{"id":294636,"date":"2024-09-11T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-09-11T08:50:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/enduring-the-pain-of-sickness-death-rechab-brittany-gray\/"},"modified":"2025-06-10T15:07:55","modified_gmt":"2025-06-10T19:07:55","slug":"enduring-the-pain-of-sickness-death-rechab-brittany-gray","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/enduring-the-pain-of-sickness-death-rechab-brittany-gray\/","title":{"rendered":"Enduring the Pain of Sickness &#038; Death: Rechab &#038; Brittany Gray"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Enduring the pain of having a sick child seems impossible. Dave and Ann Wilson are joined by Rechab and Brittany Gray, as they recount the effect of multiple medical crises on their family and faith.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Enduring the pain of having a sick child seems impossible. Rechab and Brittany Gray recount the effect of multiple medical crises on their family and faith.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280865,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/bb6967b3-09ef-452d-b98a-b1db00fb3197\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:39","filesize":"24.44M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2024-09-11 08:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2847],"tags":[3005],"podcast_series":[9960],"cwp_profile":[9971],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-294636","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-death-and-dying","tag-god-whos-in-it-rechab-brittany-gray","podcast_series-god-whos-in-it-rechab-brittany-gray","cwp_profile-rechab-and-brittany-gray","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/294636\/enduring-the-pain-of-sickness-death-rechab-brittany-gray","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/294636\/enduring-the-pain-of-sickness-death-rechab-brittany-gray","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"kDSQ5yVgvB\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/enduring-the-pain-of-sickness-death-rechab-brittany-gray\/\">Enduring the Pain of Sickness &#038; Death: Rechab &#038; Brittany Gray<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/enduring-the-pain-of-sickness-death-rechab-brittany-gray\/embed\/#?secret=kDSQ5yVgvB\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Enduring the Pain of Sickness &#038; Death: Rechab &#038; Brittany Gray&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"kDSQ5yVgvB\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["bb6967b3-09ef-452d-b98a-b1db00fb3197"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/bb6967b3-09ef-452d-b98a-b1db00fb3197\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:26:39"],"filesize":["24.44M"],"_thumbnail_id":["280865"],"show_notes":["<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/guest\/rechab-gray\/\">More from Rechab on FamilyLife Today<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Read articles by Rechab on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thegospelcoalition.org\/profile\/rechab-gray\/\">The Gospel Coalition's website<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Don't miss out on our biggest sale of the season!<a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/weekend-to-remember\"> Weekend to Remember registrations are half price until September 16th<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n"],"transcript_content":["<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Enduring the Pain of Sickness and Death<\/p>\n<p>Guests:Rechab and Brittany Gray<\/p>\n<p>From the series:God Who\u2019s Over It, God Who\u2019s In It (Day 3 of 3)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:September 11, 2024<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Our intensity of our minds whenever we suffer is: \u201cWhen is this going to be over? When is this going to stop?\u201d Yet you see Jesus on the boat in the storm, chilling; asleep; knocked out. And so, instead of trying to fixate ourselves on, \u201cWhen is this over?\u201d resting in the One Who\u2019s in it with us becomes the whole goal.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Do you feel like, the last two days, we\u2019re in this mini-series of this drama, and you can\u2019t wait for today because you need to hear how it ends?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, because I actually don\u2019t know how it ends. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I know!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I sort of know, but I don\u2019t really know, and I\u2019m guessing our listeners feel the same thing.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, and if you haven\u2019t listened to the last two days, please go back, because we\u2019ve been interviewing Rechab and Brittany Gray about their story. You guys are parents of four; you\u2019re a pastor here in Orlando. You\u2019ve had quite the journey; but yesterday, we ended at this crisis point of your life, because you didn\u2019t know whether your second child, your daughter, was going to live or die.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So, thanks again for sharing this, because a lot of us, when we\u2019re in pain, and our children are suffering, we don\u2019t even know how to process it sometimes with God [or] with each other. We haven\u2019t even asked how your marriage has endured through all the trial, because that affects our marriages, too.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes, indeed.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So, your daughter was just airlifted to a hospital. You didn\u2019t think she was going to make it, because it\u2019s bitterly cold in Iowa; and yet, you find out that, as they airlifted her and she\u2019s at a crisis point, her numbers were actually good. You thought she might die in the transfer.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: In the transfer, yes, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes, without a doubt; without a doubt.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Even yesterday. when you said, \u201cHey,\u201d when you were telling Brittany, \u201cPrepare yourself,\u201d\u2014that conversation in itself\u2014\u201cShe might not make this flight;\u201d Sickle Cell, cold; you knew the odds.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So, what happened?<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Well, God had a different story, and not only did she make it, but she arrived, and throughout the process, this is the first time she and I had actually been able to see her together.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Because it\u2019s during Covid.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Because it\u2019s during Covid. So, we are literally in the room with her, just praying over her daily.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: She was on a ventilator,\u2014Rechab: \u2014ventilator the whole time\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: \u2014completely under the whole time. We were in the room, but we didn\u2019t know if she could hear us or what was going on.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And you have a baby. You have an older son\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Oh, yes. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And you have a baby.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: And a baby.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Yes. We have amazing parents. Our parents jumped on a flight pretty much immediately when they found out Zipporah was in the ICU.