{"id":300063,"date":"2019-02-22T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-02-22T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/releasing-your-children\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:15","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:15","slug":"releasing-your-children","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/releasing-your-children\/","title":{"rendered":"Releasing Your Children"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Dennis and Barbara Rainey | Series: The Art of Parenting: Mission and Releasing | Dennis and Barbara Rainey believe that children are meant to be received with joy, intentionally raised and then released. Although releasing typically happens after high school, it actually begins bit by bit when children are babies, beginning with feeding and dressing themselves, starting school, and getting their first job. The Raineys remind us that a parent&#8217;s assignment is to receive their arrow, aim them high, and release them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dennis and Barbara Rainey believe that children are meant to be received with joy, intentionally raised and then released.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-02-22.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:30:32","filesize":"27.96M","filesize_raw":"29318382","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2814],"tags":[2209,4119,4120],"podcast_series":[7171],"cwp_profile":[3051],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300063","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-releasing-your-child","tag-parenting","tag-releasing-your-children","tag-releasing-your-grown-child","podcast_series-the-art-of-parenting-mission-and-releasing","cwp_profile-dennis-and-barbara-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300063\/releasing-your-children","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300063\/releasing-your-children","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"OTM4PAhFfa\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/releasing-your-children\/\">Releasing Your Children<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/releasing-your-children\/embed\/#?secret=OTM4PAhFfa\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Releasing Your Children&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"OTM4PAhFfa\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-02-22.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-02-22.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 22<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Are you ready, as moms and dads, to release your children?\u2014and have you prepared them to do life on their own? We\u2019ll talk more about that today with Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. So, can we just say it right up front? We\u2019re going to talk about the worst part of parenting today; don\u2019t you think?\u2014releasing?\u2014that\u2019s not the worst part of parenting? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, no. [Laughter] Oh, no. I mean, it\u2019s bittersweet\u2014let\u2019s all agree on this\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014but there is life after children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Your marriage was built to outlast your kids. I\u2019m going to tell you\u2014it\u2019s a bonus, Bob, when you can have a smile on your face and you can let your arrow fly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You can weep with them and cry with them; huh? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> He\u2019s nodding; he\u2019s nodding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m rethinking my statement. I\u2019m remembering changing diapers, and releasing was not that bad. [Laughter] I think sleeping through the night and releasing your child\u2014there are some benefits to that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Spoiling the grandkids\u2014it\u2019s wonderful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, sweetheart, while we are still in the saddle, hosting <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s what we call the victory lap; okay? We\u2019re in that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014we\u2019re in that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> It is the victory lap. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is the last time around the track. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We get to peel out like Earnhardt does when he wins\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Are you going to wave the checkered flag? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014burn the tires. I think I\u2019m going to get out in the FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> parking lot\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014and do donuts? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and have them take a video when we\u2019re done here and just do a donut out there. I don\u2019t know if I can do it, though. I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ve got a car that\u2019s got that much power. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> We don\u2019t have a car that would do that. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We shared with listeners, earlier this week, that a transition is on the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn March 4<sup>th<\/sup>, we will have new hosts stepping in to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Dave and Ann Wilson are going to be serving as the new hosts, and you guys will\u2014you\u2019ll be back from time to time, I hope\/I trust. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We will, and we will\u2014we\u2019re not riding off into the sunset to clip coupons and be retired. I\u2019ve got to tell you\u2014I just\u2014I wish people would stop asking me: \u201cWell, how\u2019s retirement?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014because we are not retired. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019re not retired. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re as busy as you\u2019ve ever been. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We are re-firing,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> We are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and recalibrating, and resetting our goals to make the most of what God\u2019s given us for the next decade. After that decade, the next one after that, if God gives the health, soundness of mind, and strength. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> I know you guys have thought about this and talked about it, but part of the stage of life that you\u2019re in is a stage where you model to the next generation what grace looks like as we get older. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re not disengaged. We still have use for the Kingdom; but life changes, and we have to adjust. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, just like what we\u2019re going to be talking about, here, on the broadcast today. We believe\u2014in our book, we talked about this\u2014<em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2014we believe that children were meant to be received, raised, and then released. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think ministries are not unlike that. You help build them. Barbara and I have been here for over 42 years, and we\u2019ve been building this ministry\u2014helping it be effective in more than 100 countries around the world. It\u2019s time for a younger leader, who is more relevant to the next generation, to take over and lead this to the next generation and to the next growth spurt over the next decade that\u2019s ahead. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> David Robbins has been in that role for a year now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right\u2014doing a great job. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Then, with Dave and Ann Wilson stepping in to the broadcast, you guys will be\u2014you\u2019ll be free from the daily responsibilities of producing a radio program like this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but not free from a Kingdom calling on your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I just totally agree. In some ways, we\u2019re more excited about the future than we have been. I think having some time\u2014between a year ago, when David Robbins began, and today\u2014has given us time to evaluate and look. Quite honestly, we feel the approval of God; we feel His favor. We\u2019re ready to charge into the next decade and see what He has. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There is some overlap, as you\u2019re releasing <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> to a new couple to step in and take over\u2014you\u2019ve been through the process of releasing six kids over a lifetime. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I called it the worst part of parenting, it\u2019s probably\u2014because I didn\u2019t like changing diapers or dealing with teenagers, who had an attitude\u2014but I don\u2019t think I had a day when I ever cried as much or as hard\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You don\u2019t cry often! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No; but that first release day. I had been mentored by you for what was coming. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you kind of manned up. You kind of thought: \u201cI\u2019m good. I\u2019m really good on this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I did not\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You were cocky. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014feel it coming. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You were cocky, as I recall. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think that would be accurate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Huh, Keith? Do you agree, Keith? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Keith:<\/strong> Right! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There you go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The release moment\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There you have it\u2014another illustration confirmed by an eyewitness in this case. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But the release moment was a challenge. I\u2019m talking about when I released one to college; and that\u2019s just one in an ongoing series of releases, which is a part of what you talk about in your book. Releasing a child is something that happens over a lifetime; isn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> It does. In fact, you know, we didn\u2019t even think about this until years into our parenting journey; but releasing begins when they are little bitty. You release them to feeding themselves, which, you know, is a mess. You\u2019ve got to deal with all kinds of unpleasantness, but you have to release them to learn to feed themselves. You learn to release them to dressing themselves. As they get older, you release them to school, and to their first job, and on and on it goes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the time you release them at college, or into the military, or into a job and living on their own, you should have had some practice steps. That doesn\u2019t mean that it\u2019s easier, as you were just saying\u2014because we cried like babies when we left our first one at college too\u2014but releasing your children is not a one-time event. It culminates, oftentimes, in an event; but it isn\u2019t just <em>then<\/em>. It\u2019s stages all along the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Dropping the kids off at kindergarten\u2014that was hard; wasn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s a big one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When they go to camp for the first time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That was a big one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and you leave them at camp. When you hand them the keys to the car\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014to the car.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and you\u2019re not going to be in the car with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> When they go on a mission trip with a bunch of kids to Haiti or somewhere else and you\u2019re not there. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> All of those are preparing for that day when you do step away and when they are doing life pretty much on their own, which, Dennis, we\u2019ve got to say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThat\u2019s what our job was at the beginning\u2014to get them to a point where they could do life on their own.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, it is. And I just want to go back and read\u2014I think it\u2019s the first passage we read as we talked about this series on parenting. It\u2019s Psalm 127, verses 3-5. I want you to notice the imagery that God uses when He talks about children. He says, \u201cBehold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows\u201d\u2014I\u2019m going to say that again\u2014\u201cLike arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one\u2019s youth. Blessed is the man who finds his quiver filled with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, it\u2019s not often I actually read from a book that Barbara and I wrote; but I just want to put an exclamation point behind this, because this assignment to you, as a parent\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014to receive your arrow, to aim them, to raise them, and then to release them\u2014is really an incredible privilege; but it\u2019s sacred. Let me read what we said: \u201cParenting isn\u2019t a hobby. It\u2019s not a sport. It\u2019s not playing house just for fun. It\u2019s not about your children\u2019s comfort. You will be releasing your children into a very real spiritual battlefield against a very, very, very evil and crafty enemy. Your arrow was given to you by God, not to keep in your quiver, but to craft, to test, to aim, and let go\u2014let go for God\u2019s glory and for God\u2019s Kingdom impact on planet earth.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tParents, you can\u2019t lose heart in doing well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBoth, Barbara and I would look at each other, at the end of the day; and we always prayed together before we\u2019d go to sleep at night. Some nights\u2014I\u2019m telling you\u2014when raising four teenagers, it was like: \u201cLord, this is exhausting. Good night. See You in the morning,\u201d\u2014not kidding! If you\u2019re doing your job, you\u2019re going to be\u2014you\u2019re going to be exhausted, sometimes, because it means you\u2019ve got to be paying attention to what\u2019s going on in, not just your family\u2019s life as a whole, but uniquely what\u2019s happening in each of your children\u2019s lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; I think a lot of parents stumble with a final release, because they\u2019ve not done a good job of those practice releases\/those earlier releases. Barbara, you\u2019ve seen this\u2014moms who are still treating a 14-year-old like they are 6 years old. They haven\u2019t adjusted their parenting to say: \u201cWe\u2019re in a new stage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI need to be releasing more responsibility and more freedom to you during this time of your life.