{"id":300143,"date":"2018-02-09T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-02-09T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/understanding-freedom\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:19","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:19","slug":"understanding-freedom","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/understanding-freedom\/","title":{"rendered":"Understanding Freedom"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>David Eaton and Melanie Mudge coach parents on how to talk to their kids about true freedom and explain why living without boundaries isn&#8217;t freedom at all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-02-09.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:11","filesize":"24.9M","filesize_raw":"26105807","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[10350,2089,2855],"tags":[4231,4234,4235,4232,2209,4233,4238,4237,4236],"podcast_series":[7192],"cwp_profile":[3539,8815],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300143","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-digital-and-media-choices","category-media-and-entertainment","category-teens","tag-axis","tag-kids-are-leaving-the-faith","tag-leaving-the-faith","tag-next-generation","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-help","tag-screen-generation","tag-technology","tag-teen-culture","podcast_series-parents-teens-and-culture","cwp_profile-david-eaton","cwp_profile-melanie-mudge","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300143\/understanding-freedom","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300143\/understanding-freedom","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"SVpwbViwfc\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/understanding-freedom\/\">Understanding Freedom<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/understanding-freedom\/embed\/#?secret=SVpwbViwfc\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Understanding Freedom&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"SVpwbViwfc\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-02-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-02-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Who is having more influence on your children today?\u2014you as Mom and Dad?\u2014the Bible?\u2014or their peer group? Melanie Mudge says one of those voices is operating on steroids in our day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> Peer pressure is, obviously, super powerful\u2014I mean, we\u2019ve all been there\u2014but even today, it\u2019s even more powerful; because that peer pressure is constantly buzzing in our pocket. It\u2019s not just like\u2014\u201cOh, I go to school; and I get this peer pressure from my friends to look this certain way, or do a certain thing, or be a certain way, or kiss this boy, or\u2026\u201d\u2014whatever. It\u2019s, now, constantly in their pockets. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. How can we help our children care more about what God thinks than about what their peers think? That\u2019s an ongoing struggle; right? We\u2019re going to spend time talking about that today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. There is a classic moment from the history of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. In fact, we\u2019ve played this not long ago. It\u2019s that moment where your daughter was feeling completely trapped in the Rainey household. She felt like Mom and Dad were her jailers. You remember the story; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, do I remember it?! I lived it! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This was your daughter, Rebecca. She was out with a friend\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014Christian friend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and she was complaining about all the rules and all of the boundaries. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In fact, the Christian friend\u2019s father used to work at FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The Christian friend\u2019s daughter said to your daughter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014said: \u201cYou\u2019re just a caged bird. You just need to get the key, and let yourself out of the cage, and be <em>free<\/em>.\u201d Your daughter was like, \u201cYes; that\u2019s what I need!\u201d She said, \u201cI had no idea what that meant, but it just felt so right\u2014that I should be free.\u201d Of course, living in the oppressive Rainey household, we all understand why she felt that way. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was just terrible. We laugh about this today, and it was the saddest act I have ever seen of any childhood play. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She came to you and\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, she was in tears [falsetto voice]: \u201cI just want to\u2014I just feel like a caged bird! I just want out! I want out. You\u2019ve just got me trapped.\u201d Now, she\u2019s a mother to six kids. So, she\u2019s learning about freedom and about how to let the birds out of the cage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And when not to let the birds out of the cage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Exactly! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019ve got a pair of folks, who work at Axis, which is a great ministry that\u2019s been developed over the past decade to address the needs of teenagers\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014helping them connect with their parents\/grandparents. David Eaton and Melanie Mudge join us again on the broadcast. Melanie\/David, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Thanks for having us! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s talk about this subject of freedom. Melanie, we were talking to you about \u201cWhat are the issues today that young people are facing?\u201d You said, \u201cFreedom.\u201d I said, \u201cThat\u2019s kind of an old-fashioned term.\u201d [Laughter] That\u2019s been around for a while; hasn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> It has. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What are you seeing kids struggle with today\u2014teenagers, especially? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s the definition of freedom: \u201cWhat does it mean to be truly free?\u201d Culture is telling them all the time that: \u201cFreedom equals the ability to do whatever I want, whenever I want, as long as it doesn\u2019t hurt anybody else.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014with no boundaries? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> \u2014with no boundaries; yes. \u201cFreedom equals no boundaries.\u201d I think they think that\u2019s what adulthood is too. They can\u2019t wait to get out of the house; because then they can be free, and no boundaries, and do whatever they want; but that\u2019s not the real world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, we all know, even if we don\u2019t want to have consequences for our actions, they are still going to be there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think part of being an adult is realizing there\u2019s no such thing as that kind of freedom. <em>Real<\/em> freedom is freedom from the power of sin in our lives, and it is freedom to live that abundant life; but they are not taught that. They hear this message over and over again from culture\u2014that freedom equals the ability to do whatever you want, whenever you want\u2014and that\u2019s what they believe it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, parents are listening\u2014they are going, \u201cI\u2019m hearing this echo from my kids.