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: And so, both of our parents worked together to keep our kids, because we didn\u2019t know how long we would be there. We didn\u2019t know how long we would have to leave our home to take care of our other child, so the boys stayed at home with Grandma and Grandpa while we were out two hours away and unable to be with them and see them. And I was seven months pregnant\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: \u2014yep! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014ohhh!<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: \u2014with our next one. Yes. The stay ended up being a lot longer than we knew, but we were grateful for that time, because we weren\u2019t sure if we were\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014and your one-year-old did not have Sickle Cell.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: No.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I just asked you, and your other [child] that was born (who you were pregnant with) does not have it.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: No, she does not.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Let me ask you this, because I\u2019m hearing this; do you know what\u2019s going through my mind? PTSD. [Laughter] You talk about trauma! You\u2019re walking through the greatest fears that parents have.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab and Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So, did that affect your marriage at all? You\u2019re probably not thinking, [Whining] \u201cOh, he\u2019s not being romantic.\u201d [Laughter] You\u2019re thinking, \u201cNo, our child may not make it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Rechab and Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Because a lot of couples don\u2019t make it when they face trauma that\u2019s really deep like that.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: This is where I can just brag on Brittany. Through that pain of miscarriage, where she talked about being able to experience now high joys and low pain and sorrow, her depth of walk with Jesus got so deep during that time. Had it not been, because when things like that are happening, every moment of stress is exacerbated ten times.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, or a hundred times.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Or a hundred times or a thousand times. Every little thing becomes the worst thing, so any little stress is like, \u201cWe need to fight over this.\u201d But, man, seriously, our relationship got so deep during that time. It happened first through the miscarriage. I was running super hard in ministry, and I had to stop.<\/p>\n<p>But that halt gave me things to think about: \u201cWhy do I care so much about this? Is this really for the Kingdom of God, or do I like the applause?\u201d I had to ask some hard questions, and it changed me. It literally shifted me. By the time this all happened, I was in a different place, but so was she.<\/p>\n<p>So, it was like God, through the miscarriages, was preparing us for what we were to face. Seriously, our depth of closeness was so close during that time and during that season, and that was necessary for the roller coaster ride we were going to be on with her in the hospital.<\/p>\n<p>But by the grace of God, about a month later almost, she was fully taken off the ventilator, and we were ultimately discharged. This is what was crazy, though\u2014and this is a part of the story I don\u2019t think many people actually know, so this might be a first or something: the day we get back to Des Moines, within hours, my son begins to complain of the same exact pain that brought her into the hospital.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Noooo!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: No way.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Same day.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Same day, like clockwork. Every single thing she said was happening to him. And we go in the hospital, exact same thing. His oxygen is low. I\u2019m [thinking], \u201cLord!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I mean, how much is too much? Are you thinking that?<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes, legit. Legit.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Like, \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: That was where it was like, \u201cThis is more than we can bear.\u201d But we\u2019re not bearing it alone. I love what Paul says in 2 Corinthians: \u201cto show that the excessiveness of power is not our own but is from the Lord.\u201d [2 Corinthians 3:5] It really was just God\u2019s strength at that point in time. We had nothing left! There was no \u201cAlright, let\u2019s gear up.\u201d Done gearing up. It was like, \u201cLord, You\u2019re just going to literally have to pick us up and carry us through this.\u201d It was dope, because the doctors (because they had seen my daughter), were far more aggressive with treatment.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Oh!<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: So, what could have been another month of intubation and life flighting, turned into just a week in that hospital, and he was able to go home. But as you pile up all these things, [and] she\u2019s also now seven months pregnant, it was so overwhelming. We felt like, \u201cWe just have to get out of here.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I\u2019m feeling it for you! [Laughter] I\u2019m thinking, \u201cWhat? What? What?!?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Brittany, I\u2019m just thinking: one, you just had this baby; two, you\u2019re pregnant, so hormones are all over the place. Then you have your mama\u2019s heart with your daughter, and now your son goes back in. Are you on your face before God, or are you just so numb in survival that you can\u2019t even function?<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: That\u2019s a good question.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: That is a good question. Yes, I think what he said is right. During that time watching my daughter in the hospital, in the hospital bed, unresponsive; not able to communicate with us, and we don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on. Every now and then the ICU nurse runs in because something flares up\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014ohhh!<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: \u2014and you\u2019re like, \u201dOkay, okay, she\u2019s fine. She\u2019s fine.\u201d Doing a lot of research of my own. We were fortunate; we have a couple nurses and doctors in our family, so we\u2019re texting them. \u201cWhat does this mean? What does that mean?\u201d Yes. I think I remember this specifically: I remember him calling me when she first got intubated. I remember sitting on the stairs, and I remember that call. I remember saying, \u201cRechab, are we going to lose our daughter?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And I remember being sad, but I remember being at peace. [Emotional, long silence] And that peace kept me, which is funny because that\u2019s what the Lord showed me when I first came to Christ, that peace. I\u2019m just so amazingly supported by this man. He encourages me to get in my Word and pray; and so, at that season of not being able to communicate with my daughter, reading and praying was what we were doing.