{"id":300037,"date":"2019-01-31T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-01-31T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/lies-men-believe-about-sexuality\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:14","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:14","slug":"lies-men-believe-about-sexuality","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lies-men-believe-about-sexuality\/","title":{"rendered":"Lies Men Believe About Sexuality"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Robert Wolgemuth talks about the many lies men believe about sexuality, like: a little pornography is harmless, my sin isn&#8217;t hurting anyone, what my wife doesn&#8217;t know won&#8217;t hurt her, and more.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-01-31.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:35","filesize":"23.43M","filesize_raw":"24564283","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2901,2826],"tags":[4081,4080],"podcast_series":[7165],"cwp_profile":[3178],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300037","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-husbands","category-men","tag-consequences-of-lying","tag-lies-men-believe","podcast_series-lies-men-believe","cwp_profile-robert-wolgemuth","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300037\/lies-men-believe-about-sexuality","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300037\/lies-men-believe-about-sexuality","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"6Jm6Rf3Vdv\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lies-men-believe-about-sexuality\/\">Lies Men Believe About Sexuality<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lies-men-believe-about-sexuality\/embed\/#?secret=6Jm6Rf3Vdv\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Lies Men Believe About Sexuality&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"6Jm6Rf3Vdv\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-01-31.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-01-31.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In Genesis 3 both Adam and Eve sinned. Robert Wolgemuth believes Adam\u2019s sin was different than Eve\u2019s.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong><a id=\"_Hlk535078823\">If we were able to talk to him and we were able to say, Adam do you know that you were doing the wrong thing? What would he say? Absolutely. He\u2019d gotten the instructions and he was disobeying. So what was going through his mind? I believe what was going through his mind was, I\u2019ll figure this out. <\/a><a id=\"_Hlk535078986\">That\u2019s what we do, we fix stuff. I think that is a male thing. Not every man but a lot of men. The big difference, I think between Adam and Eve, between the lies women believe and the lies men believe, is that women tend to be deceived, men tend to sin with their eyes open. <\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, January 31<sup>st<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are a lot of lies that we are susceptible to as men. There really is only one way to fix any of them. Robert Wolgemuth joins us today to talk about that. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you married somebody who has been meditating for more than a decade on the lies that women believe, and the truth that sets them free\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What are you going to do? You going to have to write\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019re going to have to at least think about the lies men believe and the truth that set them free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That is the name of the book\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014Robert Wolgumuth has written. Robert, welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Thank you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Robert has been in the media business for nearly 40 years. He was a former President of Thomas Nelson and one of his claims to fame is he is married to Nancy Leigh DeMoss Wolgemuth, one of his best cheerleaders in life and who wrote the bestseller, <em>Lies Women Believe<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Yes, she sure is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And so he decided to spend some time writing lies that men and women believe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. We were actually engaged and Nancy said, over the years men authors have said to me, there ought to be a \u2018Lies Men Believe\u2019 book. But she said, I never felt right about that particular person taking this mantle. So I said how do you feel about it now that you\u2019re married to me? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, okay! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, two summers ago we spent the summer on the deck behind our house writing. I wrote <em>Lies Men Believe,<\/em> and she wrote the updated <em>Lies Women Believe<\/em>. So when people would say, how are you doing, we would say we\u2019re writing lies all summer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Spending time meditating on this subject and thinking about ways in which we get tripped up because we\u2019re thinking wrongly about God, about ourselves, about our world, about jobs. What kind of an impact did that have on you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>A lot! My mother used to quote Philippians 4:8 to us until we were tired of it, but I\u2019m so grateful, because it\u2019s about thinking right. Think about these things, whatever is pure, whatever is just, whatever is worth repeating. All those things, she drove that into us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRomans 12, Renew your mind. Every life change begins with a single decision. This is what I\u2019m going to do: I\u2019m going to lose 20 pounds, I\u2019m going to read this book, I\u2019m going to take this course, I\u2019m going to change my career, I\u2019m going to marry this lady. It starts with decisions like that. Then you\u2019re feelings follow. It\u2019s very important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know the Bible as it unfolds the story of humanity after God created male and female there\u2019s a lie. There\u2019s a serpent who bids a question to the woman and the problem is, she bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>The whole point of lies women believe is that Eve was deceived\u2014'hath God said\u2019\u2014slight of hand. So she was deceived. Actually, the Apostle Paul in one of the epistles to Timothy, he says, Eve was deceived but Adam was not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He chose to embrace the lie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s right. If Adam wasn\u2019t deceived, then what was he? I think we\u2019ve come up with the answer. We studied, we prayed about this, we talked to smart people about this, theologians\u2014guys, women who\u2019s doctrine we trust. Here\u2019s the deal. Adam was there. We know that because Eve took the bite. What\u2019s the next thing that happened?