\u201d\u00a0 In fact, it\u2019s starting at earlier and earlier ages today, I believe. What would you coach a parent\u2014to do, to say, how to behave \/ how to talk to a child\u2014so they don\u2019t dismiss their desire to be grown up, to be older and responsible? We want them to grow up \/ we want them to be free of our control; but in the process of growing up, they\u2019ve got to make some mistakes. They\u2019ve got to make it while they\u2019re at home so we can coach them how to handle it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> So, I love this G.K. Chesterton quote. He talks about how boundaries are created by God so that good things can run wild. I think, with freedom, there has to be this overarching goal of like: \u201cGod has made the world a certain way. He\u2019s made <em>you<\/em> a certain way. So, I want to see good things run wild in your life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We were talking, earlier, about the <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> resource that FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> developed many years ago. We actually developed a follow-up to that\u2014parents were asking us for something\u2014so, we came up with <em>Passport2Identity<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup>. The beginning of this\u2014this is for 13-\/14-year-old kids and their parents\u2014but the whole premise at the beginning is: \u201cA 14-year-old wants freedom, and Mom and Dad want you to have freedom at the right time. There is a connection between responsibility and freedom. There\u2019s a connection between life management and freedom. So, as you demonstrate, as a young person, that you know how to handle responsibility and how to manage your life well, more freedom will come.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we start with the premise: \u201cYour goal, as a teenager, and our goal, as a parent, is the same. We both want freedom for you. Now, we\u2019ve got to figure out what\u2019s the path from where you are today to where you want to get to.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And if you\u2019ll send in a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for $50, Bob will come to your teenager and say just that. [Laughter] That was masterful, Bob! I was going, \u201cWhere were you when I was raising teenagers?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, the wisdom comes <em>after<\/em> the kids are gone. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, it does! Now: \u201cI have rehearsed the speech so many times.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid, you\u2019ve got a young daughter. You need to listen carefully\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014take notes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014to what he is saying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> I just am taking notes. I love that he also said\u2014is the wisdom comes, oftentimes, in the do over; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> You\u2019re a grandpa now; and so, grandparents have this awesome opportunity to, maybe, fix some things that they did wrong. Oftentimes, when parents\u2014of course, we see this, because we travel and we speak to a lot of parents\u2014is where parents get so like frustrated and uptight of: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cMy daughter keeps asking for freedom and like all this stuff. It\u2019s offensive to me.\u201d Grandpa or Grandma can slip in\u2014they\u2019ve got the long play\u2014they\u2019re not as offended in the <em>now<\/em>, and they can help kind of cultivate that bigger picture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The thing about freedom that paralyzes us, as parents, is the culture is saying life is found in all of these things that we know, as parents, can be enslaving \/ can be damaging. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, when our kids say, \u201cWe want freedom,\u201d we go: \u201cWe\u2019re afraid of what you\u2019re going to go investigate,\u201d or \u201c\u2026where that\u2019s going to take you.\u201d In fact, I heard about a dialogue taking place between some middle school kids recently; and they were talking about gender and sexuality. They were expressing kind of their sense of freedom\u2014what that should look like. One of the kids was saying, \u201cI think I\u2019m probably 70 percent hetero and, maybe, 30 percent gay.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis whole issue of fluidity in gender and sexuality is one of these areas where, when parents think about <em>that<\/em> and freedom, they go: \u201cUh-uh. No; I\u2019m putting my daughter in a convent right now, and my son is going to a monastery.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, I think whenever you hear that, the first thing you need to do is practice your \u201cI\u2019m not shocked,\u201d face\u2014so, just whatever that is. Right now\u2014if you\u2019re driving right now, and you\u2019re hearing this; or you\u2019re at home\u2014just practice that \u201cI\u2019m not shocked,\u201d face; because the next generation\u2014it\u2019s kind of normal where you just grow up and you might feel like there\u2019s this 70 percent \/ 30 percent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we grew up\u2014you know, I\u2019m 34\u2014it was just like, \u201cYou\u2019re a boy,\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019re a girl,\u201d\u2014that was actually a gift that was given to me. It was like those were my options. Now, if you\u2019re on Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, you have over 50 options; or it\u2019s LGBTQAIAA?\u2014you know all of these different options. So, again, this is a byproduct of that idea of freedom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, to come back and say, \u201cHey, God has made us in a certain way so that good things can run wild,\u201d\u2014is really great\u2014I love that you went after that in <em>Passport2Identity<\/em>, because <em>that<\/em> is the question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt used to be all about apologetics. Then, it was all about worldview. Then, it was all about \u201cWhat is your story?\u201d Then, it was all about spiritual formation, and habits, and liturgy. I mean, these are all things that we\u2019ve kind of noticed at Axis over the years. Now, it\u2019s the question of the soul or the question of identity: \u201cWhat does it mean to be human?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the starting point, where I think I have the conversation about the gospel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And it\u2019s not a <em>new<\/em> question, because every 14-year-old who has ever been a 14-year-old has been asking the question: \u201cWhat am I good at?\u201d \u201cHow do I get people to like me?\u201d \u201cWhere do I <em>fit<\/em> in this world?\u201d \u201cWhat am I here for?\u201d All of those questions in middle emerge. People make life-shaping decisions, at the age of 14, based on a quest to understand their identity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And that\u2019s what I want to ask you two to coach parents on\u2014is how to handle peer pressure. Coach parents at understanding how lethal peer pressure really is with their teenager and how they should go about engaging with their teen without feeling like they\u2019re trying to run off all their friends from them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> Peer pressure is obviously super powerful\u2014I mean, we\u2019ve all been there\u2014but even today, it\u2019s even more powerful; because that peer pressure is constantly buzzing in our pocket. It\u2019s not just like\u2014\u201cOh, I go to school; and I get this peer pressure from my friends to look a certain way, or do a certain thing, or be a certain, or kiss this boy or\u2026\u201d\u2014whatever. It\u2019s, now, constantly in their pockets, telling them: \u201cYou need to be this way,\u201d or \u201c\u2026pursue this thing,\u201d\u2014 or whatever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think parents need to understand, first and foremost, whatever peer pressure there was before has now been magnified a hundredfold because of these devices that we have. Then, in order to talk about it with their teens, I think it\u2019s not a matter of just telling them: \u201cHey, your friends are dumb,\u201d or \u201cThey\u2019re 12, and they don\u2019t know better than me,\u201d\u2014because that could be the temptation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014is just kind of be like: \u201cThis is ridiculous. How could you even think that that even makes sense?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut really, it\u2019s looking beneath the surface and saying, \u201cWhy is this pressure so powerful to my kid right now?