{"id":300157,"date":"2018-02-26T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-02-26T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/how-to-love-and-support-your-cop\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:20","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:20","slug":"how-to-love-and-support-your-cop","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-to-love-and-support-your-cop\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Love and Support Your Cop"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Victoria Newman, reflects on the days when she first met and dated her husband, Brent.  Newman talks about the circumstances that first lead Brent to the police academy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-02-26.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:01","filesize":"24.74M","filesize_raw":"25943688","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2860,2873,2895],"tags":[4257,4258,4259,2607],"podcast_series":[7195],"cwp_profile":[8816],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300157","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hardship-and-suffering","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","category-military-marriage","tag-first-responder","tag-first-responder-marriage","tag-policeman","tag-stress","podcast_series-a-chip-on-my-shoulder","cwp_profile-victoria-newman","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300157\/how-to-love-and-support-your-cop","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300157\/how-to-love-and-support-your-cop","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Fdmks9bDnO\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-to-love-and-support-your-cop\/\">How to Love and Support Your Cop<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-to-love-and-support-your-cop\/embed\/#?secret=Fdmks9bDnO\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;How to Love and Support Your Cop&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Fdmks9bDnO\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-02-26.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-02-26.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Most violence occurs in homes\u2014it\u2019s domestic violence that officers see. As you are sharing your story, I couldn\u2019t help but think a couple of things. Number one\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1 Corinthians, Chapter 15, [verse] 33, says, \u201cBad company corrupts good morals.\u201d I could see a police officer, who is a follower of Christ, actually, get caught off guard; because he\u2019s living almost in a foreign land. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The second thing that hit me is what you\u2019re pointing out; and it\u2019s where you went for safety when you began to experience this trouble in your own marriage and relationship with your husband. You went to the church to find a safe place to be real\/authentic and share what\u2019s going on: \u201cShare my reality,\u201d but reality wasn\u2019t necessarily welcomed there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> It\u2019s funny. Those early years, we were going to EvFree Fullerton, where Chuck Swindoll was, actually, our senior pastor and\u2014incredible. I actually worked there, early; I had wonderful support. I was working for Family Ministries, there in the College Ministries. I had all kinds of wonderful resources, right there at my desk; but at the same time, I didn\u2019t really talk much about what was actually going on. It just didn\u2019t seem appropriate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Too raw? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> Yes; I remember going to a little retreat with our Sunday school class. There were a couple of gals, and there was something that we had heard\u2014I don\u2019t even remember, at this point\u2014but I do remember being overwhelmed by the fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNormally, I wouldn\u2019t entertain that fear; but at that particular time, it brought up feelings of, you know: \u201cIs my husband going to die? Is he not going to come home one of these days?\u201d I did open up to some gals, who were not law enforcement wives at all. I just remember the look\u2014wide-eyed, looking at me\u2014going: \u201cWhoa! I don\u2019t know how I could handle that,\u201d and just feeling a little isolated; but at the same time\u2014and it was safe \/ it was safe\u2014but they had <em>no<\/em> idea. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, that\u2019s the point\u2014when an individual or a couple get isolated in the middle of high stress and trauma, that\u2019s where Satan has a heyday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been around this enough to know that the right response, in the middle of the stress and the trauma, is to get help \/ get support\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014get other people, who understand what you\u2019re going through, and go through it together. \u201cTo bear one another\u2019s burdens\u201d\u2014that\u2019s Galatians 6:2\u2014\u201cand so fulfill the law of Christ, the law of love, with one another.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m envisioning you, as a young wife, married to the guy you had\u2014this was your dream guy; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And here he is, and now you\u2019re fearing every day when he goes off to work; and he\u2019s coming home\u2014he\u2019s a different guy. I mean, early on, you had to be going, \u201cWhat have I gotten myself into?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And who do you talk to about that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t talk to anybody. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> And I don\u2019t know how I did that; I really don\u2019t. I think I was just looking for answers, and compartmentalized it, and worked and spent time with people on\u2014I remember going over to somebody that I didn\u2019t know for Easter, because he was working\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you know, through the holidays. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You gritted your teeth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> I did, and I just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Survival. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, in a survival mode, you built walls, not bridges; and you were isolated. In isolation, the enemy can convince you of anything; and we have a number of listeners, right now, who know exactly what I\u2019m talking about. They\u2019re isolated \/ they\u2019re alone\u2014they\u2019re locked in a state of fear and paralysis: \u201cDon\u2019t want to let somebody into my life; because if they find out what I\u2019m going through, they\u2019re going to be shocked. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cThey won\u2019t believe it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYet, as we\u2019re going to hear the rest of your story\u2014and a great story of redemption\u2014it is as you risk rejection \/ as you get open and honest with another safe person in the church\u2014same-sex person, I might add\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014it needs to be women talking with women \/ men talking with men\u2014or a couples group, where you can get real and get honest. That\u2019s where the pressure is released; and finally, you can exhale. Others will have access to the interior of your lives\u2014they can coach you; they can build into your lives; they can disciple you and, maybe, help bring your husband back to the faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And there can be any number of factors that can lead to stress in a marriage relationship that can lead to couples being isolated; but you stop and think about law enforcement, and that\u2019s a profession that is going to be a more dangerous profession because of the exposure to stress is daily. