{"id":298267,"date":"2024-09-24T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-09-24T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/marriage-the-meaning-of-encouragement-dane-ortlund\/"},"modified":"2024-11-19T04:14:43","modified_gmt":"2024-11-19T09:14:43","slug":"marriage-the-meaning-of-encouragement-dane-ortlund","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/marriage-the-meaning-of-encouragement-dane-ortlund\/","title":{"rendered":"Marriage &#038; The Meaning of Encouragement: Dane Ortlund"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Your spouse needs your encouragement. Worried about empty words or awkwardness? Listen as Dane Ortlund explores the meaning of encouragement in marriage in this special episode, presented by Dave and Ann Wilson and recorded on FamilyLife&#8217;s &#8220;Love Like You Mean It&#8221; Cruise!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your spouse needs your encouragement. Worried about empty words or awkwardness? Listen as Dane Ortlund explores the meaning of encouragement in marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280865,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/1fb72f2d-2192-4937-a7e0-b1e6011721bb\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:21","filesize":"23.25M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2024-09-24 08:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2082],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3628],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-298267","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","cwp_profile-dane-ortlund","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/298267\/marriage-the-meaning-of-encouragement-dane-ortlund","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/298267\/marriage-the-meaning-of-encouragement-dane-ortlund","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"iYcMnkVV9d\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/marriage-the-meaning-of-encouragement-dane-ortlund\/\">Marriage &#038; The Meaning of Encouragement: Dane Ortlund<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/marriage-the-meaning-of-encouragement-dane-ortlund\/embed\/#?secret=iYcMnkVV9d\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Marriage &#038; The Meaning of Encouragement: Dane Ortlund&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"iYcMnkVV9d\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["1fb72f2d-2192-4937-a7e0-b1e6011721bb"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/1fb72f2d-2192-4937-a7e0-b1e6011721bb\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:25:21"],"filesize":["23.25M"],"_thumbnail_id":["280865"],"show_notes":["\n<ul>\n<li>Connect with Dane Ortlund and catch more of their thoughts at <a href=\"http:\/\/daneortlund.com\/\">daneortlund.com<\/a>, or on <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/daneortlund\">X<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Find more FamilyLife Today episodes featuring Dane Ortlund <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?s=dane+ortlund\">here<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Join us aboard the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lovelikeyoumeanitcruise.com\/\">Love Like You Mean It Marriage Cruise<\/a> from February 8-15 for an exclusive journey dedicated to strengthening your marriage.<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n"],"transcript_content":["\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript\r\n\r\nReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.\r\n\r\nMarriage and the Meaning of Encouragement\r\n\r\nGuest:Dane Ortlund\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Marriage and the Meaning of Encouragement (Day 1 of 1)\r\n\r\nAir date:September 24, 2024\r\n\r\nDane: \u201cI hear you, Dane. Honestly, Dude, I feel a little awkward giving sincere, specific encouragement to my spouse.\u201d\r\n\r\nShelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\nAnn: This is FamilyLife Today!\r\n\r\nAnn: This is going to be a fun day today.\r\n\r\nDave: Why is that?\r\n\r\nAnn: One, we\u2019re going to\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014because we\u2019re together. You\u2019re with me. I\u2019m with you.\r\n\r\nAnn: Of course; that\u2019s always the best. But we\u2019re also going to be listening to Dane Ortlund today.\r\n\r\nDave: That\u2019s a good day.\r\n\r\nAnn: It\u2019s a message that he gave on the Love Like You Mean It\u00ae marriage cruise last Spring.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes. We were there in February. The sun was out, the wind was blowing. Thousands of couples on this boat. FamilyLife has done the Love Like You Mean It  cruise for over 15 years, and we\u2019ve been on a lot of them. \r\n\r\nI\u2019m not even a cruise guy. I wouldn\u2019t choose a cruise for my vacation, but this cruise is the best thing ever, because it's not just a vacation. You\u2019re working on your marriage. Every night there is a keynote talk on marriage; there are breakout sessions on topics that relate to your marriage; there are comedians on the boat; there are great bands and music; there is great food.\r\n\r\nAnn: But you are also doing excursions and getting off the boat. It\u2019s fun. And it\u2019s for every age group, every phase of marriage. If you have little kids, you need to get away. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: If you have teenagers, you need to get away. If you are empty nesters\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014you need to get away.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes. And, maybe, bring some friends with you. Or, if you are a parent, bring those adult kids or send them on the Love Like You Mean It marriage cruise.\r\n\r\nDave: We will be on the Love Like You Mean It cruise, speaking, next February. We\u2019d love to have you guys with us. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and sign up to join and be there with us.