{"id":300081,"date":"2019-03-12T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-03-12T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/love-will-keep-us-together\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:17","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:17","slug":"love-will-keep-us-together","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/love-will-keep-us-together\/","title":{"rendered":"Love Will Keep Us Together"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Trent and Andrea Griffith address the myth &#8220;Love will keep up together&#8221; with truth from the Bible, and explain how that truth can affect your marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-03-12.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:29:14","filesize":"26.77M","filesize_raw":"28065884","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2805,2862],"tags":[4145,4144,4146],"podcast_series":[7176],"cwp_profile":[8804],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300081","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gods-plan-for-marriage","category-understanding-differences","tag-cultural-perceptions-of-marriage","tag-marriage-is-good","tag-statistics-for-marriage","podcast_series-marriage-is-obsolete-and-other-myths","cwp_profile-trent-and-andrea-griffith","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300081\/love-will-keep-us-together","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300081\/love-will-keep-us-together","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"GMxargB3ZH\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/love-will-keep-us-together\/\">Love Will Keep Us Together<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/love-will-keep-us-together\/embed\/#?secret=GMxargB3ZH\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Love Will Keep Us Together&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"GMxargB3ZH\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-03-12.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-03-12.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Have you ever thought to yourself, \u201cI wonder if I married the right person?\u201d Trent Griffith says that\u2019s the wrong way to be thinking about marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trent: <\/strong><em>So many<\/em> people think the key to a happy marriage\/the key to a durable, lifelong marriage is: \u201cYou got to find your soulmate.\u201d <a id=\"_Hlk1935288\">Can I please give you a public service announcement? You have a better chance of marrying a mermaid or a leprechaun than your soulmate; okay? [Laughter] Soulmates do exist\u2014they are <em>built<\/em> in the second decade of your marriage. [Applause] But if you give up on your marriage, when the feelings of love die, you\u2019re <em>never<\/em> going to make it to the point where you are married to your <em>soulmate<\/em>.<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, March 12<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. The idea of a soulmate is just one of the myths of marriage that exists in our culture. We\u2019ll hear the truth about marriage from Trent and Andrea Griffith today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition. I have to tell you guys\u2014as <em>great<\/em> as it was a few weeks ago, being on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae <\/sup>marriage cruise with a lot of our listeners and a lot of our friends\u2014it was a different kind of cruise for me this year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Because we weren\u2019t with you? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That was part of it; that wasn\u2019t what I was thinking, <em>immediately<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>There was somebody else that wasn\u2019t with him, Ann.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It was because my wife wasn\u2019t with me on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise. That\u2019s kind of a bummer; right?\u2014to go on a marriage cruise without your spouse?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>That\u2019s <em>terrible<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>How was it, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The reason she wasn\u2019t with me was because we have a new grandbaby. She was with the new grandbaby, who is doing great, but was in NICU for a while. He was born early; and so we looked at each other, when he was born early, and we said, \u201cWell, looks like you\u2019re going to be in Brooklyn instead of on the cruise,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s where she was. You go on with a whole different mindset when you\u2019re there without your spouse. I was there to speak and to help with some of the sessions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m mentioning this for our listeners; because we are 70 percent sold-out for next year\u2019s cruise, already. Next year, we\u2019re going to St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands; we\u2019re going to Puerto Rico; we\u2019re going to Coco Cay. We\u2019re adding an extra <em>day<\/em> to the cruise, so it\u2019s seven nights away. We\u2019ve got Dr. Gary Chapman, who\u2019s going to join us; Dennis and Barbara Rainey will be with us. You guys are going to be on the cruise\u2014going to be speaking on the cruise; right?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Woo-hoo!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>We are looking forward to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014great lineup of artists and speakers. We wanted to make sure, before it\u2019s all sold out, that radio listeners get a chance to sign up and join us. <em>This month<\/em>, if you use the promo code, \u201cCRUISE MADNESS,\u201d you can save $400 per couple off your cabin registration. All the information is available when you go to our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. The offer is good\u2014I said it was this month\u2014it ends on the 25<sup>th<\/sup> of March; so get more information and join us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise in 2020, our tenth anniversary cruise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, we are going to hear Part Two of a message from the cruise. Our friends, Trent and Andrea Griffith, spoke on the subject of \u201cMyths about Marriage.