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And that\u2019s what we talk about, Bob, at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaway. We talk about isolation, and oneness, and \u201cHow do you avoid isolation in your marriage?\u201d\u2014but also\u2014\u201cHow do avoid isolation with other couples and not allowing people to have that access to your lives?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to hear a story, here, of how God led this couple, Victoria and her husband Brent, to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> and how God used that in their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It occurs to me that there are probably listeners\u2014you may not be married to someone in law enforcement\u2014but if you think about people you know in your church, or in your neighborhood, or just people in your sphere of influence, you probably know somebody who is involved in law enforcement. To get a copy of Victoria\u2019s book and give it to them as a gift could be a <em>great<\/em> blessing and a great way to open a door for deeper conversations around spiritual matters. The book is called <em>A CHiP on My Shoulder: How to Love Your Cop with Attitude<\/em>. We\u2019ve got copies of Victoria Newman\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order your copy. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m also thinking\u2014to scholarship a couple, you know, who are in law enforcement\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014give them a scholarship \/ a gift card to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway\u2014again, what a great way to bless that couple. They are in a high-risk occupation when it comes to marital health. To be giving them an opportunity to focus on their marriage and to strengthen their marriage\u2014that\u2019s a great ministry you can have. You can find out more about how to get a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> gift card or get a copy of Victoria\u2019s book\u2014go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us if you have any questions at 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know we\u2019re talking about kind of a specialized area of ministry today when we talk about people in law enforcement, but our goal at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> is to effectively develop all marriages and families. Where there are unique needs and challenges, we want to be available with practical biblical help and hope for every couple. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe believe God\u2019s design for marriage and family is for couples to thrive, and to grow, and to experience joy in the context of what He\u2019s designed. The resources we create \/ the events we host\u2014like the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage giveaway \/ like the <em>Blended &amp; Blessed<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> one-day event that we\u2019re going to be hosting in April that\u2019s going to be livestreamed all around the world\u2014all that we do, here, at FamilyLife\u2014this radio program\u2014all has the same objective and that is to help build stronger marriages and families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you invest in this work, you\u2019re investing in those marriages and families. You\u2019re helping moms and dads figure out how to resolve their issues to stay together and to keep the family intact. We\u2019re grateful for all of you who partner with us in this effort. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a long-time listener\u2014you\u2019ve never made a donation\u2014you can donate easily online today at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about the stress point that you came to in your marriage, Victoria, where you didn\u2019t know if the marriage was going to survive. We\u2019ll hear the details on that tomorrow. Hope all of you can be back with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:27:01"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.74M"],"filesize_raw":["25943688"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300157.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300157.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Newman, reflects on the days when she first met and dated her husband, Brent. Newman talks about the circumstances that first lead Brent to the police academy.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-02-26.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Most violence occurs in homes\u2014it\u2019s domestic violence that officers see. As you are sharing your story, I couldn\u2019t help but think a couple of things. Number one\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1 Corinthians, Chapter 15, [verse] 33, says, \u201cBad company corrupts good morals.\u201d I could see a police officer, who is a follower of Christ, actually, get caught off guard; because he\u2019s living almost in a foreign land. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The second thing that hit me is what you\u2019re pointing out; and it\u2019s where you went for safety when you began to experience this trouble in your own marriage and relationship with your husband. You went to the church to find a safe place to be real\/authentic and share what\u2019s going on: \u201cShare my reality,\u201d but reality wasn\u2019t necessarily welcomed there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> It\u2019s funny. Those early years, we were going to EvFree Fullerton, where Chuck Swindoll was, actually, our senior pastor and\u2014incredible. I actually worked there, early; I had wonderful support. I was working for Family Ministries, there in the College Ministries. I had all kinds of wonderful resources, right there at my desk; but at the same time, I didn\u2019t really talk much about what was actually going on. It just didn\u2019t seem appropriate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Too raw? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> Yes; I remember going to a little retreat with our Sunday school class. There were a couple of gals, and there was something that we had heard\u2014I don\u2019t even remember, at this point\u2014but I do remember being overwhelmed by the fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNormally, I wouldn\u2019t entertain that fear; but at that particular time, it brought up feelings of, you know: \u201cIs my husband going to die? Is he not going to come home one of these days?\u201d I did open up to some gals, who were not law enforcement wives at all. I just remember the look\u2014wide-eyed, looking at me\u2014going: \u201cWhoa! I don\u2019t know how I could handle that,\u201d and just feeling a little isolated; but at the same time\u2014and it was safe \/ it was safe\u2014but they had <em>no<\/em> idea. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, that\u2019s the point\u2014when an individual or a couple get isolated in the middle of high stress and trauma, that\u2019s where Satan has a heyday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been around this enough to know that the right response, in the middle of the stress and the trauma, is to get help \/ get support\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014get other people, who understand what you\u2019re going through, and go through it together. \u201cTo bear one another\u2019s burdens\u201d\u2014that\u2019s Galatians 6:2\u2014\u201cand so fulfill the law of Christ, the law of love, with one another.