\r\n\r\nYou\u2019re going to hear talks like we\u2019re going to hear today from Dane Ortlund. He gave this talk last year. This is a topic that not a lot of people talk about. Although, you [Dane] are writing a book. You just wrote a book.\r\n\r\nAnn: This is my language right here. He\u2019s really talking about encouragement and the power that we have, and how marriage can be transformed by the encouragement we give our spouse. \r\n\r\nHere\u2019s Dane Ortlund:\r\n\r\n[Previously Recorded]\r\n\r\nDane: First definition: what do we mean by biblical encouragement? You might hear something like, \u201cHey, I just want to encourage you to get up 30 minutes earlier and pray more. I want to encourage you to be more generous with your money.\u201d \r\n\r\nThat is not what I am talking about. That is not encouragement. That is law. That\u2019s \u201cshape up.\u201d What I mean by encouragement is the following: \r\n\r\nThat subset of Christian love\u2014a species of love; that subset of Christian love\u2014that identifies specific marks of God\u2019s presence in the life\u2014we\u2019re talking about marriage here\u2014in the life of our spouse with words to our spouse without joking, without a concluding, sarcastic comment that\u2019s actually retracting what you just said and emptying it. There\u2019s a time for jokes, but not in encouragement as I am commending to you.\r\n\r\nThat subset of Christian love that identifies specific\u2014specificity, concrete. \r\n\r\n\u201cI saw the way you greeted Jennifer at church this morning. She was in some distress, that was clear. You interacted with her with listening and love. God [through] the Holy Spirit must be alive and well in you.\u201d [Or] \u201cI know that you desire to grow in gentleness. I don\u2019t know if you see that. I see God doing that in you.\u201d Something like that.\r\n\r\nNow, you may already have objections rising up about this, so just hang in there with me. That\u2019s my definition of it.\r\n\r\nThree reasons we\u2019re reflecting on encouragement today.\r\n\r\nEncouragement is neglected in our churches and in our marriages today. \r\n\r\nDo you think about it? Do you talk about it? Do you hear\u2014when was the last sermon you heard (or Sunday School class) where you heard about encouragement? Most of my life, I have neglected it. I have viewed it as nice, but frothy. I just want you to know that I no longer feel that way or believe that way about encouragement. \r\n\r\nEncouragement has disproportionate power. \r\n\r\nC.S. Lewis died in 1963. He was friends with J.R.R. Tolkien. Tolkien wrote a letter in 1965, two years after Lewis had died, in which he said (I didn\u2019t write down the exact quote, but in which he said), \u201cI would never have finished The Lord of the Rings had it not been for the encouragement of C.S. Lewis, of Jack Lewis.\u201d Tolkien says, \u201cI would never have brought it to completion,\u201d\u2014that was the phrase he used\u2014\u201chad it not been for the encouragement, the unflagging encouragement, of Jack Lewis.\u201d\r\n\r\nThink about it this way: for you to encourage someone is to make a deposit in their heart that costs you about fifty cents. As it goes through the air into their ears and deposits in their heart, what happens is, it is suddenly a deposit of several hundred dollars. It has disproportionate power. What it costs you to offer it pales in comparison to what it actually gives of life to the person receiving it.\r\n\r\nWe are told repeatedly in Scripture to encourage one another, so we cannot get around it. It\u2019s in the Bible. Let\u2019s look at it.\r\n\r\nFour texts. I\u2019ve given you a definition and three reasons; now, four texts.\r\n\r\n1 Thessalonians 5:11 (I\u2019m just going to say a few quick things about each of them, so it\u2019s going to go really quickly here): \u201cEncourage one another and build one another up.\u201d \r\n\r\nInsight Number One from 1 Thessalonians 5: to encourage is to build up. This verse Paul uses here is an architectural term; literally, a building term. You are not puffing them up. That\u2019s flattery for your sake. You\u2019re building them up; encouragement for their sake. \r\n\r\nOne of the beautiful, God-created secrets to encouragement is that when you encourage someone, you set out to build them up, but it also builds you up. Everyone wins. \r\n\r\nEncourage. Build up. Maybe many of us grew up in a home where the culture, which was from a dad or a mom or others, was not one of words building up but of words tearing down. If so, the wondrous privilege we have with our spouses, after they have been torn down in the home they grew up in, is to build them back up with encouragement. \u201cEncourage one another and build one another up.\u201d\r\n\r\nRomans 12:10 \u201cOutdo one another in showing honor.\u201d \r\n\r\nThe one place in all the Bible where we are told to defeat one another; to \u201coutdo one another.\u201d Elbow your way to the front of the line in this thing called showing honor. Be the first one up the hill in this thing of showing honor or encouraging one another. \r\n\r\nIt doesn\u2019t use the language of encouragement; it uses this beautiful language that means the same thing [as] showing honor. It\u2019s the same word. If you have your Bibles open, it\u2019s the same word that is used over in chapter 13, the next chapter (we\u2019re in chapter 12; in Romans 13:7). It uses the same Greek noun, honor. \u201cHonor to whom honor is due.\u201d The context there is the civil authorities. Paul says, \u201cPay to everyone exactly what you owe them.\u201d Pay to them what is owed. \u201cHonor to whom honor is due.\u201d \r\n\r\nNow, just notice in chapter 13, with regard to civil authorities, Paul says, \u201cGive them exactly the right amount of honor that they deserve.\u201d Neither more nor less\u2014the correct amount\u2014when you are dealing with the world, and civil authorities, and taxes, and so on. But in the church and in your marriage, with Christians, chapter 12 [says], \u201cOutdo one another in showing honor.\u201d Flood, irrigate, deluge, lavish honor on one another. What a gorgeous vision for a way to be together. \u201cOutdo one another in showing honor.