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She handed it to the man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> She handed it to him. She didn\u2019t\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Who was with her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>She didn\u2019t toss it across the garden. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a id=\"_Hlk535328084\"><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>He was right there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>So he had access to this conversation between his wife and the serpent. He decided to disobey God rather than embarrass his wife. He chose his wife over the Sovereign God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we were able to talk to him and we were able to say, Adam do you know that you were doing the wrong thing? What would he say? Absolutely. He\u2019d gotten the instructions and he was disobeying. So, what was going through his mind? I believe what was going through his mind was, I\u2019ll figure this out. I\u2019ll cross this bridge when I get to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ll fix it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>That\u2019s what we do, right? We fix stuff. I think that is a male thing. Not every man but a lot of men. I\u2019ve paid special attention in the last couple of years to the news. Guys who are pastors of big churches, authors, well-known Christian leaders who fall, they fall on their noses in public. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow we are having coffee with them and we say, did you know you were doing the wrong thing? What will they say? Absolutely. I wrote about that, I preached about that. I told people about that. So then, what were you thinking? Well, I was thinking that I would be able to work this out. I\u2019d get to the place where I be able to negotiate myself out of it. Or somehow, some way, I\u2019d be able to not have to face what I just did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe big difference, I think between Adam and Eve, between lies men believe and lies women believe is that women tend to be deceived, men tend to sin with their eyes open.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Back last fall I led a group of men in some Bible study. I decided I would cover the traps\u2014wasn\u2019t talking about lies men believe. But I was coming at it from a different angle. I was talking about the traps that men step into. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one is pride. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>There it is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Wanting to have it my way. I want it, I\u2019m going to go get it, and it\u2019s going to be mine. It doesn\u2019t matter what God said. I\u2019m just going to do it. That really is ultimately the bottom line of why Adam was disqualified from the garden. He wanted to be God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He wasn\u2019t willing to submit to the God of the universe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>\u00a0Absolutely! That is the first lie right there. The whole first section of the book, the first five lies, fall under the category, lies men believe about God. Tozer said what a man thinks about God is the most important thing that he thinks about. That is foundational to everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow the average guy walking around the street doesn\u2019t think about that but at the end of the day, his theology is who he is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I remember our mutual friend, Crawford Loritts, was speaking one time, I\u2019ll never forget him saying this, he said most of us\u2014he wasn\u2019t just talking about guys, but I think this is true for guys\u2014he said most of us, when it comes to sin issues in our lives, we don\u2019t want to mortify the flesh, we don\u2019t want to put it to death, we want to manage it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe think of it this way, we think of it as a pet we will keep in the corner, in a cage and we\u2019ll just get it out and pet it from time to time. It\u2019ll be a nice little pet and then put it back in the cage. What we don\u2019t realize is that in that cage it\u2019s growing, and it\u2019s getting stronger and one of these days you let it out of the cage and it consumes you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>It\u2019s not a kitty, it\u2019s a tiger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0So this idea, I\u2019ll fix it that you\u2019re talking about we don\u2019t realize all we are doing is laying up trouble that will one day come crashing down on us if we\u2019re tempting God and His purposes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You talk about nine areas<strong>, <\/strong>and these are global areas, where men get deceived. Lies men believe: about God, about themselves, about sin, about sexuality, marriage and family, work and health, about circumstances, and finally the last one: lies men believe about the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I love, Robert, where you start this thing. Because you quote one of my favorite quotes by Tozer. \u201cThe most important thing about you is what you think about God.\u201d If you don\u2019t think rightly about Him but, God forbid, you believe a lie, you\u2019re really hung at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. I grew up in a home with a great dad. He wasn\u2019t perfect but he was really pretty special. I\u2019m grateful for that. But guys that don\u2019t have that, when you talk about father, talk about dad, and they cringe, they get a sinking feeling in their stomachs, they hated their dad, they didn\u2019t know their dad, whatever. They\u2019re forced to be cycle breakers when it comes to understanding the right concept of God and who He is and how He loves us like He does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Part of what\u2019s happening there is that guys are believing that the flawed father they have is the right picture of their heavenly Father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe lie they\u2019re believing is that God is like the human father I had rather than looking at what the Bible says true about God. And saying this is who God really is. If we have a flawed picture of who God is that\u2019s going to infect our thinking about everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>My favorite picture of God and I think this is why Jesus told this story and is Luke 15. The parable of the prodigal who is out wasting his daddy\u2019s money, so my question to you guys is, when does the father forgive the son? You ask anybody and they\u2019ll say, you know, when he came home. His daddy was big enough to run down the lane to meet him. Nope. His dad forgave him long before that. There\u2019s nothing I can do to earn God\u2019s favor or his forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>As I was reading your book I kept thinking, are there a couple of lies that men embrace, that are unique to them as men? It\u2019s not that a woman couldn\u2019t embrace that lie as well. We talked earlier of how in the garden the serpent lied to both Eve and Adam. Eve was deceived, Adam chose to disobey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, there\u2019s a difference there in how both of them handled the lie. As you think back through what you have written, and I know it\u2019s kind of a challenge because you\u2019ve got 40 different lies, but you\u2019ve got nine categories. Is there an area where you think men get tripped up with lies more than women?