{"id":292963,"date":"2024-09-03T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-09-03T08:45:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/wanna-be-better-together\/"},"modified":"2025-06-10T16:43:00","modified_gmt":"2025-06-10T20:43:00","slug":"wanna-be-better-together","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/wanna-be-better-together\/","title":{"rendered":"Wanna Be Better Together?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Do you and your spouse want to be better together? FamilyLife President David Robbins, and his wife Meg, share a surprise source for strength in your marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you and your spouse want to be better together? FamilyLife President David Robbins, and his wife Meg, share a surprise source for strength in your marriage, on FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280865,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/5aa43f35-882e-4238-950f-b1db00fb315e\/audio.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:24:58","filesize":"22.90M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2024-09-03 08:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2908,2901,2831],"tags":[3001],"podcast_series":[8791],"cwp_profile":[3576],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-292963","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-forgiveness","category-husbands","category-wives","tag-be-better-together","podcast_series-teammates-in-marriage","cwp_profile-david-and-meg-robbins","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/292963\/wanna-be-better-together","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/292963\/wanna-be-better-together","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"nrYASzKrNd\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/wanna-be-better-together\/\">Wanna Be Better Together?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/wanna-be-better-together\/embed\/#?secret=nrYASzKrNd\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Wanna Be Better Together?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"nrYASzKrNd\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg",1024,1024,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Margaret","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coylefamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Do you and your spouse want to be better together? FamilyLife President David Robbins, and his wife Meg, share a surprise source for strength in your marriage, on FamilyLife Today.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<ul>\n<li>Don't miss out on our biggest sale of the season! <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/weekend-to-remember\/\">Weekend to Remember registrations are half price until September 16th<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-09-03.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Wanna Be Better Together?<\/p>\n<p>Guests:David and Meg Robbins<\/p>\n<p>From the series:Teammates in Marriage (Day 2 of 2)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:Tuesday, September 3, 2024<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Hey, before we get started, I\u2019ve got to tell you something exciting happening right now at FamilyLife\u00ae.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, this is good news you want to hear.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Our FamilyLife Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage getaways are half-off.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Whoo-hoo! The registration fee.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, you can sign up right now [at] FamilyLifeToday.com; you can go to a Weekend to Remember. It\u2019s literally going to change your marriage, and it\u2019s half off.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So, what\u2019s the most important thing you keep in our shower?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Um, my particular shampoo and conditioner.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, that wouldn\u2019t be it for me. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It wouldn\u2019t, would it?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You\u2019re not going to ask me what mine is?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Okay, what\u2019s yours?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: What do you think it is?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Your razor.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Ahh, you\u2019re exactly right!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Of course.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I\u2019ve got to shave my bald head!<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, you know what\u2019s really interesting? I\u2019ve never heard of a couple putting a Ziploc\u00ae bag in a shower with their mission and values, so they can look at it. Have you ever heard of that?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I want to meet this couple. This is pretty remarkable.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We\u2019ve got them sitting in the studio right in front of us. David and Meg Robbins, welcome to FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>Meg: It\u2019s a treat to be with y\u2019all.<\/p>\n<p>David: Indeed.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I\u2019m sure people are leaning in and intrigued by: \u201cWhat\u2019s this Ziploc bag thing?