\u201d I would like to grow in that.\r\n\r\nHebrews 10:25 I want to draw your attention to, but I\u2019m beginning from verse 24: \u201cLet us consider how to stir one another up to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the day drawing near.\u201d \r\n\r\nApparently, encouragement is how we roll. In other words, the writer can swap in \u201cencourage one another\u201d as an equally viable phrase for meeting together, because that is what we do. Is that true in your marriage? What about in your church? Would you say what is bubbling out all the time is meaningful encouragement? Let\u2019s grow in that.\r\n\r\n1 Peter 3:7 (the first one that is explicitly attached to marriage) Peter has been talking to wives, and now, he pivots and is talking to husbands. 1 Peter 3:7\u2014this was a new discovery for me just this week [in] talking through this text with my wife: \u201cHusbands, live with your wife in an understanding way, showing honor.\u201d \r\n\r\nSame word as Romans 12 and 13, showing honor. It means value. It\u2019s actually a term referring to monetary value in the First Century. Showing honor, preciousness, [and] value \u201cto the woman as a weaker vessel since they are heirs with you of the grace of life.\u201d [1 Peter 3:7]\r\n\r\nJust one observation here: apparently\u2014Peter says the one thing, \u201clive with your wife in an understanding way, showing honor;\u201d apparently, husbands, guys, we are to lead the way in our marriages in showing honor. \r\n\r\nIf there is an encouragement stalemate\u2014mayb, it was never there\u2014and one or both of you would love for your marriage to be irrigated with this wonderful reality of encouraging one another, the husbands take the first step in encouraging one another.\r\n\r\nLet me sum up those four texts: to encourage is to build up\u2014build up by showing lavish honor\u2014and, thereby, [be] a normal Christian. This is normal Christianity, and husbands lead the way.\r\n\r\n[Studio]\r\n\r\nAnn: You\u2019re listening to FamilyLife Today, and we\u2019ve been listening to Dane Ortlund.\r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019m challenged right now.\r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m so excited that he ended right there. Yes! Husbands, step up.\r\n\r\nDave: Honestly, he was talking to both husbands and wives; but if I stepped up, it would change our marriage, I know it would, to speak life, to encourage you. You do that every single day to me.\r\n\r\nAnn: You do that to me, though, too.\r\n\r\nDave: Oh, good. I just wondered. I don\u2019t think I do it as much, but you are all-pro.\r\n\r\nAnn: You\u2019re nice.\r\n\r\nDave: And we are only halfway done. He\u2019s just in the middle of his talk, so we are going to go back to listen to the rest of Dane.\r\n\r\n[Previously Recorded]\r\n\r\nDane: Five objections.\r\n\r\n\u201cI hear you, Dane. Honestly, dude, I feel a little awkward giving sincere, specific encouragement to my spouse.\u201d \r\n\r\nBrace yourself or plug your ears, one or the other. The answer to that is, actually ([and] I say this with respect towards you): \u201cGet over it.\u201d \r\n\r\nAudience: [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDane:I know how you feel. Let\u2019s get over it together. Better to live a life of obeying the Scripture awkwardly than holding it at arm's length comfortably.\r\n\r\n\u201cBut I can\u2019t find anything in my spouse to honor.\u201d \r\n\r\nSir, you aren\u2019t looking hard enough. Take a step back, and get some perspective, and remember who this saint is that you are doing life with. If you went to the Art Institute of Chicago and walked right up to a Monet\u2014walked right up to the wall, and looked at it from an inch away\u2014and said, \u201cI just can\u2019t see anything, any beauty, any glory.\u201d [Laughter] We would tap you on the shoulder and say, \u201cBack up and get some perspective.\u201d \r\n\r\nYou didn\u2019t marry the person you are married to because, as you were dating, this person made you miserable. When you were dating, there was something, many things; there was a constellation of glory about that person. Rekindle that. Look harder. Get some perspective.\r\n\r\n\u201cBut I don\u2019t have the gift of encouragement.\u201d [Laughter] \r\n\r\nYou might say it is a gift, and I would agree with you. In Romans 12, it does appear that encouragement is a gift. You might say I don't have the gift of encouragement. The answer: you are probably right. \r\n\r\nAudience: [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDane: Odds are, you are correct, but here\u2019s the problem. While it is a gift, the apostles in the text we looked at do not come to the end of an exhortation to encourage one another [and say], \u201cEncourage one another and build one another up, provided, of course, that you have the gift of encouragement. And, if you do not, then you are excused from ever encouraging anyone.\u201d\r\n\r\nThe New Testament calls to encouragement\u2014while it is a gift some will lead the way in, the New Testament calls to encouragement\u2014land indiscriminately on all of us.\r\n\r\n\u201cWould I be promoting something unhealthy if I do this too much in my spouse? Pride?\u201d Or \u201cI don\u2019t want to flatter them. I don't want to puff them up. I don\u2019t want to promote pride in my spouse.\u201d\r\n\r\nAs if! In this room here, of a couple hundred people, half of us walked into this morning\u2019s devotional discouraged and in need of encouragement, and the other half walked into this room this morning blown up with pride needing to be brought down, and we need to figure out who are the ones [who] need encouragement and who don\u2019t. What a misunderstanding of what it is to be a fallen human being.\r\n\r\nThe old Scottish pastor Ian MacLaren said, \u201cHave pity. For everyone is fighting a hard battle.\u201d Better the possibility of pride with encouragement than the certainty of discouragement and thinness of marriage without it.\r\n\r\n\u201cShouldn\u2019t we also rebuke and correct? Isn\u2019t that in the New Testament?