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Where could you identify that peace coming from? How did you have it?<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: God-given. Absolutely God-given, because like you said, I\u2019m a mom. That\u2019s literally what my job was. I wasn\u2019t working full time. I was a mom! That\u2019s what I do. That\u2019s who I am. I would identify myself as, primarily, first, before I\u2019m \u201cChildren\u2019s Ministry Team,\u201d I am a mom.<\/p>\n<p>So, for me to be okay with the thought of, \u201cI had nine years with this girl, and it was wonderful;\u201d [tearful] and for me to be okay with, \u201cIf this is how things end, I will be okay,\u201d was absolutely from the Lord; absolutely from the Lord.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It\u2019s quite a journey. If our listeners have been listening for the last couple of days\u2014I don\u2019t know if it was yesterday or two days ago, I don\u2019t even remember\u2014where you said, initially, with your children born with Sickle Cell, you thought, \u201cWe\u2019re being punished.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Rechab and Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I had a little brother die, when I was seven and he was five, of leukemia.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Oh, wow.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I\u2019m pretty sure my dad went to his death bed believing it was punishment for his adulterous affairs.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab and Brittany: Oh, Jesus.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Wow.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I think he really felt like that was a punishment for his sin. That\u2019s where you guys started.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab and Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s what you were feeling, and here you are, toward the end of this thing\u2014There\u2019s a passage in John 9. We\u2019re looking at Mr. Bible over here. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: No, sir.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I\u2019m guessing you know John 9?Rechab: No; no, I don\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s the passage where He heals the blind man, and the question to Jesus is, \u201cWho sinned? Was it him or his parents, that he was born blind?\u201d They were thinking the same thing: \u201cGod is punishing somebody with this disease.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Rechab and Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So, as you think about even that, that journey, I know there is a listener or thousands, because it\u2019s sort of almost human nature; we feel like we get rewarded for good and punished for bad.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: That\u2019s true.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: What do you say to a parent who may think there\u2019s punishment in their family, or to another family member, probably a child, like you, and they think it\u2019s because of their sin?<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: A quick response is: in Christ, the wrath of God has been satisfied.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Absolutely.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: There you go.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: It\u2019s such a strange thing to fully embrace, but not embracing it will only lead to more sin. This is why the evil one wants to keep that lie in front of us. We think if we believe it\u2019s punishment, that we\u2019ll then stop. But it\u2019s actually like, if we believe it\u2019s punishment from God, it actually leads to just more stuff, because we don\u2019t realize that God is wooing us to Him and not away from Him.<\/p>\n<p>So, God does discipline His children. Hebrews makes that clear; but His discipline is always, always kind and gracious and good for us. There are going to be some painful moments in life. Without a doubt, we experience painful moments in life, but in Christ pain is not unredemptive. The amount of things that changed our walk, that transformed our experience with Christ through all of these things, from Sickle Cell\u2014it matured us crazy fast, and we needed to be, married at 21.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know what we would be had our kids not had Sickle Cell, because I think I\u2019d still be a selfish knucklehead. It was seeing my son in pain that changed, even, how I loved her. Who knows what happens without even experiencing the loss of children? And I say all that not because those things are good things.<\/p>\n<p>We don\u2019t celebrate suffering, but we can celebrate the Savior Who is able to redeem suffering and turn it into something transformative. And in our lives, those things have been bedrocks of our lives. I will say this: we would never ask for it to happen again. Do you want pain? No. But can we learn the deep lessons without it? I don\u2019t think so.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think that\u2019s a good reminder that our kids\u2014we hate, hate, hate when our kids go through pain; but I asked you when we took a break, I bet your kids are mature, those two older kids?<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Oh, yes!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I bet they\u2019re not the typical teenagers.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Brag on them. What are they like?<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes, special.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: My son is like\u2014I don\u2019t know how to explain this, but he plays just as critical a role as we do in the home. He\u2019s been through so much transition, so much change, so many things that didn\u2019t go his way. God used pain in that young man\u2019s life to create a dude that I don\u2019t just love as a son; I admire him as a man. So, yes, he\u2019s special; a special, special kid. Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What about your daughter, Brittany?<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Yes, she is a caretaker at heart. She, without question, will always go and comfort, specifically children, but she\u2019ll comfort even adults. She loves to take care of others and just meet needs and things like that. And let me tell you, they are both so creative. She\u2019s really passionate about sewing right now. She\u2019s been sewing dresses for herself, for me, for others; making pillows, clothes for people.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Pillows, clothes, baby clothes.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Doing it of her own volition. I don\u2019t know how to sew, and she knows how to do everything, based on looking at YouTube videos. She\u2019s taken a couple library courses just to have that. \u201cYou want to go to this adult sewing class to learn how to do this project?\u201d She says, \u201cOkay,\u201d and she just does it on her own. I don\u2019t even go in with her anymore.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I bet your 3- and 4-year olds, too, really admire them.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Oh, my gosh, they love them.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes, yes, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s so sweet.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, what about your marriage? You weathered a storm.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Many storms.