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>David: It\u2019s a values process that is simple. We had some mentors give it to us, and we\u2019ve used it several times. We\u2019re actually in a process, now, of doing it again.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s so simple. All you do is:\u00a0you get away, individually.\u00a0You list out: okay, as you think about this next season of life\u2014which at that time, our next season of life was two to three years; our most recent one was more like seven to ten years. You know, we\u2019ve got high school to consider and our kids going to college. This chapter we\u2019re in\u2014we\u2019re thinking more in decade chunks; more than the next two- to three-year chunk.<\/p>\n<p>You take that next season, and you list out any value that you have, and passions, giftings, burdens. You know, you get away, and after about an hour, you\u2019re just frustrated, I feel like; and you\u2019re like, \u201cOh, I could have done this in a Starbucks\u00ae at home! Why are we away?\u201d You know? Then you just ask the Holy Spirit: \u201cLord, help me. You know the future. You know what You wired in me. Help me surface values that You\u2019ve engrained on our heart for who You uniquely have made us.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And so, you keep listing out values, and the Holy Spirit keeps meeting you in those places. Then you rank them individually:\u00a0what would be most important for this next season in your life?\u00a0What needs to be delayed for a season, even though it\u2019s a part of you and you\u2019re passionate about it?<\/p>\n<p>Then you come together, and the most powerful thing happens when you come together. And if you\u2019re not married, you could do this with a close friend\u2014a friend that knows you and can speak life into you\u2014but you come together. And we\u2019ve always had those great moments of: \u201cWhy is this one so low? This is who you are! Why don\u2019t you believe this about yourself?\u201d or \u201cWhy is this one so high?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>For me, I remember I was 29 when we were first doing this value process. I just felt like I was getting behind my peers in buying a home. I had owning a home really high up there in the spirit of: \u201cYou know, we\u2019re creative, and we like making home. We do hospitality out of our home for missional purposes. We need a home.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I remember Meg challenging me, going, \u201cOkay, why is that one so high?\u201d\u00a0When I got underneath it, it was because I felt like I was falling behind my peers. It\u2019s still probably ranked high for missionaries who said, \u201cWe\u2019ll go wherever we need to go and do whatever God commands to do,\u201d but it was put in its right place as we came and meshed our values together and ranked them together.<\/p>\n<p>Then you [Meg] share what we do with them.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: Yes, and then, for us\u2014I mean, everyone can choose your own method, but for us\u2014we kind of see: \u201cOkay, where\u2019s the cutoff line of about the top three to five that we really feel like the Lord. . . \u201d I mean a lot of prayer goes into this too, you know? We\u2019re just asking the Lord to shine a flashlight on the ones that He is writing on our life.<\/p>\n<p>When we kind of have the top three to five\u2014or sometimes, you know, maybe there\u2019s seven, but three that you really want to be true about you, we print them out and put them in a Ziploc bag, and tape them up in the shower and just pray over them every day.<\/p>\n<p>If we\u2019re trying to make a decision, then we pray through the decision. For us, it has been so much more powerful than a pro-con list, because you can kind of pro-con anything, you know?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Give us an example of your top three.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: Okay, that\u2019s a good one. When we were\u2014I\u2019m thinking about when we were moving to New York City. We had been living\u2014<\/p>\n<p>David: \u2014we did not know that we were moving to New York City.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: Right, we didn\u2019t know what God had for us, but we knew God was stirring up change and just challenging us to something different. One of the top ones was \u201cto live in a more lost and diverse context,\u201d just a place where not everybody\u2014we were kind of living in a suburban, very churched area, and we felt like God was calling us to step outside of that and into more diversity.<\/p>\n<p>David: Another one was us \u201cleading together in more tangible ways\u201d as part of our job descriptions. I was a Regional Director, visiting campuses. I was traveling a lot, away from my family.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: We had small children, so, it made sense at that time; but they were getting a little older, and we were starting to think through: \u201cOkay, what does it look like for us to partner in ministry again?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>David: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So, you tape those up in your shower, and you pray over those whenever you\u2019re in the shower?<\/p>\n<p>David: Yes. Then, we would do that for a season, like three months. During those three months, we knew\u2014I remember driving home from that hotel where we did those values in that landed us eventually in New York City, [thinking], \u201cI don\u2019t know what\u2019s about to happen, but I bet we\u2019re going to adopt a Cystic Fibrosis kid, because we already have one. So, we\u2019ll do that, and we\u2019ll move to midtown Atlanta.