\u201d\r\n\r\nYes, but we don't outdo one another in it.\r\n\r\nAudience: [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDane: We are not trying to defeat one another in, \u201cI will do more rebuking and correcting than you.\u201d\r\n\r\nWhat if every gentle rebuke or correction, which in a marriage is uttered something along the lines of, \u201cHey, I love you so much\u2014\u201d (and you don\u2019t do this in the middle of a fight)\u2014\u201cI love you so much. May I be so bold with my finite vision of reality here\u2014may I be so bold\u2014as to just very cautiously and gently offer something I think I\u2019m observing? And I may not be looking at things right.\u201d\r\n\r\nYou know what I\u2019m saying? You offer it cautiously and gently. What if every one of those came in the wake of a tidal wave of ten or fifty or a hundred encouragements? That\u2019s a correction you could receive.\r\n\r\nThose are my five objections. Finally, one secret to it all. This is, if you know the logic of the New Testament, the nuclear core of the Christian life: including encouragement. Namely, if we had time to study all four of the texts we have looked at, we would see that in each case it is the good news of the gospel of the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross, and [Him] rising again in our place, that is informing and fueling and flowing into all four of those exhortations to encouragement. \r\n\r\nIn other words, what is the gospel? God, so to speak, spoke life. He came with a word, a concrete word of life to you, saying, \u201cMy Son died in your place. I love and embrace you, and invincibly, eternally befriend you, and pull you into my heart.\u201d It\u2019s a word of life, the gospel is. All we are doing in encouragement as believers is passing on a word of life. In other words, we are just helping people feel what the gospel, what the good news, actually feels like.\r\n\r\n[Studio]\r\n\r\nDave: You are listening to FamilyLife Today, and we have been listening to a portion of a talk that Dane Ortlund gave on the Love Like You Mean It cruise last February. And, man, the way he ended that talk, showing us that just a simple word or act of encouragement is literally giving the gospel to your spouse, your neighbor, your friend.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019ve encouraged them, you are speaking gospel life into them.\r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019ve never really thought of it that way. That\u2019s what Jesus does to us. He\u2019s constantly encouraging us. He sees us. The crazy thing is, He sees all of it, and He still encourages us. That\u2019s good news.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes. I\u2019ve never thought of encouragement being a way for someone to feel\u2014that\u2019s the key word, feel\u2014the impact of the gospel on their life. That\u2019s motivating. I want to be an encouraging person; I want to speak life, not death. I want my neighbors to run into my yard because every time they are around me, they feel seen and heard, and they feel the impact of the gospel.\r\n\r\nSometimes, I don\u2019t want my neighbors anywhere near my front yard. [Laughter] But when we are encouraging, that\u2019s a magnet, and we\u2019re drawn to that and that is why people are drawn to Christ.\r\n\r\nAnn: So, let us encourage you again\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014I like how you used the word \u201cencourage you.\u201d That\u2019s good.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014Come on the Love Like You Mean It marriage cruise, because your life and your marriage will be transformed.\r\n\r\nDave: Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and sign up right now, and we will see you with our sunglasses on in February.\r\n\r\nShelby: I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Dane Ortlund on FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nYes, the Wilson\u2019s are going to be there on the Love Like You Mean It marriage cruise. They may or may not have sunglasses on when you see them, but I encourage you to sign up. Head over to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the Love Like You Mean It marriage cruise banner to secure your spot right now. It\u2019s happening from February 8-15. It\u2019s a great experience to grow closer in your relationship with the Lord and grow closer with your spouse at the same time. \r\n\r\nAgain, it\u2019s happening February 8-15. You can head over to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the banner to learn more and, if you book before September 30th, you\u2019re going to get $400 off per stateroom. Head over to FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\nAnn: Hey, I just want to pause for a moment and remind you as a listener\u2014you might need to hear this: you are not alone.\r\n\r\nDave: Nope.\r\n\r\nAnn: You\u2019re not alone. Whatever you are going through today, you are not alone. I don\u2019t know if you know this, but Dave and I have a team at FamilyLife Today ready to pray for you. It\u2019s an incredible honor and privilege to lift your name up to God. So, if you need prayer, please, please reach out to us. You can head over to FamilyLife.com\/prayforme. \r\n\r\nAgain, that\u2019s FamilyLife.com\/prayforme. Tell us how we can pray for you. We\u2019re not kidding. Dave and I have a prayer team specifically dedicated to praying for our listeners, praying for you.\r\n\r\nAnn: I walk almost every day, and that\u2019s when I\u2019m going to be praying for you. And Dave, you always fast on Fridays, and that\u2019s when you pray. Well, more than just Fridays.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, it isn\u2019t just Fridays, but all day Friday when I\u2019m getting hunger pangs, I\u2019m praying. It\u2019s like breathing. I\u2019m praying all day and, often, I\u2019m praying for FamilyLife listeners like you. Like Ann said, you are not alone.\r\n\r\nAnn: You matter to us.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes. God is with you, and we would love to lift you up by name. Go to FamilyLife.com\/prayforme and we will pray for you, and our team will pray for you.