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: There are probably other storms on the horizon. A lot of couples don\u2019t make it. They go through something like you\u2019ve gone through, and they don\u2019t make it. Or, [as] you said earlier, when you\u2019re in it, everything is heightened; your anger, your frustration can come out at your spouse.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So, talk to the couple that maybe is going through a storm right now, and they\u2019re not doing well. How would you help them?<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: I think the big thing is recognizing perspective in the storm. Our intensity\u2014and maybe it\u2019s just because we\u2019re westerners, and we have everything at the tip of our fingers, the intensity\u2014of our minds whenever we suffer is, \u201cWhen is this going to be over?\u201d That is our focus. We are fixated on it, we\u2019re locked in: \u201cWhen is this going to stop?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And yet, you see Jesus on the boat, in the storm, chilling; asleep; knocked out. The dope thing about what you see in Jesus\u2019 life is, obviously, yes, that\u2019s the Messiah. But fast forward to when Peter\u2019s locked up in prison. He\u2019s so knocked out, the text says the angel has to literally poke him in the stomach\u2014this is in the text, because he has so learned to rest in the storm.<\/p>\n<p>And so, instead of trying to fixate ourselves on: \u201cWhen is this over?\u201d resting in the One Who\u2019s in it with us becomes the whole goal. So, stuff comes up now; you talked about PTSD. Anytime she calls me, \u201cWhat\u2019s happening?\u201d And the first thought is, \u201cSomebody\u2019s going to the hospital; something happened at the crib; something\u2019s going down.\u201d We have the PTSD of that.<\/p>\n<p>We also\u2014our oldest have only lived in the hood, so we\u2014just have so much stuff; but that pain has brought about an understanding that, no matter what\u2019s about to encounter us, there\u2019s a God Who is over it, and there\u2019s a God Who\u2019s in it. And that, in and of itself, can keep two people locked in. It\u2019s like a reminder: \u201cBabe, there\u2019s a God Who\u2019s over it; there\u2019s a God Who\u2019s in it.\u201d \u201cHey, honey, there\u2019s a God Who\u2019s over it; there\u2019s a God Who\u2019s in it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And if each party can bring one another back to that mindset of sobriety, it takes the focus off of looking at that person as the enemy, and now, you realize: \u201cReally, the enemy is the one who\u2019s causing the problem.\u201d But if there\u2019s a God Who\u2019s over it, and there\u2019s a God Who\u2019s in it, even the enemy can\u2019t create the havoc that he wants to. So, we can literally sleep and rest, and we did.<\/p>\n<p>When our daughter seems to be dying, we can lock in and play games when it seems like the suffering won\u2019t stop. And we can experience deep moments of prayer and reflection and Scripture reading. \u201cWhat are you reading right now?\u201d \u201cNehemiah. What are you reading right now?\u201d \u201cI Thessalonians.\u201d And we get to talk about: \u201cYo, how does that connect?\u201d in the middle of suffering.<\/p>\n<p>So, if the habit is built outside of it, the habits will continue on in the middle of it. I just believe the sovereignty of God and the empathy of God allow for us to experience closeness even when we\u2019re in pain.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s so good! Rechab, I\u2019m wondering and just thinking about parents who are just in it\u2014whether they have a prodigal, because that\u2019s hard, too, and parents are blaming themselves, they don\u2019t know what to do; it could be sickness, it could be mental things that are going on with their kids or depression. I\u2019m just wondering if you would pray over these parents that are listening?<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re listening, and this is you, stop for a minute and just receive this prayer.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab:<\/p>\n<p>Father, we thank You that You are our Father. You know what You\u2019re doing. You\u2019re training us to do it as a mirror reflection of You. I think to Manoah, the father of Samson. [He] asked all the right questions, had all the right desires, loved You, and yet, Samson grew up and made horrible decisions. Lord, right now, even through that passage, I pray some parent is comforted that Manoah isn\u2019t blamed, and neither are they.<\/p>\n<p>But Lord, even if there have been ways that they have not been as faithful as they desire, would You remind them right now the truth from II Timothy, that when even they are faithless, You remain faithful, for You cannot deny Yourself? [2 Timothy 2:13] This is all, ultimately, You. You called them to be parents, You are the Heavenly Father, You are the One Who is training them to do their job a reflection of You; and You sent Your Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for each failure that all of us have had as parents and as sons and daughters.<\/p>\n<p>And then You rose from the dead victoriously, in order to empower us to be better parents than we ever could have been without Him, and to be better sons and daughters than we ever could have been without Him. And Lord, we thank You right now that we will not live defeated parent lives, but when we fail, we will confess, not only to You but to our children, and where we have been strong, will You encourage us to be even stronger in that area?<\/p>\n<p>And for all the in-betweens, the nooks and crannies, the cracks, the crevices, all of the brokenness in our lives, may we always be reminded that when You called us to be parents, You made a contract, not with us, but with Yourself. You signed both sides in the blood of Christ. And so, for that, we say thank You. And all we can do is long for the day when all that You began will be brought to completion when Jesus Christ returns.<\/p>\n<p>We love You, and we thank You, and we honor You. And it\u2019s in Jesus\u2019 mighty, matchless, and majestic name we pray. Amen.<\/p>\n<p>Dave and Ann: Amen.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Yes, I\u2019ve known Rechab for a few years now, and all that passion you hear in prayers like the one you just heard him pray, that passion is the real deal with him. That guy loves Jesus, understands the gospel, and knows the Scriptures. It kind of just spills out of him all the time. I hope you\u2019ve really been encouraged by him and his wife Brittany over the last three days that they have been with us here on this program.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Rechab and Brittany Gray on FamilyLife Today. Again, it\u2019s such a tremendous blessing to have them with us over the last few days.<\/p>\n<p>As we\u2019re heading into the fall here, sometimes we\u2019re really just looking for the perfect gift for our husband or wife, or maybe even for another couple. The Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage getaway is one of those things that you can gift to other people. Right now, you can get Weekend to Remember gift cards, because they are now 50 percent off.<\/p>\n<p>That allows you, really, to invest in your relationship now, and then choose your getaway later on. So, don\u2019t miss the chance to strengthen your marriage at half-cost until September 16th. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the Weekend to Remember banner to find out more information and locations of the different Weekend to Remember marriage getaways near you.<\/p>\n<p>Now, coming up tomorrow, David and Meg Robbins are going to be with us, talking about debunking the myth of perfect parenting. Do you ever wonder if you\u2019re a perfect parent, or can you be a perfect parent? David and Meg are going to be here to blow that up in the best way possible. That\u2019s tomorrow. We hope you\u2019ll join us.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. 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});\";s:18:\"current_block_list\";a:17:{i:0;s:14:\"uagb\/container\";i:1;s:12:\"core\/heading\";i:2;s:9:\"core\/html\";i:3;s:10:\"core\/group\";i:6;s:21:\"uagb\/advanced-heading\";i:7;s:14:\"uagb\/separator\";i:8;s:14:\"uagb\/icon-list\";i:9;s:20:\"uagb\/icon-list-child\";i:10;s:11:\"core\/search\";i:13;s:18:\"core\/legacy-widget\";i:16;s:10:\"uagb\/image\";i:17;s:17:\"core\/social-links\";i:18;s:16:\"core\/social-link\";i:19;s:14:\"core\/paragraph\";i:20;s:30:\"meta-box\/fl-conditional-blocks\";i:21;s:12:\"uagb\/buttons\";i:22;s:18:\"uagb\/buttons-child\";}s:8:\"uag_flag\";b:1;s:11:\"uag_version\";i:1776415230;s:6:\"gfonts\";a:1:{s:7:\"Default\";a:2:{s:10:\"fontfamily\";s:7:\"Default\";s:12:\"fontvariants\";a:0:{}}}s:10:\"gfonts_url\";s:71:\"\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\/css?family=Default&subset=latin&display=fallback\";s:12:\"gfonts_files\";a:0:{}s:14:\"uag_faq_layout\";b:0;}"]},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg",1024,1024,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Margaret","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coylefamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Enduring the pain of having a sick child seems impossible. Rechab and Brittany Gray recount the effect of multiple medical crises on their family and faith.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/guest\/rechab-gray\/\">More from Rechab on FamilyLife Today<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Read articles by Rechab on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thegospelcoalition.org\/profile\/rechab-gray\/\">The Gospel Coalition's website<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Don't miss out on our biggest sale of the season!<a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/weekend-to-remember\"> Weekend to Remember registrations are half price until September 16th<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-09-11.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Enduring the Pain of Sickness and Death<\/p>\n<p>Guests:Rechab and Brittany Gray<\/p>\n<p>From the series:God Who\u2019s Over It, God Who\u2019s In It (Day 3 of 3)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:September 11, 2024<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Our intensity of our minds whenever we suffer is: \u201cWhen is this going to be over? When is this going to stop?\u201d Yet you see Jesus on the boat in the storm, chilling; asleep; knocked out. And so, instead of trying to fixate ourselves on, \u201cWhen is this over?\u201d resting in the One Who\u2019s in it with us becomes the whole goal.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Do you feel like, the last two days, we\u2019re in this mini-series of this drama, and you can\u2019t wait for today because you need to hear how it ends?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, because I actually don\u2019t know how it ends. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I know!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I sort of know, but I don\u2019t really know, and I\u2019m guessing our listeners feel the same thing.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, and if you haven\u2019t listened to the last two days, please go back, because we\u2019ve been interviewing Rechab and Brittany Gray about their story. You guys are parents of four; you\u2019re a pastor here in Orlando. You\u2019ve had quite the journey; but yesterday, we ended at this crisis point of your life, because you didn\u2019t know whether your second child, your daughter, was going to live or die.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So, thanks again for sharing this, because a lot of us, when we\u2019re in pain, and our children are suffering, we don\u2019t even know how to process it sometimes with God [or] with each other. We haven\u2019t even asked how your marriage has endured through all the trial, because that affects our marriages, too.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes, indeed.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So, your daughter was just airlifted to a hospital. You didn\u2019t think she was going to make it, because it\u2019s bitterly cold in Iowa; and yet, you find out that, as they airlifted her and she\u2019s at a crisis point, her numbers were actually good. You thought she might die in the transfer.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: In the transfer, yes, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes, without a doubt; without a doubt.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Even yesterday. when you said, \u201cHey,\u201d when you were telling Brittany, \u201cPrepare yourself,\u201d\u2014that conversation in itself\u2014\u201cShe might not make this flight;\u201d Sickle Cell, cold; you knew the odds.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So, what happened?<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Well, God had a different story, and not only did she make it, but she arrived, and throughout the process, this is the first time she and I had actually been able to see her together.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Because it\u2019s during Covid.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Because it\u2019s during Covid. So, we are literally in the room with her, just praying over her daily.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: She was on a ventilator,\u2014Rechab: \u2014ventilator the whole time\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: \u2014completely under the whole time. We were in the room, but we didn\u2019t know if she could hear us or what was going on.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And you have a baby. You have an older son\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Oh, yes. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And you have a baby.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: And a baby.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Yes. We have amazing parents. Our parents jumped on a flight pretty much immediately when they found out Zipporah was in the ICU.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: And so, both of our parents worked together to keep our kids, because we didn\u2019t know how long we would be there. We didn\u2019t know how long we would have to leave our home to take care of our other child, so the boys stayed at home with Grandma and Grandpa while we were out two hours away and unable to be with them and see them. And I was seven months pregnant\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: \u2014yep! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014ohhh!<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: \u2014with our next one. Yes. The stay ended up being a lot longer than we knew, but we were grateful for that time, because we weren\u2019t sure if we were\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014and your one-year-old did not have Sickle Cell.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: No.