\u201d Like, that was my first\u2014 \u201cOkay, I\u2019m driving home. That\u2019s what I bet is going to happen.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>David: I didn\u2019t think a job change was coming. I didn\u2019t think moving [from] Atlanta was coming; just moving within Atlanta is what I thought. And then, as we prayed, we just felt the Lord continue to open our hands.<\/p>\n<p>We actually went down to Miami three times, because I was convinced it was Miami. And the Lord kept using the value process to\u2014and for me to listen to my wife and the pace she was really discerning also, to go, \u201cI don\u2019t know if this is it. Let\u2019s\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We checked out New York and a few other ones, and as God led us to New York, I\u2019m sitting here today\u2014we\u2019re sitting here\u2014and I just go, \u201cMan, in sovereignty, who knows what God would have done? He would have worked His will out, but I don\u2019t know that we would be serving in this role together and getting to be the team that we are in this role if it weren\u2019t for those values that God met us in, and that, as we prayed over them, led us to New York, and ministered to the next generation in a secular context.<\/p>\n<p>We discovered the power of the home, and how the family can be such a powerful conduit for evangelism and discipleship in a very secular place.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And we can put your worksheet\u2014you have a worksheet, right?<\/p>\n<p>David: That\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We can put that on FamilyLife.com.<\/p>\n<p>David: Yes, we\u2019ll do it.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You [listener] can use that. Because I\u2019m, right now, foreseeing that a Ziploc bag is going into my shower. [Laughter] Because my wife is over there\u2014I can tell Ann\u2019s all excited about that\u2014like, \u201cYes, what would that look like, even at our stage in life?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Well, I mean, coming out of those values as well\u2014I\u2019ve heard both of you say, many times; in fact, one of the first times I was around you, I heard this phrase come out\u2014and now I\u2019ve heard it often that I know this is part of how you work: \u201cIf dependence is the goal, weakness is an advantage.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>David: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Again, I get it as soon as I hear it, but I\u2019ve never really heard that stated like that. So, talk about that.<\/p>\n<p>David: Yes, well, ultimately, if dependence on the Lord is how we live our lives; if abiding in Him is the requirement for fruit to be produced\u2014I don\u2019t know what it is in me, but I believe that with all my heart, yet, functionally, I get it backwards all the time.<\/p>\n<p>I have to remind myself, over and over and over again: \u201cI am not sufficiently good, wise, or gifted enough to make this thing work\u201d\u2014whether it\u2019s my kids, whether it\u2019s our relationship as a husband and wife, whether it is leading a ministry, I\u2019m not good enough! I have to depend upon the Lord, even if I feel like all the boxes are checked, and everything is perfect. Dependence is the key to living out an abiding life that bears fruit; fruit that will remain. It comes from fully experiencing our weakness.<\/p>\n<p>That is the thing that gets hard for me, that I feel like He started teaching me when I was around 30: \u201cYou\u2019ve really got to be okay with your weakness.\u201d Almost inviting diving into your weakness; because, as Paul says in 2 Corinthians, \u201cIt is in our weakness that God\u2019s power is made perfect.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It is so funny! As you say that, I\u2019m recalling the first year of speaking at the Weekend to Remember getaway. I was 29 and 30 years old. I was petrified! I\u2019m thinking, \u201cWhat do I have to say? These women have been married longer than I have. I\u2019m nobody. I have nothing to say.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Right before I would get up to speak, I\u2019m in the shower that morning, lying\u2014like I am on the bathtub, lying prostrate, begging God, \u201cI can\u2019t do it! I cannot do it! I have nothing in me that would help me to do this except for You. I depend totally and completely on You, God. I need You to do this in and through me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It sounds like you guys have done that many times: \u201cI can\u2019t do this apart from You, Lord.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>David: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: Yes, I feel like we find ourselves there a lot. You\u2019re very right, and I think the dependence on the Lord is actually the part that is not exhausting. It\u2019s the sitting in the weakness, and continually finding ourselves there, just: \u201cOkay, we don\u2019t have everything it takes.\u201d That\u2019s why we desperately need the Lord and what He can do in His power.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It sounds like Moses; sounds like Gideon, you know?<\/p>\n<p>Meg: It\u2019s everybody, all through the Bible.<\/p>\n<p>David: It\u2019s all through Scripture, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: In fact, when we were asked to consider taking this role, we were praying about it for a few months and, certainly, seeking the Lord.