\u201d Maybe, it\u2019s that pressure to start wearing makeup\u2014that was my thing when I was a teenage girl\u2014was I couldn\u2019t wait until I got to wear makeup and wear name-brand clothing. That was <em>huge<\/em>, because my mom always went to Costco<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and Walmart<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. I was so embarrassed of my non-name-brand shoes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, she [mom] knows \/ she sees from her perspective: \u201cNone of this has any significance. It doesn\u2019t matter,\u201d\u2014but, really, it\u2019s understanding: \u201cWhy is this captivating to my daughter\u2019s heart? Why is this thing so drawing to her? There is a reason why she wants this so badly, and it\u2019s something that\u2019s not going to fulfill her. So, how do I help her see that there is something better to pursue?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Help parents understand, though, what\u2019s happening with the cell phone that\u2019s buzzing in their pocket. I found that really interesting that you would call that peer pressure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost of us, as parents, think about face-to-face peer pressure and getting in a crowd; but it is happening 24\/7. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And it\u2019s Facebook-to-Facebook peer pressure; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> There\u2019s\u2014you\u2019ve got to realize there\u2019s no safe place anymore. There is a job\u2014social media gives you a job, as a student\u2014where you are always on, always performing, always comparing, always feeling less than or hoping that you get likes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of your things\u2014as you were talking about peer pressure, Dennis\u2014is: \u201cHow can you create a safe place as a parent?\u201d It used to be, hopefully, the home was a safe place. You came home from school: [Parent]: \u201cDid you make the baseball team?\u201d \u201cDid the girl like you back?\u201d \u201cDid you pass the test?\u201d [Student]: \u201cAh; here I am. At least, I\u2019m at home; and now, it\u2019s safe.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut now, that you\u2019re home, you have social media lights up. I think an opportunity for parents is to really figure out: \u201cHow do we create these safe moments?\u2014these safe places?\u201d Then, you have to approach it\u2014I think three things that come to my mind are: experience, story, and blessing. You want to realize: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHave you created the right experience in your home, or wherever you\u2019re at, with your son or your daughter, where they feel safe?\u2014where they feel like the conversation can happen?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014where they don\u2019t get the shocked face. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Right; right. Well, yes; so, they say, \u201cHey, I saw two girls making out at school today.\u201d Practice the \u201cI\u2019m not shocked\u201d face so you create the experience, where they feel safe enough to bring that up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second thing is\u2014you\u2019re going to hear things that you didn\u2019t face. There are going to be a lot of times, where you have to remember, \u201cOh, this is what it felt like\u201d; but how do you have that level of curiosity and that interest in <em>their<\/em> story to know: \u201cHow does it really feel like to live in a world with LGBTQAIAA\u2014all these acronyms? How does it really feel to have social media?\u201d So, to have that level of curiosity and <em>listen<\/em> to them is going to make them feel so loved. It\u2019s going to help you understand how to insert the last thing, which is the idea of a blessing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow can you, in conversations\u2014not where you spiritualize things or force things in\u2014but you\u2019re trying to bless their vision of reality and realize: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYes; that really doesn\u2019t lead to life,\u201d or \u201cMan, we really missed out on this,\u201d or \u201cWow! You\u2019re so <em>amazing<\/em> at that. I love how intuitive you are at figuring out that situation at school. I just want to bless that as a part of who you are.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Melanie, I\u2019m thinking back to your Costco tennis shoes. [Laughter] I\u2019m thinking, \u201cYou didn\u2019t really care what tennis shoes you were wearing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Melanie:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwhat you cared was that you had the social approval.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> Correct; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>That\u2019s<\/em> where the mom and dad need to be able to clue in and go: \u201cWhat is the real desire behind what my kids are asking for? What\u2019s the <em>need<\/em> that they\u2019re really expressing?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not that: \u201cI have to have these tennis shoes, because my feet will feel better,\u201d or \u201c\u2026I will perform in an athletic function more efficiently.\u201d It\u2019s because: \u201cIf I go with Costco shoes, I sit at this table at lunch; and if I go with Jordan\u2019s, I sit at the other table at lunch. I want to sit with the cool kids\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> And \u201cI don\u2019t want to be made fun of anymore.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> That was part of it too\u2014especially in middle school\u2014that was the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u201cI don\u2019t feel safe.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cI don\u2019t want to be made fun of.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is what is crazy about these devices\u2014is it used to be just: \u201cWho do you know?\u201d and \u201cThose are the people who can pressure you.\u201d Now, it\u2019s someone in New York City, who wears the coolest clothes, and posts online, and is on Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and Snapchat<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. <em>That<\/em> person can also pressure me to feel not good about myself or that I don\u2019t add up. Peer pressure isn\u2019t even really peers anymore\u2014it\u2019s just <em>anyone\u2019s<\/em> pressure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; I agree. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to go back to something you said, David. You ran through a list, LGBTQAIA\u2014something or other. So, what do all those letters represent? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> We live in a world with\u2014our students are faced with all kinds of gender options. So, LGBTQAIAA\u2014I\u2019m trying to think of them all right now, off the top of my head. So, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Inter-gender, Agender. The last one, I want to\u2014there\u2019s a question mark for Questioning or Queer. The last one is A\u2014which is Ally\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014so that means a straight person, who is an ally of other people who are same-sex attracted. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> You mean Assist-gender straight person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; Assist-gender, which is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> See, now, that\u2019s what we\u2019re talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>David:<\/strong> This is why you sign up for <em>The Culture Translator<\/em>\u2014right?\u2014because it\u2019s going to continue to change \/ it\u2019s going to continue to get longer. You don\u2019t want to spend your time just hunting this stuff down, online. We want to bring that to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A parent needs to understand this; but secondly, a parent has to understand that their kids have a <em>face<\/em> to all these letters\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014all these genders. They\u2019re relating to these kids, as human beings. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> That\u2019s really good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> How do they have convictions and, yet, still love? How would you coach parents to train their kids to have convictions and, yet, still be a person who has compassion, love, and grace toward others? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> This is a <em>super<\/em> complicated conversation. We\u2019ve actually made a conversation kit on gender. We worked with Sean McDowell, Josh McDowell\u2019s kid, and John Stonestreet, as well, to kind of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014because you have to make a <em>larger<\/em> case for gender, sexuality, marriage. You also have to realize: \u201cWhat kind of world do we live in with this idea of freedom?\u201d So, you have to redefine your terms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne term that is <em>really<\/em> big and is really insidious is authenticity. Oftentimes, you say: \u201cI want freedom\u2014freedom to be authentically me. I\u2019ve got to be true to myself. I\u2019ve got to be me. I\u2019ve got to do me.\u201d There\u2019s all these \u201cWhatever floats your boat,\u201d and all these things. Here\u2019s a complicated thought\u2014I think you\u2019re going to love it: \u201cAuthenticity is the new hypocrisy,\u201d \/ \u201cAuthenticity is the new hypocrisy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me unpack that. When you are authentic to a lie \/ when you are authentic to a false story, it is very similar to being a faker or a hypocrite. So, a hypocrite is someone who is acting their way. With this idea of: \u201cI have to be authentic to my sin nature,\u201d \/ \u201cI\u2019ve got to be authentic to my predispositions to anger,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201c\u2026to rage,\u201d \u201c\u2026to alcoholism,\u201d \u201c\u2026to all of these things,\u201d\u2014if you\u2019re being authentic to that, no one says that\u2019s a good thing. \u201cI\u2019ve got to be authentic to my selfishness,\u201d\u2014no; we live in community, and we\u2019re better in community than in isolation\u2014we are <em>made<\/em> for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>So, when someone says, \u201cI\u2019ve got to be authentic,\u201d there\u2019s this sneaky gospel big-picture moment to say, \u201cYou\u2019re being authentic to a world that\u2019s <em>way<\/em> too small.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Kevin DeYoung, in <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em> video series makes the statement\u2014he says, \u201cThat great theologian, Lady Gaga, is teaching, \u2018I was born this way.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He says, \u201cThat\u2019s part right.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> That\u2019s so true; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But he says, \u201cWhat we miss is that we were born one way, but we\u2019re to be born again another way.\u201d That\u2019s the point you\u2019re making. Yes; we\u2014authenticity says, \u201cI\u2019m going to be controlled by my sin nature.\u201d Redemption says, \u201cNo; I\u2019m going to have victory over my sin nature.\u201d That\u2019s the real <em>me<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014is the one who <em>defeats<\/em> my passions and my enslaving, sinful desires. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014because I trust that God loves me, and He has good plans for me, and He has a better world where I\u2019m going to become more fully human. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s the really interesting part that we live in; because it\u2019s all about\u2014in a world of freedom, as Melanie was talking about earlier\u2014it\u2019s all about happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy. The Bible says, \u201cHappiness is great, but it\u2019s secondary to holiness.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHoliness is going to <em>ground<\/em> you. Holiness is going to allow you to enter into the core relationship with God and get that relationship right, first, so that you can have right relationships with others \/ so you can have right relationships with this world. Then, all of a sudden, you realize, \u201cLife is so much more meaningful \/ has so much more depth.\u201d They can handle the evil that seems confusing and insane in certain situations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can just say, in that moment: \u201cYou say you want to be authentic, but your world is just a little too small. There is a bigger, richer narrative for you to live into.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, we live in a culture today where the young people are taking the bait. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe bobber is going under this happiness bait that: \u201cLive for yourself, and you\u2019re going to be happy.\u201d I think you guys pointed out in some of your research that 26 percent of the teenagers are struggling with depression compared to a population number of like 6 percent of adults. This is a group of young people who are being damaged by these choices. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs parents, we must do our job\u2014as parents and grandparents\u2014to be engaged with this generation \/ not allow them to push us out when we need to be in their lives. We need to love them\u2014guide them \/ pick them up just like we did when they got an owie on their knee when they tripped and fell when they were three\u2014help them deal with their owies, as young men and women, because they\u2019re going to have them; and they\u2019re going to have them, later on, as adults. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I\u2019m just grateful to God for you guys\u2014that you are addressing the needs of parents, and teens, and grandparents today so they can better connect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for your ministry at Axis, and I hope you guys will come back and join us again sometime. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> We would love that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, in the meantime, let\u2019s encourage moms and dads to sign up to get <em>The Culture Translator<\/em> that comes out Fridays. You can sign up, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014click the link you see there, and get all signed up to receive this free email each week that will keep you clued in as to what\u2019s going on in the culture in which your teen is living. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have online resources that we\u2019ve created, here, at FamilyLife to help parents and teens through what can be a turbulent season. We\u2019ve got <em>Passport2Purity \/ Passport2Identity<\/em>. Dennis has written some books for parents of teens: <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date \/<\/em> <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em>. What we\u2019re trying to do, at FamilyLife, is create resources to help moms and dads stay on track as you guide your kids through these years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the resources that are available. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can order from us online; or you can call to order\u20141-800-FL-TODAY is our number\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to ask you to pray today for what\u2019s going to be happening this weekend in Montgomery, Alabama; in Norfolk, Virginia; and in Tulsa, Oklahoma. We have three of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways that will be kicking off tonight and be going through the weekend. Of course, our spring season is just now underway. There will be, over the course of the next several months, tens of thousands of couples who will be attending one of these weekend getaways for couples. Our prayer is that, during these weekends, couples will have their thinking realigned when it comes to marriage; and they\u2019ll have the opportunity to spend some one-on-one time, just drawing closer together as a married couple. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is just one of the ways that, as a ministry, we are seeking to effectively develop godly marriages and families. That\u2019s our mission, here, at FamilyLife. Every time you donate to support this ministry, that\u2019s what you\u2019re helping to make happen. In addition to covering the costs of producing and syndicating this program, you\u2019re helping with events we produce, the resources we create, our website, and all that we make available online. You make that happen when you donate to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are a long-time listener and have never made a donation, or if it\u2019s been a while since you\u2019ve pitched in to help support this ministry, I want to challenge you to go, today, to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Make an online donation; or call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY; or you can mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, PO \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBox 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend this weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend; and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we were going to talk about some of the questions that people have about love, and romance, intimacy in marriage, and how to answer those questions. Dr. Juli Slattery will be here with us. We hope you can be with us as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:27:11"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.9M"],"filesize_raw":["26105807"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300143.