{"id":300109,"date":"2018-01-09T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-01-09T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/walking-by-faith-not-by-sight\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:18","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:18","slug":"walking-by-faith-not-by-sight","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/walking-by-faith-not-by-sight\/","title":{"rendered":"Walking by Faith, Not by Sight"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Life is often filled with unexpected turns. Lacey Buchanan talks honestly about the challenges she and her husband have faced since welcoming the birth of their first son, Christian, who was born blind.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-01-09.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:17","filesize":"24.06M","filesize_raw":"25231104","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809,2860,2090],"tags":[4178,4179,4177,4123],"podcast_series":[7183],"cwp_profile":[8811],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300109","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","category-hardship-and-suffering","category-special-needs-child","tag-disabilities","tag-parenting-a-special-needs-child","tag-special-needs","tag-trials","podcast_series-through-the-eyes-of-hope","cwp_profile-lacey-buchanan","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300109\/walking-by-faith-not-by-sight","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300109\/walking-by-faith-not-by-sight","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"DLulxmP7YT\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/walking-by-faith-not-by-sight\/\">Walking by Faith, Not by Sight<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/walking-by-faith-not-by-sight\/embed\/#?secret=DLulxmP7YT\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Walking by Faith, Not by Sight&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"DLulxmP7YT\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-01-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-01-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When Chris and Lacey Buchanan\u2019s son, Christian, was born with no eyes, what followed was stressful for both mom and dad\u2014and, ultimately, put a strain on their marriage\u2014a strain that had them contemplating throwing in the towel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> The biggest thing that I feel like I forgot sometimes, in the midst of those moments when we were facing divorce, is how much bigger God was than my problems. I always felt like, in those moments: \u201cGod cannot possibly fix this mess,\u201d\u2014like our mess was so much bigger than God; right? And how silly is that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I was finally able to step back, I could realize God is so much bigger than any mess I make; and He loves me enough to help me through it. I feel like\u2014a lot of times, people look at their marriage and they think: \u201cThere is no way that this can ever be fixed. It\u2019s too far gone. It\u2019s\u2026\u201d\u2014you know. God is bigger\u2014He\u2019s so much bigger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, January 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Lacey Buchanan joins us today to share about how God ultimately did a turn-around in her marriage after the birth of her son, Christian. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. All of us have moments in life where we get on a path that we hadn\u2019t anticipated\u2014one we wouldn\u2019t have picked for ourselves. But it seems like it\u2019s a part of God\u2019s design in our lives to put us on a few of those paths and to say: \u201cTrust Me. I\u2019ll get you through this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, I\u2019m thinking, as you say that, Bob<strong>, <\/strong>we just\u2014earlier this year\u2014celebrated my granddaughter, Molly\u2019s, 10<sup>th<\/sup> birthday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those listeners who haven\u2019t had the chance to hear that story, Molly was born to our daughter, Rebecca, and her husband Jake, and only lived seven days. On her gravestone is a statement we found on a gravestone in England some 12 months before Molly was even born. Here\u2019s what it said\u2014just to what Bob\u2019s talking about\u2014it says: \u201cWe cannot, Lord, Thy purpose see; but all is well that\u2019s done by Thee.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can\u2019t always see the purposes \/ we don\u2019t know what God\u2019s up to; but Bob, as you just said, as you go through life and after you\u2019ve lived a few decades of life, you realize you\u2019re going to go though some seasons of suffering \/ some serious trials. We have a guest with us today who has had, I don\u2019t want to say, \u201c\u2026your fair share\u201d\u2014you may have made up for some other people here, Lacey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLacey Buchanan, who is the author of <em>Through the Eyes of Hope, <\/em>joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, Lacey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The subtitle of this book is\u2014and this is just a good title\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I love this sub-title.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014just a good sub-title regardless: <em>Love More, Worry Less, and See God in the Midst of Your Adversity<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ve had a chance to put that to practice. You and your husband had been married a couple of years when you found out you were going to have a baby. In the middle of the pregnancy, the doctors told you there was a fetal abnormality\u2014didn\u2019t know what that was\u2014an anomaly they said. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLater, you learned that your son would have a cleft lip and palette. But it wasn\u2019t until he was born that you realized that the cleft lip and palette extended all the way up to his eyes\u2014he was born blind. In fact, the doctors worked in the first few days of his life to kind of figure out what his condition was. It was on Day Four that the doctor came in and reported to you. What did he say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> My husband was in the room, alone, with my son\u2014I had stepped out for just a few moments. So the doctor comes in, I\u2019m told\u2014doesn\u2019t ask where I\u2019m at \/ doesn\u2019t ask for me to come in so that he can deliver the news to both of us\u2014and sort of walks in to my husband\u2014it\u2019s late at night\u2014nine\/ten pm. We\u2019ve watched our son go through surgery\u2014our four-day-old child go through surgery earlier that day\u2014we are mentally, physically, emotionally <em>drained<\/em> at this point. He walks into my husband and says: \u201cYour son is blind. Sorry,\u201d and walks out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the time I get back to the room, my husband is sitting there, sobbing. I check on the baby first\u2014like: \u201cHas something happened? What\u2019s going on? Is everything okay?\u201d and, you know, Christian\u2019s fine. That\u2019s when my husband tells me what had happened. My first thought was: \u201cHe couldn\u2019t even wait until I was back in the room so that we could be together?