\u201d Trent is a pastor in Indiana. He and Andrea speak at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaways. They talked on the cruise about the myth that, today, marriage is out of date\/that it\u2019s obsolete; they said that marriage is good. Then, they talked about [the myth that] marriage is designed to make you happy. They said we need to replace that myth with the truth. That\u2019s where we\u2019re going to pick things up as we hear Part Two of their message on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trent:<\/strong> Here\u2019s the truth that replaces Myth Number 2. It is not marriage that will make you happy. Here\u2019s the truth: \u201cMarriage will make me <em>better<\/em>; marriage will make me <em>grow<\/em>; marriage will make me <em>change<\/em>; and marriage will make me <em>holy<\/em>,\u201d if you will let it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me show you a verse from Romans, Chapter 12, that states this truth\u2014it goes like this [verse 9]: \u201cLet love be genuine,\u201d\u2014you get it? There is no fake love that survives more than a few months in marriage. There\u2019s a difference between fake love that like gets you to the wedding altar\u2014all the infatuation and all the feelings and everything you <em>thought<\/em> was love\u2014that doesn\u2019t survive very long in marriage. There is a level of love that you get to that is more genuine than the love that got you to start dating. Here\u2019s the way you can find whether love is genuine\u2014it\u2019s the next two statements: \u201cAbhor was is evil, and hold fast to what is good.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s how I know that Andrea loves me with a <em>genuine<\/em> love\u2014she <em>abhors<\/em> what is evil in me, and she clings and calls out what is good in me. God is trying to use <em>her<\/em> to make me <em>better.<\/em> Because I\u2019m married, I\u2019ve got an opportunity to grow; because you\u2019re married, you\u2019ve got an opportunity to grow! You might say the person in this room that has the hardest spouse to be married to has the greatest opportunity to grow and to be better; because in genuine love, we abhor what is evil; we cling to what is good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrea: <\/strong>The verse continues\u2014it says, \u201cLove one another with a brotherly affection; outdo one another in showing honor.\u201d That word, honor\u2014it just means placing high value on. You did this when you were dating. You know, your fianc\u00e9\u2014the guy you are dating\u2014he comes to the door and your just \u201cAaah\u201d\u2019 [sigh]; you\u2019re so happy to see him! You place that <em>high<\/em> value. Well, this verse\u2014it tells us to <em>outdo<\/em> one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not a very competitive person\u2014Trent\u2019s a lot more competitive than I am\u2014but I <em>like<\/em> this competition; because, if we will do this, we both <em>win<\/em>. That\u2019s my kind of competition\u2014that we\u2019re <em>both<\/em> trying to <em>serve<\/em> each other, or we\u2019re both trying to find things to put a smile on each other\u2019s face, or looking out for the other\u2019s interests\u2014outdo one another in <em>showing<\/em> honor. This makes me <em>better<\/em>; because I have to put aside my <em>natural<\/em> tendency to just think of myself\u2014just to think what I want\/what will bring a smile to <em>my<\/em> face\u2014or I have to put aside <em>my<\/em> agenda and learn what his is and, then, we can start creating an agenda, <em>together<\/em>, weaving our lives together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really did start out believing and hoping that marriage would make me happy. Part of my happy dream\u2014it was being married but living in a house. It could even be a small house\u2014I didn\u2019t care\u2014just a house near a beach, in a warm, sunny climate; okay? [Laughter] That was my dream. Anyone else have that dream? That was my dream.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTrent\u2019s dream was to do <em>hard<\/em> things for God. As part of our ministry, after we got married, he moved me into an RV travel trailer\u2014for 15 years!\u201415 years! That\u2019s the only house we had\u2014was an RV travel trailer. As each child\u2014when it was time for them to be born, they were just born in whichever state we were in; and that was just our marriage, and our ministry, and our life. Fifteen years after that, I finally got a house!! Guess where it was?\u2014Michigan!!\u2014[Laughter]\u2014Michigan! [Hooting] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a id=\"_Hlk1933308\"><strong>Trent<\/strong>: There\u2019s a beach!<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrea: <\/strong>Yes! [Sighs and laughs]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trent<\/strong>: There\u2019s a beach!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrea: <\/strong>\u2014so we get all the systems snow that come through, <em>and<\/em>we get all the lake effect snow; and that\u2019s where we live. We now live five miles <em>south<\/em> of that original house, where we were in Indiana. I can guarantee you\u2014the reality of that life has been harder than my little house on a beach, but it has <em>definitely<\/em> made me better. It taught me so much on <em>depending<\/em> on the Lord and just staying just under it and enduring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe reality is\u2014in this room\/everyone of you\u2014marriage has been harder than you thought\u2014just the realities of life have been harder than you thought. If we let it, it can cause us to grow\u2014it can make us better. Through the years of us being married\u2014mirroring back to each other what we see in each other\u2014we can help shape each other to make us better; so that, when God has us in His hand as a tool to use, we are sharp\/we are an instrument that He can use to do His work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMarriage won\u2019t make us happy; but if we let it, marriage will make you better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trent: <\/strong>If marriage makes you better\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrea: <\/strong>\u2014better, it\u2019ll make you happy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trent: <\/strong>\u2014it\u2019ll make you happy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the third myth\u2014and we all believe it\u2014here it is: \u201cLove will hold my marriage together.\u201d I mean, what else can hold my marriage together; right? \u201cLove will hold\u2026\u201d\u2014 see, here\u2019s the thing\u2014we need a better definition of love and a better definition of marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we finally got to the altar there\u2014and I walked Brooke down the aisle and I had to do the switch\/turn around thing\u2014and then, David\u2019s there beside me. I got a lot to say about marriage, so I had to cram it all into one statement; so I told these guys: \u201cHere\u2019s everything I want you to know about marriage. I want you to know what marriage actually is and what it is not. So here\u2019s what marriage is\u2014marriage is a holy covenant, initiated by God, conditioned on an irrevocable promise to pursue oneness with an imperfect person of the opposite sex, for a lifetime, for the glory of God. That\u2019s all I\u2019ve got to say about it!