{"id":300039,"date":"2019-02-01T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-02-01T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/lies-lies-and-more-lies\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:14","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:14","slug":"lies-lies-and-more-lies","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lies-lies-and-more-lies\/","title":{"rendered":"Lies, Lies, and More Lies"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Robert Wolgemuth points out lies the culture promotes that men believe if they&#8217;re not careful. He exposes nine areas where men get deceived, and shares about his childhood and how he learned the consequences of lying.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-02-01.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:57","filesize":"23.75M","filesize_raw":"24908278","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2901,2826,2088],"tags":[4083,4082,4080,2989],"podcast_series":[7165],"cwp_profile":[3178],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300039","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-husbands","category-men","category-romance-and-sex","tag-effects-of-pornography","tag-hidden-sin","tag-lies-men-believe","tag-pornography","podcast_series-lies-men-believe","cwp_profile-robert-wolgemuth","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300039\/lies-lies-and-more-lies","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300039\/lies-lies-and-more-lies","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"zqWrUSxR6h\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lies-lies-and-more-lies\/\">Lies, Lies, and More Lies<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lies-lies-and-more-lies\/embed\/#?secret=zqWrUSxR6h\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Lies, Lies, and More Lies&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"zqWrUSxR6h\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-02-01.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-02-01.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 1<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. When we start to see the truth about this life and the life to come, that truth begins to set us free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know one of the things\u2014and I\u2019ve shared this with you before\u2014my spiritual transformation happened in my life when my understanding of sin changed. I grew up thinking, \u201cSin is the few bad habits that I have, the things that I don\u2019t normally do, and I know I shouldn\u2019t; but the time I cheated on the Latin test\u2014things like\u2014that\u2019s sin.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when somebody sat me down and took me to the Bible and said, \u201cNo, what sin is is the predisposition of your heart to want to rebel against God and say, \u2018I\u2019ll be in charge of my own life,\u2019\u201d all of the sudden, I understood: \u201cOh, wait! I really am a sinner.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019m not a sinner because I\u2019ve done a few bad things. I\u2019m a sinner because I\u2019m constitutionally predisposed to saying, \u2018I\u2019ll be in charge, not You, God.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, and that really leads me, Bob, to doing what I wanted to do with our guest today. We\u2019ve been talking to Robert Wolgemuth. Robert, thanks for coming back and enduring our tough questions\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> You\u2019re welcome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because we\u2019re tossing some\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Like they say in Chick-fil-A, \u201cMy pleasure.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. There you go. Robert has written a book, though, called <em>Lies Men Believe<\/em>. If you haven\u2019t been listening to the broadcast this week, go back and get caught up because we\u2019re talking about gritty stuff here. Robert, in your book, you have nine categories of lies men believe. I\u2019m going to ask you a question, \u201cWhich one is a lie that trips you up the most?\u201d Is there one, or is there a category\u2014one that is not a habit, but is where the enemy assaults and attacks you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you which one mine is to give you a chance to look. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really start with lies men believe about God. I think it\u2019s probably why I like Tozer\u2019s quote, and I\u2019ve probably worn it out here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> in the past five to six years; but he made a statement: \u201cThe most important thing about you as a person is what you think about God\u201d\u2014what comes to mind when you think about God. So, I think where the enemy assaults me is causing me to forget who God is \/ causing me to forget God\u2019s there and tempting me not to believe the truth about God and for me to trust Him in the present and with circumstances. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLife is an interesting journey of determining what you believe and, then, living it out regardless of your circumstances or your feelings. Feelings trip me up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I start trusting them rather than the truth from the Scripture about God, I can fall into a trap. Now, I\u2019ve given you enough time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to say 26\u2014by the way, just for those folks who are listening, there are 40 lies that men believe; and there are 6,000\u2014what am I saying. We\u2019ve chosen 40. [Laughter] That came from a group of friends\u2014I mentioned them in the acknowledgements\u2014who rolled up our sleeves, and we pored through stuff and narrowed it down to 40. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think one of the things that I am vulnerable to is believing that more stuff \/ more money will make me happy. I think, maybe, this\u2014this isn\u2019t necessarily only a man thing, but I think it can be a powerful thing in men\u2019s lives\u2014is the drive to succeed \/ the drive to gather more things \/ more stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, when Nancy and I first got married, and we were doing life together, and she was learning things about a man and how he thinks that she didn\u2019t know before\u2014I said, \u201cNancy, let me help you understand something that happens to me all the time.\u201d I said, \u201cMen compete and compare. We make a game out of stuff even though there is no referee and no chalk lines, and we compare ourselves to others to our own detriment.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of this goes back to theology. A lot of it goes back to what you were saying about God. So, sometimes, I think He\u2019ll love me more if I\u2019m a better boy \/ if I give Him more \/ if I\u2019m nicer to my neighbor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If you perform. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> If I perform; right. So, our stuff makes us who we are. We believe that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just had a conversation with a man who had a good friend whose dad passed away and gave him a garage full of tools. I mean the really cool stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know a Milwaukee reciprocating saw? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Ooh. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> My heart just started to pound. I remember when neighbors move in, the kids play with the neighbors\u2019 toys out front. The women are inside building relationships. The man is standing at his garage looking around going\u2014\u201cThis guy is way cool. I mean his sports equipment, his tools\u2026.\u201d So, we compete and compare, and I think that isolates us emotionally with other folks with men. That\u2019s really one that I\u2019m tempted to believe. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s so interesting. The lottery, these days, is insane. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> What people don\u2019t know is that the worst that could ever happen to them would be to win the lottery. You look at the statistics. The guys that win lose it all. They lose friends. They lose perspective. There are lots of suicides that follow winning the lottery. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m reminded of the Proverb that says, \u201cLord, I pray I make enough so I don\u2019t steal\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbut that I don\u2019t make so much that I forget You, God.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. That\u2019s so good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bob, I saw you glancing at the book. Did you pick one that is one that trips you up? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think the one I\u2019m tempted to believe is that I don\u2019t need male friendships \/ that I can get along without those. Even as we are saying that, our engineer, Keith, is reaching out for a hug in the other room; and I\u2019m just going to ignore that completely because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> All right. I\u2019ve got a great story\u2014a true story. Neil Warren, who founded eHarmony\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014a counselor, psychologist living in Pasadena, California\u2014he and I were having a conversation. He said, \u201cLet me tell you what I do when I\u2019m meeting with a couple, and I say to the woman\u2014the bride \/ the wife\u2014\u2018Tell me about your three closest friends.\u2019 She starts to rattle off\u2014\u2018Well, there is Judy and Joan and\u2014oh, wow, let\u2019s see. What do you mean, like, friend?\u2019 She\u2019s rattling them off. Now, she\u2019s finished.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, Neil says to the guy, \u201cTell me about your three closest friends.\u201d He says, \u201cSo, like, what do you mean friend? Well, there is Dave at work.\u201d We don\u2019t have friends\u2014not like we should. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPart of it is we bring that on ourselves because we\u2019re always directional about our conversations with men. So, you know you\u2019re standing at a neighborhood party, and it\u2019s where you live, what you drive, where you work; but it\u2019s never a phone call from a friend that says, \u201cJust wanted to check in with you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want to talk about lies men believe about sin; but before we get to that, I want you to share the story you share in the book about how you answered that question, \u201cWho your friend was,\u201d right after you had moved from Florida to Michigan in your marriage to Nancy Leigh DeMoss. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Well, you know I had lived in Orlando for 17 years, and I had a pastor who was my closest friend. I dedicate this book to him, Dr. David Swanson. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe church \/ the neighborhood\u2014I was the president of my homeowners\u2019 association. I loved\u2014I knew\u2014I had 39 neighbors. I knew the names of every person, every kid, everything. Now, I am 2,000 miles from home starting all over again. Honestly, this great sense of loneliness came crashing in on me; and I\u2019m thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t have any friends here. I\u2019ve got to start all over again.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, it\u2019s interesting. One of the ways you build friendships is when your kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014play on the soccer team with other\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> You\u2019re standing on the sideline, and you sidle up to a guy and say, \u201cHey, my name is Robert. Tell me about yourself.\u201d When you don\u2019t have that\u2014you know I\u2019m 67. Nancy is 57. So, it\u2019s really hard\u2014that was very hard for me. That was one of the lies that I insisted when my group of buddies got together and said, \u201cWhat are the lies?\u201d That\u2019s got to be one of them\u2014you and I can do just fine without friends, and that\u2019s a lie. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think a lot of men feel that. I appreciate, Bob, your being honest about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think men feel the need for friendships in the same way that women do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We started off by talking about how my own sense of sin was miscalculated early in my spiritual life. One of your major categories here is lies men believe about sin, and the first lie here is what others think I am matters more than who I really am. We tend to have a picture of ourselves that\u2019s not based on what God says is true about me but what other people say is true about me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> So, interesting\u2014in the marketing world, you call that branding. So, what\u2019s my brand? Well, who cares? I want to know who I am, and years ago, Father John Powell wrote a book called <em>Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?<\/em>. Remember that book? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mm-hmm. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> And the answer to the question was: \u201cIf I tell you who I really am, and you don\u2019t like that, that\u2019s all I\u2019ve got.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, protecting myself, I stay away from that, and I sort of play the \u201cThis is who I think you\u2019d like for me to be\u201d. We play this little charade, and it\u2019s not fulfilling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You write in here that the truth we need to believe is that God\u2019s grace is needed both for the phony everyone sees and the scoundrel inside we know so well. We are posers\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014as guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re scoundrels, and we know we\u2019re scoundrels. Unless we understand that, \u201cYes, we do need God\u2019s grace so that we\u2019re less posers \/ that we\u2019re more authentic with\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cone another,\u201d so, we\u2019re over time less scoundrels. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. Well, you know the biggest word on the cover of this book is lies, but the most important word is truth. This is really about John 8:32: \u201cYou shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free.