<\/p>\n<p>David was out of town one week. We were living in New York City in our small apartment, and he had been out of town for three or four days. It was a Sunday morning, and I was thinking, \u201cI\u2019ve got to get everybody to church,\u201d\u2014if for no other reason, certainly, we all need Jesus, but I might just need a minute,\u201d you know? [Laughter] We\u2019re on our way to church\u2014and at this time, we had four children (they were all ten and under). So, walking down the street in New York City\u2014if you\u2019re not familiar with walking with a family, you really can\u2019t walk just in a big old line, spread out. And then kids, you know, kind of want to run around everywhere, but you really\u2014I mean, we lived there for almost five years. Our kids knew: \u201cYou really need to walk two by two, making space for other people who might pass you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Well, everyone was kind of everywhere, and somebody almost tripped an elderly lady, and I just lost it. I just lost my temper and snapped at somebody: \u201cGet back in line!\u201d Who knows what I said?<\/p>\n<p>David: Yes; in New York City, people often say, \u201cYou proudly have your public cries,\u201d where you get, you know, you\u2019re like, \u201cYes, it\u2019s just normal to public cry.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>David: There\u2019s also public parent disciplining [Laughter]\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Meg: \u2014yes!<\/p>\n<p>David: \u2014and it\u2019s really on display. Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: And your sin comes out in front of everybody, and it\u2019s kind of humiliating. So, we get to church, and I get everybody checked into their class and sit down.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Which is an accomplishment, Meg. I\u2019m just going to say, \u201cWay to go!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>David: True.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: Thank you! Thank you\u2014on my own, it felt like it. [Laughter] I texted David, though, and I said, \u201cI really don\u2019t think we can take this role.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>David: No, no! That\u2019s not what you said. You texted me and said, \u201cHey, we\u2019re not doing it. We\u2019ll talk after church.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That was it? That was the text?<\/p>\n<p>Meg: That is actually much more accurate.<\/p>\n<p>David: I go, \u201cOh, no! What has happened?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Meg: \u201cIt is over.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You sent that text? Why?<\/p>\n<p>Meg: Because I was feeling the reality of how, \u201cI\u2019m a terrible mom.\u201d All of the inadequacies that I was feeling, and taking this role to lead a family ministry, and I can\u2019t even keep my cool on the way to church? You know? I mean, it just felt like, \u201cThis is not for me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When they first asked us to consider the role, my first comment was, \u201cUm, I think if you had been with us at Disney\u00ae today, you would not be asking us.\u201d [Laughter] Because we were in Orlando for a conference. I just felt like, \u201cMaybe, you need to come live with us for a week before you ask us to do that.\u201d\u00a0But the Lord just kept having to bring me back to this place of: \u201cWhat does dependency look like?\u201d because I am weak.<\/p>\n<p>And that morning in church\u2014we were going to Redeemer at the time, and Tim Keller was preaching that day on John, Chapter 21; after He has died; He has risen again; He is coming back to the disciples, and He is talking to Peter. He says three times, \u201cDo you love Me?\u201d He\u2019s like, \u201cYes, Lord,\u201d almost to the point of: \u201cWhy are You asking me the third time?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But Tim Keller talked about how He (Jesus) was doing that on purpose, three times, just like he [Peter] had denied Jesus three times, to let him experience: \u201cYes, you messed up, but I still love you.\u201d And because \u201cyou are right here with Me, plunging the reality of your sin into My grace.\u201d Because Peter was bringing that to Jesus and experiencing that fellowship again, Jesus tells him: \u201cIf you love Me, feed My sheep.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He says it three times. Every time, He says, \u201cDo you love Me?\u201d He [Peter] says, \u201cYes.\u201d \u201cThen, feed My sheep.\u201d He [Tim] talks about [how]: \u201cWe don\u2019t have it all together! Jesus doesn\u2019t call the equipped. He equips those that He calls.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The Lord just used it that morning. After\u2014by the time\u2014church was over, and we did have a conversation, it was really like the Lord said, \u201cDo you trust Me to be the gaps in your life\u2014to fill in? I\u2019m not asking you to be perfect in order to step into this. I\u2019m asking you to trust Me in a radical way.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>David: Every follower of Jesus gets invited by the Holy Spirit, [who] is embedded in their lives. The Spirit is the One [who] equips them with the gifts and empowers them to be able to live out mission\u2014every person, whether it\u2019s in your neighborhood, and God\u2019s lifting your eyes to your neighbors; whether you are in a school, and He\u2019s lifting your eyes to people around you; whether it is your grandkids\u2014the list goes on and on. God invites us to build His kingdom by impacting others.