\r\n\r\nShelby: Tomorrow, we are going to hear from Ron and Nan Deal as they were on the Love Like You Mean It marriage cruise. They talk about the four destructive behaviors that predict divorce. \r\n\r\nCompelling stuff tomorrow with the Deals and with the Wilsons. We hope you\u2019ll join us.\r\n\r\nOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?  \r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife                                 \r\n\r\n\n"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-09-24.pdf"],"_edit_lock":["1729784546:47000"],"_edit_last":["47000"],"theme_header_position":["Sticky"],"post_header_is_sticky":["default"],"is_header_overlay":["0"],"episode_type":["audio"],"date_recorded":["2024-09-24 08:00:00"],"enclosure":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/1fb72f2d-2192-4937-a7e0-b1e6011721bb\/audio.mp3"],"_seopress_redirections_type":["301"],"_seopress_redirections_logged_status":["both"],"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":[""],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-298267.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-298267.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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spouse needs your encouragement. Worried about empty words or awkwardness? Listen as Dane Ortlund explores the meaning of encouragement in marriage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"\n<ul>\n<li>Connect with Dane Ortlund and catch more of their thoughts at <a href=\"http:\/\/daneortlund.com\/\">daneortlund.com<\/a>, or on <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/daneortlund\">X<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Find more FamilyLife Today episodes featuring Dane Ortlund <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?s=dane+ortlund\">here<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Join us aboard the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lovelikeyoumeanitcruise.com\/\">Love Like You Mean It Marriage Cruise<\/a> from February 8-15 for an exclusive journey dedicated to strengthening your marriage.<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-09-24.pdf","transcript_content":"\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript\r\n\r\nReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.\r\n\r\nMarriage and the Meaning of Encouragement\r\n\r\nGuest:Dane Ortlund\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Marriage and the Meaning of Encouragement (Day 1 of 1)\r\n\r\nAir date:September 24, 2024\r\n\r\nDane: \u201cI hear you, Dane. Honestly, Dude, I feel a little awkward giving sincere, specific encouragement to my spouse.\u201d\r\n\r\nShelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\nAnn: This is FamilyLife Today!\r\n\r\nAnn: This is going to be a fun day today.\r\n\r\nDave: Why is that?\r\n\r\nAnn: One, we\u2019re going to\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014because we\u2019re together. You\u2019re with me. I\u2019m with you.\r\n\r\nAnn: Of course; that\u2019s always the best. But we\u2019re also going to be listening to Dane Ortlund today.\r\n\r\nDave: That\u2019s a good day.\r\n\r\nAnn: It\u2019s a message that he gave on the Love Like You Mean It\u00ae marriage cruise last Spring.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes. We were there in February. The sun was out, the wind was blowing. Thousands of couples on this boat. FamilyLife has done the Love Like You Mean It  cruise for over 15 years, and we\u2019ve been on a lot of them. \r\n\r\nI\u2019m not even a cruise guy. I wouldn\u2019t choose a cruise for my vacation, but this cruise is the best thing ever, because it's not just a vacation. You\u2019re working on your marriage. Every night there is a keynote talk on marriage; there are breakout sessions on topics that relate to your marriage; there are comedians on the boat; there are great bands and music; there is great food.\r\n\r\nAnn: But you are also doing excursions and getting off the boat. It\u2019s fun. And it\u2019s for every age group, every phase of marriage. If you have little kids, you need to get away. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: If you have teenagers, you need to get away. If you are empty nesters\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014you need to get away.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes. And, maybe, bring some friends with you. Or, if you are a parent, bring those adult kids or send them on the Love Like You Mean It marriage cruise.\r\n\r\nDave: We will be on the Love Like You Mean It cruise, speaking, next February. We\u2019d love to have you guys with us. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and sign up to join and be there with us.\r\n\r\nYou\u2019re going to hear talks like we\u2019re going to hear today from Dane Ortlund. He gave this talk last year. This is a topic that not a lot of people talk about. Although, you [Dane] are writing a book. You just wrote a book.\r\n\r\nAnn: This is my language right here. He\u2019s really talking about encouragement and the power that we have, and how marriage can be transformed by the encouragement we give our spouse. \r\n\r\nHere\u2019s Dane Ortlund:\r\n\r\n[Previously Recorded]\r\n\r\nDane: First definition: what do we mean by biblical encouragement? You might hear something like, \u201cHey, I just want to encourage you to get up 30 minutes earlier and pray more. I want to encourage you to be more generous with your money.\u201d \r\n\r\nThat is not what I am talking about. That is not encouragement. That is law. That\u2019s \u201cshape up.\u201d What I mean by encouragement is the following: \r\n\r\nThat subset of Christian love\u2014a species of love; that subset of Christian love\u2014that identifies specific marks of God\u2019s presence in the life\u2014we\u2019re talking about marriage here\u2014in the life of our spouse with words to our spouse without joking, without a concluding, sarcastic comment that\u2019s actually retracting what you just said and emptying it. There\u2019s a time for jokes, but not in encouragement as I am commending to you.