\u201d So, all these lies are leading us toward something that\u2019s more important than gathering up 40 lies. It\u2019s sending us to the truth of God\u2019s Word\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014where we can get stuff fixed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Actually, Robert, the largest word on the cover is men. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It really is men. I\u2019m sorry to have to correct you here about your own book, but the reason I wanted to do that is because I think this is all about men today assuming the full mantle of what God intended upon their lives. It\u2019s faith. It\u2019s belief. It\u2019s embracing the truth about God and about who He says we are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of the lies you address in here is the lie that a guy will believe\u2014that as long as I have good intentions, it doesn\u2019t matter what my behavior is. My good intentions trump that. We can let ourselves off the hook for our performance by saying, \u201cWell, my heart was in the right place.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s like being in a car and going the wrong direction and really believing that you\u2019re going in the right direction. It\u2019s foolishness. It\u2019s just not true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You think, in the Bible, about King Saul who\u2014he believed the lie that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cWell, the real reason that I didn\u2019t kill all the Amalekites is because I wanted to offer these sacrifices to God.\u201d Samuel calls him out and says, \u201cTo obey is better than sacrifice.\u201d This idea that you think, \u201cIf my intentions are right, then, I\u2019m okay.\u201d We\u2019ve got to start off with the reality: Our hearts are not in the right place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s the problem we\u2019re dealing with. The truth you say here is: \u201cGod cares about His rules, and we have to do the same for our own good.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. We talked about the way the book is formatted. Our friends at Moody did such a great job with this. There is, in the back of the book, the 40 truths. So, like <em>CliffNotes<\/em>, in the back of a book, like an index, you can go back; and every one of those truths relates back to a lie. So, you can actually soak in that. Much better for you to soak in truth\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014than to soak in the lie. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014than to soak in the lies; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You also addressed the fact\u2014and this is the thing that tripped me up\u2014\u201cMy sin isn\u2019t really that bad.\u201d So, I thought of myself\u2014really until a friend confronted me with this, I thought of myself as a mostly\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014good person who had a few bad things about me. If Jesus needed to die for those few bad things, I guess that was how God works things out; but I really thought, \u201cI\u2019m a pretty good guy with a few rough edges. Don\u2019t you think most people have that kind of inflated self-opinion? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Because\u2014I talked about competing and comparing because there are always worse guys you can compare yourself to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u201cSo, I\u2019m not that guy. So, I\u2019m good to go.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I was having a conversation with a friend recently; and I said, \u201cYou know, the older I get the less I feel like I truly understand how God views me with grace and with mercy.\u201d I don\u2019t think we have a clue\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014about how filled with sin \/ how imperfect we really are. I think it\u2019s why I\u2019m looking forward to going to heaven. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> And how holy God is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014in the context of what you just said\u2014compared to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014an absolutely holy God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the interesting things about this conversation is the three of us know that women are the primary consumers of books. So, a woman is listening to this conversation; and she\u2019s saying, \u201cAll right. So, how can Charlie get this book?\u201d A million copies of <em>Lies Women Believe<\/em> have sold. So, if a wife would say to her husband, \u201cYou know\u201d\u2014whatever name you give him\u2014\u201choney, I\u2019ve read <em>Lies Women Believe<\/em>. I\u2019ve gone through it with my friends,\u201d it would really mean a lot to me if you\u2019d read this book.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And what I\u2019d encourage a wife to do is say, \u201cYou know what, sweetheart, as you find something that really hits you, I\u2019d love to discuss that with you. I\u2019d love to hear your thoughts on it.\u201d Then, I\u2019d encourage wives to let their husbands talk and create a safe place for them to be real with you. Most guys are intimidated with dipping into a book like this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and most guys may be afraid to talk to their wives about what they\u2019re really thinking and feeling because they are afraid their wives are going to think less of them if they are honest;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014their wives are going to recognize that \u201cI\u2019m not the guy I\u2019m supposed to be\u201d, or \u201cI\u2019m trying to be a poser in front of you. And if I tell you the truth about me, you\u2019ll run out of here as quickly as you can.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe talk about guys who think, \u201cMy sins not that bad.\u201d There are other guys who think, \u201cMy sin is so bad that God\u2019s grace can\u2019t deal with my sin.\u201d The shame and the guilt that some guys are feeling is so significant that they can\u2019t believe God\u2019s grace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Lie 14\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> God could never forgive me for what I\u2019ve done. There are guys who are trapped there. \u201cThere is nothing I can do to separate me\u201d\u2014it\u2019s Romans 8\u2014\u201cnothing I can do that separates me from God\u2019s love.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know I\u2019m thinking of men who have confessed things in groups that are safe. A group of guys get together and finally bring out the raw truth: pornography\u2014a guy saying, \u201cYou know I\u2019m struggling with this, guys. Would you help me? Would you pray for me?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother guy confesses that when he was a young man and single, he paid for his girlfriend\u2019s abortion\u2014haunting images. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we have difficulty in understanding God\u2019s grace and how He really can and does promise absolute cleansing\u2014\u201cas white as snow,\u201d He says. As far as the East is from the West, He\u2019ll remove our sins from us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> You told me that one of the lies that was kind of the biggest Aha! for you, as you were working on this book, was the idea that holiness is boring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. That\u2019s lie 16. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. So, tell us about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Okay, when I was a kid\u2014six or seven or eight years old\u2014holiness was an adjective that described a certain kind of camp, literally. It was the Roxbury Holiness Camp. I\u2019m grateful\u2014let me just say that. I really mean it. I\u2019m grateful for my heritage; but as a kid, holiness was boring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat meant sitting on wood-plank pews listening to preachers go on and on and a grandfather who almost never smiled and a grandmother who really only cared if you were wearing something dark. Just, there was no joy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou could tell visitors in our church because they wore colors. I\u2019m not kidding. So, it was boring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I marry a woman who writes a book about holiness and the joy of holiness. Then, I read\u2014in fact, it\u2019s in the book\u2014a paragraph that her daddy wrote about the pure joy of holy living. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cYou know what? I want some of that. That\u2019s who I want to be. That\u2019s how I want to live.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know I didn\u2019t have a similar experience growing up, but how it showed up in my life\u2014at least I think this is a cousin of this lie\u2014is that heaven is going to be boring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Harps, clouds; right? Cherubs? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What are you going to do for all of eternity, for goodness sakes\u2019? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> No racquet ball courts; come on? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. Number 40, in your book, is the last one; and I think this is something men need to be, I think, exhorted with. Stephen Covey, I think, was the one who coined the words, \u201cBegin with the end in mind.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This is the ultimate end right here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> It is. When I talk about my late-wife\u2019s death, I don\u2019t talk about her death. I talk about her stepping into heaven because she\u2019s not dead. There is a sense in which\u2014in fact, Stephen Covey opens his book with your friends walking past your casket\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014and you\u2019re lying there room temperature, what are they saying about you? That\u2019s the whole \u201c\u2026with the end in mind.\u201d So, this is the truth. This is my life. I held my wife, and she died in my arms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I know what it is to say, \u201cGoodbye,\u201d to your mate of 45\u2014almost 45 years; and to realize in the presence of your children, while that happens, that this is good news \/ this is amazing \/ this is healing. In fact, it\u2019s really\u2014it\u2019s true. Bobbie was completely healed in that moment. Her emaciated, cancer-ridden body was completely healed in that moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHonestly\u2014I mean I really have never been afraid of death, but now, I\u2019m really not at all. You realize the joy that is set before us because we know Christ and because He rose from the dead. That\u2019s real stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The lie that you write about at the end of your book is: \u201cMen believe my death will be the end of my story.\u201d You\u2019re saying the Bible proclaims it\u2019s the beginning\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014of seeing the One who made you face-to-face. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Dr. Ken Boa\u2014and probably others have said this\u2014\u201cWe live in the land of dying,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cand we\u2019re going to the land of the living\u201d\u2014which is the opposite of what we think is true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and Rick Warren said, \u201cThis is life is dress rehearsal for eternity.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Eternity is the real performance. It\u2019s the real\u2014it\u2019s what we\u2019re here for\u2014is eternity. This is preparing us\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Robert:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014for when we\u2019re home for what God has planned for eternity for us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Spoiler alert: It\u2019s a good thing. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I want to thank you, Robert, for being on the broadcast; but I want to end this broadcast by thanking Nancy\u2014Nancy Leigh DeMoss Wolgemuth\u2014for marrying you and for helping you give birth to the companion book that she wrote and has now sold a million copies\u2014<em>Lies Women Believe<\/em>\u2014a book that I hope will be read by millions of men because we live, today, in a crisis in our country: a lack of civility, a lack of men protecting their\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014communities, of calling out one another when they are behaving poorly. I think this is a book for the day. Thanks for writing it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Robert:<\/strong> Thank you; my pleasure. And my prayer is that that is exactly what it\u2019ll do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, imagine a group of guys getting together and going through a lie a week. You could go 40 weeks and just talk about\u2014\u201cIs this something you struggle with? If not, how is it that you don\u2019t struggle with this?\u201d It\u2019d be a great conversation starter for men, and this is the book to help make that happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of Robert Wolgemuth\u2019s book, <em>Lies Men Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free<\/em>. You can order it from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call to order. 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number. Again, the toll-free number is 1-800-358-6329. It\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d; or you can order from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe book is <em>Lies Men Believe<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, this weekend up in Napa Valley, California, we\u2019ve got a sold out group coming to the first <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaway that\u2019s occurring in our spring season. Next weekend, we\u2019re in Norfolk, Virginia; and then, we have conferences starting to happen almost every weekend between now and mid-June. So, be praying for these couples who are in Napa this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those of you who help support this ministry, thanks for your part in helping to make this weekend getaway happen. The cost of all that we do here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014whether it\u2019s this daily radio program, our events, our resources, our website\u2014everything\u2014that cost is covered primarily by folks like you who donate so that we can do all that we\u2019re doing. We\u2019re grateful for your partnership. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019ve never made a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> or if it\u2019s been a while, why don\u2019t you go online today at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate your partnership with us, and we\u2019re always glad to hear from you. Thanks for all you do to make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about why smart women choose the wrong guy. Deepak Reju is going to be here. He has written a book called <em>She\u2019s Got the Wrong Guy<\/em>, and we\u2019ll talk with him on Monday. Hope you can join us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:25:57"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.75M"],"filesize_raw":["24908278"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300039.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300039.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Wolgemuth points out lies the culture promotes that men believe if they're not careful. He exposes nine areas where men get deceived, and shares about his childhood and how he learned the consequences of lying.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-02-01.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 1<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. When we start to see the truth about this life and the life to come, that truth begins to set us free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know one of the things\u2014and I\u2019ve shared this with you before\u2014my spiritual transformation happened in my life when my understanding of sin changed. I grew up thinking, \u201cSin is the few bad habits that I have, the things that I don\u2019t normally do, and I know I shouldn\u2019t; but the time I cheated on the Latin test\u2014things like\u2014that\u2019s sin.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when somebody sat me down and took me to the Bible and said, \u201cNo, what sin is is the predisposition of your heart to want to rebel against God and say, \u2018I\u2019ll be in charge of my own life,\u2019\u201d all of the sudden, I understood: \u201cOh, wait! I really am a sinner.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019m not a sinner because I\u2019ve done a few bad things. I\u2019m a sinner because I\u2019m constitutionally predisposed to saying, \u2018I\u2019ll be in charge, not You, God.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, and that really leads me, Bob, to doing what I wanted to do with our guest today. We\u2019ve been talking to Robert Wolgemuth. Robert, thanks for coming back and enduring our tough questions\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> You\u2019re welcome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because we\u2019re tossing some\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Like they say in Chick-fil-A, \u201cMy pleasure.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. There you go. Robert has written a book, though, called <em>Lies Men Believe<\/em>. If you haven\u2019t been listening to the broadcast this week, go back and get caught up because we\u2019re talking about gritty stuff here. Robert, in your book, you have nine categories of lies men believe. I\u2019m going to ask you a question, \u201cWhich one is a lie that trips you up the most?\u201d Is there one, or is there a category\u2014one that is not a habit, but is where the enemy assaults and attacks you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you which one mine is to give you a chance to look. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really start with lies men believe about God. I think it\u2019s probably why I like Tozer\u2019s quote, and I\u2019ve probably worn it out here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> in the past five to six years; but he made a statement: \u201cThe most important thing about you as a person is what you think about God\u201d\u2014what comes to mind when you think about God. So, I think where the enemy assaults me is causing me to forget who God is \/ causing me to forget God\u2019s there and tempting me not to believe the truth about God and for me to trust Him in the present and with circumstances. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLife is an interesting journey of determining what you believe and, then, living it out regardless of your circumstances or your feelings. Feelings trip me up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I start trusting them rather than the truth from the Scripture about God, I can fall into a trap. Now, I\u2019ve given you enough time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to say 26\u2014by the way, just for those folks who are listening, there are 40 lies that men believe; and there are 6,000\u2014what am I saying. We\u2019ve chosen 40. [Laughter] That came from a group of friends\u2014I mentioned them in the acknowledgements\u2014who rolled up our sleeves, and we pored through stuff and narrowed it down to 40. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think one of the things that I am vulnerable to is believing that more stuff \/ more money will make me happy. I think, maybe, this\u2014this isn\u2019t necessarily only a man thing, but I think it can be a powerful thing in men\u2019s lives\u2014is the drive to succeed \/ the drive to gather more things \/ more stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, when Nancy and I first got married, and we were doing life together, and she was learning things about a man and how he thinks that she didn\u2019t know before\u2014I said, \u201cNancy, let me help you understand something that happens to me all the time.\u201d I said, \u201cMen compete and compare. We make a game out of stuff even though there is no referee and no chalk lines, and we compare ourselves to others to our own detriment.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of this goes back to theology. A lot of it goes back to what you were saying about God. So, sometimes, I think He\u2019ll love me more if I\u2019m a better boy \/ if I give Him more \/ if I\u2019m nicer to my neighbor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If you perform. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> If I perform; right. So, our stuff makes us who we are. We believe that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just had a conversation with a man who had a good friend whose dad passed away and gave him a garage full of tools. I mean the really cool stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know a Milwaukee reciprocating saw? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Ooh. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> My heart just started to pound. I remember when neighbors move in, the kids play with the neighbors\u2019 toys out front. The women are inside building relationships. The man is standing at his garage looking around going\u2014\u201cThis guy is way cool. I mean his sports equipment, his tools\u2026.\u201d So, we compete and compare, and I think that isolates us emotionally with other folks with men. That\u2019s really one that I\u2019m tempted to believe. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s so interesting. The lottery, these days, is insane. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> What people don\u2019t know is that the worst that could ever happen to them would be to win the lottery. You look at the statistics. The guys that win lose it all. They lose friends. They lose perspective. There are lots of suicides that follow winning the lottery. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m reminded of the Proverb that says, \u201cLord, I pray I make enough so I don\u2019t steal\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbut that I don\u2019t make so much that I forget You, God.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. That\u2019s so good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bob, I saw you glancing at the book. Did you pick one that is one that trips you up? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think the one I\u2019m tempted to believe is that I don\u2019t need male friendships \/ that I can get along without those. Even as we are saying that, our engineer, Keith, is reaching out for a hug in the other room; and I\u2019m just going to ignore that completely because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> All right. I\u2019ve got a great story\u2014a true story. Neil Warren, who founded eHarmony\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014a counselor, psychologist living in Pasadena, California\u2014he and I were having a conversation. He said, \u201cLet me tell you what I do when I\u2019m meeting with a couple, and I say to the woman\u2014the bride \/ the wife\u2014\u2018Tell me about your three closest friends.\u2019 She starts to rattle off\u2014\u2018Well, there is Judy and Joan and\u2014oh, wow, let\u2019s see. What do you mean, like, friend?\u2019 She\u2019s rattling them off. Now, she\u2019s finished.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, Neil says to the guy, \u201cTell me about your three closest friends.\u201d He says, \u201cSo, like, what do you mean friend? Well, there is Dave at work.\u201d We don\u2019t have friends\u2014not like we should. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPart of it is we bring that on ourselves because we\u2019re always directional about our conversations with men. So, you know you\u2019re standing at a neighborhood party, and it\u2019s where you live, what you drive, where you work; but it\u2019s never a phone call from a friend that says, \u201cJust wanted to check in with you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want to talk about lies men believe about sin; but before we get to that, I want you to share the story you share in the book about how you answered that question, \u201cWho your friend was,\u201d right after you had moved from Florida to Michigan in your marriage to Nancy Leigh DeMoss. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Well, you know I had lived in Orlando for 17 years, and I had a pastor who was my closest friend. I dedicate this book to him, Dr. David Swanson. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe church \/ the neighborhood\u2014I was the president of my homeowners\u2019 association. I loved\u2014I knew\u2014I had 39 neighbors. I knew the names of every person, every kid, everything. Now, I am 2,000 miles from home starting all over again. Honestly, this great sense of loneliness came crashing in on me; and I\u2019m thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t have any friends here. I\u2019ve got to start all over again.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, it\u2019s interesting. One of the ways you build friendships is when your kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014play on the soccer team with other\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> You\u2019re standing on the sideline, and you sidle up to a guy and say, \u201cHey, my name is Robert. Tell me about yourself.\u201d When you don\u2019t have that\u2014you know I\u2019m 67. Nancy is 57. So, it\u2019s really hard\u2014that was very hard for me. That was one of the lies that I insisted when my group of buddies got together and said, \u201cWhat are the lies?\u201d That\u2019s got to be one of them\u2014you and I can do just fine without friends, and that\u2019s a lie. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think a lot of men feel that. I appreciate, Bob, your being honest about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think men feel the need for friendships in the same way that women do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We started off by talking about how my own sense of sin was miscalculated early in my spiritual life. One of your major categories here is lies men believe about sin, and the first lie here is what others think I am matters more than who I really am. We tend to have a picture of ourselves that\u2019s not based on what God says is true about me but what other people say is true about me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> So, interesting\u2014in the marketing world, you call that branding. So, what\u2019s my brand? Well, who cares? I want to know who I am, and years ago, Father John Powell wrote a book called <em>Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?<\/em>. Remember that book? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mm-hmm. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> And the answer to the question was: \u201cIf I tell you who I really am, and you don\u2019t like that, that\u2019s all I\u2019ve got.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, protecting myself, I stay away from that, and I sort of play the \u201cThis is who I think you\u2019d like for me to be\u201d. We play this little charade, and it\u2019s not fulfilling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You write in here that the truth we need to believe is that God\u2019s grace is needed both for the phony everyone sees and the scoundrel inside we know so well. We are posers\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014as guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re scoundrels, and we know we\u2019re scoundrels. Unless we understand that, \u201cYes, we do need God\u2019s grace so that we\u2019re less posers \/ that we\u2019re more authentic with\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cone another,\u201d so, we\u2019re over time less scoundrels. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. Well, you know the biggest word on the cover of this book is lies, but the most important word is truth. This is really about John 8:32: \u201cYou shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free.\u201d So, all these lies are leading us toward something that\u2019s more important than gathering up 40 lies. It\u2019s sending us to the truth of God\u2019s Word\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014where we can get stuff fixed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Actually, Robert, the largest word on the cover is men. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It really is men. I\u2019m sorry to have to correct you here about your own book, but the reason I wanted to do that is because I think this is all about men today assuming the full mantle of what God intended upon their lives. It\u2019s faith. It\u2019s belief. It\u2019s embracing the truth about God and about who He says we are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of the lies you address in here is the lie that a guy will believe\u2014that as long as I have good intentions, it doesn\u2019t matter what my behavior is. My good intentions trump that. We can let ourselves off the hook for our performance by saying, \u201cWell, my heart was in the right place.