\u201d [Cheers] That\u2019s how we had a 40-minute wedding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need a better definition of marriage and we need a better definition of love. <em>So many<\/em> people think the key to a happy marriage\/the key to a durable life-long marriage is: \u201cYou got to find your soulmate.\u201d Can I please give you a public service announcement? You have a better chance of marrying a mermaid or a leprechaun than your soulmate; okay? [Laughter]\u00a0 Now, people have said soulmates don\u2019t exist\u2014I rebut that. Soulmates do exist; they are <em>built<\/em> in the second decade of your marriage. [Applause] But if you give up on your marriage, when the feelings of love die, you\u2019re never going to make it to the point where you are married to your soulmate. We have to find a different definition of love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, listen\u2014something happened to me when I was 16 years old that gave me <em>confidence<\/em> in God\u2019s Word to <em>change<\/em> a life. I was a junior, 1984, at Eisenhower High School in Lawton, Oklahoma. I took a sociology class. My teacher, Mrs. Ryans\u2014I\u2019ll never forget\u2014she gave us an assignment one day. She said, \u201cI want you to go home tonight\u2014take a blank sheet of paper out\u2014I want you to write down your <em>best<\/em> definition of the word, \u201clove.\u201d Now, when she made that assignment, you could hear an audible gasp from all the girls in the room! [Makes gasps like a girl] [Laughter] I mean, that was the easiest assignment they had ever received. I mean, they had been thinking about that; they knew what the wedding dress was going to look like\u2014I mean, it was just like\u2014it just flooded their minds; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou could also hear a <em>grunt<\/em> by the guys: \u201cWhat?!\u201d You know, we didn\u2019t have a clue. I remember\u2014I went home that night, and I stared at that blank sheet of paper for an hour. I finally got some words down on the paper, took it back in, handed it in with everybody else the next day. During the class, Mrs. Ryans graded those papers. At the end of the class, she said: \u201cI want everybody to stop what you\u2019re doing. Everybody give me your undivided attention. You have <em>got<\/em> to hear the definition of love that one of you turned into me today. It is the <em>best<\/em> definition of love I have <em>ever<\/em> received in <em>13<\/em> years of making this assignment in our public high school.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe had our attention. This is what she read\u2014she read: \u201cLove is patient, love is kind, love does not envy; love does not boast, love is not arrogant, love is not rude; love does not insist on its own way; love is not irritable or resentful, love does not rejoice in a wrong doing, love rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things; love believes all things; love hopes all things; love never fails.\u201d When she finished reading that, everybody was looking around, thinking, \u201cWhich one of us idiots could have written that definition?\u201d Finally, people began to demand Mrs. Ryans to reveal who wrote that. Finally, with a tear in her eye, she said it was her teacher\u2019s pet\u2014she said [Tearfully], \u201cTrent wrote that.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then people began to get mad at me, because the level of love at the high school\u2014the bar had just been raised! [Laughter] What we\u2019d been doing on Friday and Saturday night, that we were calling love, was not love at all. And that was kind of destroying the relationships. I had people like start shouting at me: \u201cHey; that ain\u2019t love,\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s unrealistic\u2014nobody can love like that.\u201d A big football player, with his football with him\u2014he\u2019s like: \u201cMy parents got divorced. Your definition says love never fails. Does that mean my parents didn\u2019t never love each other?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI finally raised up my hand and said, \u201cLook; look\u2014I didn\u2019t write that.\u201d They said, \u201cYou\u00a0 cheated!\u201d [Laughter] I said, \u201cI copied every word\u201d; then I slid my sociology textbook away, and I pulled out my Bible that I took with me in my public high school every day. I opened it up to 1 Corinthians, Chapter 13, verses 4-8. I revealed\u2014I said: \u201cLook, if you have a problem with that definition, you really don\u2019t have a problem with me; you have a problem with God. That\u2019s <em>God\u2019s<\/em> definition of love; and if you don\u2019t like it, you need to take it up with God.\u201d I should have known, then, that I was going to be a FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>\/<em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> speaker for FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>!\u2014right? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, listen\u2014I didn\u2019t know this at the time, but Mrs. Ryans was having a little trouble loving Mr. Ryans\u2014the school counselor \/ the disciplinarian\u2014the guy you had to go see when you got in trouble. Well, you know what Mrs. Ryans did? She took that definition of love, and she went home, and she started loving Mr. Ryans according to God\u2019s definition of love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn\u2019t know this for another <em>year<\/em>; but in that moment, she\u2014not only embraced God\u2019s definition of love\u2014she embraced God\u2019s <em>offer<\/em> of love. She received Christ as her own Savior, recognizing that Mr. Ryans couldn\u2019t love her in a way that would meet the need of her heart\u2014only God could do that. She received the love of Christ; and now, she had a whole new supply of God\u2019s love to love Mr. Ryans. A few years after that, I was the eighth grade Sunday school teacher at my church. Mrs. Ryans brought her two eight-grade students to my class. I got to teach them God\u2019s definition of love. A few years after that, we went back. We had two little kids, and we took them to\u2014checked them into the nursery and handed them off to the nursery teacher, who was\u2014Mrs. Ryans. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrea: <\/strong>Mrs. Ryans! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trent: <\/strong>We got to tell them God\u2019s definition of love, because they don\u2019t know. God\u2019s definition of love changes <em>everything<\/em>. And He replaces the <em>myth<\/em> that love will hold your marriage together. Here\u2019s the truth: \u201cMarriage will hold your love together.\u201d It is the commitment; it is the genuine love\u2014going to God to get the supply of love that you need\u2014to bend it out to your spouse to love them in a way that you could never love them on your own.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrea: <\/strong>Trent just gave us God\u2019s definition of love\u2014one of them\u2014and yet, I find myself having my <em>own<\/em> definition of love so many times\u2014like love has to <em>look<\/em> a certain way\/feel a certain way\u2014it\u2019s just <em>my<\/em> thoughts. So, every day, I have to go to God\u2019s Word, and get in it, and say: \u201cOkay; what is truth? What is right? What does God say?\u201d and to put my life\u2014my thoughts\/my feelings\u2014under the authority of Scripture, and let myself change under what God says is love. When I see how much He loves <em>me<\/em>, even in my weakness and in all my mess-ups\u2014and so many things\u2014that I am able to take that love from Him and give it out to my spouse, to my children, to the people in my life, where maybe things aren\u2019t going so well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur culture is going to tell us one thing\u2014our culture says, \u201cMarry the one that we love\u201d; right? Our culture says, \u201cMarry the person that you love.\u201d So, yes!\u2014that\u2019s\u2014all in favor of that\u2014we want to marry the person we love. But the <em>gospel<\/em> takes it another step. The gospel tells us, \u201c<em>Now<\/em>, love the one you marry every day,\u201d\u2014to make that choice to love my spouse <em>again<\/em>, to choose my spouse <em>again<\/em>, to put my spouse <em>first<\/em> in my life in everyday daily things\u2014to choose him again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience: <\/strong>Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trent: <\/strong>So here\u2019s what we\u2019ve learned: \u201cMarriage will hold my love together,\u201d \u201cMarriage will make me better,\u201d \u201cMarriage <em>is<\/em> <em>good<\/em>!\u201d But there\u2019s a caution: \u201cMarriage is good, but marriage is <em>not<\/em> God.\u201d You see\u2014like a Michigan road, we\u2019re constantly sliding into one ditch or the other. [Laughter] On one side, we\u2019re in the ditch that marriage is obsolete; so we over-correct. If we\u2019re not careful, we\u2019ll slide into the ditch on the other side and believe that marriage is an <em>idol<\/em>\u2014we\u2019ll idolize marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tListen\u2014marriage is good, but marriage is <em>not<\/em> ultimate. It is a covenant relationship with <em>God<\/em> that brings the foundation for you to have the covenant love relationship for a lifetime with your spouse. It\u2019s not until you recognize that, on that cross, God absorbed His wrath so that He could <em>love<\/em> us perfectly, even though we are imperfect, to empower <em>us<\/em> to imperfectly love another imperfect person in the context of a lifelong love relationship called marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, again, we\u2019ve been listening to Part Two of a message from Trent and Andrea Griffith from the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise that happened a few weeks ago. Trent is exactly right. This is what you guys talk about in your book, <em>Vertical Marriage.<\/em> If we want our marriage relationship to be all that God intends it to be, we need to understand that flows out of our relationship with God, understanding His love for us and then letting that love spill out to one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; you know, he did such a good job talking about it. The myth is: \u201cYou think another person will give me all that I\u2019m longing for.\u201d I mean, every show\/ every romantic story sort of alludes to that. I think, because we buy into that, we then are disappointed when that person doesn\u2019t bring us the happiness we long for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTrent and Andrea get at: \u201cIt\u2019s only God that can do it.\u201d It\u2019s vertical marriage\u2014when you go, vertical, you <em>find<\/em> what you are looking for, from the Creator, not from the creation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I\u2019m just going to confess: I <em>did<\/em> put my marriage, for a time, before God; and it does <em>not<\/em> work. Marriage is great, but it\u2019s not the ultimate. It is not God, and it doesn\u2019t give you the full satisfaction that only God can give.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You expect your husband or your wife to do things that only God can do\/only Jesus can do in your life. <em>No<\/em> human being can live up to that; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> As great as the person you married is, they are not a good God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to remind our listeners\u2014the <a id=\"_Hlk2155760\">2020 <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise<\/a>\u2014our tenth anniversary cruise\u2014is going to be happening Valentine\u2019s week next year, from February 9<sup>th<\/sup>-16<sup>th<\/sup>\u2014we\u2019re adding a day. We\u2019re going to Puerto Rico, St. Thomas, Virgin Islands\u2014and Coco Cay. We\u2019re also on board a new cruise ship next year\u2014the <em>Allure of the Seas<\/em>\u2014a Royal Caribbean cruise ship that\u2019s an <em>amazing<\/em> vessel. We\u2019ve got a great lineup of speakers, including Dave and Ann Wilson; Dennis and Barbara Rainey will be joining us; Dr. Gary Chapman; Charlie and Kirstie Dates are going to be with us. Mary Ann and I will be on the cruise. We\u2019ve got a lot of plans\u2014some great musicians and artists will be with us. We\u2019d love to have <em>you<\/em> join the <a id=\"_Hlk2156203\"><em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise<\/a> in 2020. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, 70 percent of the cruise ship is sold. If you would like to join us, you need to act quickly. Our team has made the next few weeks, \u201cCRUISE MADNESS.