<\/p>\n<p>We experience transformation with Jesus and Him meeting us in our weakness, and then, He uses us as agents of transformation, right, for others to experience, because we can guarantee others are experiencing their weakness also. But, when it comes to living it out, God delights, I believe, in putting His people in positions where they are desperate on Him\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Meg: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>David: \u2014because that\u2019s when His glory comes through with power, because we get to the end of ourselves, and we say, \u201cGod, I need You to show up or else.\u201d Just like Second Avenue and going to church, He does. He meets us in the places we need Him most.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It\u2019s interesting, because I think it\u2019s so against how we try to live. Even the culture is like: \u201cBe strong!\u201d \u201cYou are strong.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Meg: \u201cYou\u2019ve got this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes. I mean, I\u2019m thinking of all the years I spent in the NFL, in those locker rooms. It\u2019s the opposite! Nobody is talking about weakness there, even though they\u2019re feeling it: \u201cI\u2019m not adequate. If I drop this punt, I\u2019m getting cut.\u201d Nobody says that. They\u2019re like, \u201cI\u2019m the man. I can do this!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And I think we do that in the Church. I think we sort of try to believe that we\u2019ve got everything that we need; which we do in a sense in Christ,\u2014David: \u2014sure.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014but we often don\u2019t want to reveal weakness; we don\u2019t want to show weakness. We read Paul\u2019s words, and we\u2019re like, \u201cWhat [does] he mean, \u2018In my weakness, I am strong?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, the church has become a place where you fake it; you hide. Yet, you\u2019re saying\u2014I mean, that such a statement: \u201cIf dependence is the goal, weakness is an advantage.\u201d[It\u2019s] like, \u201cNo, no, no! I don\u2019t ever want weakness.\u201d And yet, that\u2019s what brought you here. And I think it\u2019s so amazing how on\u2014what was it? Second Ave?<\/p>\n<p>David: Second Avenue, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: Second Ave.<\/p>\n<p>David: Second Ave, probably around 72nd Street.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I mean, I think it\u2019s amazing how that\u2019s happening to you; you [Dave] get this text, and then God brings this moment in church. That\u2019s not just happenstance. It\u2019s like God has called you. He needs to remind you of something, and here you are!<\/p>\n<p>David: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: What about the couple, though, that just will not embrace it? Because you are saying, \u201cEmbrace weakness.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Well, I\u2019m thinking of the listeners that are in it right now. They are just struggling! They are at the end of themselves, they feel desperate and alone, and they see no hope. How would you encourage them?<\/p>\n<p>David: I would just say, first of all: don\u2019t just be a believer of grace in getting what you don\u2019t deserve; be a lover of grace.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The fact that we have a God who comes to us in grace and truth, and gives us what we don\u2019t deserve, and sent Jesus to meet the criteria of truth for us to have a relationship with Him\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Be a lover of grace, and relate to God; just start pouring your heart out to Him. Dave, you said it\u2014because we\u2019re in Christ; Colossians says, \u201cChrist in us, the hope of glory.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>David: Because we are in Christ, it\u2019s not our performance and others\u2019 opinions that become our identity\u2014but that is how we operate, even as followers of Jesus. Believers of grace can believe all the right things, but yet, deep down, when they are functioning, it\u2019s my performance and others\u2019 opinions, and that\u2019s my identity; instead of Christ\u2019s performance, His opinion, and that being our identity. That may feel a little trite and a spiritual platitude, but just that honest, gut-level of: \u201cGod, I don\u2019t have it, and I don\u2019t even know where to turn.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I mean, Meg invites me into humility, being able to have a space to be humble and [say], \u201cI\u2019ve been trying to hold it all together, and I don\u2019t have it. I\u2019m so sorry I\u2019ve created distance between me and you.\u201d I often create distance, because I try to hold it all together too long. Then, I can be a lover of grace to the Lord, and then move toward her and [say]: \u201cI\u2019m going to stop performing so wholeheartedly here; I\u2019m going to trust in Christ\u2019s performance.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Meg: Yes, I think a really practical thing that we\u2019ve tried to live out (and it\u2019s hard to do!); but I think of Nancy Leigh DeMoss Wolgemuth talking about taking the roof off before the Lord, and the walls down before others. I think that, when we are feeling that way\u2014inadequate or just weak, ultimately, we\u2019re feeling our weakness,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014yes.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: \u2014our tendency is to kind of hole-up and cover that up.