\u201d so he didn\u2019t have to\u2014you know, my husband had to sort of take the brunt of that, alone, by himself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What were you thinking, as your husband was sobbing and was saying he\u2019s blind. You had seen his face\u2014that had to have dawned on you as well. How did you process that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> It was pretty much just devastation at first. We sort of knew, by looking at him, that he was blind. It was one of those things\u2014we were just holding out until the doctors could tell us something \/ could confirm something for us. That news\u2014and I think delivered so callously to us\u2014we were overwhelmed with \/ immediately overwhelmed with: \u201cThis four-day-old baby\u2014and here is the rest of his life we\u2019re having to contend with.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tImmediately, there in that hospital room, his whole life was in front of us. We\u2019re thinking: \u201cWhat are we going to do? How do we raise a child who\u2019s blind? How do we raise a child with these medical needs? What is Christian\u2019s quality of life going to be like?\u201d because, of course, we wanted a good quality of life for this child. I feel like the news of his blindness being delivered so callously\u2014it almost felt like as if the doctor was speaking to his quality of life as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe took that to heart at first\u2014we were so young \/ first-time parents. There was no manual on parenting we could read ahead of time. We were devastated to <em>know<\/em> that Christian\u2019s condition was this serious\u2014that this is what he was facing\u2014and we had <em>no<\/em> idea what we were going to do about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Usually, when a person or a couple faces circumstances like this, there has to be a time, as you process through the realities of this and think on down the road, where you become angry. Did you get angry? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Oh, absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And how long did it take you to begin to express that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes! I was angry \/ there was a time of anger. I think it built up and peaked right about when Christian was four months old. You know, we had been going to the hospital\u2014he was in the NICU for about a month\u2014and it was a really hard NICU stay. He had surgery while he was there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was trying to work a full-time job. My husband was working a full-time job. I was going to law school still in the evenings\u2014I didn\u2019t get a break because I had a baby. Here I am\u2014trying to get my child to these specialists. He had three to six appointments a week an hour away from our home. I\u2019m trying to balance all of this\u2014I mean, I was so overwhelmed; I felt like I was drowning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen he was three months old, he had a second surgery. I was totally mentally unprepared for it. When he had that surgery, it was <em>the<\/em> hardest surgery he\u2019s ever had. I sat in the hospital room, and I listened to his monitors beep. I was waiting for his heart to stop beating after this surgery\u2014it was that bad. I sat there, and I just remember the beeping in my head. Every beat meant a heartbeat. I\u2019m sitting here, waiting for it to stop. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m talking to God and I\u2019m like: \u201cGod, I can\u2019t do this for the rest of my life. I love this child, and I want to do whatever I have to do for him. We can\u2019t keep going through this.\u201d You know, Christian was facing multiple more surgeries\u2014I\u2019m like: \u201cHow are we ever going to get through this?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m thinking: \u201cGod, what are You doing? Why are You putting us through this?\u201d\u2014you know?\u2014like I\u2019ve been going to church my whole life; I was leading praise and worship; I was teaching Sunday school classes. You know, we were doing it right and \u201cThis innocent child\u2014what has he done?\u201d I was so <em>angry<\/em> at God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Did you share that anger with Chris?\u2014or was this more of a private shaking your fist?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> I shared some of it with Chris. I probably\u2014more than telling Chris how angry I was at God\u2014I was probably lashing out at him as well \/ you know, taking my frustrations out on him as well. He knew I was angry, for sure. We were both sort of just in a state of limbo\u2014like: \u201cWhat do we do?\u201d Communication wasn\u2019t good\u2014I mean, how do you even communicate during this time? You know, we were struggling to even breathe some days\u2014it felt like. Talking was just exerting more energy we didn\u2019t even have. So, yes, he knew; I don\u2019t think we ever sat down and talked about it like we should have, honestly; but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did all of this drive a wedge in your marriage relationship?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey: <\/strong>It did; yes. It did for a long time, and we both handled it differently too. I was the protective mama bear\u2014I mean, \u201cI would fight you for my child.\u201d You know, \u201cI\u2019m going to protect him.\u201d And the difficulties that I was having\u2014Chris wasn\u2019t at the appointments with me with the doctors, because he was having to work. I was dealing with these doctors, who were, you know, sometimes less than nice. Here I am, already emotionally a mess, so my response to them was to start retaliating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cWhatever it takes to fix my son\u2014you got to do it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> \u201cJust do it!! Just do it!\u201d\u2014yes; yes; and \u201cStop being mean about it! Just do your job.\u201d So that built up too. I was just\u2014I was ready to fight: \u201cIf I need to fight you for my child, I will.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChris sort of dealt with it by just burying his head in his work\u2014I mean, he was working as much as he could. For him, it was sort of \u201cout of sight \/ out of mind\u201d\u2014\u201cIf I\u2019m not around it, I don\u2019t have to deal with it.\u201d It\u2019s much easier to sort of step back\u2014he handed it to me\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it was sort of like: \u201cYou deal with it, and I\u2019m going to go work; because I\u2019m still providing for the family. I\u2019m still taking care of my responsibilities over here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI felt abandoned; because: \u201cLike, hey, I need you to step up. I need your help; I\u2019m drowning here.\u201d In his own way, he\u2019s over here, drowning as well. He\u2019s thinking: \u201cI can\u2019t help you. I can\u2019t help myself!\u201d\u2014you know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How did you guys recognize that this was going on?\u2014and get to a point where you can look at each other and say: \u201cLook, we got to get on the same page. We got to support each other.\u201d How did that process work for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> It took <em>years<\/em>; honestly. It wasn\u2019t like an easy quick fix. I feel like\u2014a lot of times, it\u2019s expected\u2014like: \u201cOh, you can just pray a couple times and God\u2019s going to fix your marriage.\u201d God didn\u2019t fix our marriage\u2014I think He fixed us!