\u201d In fact, that\u2019s the promo code you can use to save $400 per couple off your stateroom for the 2020 cruise. That\u2019s the lowest price that\u2019s going to be available this year. Go to <a id=\"_Hlk2156250\">FamilyLifeToday.com<\/a> for more information about the <a id=\"_Hlk2156648\"><em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise<\/a> and plan to join us, on board, February 9-16, 2020. Again, if you have any questions, or if you\u2019d like to register, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Or call us if you have any questions: 1-800- FL-TODAY is our number\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to hear from a panel of speakers, who were on board the <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise. They\u2019re going to be answering questions that were posed by our cruise guests. Many of the questions had to do with marital intimacy, so that\u2019s where we\u2019ll start with tomorrow\u2019s program. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:29:14"],"show_notes":[""],"filesize":["26.77M"],"filesize_raw":["28065884"],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300081.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300081.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Andrea Griffith address the myth \"Love will keep up together\" with truth from the Bible, and explain how that truth can affect your marriage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-03-12.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Have you ever thought to yourself, \u201cI wonder if I married the right person?\u201d Trent Griffith says that\u2019s the wrong way to be thinking about marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trent: <\/strong><em>So many<\/em> people think the key to a happy marriage\/the key to a durable, lifelong marriage is: \u201cYou got to find your soulmate.\u201d <a id=\"_Hlk1935288\">Can I please give you a public service announcement? You have a better chance of marrying a mermaid or a leprechaun than your soulmate; okay? [Laughter] Soulmates do exist\u2014they are <em>built<\/em> in the second decade of your marriage. [Applause] But if you give up on your marriage, when the feelings of love die, you\u2019re <em>never<\/em> going to make it to the point where you are married to your <em>soulmate<\/em>.<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, March 12<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. The idea of a soulmate is just one of the myths of marriage that exists in our culture. We\u2019ll hear the truth about marriage from Trent and Andrea Griffith today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition. I have to tell you guys\u2014as <em>great<\/em> as it was a few weeks ago, being on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae <\/sup>marriage cruise with a lot of our listeners and a lot of our friends\u2014it was a different kind of cruise for me this year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Because we weren\u2019t with you? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That was part of it; that wasn\u2019t what I was thinking, <em>immediately<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>There was somebody else that wasn\u2019t with him, Ann.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It was because my wife wasn\u2019t with me on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise. That\u2019s kind of a bummer; right?\u2014to go on a marriage cruise without your spouse?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>That\u2019s <em>terrible<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>How was it, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The reason she wasn\u2019t with me was because we have a new grandbaby. She was with the new grandbaby, who is doing great, but was in NICU for a while. He was born early; and so we looked at each other, when he was born early, and we said, \u201cWell, looks like you\u2019re going to be in Brooklyn instead of on the cruise,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s where she was. You go on with a whole different mindset when you\u2019re there without your spouse. I was there to speak and to help with some of the sessions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m mentioning this for our listeners; because we are 70 percent sold-out for next year\u2019s cruise, already. Next year, we\u2019re going to St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands; we\u2019re going to Puerto Rico; we\u2019re going to Coco Cay. We\u2019re adding an extra <em>day<\/em> to the cruise, so it\u2019s seven nights away. We\u2019ve got Dr. Gary Chapman, who\u2019s going to join us; Dennis and Barbara Rainey will be with us. You guys are going to be on the cruise\u2014going to be speaking on the cruise; right?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Woo-hoo!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>We are looking forward to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014great lineup of artists and speakers. We wanted to make sure, before it\u2019s all sold out, that radio listeners get a chance to sign up and join us. <em>This month<\/em>, if you use the promo code, \u201cCRUISE MADNESS,\u201d you can save $400 per couple off your cabin registration. All the information is available when you go to our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. The offer is good\u2014I said it was this month\u2014it ends on the 25<sup>th<\/sup> of March; so get more information and join us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise in 2020, our tenth anniversary cruise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, we are going to hear Part Two of a message from the cruise. Our friends, Trent and Andrea Griffith, spoke on the subject of \u201cMyths about Marriage.\u201d Trent is a pastor in Indiana. He and Andrea speak at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaways. They talked on the cruise about the myth that, today, marriage is out of date\/that it\u2019s obsolete; they said that marriage is good. Then, they talked about [the myth that] marriage is designed to make you happy. They said we need to replace that myth with the truth. That\u2019s where we\u2019re going to pick things up as we hear Part Two of their message on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trent:<\/strong> Here\u2019s the truth that replaces Myth Number 2. It is not marriage that will make you happy. Here\u2019s the truth: \u201cMarriage will make me <em>better<\/em>; marriage will make me <em>grow<\/em>; marriage will make me <em>change<\/em>; and marriage will make me <em>holy<\/em>,\u201d if you will let it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me show you a verse from Romans, Chapter 12, that states this truth\u2014it goes like this [verse 9]: \u201cLet love be genuine,\u201d\u2014you get it? There is no fake love that survives more than a few months in marriage. There\u2019s a difference between fake love that like gets you to the wedding altar\u2014all the infatuation and all the feelings and everything you <em>thought<\/em> was love\u2014that doesn\u2019t survive very long in marriage. There is a level of love that you get to that is more genuine than the love that got you to start dating. Here\u2019s the way you can find whether love is genuine\u2014it\u2019s the next two statements: \u201cAbhor was is evil, and hold fast to what is good.