{"id":300169,"date":"2018-03-08T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-03-08T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/a-treasure-problem\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:21","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:21","slug":"a-treasure-problem","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-treasure-problem\/","title":{"rendered":"A Treasure Problem"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Most conflict is caused by misplaced desire. Paul David Tripp calls it a &#8220;treasure problem.&#8221; There&#8217;s something you treasure more than your spouse or God.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-03-08.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:12","filesize":"23.98M","filesize_raw":"25149068","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2908,2822,2827,2862],"tags":[2918,4252,2877,4273,4272,4271,4270],"podcast_series":[7197],"cwp_profile":[3097],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300169","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-forgiveness","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-repentance","category-understanding-differences","tag-conflict","tag-holy-spirit","tag-marriage","tag-misplaced-desire","tag-misplaced-treasure","tag-sin","tag-treasure-your-spouse","podcast_series-the-treasures-of-your-heart","cwp_profile-paul-david-tripp","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300169\/a-treasure-problem","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300169\/a-treasure-problem","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"sdmk97eDXA\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-treasure-problem\/\">A Treasure Problem<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-treasure-problem\/embed\/#?secret=sdmk97eDXA\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;A Treasure Problem&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"sdmk97eDXA\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Most conflict is caused by misplaced desire. Paul David Tripp calls it a \"treasure problem.\" There's something you treasure more than your spouse or God.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-03-08.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When you got married, you made a vow to love, honor, and cherish. Paul David Tripp wants to know\u2014just exactly who are you loving, honoring, and cherishing in your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u201cI have a list of things that I think will make me happy\u2014that I think the good life is about\u2014and your job, as my spouse, is to deliver those to me,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s not a marriage. That motivation of marriage is not driven by love of you [the spouse]; what\u2019s it driven by?\u2014it\u2019s driven by love of me. I\u2019m in the center of my world, and I know exactly what you need to do in order to make me happy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, March 8<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. So, are you more focused on how your spouse is not sacrificially loving you than you are on sacrificially loving your spouse? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll think about that today with our friend, Paul David Tripp. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. We\u2019re going to hear Part Two of a message today from a guy who was pretty transparent about the fact that he had an anger problem that controlled his marriage for a long period of time after he was first married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; and it cost him dearly in an argument with his wife. [Laughter] Do you want to share the story?\u2014because some of our listeners may have missed it from yesterday. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is a great line! So, Paul David Tripp, who is whom we\u2019re going to hear from today\u2014he is an author and a speaker \/ he\u2019s been a guest on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014he was one of the speakers onboard the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage cruise, back a couple of weeks ago. He shared this many times, but it\u2019s a classic story\u2014in an argument with his wife, he kind of arrogantly and self-righteously looked at her and he said, \u201cYou know, 95 percent of the women in our church would <em>love<\/em> to be married to a guy like me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>To which his wife said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>She just smiled at him and said, \u201cWell, I guess I\u2019m in the five percent.\u201d [Laughter] That kind of took the air out of his helium balloon at that moment; right? I mean, it was one of those moments where God got his attention and showed him his own pride and his own arrogance and helped him see what was controlling his heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis whole message we\u2019re hearing this week, Dennis, is about how what we treasure in our heart is what controls our lives and our relationships; ultimately, it reflects on our relationship with God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And you don\u2019t think of going on a cruise\u2014on a big ship with 3,000 other people\u2014to get a spiritual wheel alignment, but it can sure happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It does; yes. We wanted to make sure that our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners had the opportunity to be on next year\u2019s cruise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we got off the boat, back in February, we were more than 70 percent booked for the 2019 cruise. I went to Tim Bell, who directs the cruises, and I said, \u201cWe have to save some cabins for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners who may want to join us.