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I just asked you, and your other [child] that was born (who you were pregnant with) does not have it.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: No, she does not.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Let me ask you this, because I\u2019m hearing this; do you know what\u2019s going through my mind? PTSD. [Laughter] You talk about trauma! You\u2019re walking through the greatest fears that parents have.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab and Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So, did that affect your marriage at all? You\u2019re probably not thinking, [Whining] \u201cOh, he\u2019s not being romantic.\u201d [Laughter] You\u2019re thinking, \u201cNo, our child may not make it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Rechab and Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Because a lot of couples don\u2019t make it when they face trauma that\u2019s really deep like that.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: This is where I can just brag on Brittany. Through that pain of miscarriage, where she talked about being able to experience now high joys and low pain and sorrow, her depth of walk with Jesus got so deep during that time. Had it not been, because when things like that are happening, every moment of stress is exacerbated ten times.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, or a hundred times.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Or a hundred times or a thousand times. Every little thing becomes the worst thing, so any little stress is like, \u201cWe need to fight over this.\u201d But, man, seriously, our relationship got so deep during that time. It happened first through the miscarriage. I was running super hard in ministry, and I had to stop.<\/p>\n<p>But that halt gave me things to think about: \u201cWhy do I care so much about this? Is this really for the Kingdom of God, or do I like the applause?\u201d I had to ask some hard questions, and it changed me. It literally shifted me. By the time this all happened, I was in a different place, but so was she.<\/p>\n<p>So, it was like God, through the miscarriages, was preparing us for what we were to face. Seriously, our depth of closeness was so close during that time and during that season, and that was necessary for the roller coaster ride we were going to be on with her in the hospital.<\/p>\n<p>But by the grace of God, about a month later almost, she was fully taken off the ventilator, and we were ultimately discharged. This is what was crazy, though\u2014and this is a part of the story I don\u2019t think many people actually know, so this might be a first or something: the day we get back to Des Moines, within hours, my son begins to complain of the same exact pain that brought her into the hospital.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Noooo!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: No way.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Same day.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Same day, like clockwork. Every single thing she said was happening to him. And we go in the hospital, exact same thing. His oxygen is low. I\u2019m [thinking], \u201cLord!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I mean, how much is too much? Are you thinking that?<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes, legit. Legit.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Like, \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: That was where it was like, \u201cThis is more than we can bear.\u201d But we\u2019re not bearing it alone. I love what Paul says in 2 Corinthians: \u201cto show that the excessiveness of power is not our own but is from the Lord.\u201d [2 Corinthians 3:5] It really was just God\u2019s strength at that point in time. We had nothing left! There was no \u201cAlright, let\u2019s gear up.\u201d Done gearing up. It was like, \u201cLord, You\u2019re just going to literally have to pick us up and carry us through this.\u201d It was dope, because the doctors (because they had seen my daughter), were far more aggressive with treatment.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Oh!<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: So, what could have been another month of intubation and life flighting, turned into just a week in that hospital, and he was able to go home. But as you pile up all these things, [and] she\u2019s also now seven months pregnant, it was so overwhelming. We felt like, \u201cWe just have to get out of here.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I\u2019m feeling it for you! [Laughter] I\u2019m thinking, \u201cWhat? What? What?!?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Brittany, I\u2019m just thinking: one, you just had this baby; two, you\u2019re pregnant, so hormones are all over the place. Then you have your mama\u2019s heart with your daughter, and now your son goes back in. Are you on your face before God, or are you just so numb in survival that you can\u2019t even function?<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: That\u2019s a good question.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: That is a good question. Yes, I think what he said is right. During that time watching my daughter in the hospital, in the hospital bed, unresponsive; not able to communicate with us, and we don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on. Every now and then the ICU nurse runs in because something flares up\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014ohhh!<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: \u2014and you\u2019re like, \u201dOkay, okay, she\u2019s fine. She\u2019s fine.\u201d Doing a lot of research of my own. We were fortunate; we have a couple nurses and doctors in our family, so we\u2019re texting them. \u201cWhat does this mean? What does that mean?\u201d Yes. I think I remember this specifically: I remember him calling me when she first got intubated. I remember sitting on the stairs, and I remember that call. I remember saying, \u201cRechab, are we going to lose our daughter?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And I remember being sad, but I remember being at peace. [Emotional, long silence] And that peace kept me, which is funny because that\u2019s what the Lord showed me when I first came to Christ, that peace. I\u2019m just so amazingly supported by this man. He encourages me to get in my Word and pray; and so, at that season of not being able to communicate with my daughter, reading and praying was what we were doing.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Where could you identify that peace coming from? How did you have it?<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: God-given. Absolutely God-given, because like you said, I\u2019m a mom. That\u2019s literally what my job was. I wasn\u2019t working full time. I was a mom! That\u2019s what I do. That\u2019s who I am. I would identify myself as, primarily, first, before I\u2019m \u201cChildren\u2019s Ministry Team,\u201d I am a mom.<\/p>\n<p>So, for me to be okay with the thought of, \u201cI had nine years with this girl, and it was wonderful;\u201d [tearful] and for me to be okay with, \u201cIf this is how things end, I will be okay,\u201d was absolutely from the Lord; absolutely from the Lord.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It\u2019s quite a journey. If our listeners have been listening for the last couple of days\u2014I don\u2019t know if it was yesterday or two days ago, I don\u2019t even remember\u2014where you said, initially, with your children born with Sickle Cell, you thought, \u201cWe\u2019re being punished.