\r\n\r\nThat subset of Christian love that identifies specific\u2014specificity, concrete. \r\n\r\n\u201cI saw the way you greeted Jennifer at church this morning. She was in some distress, that was clear. You interacted with her with listening and love. God [through] the Holy Spirit must be alive and well in you.\u201d [Or] \u201cI know that you desire to grow in gentleness. I don\u2019t know if you see that. I see God doing that in you.\u201d Something like that.\r\n\r\nNow, you may already have objections rising up about this, so just hang in there with me. That\u2019s my definition of it.\r\n\r\nThree reasons we\u2019re reflecting on encouragement today.\r\n\r\nEncouragement is neglected in our churches and in our marriages today. \r\n\r\nDo you think about it? Do you talk about it? Do you hear\u2014when was the last sermon you heard (or Sunday School class) where you heard about encouragement? Most of my life, I have neglected it. I have viewed it as nice, but frothy. I just want you to know that I no longer feel that way or believe that way about encouragement. \r\n\r\nEncouragement has disproportionate power. \r\n\r\nC.S. Lewis died in 1963. He was friends with J.R.R. Tolkien. Tolkien wrote a letter in 1965, two years after Lewis had died, in which he said (I didn\u2019t write down the exact quote, but in which he said), \u201cI would never have finished The Lord of the Rings had it not been for the encouragement of C.S. Lewis, of Jack Lewis.\u201d Tolkien says, \u201cI would never have brought it to completion,\u201d\u2014that was the phrase he used\u2014\u201chad it not been for the encouragement, the unflagging encouragement, of Jack Lewis.\u201d\r\n\r\nThink about it this way: for you to encourage someone is to make a deposit in their heart that costs you about fifty cents. As it goes through the air into their ears and deposits in their heart, what happens is, it is suddenly a deposit of several hundred dollars. It has disproportionate power. What it costs you to offer it pales in comparison to what it actually gives of life to the person receiving it.\r\n\r\nWe are told repeatedly in Scripture to encourage one another, so we cannot get around it. It\u2019s in the Bible. Let\u2019s look at it.\r\n\r\nFour texts. I\u2019ve given you a definition and three reasons; now, four texts.\r\n\r\n1 Thessalonians 5:11 (I\u2019m just going to say a few quick things about each of them, so it\u2019s going to go really quickly here): \u201cEncourage one another and build one another up.\u201d \r\n\r\nInsight Number One from 1 Thessalonians 5: to encourage is to build up. This verse Paul uses here is an architectural term; literally, a building term. You are not puffing them up. That\u2019s flattery for your sake. You\u2019re building them up; encouragement for their sake. \r\n\r\nOne of the beautiful, God-created secrets to encouragement is that when you encourage someone, you set out to build them up, but it also builds you up. Everyone wins. \r\n\r\nEncourage. Build up. Maybe many of us grew up in a home where the culture, which was from a dad or a mom or others, was not one of words building up but of words tearing down. If so, the wondrous privilege we have with our spouses, after they have been torn down in the home they grew up in, is to build them back up with encouragement. \u201cEncourage one another and build one another up.\u201d\r\n\r\nRomans 12:10 \u201cOutdo one another in showing honor.\u201d \r\n\r\nThe one place in all the Bible where we are told to defeat one another; to \u201coutdo one another.\u201d Elbow your way to the front of the line in this thing called showing honor. Be the first one up the hill in this thing of showing honor or encouraging one another. \r\n\r\nIt doesn\u2019t use the language of encouragement; it uses this beautiful language that means the same thing [as] showing honor. It\u2019s the same word. If you have your Bibles open, it\u2019s the same word that is used over in chapter 13, the next chapter (we\u2019re in chapter 12; in Romans 13:7). It uses the same Greek noun, honor. \u201cHonor to whom honor is due.\u201d The context there is the civil authorities. Paul says, \u201cPay to everyone exactly what you owe them.\u201d Pay to them what is owed. \u201cHonor to whom honor is due.\u201d \r\n\r\nNow, just notice in chapter 13, with regard to civil authorities, Paul says, \u201cGive them exactly the right amount of honor that they deserve.\u201d Neither more nor less\u2014the correct amount\u2014when you are dealing with the world, and civil authorities, and taxes, and so on. But in the church and in your marriage, with Christians, chapter 12 [says], \u201cOutdo one another in showing honor.\u201d Flood, irrigate, deluge, lavish honor on one another. What a gorgeous vision for a way to be together. \u201cOutdo one another in showing honor.\u201d I would like to grow in that.\r\n\r\nHebrews 10:25 I want to draw your attention to, but I\u2019m beginning from verse 24: \u201cLet us consider how to stir one another up to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the day drawing near.\u201d \r\n\r\nApparently, encouragement is how we roll. In other words, the writer can swap in \u201cencourage one another\u201d as an equally viable phrase for meeting together, because that is what we do. Is that true in your marriage? What about in your church? Would you say what is bubbling out all the time is meaningful encouragement? Let\u2019s grow in that.\r\n\r\n1 Peter 3:7 (the first one that is explicitly attached to marriage) Peter has been talking to wives, and now, he pivots and is talking to husbands. 1 Peter 3:7\u2014this was a new discovery for me just this week [in] talking through this text with my wife: \u201cHusbands, live with your wife in an understanding way, showing honor.\u201d \r\n\r\nSame word as Romans 12 and 13, showing honor. It means value. It\u2019s actually a term referring to monetary value in the First Century. Showing honor, preciousness, [and] value \u201cto the woman as a weaker vessel since they are heirs with you of the grace of life.