\u201d He said, \u201cWell, we better get to them quick.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe expect this cruise will sell out in the next few weeks. If you are interested in joining us Valentine\u2019s week of 2019\u2014with Juli Slattery, and Voddie Baucham, and Ron Deal; Colton Dixon is going to be onboard \/ we have a number of concerts\u2014we have a bunch of stuff\u2014Alex and Stephen Kendrick are going to be there with the movie that they\u2019re going to be working on this summer. We\u2019ll see an early version of that movie, next year, on the cruise. If you\u2019d like to join us for the 2019 <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise, you need to call today\u2014get more information \/ reserve your stateroom\u20141-800-FL-TODAY is the number\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can find out more about the cruise, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. We hope you\u2019ll make the call and be with us. It\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> weeklong getaway.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The speaker you\u2019re about to hear, Paul David Tripp, is a best-selling author. I want to promise you something\u2014actually, it\u2019s a warning. He wears steel boots, and he\u2019s about to step on your toes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Your marriage will always be victimized by or enhanced by what you treasure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to address wives in the room\u2014you know who you are. [Laughter] This may not be you, but you\u2019ll be able to relate to the example. Let\u2019s say you\u2019re the wife and you have attached your identity, and meaning, and purpose to the order, beauty, and cleanliness of your home. That\u2019s not a bad thing; but it must not be a source of identity, meaning, and purpose\u2014that means this good thing has risen to a level of importance that should never be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow what\u2019s going to happen? Well, you\u2019ll follow people into rooms, making sure they don\u2019t make that room look like somebody actually lives there. [Laughter] You\u2019ll take, personally, the crumbs on the kitchen counter\u2014you\u2019ll say to yourself: \u201cI can\u2019t believe it! I <em>do<\/em>, and I <em>do<\/em>, and I <em>do<\/em> for my family; and every day they <em>crumb<\/em> me.\u201d I mean, it\u2019s sort of like you\u2019re thinking that everybody in your family is carrying around this Ziploc<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> bag of crumbs; and it\u2019s a plot. They say: \u201cYou crumb her at 2,\u201d \u201cI\u2019ll crumb her at 3,\u201d \u201cYou crumb her at 7\u201d; \u201cYeah!\u201d [Laughter] Listen, dear\u2014you\u2019re insane! [Laughter] You\u2019re just drop-dead <em>gone<\/em>; because something that\u2019s a good thing has become a <em>ruling<\/em> thing, and it\u2019s <em>victimizing<\/em> your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDon\u2019t sit there smugly, guys\u2014you\u2019re next. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s say you\u2019re the man in the marriage; and in ways you don\u2019t realize\u2014this just breaks my heart \/ I think there are hundreds of thousands of Christian men, who don\u2019t realize this\u2014your circle of treasure is your work. It\u2019s where you feel important; it\u2019s where you can be a contributor; it\u2019s where you actually get rewarded for what you do; it\u2019s where you have a little bit of responsibility and a possibility for advancement. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow watch this. That means, as you drive home, you\u2019re driving <em>away<\/em> from your circle of treasure\u2014sadly, your family exists <em>outside<\/em> of your circle of treasure. This is heartbreaking to me. There are hundreds of thousands of Christian men who, when they punch off of work, punch off on life. By the time they get home, if they were able to be honest, what they really want is to be left alone. There are thousands and thousands of men in this situation. Their idea of a good night is just not being bothered. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn case you don\u2019t realize it, that\u2019s <em>not<\/em> okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat <em>surely<\/em> doesn\u2019t come close to any kind of biblical definition of love. So your wife greets you at the door and she says, \u201cDear, I have to talk to you about my day.\u201d You\u2019re already a little bit nervous, because what\u2019s actually going on in your heart\u2014you don\u2019t care about her day \/ you actually don\u2019t care. You would much rather her act like she didn\u2019t have a day: \u201cJust live a day-less existence, and that\u2019ll make my life easier.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd she says: \u201cI went out for lunch with seven of my girlfriends. It was the most <em>amazing<\/em> conversation I\u2019ve ever heard in my life! I have to tell you, <em>in detail<\/em>, what all seven of those girlfriends had to say.\u201d [Laughter] You\u2019re thinking, \u201cPut bamboo under my fingernails.\u201d [Laughter] And so you\u2019ve learned the <em>skill<\/em>\u2014because you don\u2019t actually care\u2014you\u2019ve learned the skill of advancing the conversation without actually listening. She launches into her description of this conversation\u2014here\u2019s what you hear: [Babbling sounds] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve learned how to keep this going\u2014she goes, [Babbling sounds]. At the break, you say, \u201cAnd what happened next?