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Rechab and Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I had a little brother die, when I was seven and he was five, of leukemia.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Oh, wow.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I\u2019m pretty sure my dad went to his death bed believing it was punishment for his adulterous affairs.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab and Brittany: Oh, Jesus.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Wow.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I think he really felt like that was a punishment for his sin. That\u2019s where you guys started.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab and Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s what you were feeling, and here you are, toward the end of this thing\u2014There\u2019s a passage in John 9. We\u2019re looking at Mr. Bible over here. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: No, sir.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I\u2019m guessing you know John 9?Rechab: No; no, I don\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s the passage where He heals the blind man, and the question to Jesus is, \u201cWho sinned? Was it him or his parents, that he was born blind?\u201d They were thinking the same thing: \u201cGod is punishing somebody with this disease.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Rechab and Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So, as you think about even that, that journey, I know there is a listener or thousands, because it\u2019s sort of almost human nature; we feel like we get rewarded for good and punished for bad.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: That\u2019s true.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: What do you say to a parent who may think there\u2019s punishment in their family, or to another family member, probably a child, like you, and they think it\u2019s because of their sin?<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: A quick response is: in Christ, the wrath of God has been satisfied.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Absolutely.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: There you go.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: It\u2019s such a strange thing to fully embrace, but not embracing it will only lead to more sin. This is why the evil one wants to keep that lie in front of us. We think if we believe it\u2019s punishment, that we\u2019ll then stop. But it\u2019s actually like, if we believe it\u2019s punishment from God, it actually leads to just more stuff, because we don\u2019t realize that God is wooing us to Him and not away from Him.<\/p>\n<p>So, God does discipline His children. Hebrews makes that clear; but His discipline is always, always kind and gracious and good for us. There are going to be some painful moments in life. Without a doubt, we experience painful moments in life, but in Christ pain is not unredemptive. The amount of things that changed our walk, that transformed our experience with Christ through all of these things, from Sickle Cell\u2014it matured us crazy fast, and we needed to be, married at 21.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know what we would be had our kids not had Sickle Cell, because I think I\u2019d still be a selfish knucklehead. It was seeing my son in pain that changed, even, how I loved her. Who knows what happens without even experiencing the loss of children? And I say all that not because those things are good things.<\/p>\n<p>We don\u2019t celebrate suffering, but we can celebrate the Savior Who is able to redeem suffering and turn it into something transformative. And in our lives, those things have been bedrocks of our lives. I will say this: we would never ask for it to happen again. Do you want pain? No. But can we learn the deep lessons without it? I don\u2019t think so.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think that\u2019s a good reminder that our kids\u2014we hate, hate, hate when our kids go through pain; but I asked you when we took a break, I bet your kids are mature, those two older kids?<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Oh, yes!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I bet they\u2019re not the typical teenagers.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Brag on them. What are they like?<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes, special.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: My son is like\u2014I don\u2019t know how to explain this, but he plays just as critical a role as we do in the home. He\u2019s been through so much transition, so much change, so many things that didn\u2019t go his way. God used pain in that young man\u2019s life to create a dude that I don\u2019t just love as a son; I admire him as a man. So, yes, he\u2019s special; a special, special kid. Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What about your daughter, Brittany?<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Yes, she is a caretaker at heart. She, without question, will always go and comfort, specifically children, but she\u2019ll comfort even adults. She loves to take care of others and just meet needs and things like that. And let me tell you, they are both so creative. She\u2019s really passionate about sewing right now. She\u2019s been sewing dresses for herself, for me, for others; making pillows, clothes for people.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Pillows, clothes, baby clothes.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Doing it of her own volition. I don\u2019t know how to sew, and she knows how to do everything, based on looking at YouTube videos. She\u2019s taken a couple library courses just to have that. \u201cYou want to go to this adult sewing class to learn how to do this project?\u201d She says, \u201cOkay,\u201d and she just does it on her own. I don\u2019t even go in with her anymore.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I bet your 3- and 4-year olds, too, really admire them.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Oh, my gosh, they love them.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: Yes, yes, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s so sweet.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, what about your marriage? You weathered a storm.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Many storms.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: There are probably other storms on the horizon. A lot of couples don\u2019t make it. They go through something like you\u2019ve gone through, and they don\u2019t make it. Or, [as] you said earlier, when you\u2019re in it, everything is heightened; your anger, your frustration can come out at your spouse.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So, talk to the couple that maybe is going through a storm right now, and they\u2019re not doing well. How would you help them?<\/p>\n<p>Rechab: I think the big thing is recognizing perspective in the storm. Our intensity\u2014and maybe it\u2019s just because we\u2019re westerners, and we have everything at the tip of our fingers, the intensity\u2014of our minds whenever we suffer is, \u201cWhen is this going to be over?\u201d That is our focus. We are fixated on it, we\u2019re locked in: \u201cWhen is this going to stop?