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m envisioning you, as a young wife, married to the guy you had\u2014this was your dream guy; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And here he is, and now you\u2019re fearing every day when he goes off to work; and he\u2019s coming home\u2014he\u2019s a different guy. I mean, early on, you had to be going, \u201cWhat have I gotten myself into?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And who do you talk to about that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t talk to anybody. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> And I don\u2019t know how I did that; I really don\u2019t. I think I was just looking for answers, and compartmentalized it, and worked and spent time with people on\u2014I remember going over to somebody that I didn\u2019t know for Easter, because he was working\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you know, through the holidays. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You gritted your teeth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> I did, and I just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Survival. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Victoria:<\/strong> Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, in a survival mode, you built walls, not bridges; and you were isolated. In isolation, the enemy can convince you of anything; and we have a number of listeners, right now, who know exactly what I\u2019m talking about. They\u2019re isolated \/ they\u2019re alone\u2014they\u2019re locked in a state of fear and paralysis: \u201cDon\u2019t want to let somebody into my life; because if they find out what I\u2019m going through, they\u2019re going to be shocked. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cThey won\u2019t believe it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYet, as we\u2019re going to hear the rest of your story\u2014and a great story of redemption\u2014it is as you risk rejection \/ as you get open and honest with another safe person in the church\u2014same-sex person, I might add\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014it needs to be women talking with women \/ men talking with men\u2014or a couples group, where you can get real and get honest. That\u2019s where the pressure is released; and finally, you can exhale. Others will have access to the interior of your lives\u2014they can coach you; they can build into your lives; they can disciple you and, maybe, help bring your husband back to the faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And there can be any number of factors that can lead to stress in a marriage relationship that can lead to couples being isolated; but you stop and think about law enforcement, and that\u2019s a profession that is going to be a more dangerous profession because of the exposure to stress is daily. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And that\u2019s what we talk about, Bob, at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaway. We talk about isolation, and oneness, and \u201cHow do you avoid isolation in your marriage?\u201d\u2014but also\u2014\u201cHow do avoid isolation with other couples and not allowing people to have that access to your lives?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to hear a story, here, of how God led this couple, Victoria and her husband Brent, to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> and how God used that in their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It occurs to me that there are probably listeners\u2014you may not be married to someone in law enforcement\u2014but if you think about people you know in your church, or in your neighborhood, or just people in your sphere of influence, you probably know somebody who is involved in law enforcement. To get a copy of Victoria\u2019s book and give it to them as a gift could be a <em>great<\/em> blessing and a great way to open a door for deeper conversations around spiritual matters. The book is called <em>A CHiP on My Shoulder: How to Love Your Cop with Attitude<\/em>. We\u2019ve got copies of Victoria Newman\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order your copy. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m also thinking\u2014to scholarship a couple, you know, who are in law enforcement\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014give them a scholarship \/ a gift card to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway\u2014again, what a great way to bless that couple. They are in a high-risk occupation when it comes to marital health. To be giving them an opportunity to focus on their marriage and to strengthen their marriage\u2014that\u2019s a great ministry you can have. You can find out more about how to get a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> gift card or get a copy of Victoria\u2019s book\u2014go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us if you have any questions at 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know we\u2019re talking about kind of a specialized area of ministry today when we talk about people in law enforcement, but our goal at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> is to effectively develop all marriages and families. Where there are unique needs and challenges, we want to be available with practical biblical help and hope for every couple. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe believe God\u2019s design for marriage and family is for couples to thrive, and to grow, and to experience joy in the context of what He\u2019s designed. The resources we create \/ the events we host\u2014like the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage giveaway \/ like the <em>Blended &amp; Blessed<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> one-day event that we\u2019re going to be hosting in April that\u2019s going to be livestreamed all around the world\u2014all that we do, here, at FamilyLife\u2014this radio program\u2014all has the same objective and that is to help build stronger marriages and families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you invest in this work, you\u2019re investing in those marriages and families. You\u2019re helping moms and dads figure out how to resolve their issues to stay together and to keep the family intact. We\u2019re grateful for all of you who partner with us in this effort. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a long-time listener\u2014you\u2019ve never made a donation\u2014you can donate easily online today at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about the stress point that you came to in your marriage, Victoria, where you didn\u2019t know if the marriage was going to survive. We\u2019ll hear the details on that tomorrow. Hope all of you can be back with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300157","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300157"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300157"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300157"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300157"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300157"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300157"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300157"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}