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Every woman listening to this question knows what I\u2019m going to say right now about sexuality. I remember the first time I saw pornography. I tell about this in the book. I was on college and there was a scuffle down the hall, guys hustling down to see something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I went down, four doors down, and there was a guy with a magazine. That image is tattooed in my brain and I can see it. But guess what? This morning when I opened my laptop, there was something waiting for me there. I didn\u2019t have to go four doors down, it was there, not necessarily porn; but it could be an invitation to buy a car, or insurance, or toothpaste. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think my computer knows that I\u2019m a man. Because the images that I see in the right margin of my computer screen\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Are using sex to sell that stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Absolutely! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Robert, what\u2019s the lie that\u2019s at work here\u2014when a man is attracted or when a man is drawn to sexual stimulation\u2014what\u2019s the lie behind that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>A little porn is harmless. Just a little click. Again, it is so <em>effortless<\/em>, but it is so insidious. Unfortunately, but maybe fortunately, I have had the joy to work with some guys that are deeply involved in pornography. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGetting off that train is almost impossible. It is such a relentless, daily challenge for them to stop. The lie is: a little porn is harmless. That\u2019s the lie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So a guy who would say, this isn\u2019t hurting anybody, I\u2019m managing this, it\u2019s not getting out of the cage. Actually what\u2019s the big deal? It\u2019s probably helping me stay faithful to my wife because it\u2019s not drawing me to away to real live women.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Well, you\u2019re committing adultery. There\u2019s no two ways about that. It sounds like I\u2019m preaching. Even though I\u2019m speaking into a microphone, I\u2019d rather think of myself as having a cup of coffee back in the corner of Starbucks<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>andsaying this is the truth. I\u2019m not shouting at you. I don\u2019t have a podium, there\u2019s no platform. I love you enough to tell you the truth. You\u2019re in trouble here and you\u2019re going to day by day stop this or it\u2019s going to kill you. You\u2019re being enticed to something but it\u2019s a fraud.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What about the single guy. He\u2019s saying I don\u2019t have any other options. This is the only way that I can try to manage the sexual drive that\u2019s in me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>You have to find other ways to get there. I know that sounds really crazy. But I believe, I mean the Apostle Paul, 1Corinthians 7, talks about the <em>advantages<\/em> of being single. There\u2019s a very special calling for single people. When it comes to that\u2014honestly? I don\u2019t know, that\u2019s the honest answer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if the Lord put that drive in you, the sexual drive, and He says, you know what? Put that away at least for now and pour yourself, the same energy, into introducing people to an intimate relationship with Jesus. That\u2019s what God calls us to, to great things, to conquer, to be daring, to lead, all those things for Kingdom purposes. That is using that same energy for something other than selfish gain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0But there is an enemy of our souls that whispered to David, \u2018don\u2019t go out to battle, look to other women\u2019. One of your lies here is: what my wife doesn\u2019t know won\u2019t hurt her. What\u2019s done in secret, God knows and it will hurt the marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Because it hurts you. If she doesn\u2019t know, okay, I guess you can make a case that it doesn\u2019t hurt her. But it\u2019s killing you. It\u2019s that grinding in your stomach that keeps you awake at night. You wake up in the night and you\u2019re trying to go back to sleep. Isn\u2019t it interesting in the night how things are bigger than they really are.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve done this. You\u2019re working on a problem, you\u2019ve got something at the office, you have a problem to solve, a big proposal that\u2019s coming in. All those things get bigger and bigger and bigger in the night. When you\u2019re struggling with something like this, the antecedent is pornography, infidelity, whatever it is, lying, believing lies, it gets bigger and bigger and it keeps you awake.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I have to tell you, even if you\u2019re sleeping soundly as a man, what you don\u2019t know is that the seeds you have sown are having a subtle impact on the intimacy you are having with your wife. I don\u2019t know how many times we have talked to wives who are saying, you know, my husband is just not as interested in intimacy as he used to be. Often times the reason he is not interested is because he\u2019s getting fulfillment elsewhere, where it\u2019s easier; and there\u2019s no conflict. He\u2019d just rather take the path of least resistance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou don\u2019t recognize that what you\u2019re doing is pressing your marriage in the direction of isolation. What you are sowing will someday pop up in other parts of your relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>\u00a0And she doesn\u2019t have the man that she married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0That\u2019s right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>It\u2019s interesting, one of the symptoms of all that we\u2019re talking about now is lethargy and passivity. That is an epidemic in this country. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPassive, lethargic men. Some of these are guys, 30 years old and coming back home to live with their parents. They\u2019ve lost the will to do something daring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis, you have written about this. Your <em>Stepping Up<\/em> book, I loved it. That\u2019s what it is. It\u2019s a call to something greater than what you\u2019re experiencing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>To step away from self and step up to become what and who God made you to be. Barbara and I were sitting by the fire the other day and we were just talking about how we were made to share life together but also to minister to one another\u2019s souls. I don\u2019t understand all I know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I believe that sex in marriage is profoundly spiritual. I think it has an impact on our soul. I don\u2019t think God separates all this in different component parts. I think God made us to be one physically but also one in our souls in marriage. To do that I think you have to <em>delight<\/em> in each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>It\u2019s a picture of what our relationship with Jesus is supposed to look like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mary Ann and I have had this conversation because there have been stretches in our marriages where there have been seasons where, for whatever reason, a lot of travel, or pregnancy, you can name the seasons, where you\u2019re just not together as often as you might otherwise be in a marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what we\u2019ve noticed. The dynamic of your relationship is different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo the discipline of regular intimacy in a marriage relationship is a discipline that builds a tighter relationship, martially. So to the guy who is saying, I\u2019m just going to take care of this another way, what you are saying is, I\u2019m going to siphon off some of the relational dynamic. I\u2019m going to waste it elsewhere and not build into the marriage as I ought.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>God made us for each other and sometimes it doesn\u2019t feel convenient. But, it\u2019s interesting, if my goal is that sex is the expression of our relationship instead of the fulfillment of it that makes a big difference. If my task is to please my wife, then my joy comes from that not looking for it for myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Sex is not to please self, it is about self-sacrifice. If you are demanding, if you are not compassionate and understanding, and honestly, I look back on our lives when we started out our marriage and had six kids in ten years, and what it takes from a woman to be a mother of six before she even steps a foot into the bedroom to be my wife. I was not that compassionate. I should have expressed compassion and so I\u2019m trying to make up for some lost years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>So what would the lie be there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Sex is about me, not us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>That\u2019s it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe got there by talking about pornography and I think it\u2019s fair enough that we spend that much time on that because it is epidemic to a degree we can\u2019t even conceive of. I don\u2019t want this conversation to be just about that, but there are single guys that I want to be able to read this book, enjoy it, and learn from it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in this context, we\u2019re talking about married men who believe the lie that this is about them instead of their wives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>All of life is one long journey determining who you\u2019re going to believe. And what you\u2019re going to embrace. I think the lesson from today\u2019s broadcast is turn away from fantasy. If you\u2019re a single person embrace friendships but keep your distance sexually from an expression of sex toward the opposite sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re married and you\u2019re hung up on pornography, find a close brother, someone you can trust because you\u2019re not going to get out of the trap by yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Confess it and then find the time and get the counsel that is needed and necessary to talk with your wife about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>\u00a0I have a very good friend who was caught up in it. He changed his password to <em>Jesus<\/em> on his computer. He just knew every time he put those letters in, that he had a friend closer than a brother, but a Sovereign God who was paying attention.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think we come back to the main premise which is our behavior comes out of what we believe. When you are looking at pornography or when you are being pulled away from your marriage, you\u2019ve got to come back and say what is it that I am really believing is true here, that I\u2019m going to find more fulfillment outside than inside my marriage, that God\u2019s ways about sexuality are restrictive and unhelpful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese are the lies we have to correct with the truth. That\u2019s where you take us in your book, <em>Lies Men Believe<\/em>, which is a book that we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go online to <a id=\"_Hlk535327216\">FamilyLifeToday<\/a>.com to order a copy or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-358-6329 to get a copy of Robert\u2019s book, <em>Lies Men Believe<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a great book to go through with other guys. You can have an extended men\u2019s group study through this book because there are 40 lies addressed in the book. If you took a lie a week you\u2019d go the better part of a year going through <em>Lies Men Believe<\/em>. Again order the book online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FLTODAY to get your copy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were just at a training event together with couples who speak at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the great opportunities we had there was to hear from them all the stories of how God has been at work through the ministry of FamilyLife over the past year. We heard about couples who had reconciled, about adjustments that couples made in their marriage that helped them chart a new course for where they are headed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese couples who speak at our events wanted me to thank those of you who support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, to making all that we do possible through this radio program, through our events, through our resources. They get to see first-hand, the results that are happening as a result of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou make that possible every time you donate to support this ministry. Those of you who are monthly Legacy Partners, thank you for your on-going faithful support of the ministry and those who will from time to time make a donation, thank you for pitching in when you can and for all that you do. You make FamilyLife Today possible. You are helping us to bring practical, biblical help and hope to marriages and families. We\u2019re grateful for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are able to help with a donation today you can do it o line at FamilyLife Today.com or call to donate 1-800-FLTODAY is our number and again thanks in advance for partnering with us in the ministry of FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope you can join us back tomorrow. Robert Wolgemuth is going to be here again. We are going to continue to talk about lies men believe and the truth that sets us free. Hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:25:35"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.43M"],"filesize_raw":["24564283"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300037.