\u201d They are still treating them like they are 6; and they are following them around, and checking everything they do, and making sure they never make a mistake. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes, and that\u2019s not going to be helpful. I mean, what that does is\u2014that kind of parenting\u2014it\u2019s often called helicopter parenting. It\u2019s where you\u2019re hovering over your kid. That\u2019s just going to make them more dependent on you. That may feel good, in the moment, to the parent; but it\u2019s not healthy for the kid. So, really, the goal for parenting\u2014if you can remember this, early on\u2014that your goal is eventually releasing your child, then it\u2019s easier to see those life stages as slowly progressing toward that final release. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s important because you want your child\u2014hopefully, you want your child to grow up to depend on God without you. That\u2019s the whole goal of parenting\u2014is raising kids who are also dependent on God for themselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I can\u2019t tell you how liberating it was to be raising all six of our kids with this concept in mind, because there really are a number of release points that you know you\u2019re building toward. As you move in the teenage years, you realize: \u201cYou know, if I don\u2019t give them a little freedom, right now, and release them to fail while they are at home, then, instead, they are going to be protected\u2014maybe overly protected by us\u2014and they are going to fail at college or the workplace.\u201d The failure may be much larger; because you\u2019re not there, and you\u2019re not there to teach. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; we wanted our kids to run into hard things while they were still at home. We wanted them to have a job and work for a boss who, maybe, was not the easiest person to deal with; or to deal with customers who were not friendly; or to run into kids at school who challenged their value system; or to have teachers who, maybe, introduced ideas that were not familiar to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe wanted our kids to experience all of that so that they could, then, come home and talk to us about it. We could interact so that, when they went to college or went to their first job, they were not quite as unprepared. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve spent a lot of time in the last year in the Psalms. The concept of generations has been resonating in my soul. As I turn to the parents right now, who are in the process of raising the next generation, I want to read you a Psalm\u2014not the whole Psalm but just a segment of it\u2014that really is\u2014it\u2019s the desire of an older, hopefully, mature man or woman, who is crying out to God. Listen to this\u2014he says, \u201cO God, from my youth You have taught me, and I still proclaim Your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim Your might to another generation, Your power to all those to come.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery follower of Christ has a responsibility to reach his generation, and he is called to outlive himself by another generation by equipping children \/ people he comes in contact in this relay race and passing the baton of faith. That\u2019s what it is about, Bob\u2014that\u2019s what we\u2019re to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, what do you do, if your child is 17 or 18 in their senior year of high school, and you think, \u201cI don\u2019t know that they are ready to fly?\u201d [Laughter] How do you handle that, as a parent? Do you call a timeout?\u2014 and do you say, \u201cWe\u2019re not sending you to college\u201d? Do you do a gap year? Do you\u2014or do you say: \u201cWell, it\u2019s just that time. They are going to have to learn. They may stumble, but we\u2019ll just have to see how they do\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, I think it depends on what time of year in the senior year that this occurs to you. If it\u2019s in the fall, you\u2019ve got a little bit more time to, maybe, make an alternative plan, like a gap year or something; but I think the most important thing is to just pull back and go to the Lord and say: \u201cLord, I don\u2019t think this child is ready; but You know what this child is ready for or not. Guide me in the few weeks or months that I have left with this one to impart what I need to impart.\u201d And say: \u201cGod, what do I need to teach?\u2014what have I forgotten?\u2014what have I overlooked\/what have I left out? Help me make the most of these last months that we have together.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause if it is late in the game\u2014if it is in the spring and your child has already got an acceptance to a college\u2014then you have to trust God that he\u2019s ready even if you don\u2019t feel like he\u2019s ready or she\u2019s ready to go; because in the end, are any of our kids really ready to go, in our opinion?\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014probably not. There is always more we could teach, always more that we wish we had said; and yet, at some point, we have to trust that God is bigger than our mistakes. He is able to catch them if they fall, and we need to let them go and let them learn on their own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think Barbara was questioning whether Ashley should be released or not; but I have to kind of rat on her with the audience. When our oldest\/our firstborn graduated from high school, we knew the day was coming. We were kind of like Bob\u2014we had never done it; so we know there is a release point coming, where we\u2019re going to take her to college. She chose, kind of symbolically, Ole Miss, which is the Rebels to not go to our home state university, where both Barbara and I attended. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe went over there, and we took a small semi-truck load full of clothing and furniture and books and stuff. I\u2019m watching Barbara\u2014I\u2019m watching her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe is stalling all day long; and I\u2019m saying, \u201cBarbara, it\u2019s time to go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I admit it\u2014I was stalling. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cWe must let go.\u201d I\u2019m getting emotional, now, telling the story; but finally, we had to let go\u2014walked out in the parking lot. I had this real noble\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014plan. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014commission; yes\u2014commission that I was going to give her. I was going to pray over her, so I did. I do think I made it through this passage in Philippians, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChapter 2, verse 12-15. I\u2019ll not read all of it, but it says: \u201cTherefore, my beloved, as you have obeyed, so now, not only in my presence but much more in my absence,\u201d\u2014so, now, you\u2019re calling them: \u201cIt\u2019s game time. You\u2019ve got to obey. We\u2019re not going to be there. You\u2019re on your own, Ashley.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt goes on to say you need to \u201c\u2026be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and this is when I began to choke up\u2014\u201c[your mom and I will] be proud that [we] did not run in vain or labor in vain.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that moment, I was going to put my arm around Ashley\u2014Barbara was too\u2014and I was going to pray for her; but not unlike you, Bob\u2014because I think the same thing happened to you\u2014I was crying so hard I couldn\u2019t pray. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And Barbara? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I couldn\u2019t pray either. I was sobbing at the thought of driving away and leaving her\u2014I mean, leaving her four hours away. I couldn\u2019t just walk over and check on her. I mean, we were <em>leaving<\/em> her. It was\u2014it was awful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, our own daughter had to pray for herself! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was pitiful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> It was pitiful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was pitiful. It\u2019s a determinative moment, but it\u2019s a <em>beautiful<\/em> moment because she did <em>great<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; she did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She made some mistakes, but she did great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Didn\u2019t they all? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s the point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They are going to make mistakes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, and didn\u2019t we? That\u2019s what we forget, as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; right\u2014that\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I mean, it\u2019s not like we did it perfectly either. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And God works through our mistakes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014to conform us to the image of Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> He is sufficient. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, just one final question related to this: \u201cWhat about the boomerangs? What about the ones you\u2019ve released, who show back up and they\u2019re not ready to take on the world yet and, maybe, college is over\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Listen carefully to my advice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand want to move back into their room?\u201d Yes? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We told our kids: \u201cYou are good for four years.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u201cFour years\u2014you get four years.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cYou get four years for your college.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u201cAnything over four years, you\u2019re on your own.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \u201cWhen you graduate in May, you can come home for the summer; but after the summer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cyou\u2019re on your own.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cyou\u2019re out of here. You\u2019ve got to lead your own life. It may be next door. It may be down the street, but it isn\u2019t here. [Laughter] Your mom and I have a life as well.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And there may be unique circumstances, obviously\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Of course. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Of course. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Of course. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014where you\u2019d open your doors to a child, but it should not be just because they\u2019re not sure what to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s, again, not an easy part of the assignment; but it\u2019s what the assignment\u2019s really all about. It\u2019s the whole reason we go through the parenting process\u2014is so that we can say: \u201cNow, it\u2019s your turn. It\u2019s your turn to step out, and to do life, and to be fruitful and to multiply, and to replenish the earth and keep the cycle going.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cAnd to keep the generational relay race going as well.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just want to turn to the listener, at this point, and say: \u201cAre you one of those that needs to get on to the field and get in the game and make an impact in the marriages and families in your community? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIf so, why don\u2019t you pick up the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> and form a small group? You may say, \u2018But Dennis, we\u2019ve raised our kids.\u2019 Well, you know what? You\u2019ve got some time to lead this.\u201d It is made to help you apply all four of these major pillars we\u2019ve talked about\u2014about being parents according to how God expects us to raise the next generation. This may be one of the most exciting ministries you\u2019ve ever had. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had lunch, yesterday, with a gentleman, who is now on his second <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> group. He is electrified. He goes: \u201cThis is fantastic.\u201d It\u2019s well-done; it\u2019s designed for interaction for young couples, who are starting their family to get out of isolation and find out they are not the only ones on the planet who are encountering these difficulties. Lead the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> and make a difference in the next generation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There is information available on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com about the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can find out more when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have copies of your book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. In fact, we\u2019re making that book available as a thank-you gift today to listeners who want to help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. There have been, today, hundreds of thousands of people all around the country and all around the world who are accessing this program on radio, online, and through mobile app. They are tuned into <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Some of them are saying, \u201cAlexa, play <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>,\u201d and listening that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou make that possible every time you make a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. And we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank for your support today,\u201d by sending you a copy of Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. You can request the book when you make an online donation at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call to donate: 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBe sure to request a copy of the book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>, when you get in touch with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tonight, in six cities across the country, we have <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways happening. I\u2019m going to be speaking in Kansas City this weekend. I\u2019m looking forward to being with listeners in the Kansas City area; but we\u2019ve also got getaways happening this weekend in Albuquerque, New Mexico; Tulsa, Oklahoma; Grand Rapids, Michigan; Cincinnati, Ohio; and Appleton, Wisconsin. We\u2019ve got more getaways happening next weekend and throughout the spring. Pray for the couples who will be attending one of the getaways this weekend. Pray that God will do a work in their life and in their marriage as they spend the weekend with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, thanks to those of you who make these kinds of events possible by helping to support this ministry. We appreciate your partnership with us. By the way, if you\u2019ve never been to a getaway, come join us at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. It\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> weekend for couples. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope <em>you<\/em> have a great weekend this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope you\u2019re able to worship together with your family in your local church. Then, I hope you can join us on Monday when we\u2019re going to celebrate\u2014we\u2019re going to celebrate the impact of more than 26 years\u2019 worth of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Dave and Ann Wilson will be here with us as well. We\u2019ll talk about lessons we\u2019ve learned from the Raineys over the last two-and-a-half decades. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:30:32"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["27.96M"],"filesize_raw":["29318382"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300063.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300063.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Barbara Rainey believe that children are meant to be received with joy, intentionally raised and then released.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-02-22.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 22<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Are you ready, as moms and dads, to release your children?\u2014and have you prepared them to do life on their own? We\u2019ll talk more about that today with Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. So, can we just say it right up front? We\u2019re going to talk about the worst part of parenting today; don\u2019t you think?\u2014releasing?\u2014that\u2019s not the worst part of parenting? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, no. [Laughter] Oh, no. I mean, it\u2019s bittersweet\u2014let\u2019s all agree on this\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014but there is life after children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Your marriage was built to outlast your kids. I\u2019m going to tell you\u2014it\u2019s a bonus, Bob, when you can have a smile on your face and you can let your arrow fly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You can weep with them and cry with them; huh? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> He\u2019s nodding; he\u2019s nodding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m rethinking my statement. I\u2019m remembering changing diapers, and releasing was not that bad. [Laughter] I think sleeping through the night and releasing your child\u2014there are some benefits to that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Spoiling the grandkids\u2014it\u2019s wonderful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, sweetheart, while we are still in the saddle, hosting <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s what we call the victory lap; okay? We\u2019re in that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014we\u2019re in that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> It is the victory lap. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is the last time around the track. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We get to peel out like Earnhardt does when he wins\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Are you going to wave the checkered flag? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014burn the tires. I think I\u2019m going to get out in the FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> parking lot\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014and do donuts? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and have them take a video when we\u2019re done here and just do a donut out there. I don\u2019t know if I can do it, though. I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ve got a car that\u2019s got that much power. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> We don\u2019t have a car that would do that. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We shared with listeners, earlier this week, that a transition is on the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn March 4<sup>th<\/sup>, we will have new hosts stepping in to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Dave and Ann Wilson are going to be serving as the new hosts, and you guys will\u2014you\u2019ll be back from time to time, I hope\/I trust. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We will, and we will\u2014we\u2019re not riding off into the sunset to clip coupons and be retired. I\u2019ve got to tell you\u2014I just\u2014I wish people would stop asking me: \u201cWell, how\u2019s retirement?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014because we are not retired. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019re not retired. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re as busy as you\u2019ve ever been. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We are re-firing,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> We are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and recalibrating, and resetting our goals to make the most of what God\u2019s given us for the next decade. After that decade, the next one after that, if God gives the health, soundness of mind, and strength. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> I know you guys have thought about this and talked about it, but part of the stage of life that you\u2019re in is a stage where you model to the next generation what grace looks like as we get older. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re not disengaged. We still have use for the Kingdom; but life changes, and we have to adjust. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, just like what we\u2019re going to be talking about, here, on the broadcast today. We believe\u2014in our book, we talked about this\u2014<em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2014we believe that children were meant to be received, raised, and then released. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think ministries are not unlike that. You help build them. Barbara and I have been here for over 42 years, and we\u2019ve been building this ministry\u2014helping it be effective in more than 100 countries around the world. It\u2019s time for a younger leader, who is more relevant to the next generation, to take over and lead this to the next generation and to the next growth spurt over the next decade that\u2019s ahead. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> David Robbins has been in that role for a year now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right\u2014doing a great job. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Then, with Dave and Ann Wilson stepping in to the broadcast, you guys will be\u2014you\u2019ll be free from the daily responsibilities of producing a radio program like this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but not free from a Kingdom calling on your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I just totally agree. In some ways, we\u2019re more excited about the future than we have been. I think having some time\u2014between a year ago, when David Robbins began, and today\u2014has given us time to evaluate and look. Quite honestly, we feel the approval of God; we feel His favor. We\u2019re ready to charge into the next decade and see what He has. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There is some overlap, as you\u2019re releasing <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> to a new couple to step in and take over\u2014you\u2019ve been through the process of releasing six kids over a lifetime. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I called it the worst part of parenting, it\u2019s probably\u2014because I didn\u2019t like changing diapers or dealing with teenagers, who had an attitude\u2014but I don\u2019t think I had a day when I ever cried as much or as hard\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You don\u2019t cry often! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No; but that first release day. I had been mentored by you for what was coming. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you kind of manned up. You kind of thought: \u201cI\u2019m good. I\u2019m really good on this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I did not\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You were cocky. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014feel it coming. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You were cocky, as I recall. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think that would be accurate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Huh, Keith? Do you agree, Keith? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Keith:<\/strong> Right! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There you go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The release moment\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There you have it\u2014another illustration confirmed by an eyewitness in this case. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But the release moment was a challenge. I\u2019m talking about when I released one to college; and that\u2019s just one in an ongoing series of releases, which is a part of what you talk about in your book. Releasing a child is something that happens over a lifetime; isn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> It does. In fact, you know, we didn\u2019t even think about this until years into our parenting journey; but releasing begins when they are little bitty. You release them to feeding themselves, which, you know, is a mess. You\u2019ve got to deal with all kinds of unpleasantness, but you have to release them to learn to feed themselves. You learn to release them to dressing themselves. As they get older, you release them to school, and to their first job, and on and on it goes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the time you release them at college, or into the military, or into a job and living on their own, you should have had some practice steps. That doesn\u2019t mean that it\u2019s easier, as you were just saying\u2014because we cried like babies when we left our first one at college too\u2014but releasing your children is not a one-time event. It culminates, oftentimes, in an event; but it isn\u2019t just <em>then<\/em>. It\u2019s stages all along the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Dropping the kids off at kindergarten\u2014that was hard; wasn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s a big one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When they go to camp for the first time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That was a big one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and you leave them at camp. When you hand them the keys to the car\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014to the car.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and you\u2019re not going to be in the car with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> When they go on a mission trip with a bunch of kids to Haiti or somewhere else and you\u2019re not there. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> All of those are preparing for that day when you do step away and when they are doing life pretty much on their own, which, Dennis, we\u2019ve got to say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThat\u2019s what our job was at the beginning\u2014to get them to a point where they could do life on their own.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, it is. And I just want to go back and read\u2014I think it\u2019s the first passage we read as we talked about this series on parenting. It\u2019s Psalm 127, verses 3-5. I want you to notice the imagery that God uses when He talks about children. He says, \u201cBehold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows\u201d\u2014I\u2019m going to say that again\u2014\u201cLike arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one\u2019s youth. Blessed is the man who finds his quiver filled with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, it\u2019s not often I actually read from a book that Barbara and I wrote; but I just want to put an exclamation point behind this, because this assignment to you, as a parent\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014to receive your arrow, to aim them, to raise them, and then to release them\u2014is really an incredible privilege; but it\u2019s sacred. Let me read what we said: \u201cParenting isn\u2019t a hobby. It\u2019s not a sport. It\u2019s not playing house just for fun. It\u2019s not about your children\u2019s comfort. You will be releasing your children into a very real spiritual battlefield against a very, very, very evil and crafty enemy. Your arrow was given to you by God, not to keep in your quiver, but to craft, to test, to aim, and let go\u2014let go for God\u2019s glory and for God\u2019s Kingdom impact on planet earth.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tParents, you can\u2019t lose heart in doing well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBoth, Barbara and I would look at each other, at the end of the day; and we always prayed together before we\u2019d go to sleep at night. Some nights\u2014I\u2019m telling you\u2014when raising four teenagers, it was like: \u201cLord, this is exhausting. Good night. See You in the morning,\u201d\u2014not kidding! If you\u2019re doing your job, you\u2019re going to be\u2014you\u2019re going to be exhausted, sometimes, because it means you\u2019ve got to be paying attention to what\u2019s going on in, not just your family\u2019s life as a whole, but uniquely what\u2019s happening in each of your children\u2019s lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; I think a lot of parents stumble with a final release, because they\u2019ve not done a good job of those practice releases\/those earlier releases. Barbara, you\u2019ve seen this\u2014moms who are still treating a 14-year-old like they are 6 years old. They haven\u2019t adjusted their parenting to say: \u201cWe\u2019re in a new stage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI need to be releasing more responsibility and more freedom to you during this time of your life.\u201d They are still treating them like they are 6; and they are following them around, and checking everything they do, and making sure they never make a mistake. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes, and that\u2019s not going to be helpful. I mean, what that does is\u2014that kind of parenting\u2014it\u2019s often called helicopter parenting. It\u2019s where you\u2019re hovering over your kid. That\u2019s just going to make them more dependent on you. That may feel good, in the moment, to the parent; but it\u2019s not healthy for the kid. So, really, the goal for parenting\u2014if you can remember this, early on\u2014that your goal is eventually releasing your child, then it\u2019s easier to see those life stages as slowly progressing toward that final release. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s important because you want your child\u2014hopefully, you want your child to grow up to depend on God without you. That\u2019s the whole goal of parenting\u2014is raising kids who are also dependent on God for themselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I can\u2019t tell you how liberating it was to be raising all six of our kids with this concept in mind, because there really are a number of release points that you know you\u2019re building toward. As you move in the teenage years, you realize: \u201cYou know, if I don\u2019t give them a little freedom, right now, and release them to fail while they are at home, then, instead, they are going to be protected\u2014maybe overly protected by us\u2014and they are going to fail at college or the workplace.\u201d The failure may be much larger; because you\u2019re not there, and you\u2019re not there to teach. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; we wanted our kids to run into hard things while they were still at home. We wanted them to have a job and work for a boss who, maybe, was not the easiest person to deal with; or to deal with customers who were not friendly; or to run into kids at school who challenged their value system; or to have teachers who, maybe, introduced ideas that were not familiar to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe wanted our kids to experience all of that so that they could, then, come home and talk to us about it. We could interact so that, when they went to college or went to their first job, they were not quite as unprepared. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve spent a lot of time in the last year in the Psalms. The concept of generations has been resonating in my soul. As I turn to the parents right now, who are in the process of raising the next generation, I want to read you a Psalm\u2014not the whole Psalm but just a segment of it\u2014that really is\u2014it\u2019s the desire of an older, hopefully, mature man or woman, who is crying out to God. Listen to this\u2014he says, \u201cO God, from my youth You have taught me, and I still proclaim Your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim Your might to another generation, Your power to all those to come.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery follower of Christ has a responsibility to reach his generation, and he is called to outlive himself by another generation by equipping children \/ people he comes in contact in this relay race and passing the baton of faith. That\u2019s what it is about, Bob\u2014that\u2019s what we\u2019re to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, what do you do, if your child is 17 or 18 in their senior year of high school, and you think, \u201cI don\u2019t know that they are ready to fly?\u201d [Laughter] How do you handle that, as a parent? Do you call a timeout?\u2014 and do you say, \u201cWe\u2019re not sending you to college\u201d? Do you do a gap year? Do you\u2014or do you say: \u201cWell, it\u2019s just that time. They are going to have to learn. They may stumble, but we\u2019ll just have to see how they do\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, I think it depends on what time of year in the senior year that this occurs to you. If it\u2019s in the fall, you\u2019ve got a little bit more time to, maybe, make an alternative plan, like a gap year or something; but I think the most important thing is to just pull back and go to the Lord and say: \u201cLord, I don\u2019t think this child is ready; but You know what this child is ready for or not. Guide me in the few weeks or months that I have left with this one to impart what I need to impart.\u201d And say: \u201cGod, what do I need to teach?\u2014what have I forgotten?\u2014what have I overlooked\/what have I left out? Help me make the most of these last months that we have together.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause if it is late in the game\u2014if it is in the spring and your child has already got an acceptance to a college\u2014then you have to trust God that he\u2019s ready even if you don\u2019t feel like he\u2019s ready or she\u2019s ready to go; because in the end, are any of our kids really ready to go, in our opinion?\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014probably not. There is always more we could teach, always more that we wish we had said; and yet, at some point, we have to trust that God is bigger than our mistakes. He is able to catch them if they fall, and we need to let them go and let them learn on their own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think Barbara was questioning whether Ashley should be released or not; but I have to kind of rat on her with the audience. When our oldest\/our firstborn graduated from high school, we knew the day was coming. We were kind of like Bob\u2014we had never done it; so we know there is a release point coming, where we\u2019re going to take her to college. She chose, kind of symbolically, Ole Miss, which is the Rebels to not go to our home state university, where both Barbara and I attended. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe went over there, and we took a small semi-truck load full of clothing and furniture and books and stuff. I\u2019m watching Barbara\u2014I\u2019m watching her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe is stalling all day long; and I\u2019m saying, \u201cBarbara, it\u2019s time to go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I admit it\u2014I was stalling. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cWe must let go.\u201d I\u2019m getting emotional, now, telling the story; but finally, we had to let go\u2014walked out in the parking lot. I had this real noble\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014plan. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014commission; yes\u2014commission that I was going to give her. I was going to pray over her, so I did. I do think I made it through this passage in Philippians, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChapter 2, verse 12-15. I\u2019ll not read all of it, but it says: \u201cTherefore, my beloved, as you have obeyed, so now, not only in my presence but much more in my absence,\u201d\u2014so, now, you\u2019re calling them: \u201cIt\u2019s game time. You\u2019ve got to obey. We\u2019re not going to be there. You\u2019re on your own, Ashley.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt goes on to say you need to \u201c\u2026be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and this is when I began to choke up\u2014\u201c[your mom and I will] be proud that [we] did not run in vain or labor in vain.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that moment, I was going to put my arm around Ashley\u2014Barbara was too\u2014and I was going to pray for her; but not unlike you, Bob\u2014because I think the same thing happened to you\u2014I was crying so hard I couldn\u2019t pray. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And Barbara? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I couldn\u2019t pray either. I was sobbing at the thought of driving away and leaving her\u2014I mean, leaving her four hours away. I couldn\u2019t just walk over and check on her. I mean, we were <em>leaving<\/em> her. It was\u2014it was awful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, our own daughter had to pray for herself! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was pitiful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> It was pitiful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was pitiful. It\u2019s a determinative moment, but it\u2019s a <em>beautiful<\/em> moment because she did <em>great<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; she did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She made some mistakes, but she did great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Didn\u2019t they all? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s the point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They are going to make mistakes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, and didn\u2019t we? That\u2019s what we forget, as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; right\u2014that\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I mean, it\u2019s not like we did it perfectly either. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And God works through our mistakes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014to conform us to the image of Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> He is sufficient. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, just one final question related to this: \u201cWhat about the boomerangs? What about the ones you\u2019ve released, who show back up and they\u2019re not ready to take on the world yet and, maybe, college is over\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Listen carefully to my advice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand want to move back into their room?\u201d Yes? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We told our kids: \u201cYou are good for four years.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u201cFour years\u2014you get four years.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cYou get four years for your college.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u201cAnything over four years, you\u2019re on your own.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \u201cWhen you graduate in May, you can come home for the summer; but after the summer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cyou\u2019re on your own.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cyou\u2019re out of here. You\u2019ve got to lead your own life. It may be next door. It may be down the street, but it isn\u2019t here. [Laughter] Your mom and I have a life as well.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And there may be unique circumstances, obviously\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Of course. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Of course. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Of course. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014where you\u2019d open your doors to a child, but it should not be just because they\u2019re not sure what to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s, again, not an easy part of the assignment; but it\u2019s what the assignment\u2019s really all about. It\u2019s the whole reason we go through the parenting process\u2014is so that we can say: \u201cNow, it\u2019s your turn. It\u2019s your turn to step out, and to do life, and to be fruitful and to multiply, and to replenish the earth and keep the cycle going.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cAnd to keep the generational relay race going as well.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just want to turn to the listener, at this point, and say: \u201cAre you one of those that needs to get on to the field and get in the game and make an impact in the marriages and families in your community? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIf so, why don\u2019t you pick up the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> and form a small group? You may say, \u2018But Dennis, we\u2019ve raised our kids.\u2019 Well, you know what? You\u2019ve got some time to lead this.\u201d It is made to help you apply all four of these major pillars we\u2019ve talked about\u2014about being parents according to how God expects us to raise the next generation. This may be one of the most exciting ministries you\u2019ve ever had. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had lunch, yesterday, with a gentleman, who is now on his second <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> group. He is electrified. He goes: \u201cThis is fantastic.\u201d It\u2019s well-done; it\u2019s designed for interaction for young couples, who are starting their family to get out of isolation and find out they are not the only ones on the planet who are encountering these difficulties. Lead the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> and make a difference in the next generation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There is information available on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com about the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can find out more when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have copies of your book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. In fact, we\u2019re making that book available as a thank-you gift today to listeners who want to help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. There have been, today, hundreds of thousands of people all around the country and all around the world who are accessing this program on radio, online, and through mobile app. They are tuned into <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Some of them are saying, \u201cAlexa, play <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>,\u201d and listening that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou make that possible every time you make a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. And we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank for your support today,\u201d by sending you a copy of Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. You can request the book when you make an online donation at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call to donate: 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBe sure to request a copy of the book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>, when you get in touch with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tonight, in six cities across the country, we have <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways happening. I\u2019m going to be speaking in Kansas City this weekend. I\u2019m looking forward to being with listeners in the Kansas City area; but we\u2019ve also got getaways happening this weekend in Albuquerque, New Mexico; Tulsa, Oklahoma; Grand Rapids, Michigan; Cincinnati, Ohio; and Appleton, Wisconsin. We\u2019ve got more getaways happening next weekend and throughout the spring. Pray for the couples who will be attending one of the getaways this weekend. Pray that God will do a work in their life and in their marriage as they spend the weekend with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, thanks to those of you who make these kinds of events possible by helping to support this ministry. We appreciate your partnership with us. By the way, if you\u2019ve never been to a getaway, come join us at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. It\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> weekend for couples. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope <em>you<\/em> have a great weekend this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope you\u2019re able to worship together with your family in your local church. Then, I hope you can join us on Monday when we\u2019re going to celebrate\u2014we\u2019re going to celebrate the impact of more than 26 years\u2019 worth of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Dave and Ann Wilson will be here with us as well. We\u2019ll talk about lessons we\u2019ve learned from the Raineys over the last two-and-a-half decades. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300063","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300063"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300063"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300063"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300063"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300063"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300063"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300063"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}