{"id":300167,"date":"2018-03-07T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-03-07T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/reframing-your-conflict\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:21","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:21","slug":"reframing-your-conflict","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/reframing-your-conflict\/","title":{"rendered":"Reframing Your Conflict"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. That also applies in marriage. Paul David Tripp challenges husbands and wives to reframe their conflict and identify where their treasure is misplaced.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-03-07.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:29:54","filesize":"27.38M","filesize_raw":"28705817","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2908,2822,2827,2862],"tags":[2918,4252,2877,4273,4272,4271,4270],"podcast_series":[7197],"cwp_profile":[3097],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300167","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-forgiveness","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-repentance","category-understanding-differences","tag-conflict","tag-holy-spirit","tag-marriage","tag-misplaced-desire","tag-misplaced-treasure","tag-sin","tag-treasure-your-spouse","podcast_series-the-treasures-of-your-heart","cwp_profile-paul-david-tripp","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300167\/reframing-your-conflict","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300167\/reframing-your-conflict","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"4VqWAqJK58\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/reframing-your-conflict\/\">Reframing Your Conflict<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/reframing-your-conflict\/embed\/#?secret=4VqWAqJK58\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Reframing Your Conflict&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"4VqWAqJK58\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. That also applies in marriage. Paul David Tripp challenges husbands and wives to reframe their conflict and identify where their treasure is misplaced.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-03-07.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It is right to want good things; isn\u2019t it? Paul David Tripp says the problem comes when we want those good things too much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> A desire for even a good thing becomes a bad thing when it becomes a ruling thing. It\u2019s completely normal to want to have a little control in your life, that your life would not be constantly chaotic. But you cannot live with somebody who has to have control all the time. The demand to have control all the time will crush your spouse and destroy your marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, March 7<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. What are the good things you want in your marriage that you may want too much? We\u2019ll hear today from Paul David Tripp. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. You know, I think it\u2019s important\u2014and we\u2019re going to hear this today\u2014I think it\u2019s important for us to recognize that there may be tips, or techniques, or things we can do in marriage that will improve our relationship; but if we really want to get to the core, we have to get past the tips and get to what\u2019s motivating us\u2014what\u2019s at our heart. That\u2019s what\u2019s really driving the quality of our marriage; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You need to get on a treadmill \/ hook yourself up to a heart monitor\u2014and I\u2019m not talking about a physical heart\u2014I\u2019m talking about your spiritual heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So a spiritual treadmill; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ve thought about this\u2014if I could just create a way to monitor and measure people\u2019s heart for God. Listen to what Solomon said in Proverbs, Chapter 4, verse 23: \u201cKeep your heart with all vigilance.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother translation says, \u201cGuard your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur guest on the broadcast today is going to give a message that was taped at our <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> cruise. He spoke about how what we treasure in our hearts really points out what\u2019s important to us but also can determine where our life ends up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is our friend, Paul David Tripp. Many of our listeners know who he is\u2014he\u2019s an author and a speaker \/ has been on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> a number of times. He joined us a few weeks ago on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise and gave a <em>great<\/em> message\u2014you\u2019re going to hear it today and tomorrow. I just want our listeners to know, if you have any interest in being on our next <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise, Valentine\u2019s week of 2019\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Think about it for a minute\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you could celebrate ten years, twenty-five years, fifty years\u2014<em>find a reason<\/em>\u2014but join us on this cruise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, here\u2019s the thing\u2014we have more than 70 percent of the cabins already booked for next year. We expect, in the next 30 days, the ship\u2019s going to be full. I talked to our team\u2014I said, \u201cWe have to let our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners know about this so that they can join us if they want to.