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s how I know that Andrea loves me with a <em>genuine<\/em> love\u2014she <em>abhors<\/em> what is evil in me, and she clings and calls out what is good in me. God is trying to use <em>her<\/em> to make me <em>better.<\/em> Because I\u2019m married, I\u2019ve got an opportunity to grow; because you\u2019re married, you\u2019ve got an opportunity to grow! You might say the person in this room that has the hardest spouse to be married to has the greatest opportunity to grow and to be better; because in genuine love, we abhor what is evil; we cling to what is good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrea: <\/strong>The verse continues\u2014it says, \u201cLove one another with a brotherly affection; outdo one another in showing honor.\u201d That word, honor\u2014it just means placing high value on. You did this when you were dating. You know, your fianc\u00e9\u2014the guy you are dating\u2014he comes to the door and your just \u201cAaah\u201d\u2019 [sigh]; you\u2019re so happy to see him! You place that <em>high<\/em> value. Well, this verse\u2014it tells us to <em>outdo<\/em> one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not a very competitive person\u2014Trent\u2019s a lot more competitive than I am\u2014but I <em>like<\/em> this competition; because, if we will do this, we both <em>win<\/em>. That\u2019s my kind of competition\u2014that we\u2019re <em>both<\/em> trying to <em>serve<\/em> each other, or we\u2019re both trying to find things to put a smile on each other\u2019s face, or looking out for the other\u2019s interests\u2014outdo one another in <em>showing<\/em> honor. This makes me <em>better<\/em>; because I have to put aside my <em>natural<\/em> tendency to just think of myself\u2014just to think what I want\/what will bring a smile to <em>my<\/em> face\u2014or I have to put aside <em>my<\/em> agenda and learn what his is and, then, we can start creating an agenda, <em>together<\/em>, weaving our lives together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really did start out believing and hoping that marriage would make me happy. Part of my happy dream\u2014it was being married but living in a house. It could even be a small house\u2014I didn\u2019t care\u2014just a house near a beach, in a warm, sunny climate; okay? [Laughter] That was my dream. Anyone else have that dream? That was my dream.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTrent\u2019s dream was to do <em>hard<\/em> things for God. As part of our ministry, after we got married, he moved me into an RV travel trailer\u2014for 15 years!\u201415 years! That\u2019s the only house we had\u2014was an RV travel trailer. As each child\u2014when it was time for them to be born, they were just born in whichever state we were in; and that was just our marriage, and our ministry, and our life. Fifteen years after that, I finally got a house!! Guess where it was?\u2014Michigan!!\u2014[Laughter]\u2014Michigan! [Hooting] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a id=\"_Hlk1933308\"><strong>Trent<\/strong>: There\u2019s a beach!<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrea: <\/strong>Yes! [Sighs and laughs]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trent<\/strong>: There\u2019s a beach!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrea: <\/strong>\u2014so we get all the systems snow that come through, <em>and<\/em>we get all the lake effect snow; and that\u2019s where we live. We now live five miles <em>south<\/em> of that original house, where we were in Indiana. I can guarantee you\u2014the reality of that life has been harder than my little house on a beach, but it has <em>definitely<\/em> made me better. It taught me so much on <em>depending<\/em> on the Lord and just staying just under it and enduring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe reality is\u2014in this room\/everyone of you\u2014marriage has been harder than you thought\u2014just the realities of life have been harder than you thought. If we let it, it can cause us to grow\u2014it can make us better. Through the years of us being married\u2014mirroring back to each other what we see in each other\u2014we can help shape each other to make us better; so that, when God has us in His hand as a tool to use, we are sharp\/we are an instrument that He can use to do His work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMarriage won\u2019t make us happy; but if we let it, marriage will make you better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trent: <\/strong>If marriage makes you better\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrea: <\/strong>\u2014better, it\u2019ll make you happy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trent: <\/strong>\u2014it\u2019ll make you happy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the third myth\u2014and we all believe it\u2014here it is: \u201cLove will hold my marriage together.\u201d I mean, what else can hold my marriage together; right? \u201cLove will hold\u2026\u201d\u2014 see, here\u2019s the thing\u2014we need a better definition of love and a better definition of marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we finally got to the altar there\u2014and I walked Brooke down the aisle and I had to do the switch\/turn around thing\u2014and then, David\u2019s there beside me. I got a lot to say about marriage, so I had to cram it all into one statement; so I told these guys: \u201cHere\u2019s everything I want you to know about marriage. I want you to know what marriage actually is and what it is not. So here\u2019s what marriage is\u2014marriage is a holy covenant, initiated by God, conditioned on an irrevocable promise to pursue oneness with an imperfect person of the opposite sex, for a lifetime, for the glory of God. That\u2019s all I\u2019ve got to say about it!\u201d [Cheers] That\u2019s how we had a 40-minute wedding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need a better definition of marriage and we need a better definition of love. <em>So many<\/em> people think the key to a happy marriage\/the key to a durable life-long marriage is: \u201cYou got to find your soulmate.