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> And He\u2019s still fixing\u2014not fixing and He\u2019s done\u2014He\u2019s so not done with us. [Laughter] Yes; it took <em>years<\/em> of us sort of realizing our own responsibility in damaging our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we had to step up\u2014it was hard to take responsibility and say: \u201cI really screwed up right here. I want to reconcile,\u201d and sort of learning to put ourselves aside. You know, it was sort of selfish [of] me to expect so much of Chris, and it was selfish [of] him to sort of run. We had to own up and \u2018fess up to our own selfishness and realize that \u201cWe\u2019ve got to sort of die to ourselves a little bit more here if we are going to get this right.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s an on-going process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> It never stops!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want to make two points here. Number one, men and women process suffering like this differently. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And different isn\u2019t wrong\u2014it\u2019s just different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you\u2019ve got to respect the way the other person is dealing with it. You carried this little boy in your womb for nine months; and here\u2019s Chris, off to the side\u2014he didn\u2019t have those conversations with his son like you did, late at night when you said he was doing tumbling acts in your tummy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA second thing that I want to point out\u2014that you\u2019re really demonstrating here\u2014a lot of marriages don\u2019t make it. It\u2019s something like 60 percent of all marriages\u2014where there is a death of a child or the birth of a child with major handicap issues\u2014don\u2019t last five years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You understand, uniquely, why that\u2019s the case. But your covenant \/ your commitment to each other superseded even your trials at this point. It was your foundation and your trust in God to be able to make it through this, as a couple. Did either one of you ever toss the \u201cD\u201d-word out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Oh! Absolutely! When you said our covenant to each other\u2014I would even go so far as to say there were times when that didn\u2019t even matter to us. It really was more our commitment to God. Sometimes, that was what we held onto; because we were so done with each other that we were ready to throw that covenant out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, it was\u2014I mean, we were facing divorce at one point; you know. I mean, I was at a point where\u2014if somebody said, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d\u2014I\u2019d say, \u201cWell, we\u2019re probably getting divorced here in the next few months\u201d; you know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, we came that close; but it was more about our commitment to God\u2014so we had to step back: \u201cWhat does God want?\u201d and \u201cWere we going down the path God wanted us to go?\u201d Well, we could both honestly say, \u201cNo!\u201d\u2014you know. So: \u201cIs this the right direction?\u201d\u2014well, obviously, \u201cNo!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Lacey, there\u2019s undoubtedly a mom or a dad, listening right now, who are in the middle of whatever crisis their facing; and they are at odds with one another. They\u2019ve talked about, thought about, wondered about divorce. What would you say to them in the midst of that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Whew! That\u2019s heavy!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes! The biggest thing that I feel like I forgot sometimes, in the midst of those moments when we were facing divorce, was how much bigger God was than my problems. I always felt like, in those moments: \u201cGod cannot possibly fix this mess,\u201d\u2014like: \u201cOur mess was so much bigger than God\u201d; right? And how silly is that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI made God small and put Him inside this box; you know? That\u2019s not really God\u2014that\u2019s what I was picturing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I was finally able to step back and just look at the big picture, I could realize: \u201cGod is so much bigger than any mess I make, and He loves me enough to help me through it,\u201d\u2014not that He\u2019s going to snap His fingers and fix it\u2014but \u201cHe will help me through it.\u201d I feel like\u2014a lot of times, people look at their marriage and they think: \u201cThere is no way that this can ever be fixed. It\u2019s too far gone.\u201d God is bigger\u2014He\u2019s so much bigger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There\u2019s a by-line on your book we talked about earlier: <em>Love More, Worry Less and See God in the Midst of Your Adversity<\/em>. That\u2019s what you\u2019re saying\u2014is: \u201cRemember who God is in the midst of the storm. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Don\u2019t believe the wrong thing about Him.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the midst of all this\u2014you know, your marriage is going through its struggles \/ Christian is having these surgeries\u2014God spoke to you. This got me\u2014I\u2019ve got to tell you, as a daddy\u2014God spoke to you about not hiding your son\u2019s face. Share with our listeners what took place there and maybe a little bit of a context\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Sure; sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014for why you would be hiding your son\u2019s face.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes; yes! I wasn\u2019t hiding Christian like out of embarrassment or shame. I loved this child \/ I thought he was beautiful; but the thing was\u2014not everybody agreed with me. That became blatantly apparent when we went out in public\u2014we would get some of the worst stares \/ people would whisper behind my back when they thought I couldn\u2019t hear them. I mean, then, we would have people come up to us, too, you know, with all this: \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with your baby?\u201d \u201cWhy does he look like that?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s that on his face?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And some would even say, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you have an abortion?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Those people weren\u2019t to my face, thankfully\u2014those were usually through social media\u2014but we did get those as well. I couldn\u2019t even post a picture on social media of my child without garnering things like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe heard that and worse: \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you abort that?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy first instinct was: \u201cChristian cannot hear these things about himself. I won\u2019t allow it. If what I got to do is hide him \/ protect him, that\u2019s what I\u2019ll do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Mama Bear was coming out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes; yes; yes! So I put a blanket over his car seat any time we were out in public; you know. That way, nobody could really see what was under the little blanket there. I could get my groceries, and I could do my thing and nobody bothered me. It was <em>unreal<\/em> how many people would come up and say, \u201cDo you mind if I take a peek under that blanket?\u201d I\u2019d be like, \u201cYes; I mind.\u201d They would be like, \u201cWhat?!\u201d [Laughter] \u201cWell, he\u2019s sleeping,\u201d\u2014you know, I was just trying to shoo them away. They were like, \u201cWell, I won\u2019t wake him up.\u201d I\u2019d be like, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to be kidding me!