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And yet, you see Jesus on the boat, in the storm, chilling; asleep; knocked out. The dope thing about what you see in Jesus\u2019 life is, obviously, yes, that\u2019s the Messiah. But fast forward to when Peter\u2019s locked up in prison. He\u2019s so knocked out, the text says the angel has to literally poke him in the stomach\u2014this is in the text, because he has so learned to rest in the storm.<\/p>\n<p>And so, instead of trying to fixate ourselves on: \u201cWhen is this over?\u201d resting in the One Who\u2019s in it with us becomes the whole goal. So, stuff comes up now; you talked about PTSD. Anytime she calls me, \u201cWhat\u2019s happening?\u201d And the first thought is, \u201cSomebody\u2019s going to the hospital; something happened at the crib; something\u2019s going down.\u201d We have the PTSD of that.<\/p>\n<p>We also\u2014our oldest have only lived in the hood, so we\u2014just have so much stuff; but that pain has brought about an understanding that, no matter what\u2019s about to encounter us, there\u2019s a God Who is over it, and there\u2019s a God Who\u2019s in it. And that, in and of itself, can keep two people locked in. It\u2019s like a reminder: \u201cBabe, there\u2019s a God Who\u2019s over it; there\u2019s a God Who\u2019s in it.\u201d \u201cHey, honey, there\u2019s a God Who\u2019s over it; there\u2019s a God Who\u2019s in it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And if each party can bring one another back to that mindset of sobriety, it takes the focus off of looking at that person as the enemy, and now, you realize: \u201cReally, the enemy is the one who\u2019s causing the problem.\u201d But if there\u2019s a God Who\u2019s over it, and there\u2019s a God Who\u2019s in it, even the enemy can\u2019t create the havoc that he wants to. So, we can literally sleep and rest, and we did.<\/p>\n<p>When our daughter seems to be dying, we can lock in and play games when it seems like the suffering won\u2019t stop. And we can experience deep moments of prayer and reflection and Scripture reading. \u201cWhat are you reading right now?\u201d \u201cNehemiah. What are you reading right now?\u201d \u201cI Thessalonians.\u201d And we get to talk about: \u201cYo, how does that connect?\u201d in the middle of suffering.<\/p>\n<p>So, if the habit is built outside of it, the habits will continue on in the middle of it. I just believe the sovereignty of God and the empathy of God allow for us to experience closeness even when we\u2019re in pain.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s so good! Rechab, I\u2019m wondering and just thinking about parents who are just in it\u2014whether they have a prodigal, because that\u2019s hard, too, and parents are blaming themselves, they don\u2019t know what to do; it could be sickness, it could be mental things that are going on with their kids or depression. I\u2019m just wondering if you would pray over these parents that are listening?<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re listening, and this is you, stop for a minute and just receive this prayer.<\/p>\n<p>Rechab:<\/p>\n<p>Father, we thank You that You are our Father. You know what You\u2019re doing. You\u2019re training us to do it as a mirror reflection of You. I think to Manoah, the father of Samson. [He] asked all the right questions, had all the right desires, loved You, and yet, Samson grew up and made horrible decisions. Lord, right now, even through that passage, I pray some parent is comforted that Manoah isn\u2019t blamed, and neither are they.<\/p>\n<p>But Lord, even if there have been ways that they have not been as faithful as they desire, would You remind them right now the truth from II Timothy, that when even they are faithless, You remain faithful, for You cannot deny Yourself? [2 Timothy 2:13] This is all, ultimately, You. You called them to be parents, You are the Heavenly Father, You are the One Who is training them to do their job a reflection of You; and You sent Your Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for each failure that all of us have had as parents and as sons and daughters.<\/p>\n<p>And then You rose from the dead victoriously, in order to empower us to be better parents than we ever could have been without Him, and to be better sons and daughters than we ever could have been without Him. And Lord, we thank You right now that we will not live defeated parent lives, but when we fail, we will confess, not only to You but to our children, and where we have been strong, will You encourage us to be even stronger in that area?<\/p>\n<p>And for all the in-betweens, the nooks and crannies, the cracks, the crevices, all of the brokenness in our lives, may we always be reminded that when You called us to be parents, You made a contract, not with us, but with Yourself. You signed both sides in the blood of Christ. And so, for that, we say thank You. And all we can do is long for the day when all that You began will be brought to completion when Jesus Christ returns.<\/p>\n<p>We love You, and we thank You, and we honor You. And it\u2019s in Jesus\u2019 mighty, matchless, and majestic name we pray. Amen.<\/p>\n<p>Dave and Ann: Amen.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Yes, I\u2019ve known Rechab for a few years now, and all that passion you hear in prayers like the one you just heard him pray, that passion is the real deal with him. That guy loves Jesus, understands the gospel, and knows the Scriptures. It kind of just spills out of him all the time. I hope you\u2019ve really been encouraged by him and his wife Brittany over the last three days that they have been with us here on this program.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Rechab and Brittany Gray on FamilyLife Today. Again, it\u2019s such a tremendous blessing to have them with us over the last few days.<\/p>\n<p>As we\u2019re heading into the fall here, sometimes we\u2019re really just looking for the perfect gift for our husband or wife, or maybe even for another couple. The Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage getaway is one of those things that you can gift to other people. Right now, you can get Weekend to Remember gift cards, because they are now 50 percent off.<\/p>\n<p>That allows you, really, to invest in your relationship now, and then choose your getaway later on. So, don\u2019t miss the chance to strengthen your marriage at half-cost until September 16th. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the Weekend to Remember banner to find out more information and locations of the different Weekend to Remember marriage getaways near you.<\/p>\n<p>Now, coming up tomorrow, David and Meg Robbins are going to be with us, talking about debunking the myth of perfect parenting. Do you ever wonder if you\u2019re a perfect parent, or can you be a perfect parent? David and Meg are going to be here to blow that up in the best way possible. That\u2019s tomorrow. We hope you\u2019ll join us.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/294636","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=294636"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280865"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=294636"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=294636"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=294636"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=294636"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=294636"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=294636"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}