\u201d [1 Peter 3:7]\r\n\r\nJust one observation here: apparently\u2014Peter says the one thing, \u201clive with your wife in an understanding way, showing honor;\u201d apparently, husbands, guys, we are to lead the way in our marriages in showing honor. \r\n\r\nIf there is an encouragement stalemate\u2014mayb, it was never there\u2014and one or both of you would love for your marriage to be irrigated with this wonderful reality of encouraging one another, the husbands take the first step in encouraging one another.\r\n\r\nLet me sum up those four texts: to encourage is to build up\u2014build up by showing lavish honor\u2014and, thereby, [be] a normal Christian. This is normal Christianity, and husbands lead the way.\r\n\r\n[Studio]\r\n\r\nAnn: You\u2019re listening to FamilyLife Today, and we\u2019ve been listening to Dane Ortlund.\r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019m challenged right now.\r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m so excited that he ended right there. Yes! Husbands, step up.\r\n\r\nDave: Honestly, he was talking to both husbands and wives; but if I stepped up, it would change our marriage, I know it would, to speak life, to encourage you. You do that every single day to me.\r\n\r\nAnn: You do that to me, though, too.\r\n\r\nDave: Oh, good. I just wondered. I don\u2019t think I do it as much, but you are all-pro.\r\n\r\nAnn: You\u2019re nice.\r\n\r\nDave: And we are only halfway done. He\u2019s just in the middle of his talk, so we are going to go back to listen to the rest of Dane.\r\n\r\n[Previously Recorded]\r\n\r\nDane: Five objections.\r\n\r\n\u201cI hear you, Dane. Honestly, dude, I feel a little awkward giving sincere, specific encouragement to my spouse.\u201d \r\n\r\nBrace yourself or plug your ears, one or the other. The answer to that is, actually ([and] I say this with respect towards you): \u201cGet over it.\u201d \r\n\r\nAudience: [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDane:I know how you feel. Let\u2019s get over it together. Better to live a life of obeying the Scripture awkwardly than holding it at arm's length comfortably.\r\n\r\n\u201cBut I can\u2019t find anything in my spouse to honor.\u201d \r\n\r\nSir, you aren\u2019t looking hard enough. Take a step back, and get some perspective, and remember who this saint is that you are doing life with. If you went to the Art Institute of Chicago and walked right up to a Monet\u2014walked right up to the wall, and looked at it from an inch away\u2014and said, \u201cI just can\u2019t see anything, any beauty, any glory.\u201d [Laughter] We would tap you on the shoulder and say, \u201cBack up and get some perspective.\u201d \r\n\r\nYou didn\u2019t marry the person you are married to because, as you were dating, this person made you miserable. When you were dating, there was something, many things; there was a constellation of glory about that person. Rekindle that. Look harder. Get some perspective.\r\n\r\n\u201cBut I don\u2019t have the gift of encouragement.\u201d [Laughter] \r\n\r\nYou might say it is a gift, and I would agree with you. In Romans 12, it does appear that encouragement is a gift. You might say I don't have the gift of encouragement. The answer: you are probably right. \r\n\r\nAudience: [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDane: Odds are, you are correct, but here\u2019s the problem. While it is a gift, the apostles in the text we looked at do not come to the end of an exhortation to encourage one another [and say], \u201cEncourage one another and build one another up, provided, of course, that you have the gift of encouragement. And, if you do not, then you are excused from ever encouraging anyone.\u201d\r\n\r\nThe New Testament calls to encouragement\u2014while it is a gift some will lead the way in, the New Testament calls to encouragement\u2014land indiscriminately on all of us.\r\n\r\n\u201cWould I be promoting something unhealthy if I do this too much in my spouse? Pride?\u201d Or \u201cI don\u2019t want to flatter them. I don't want to puff them up. I don\u2019t want to promote pride in my spouse.\u201d\r\n\r\nAs if! In this room here, of a couple hundred people, half of us walked into this morning\u2019s devotional discouraged and in need of encouragement, and the other half walked into this room this morning blown up with pride needing to be brought down, and we need to figure out who are the ones [who] need encouragement and who don\u2019t. What a misunderstanding of what it is to be a fallen human being.\r\n\r\nThe old Scottish pastor Ian MacLaren said, \u201cHave pity. For everyone is fighting a hard battle.\u201d Better the possibility of pride with encouragement than the certainty of discouragement and thinness of marriage without it.\r\n\r\n\u201cShouldn\u2019t we also rebuke and correct? Isn\u2019t that in the New Testament?\u201d\r\n\r\nYes, but we don't outdo one another in it.\r\n\r\nAudience: [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDane: We are not trying to defeat one another in, \u201cI will do more rebuking and correcting than you.\u201d\r\n\r\nWhat if every gentle rebuke or correction, which in a marriage is uttered something along the lines of, \u201cHey, I love you so much\u2014\u201d (and you don\u2019t do this in the middle of a fight)\u2014\u201cI love you so much. May I be so bold with my finite vision of reality here\u2014may I be so bold\u2014as to just very cautiously and gently offer something I think I\u2019m observing? And I may not be looking at things right.\u201d\r\n\r\nYou know what I\u2019m saying? You offer it cautiously and gently. What if every one of those came in the wake of a tidal wave of ten or fifty or a hundred encouragements? That\u2019s a correction you could receive.