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300037.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Wolgemuth talks about the many lies men believe about sexuality, like: a little pornography is harmless, my sin isn't hurting anyone, what my wife doesn't know won't hurt her, and more.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-01-31.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In Genesis 3 both Adam and Eve sinned. Robert Wolgemuth believes Adam\u2019s sin was different than Eve\u2019s.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong><a id=\"_Hlk535078823\">If we were able to talk to him and we were able to say, Adam do you know that you were doing the wrong thing? What would he say? Absolutely. He\u2019d gotten the instructions and he was disobeying. So what was going through his mind? I believe what was going through his mind was, I\u2019ll figure this out. <\/a><a id=\"_Hlk535078986\">That\u2019s what we do, we fix stuff. I think that is a male thing. Not every man but a lot of men. The big difference, I think between Adam and Eve, between the lies women believe and the lies men believe, is that women tend to be deceived, men tend to sin with their eyes open. <\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, January 31<sup>st<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are a lot of lies that we are susceptible to as men. There really is only one way to fix any of them. Robert Wolgemuth joins us today to talk about that. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you married somebody who has been meditating for more than a decade on the lies that women believe, and the truth that sets them free\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What are you going to do? You going to have to write\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019re going to have to at least think about the lies men believe and the truth that set them free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That is the name of the book\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014Robert Wolgumuth has written. Robert, welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Thank you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Robert has been in the media business for nearly 40 years. He was a former President of Thomas Nelson and one of his claims to fame is he is married to Nancy Leigh DeMoss Wolgemuth, one of his best cheerleaders in life and who wrote the bestseller, <em>Lies Women Believe<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Yes, she sure is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And so he decided to spend some time writing lies that men and women believe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. We were actually engaged and Nancy said, over the years men authors have said to me, there ought to be a \u2018Lies Men Believe\u2019 book. But she said, I never felt right about that particular person taking this mantle. So I said how do you feel about it now that you\u2019re married to me? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, okay! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, two summers ago we spent the summer on the deck behind our house writing. I wrote <em>Lies Men Believe,<\/em> and she wrote the updated <em>Lies Women Believe<\/em>. So when people would say, how are you doing, we would say we\u2019re writing lies all summer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Spending time meditating on this subject and thinking about ways in which we get tripped up because we\u2019re thinking wrongly about God, about ourselves, about our world, about jobs. What kind of an impact did that have on you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>A lot! My mother used to quote Philippians 4:8 to us until we were tired of it, but I\u2019m so grateful, because it\u2019s about thinking right. Think about these things, whatever is pure, whatever is just, whatever is worth repeating. All those things, she drove that into us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRomans 12, Renew your mind. Every life change begins with a single decision. This is what I\u2019m going to do: I\u2019m going to lose 20 pounds, I\u2019m going to read this book, I\u2019m going to take this course, I\u2019m going to change my career, I\u2019m going to marry this lady. It starts with decisions like that. Then you\u2019re feelings follow. It\u2019s very important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know the Bible as it unfolds the story of humanity after God created male and female there\u2019s a lie. There\u2019s a serpent who bids a question to the woman and the problem is, she bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>The whole point of lies women believe is that Eve was deceived\u2014'hath God said\u2019\u2014slight of hand. So she was deceived. Actually, the Apostle Paul in one of the epistles to Timothy, he says, Eve was deceived but Adam was not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He chose to embrace the lie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s right. If Adam wasn\u2019t deceived, then what was he? I think we\u2019ve come up with the answer. We studied, we prayed about this, we talked to smart people about this, theologians\u2014guys, women who\u2019s doctrine we trust. Here\u2019s the deal. Adam was there. We know that because Eve took the bite. What\u2019s the next thing that happened?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She handed it to the man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> She handed it to him. She didn\u2019t\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Who was with her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>She didn\u2019t toss it across the garden. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a id=\"_Hlk535328084\"><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>He was right there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>So he had access to this conversation between his wife and the serpent. He decided to disobey God rather than embarrass his wife. He chose his wife over the Sovereign God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we were able to talk to him and we were able to say, Adam do you know that you were doing the wrong thing? What would he say? Absolutely. He\u2019d gotten the instructions and he was disobeying. So, what was going through his mind? I believe what was going through his mind was, I\u2019ll figure this out. I\u2019ll cross this bridge when I get to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ll fix it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>That\u2019s what we do, right? We fix stuff. I think that is a male thing. Not every man but a lot of men. I\u2019ve paid special attention in the last couple of years to the news. Guys who are pastors of big churches, authors, well-known Christian leaders who fall, they fall on their noses in public. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow we are having coffee with them and we say, did you know you were doing the wrong thing? What will they say? Absolutely. I wrote about that, I preached about that. I told people about that. So then, what were you thinking? Well, I was thinking that I would be able to work this out. I\u2019d get to the place where I be able to negotiate myself out of it. Or somehow, some way, I\u2019d be able to not have to face what I just did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe big difference, I think between Adam and Eve, between lies men believe and lies women believe is that women tend to be deceived, men tend to sin with their eyes open.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Back last fall I led a group of men in some Bible study. I decided I would cover the traps\u2014wasn\u2019t talking about lies men believe. But I was coming at it from a different angle. I was talking about the traps that men step into. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one is pride. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>There it is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Wanting to have it my way. I want it, I\u2019m going to go get it, and it\u2019s going to be mine. It doesn\u2019t matter what God said. I\u2019m just going to do it. That really is ultimately the bottom line of why Adam was disqualified from the garden. He wanted to be God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He wasn\u2019t willing to submit to the God of the universe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>\u00a0Absolutely! That is the first lie right there. The whole first section of the book, the first five lies, fall under the category, lies men believe about God. Tozer said what a man thinks about God is the most important thing that he thinks about. That is foundational to everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow the average guy walking around the street doesn\u2019t think about that but at the end of the day, his theology is who he is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I remember our mutual friend, Crawford Loritts, was speaking one time, I\u2019ll never forget him saying this, he said most of us\u2014he wasn\u2019t just talking about guys, but I think this is true for guys\u2014he said most of us, when it comes to sin issues in our lives, we don\u2019t want to mortify the flesh, we don\u2019t want to put it to death, we want to manage it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe think of it this way, we think of it as a pet we will keep in the corner, in a cage and we\u2019ll just get it out and pet it from time to time. It\u2019ll be a nice little pet and then put it back in the cage. What we don\u2019t realize is that in that cage it\u2019s growing, and it\u2019s getting stronger and one of these days you let it out of the cage and it consumes you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>It\u2019s not a kitty, it\u2019s a tiger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0So this idea, I\u2019ll fix it that you\u2019re talking about we don\u2019t realize all we are doing is laying up trouble that will one day come crashing down on us if we\u2019re tempting God and His purposes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You talk about nine areas<strong>, <\/strong>and these are global areas, where men get deceived. Lies men believe: about God, about themselves, about sin, about sexuality, marriage and family, work and health, about circumstances, and finally the last one: lies men believe about the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I love, Robert, where you start this thing. Because you quote one of my favorite quotes by Tozer. \u201cThe most important thing about you is what you think about God.\u201d If you don\u2019t think rightly about Him but, God forbid, you believe a lie, you\u2019re really hung at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. I grew up in a home with a great dad. He wasn\u2019t perfect but he was really pretty special. I\u2019m grateful for that. But guys that don\u2019t have that, when you talk about father, talk about dad, and they cringe, they get a sinking feeling in their stomachs, they hated their dad, they didn\u2019t know their dad, whatever. They\u2019re forced to be cycle breakers when it comes to understanding the right concept of God and who He is and how He loves us like He does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Part of what\u2019s happening there is that guys are believing that the flawed father they have is the right picture of their heavenly Father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe lie they\u2019re believing is that God is like the human father I had rather than looking at what the Bible says true about God. And saying this is who God really is. If we have a flawed picture of who God is that\u2019s going to infect our thinking about everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>My favorite picture of God and I think this is why Jesus told this story and is Luke 15. The parable of the prodigal who is out wasting his daddy\u2019s money, so my question to you guys is, when does the father forgive the son? You ask anybody and they\u2019ll say, you know, when he came home. His daddy was big enough to run down the lane to meet him. Nope. His dad forgave him long before that. There\u2019s nothing I can do to earn God\u2019s favor or his forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>As I was reading your book I kept thinking, are there a couple of lies that men embrace, that are unique to them as men? It\u2019s not that a woman couldn\u2019t embrace that lie as well. We talked earlier of how in the garden the serpent lied to both Eve and Adam. Eve was deceived, Adam chose to disobey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, there\u2019s a difference there in how both of them handled the lie. As you think back through what you have written, and I know it\u2019s kind of a challenge because you\u2019ve got 40 different lies, but you\u2019ve got nine categories. Is there an area where you think men get tripped up with lies more than women?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Every woman listening to this question knows what I\u2019m going to say right now about sexuality. I remember the first time I saw pornography. I tell about this in the book. I was on college and there was a scuffle down the hall, guys hustling down to see something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I went down, four doors down, and there was a guy with a magazine. That image is tattooed in my brain and I can see it. But guess what? This morning when I opened my laptop, there was something waiting for me there. I didn\u2019t have to go four doors down, it was there, not necessarily porn; but it could be an invitation to buy a car, or insurance, or toothpaste. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think my computer knows that I\u2019m a man. Because the images that I see in the right margin of my computer screen\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Are using sex to sell that stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Absolutely! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Robert, what\u2019s the lie that\u2019s at work here\u2014when a man is attracted or when a man is drawn to sexual stimulation\u2014what\u2019s the lie behind that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>A little porn is harmless. Just a little click. Again, it is so <em>effortless<\/em>, but it is so insidious. Unfortunately, but maybe fortunately, I have had the joy to work with some guys that are deeply involved in pornography. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGetting off that train is almost impossible. It is such a relentless, daily challenge for them to stop. The lie is: a little porn is harmless. That\u2019s the lie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So a guy who would say, this isn\u2019t hurting anybody, I\u2019m managing this, it\u2019s not getting out of the cage. Actually what\u2019s the big deal? It\u2019s probably helping me stay faithful to my wife because it\u2019s not drawing me to away to real live women.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Well, you\u2019re committing adultery. There\u2019s no two ways about that. It sounds like I\u2019m preaching. Even though I\u2019m speaking into a microphone, I\u2019d rather think of myself as having a cup of coffee back in the corner of Starbucks<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>andsaying this is the truth. I\u2019m not shouting at you. I don\u2019t have a podium, there\u2019s no platform. I love you enough to tell you the truth. You\u2019re in trouble here and you\u2019re going to day by day stop this or it\u2019s going to kill you. You\u2019re being enticed to something but it\u2019s a fraud.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What about the single guy. He\u2019s saying I don\u2019t have any other options. This is the only way that I can try to manage the sexual drive that\u2019s in me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>You have to find other ways to get there. I know that sounds really crazy. But I believe, I mean the Apostle Paul, 1Corinthians 7, talks about the <em>advantages<\/em> of being single. There\u2019s a very special calling for single people. When it comes to that\u2014honestly? I don\u2019t know, that\u2019s the honest answer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if the Lord put that drive in you, the sexual drive, and He says, you know what? Put that away at least for now and pour yourself, the same energy, into introducing people to an intimate relationship with Jesus. That\u2019s what God calls us to, to great things, to conquer, to be daring, to lead, all those things for Kingdom purposes. That is using that same energy for something other than selfish gain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0But there is an enemy of our souls that whispered to David, \u2018don\u2019t go out to battle, look to other women\u2019. One of your lies here is: what my wife doesn\u2019t know won\u2019t hurt her. What\u2019s done in secret, God knows and it will hurt the marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Because it hurts you. If she doesn\u2019t know, okay, I guess you can make a case that it doesn\u2019t hurt her. But it\u2019s killing you. It\u2019s that grinding in your stomach that keeps you awake at night. You wake up in the night and you\u2019re trying to go back to sleep. Isn\u2019t it interesting in the night how things are bigger than they really are.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve done this. You\u2019re working on a problem, you\u2019ve got something at the office, you have a problem to solve, a big proposal that\u2019s coming in. All those things get bigger and bigger and bigger in the night. When you\u2019re struggling with something like this, the antecedent is pornography, infidelity, whatever it is, lying, believing lies, it gets bigger and bigger and it keeps you awake.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I have to tell you, even if you\u2019re sleeping soundly as a man, what you don\u2019t know is that the seeds you have sown are having a subtle impact on the intimacy you are having with your wife. I don\u2019t know how many times we have talked to wives who are saying, you know, my husband is just not as interested in intimacy as he used to be. Often times the reason he is not interested is because he\u2019s getting fulfillment elsewhere, where it\u2019s easier; and there\u2019s no conflict. He\u2019d just rather take the path of least resistance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou don\u2019t recognize that what you\u2019re doing is pressing your marriage in the direction of isolation. What you are sowing will someday pop up in other parts of your relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>\u00a0And she doesn\u2019t have the man that she married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0That\u2019s right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>It\u2019s interesting, one of the symptoms of all that we\u2019re talking about now is lethargy and passivity. That is an epidemic in this country. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPassive, lethargic men. Some of these are guys, 30 years old and coming back home to live with their parents. They\u2019ve lost the will to do something daring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis, you have written about this. Your <em>Stepping Up<\/em> book, I loved it. That\u2019s what it is. It\u2019s a call to something greater than what you\u2019re experiencing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>To step away from self and step up to become what and who God made you to be. Barbara and I were sitting by the fire the other day and we were just talking about how we were made to share life together but also to minister to one another\u2019s souls. I don\u2019t understand all I know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I believe that sex in marriage is profoundly spiritual. I think it has an impact on our soul. I don\u2019t think God separates all this in different component parts. I think God made us to be one physically but also one in our souls in marriage. To do that I think you have to <em>delight<\/em> in each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>It\u2019s a picture of what our relationship with Jesus is supposed to look like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mary Ann and I have had this conversation because there have been stretches in our marriages where there have been seasons where, for whatever reason, a lot of travel, or pregnancy, you can name the seasons, where you\u2019re just not together as often as you might otherwise be in a marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what we\u2019ve noticed. The dynamic of your relationship is different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo the discipline of regular intimacy in a marriage relationship is a discipline that builds a tighter relationship, martially. So to the guy who is saying, I\u2019m just going to take care of this another way, what you are saying is, I\u2019m going to siphon off some of the relational dynamic. I\u2019m going to waste it elsewhere and not build into the marriage as I ought.