\u201d You need to call\u2014there\u2019s a special offer on cabins. The remaining cabins are available until March 19<sup>th<\/sup> at a special rate. You can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get more information \/ to book your cabin for the <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise; or get information, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tVoddie Baucham\u2019s going to be with us, Julie Slattery, Ron Deal. We\u2019re going to get a chance to see Alex and Stephen Kendrick\u2019s new movie, which goes into production very soon. They\u2019re going to bring it onboard the cruise and share it with us next year. Now is the time to secure your cabin and plan to be with us for the 2019 <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ll hear great messages onboard the cruise, like the one we\u2019re going to hear today from our friend, Paul David Tripp, about what we treasure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>I want to pastor you for a moment. This is a holy moment. We\u2019re here by divine appointment. I am so bold as to believe that this moment cannot be just a dissemination of marital information; but, by the power of the Spirit of God, lead to heart and life transformation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to ask you to do two things. First\u2014listen very carefully\u2014I want you, right here \/ right now, to fire your inner lawyer. I can say that because I have an inner law firm. [Laughter] Open your heart to what God has to say to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to say something else\u2014wives, if you would listen to me first. Don\u2019t sit there and listen for your husband and say, \u201cI am so glad I threatened this man onto this cruise, because the Lord knows this man <em>needs<\/em> what this man is saying right now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLadies, how sad it would be if you self-righteously sat there and listened for your husbands and missed the good things that God has for <em>you<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMen, don\u2019t relax. [Laughter] Husbands, don\u2019t listen for your wives. Don\u2019t sit there and say, \u201cWhy does this man have to come all the way from Philadelphia to say all the things to her that I\u2019ve said for years? [Laughter] Now watch, she\u2019s going to listen to him. That makes me so mad.\u201d Seriously, listen for <em>you<\/em>\u2014open your heart and watch what God will do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the best way to get into what we are going to examine is a little bit of my own story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was a very, very angry man. I didn\u2019t know I was an angry man, but I was an angry man. Louella, my dear wife, knew that I was angry; my children knew I was angry, but I didn\u2019t know I was an angry man. If you had characterized me that way, that would have hurt my feelings; because I did not think of myself that way at all. But I was in the midst of destroying my marriage, my life, and my ministry; and I did not know it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLouella would very faithfully bring that anger before me. I want to say that she did it in extremely patient and godly ways. I would not listen \/ I would not hear. I would wrap my robes of righteousness around me, which I have none, and tell her what a great husband she had\u2014remind her of the glory that is me. [Laughter] I would tell her that I thought her problem was discontent, and I would pray for her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat helped her\u2014[Laughter]\u2014that\u2019s a lie!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was one moment where I got on a bit of a roll and I said these deeply humble things to Louella. I actually said this\u2014this came out of <em>my<\/em> mouth: \u201cNinety-five percent of the women in our church would <em>love<\/em> to be married to a man like me.\u201d [Laughter] How\u2019s that for humility? Louella very quickly informed me she was in the five percent. [Laughter] It was a marital and moral disaster. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was on a weekend, much like we\u2019re enjoying. At the end of the weekend, my brother, Ted, said to me, \u201cYou know, Paul, we ought to make what we\u2019ve heard this weekend practical to our own lives.\u201d We were driving up the northeast extension of the Pennsylvania turnpike. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you start?\u201d I can never, ever forget this moment. I\u2019ll celebrate this moment ten million years into eternity. Ted didn\u2019t make statements; he began to ask me questions. As he was asking me questions, it was like God was ripping down curtains; and I was seeing myself with accuracy for the first time in many years. I was hearing myself with accuracy. I was broken and grieved\u2014praise God \/ praise God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was so disjointing; it was so different from the concept I carried of myself. It was hard for me to imagine that that man was me, but it was. I\u2019m going to say this\u2014don\u2019t defend yourself against the convicting ministry of the Holy Spirit. Don\u2019t run <em>from<\/em> the convicting ministry of the Holy Spirit\u2014run, run, run <em>toward<\/em> the convicting ministry of the Holy Spirit. You are not being condemned; you are being <em>rescued<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went home that night; and all I could think about was, \u201cI want to talk with Louella.\u201d I came in the house, rather seriously, asked her if we could sit down and talk. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said to her, \u201cI know for many years you\u2019ve tried to talk to me about my anger; and I\u2019ve been unwilling to listen \/ I\u2019ve been unwilling to hear. I can honestly say, tonight, I want to hear what you have to say to me.\u201d Louella teared up a little bit; and then she told me she loved me, which I thought was an act of amazing grace after what I had put her through. And then she talked for two hours. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd in those two hours, God began the process of a radical undoing and rebuilding of the heart of this man. The operative word there is \u201cprocess.\u201d I wasn\u2019t zapped by lightning, but I had open eyes, and open ears, and, by God\u2019s grace, an open heart. I saw that anger everywhere I looked for the next few months\u2014it was very painful. There were times where I felt like I couldn\u2019t breathe. But I want you to hear this\u2014that pain was the pain of grace. God was making that anger like vomit in my mouth so I would never go back there again. Praise Him for His grace.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I have come to understand, as I tell my story, that I\u2019m not the only angry person in the room. There are angry men and women in this room. Reflect on how much conflict there is in our marriage. Reflect on how many days you\u2019re able to go through without some kind of conflict interrupting the unity and the understanding love that is God\u2019s purpose for you. Reflect on how little things become big things because it doesn\u2019t take much for us to get irritated and angry and go places we should not go. Reflect on the fact that no one in this room has ever had a marriage that hasn\u2019t disappointed them in some way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to tell you something that you may have <em>never<\/em> thought of. My anger was about kingdoms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou say: \u201cWhat in the world are you talking about?! What sense does that make?