\u201d Can I please give you a public service announcement? You have a better chance of marrying a mermaid or a leprechaun than your soulmate; okay? [Laughter]\u00a0 Now, people have said soulmates don\u2019t exist\u2014I rebut that. Soulmates do exist; they are <em>built<\/em> in the second decade of your marriage. [Applause] But if you give up on your marriage, when the feelings of love die, you\u2019re never going to make it to the point where you are married to your soulmate. We have to find a different definition of love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, listen\u2014something happened to me when I was 16 years old that gave me <em>confidence<\/em> in God\u2019s Word to <em>change<\/em> a life. I was a junior, 1984, at Eisenhower High School in Lawton, Oklahoma. I took a sociology class. My teacher, Mrs. Ryans\u2014I\u2019ll never forget\u2014she gave us an assignment one day. She said, \u201cI want you to go home tonight\u2014take a blank sheet of paper out\u2014I want you to write down your <em>best<\/em> definition of the word, \u201clove.\u201d Now, when she made that assignment, you could hear an audible gasp from all the girls in the room! [Makes gasps like a girl] [Laughter] I mean, that was the easiest assignment they had ever received. I mean, they had been thinking about that; they knew what the wedding dress was going to look like\u2014I mean, it was just like\u2014it just flooded their minds; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou could also hear a <em>grunt<\/em> by the guys: \u201cWhat?!\u201d You know, we didn\u2019t have a clue. I remember\u2014I went home that night, and I stared at that blank sheet of paper for an hour. I finally got some words down on the paper, took it back in, handed it in with everybody else the next day. During the class, Mrs. Ryans graded those papers. At the end of the class, she said: \u201cI want everybody to stop what you\u2019re doing. Everybody give me your undivided attention. You have <em>got<\/em> to hear the definition of love that one of you turned into me today. It is the <em>best<\/em> definition of love I have <em>ever<\/em> received in <em>13<\/em> years of making this assignment in our public high school.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe had our attention. This is what she read\u2014she read: \u201cLove is patient, love is kind, love does not envy; love does not boast, love is not arrogant, love is not rude; love does not insist on its own way; love is not irritable or resentful, love does not rejoice in a wrong doing, love rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things; love believes all things; love hopes all things; love never fails.\u201d When she finished reading that, everybody was looking around, thinking, \u201cWhich one of us idiots could have written that definition?\u201d Finally, people began to demand Mrs. Ryans to reveal who wrote that. Finally, with a tear in her eye, she said it was her teacher\u2019s pet\u2014she said [Tearfully], \u201cTrent wrote that.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then people began to get mad at me, because the level of love at the high school\u2014the bar had just been raised! [Laughter] What we\u2019d been doing on Friday and Saturday night, that we were calling love, was not love at all. And that was kind of destroying the relationships. I had people like start shouting at me: \u201cHey; that ain\u2019t love,\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s unrealistic\u2014nobody can love like that.\u201d A big football player, with his football with him\u2014he\u2019s like: \u201cMy parents got divorced. Your definition says love never fails. Does that mean my parents didn\u2019t never love each other?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI finally raised up my hand and said, \u201cLook; look\u2014I didn\u2019t write that.\u201d They said, \u201cYou\u00a0 cheated!\u201d [Laughter] I said, \u201cI copied every word\u201d; then I slid my sociology textbook away, and I pulled out my Bible that I took with me in my public high school every day. I opened it up to 1 Corinthians, Chapter 13, verses 4-8. I revealed\u2014I said: \u201cLook, if you have a problem with that definition, you really don\u2019t have a problem with me; you have a problem with God. That\u2019s <em>God\u2019s<\/em> definition of love; and if you don\u2019t like it, you need to take it up with God.\u201d I should have known, then, that I was going to be a FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>\/<em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> speaker for FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>!\u2014right? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, listen\u2014I didn\u2019t know this at the time, but Mrs. Ryans was having a little trouble loving Mr. Ryans\u2014the school counselor \/ the disciplinarian\u2014the guy you had to go see when you got in trouble. Well, you know what Mrs. Ryans did? She took that definition of love, and she went home, and she started loving Mr. Ryans according to God\u2019s definition of love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn\u2019t know this for another <em>year<\/em>; but in that moment, she\u2014not only embraced God\u2019s definition of love\u2014she embraced God\u2019s <em>offer<\/em> of love. She received Christ as her own Savior, recognizing that Mr. Ryans couldn\u2019t love her in a way that would meet the need of her heart\u2014only God could do that. She received the love of Christ; and now, she had a whole new supply of God\u2019s love to love Mr. Ryans. A few years after that, I was the eighth grade Sunday school teacher at my church. Mrs. Ryans brought her two eight-grade students to my class. I got to teach them God\u2019s definition of love. A few years after that, we went back. We had two little kids, and we took them to\u2014checked them into the nursery and handed them off to the nursery teacher, who was\u2014Mrs. Ryans. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrea: <\/strong>Mrs. Ryans! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trent: <\/strong>We got to tell them God\u2019s definition of love, because they don\u2019t know. God\u2019s definition of love changes <em>everything<\/em>. And He replaces the <em>myth<\/em> that love will hold your marriage together. Here\u2019s the truth: \u201cMarriage will hold your love together.\u201d It is the commitment; it is the genuine love\u2014going to God to get the supply of love that you need\u2014to bend it out to your spouse to love them in a way that you could never love them on your own.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrea: <\/strong>Trent just gave us God\u2019s definition of love\u2014one of them\u2014and yet, I find myself having my <em>own<\/em> definition of love so many times\u2014like love has to <em>look<\/em> a certain way\/feel a certain way\u2014it\u2019s just <em>my<\/em> thoughts. So, every day, I have to go to God\u2019s Word, and get in it, and say: \u201cOkay; what is truth? What is right? What does God say?