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300143.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Eaton and Melanie Mudge coach parents on how to talk to their kids about true freedom and explain why living without boundaries isn't freedom at all.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-02-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Who is having more influence on your children today?\u2014you as Mom and Dad?\u2014the Bible?\u2014or their peer group? Melanie Mudge says one of those voices is operating on steroids in our day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> Peer pressure is, obviously, super powerful\u2014I mean, we\u2019ve all been there\u2014but even today, it\u2019s even more powerful; because that peer pressure is constantly buzzing in our pocket. It\u2019s not just like\u2014\u201cOh, I go to school; and I get this peer pressure from my friends to look this certain way, or do a certain thing, or be a certain way, or kiss this boy, or\u2026\u201d\u2014whatever. It\u2019s, now, constantly in their pockets. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. How can we help our children care more about what God thinks than about what their peers think? That\u2019s an ongoing struggle; right? We\u2019re going to spend time talking about that today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. There is a classic moment from the history of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. In fact, we\u2019ve played this not long ago. It\u2019s that moment where your daughter was feeling completely trapped in the Rainey household. She felt like Mom and Dad were her jailers. You remember the story; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, do I remember it?! I lived it! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This was your daughter, Rebecca. She was out with a friend\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014Christian friend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and she was complaining about all the rules and all of the boundaries. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In fact, the Christian friend\u2019s father used to work at FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The Christian friend\u2019s daughter said to your daughter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014said: \u201cYou\u2019re just a caged bird. You just need to get the key, and let yourself out of the cage, and be <em>free<\/em>.\u201d Your daughter was like, \u201cYes; that\u2019s what I need!\u201d She said, \u201cI had no idea what that meant, but it just felt so right\u2014that I should be free.\u201d Of course, living in the oppressive Rainey household, we all understand why she felt that way. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was just terrible. We laugh about this today, and it was the saddest act I have ever seen of any childhood play. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She came to you and\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, she was in tears [falsetto voice]: \u201cI just want to\u2014I just feel like a caged bird! I just want out! I want out. You\u2019ve just got me trapped.\u201d Now, she\u2019s a mother to six kids. So, she\u2019s learning about freedom and about how to let the birds out of the cage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And when not to let the birds out of the cage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Exactly! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019ve got a pair of folks, who work at Axis, which is a great ministry that\u2019s been developed over the past decade to address the needs of teenagers\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014helping them connect with their parents\/grandparents. David Eaton and Melanie Mudge join us again on the broadcast. Melanie\/David, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Thanks for having us! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s talk about this subject of freedom. Melanie, we were talking to you about \u201cWhat are the issues today that young people are facing?\u201d You said, \u201cFreedom.\u201d I said, \u201cThat\u2019s kind of an old-fashioned term.\u201d [Laughter] That\u2019s been around for a while; hasn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> It has. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What are you seeing kids struggle with today\u2014teenagers, especially? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s the definition of freedom: \u201cWhat does it mean to be truly free?\u201d Culture is telling them all the time that: \u201cFreedom equals the ability to do whatever I want, whenever I want, as long as it doesn\u2019t hurt anybody else.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014with no boundaries? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> \u2014with no boundaries; yes. \u201cFreedom equals no boundaries.\u201d I think they think that\u2019s what adulthood is too. They can\u2019t wait to get out of the house; because then they can be free, and no boundaries, and do whatever they want; but that\u2019s not the real world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, we all know, even if we don\u2019t want to have consequences for our actions, they are still going to be there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think part of being an adult is realizing there\u2019s no such thing as that kind of freedom. <em>Real<\/em> freedom is freedom from the power of sin in our lives, and it is freedom to live that abundant life; but they are not taught that. They hear this message over and over again from culture\u2014that freedom equals the ability to do whatever you want, whenever you want\u2014and that\u2019s what they believe it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, parents are listening\u2014they are going, \u201cI\u2019m hearing this echo from my kids.\u201d\u00a0 In fact, it\u2019s starting at earlier and earlier ages today, I believe. What would you coach a parent\u2014to do, to say, how to behave \/ how to talk to a child\u2014so they don\u2019t dismiss their desire to be grown up, to be older and responsible? We want them to grow up \/ we want them to be free of our control; but in the process of growing up, they\u2019ve got to make some mistakes. They\u2019ve got to make it while they\u2019re at home so we can coach them how to handle it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> So, I love this G.K. Chesterton quote. He talks about how boundaries are created by God so that good things can run wild. I think, with freedom, there has to be this overarching goal of like: \u201cGod has made the world a certain way. He\u2019s made <em>you<\/em> a certain way. So, I want to see good things run wild in your life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We were talking, earlier, about the <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> resource that FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> developed many years ago. We actually developed a follow-up to that\u2014parents were asking us for something\u2014so, we came up with <em>Passport2Identity<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup>. The beginning of this\u2014this is for 13-\/14-year-old kids and their parents\u2014but the whole premise at the beginning is: \u201cA 14-year-old wants freedom, and Mom and Dad want you to have freedom at the right time. There is a connection between responsibility and freedom. There\u2019s a connection between life management and freedom. So, as you demonstrate, as a young person, that you know how to handle responsibility and how to manage your life well, more freedom will come.