\u201d [Laughter] You didn\u2019t hear what happened before! Now, she thinks you\u2019re listening\u2014she goes [Babbling faster]. At another break, you say, \u201cAnd how\u2019d that make you feel?\u201d [Laughter] You can keep this going for a while. Actually, in your brain, you\u2019re doing fantasy football. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I tell this in a humorous way; but guys, look at me. What I described is not okay. It\u2019s not okay to be in a marriage and have your highest treasure to be left alone. It\u2019s not okay to not care about this life of this woman to whom you are covenantally committed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s an awful thing, when somewhere down the years, the wife finally realizes: \u201cHe doesn\u2019t care. He doesn\u2019t care for me. He doesn\u2019t care about my life.\u201d Think about what it\u2019s like, men, to be in an intimate relationship with somebody who can\u2019t give you \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t15 minutes of listening without being irritated, without being impatient, without putting you down some way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou see, over here, this woman [concerned about crumbs] is convinced she\u2019s been singled out for the particular suffering of living with a community of slobs. She doesn\u2019t have a slob problem; she has a treasure problem\u2014she doesn\u2019t realize it. And this guy over here thinks that he\u2019s been cursed to live with this ridiculously talkative wife. He doesn\u2019t have a talkative wife problem; he has a treasure problem, and he doesn\u2019t realize it. Your marriage is always going to be victimized or enhanced by what you treasure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what Jesus says is, \u201cWhy would you want your marriage to sit in the middle of this kingdom of earthbound treasures?\u201d I put my heart in the hands of things it will never deliver\u2014the creative things of earth will never satisfy your heart. Listen, brothers and sisters, we need to say this again and again: \u201cEarth will never be your savior,\u201d \u201cEarth will never be your savior,\u201d \u201cEarth will never be your savior.\u201d I\u2019m driven by anxiety-bound needs\u2014most of what I call needs are not needs at all\u2014it\u2019s creating havoc in my marriage. Jesus said: \u201cNo, no, no. Don\u2019t live there; seek My kingdom.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the sweetest things Jesus said, in His time on earth, as He stood before His followers and said\u2014I love these words: \u201cFear not, little flock.\u201d \u201cFear not, little flock, for your heavenly Father has graciously chosen to give you the kingdom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJesus didn\u2019t shed His precious blood to make your little kingdom work, but to invite you to a much better kingdom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what does it mean to seek God\u2019s kingdom in your marriage? Could you write ten pages on that right now?\u2014could you? Could you write <em>five<\/em> pages? Could you write a page?\u2014a paragraph?\u2014a <em>sentence<\/em>?! I think we ought to have a sturdy resistance to using theological, biblical terms that we do not understand; because it makes you <em>think<\/em> that you have risen to a level you have not risen to in your Christian growth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I want to take you to a kingdom passage that answers the question. Turn, if you would, to Galatians 5. This whole passage kicks off with a discussion of what love is about, verses 13 through 15; and then it talks about the fact, in that struggle to love, I\u2019m not alone; because I\u2019ve been indwelt by the Holy Spirit. Now, listen to verse 19: \u201cNow the works of the flesh are evident: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201csexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLook at that <em>sin<\/em> list. What unifies all those words?\u2014they\u2019re about what?\u2014self. They\u2019re about a life driven by self\u2014\u201cWhat I want, when I want it, how I want it, where I want it, my plan \/ my rules.\u201d And what Paul says is\u2014that kind of selfish, me-istic living doesn\u2019t fit inside of the kingdom of God. It\u2019s the culture of another kingdom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then he says this: \u201cBut the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.\u201d When you are reading in your Bible and you come across the fruit of the Spirit, what do think you\u2019re reading? I would like to say to you something I think is important to say. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese are not, first, moral goals for you to achieve; because you have no hope whatsoever to turn yourself into this kind of person\u2014none! These are gifts of the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. These are treasures of such high and rare value. God harnessed the nature and controlled the events of human history so that, at a certain point, His Son would come and live the life we could not live, and die the death that we should have died, and rise again\u2014conquering sin and death\u2014and sent His Spirit to unzip us and get inside of us so that we could be this kind of people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, if you want to know what the work of the kingdom of God is\u2014between the <em>already<\/em> of your conversion and <em>not yet<\/em> of your home-going\u2014if you want to understand what it\u2019s like to seek God\u2019s kingdom in your marriage, here\u2019s what it means. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod, by powerful, divine, transforming grace, is working, moment by moment, to turn us into these kinds of people: \u201cOh, I love more; but I\u2019m not there yet,\u201d \u201cI have greater joy than I once had, but I\u2019m not there yet.\u201d <em>This<\/em> is the direction of the kingdom of God. <em>This<\/em> is what God is doing. This is the King\u2019s work, <em>right here<\/em>, <em>right now<\/em>, in your heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSeeking God\u2019s kingdom means I make God\u2019s treasures the treasures that I seek in my marriage. I don\u2019t need to be right, but I pray for grace that today I would be a person of love. I don\u2019t need control, but I pray today that I would splash joy onto my spouse. I don\u2019t need my little definition of romance, but it would be wonderful if I would make peace and not war. \u201cFear not, little flock, your heavenly Father has graciously chosen to give you the kingdom,\u201d\u2014<em>this<\/em> is what He\u2019s talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow think about this\u2014love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control\u2014who would want to live in that kind of marriage? Brothers and sisters, this is the marriage of your dream! It\u2019s yours by grace. [Applause] Run, run, run <em>from<\/em> the kingdom of self. Run, run, run <em>for<\/em> the kingdom of God. You say, \u201cPaul, I don\u2019t know how to do that.\u201d Well, you get up every morning and say: \u201cFather, I am a naturally unloving man. I naturally think of myself before I think of anybody else. And so, won\u2019t You rescue me by Your grace this morning? Help me to <em>think<\/em> of specific ways that I can love my wife. Help me to think about where she\u2019s discouraged, or where she\u2019s overwhelmed, or where she feels alone, or where she\u2019s burdened by life\u2014where she needs encouragement. I want to enter those moments with love. Help me to be a person of love. Father, my default language is often more complaint than it is joy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you know what the DNA of joy is? It\u2019s not very difficult\u2014gratitude. Did you ever notice that complainers don\u2019t have much joy? \u201cHelp me to be a grateful person.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a man and you live in the normal Western culture chauvinistic marriage, your wife does most of the menial, despicable tasks around the house. She touches items of clothing that you don\u2019t want to touch after you take them off because of the level of their toxicity. [Laughter] That\u2019s why the hamper has your underwear all around it, because you don\u2019t want to touch that stuff. You try to kick it into the hamper. She touches that stuff, because she loves you. How about writing her a note, with some flowers or some chocolate, and say: \u201cI am very aware, just because of love, you do despicable things \/ things that are unlovely to do. You do them every day. I love you. I praise God that you\u2019re in my life. I find joy in being married to you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a wife, whether you work or not, but you\u2019ve had a hard-working man who, day after day after day, has labored for the welfare of your family, why would you take that for granted? Why wouldn\u2019t you say in a note or a card that you put in his briefcase, or his book bag, or his lunch: \u201cEvery day you get up\u2014you\u2019ve done it for years\u2014and you <em>work<\/em> for the welfare of this family. I love you. I appreciate you. I respect you. I\u2019m <em>blessed<\/em> to have you in my life. I find joy in you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, you\u2019re moving in the same direction as the kingdom of God. God will never call you to do a thing without enabling you to do it. If He puts a Red Sea in front of you, He means for you to cross it\u2014He\u2019ll build a bridge, He\u2019ll send a boat, He\u2019ll give you the ability to swim, or He\u2019ll part the waters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow about peace? How about making peace and not war? How about stop being the grammar police? It doesn\u2019t make any different if he mispronounces that word\u2014for eternity, it doesn\u2019t make any difference\u2014leave him alone! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo what if she gets the history wrong in those stories? So what if she doesn\u2019t tell them the way you would tell them, men\u2014oh, <em>historian<\/em> that you are. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow about patience? Louella knows this is a hard one for me. How about gifting a person with the willingness to wait? You know what waiting does? I think this is a struggle. Waiting immediately announces to you that you\u2019re not in charge; because if you were in charge, you wouldn\u2019t wait. You have <em>never<\/em> once gotten angry because you had to wait for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe could work our way through the entire list, but listen to these words again: \u201cBut the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; against such things there is no law.\u201d Who would not like to live with a person like this? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is the marriage of everyone\u2019s dreams, purchased for you by the blood of Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLook at this: \u201cFear not, little flock, your heavenly Father has graciously chosen to give you the kingdom.\u201d Why would you want your marriage to live in that nasty, anxious, misplaced values, me-oriented kingdom of self that only leads to division, only leads to condemnation, only leads to judgment, criticism, and acrimony, when this has been offered to you by grace?