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s like being in a car and going the wrong direction and really believing that you\u2019re going in the right direction. It\u2019s foolishness. It\u2019s just not true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You think, in the Bible, about King Saul who\u2014he believed the lie that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cWell, the real reason that I didn\u2019t kill all the Amalekites is because I wanted to offer these sacrifices to God.\u201d Samuel calls him out and says, \u201cTo obey is better than sacrifice.\u201d This idea that you think, \u201cIf my intentions are right, then, I\u2019m okay.\u201d We\u2019ve got to start off with the reality: Our hearts are not in the right place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s the problem we\u2019re dealing with. The truth you say here is: \u201cGod cares about His rules, and we have to do the same for our own good.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. We talked about the way the book is formatted. Our friends at Moody did such a great job with this. There is, in the back of the book, the 40 truths. So, like <em>CliffNotes<\/em>, in the back of a book, like an index, you can go back; and every one of those truths relates back to a lie. So, you can actually soak in that. Much better for you to soak in truth\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014than to soak in the lie. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014than to soak in the lies; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You also addressed the fact\u2014and this is the thing that tripped me up\u2014\u201cMy sin isn\u2019t really that bad.\u201d So, I thought of myself\u2014really until a friend confronted me with this, I thought of myself as a mostly\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014good person who had a few bad things about me. If Jesus needed to die for those few bad things, I guess that was how God works things out; but I really thought, \u201cI\u2019m a pretty good guy with a few rough edges. Don\u2019t you think most people have that kind of inflated self-opinion? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Because\u2014I talked about competing and comparing because there are always worse guys you can compare yourself to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u201cSo, I\u2019m not that guy. So, I\u2019m good to go.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I was having a conversation with a friend recently; and I said, \u201cYou know, the older I get the less I feel like I truly understand how God views me with grace and with mercy.\u201d I don\u2019t think we have a clue\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014about how filled with sin \/ how imperfect we really are. I think it\u2019s why I\u2019m looking forward to going to heaven. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> And how holy God is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014in the context of what you just said\u2014compared to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014an absolutely holy God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the interesting things about this conversation is the three of us know that women are the primary consumers of books. So, a woman is listening to this conversation; and she\u2019s saying, \u201cAll right. So, how can Charlie get this book?\u201d A million copies of <em>Lies Women Believe<\/em> have sold. So, if a wife would say to her husband, \u201cYou know\u201d\u2014whatever name you give him\u2014\u201choney, I\u2019ve read <em>Lies Women Believe<\/em>. I\u2019ve gone through it with my friends,\u201d it would really mean a lot to me if you\u2019d read this book.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And what I\u2019d encourage a wife to do is say, \u201cYou know what, sweetheart, as you find something that really hits you, I\u2019d love to discuss that with you. I\u2019d love to hear your thoughts on it.\u201d Then, I\u2019d encourage wives to let their husbands talk and create a safe place for them to be real with you. Most guys are intimidated with dipping into a book like this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and most guys may be afraid to talk to their wives about what they\u2019re really thinking and feeling because they are afraid their wives are going to think less of them if they are honest;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014their wives are going to recognize that \u201cI\u2019m not the guy I\u2019m supposed to be\u201d, or \u201cI\u2019m trying to be a poser in front of you. And if I tell you the truth about me, you\u2019ll run out of here as quickly as you can.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe talk about guys who think, \u201cMy sins not that bad.\u201d There are other guys who think, \u201cMy sin is so bad that God\u2019s grace can\u2019t deal with my sin.\u201d The shame and the guilt that some guys are feeling is so significant that they can\u2019t believe God\u2019s grace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Lie 14\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> God could never forgive me for what I\u2019ve done. There are guys who are trapped there. \u201cThere is nothing I can do to separate me\u201d\u2014it\u2019s Romans 8\u2014\u201cnothing I can do that separates me from God\u2019s love.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know I\u2019m thinking of men who have confessed things in groups that are safe. A group of guys get together and finally bring out the raw truth: pornography\u2014a guy saying, \u201cYou know I\u2019m struggling with this, guys. Would you help me? Would you pray for me?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother guy confesses that when he was a young man and single, he paid for his girlfriend\u2019s abortion\u2014haunting images. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we have difficulty in understanding God\u2019s grace and how He really can and does promise absolute cleansing\u2014\u201cas white as snow,\u201d He says. As far as the East is from the West, He\u2019ll remove our sins from us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> You told me that one of the lies that was kind of the biggest Aha! for you, as you were working on this book, was the idea that holiness is boring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. That\u2019s lie 16. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. So, tell us about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Okay, when I was a kid\u2014six or seven or eight years old\u2014holiness was an adjective that described a certain kind of camp, literally. It was the Roxbury Holiness Camp. I\u2019m grateful\u2014let me just say that. I really mean it. I\u2019m grateful for my heritage; but as a kid, holiness was boring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat meant sitting on wood-plank pews listening to preachers go on and on and a grandfather who almost never smiled and a grandmother who really only cared if you were wearing something dark. Just, there was no joy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou could tell visitors in our church because they wore colors. I\u2019m not kidding. So, it was boring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I marry a woman who writes a book about holiness and the joy of holiness. Then, I read\u2014in fact, it\u2019s in the book\u2014a paragraph that her daddy wrote about the pure joy of holy living. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cYou know what? I want some of that. That\u2019s who I want to be. That\u2019s how I want to live.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know I didn\u2019t have a similar experience growing up, but how it showed up in my life\u2014at least I think this is a cousin of this lie\u2014is that heaven is going to be boring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Harps, clouds; right? Cherubs? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What are you going to do for all of eternity, for goodness sakes\u2019? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> No racquet ball courts; come on? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. Number 40, in your book, is the last one; and I think this is something men need to be, I think, exhorted with. Stephen Covey, I think, was the one who coined the words, \u201cBegin with the end in mind.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This is the ultimate end right here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> It is. When I talk about my late-wife\u2019s death, I don\u2019t talk about her death. I talk about her stepping into heaven because she\u2019s not dead. There is a sense in which\u2014in fact, Stephen Covey opens his book with your friends walking past your casket\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014and you\u2019re lying there room temperature, what are they saying about you? That\u2019s the whole \u201c\u2026with the end in mind.\u201d So, this is the truth. This is my life. I held my wife, and she died in my arms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I know what it is to say, \u201cGoodbye,\u201d to your mate of 45\u2014almost 45 years; and to realize in the presence of your children, while that happens, that this is good news \/ this is amazing \/ this is healing. In fact, it\u2019s really\u2014it\u2019s true. Bobbie was completely healed in that moment. Her emaciated, cancer-ridden body was completely healed in that moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHonestly\u2014I mean I really have never been afraid of death, but now, I\u2019m really not at all. You realize the joy that is set before us because we know Christ and because He rose from the dead. That\u2019s real stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The lie that you write about at the end of your book is: \u201cMen believe my death will be the end of my story.\u201d You\u2019re saying the Bible proclaims it\u2019s the beginning\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014of seeing the One who made you face-to-face. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Dr. Ken Boa\u2014and probably others have said this\u2014\u201cWe live in the land of dying,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cand we\u2019re going to the land of the living\u201d\u2014which is the opposite of what we think is true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and Rick Warren said, \u201cThis is life is dress rehearsal for eternity.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Eternity is the real performance. It\u2019s the real\u2014it\u2019s what we\u2019re here for\u2014is eternity. This is preparing us\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Robert:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014for when we\u2019re home for what God has planned for eternity for us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Spoiler alert: It\u2019s a good thing. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I want to thank you, Robert, for being on the broadcast; but I want to end this broadcast by thanking Nancy\u2014Nancy Leigh DeMoss Wolgemuth\u2014for marrying you and for helping you give birth to the companion book that she wrote and has now sold a million copies\u2014<em>Lies Women Believe<\/em>\u2014a book that I hope will be read by millions of men because we live, today, in a crisis in our country: a lack of civility, a lack of men protecting their\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014communities, of calling out one another when they are behaving poorly. I think this is a book for the day. Thanks for writing it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Robert:<\/strong> Thank you; my pleasure. And my prayer is that that is exactly what it\u2019ll do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, imagine a group of guys getting together and going through a lie a week. You could go 40 weeks and just talk about\u2014\u201cIs this something you struggle with? If not, how is it that you don\u2019t struggle with this?\u201d It\u2019d be a great conversation starter for men, and this is the book to help make that happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of Robert Wolgemuth\u2019s book, <em>Lies Men Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free<\/em>. You can order it from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call to order. 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number. Again, the toll-free number is 1-800-358-6329. It\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d; or you can order from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe book is <em>Lies Men Believe<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, this weekend up in Napa Valley, California, we\u2019ve got a sold out group coming to the first <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaway that\u2019s occurring in our spring season. Next weekend, we\u2019re in Norfolk, Virginia; and then, we have conferences starting to happen almost every weekend between now and mid-June. So, be praying for these couples who are in Napa this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those of you who help support this ministry, thanks for your part in helping to make this weekend getaway happen. The cost of all that we do here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014whether it\u2019s this daily radio program, our events, our resources, our website\u2014everything\u2014that cost is covered primarily by folks like you who donate so that we can do all that we\u2019re doing. We\u2019re grateful for your partnership. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019ve never made a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> or if it\u2019s been a while, why don\u2019t you go online today at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate your partnership with us, and we\u2019re always glad to hear from you. Thanks for all you do to make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about why smart women choose the wrong guy. Deepak Reju is going to be here. He has written a book called <em>She\u2019s Got the Wrong Guy<\/em>, and we\u2019ll talk with him on Monday. Hope you can join us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. 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