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we start with the premise: \u201cYour goal, as a teenager, and our goal, as a parent, is the same. We both want freedom for you. Now, we\u2019ve got to figure out what\u2019s the path from where you are today to where you want to get to.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And if you\u2019ll send in a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for $50, Bob will come to your teenager and say just that. [Laughter] That was masterful, Bob! I was going, \u201cWhere were you when I was raising teenagers?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, the wisdom comes <em>after<\/em> the kids are gone. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, it does! Now: \u201cI have rehearsed the speech so many times.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid, you\u2019ve got a young daughter. You need to listen carefully\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014take notes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014to what he is saying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> I just am taking notes. I love that he also said\u2014is the wisdom comes, oftentimes, in the do over; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> You\u2019re a grandpa now; and so, grandparents have this awesome opportunity to, maybe, fix some things that they did wrong. Oftentimes, when parents\u2014of course, we see this, because we travel and we speak to a lot of parents\u2014is where parents get so like frustrated and uptight of: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cMy daughter keeps asking for freedom and like all this stuff. It\u2019s offensive to me.\u201d Grandpa or Grandma can slip in\u2014they\u2019ve got the long play\u2014they\u2019re not as offended in the <em>now<\/em>, and they can help kind of cultivate that bigger picture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The thing about freedom that paralyzes us, as parents, is the culture is saying life is found in all of these things that we know, as parents, can be enslaving \/ can be damaging. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, when our kids say, \u201cWe want freedom,\u201d we go: \u201cWe\u2019re afraid of what you\u2019re going to go investigate,\u201d or \u201c\u2026where that\u2019s going to take you.\u201d In fact, I heard about a dialogue taking place between some middle school kids recently; and they were talking about gender and sexuality. They were expressing kind of their sense of freedom\u2014what that should look like. One of the kids was saying, \u201cI think I\u2019m probably 70 percent hetero and, maybe, 30 percent gay.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis whole issue of fluidity in gender and sexuality is one of these areas where, when parents think about <em>that<\/em> and freedom, they go: \u201cUh-uh. No; I\u2019m putting my daughter in a convent right now, and my son is going to a monastery.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, I think whenever you hear that, the first thing you need to do is practice your \u201cI\u2019m not shocked,\u201d face\u2014so, just whatever that is. Right now\u2014if you\u2019re driving right now, and you\u2019re hearing this; or you\u2019re at home\u2014just practice that \u201cI\u2019m not shocked,\u201d face; because the next generation\u2014it\u2019s kind of normal where you just grow up and you might feel like there\u2019s this 70 percent \/ 30 percent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we grew up\u2014you know, I\u2019m 34\u2014it was just like, \u201cYou\u2019re a boy,\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019re a girl,\u201d\u2014that was actually a gift that was given to me. It was like those were my options. Now, if you\u2019re on Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, you have over 50 options; or it\u2019s LGBTQAIAA?\u2014you know all of these different options. So, again, this is a byproduct of that idea of freedom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, to come back and say, \u201cHey, God has made us in a certain way so that good things can run wild,\u201d\u2014is really great\u2014I love that you went after that in <em>Passport2Identity<\/em>, because <em>that<\/em> is the question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt used to be all about apologetics. Then, it was all about worldview. Then, it was all about \u201cWhat is your story?\u201d Then, it was all about spiritual formation, and habits, and liturgy. I mean, these are all things that we\u2019ve kind of noticed at Axis over the years. Now, it\u2019s the question of the soul or the question of identity: \u201cWhat does it mean to be human?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the starting point, where I think I have the conversation about the gospel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And it\u2019s not a <em>new<\/em> question, because every 14-year-old who has ever been a 14-year-old has been asking the question: \u201cWhat am I good at?\u201d \u201cHow do I get people to like me?\u201d \u201cWhere do I <em>fit<\/em> in this world?\u201d \u201cWhat am I here for?\u201d All of those questions in middle emerge. People make life-shaping decisions, at the age of 14, based on a quest to understand their identity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And that\u2019s what I want to ask you two to coach parents on\u2014is how to handle peer pressure. Coach parents at understanding how lethal peer pressure really is with their teenager and how they should go about engaging with their teen without feeling like they\u2019re trying to run off all their friends from them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> Peer pressure is obviously super powerful\u2014I mean, we\u2019ve all been there\u2014but even today, it\u2019s even more powerful; because that peer pressure is constantly buzzing in our pocket. It\u2019s not just like\u2014\u201cOh, I go to school; and I get this peer pressure from my friends to look a certain way, or do a certain thing, or be a certain, or kiss this boy or\u2026\u201d\u2014whatever. It\u2019s, now, constantly in their pockets, telling them: \u201cYou need to be this way,\u201d or \u201c\u2026pursue this thing,\u201d\u2014 or whatever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think parents need to understand, first and foremost, whatever peer pressure there was before has now been magnified a hundredfold because of these devices that we have. Then, in order to talk about it with their teens, I think it\u2019s not a matter of just telling them: \u201cHey, your friends are dumb,\u201d or \u201cThey\u2019re 12, and they don\u2019t know better than me,\u201d\u2014because that could be the temptation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014is just kind of be like: \u201cThis is ridiculous. How could you even think that that even makes sense?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut really, it\u2019s looking beneath the surface and saying, \u201cWhy is this pressure so powerful to my kid right now?\u201d Maybe, it\u2019s that pressure to start wearing makeup\u2014that was my thing when I was a teenage girl\u2014was I couldn\u2019t wait until I got to wear makeup and wear name-brand clothing. That was <em>huge<\/em>, because my mom always went to Costco<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and Walmart<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. I was so embarrassed of my non-name-brand shoes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, she [mom] knows \/ she sees from her perspective: \u201cNone of this has any significance. It doesn\u2019t matter,\u201d\u2014but, really, it\u2019s understanding: \u201cWhy is this captivating to my daughter\u2019s heart? Why is this thing so drawing to her? There is a reason why she wants this so badly, and it\u2019s something that\u2019s not going to fulfill her. So, how do I help her see that there is something better to pursue?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Help parents understand, though, what\u2019s happening with the cell phone that\u2019s buzzing in their pocket. I found that really interesting that you would call that peer pressure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost of us, as parents, think about face-to-face peer pressure and getting in a crowd; but it is happening 24\/7. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And it\u2019s Facebook-to-Facebook peer pressure; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> There\u2019s\u2014you\u2019ve got to realize there\u2019s no safe place anymore. There is a job\u2014social media gives you a job, as a student\u2014where you are always on, always performing, always comparing, always feeling less than or hoping that you get likes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of your things\u2014as you were talking about peer pressure, Dennis\u2014is: \u201cHow can you create a safe place as a parent?\u201d It used to be, hopefully, the home was a safe place. You came home from school: [Parent]: \u201cDid you make the baseball team?\u201d \u201cDid the girl like you back?\u201d \u201cDid you pass the test?\u201d [Student]: \u201cAh; here I am. At least, I\u2019m at home; and now, it\u2019s safe.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut now, that you\u2019re home, you have social media lights up. I think an opportunity for parents is to really figure out: \u201cHow do we create these safe moments?\u2014these safe places?\u201d Then, you have to approach it\u2014I think three things that come to my mind are: experience, story, and blessing. You want to realize: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHave you created the right experience in your home, or wherever you\u2019re at, with your son or your daughter, where they feel safe?\u2014where they feel like the conversation can happen?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014where they don\u2019t get the shocked face. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Right; right. Well, yes; so, they say, \u201cHey, I saw two girls making out at school today.\u201d Practice the \u201cI\u2019m not shocked\u201d face so you create the experience, where they feel safe enough to bring that up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second thing is\u2014you\u2019re going to hear things that you didn\u2019t face. There are going to be a lot of times, where you have to remember, \u201cOh, this is what it felt like\u201d; but how do you have that level of curiosity and that interest in <em>their<\/em> story to know: \u201cHow does it really feel like to live in a world with LGBTQAIAA\u2014all these acronyms? How does it really feel to have social media?\u201d So, to have that level of curiosity and <em>listen<\/em> to them is going to make them feel so loved. It\u2019s going to help you understand how to insert the last thing, which is the idea of a blessing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow can you, in conversations\u2014not where you spiritualize things or force things in\u2014but you\u2019re trying to bless their vision of reality and realize: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYes; that really doesn\u2019t lead to life,\u201d or \u201cMan, we really missed out on this,\u201d or \u201cWow! You\u2019re so <em>amazing<\/em> at that. I love how intuitive you are at figuring out that situation at school. I just want to bless that as a part of who you are.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Melanie, I\u2019m thinking back to your Costco tennis shoes. [Laughter] I\u2019m thinking, \u201cYou didn\u2019t really care what tennis shoes you were wearing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Melanie:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwhat you cared was that you had the social approval.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> Correct; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>That\u2019s<\/em> where the mom and dad need to be able to clue in and go: \u201cWhat is the real desire behind what my kids are asking for? What\u2019s the <em>need<\/em> that they\u2019re really expressing?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not that: \u201cI have to have these tennis shoes, because my feet will feel better,\u201d or \u201c\u2026I will perform in an athletic function more efficiently.\u201d It\u2019s because: \u201cIf I go with Costco shoes, I sit at this table at lunch; and if I go with Jordan\u2019s, I sit at the other table at lunch. I want to sit with the cool kids\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> And \u201cI don\u2019t want to be made fun of anymore.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> That was part of it too\u2014especially in middle school\u2014that was the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u201cI don\u2019t feel safe.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cI don\u2019t want to be made fun of.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is what is crazy about these devices\u2014is it used to be just: \u201cWho do you know?\u201d and \u201cThose are the people who can pressure you.\u201d Now, it\u2019s someone in New York City, who wears the coolest clothes, and posts online, and is on Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and Snapchat<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. <em>That<\/em> person can also pressure me to feel not good about myself or that I don\u2019t add up. Peer pressure isn\u2019t even really peers anymore\u2014it\u2019s just <em>anyone\u2019s<\/em> pressure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; I agree. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to go back to something you said, David. You ran through a list, LGBTQAIA\u2014something or other. So, what do all those letters represent? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> We live in a world with\u2014our students are faced with all kinds of gender options. So, LGBTQAIAA\u2014I\u2019m trying to think of them all right now, off the top of my head. So, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Inter-gender, Agender. The last one, I want to\u2014there\u2019s a question mark for Questioning or Queer. The last one is A\u2014which is Ally\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014so that means a straight person, who is an ally of other people who are same-sex attracted. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> You mean Assist-gender straight person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; Assist-gender, which is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> See, now, that\u2019s what we\u2019re talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>David:<\/strong> This is why you sign up for <em>The Culture Translator<\/em>\u2014right?\u2014because it\u2019s going to continue to change \/ it\u2019s going to continue to get longer. You don\u2019t want to spend your time just hunting this stuff down, online. We want to bring that to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A parent needs to understand this; but secondly, a parent has to understand that their kids have a <em>face<\/em> to all these letters\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014all these genders. They\u2019re relating to these kids, as human beings. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> That\u2019s really good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> How do they have convictions and, yet, still love? How would you coach parents to train their kids to have convictions and, yet, still be a person who has compassion, love, and grace toward others? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> This is a <em>super<\/em> complicated conversation. We\u2019ve actually made a conversation kit on gender. We worked with Sean McDowell, Josh McDowell\u2019s kid, and John Stonestreet, as well, to kind of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014because you have to make a <em>larger<\/em> case for gender, sexuality, marriage. You also have to realize: \u201cWhat kind of world do we live in with this idea of freedom?\u201d So, you have to redefine your terms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne term that is <em>really<\/em> big and is really insidious is authenticity. Oftentimes, you say: \u201cI want freedom\u2014freedom to be authentically me. I\u2019ve got to be true to myself. I\u2019ve got to be me. I\u2019ve got to do me.