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would ask you: \u201cWhat kingdom will rule your heart and set the agenda for your marriage?\u201d [Directed toward heavenly Father]: \u201cThere are many times, at street level, where my kingdom is more attractive to me than Yours; and so won\u2019t You meet me, by Your grace, and won\u2019t You rescue me from me?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou see, if Christ is right\u2014and He is\u2014by the way we\u2019re wired, I don\u2019t so much need to be rescued from my spouse. I need to be rescued from me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWon\u2019t you seek, even tonight, rescuing grace?\u2014so that, in your heart, would be that desire to run, run, run from your little kingdom of one and run, run, run toward the <em>beauty<\/em> \/ the <em>gorgeous<\/em> beauty of the kingdom of God? Make <em>His<\/em> treasures your treasures in your marriage. Could there be for marriage better words than these: \u201cFear not, little flock, for your heavenly Father has graciously chosen to give you the kingdom\u201d? <em>That\u2019s<\/em> good news. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s pray:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank You, thank You, thank You, Lord, for the stunning wisdom of Your Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we thank You more for the sacrifice of Jesus, who opened the way for us to experience such <em>gorgeous<\/em> treasures, and for the Spirit that lives inside of us, who <em>battles<\/em> on our behalf, even when we don\u2019t have the sense to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMay we make Your purpose for us our purpose in our marriage. May we make our treasures Your treasures in our marriage. May we run toward Your kingdom and Your righteousness, by grace. We pray this in the sweet and strong name of Jesus, the Lamb, the King, the Redeemer; Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That, indeed, is good news; and that\u2019s Paul David Tripp. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you know, you go back to Galatians, Chapter 5, and that list of the fruit of the Spirit and you ask yourself: \u201cIf that was what your marriage looked like every day\u2014love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control\u2014who wouldn\u2019t want that kind of a marriage?\u201d\u2014right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, that\u2019s why we get married. We get married to experience peace, joy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014the love and trust of another person\u2014to be able to have a conflict \/ work through it in a safe manner. We [Dennis and Barbara] don\u2019t do it perfectly every time; but I have to tell you, Bob\u2014after 45 years of marriage, I would not trade <em>anything<\/em> for where we are today with where we started 45 years ago. We were novices, just getting started in loving. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Paul David Tripp did, on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise was\u2014he\u2019ll help you move out of the first grade of love\u2014where you\u2019re just starting out, and you\u2019re kind of repeating the same year over, and over, and over again\u2014and he\u2019ll help you begin to graduate and move toward maturity. That\u2019s what we\u2019re looking for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and again, let me remind those of you who are listening about the upcoming <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise\u2014it\u2019s actually Valentine\u2019s week of 2019. The reason we\u2019re talking about it now is because we only have a few hundred cabins still available. More than 70 percent of our cabins are reserved; and we wanted to make sure <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners had an opportunity to join us as we head to Honduras, Belize, and Key West next year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get more information by going online at FamilyLifeToday.com. If you\u2019d like to reserve your cabin, you need to call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY. We have a special offer going on right now that is good until March 19<sup>th<\/sup>. So again, if you need more information, go online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to join us. We have a great lineup for next year\u2014solid, biblical teaching \/ great music\u2014it\u2019s a refreshing week away. Maybe it\u2019s a special event for you, as a marriage\u2014a tenth anniversary, a twentieth, twenty-fifth\u2014whatever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCome join us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise next February.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to walk our way through the first half of Romans, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChapter 12, with our friends, Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth, as we look at how this passage applies to the marriage relationship. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our friend, Mark Ramey, who helped out on today\u2019s program. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> of Little Rock, Arkansas; \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300169","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300169"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300169"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300169"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300169"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300169"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300169"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300169"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}