\u201d [Laughter] You know, \u201cLet\u2014let me just get my groceries and go on.\u201d It happened so many times! It wasn\u2019t once or twice\u2014it was dozens and dozens of times\u2014people would \/ strangers would approach me: \u201cDo you mind if I like take a peek at your baby?\u201d \/ \u201c\u2026look at your baby?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was like: \u201cGod, what are You trying to tell me here?\u201d It got to the point where: \u201cI\u2019m not supposed to hide this baby. He\u2019s meant to be seen.\u201d Little did I know what that would turn into, down the road, as he got older\u2014with the book, and social media, and things like that. But it was as if God, Himself, had spoken to me: \u201cDon\u2019t hide him! He has a message to share.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I said it got me, emotionally, to hear that story. Looking at his picture, I thought: \u201cChristian is an image bearer. He bears the image of Almighty God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey: <\/strong>Yes; he does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In fact, in some ways, he proclaims more about God, even though he\u2019s less than perfect on the outside. You know what I mean? He declares something about God that, frankly, many of us would never imagine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Powerful!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you\u2019ve actually had people write you and tell you, \u201cThank you for being an inspiration for loving your son.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Three hundred thousand people on your Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> page?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes; yes; over that\u2014[Laughter]\u2014yes; it\u2019s crazy!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting how God takes something like this\u2014and there [are] so many messages for different people in different walks of life, and your life intersects with them. The YouTube video that I watched\u2014that is seven-and-a-half minutes long\u2014how many people have watched that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Millions! I couldn\u2019t even\u2014we\u2019ve lost count\u2014millions upon millions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got a link to it. If folks haven\u2019t seen it, they can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and see you telling the story with Christian, there, on your lap. I have to wonder, after Christian was born, when you went back and read Psalm 139\u2014\u201cI am fearfully and wonderfully made\u201d\u2014how did you process that verse?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> At first, I was of kind of like: \u201cGod, I don\u2019t understand Your plan here. I don\u2019t understand what\u2019s going on\u2014why You\u2019re letting things unfold this way\u2014but if Christian is fearfully and wonderfully made, why are we going through this? Why are we dealing with these things? Why is this painful? Why can\u2019t we just not have this pain?\u201d\u2014you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut looking back, and seeing how things have played out, and sort of seeing God\u2019s plan unfolding, it just makes perfect sense to me now. It\u2019s more beautiful, I think, than if it had played out the way I wanted it to. I really get to see the meaning of \u201cfearfully and wonderfully made,\u201d I think, through Christian; because Christian doesn\u2019t look perfect by our societal standards. There are negative comments that we hear about his appearance; but there is no caveat in that verse that says that \u201cWe are fearfully and wonderfully made so long as we have eyes.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; or \u201c\u2026except for a few of\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes!\u2014\u201c\u2026except for a few kids who are born like this.\u201d You know, it really has\u2014I mean, you know, hindsight is 20\/20. I\u2019m getting to see it just play out, and it\u2019s beautiful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re reminding me of a Psalm\u2014Psalm 8\u2014that I wrote my granddaughter\u2019s name in because she lived seven days. I wrote this on June 21<sup>st<\/sup>, 2008\u2014it says, \u201cYou have set Your glory above the heavens, o God. Out of the mouth of babes and infants You have established strength because of Your foes, to still the enemy and the avenger.\u201d Your son is a living message. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> He is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He is a living message of the grandeur of God. This Psalm starts with this\u2014it says: \u201cO, Lord, our God, how majestic is Your name in all the earth.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChristian is a living messenger to a time, more than likely, you will not see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He is still going to be proclaiming who God is in his unique way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLacey, I just want to thank you and Chris for, in the midst of it, not quitting on your marriage \/ not quitting on your love for your little boy, and ending up having another little boy as well, Chandler. I just thank you that you\u2019ve been faithful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been faithful to what God called you to do, and you\u2019ve believed the right thing about God and you haven\u2019t quit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think there are going to be a lot of people who are going to want to read more about of your story in the book you\u2019ve written called <em>Through the Eyes of Hope<\/em>. I love the subtitle: <em>Love More, Worry Less, and See God in the Midst of Your Adversity<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of Lacey\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can also order by calling 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, our hope, as we gather for these programs every day, is that, when we are all done, each day\u2019s program will provide practical biblical help and hope for your marriage \/ for your family\u2014for what you\u2019re going through in life. It\u2019s always been encouraging to me to run into listeners, who say: \u201cHere is my circumstance. I turned on the radio and, at that exact time, you guys were talking about stuff that was right what I was going through. God used it in my life and I want to say, \u2018Thank you.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, we\u2019re just grateful to God for the opportunity that we have to effectively develop godly marriages and families\u2014that\u2019s our mission, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know a number of you believe in that mission; because you partner with us so that the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014this program that is heard on radio, on the internet, in a variety of different outlets and channels\u2014you make it possible when you make a donation. You are actually making it possible for young couples to benefit from this program, for struggling moms, or for single parents to tune in and get the help and hope they need. We are grateful to those of you who are monthly Legacy Partners. Your monthly investment provides a stable financial foundation on which this ministry can operate. And those of you who donate from time to time\u2014we are grateful for you as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are a regular listener, and you\u2019ve never made a donation, it\u2019s easy to do. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and donate online. Or call 1-800- FL-TODAY to donate. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about what Jesus meant when He said, \u201cTake My yoke upon you and I will give you rest.\u201d What is the yoke we\u2019re supposed to take on? That is something that Hannah Anderson, who is a mom with young kids, found herself wrestling with during a time when she was feeling overwhelmed. God\u2019s Word really spoke to her. She\u2019ll share what she learned about the yoke of Jesus on tomorrow\u2019s program. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:26:17"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.06M"],"filesize_raw":["25231104"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300109.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300109.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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is often filled with unexpected turns. Lacey Buchanan talks honestly about the challenges she and her husband have faced since welcoming the birth of their first son, Christian, who was born blind.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-01-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When Chris and Lacey Buchanan\u2019s son, Christian, was born with no eyes, what followed was stressful for both mom and dad\u2014and, ultimately, put a strain on their marriage\u2014a strain that had them contemplating throwing in the towel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> The biggest thing that I feel like I forgot sometimes, in the midst of those moments when we were facing divorce, is how much bigger God was than my problems. I always felt like, in those moments: \u201cGod cannot possibly fix this mess,\u201d\u2014like our mess was so much bigger than God; right? And how silly is that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I was finally able to step back, I could realize God is so much bigger than any mess I make; and He loves me enough to help me through it. I feel like\u2014a lot of times, people look at their marriage and they think: \u201cThere is no way that this can ever be fixed. It\u2019s too far gone. It\u2019s\u2026\u201d\u2014you know. God is bigger\u2014He\u2019s so much bigger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, January 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Lacey Buchanan joins us today to share about how God ultimately did a turn-around in her marriage after the birth of her son, Christian. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. All of us have moments in life where we get on a path that we hadn\u2019t anticipated\u2014one we wouldn\u2019t have picked for ourselves. But it seems like it\u2019s a part of God\u2019s design in our lives to put us on a few of those paths and to say: \u201cTrust Me. I\u2019ll get you through this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, I\u2019m thinking, as you say that, Bob<strong>, <\/strong>we just\u2014earlier this year\u2014celebrated my granddaughter, Molly\u2019s, 10<sup>th<\/sup> birthday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those listeners who haven\u2019t had the chance to hear that story, Molly was born to our daughter, Rebecca, and her husband Jake, and only lived seven days. On her gravestone is a statement we found on a gravestone in England some 12 months before Molly was even born. Here\u2019s what it said\u2014just to what Bob\u2019s talking about\u2014it says: \u201cWe cannot, Lord, Thy purpose see; but all is well that\u2019s done by Thee.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can\u2019t always see the purposes \/ we don\u2019t know what God\u2019s up to; but Bob, as you just said, as you go through life and after you\u2019ve lived a few decades of life, you realize you\u2019re going to go though some seasons of suffering \/ some serious trials. We have a guest with us today who has had, I don\u2019t want to say, \u201c\u2026your fair share\u201d\u2014you may have made up for some other people here, Lacey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLacey Buchanan, who is the author of <em>Through the Eyes of Hope, <\/em>joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, Lacey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The subtitle of this book is\u2014and this is just a good title\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I love this sub-title.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014just a good sub-title regardless: <em>Love More, Worry Less, and See God in the Midst of Your Adversity<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ve had a chance to put that to practice. You and your husband had been married a couple of years when you found out you were going to have a baby. In the middle of the pregnancy, the doctors told you there was a fetal abnormality\u2014didn\u2019t know what that was\u2014an anomaly they said. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLater, you learned that your son would have a cleft lip and palette. But it wasn\u2019t until he was born that you realized that the cleft lip and palette extended all the way up to his eyes\u2014he was born blind. In fact, the doctors worked in the first few days of his life to kind of figure out what his condition was. It was on Day Four that the doctor came in and reported to you. What did he say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> My husband was in the room, alone, with my son\u2014I had stepped out for just a few moments. So the doctor comes in, I\u2019m told\u2014doesn\u2019t ask where I\u2019m at \/ doesn\u2019t ask for me to come in so that he can deliver the news to both of us\u2014and sort of walks in to my husband\u2014it\u2019s late at night\u2014nine\/ten pm. We\u2019ve watched our son go through surgery\u2014our four-day-old child go through surgery earlier that day\u2014we are mentally, physically, emotionally <em>drained<\/em> at this point. He walks into my husband and says: \u201cYour son is blind. Sorry,\u201d and walks out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the time I get back to the room, my husband is sitting there, sobbing. I check on the baby first\u2014like: \u201cHas something happened? What\u2019s going on? Is everything okay?\u201d and, you know, Christian\u2019s fine. That\u2019s when my husband tells me what had happened. My first thought was: \u201cHe couldn\u2019t even wait until I was back in the room so that we could be together?\u201d so he didn\u2019t have to\u2014you know, my husband had to sort of take the brunt of that, alone, by himself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What were you thinking, as your husband was sobbing and was saying he\u2019s blind. You had seen his face\u2014that had to have dawned on you as well. How did you process that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> It was pretty much just devastation at first. We sort of knew, by looking at him, that he was blind. It was one of those things\u2014we were just holding out until the doctors could tell us something \/ could confirm something for us. That news\u2014and I think delivered so callously to us\u2014we were overwhelmed with \/ immediately overwhelmed with: \u201cThis four-day-old baby\u2014and here is the rest of his life we\u2019re having to contend with.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tImmediately, there in that hospital room, his whole life was in front of us. We\u2019re thinking: \u201cWhat are we going to do? How do we raise a child who\u2019s blind? How do we raise a child with these medical needs? What is Christian\u2019s quality of life going to be like?