\u201d Well, hear what I\u2019m about to say\u2014marriage is <em>war<\/em>. What I\u2019m talking about is all that tension, all that nastiness, all those awkward, uncomfortable moments, are really the fruit of a deeper war. It\u2019s only when you understand and gain ground in that deeper war that you\u2019ll ever gain ground in all of those things that hurt and disappoint us all. That deeper war is not fought between you and your husband or you and your wife. That deeper war\u2014hear what I\u2019m about to say\u2014is fought on the turf of your <em>heart<\/em>. It\u2019s fought for control of your <em>soul<\/em>. Listen carefully\u2014marriage, this side of eternity, is always a war between the kingdom of self and the kingdom of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTurn, if you would, in your Bibles to Matthew 6, beginning with verse 19. Before we look at the Bible, I want to say something about the Bible. I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve noticed this or not, but your Bible isn\u2019t arranged by topic. That makes some of you mad. You wish it was arranged by topic and there\u2019d be tabs on the end of the page so you could go to your topic of interest. Listen\u2014the Bible isn\u2019t arranged by topic because of divine editorial anger but because of divine intention. The Bible is essentially a grand redemptive story. Maybe the better way to say it\u2014the Bible is a theologically annotated story \/ it\u2019s a story with God\u2019s essential, explanatory, and applicatory notes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here\u2019s what this means\u2014if all you do is go to the marriage passages to understand marriage, you will miss the vast majority of the things the Bible has to say about this profoundly important relationship of everyday life; because the Bible doesn\u2019t work that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo the degree that every passage tells me something about God, and something about life in the fallen world, and something about the disaster of sin, and something about the glorious operation of grace\u2014to that degree, every passage tells me something about everything in my life. Welcome to your Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we\u2019re going to go to a passage that doesn\u2019t mention marriage, but I am <em>convinced<\/em> you can\u2019t properly understand the struggle of marriage without the wisdom of this passage. I\u2019m going to read a rather lengthy passage:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. The eye is the lamp of the body; so if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light; but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTherefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, they neither sow, nor reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you, by being anxious, can add a single hour to your span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, oh you of little faith? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTherefore, do not be anxious, saying, \u201cWhat shall we eat?\u201d or \u201cWhat shall we drink?\u201d or \u201cWhat shall we wear?\u201d For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat tells you that verses 19 through 32 are elaborate unpacking, elaborate explaining, elaborate defining of the thoughts, motivations, and emotions\u2014are you ready for this?\u2014of another kingdom. Why would Jesus spend all this time talking about this other kingdom? Because He knows that there\u2019s nothing more seductive, there\u2019s nothing more attractive, there\u2019s nothing more deceptive than the claustrophobic little kingdom of one\u2014the kingdom of self.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou say, \u201cPaul, I\u2019m still not sure how this applies to marriage.\u201d Well, let\u2019s start with a helicopter view. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are, in this passage, three treasure principles. If you\u2019re taking notes, get these down. These will help you in, not just this area, but many areas of your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the first one: \u201cEveryone lives for some kind of treasure.\u201d We don\u2019t live by instinct\u2014we\u2019re value-oriented, goal-oriented, purpose-oriented people. You are always after what you have named as important. You\u2019re always after some kind of treasure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecond principle\u2014a powerful principle this is: \u201cThe thing that is your treasure will control your heart.\u201d Oh my goodness! Now, you only understand that if you understand what heart means. Here\u2019s a definition: \u201cThe heart is the causal core of your personhood,\u201d \u201cThe heart is the causal core of your personhood.\u201d It\u2019s the steering wheel; it\u2019s a directional system, being the seat of your emotions, the seat of your will, [and] the seat of your thinking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat principle is very important. The thing that is your treasure will control your heart. Here\u2019s what he\u2019s saying: \u201cYour treasure will control the thing that controls everything else in your life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThird principle: \u201cWhat controls your heart will control your words and behavior.\u201d No one can serve two\u2014master is a term of control\u2014what controls your heart will control your words and your behavior. You could argue\u2014I think this passage is arguing this\u2014if you apply this to marriage\u2014oh man, fasten your seatbelts. Everything you do and everything you say in your marriage, whether you realize it or not, is your attempt to get out of your marriage what is valuable to you. Everything you do and everything you say in your marriage is your attempt to get out of your marriage what is important to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat is your functional treasure?