\r\n\r\nThose are my five objections. Finally, one secret to it all. This is, if you know the logic of the New Testament, the nuclear core of the Christian life: including encouragement. Namely, if we had time to study all four of the texts we have looked at, we would see that in each case it is the good news of the gospel of the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross, and [Him] rising again in our place, that is informing and fueling and flowing into all four of those exhortations to encouragement. \r\n\r\nIn other words, what is the gospel? God, so to speak, spoke life. He came with a word, a concrete word of life to you, saying, \u201cMy Son died in your place. I love and embrace you, and invincibly, eternally befriend you, and pull you into my heart.\u201d It\u2019s a word of life, the gospel is. All we are doing in encouragement as believers is passing on a word of life. In other words, we are just helping people feel what the gospel, what the good news, actually feels like.\r\n\r\n[Studio]\r\n\r\nDave: You are listening to FamilyLife Today, and we have been listening to a portion of a talk that Dane Ortlund gave on the Love Like You Mean It cruise last February. And, man, the way he ended that talk, showing us that just a simple word or act of encouragement is literally giving the gospel to your spouse, your neighbor, your friend.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019ve encouraged them, you are speaking gospel life into them.\r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019ve never really thought of it that way. That\u2019s what Jesus does to us. He\u2019s constantly encouraging us. He sees us. The crazy thing is, He sees all of it, and He still encourages us. That\u2019s good news.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes. I\u2019ve never thought of encouragement being a way for someone to feel\u2014that\u2019s the key word, feel\u2014the impact of the gospel on their life. That\u2019s motivating. I want to be an encouraging person; I want to speak life, not death. I want my neighbors to run into my yard because every time they are around me, they feel seen and heard, and they feel the impact of the gospel.\r\n\r\nSometimes, I don\u2019t want my neighbors anywhere near my front yard. [Laughter] But when we are encouraging, that\u2019s a magnet, and we\u2019re drawn to that and that is why people are drawn to Christ.\r\n\r\nAnn: So, let us encourage you again\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014I like how you used the word \u201cencourage you.\u201d That\u2019s good.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014Come on the Love Like You Mean It marriage cruise, because your life and your marriage will be transformed.\r\n\r\nDave: Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and sign up right now, and we will see you with our sunglasses on in February.\r\n\r\nShelby: I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Dane Ortlund on FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nYes, the Wilson\u2019s are going to be there on the Love Like You Mean It marriage cruise. They may or may not have sunglasses on when you see them, but I encourage you to sign up. Head over to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the Love Like You Mean It marriage cruise banner to secure your spot right now. It\u2019s happening from February 8-15. It\u2019s a great experience to grow closer in your relationship with the Lord and grow closer with your spouse at the same time. \r\n\r\nAgain, it\u2019s happening February 8-15. You can head over to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the banner to learn more and, if you book before September 30th, you\u2019re going to get $400 off per stateroom. Head over to FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\nAnn: Hey, I just want to pause for a moment and remind you as a listener\u2014you might need to hear this: you are not alone.\r\n\r\nDave: Nope.\r\n\r\nAnn: You\u2019re not alone. Whatever you are going through today, you are not alone. I don\u2019t know if you know this, but Dave and I have a team at FamilyLife Today ready to pray for you. It\u2019s an incredible honor and privilege to lift your name up to God. So, if you need prayer, please, please reach out to us. You can head over to FamilyLife.com\/prayforme. \r\n\r\nAgain, that\u2019s FamilyLife.com\/prayforme. Tell us how we can pray for you. We\u2019re not kidding. Dave and I have a prayer team specifically dedicated to praying for our listeners, praying for you.\r\n\r\nAnn: I walk almost every day, and that\u2019s when I\u2019m going to be praying for you. And Dave, you always fast on Fridays, and that\u2019s when you pray. Well, more than just Fridays.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, it isn\u2019t just Fridays, but all day Friday when I\u2019m getting hunger pangs, I\u2019m praying. It\u2019s like breathing. I\u2019m praying all day and, often, I\u2019m praying for FamilyLife listeners like you. Like Ann said, you are not alone.\r\n\r\nAnn: You matter to us.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes. God is with you, and we would love to lift you up by name. Go to FamilyLife.com\/prayforme and we will pray for you, and our team will pray for you.\r\n\r\nShelby: Tomorrow, we are going to hear from Ron and Nan Deal as they were on the Love Like You Mean It marriage cruise. They talk about the four destructive behaviors that predict divorce. \r\n\r\nCompelling stuff tomorrow with the Deals and with the Wilsons. We hope you\u2019ll join us.\r\n\r\nOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?  \r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife                                 \r\n\r\n\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/298267","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=298267"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280865"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=298267"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=298267"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=298267"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=298267"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=298267"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=298267"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}