\u201d because, of course, we wanted a good quality of life for this child. I feel like the news of his blindness being delivered so callously\u2014it almost felt like as if the doctor was speaking to his quality of life as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe took that to heart at first\u2014we were so young \/ first-time parents. There was no manual on parenting we could read ahead of time. We were devastated to <em>know<\/em> that Christian\u2019s condition was this serious\u2014that this is what he was facing\u2014and we had <em>no<\/em> idea what we were going to do about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Usually, when a person or a couple faces circumstances like this, there has to be a time, as you process through the realities of this and think on down the road, where you become angry. Did you get angry? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Oh, absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And how long did it take you to begin to express that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes! I was angry \/ there was a time of anger. I think it built up and peaked right about when Christian was four months old. You know, we had been going to the hospital\u2014he was in the NICU for about a month\u2014and it was a really hard NICU stay. He had surgery while he was there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was trying to work a full-time job. My husband was working a full-time job. I was going to law school still in the evenings\u2014I didn\u2019t get a break because I had a baby. Here I am\u2014trying to get my child to these specialists. He had three to six appointments a week an hour away from our home. I\u2019m trying to balance all of this\u2014I mean, I was so overwhelmed; I felt like I was drowning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen he was three months old, he had a second surgery. I was totally mentally unprepared for it. When he had that surgery, it was <em>the<\/em> hardest surgery he\u2019s ever had. I sat in the hospital room, and I listened to his monitors beep. I was waiting for his heart to stop beating after this surgery\u2014it was that bad. I sat there, and I just remember the beeping in my head. Every beat meant a heartbeat. I\u2019m sitting here, waiting for it to stop. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m talking to God and I\u2019m like: \u201cGod, I can\u2019t do this for the rest of my life. I love this child, and I want to do whatever I have to do for him. We can\u2019t keep going through this.\u201d You know, Christian was facing multiple more surgeries\u2014I\u2019m like: \u201cHow are we ever going to get through this?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m thinking: \u201cGod, what are You doing? Why are You putting us through this?\u201d\u2014you know?\u2014like I\u2019ve been going to church my whole life; I was leading praise and worship; I was teaching Sunday school classes. You know, we were doing it right and \u201cThis innocent child\u2014what has he done?\u201d I was so <em>angry<\/em> at God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Did you share that anger with Chris?\u2014or was this more of a private shaking your fist?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> I shared some of it with Chris. I probably\u2014more than telling Chris how angry I was at God\u2014I was probably lashing out at him as well \/ you know, taking my frustrations out on him as well. He knew I was angry, for sure. We were both sort of just in a state of limbo\u2014like: \u201cWhat do we do?\u201d Communication wasn\u2019t good\u2014I mean, how do you even communicate during this time? You know, we were struggling to even breathe some days\u2014it felt like. Talking was just exerting more energy we didn\u2019t even have. So, yes, he knew; I don\u2019t think we ever sat down and talked about it like we should have, honestly; but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did all of this drive a wedge in your marriage relationship?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey: <\/strong>It did; yes. It did for a long time, and we both handled it differently too. I was the protective mama bear\u2014I mean, \u201cI would fight you for my child.\u201d You know, \u201cI\u2019m going to protect him.\u201d And the difficulties that I was having\u2014Chris wasn\u2019t at the appointments with me with the doctors, because he was having to work. I was dealing with these doctors, who were, you know, sometimes less than nice. Here I am, already emotionally a mess, so my response to them was to start retaliating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cWhatever it takes to fix my son\u2014you got to do it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> \u201cJust do it!! Just do it!\u201d\u2014yes; yes; and \u201cStop being mean about it! Just do your job.\u201d So that built up too. I was just\u2014I was ready to fight: \u201cIf I need to fight you for my child, I will.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChris sort of dealt with it by just burying his head in his work\u2014I mean, he was working as much as he could. For him, it was sort of \u201cout of sight \/ out of mind\u201d\u2014\u201cIf I\u2019m not around it, I don\u2019t have to deal with it.\u201d It\u2019s much easier to sort of step back\u2014he handed it to me\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it was sort of like: \u201cYou deal with it, and I\u2019m going to go work; because I\u2019m still providing for the family. I\u2019m still taking care of my responsibilities over here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI felt abandoned; because: \u201cLike, hey, I need you to step up. I need your help; I\u2019m drowning here.\u201d In his own way, he\u2019s over here, drowning as well. He\u2019s thinking: \u201cI can\u2019t help you. I can\u2019t help myself!\u201d\u2014you know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How did you guys recognize that this was going on?\u2014and get to a point where you can look at each other and say: \u201cLook, we got to get on the same page. We got to support each other.\u201d How did that process work for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> It took <em>years<\/em>; honestly. It wasn\u2019t like an easy quick fix. I feel like\u2014a lot of times, it\u2019s expected\u2014like: \u201cOh, you can just pray a couple times and God\u2019s going to fix your marriage.\u201d God didn\u2019t fix our marriage\u2014I think He fixed us!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> And He\u2019s still fixing\u2014not fixing and He\u2019s done\u2014He\u2019s so not done with us. [Laughter] Yes; it took <em>years<\/em> of us sort of realizing our own responsibility in damaging our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we had to step up\u2014it was hard to take responsibility and say: \u201cI really screwed up right here. I want to reconcile,\u201d and sort of learning to put ourselves aside. You know, it was sort of selfish [of] me to expect so much of Chris, and it was selfish [of] him to sort of run. We had to own up and \u2018fess up to our own selfishness and realize that \u201cWe\u2019ve got to sort of die to ourselves a little bit more here if we are going to get this right.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s an on-going process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> It never stops!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want to make two points here. Number one, men and women process suffering like this differently. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And different isn\u2019t wrong\u2014it\u2019s just different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you\u2019ve got to respect the way the other person is dealing with it. You carried this little boy in your womb for nine months; and here\u2019s Chris, off to the side\u2014he didn\u2019t have those conversations with his son like you did, late at night when you said he was doing tumbling acts in your tummy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA second thing that I want to point out\u2014that you\u2019re really demonstrating here\u2014a lot of marriages don\u2019t make it. It\u2019s something like 60 percent of all marriages\u2014where there is a death of a child or the birth of a child with major handicap issues\u2014don\u2019t last five years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You understand, uniquely, why that\u2019s the case. But your covenant \/ your commitment to each other superseded even your trials at this point. It was your foundation and your trust in God to be able to make it through this, as a couple. Did either one of you ever toss the \u201cD\u201d-word out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Oh! Absolutely! When you said our covenant to each other\u2014I would even go so far as to say there were times when that didn\u2019t even matter to us. It really was more our commitment to God. Sometimes, that was what we held onto; because we were so done with each other that we were ready to throw that covenant out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, it was\u2014I mean, we were facing divorce at one point; you know. I mean, I was at a point where\u2014if somebody said, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d\u2014I\u2019d say, \u201cWell, we\u2019re probably getting divorced here in the next few months\u201d; you know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, we came that close; but it was more about our commitment to God\u2014so we had to step back: \u201cWhat does God want?\u201d and \u201cWere we going down the path God wanted us to go?\u201d Well, we could both honestly say, \u201cNo!\u201d\u2014you know. So: \u201cIs this the right direction?\u201d\u2014well, obviously, \u201cNo!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Lacey, there\u2019s undoubtedly a mom or a dad, listening right now, who are in the middle of whatever crisis their facing; and they are at odds with one another. They\u2019ve talked about, thought about, wondered about divorce. What would you say to them in the midst of that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Whew! That\u2019s heavy!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes! The biggest thing that I feel like I forgot sometimes, in the midst of those moments when we were facing divorce, was how much bigger God was than my problems. I always felt like, in those moments: \u201cGod cannot possibly fix this mess,\u201d\u2014like: \u201cOur mess was so much bigger than God\u201d; right? And how silly is that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI made God small and put Him inside this box; you know? That\u2019s not really God\u2014that\u2019s what I was picturing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I was finally able to step back and just look at the big picture, I could realize: \u201cGod is so much bigger than any mess I make, and He loves me enough to help me through it,\u201d\u2014not that He\u2019s going to snap His fingers and fix it\u2014but \u201cHe will help me through it.\u201d I feel like\u2014a lot of times, people look at their marriage and they think: \u201cThere is no way that this can ever be fixed. It\u2019s too far gone.\u201d God is bigger\u2014He\u2019s so much bigger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There\u2019s a by-line on your book we talked about earlier: <em>Love More, Worry Less and See God in the Midst of Your Adversity<\/em>. That\u2019s what you\u2019re saying\u2014is: \u201cRemember who God is in the midst of the storm. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Don\u2019t believe the wrong thing about Him.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the midst of all this\u2014you know, your marriage is going through its struggles \/ Christian is having these surgeries\u2014God spoke to you. This got me\u2014I\u2019ve got to tell you, as a daddy\u2014God spoke to you about not hiding your son\u2019s face. Share with our listeners what took place there and maybe a little bit of a context\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Sure; sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014for why you would be hiding your son\u2019s face.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes; yes! I wasn\u2019t hiding Christian like out of embarrassment or shame. I loved this child \/ I thought he was beautiful; but the thing was\u2014not everybody agreed with me. That became blatantly apparent when we went out in public\u2014we would get some of the worst stares \/ people would whisper behind my back when they thought I couldn\u2019t hear them. I mean, then, we would have people come up to us, too, you know, with all this: \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with your baby?\u201d \u201cWhy does he look like that?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s that on his face?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And some would even say, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you have an abortion?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Those people weren\u2019t to my face, thankfully\u2014those were usually through social media\u2014but we did get those as well. I couldn\u2019t even post a picture on social media of my child without garnering things like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe heard that and worse: \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you abort that?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy first instinct was: \u201cChristian cannot hear these things about himself. I won\u2019t allow it. If what I got to do is hide him \/ protect him, that\u2019s what I\u2019ll do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Mama Bear was coming out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes; yes; yes! So I put a blanket over his car seat any time we were out in public; you know. That way, nobody could really see what was under the little blanket there. I could get my groceries, and I could do my thing and nobody bothered me. It was <em>unreal<\/em> how many people would come up and say, \u201cDo you mind if I take a peek under that blanket?\u201d I\u2019d be like, \u201cYes; I mind.\u201d They would be like, \u201cWhat?!\u201d [Laughter] \u201cWell, he\u2019s sleeping,\u201d\u2014you know, I was just trying to shoo them away. They were like, \u201cWell, I won\u2019t wake him up.\u201d I\u2019d be like, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to be kidding me!\u201d [Laughter] You know, \u201cLet\u2014let me just get my groceries and go on.\u201d It happened so many times! It wasn\u2019t once or twice\u2014it was dozens and dozens of times\u2014people would \/ strangers would approach me: \u201cDo you mind if I like take a peek at your baby?\u201d \/ \u201c\u2026look at your baby?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was like: \u201cGod, what are You trying to tell me here?\u201d It got to the point where: \u201cI\u2019m not supposed to hide this baby. He\u2019s meant to be seen.\u201d Little did I know what that would turn into, down the road, as he got older\u2014with the book, and social media, and things like that. But it was as if God, Himself, had spoken to me: \u201cDon\u2019t hide him! He has a message to share.