\u201d There\u2019s all these \u201cWhatever floats your boat,\u201d and all these things. Here\u2019s a complicated thought\u2014I think you\u2019re going to love it: \u201cAuthenticity is the new hypocrisy,\u201d \/ \u201cAuthenticity is the new hypocrisy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me unpack that. When you are authentic to a lie \/ when you are authentic to a false story, it is very similar to being a faker or a hypocrite. So, a hypocrite is someone who is acting their way. With this idea of: \u201cI have to be authentic to my sin nature,\u201d \/ \u201cI\u2019ve got to be authentic to my predispositions to anger,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201c\u2026to rage,\u201d \u201c\u2026to alcoholism,\u201d \u201c\u2026to all of these things,\u201d\u2014if you\u2019re being authentic to that, no one says that\u2019s a good thing. \u201cI\u2019ve got to be authentic to my selfishness,\u201d\u2014no; we live in community, and we\u2019re better in community than in isolation\u2014we are <em>made<\/em> for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>So, when someone says, \u201cI\u2019ve got to be authentic,\u201d there\u2019s this sneaky gospel big-picture moment to say, \u201cYou\u2019re being authentic to a world that\u2019s <em>way<\/em> too small.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Kevin DeYoung, in <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em> video series makes the statement\u2014he says, \u201cThat great theologian, Lady Gaga, is teaching, \u2018I was born this way.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melanie:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He says, \u201cThat\u2019s part right.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> That\u2019s so true; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But he says, \u201cWhat we miss is that we were born one way, but we\u2019re to be born again another way.\u201d That\u2019s the point you\u2019re making. Yes; we\u2014authenticity says, \u201cI\u2019m going to be controlled by my sin nature.\u201d Redemption says, \u201cNo; I\u2019m going to have victory over my sin nature.\u201d That\u2019s the real <em>me<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014is the one who <em>defeats<\/em> my passions and my enslaving, sinful desires. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014because I trust that God loves me, and He has good plans for me, and He has a better world where I\u2019m going to become more fully human. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s the really interesting part that we live in; because it\u2019s all about\u2014in a world of freedom, as Melanie was talking about earlier\u2014it\u2019s all about happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy. The Bible says, \u201cHappiness is great, but it\u2019s secondary to holiness.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHoliness is going to <em>ground<\/em> you. Holiness is going to allow you to enter into the core relationship with God and get that relationship right, first, so that you can have right relationships with others \/ so you can have right relationships with this world. Then, all of a sudden, you realize, \u201cLife is so much more meaningful \/ has so much more depth.\u201d They can handle the evil that seems confusing and insane in certain situations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can just say, in that moment: \u201cYou say you want to be authentic, but your world is just a little too small. There is a bigger, richer narrative for you to live into.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, we live in a culture today where the young people are taking the bait. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe bobber is going under this happiness bait that: \u201cLive for yourself, and you\u2019re going to be happy.\u201d I think you guys pointed out in some of your research that 26 percent of the teenagers are struggling with depression compared to a population number of like 6 percent of adults. This is a group of young people who are being damaged by these choices. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs parents, we must do our job\u2014as parents and grandparents\u2014to be engaged with this generation \/ not allow them to push us out when we need to be in their lives. We need to love them\u2014guide them \/ pick them up just like we did when they got an owie on their knee when they tripped and fell when they were three\u2014help them deal with their owies, as young men and women, because they\u2019re going to have them; and they\u2019re going to have them, later on, as adults. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I\u2019m just grateful to God for you guys\u2014that you are addressing the needs of parents, and teens, and grandparents today so they can better connect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for your ministry at Axis, and I hope you guys will come back and join us again sometime. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> We would love that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, in the meantime, let\u2019s encourage moms and dads to sign up to get <em>The Culture Translator<\/em> that comes out Fridays. You can sign up, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014click the link you see there, and get all signed up to receive this free email each week that will keep you clued in as to what\u2019s going on in the culture in which your teen is living. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have online resources that we\u2019ve created, here, at FamilyLife to help parents and teens through what can be a turbulent season. We\u2019ve got <em>Passport2Purity \/ Passport2Identity<\/em>. Dennis has written some books for parents of teens: <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date \/<\/em> <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em>. What we\u2019re trying to do, at FamilyLife, is create resources to help moms and dads stay on track as you guide your kids through these years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the resources that are available. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can order from us online; or you can call to order\u20141-800-FL-TODAY is our number\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to ask you to pray today for what\u2019s going to be happening this weekend in Montgomery, Alabama; in Norfolk, Virginia; and in Tulsa, Oklahoma. We have three of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways that will be kicking off tonight and be going through the weekend. Of course, our spring season is just now underway. There will be, over the course of the next several months, tens of thousands of couples who will be attending one of these weekend getaways for couples. Our prayer is that, during these weekends, couples will have their thinking realigned when it comes to marriage; and they\u2019ll have the opportunity to spend some one-on-one time, just drawing closer together as a married couple. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is just one of the ways that, as a ministry, we are seeking to effectively develop godly marriages and families. That\u2019s our mission, here, at FamilyLife. Every time you donate to support this ministry, that\u2019s what you\u2019re helping to make happen. In addition to covering the costs of producing and syndicating this program, you\u2019re helping with events we produce, the resources we create, our website, and all that we make available online. You make that happen when you donate to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are a long-time listener and have never made a donation, or if it\u2019s been a while since you\u2019ve pitched in to help support this ministry, I want to challenge you to go, today, to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Make an online donation; or call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY; or you can mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, PO \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBox 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend this weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend; and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we were going to talk about some of the questions that people have about love, and romance, intimacy in marriage, and how to answer those questions. Dr. Juli Slattery will be here with us. We hope you can be with us as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300143","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300143"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300143"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300143"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300143"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300143"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300143"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300143"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}