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I would watch, wife, the last six weeks of your words and behavior in your marriage\u2014if I\u2019d watch the moments where you\u2019re ripping angry, if I\u2019d watch the moments where you\u2019re joyful, if I\u2019d watch the days where you say, \u201cThat was a horrible day,\u201d\u2014what would I conclude you\u2019re living for in your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHusbands, if I would watch the last six weeks of the video of your marriage, what would I conclude\u2014in those happy moments, and mad moments, and sad moments, and frustrated moments\u2014is the thing that you\u2019re living for in your marriage? Your words and behavior in your marriage are your attempt to get what\u2019s valuable out of your marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let\u2019s get a little closer to marriage. Hear this principle: \u201cA desire\u201d\u2014that\u2019s what treasure is getting at\u2014\u201cfor even a good thing becomes a bad thing when it becomes a ruling thing.\u201d It\u2019s not wrong to want a little control in your life; nobody wants unmitigated chaos. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you can\u2019t live with a person who has to have control all the time. If you demand control all the time, you will <em>crush<\/em> the heart of your spouse and you will destroy your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not wrong to want to be right. You\u2019re a rational human being\u2014you want to know that you\u2019re correct. That gives peace to your heart \/ that\u2019s part of how you\u2019ve been wired by God. But a person who has to always be right will destroy the intimacy and closeness of the people that are around them; because they will communicate: \u201cI don\u2019t care about <em>you<\/em>. What I care about is being right.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not wrong to want beautiful material things around you. God\u2019s given you eyes and ears to see beauty and put you in a world that\u2019s <em>full<\/em> of beauty. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut\u2014you listen\u2014if your heart is <em>ruled<\/em> by the desire for material things, you\u2019ll spend so much time gaining, maintaining, and enjoying, you\u2019ll have little time for the more important things in life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHusbands and wives, what good thing has become a ruling thing and is harming your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, again, we\u2019ve been listening to our friend, Paul David Tripp, talking about how what we treasure determines what we live for and what we live for determines what our relationships look like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And Bob, after this message was over, Barbara and I just sat down with each other and we said, \u201cThis first point\u2014everyone lives for some kind of treasure,\u201d\u2014I asked Barbara \/ I said, \u201cSo, what do you think I\u2019m living for?\u201d We had a good conversation. It was very, very honest, and instructive, and wasn\u2019t critical\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it was positive. But I think that\u2019d make a <em>great<\/em> question over the dinner table tonight for every married couple to ask one another\u2014or maybe some private time, when you get a chance to talk\u2014\u201cWhat are you living for? What is it that you truly treasure in your heart?\u201d Because if you treasure that, that\u2019s going to be where you reward is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and all of us would say\u2014I think that we want to treasure noble things \/ we want to be about the right thing. We know what the Sunday school answer is to what we treasure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s well-said.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But if we pull back and ask: \u201cOkay; what does our life reflect? What are the passions that drive us?\u201d This is where we have to get honest and say: \u201cYou know, too many times during my day, I am pursuing something other than God\u2019s glory. I\u2019m pursuing something that\u2019s more self-satisfying than that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, Bob, let me conclude by re-reading a passage that Paul David Tripp included in his message. It\u2019s the words of Jesus Christ, from the Sermon on the Mount\u2014Matthew, Chapter 6, verse 19: \u201cDo not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is one of the things we love about the opportunity to be onboard with listeners for a week on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise; because we get a chance to really soak in solid, biblical teaching. It\u2019s a great environment\u2014we\u2019re having fun \/ we\u2019re relaxed. It\u2019s <em>amazing<\/em> to see how, in that environment, God works in marriage relationships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI talked to somebody who shared with me that they were on the cruise last year. They said, \u201cOur marriage was not in a good spot when we came; and that week, God used it powerfully in our lives.\u201d There were some breakthroughs, and they were back to celebrate what God had done the previous year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe you have a special event coming up in your marriage\u2014a tenth anniversary \/ twenty-fifth anniversary\u2014something along those lines. Plan to join us, Valentine\u2019s week of 2019, as we go to Honduras, to Belize, and to Key West. We have a great lineup of speakers and artists. Voddie Baucham is going to be with us; Dr. Julie Slattery is going to join us; Colton Dixon will be onboard\u2014it\u2019s going to be a <em>great<\/em> event. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we only have about 30 percent of the cabins still available. We expect this is going to sell out in the next 30 days. We have some special rates that are available until March 19<sup>th<\/sup>. Now is the right time for you to call for more information\u20141-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also get information, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; but if you want to register, you need to call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear Part Two of Paul David Tripp\u2019s message on how what we treasure in our hearts affects the quality of our marriages. I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch. He got some help from our friend, Mark Ramey. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> of Little Rock, Arkansas; \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300167","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300167"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300167"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300167"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300167"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300167"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300167"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300167"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}