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>God made us for each other and sometimes it doesn\u2019t feel convenient. But, it\u2019s interesting, if my goal is that sex is the expression of our relationship instead of the fulfillment of it that makes a big difference. If my task is to please my wife, then my joy comes from that not looking for it for myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Sex is not to please self, it is about self-sacrifice. If you are demanding, if you are not compassionate and understanding, and honestly, I look back on our lives when we started out our marriage and had six kids in ten years, and what it takes from a woman to be a mother of six before she even steps a foot into the bedroom to be my wife. I was not that compassionate. I should have expressed compassion and so I\u2019m trying to make up for some lost years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>So what would the lie be there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Sex is about me, not us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>That\u2019s it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe got there by talking about pornography and I think it\u2019s fair enough that we spend that much time on that because it is epidemic to a degree we can\u2019t even conceive of. I don\u2019t want this conversation to be just about that, but there are single guys that I want to be able to read this book, enjoy it, and learn from it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in this context, we\u2019re talking about married men who believe the lie that this is about them instead of their wives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>All of life is one long journey determining who you\u2019re going to believe. And what you\u2019re going to embrace. I think the lesson from today\u2019s broadcast is turn away from fantasy. If you\u2019re a single person embrace friendships but keep your distance sexually from an expression of sex toward the opposite sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re married and you\u2019re hung up on pornography, find a close brother, someone you can trust because you\u2019re not going to get out of the trap by yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Confess it and then find the time and get the counsel that is needed and necessary to talk with your wife about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>\u00a0I have a very good friend who was caught up in it. He changed his password to <em>Jesus<\/em> on his computer. He just knew every time he put those letters in, that he had a friend closer than a brother, but a Sovereign God who was paying attention.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think we come back to the main premise which is our behavior comes out of what we believe. When you are looking at pornography or when you are being pulled away from your marriage, you\u2019ve got to come back and say what is it that I am really believing is true here, that I\u2019m going to find more fulfillment outside than inside my marriage, that God\u2019s ways about sexuality are restrictive and unhelpful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese are the lies we have to correct with the truth. That\u2019s where you take us in your book, <em>Lies Men Believe<\/em>, which is a book that we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go online to <a id=\"_Hlk535327216\">FamilyLifeToday<\/a>.com to order a copy or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-358-6329 to get a copy of Robert\u2019s book, <em>Lies Men Believe<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a great book to go through with other guys. You can have an extended men\u2019s group study through this book because there are 40 lies addressed in the book. If you took a lie a week you\u2019d go the better part of a year going through <em>Lies Men Believe<\/em>. Again order the book online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FLTODAY to get your copy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were just at a training event together with couples who speak at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the great opportunities we had there was to hear from them all the stories of how God has been at work through the ministry of FamilyLife over the past year. We heard about couples who had reconciled, about adjustments that couples made in their marriage that helped them chart a new course for where they are headed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese couples who speak at our events wanted me to thank those of you who support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, to making all that we do possible through this radio program, through our events, through our resources. They get to see first-hand, the results that are happening as a result of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou make that possible every time you donate to support this ministry. Those of you who are monthly Legacy Partners, thank you for your on-going faithful support of the ministry and those who will from time to time make a donation, thank you for pitching in when you can and for all that you do. You make FamilyLife Today possible. You are helping us to bring practical, biblical help and hope to marriages and families. We\u2019re grateful for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are able to help with a donation today you can do it o line at FamilyLife Today.com or call to donate 1-800-FLTODAY is our number and again thanks in advance for partnering with us in the ministry of FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope you can join us back tomorrow. Robert Wolgemuth is going to be here again. We are going to continue to talk about lies men believe and the truth that sets us free. Hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300037","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300037"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300037"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300037"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300037"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300037"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300037"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300037"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}