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I said it got me, emotionally, to hear that story. Looking at his picture, I thought: \u201cChristian is an image bearer. He bears the image of Almighty God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey: <\/strong>Yes; he does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In fact, in some ways, he proclaims more about God, even though he\u2019s less than perfect on the outside. You know what I mean? He declares something about God that, frankly, many of us would never imagine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Powerful!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you\u2019ve actually had people write you and tell you, \u201cThank you for being an inspiration for loving your son.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Three hundred thousand people on your Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> page?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes; yes; over that\u2014[Laughter]\u2014yes; it\u2019s crazy!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting how God takes something like this\u2014and there [are] so many messages for different people in different walks of life, and your life intersects with them. The YouTube video that I watched\u2014that is seven-and-a-half minutes long\u2014how many people have watched that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Millions! I couldn\u2019t even\u2014we\u2019ve lost count\u2014millions upon millions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got a link to it. If folks haven\u2019t seen it, they can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and see you telling the story with Christian, there, on your lap. I have to wonder, after Christian was born, when you went back and read Psalm 139\u2014\u201cI am fearfully and wonderfully made\u201d\u2014how did you process that verse?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> At first, I was of kind of like: \u201cGod, I don\u2019t understand Your plan here. I don\u2019t understand what\u2019s going on\u2014why You\u2019re letting things unfold this way\u2014but if Christian is fearfully and wonderfully made, why are we going through this? Why are we dealing with these things? Why is this painful? Why can\u2019t we just not have this pain?\u201d\u2014you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut looking back, and seeing how things have played out, and sort of seeing God\u2019s plan unfolding, it just makes perfect sense to me now. It\u2019s more beautiful, I think, than if it had played out the way I wanted it to. I really get to see the meaning of \u201cfearfully and wonderfully made,\u201d I think, through Christian; because Christian doesn\u2019t look perfect by our societal standards. There are negative comments that we hear about his appearance; but there is no caveat in that verse that says that \u201cWe are fearfully and wonderfully made so long as we have eyes.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; or \u201c\u2026except for a few of\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes!\u2014\u201c\u2026except for a few kids who are born like this.\u201d You know, it really has\u2014I mean, you know, hindsight is 20\/20. I\u2019m getting to see it just play out, and it\u2019s beautiful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re reminding me of a Psalm\u2014Psalm 8\u2014that I wrote my granddaughter\u2019s name in because she lived seven days. I wrote this on June 21<sup>st<\/sup>, 2008\u2014it says, \u201cYou have set Your glory above the heavens, o God. Out of the mouth of babes and infants You have established strength because of Your foes, to still the enemy and the avenger.\u201d Your son is a living message. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> He is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He is a living message of the grandeur of God. This Psalm starts with this\u2014it says: \u201cO, Lord, our God, how majestic is Your name in all the earth.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChristian is a living messenger to a time, more than likely, you will not see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He is still going to be proclaiming who God is in his unique way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLacey, I just want to thank you and Chris for, in the midst of it, not quitting on your marriage \/ not quitting on your love for your little boy, and ending up having another little boy as well, Chandler. I just thank you that you\u2019ve been faithful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been faithful to what God called you to do, and you\u2019ve believed the right thing about God and you haven\u2019t quit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think there are going to be a lot of people who are going to want to read more about of your story in the book you\u2019ve written called <em>Through the Eyes of Hope<\/em>. I love the subtitle: <em>Love More, Worry Less, and See God in the Midst of Your Adversity<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of Lacey\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can also order by calling 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, our hope, as we gather for these programs every day, is that, when we are all done, each day\u2019s program will provide practical biblical help and hope for your marriage \/ for your family\u2014for what you\u2019re going through in life. It\u2019s always been encouraging to me to run into listeners, who say: \u201cHere is my circumstance. I turned on the radio and, at that exact time, you guys were talking about stuff that was right what I was going through. God used it in my life and I want to say, \u2018Thank you.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, we\u2019re just grateful to God for the opportunity that we have to effectively develop godly marriages and families\u2014that\u2019s our mission, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know a number of you believe in that mission; because you partner with us so that the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014this program that is heard on radio, on the internet, in a variety of different outlets and channels\u2014you make it possible when you make a donation. You are actually making it possible for young couples to benefit from this program, for struggling moms, or for single parents to tune in and get the help and hope they need. We are grateful to those of you who are monthly Legacy Partners. Your monthly investment provides a stable financial foundation on which this ministry can operate. And those of you who donate from time to time\u2014we are grateful for you as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are a regular listener, and you\u2019ve never made a donation, it\u2019s easy to do. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and donate online. Or call 1-800- FL-TODAY to donate. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about what Jesus meant when He said, \u201cTake My yoke upon you and I will give you rest.\u201d What is the yoke we\u2019re supposed to take on? That is something that Hannah Anderson, who is a mom with young kids, found herself wrestling with during a time when she was feeling overwhelmed. God\u2019s Word really spoke to her. She\u2019ll share what she learned about the yoke of Jesus on tomorrow\u2019s program. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300109","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300109"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300109"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300109"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300109"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300109"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300109"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300109"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}