\u201d and to put my life\u2014my thoughts\/my feelings\u2014under the authority of Scripture, and let myself change under what God says is love. When I see how much He loves <em>me<\/em>, even in my weakness and in all my mess-ups\u2014and so many things\u2014that I am able to take that love from Him and give it out to my spouse, to my children, to the people in my life, where maybe things aren\u2019t going so well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur culture is going to tell us one thing\u2014our culture says, \u201cMarry the one that we love\u201d; right? Our culture says, \u201cMarry the person that you love.\u201d So, yes!\u2014that\u2019s\u2014all in favor of that\u2014we want to marry the person we love. But the <em>gospel<\/em> takes it another step. The gospel tells us, \u201c<em>Now<\/em>, love the one you marry every day,\u201d\u2014to make that choice to love my spouse <em>again<\/em>, to choose my spouse <em>again<\/em>, to put my spouse <em>first<\/em> in my life in everyday daily things\u2014to choose him again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience: <\/strong>Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trent: <\/strong>So here\u2019s what we\u2019ve learned: \u201cMarriage will hold my love together,\u201d \u201cMarriage will make me better,\u201d \u201cMarriage <em>is<\/em> <em>good<\/em>!\u201d But there\u2019s a caution: \u201cMarriage is good, but marriage is <em>not<\/em> God.\u201d You see\u2014like a Michigan road, we\u2019re constantly sliding into one ditch or the other. [Laughter] On one side, we\u2019re in the ditch that marriage is obsolete; so we over-correct. If we\u2019re not careful, we\u2019ll slide into the ditch on the other side and believe that marriage is an <em>idol<\/em>\u2014we\u2019ll idolize marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tListen\u2014marriage is good, but marriage is <em>not<\/em> ultimate. It is a covenant relationship with <em>God<\/em> that brings the foundation for you to have the covenant love relationship for a lifetime with your spouse. It\u2019s not until you recognize that, on that cross, God absorbed His wrath so that He could <em>love<\/em> us perfectly, even though we are imperfect, to empower <em>us<\/em> to imperfectly love another imperfect person in the context of a lifelong love relationship called marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, again, we\u2019ve been listening to Part Two of a message from Trent and Andrea Griffith from the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise that happened a few weeks ago. Trent is exactly right. This is what you guys talk about in your book, <em>Vertical Marriage.<\/em> If we want our marriage relationship to be all that God intends it to be, we need to understand that flows out of our relationship with God, understanding His love for us and then letting that love spill out to one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; you know, he did such a good job talking about it. The myth is: \u201cYou think another person will give me all that I\u2019m longing for.\u201d I mean, every show\/ every romantic story sort of alludes to that. I think, because we buy into that, we then are disappointed when that person doesn\u2019t bring us the happiness we long for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTrent and Andrea get at: \u201cIt\u2019s only God that can do it.\u201d It\u2019s vertical marriage\u2014when you go, vertical, you <em>find<\/em> what you are looking for, from the Creator, not from the creation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I\u2019m just going to confess: I <em>did<\/em> put my marriage, for a time, before God; and it does <em>not<\/em> work. Marriage is great, but it\u2019s not the ultimate. It is not God, and it doesn\u2019t give you the full satisfaction that only God can give.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You expect your husband or your wife to do things that only God can do\/only Jesus can do in your life. <em>No<\/em> human being can live up to that; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> As great as the person you married is, they are not a good God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to remind our listeners\u2014the <a id=\"_Hlk2155760\">2020 <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise<\/a>\u2014our tenth anniversary cruise\u2014is going to be happening Valentine\u2019s week next year, from February 9<sup>th<\/sup>-16<sup>th<\/sup>\u2014we\u2019re adding a day. We\u2019re going to Puerto Rico, St. Thomas, Virgin Islands\u2014and Coco Cay. We\u2019re also on board a new cruise ship next year\u2014the <em>Allure of the Seas<\/em>\u2014a Royal Caribbean cruise ship that\u2019s an <em>amazing<\/em> vessel. We\u2019ve got a great lineup of speakers, including Dave and Ann Wilson; Dennis and Barbara Rainey will be joining us; Dr. Gary Chapman; Charlie and Kirstie Dates are going to be with us. Mary Ann and I will be on the cruise. We\u2019ve got a lot of plans\u2014some great musicians and artists will be with us. We\u2019d love to have <em>you<\/em> join the <a id=\"_Hlk2156203\"><em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise<\/a> in 2020. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, 70 percent of the cruise ship is sold. If you would like to join us, you need to act quickly. Our team has made the next few weeks, \u201cCRUISE MADNESS.\u201d In fact, that\u2019s the promo code you can use to save $400 per couple off your stateroom for the 2020 cruise. That\u2019s the lowest price that\u2019s going to be available this year. Go to <a id=\"_Hlk2156250\">FamilyLifeToday.com<\/a> for more information about the <a id=\"_Hlk2156648\"><em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise<\/a> and plan to join us, on board, February 9-16, 2020. Again, if you have any questions, or if you\u2019d like to register, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Or call us if you have any questions: 1-800- FL-TODAY is our number\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to hear from a panel of speakers, who were on board the <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise. They\u2019re going to be answering questions that were posed by our cruise guests. Many of the questions had to do with marital intimacy, so that\u2019s where we\u2019ll start with tomorrow\u2019s program. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300081","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300081"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300081"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300081"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300081"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300081"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300081"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300081"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}