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We hide in shame.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: We do; we hide in shame, and I\u2019m totally guilty of that. But I think the times that we\u2019ve experienced God\u2019s power the most is when we confess that before the Lord and come to Him and say, \u201cLord, I don\u2019t have it. I don\u2019t have what it takes. I desperately need You!\u201d And coming before one another, or close friends, and taking those walls down and saying, \u201cThis is where I am feeling so weak, where I\u2019m really struggling.\u201d That almost makes room for God\u2019s power to come alive even more.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Now, I\u2019m guessing\u2014I don\u2019t know for sure\u2014you\u2019ve had some moments in the last couple of years, because you\u2019ve had to lead a major ministry [FamilyLife] through one of the hardest seasons\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014a pandemic!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014in the world.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Take us into your family room or, maybe, your kitchen, when you\u2019re trying to lead this ministry through this valley, as a couple. What were those nights like? Were they nights where you had to say to Meg, \u201cMan, I\u2019m scared to death,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t think\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>David: Part of it was really depending upon the Lord out of the gate; but then as it lengthened, it began\u2014and we\u2019ve been honest; it began\u2014to kind of drive a wedge in between us. I started worrying so much about keeping FamilyLife afloat, and the functioning of our family moving during the pandemic, which was a part of what we had to do.<\/p>\n<p>I really got so overly busy in that, that, really, if you\u2019d come in the family room, 12 months into the pandemic, we had to look at each other in the eye and [say], \u201cOkay, we\u2019re functioning well, but how are we really when it comes to our oneness?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The pandemic has caused a current and a drift in our own lives that has drifted us apart. We really had to get out of the current. And just like [when] we go to the beach and the currents are strong, we have to wave our kids back to get lined up with us and our umbrella; and the current is strong. We tell them: \u201cGet on the sand, and walk back to us. That\u2019s the only way you are going to be able to make it back.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve actually started rhythms of getting \u201con the sand\u201d and not letting life, and the currents, sweep us away too much.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: Yes, for me, I had to recognize that there were times when I felt like I didn\u2019t want to put more on David.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: He had so much on him, and so I was being really careful and not sharing. He would ask me, \u201cHow are you?\u201d I was thinking, as you were talking, that, for me, I had to take a step of faith and trust in him and risk: \u201cYes, you know what? This might put one more thing on him for me to say, \u2018I\u2019m struggling, too,\u2019 but I know that he cares about me. He loves me, and he wants to know that.\u201d I had to be intentional just not to be too careful, and to take that step into intimacy of, \u201cYes, this is hard for me too.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>David: We started having a little mantra of, \u201cLet\u2019s be a little less careful,\u201d which is an interesting time; but it was good for us.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I just know, when hard times hit our home, it\u2019s very easy for the marriage\u2014you drift into isolation. That\u2019s what Meg just said: \u201cI don\u2019t want to take the roof off with God, because I don\u2019t know where He is, and I don\u2019t want to take the walls down.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, we close in, and your marriage can really suffer. The opposite is a gift. When you open up to your spouse and open up to God, God says, \u201cThat\u2019s why I put you together. You two are better together, and you two need each other.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve heard your story enough to know you had to get there. It wasn\u2019t easy! You got there. I\u2019m thinking there are couples listening right now [who] are still isolated, through the pandemic or whatever. I hope, as they are listening today, they say: \u201cToday is the day,\u201d or \u201cTonight is the night. We have to hit the pause button. We have to say, \u2018We need to talk\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think Meg would agree with this: when Dave has come to me in weakness, saying, \u201cI\u2019m at the end of myself. I can\u2019t even do this,\u201d I feel so much love, and I want to encourage him; versus when he shuts down. I don\u2019t know what to do with that. I think, as a spouse, when we can go to each other, and be vulnerable, and say, \u201cI need your help. I have nothing left. I am so fearful,\u201d that\u2019s Level 5 communication, we talk about at the Weekend to Remember getaways, where you are going deep. You are exposing the vulnerability of your soul. That is when we come together, and we become one.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It\u2019s a scary place to go.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You are full of fear, but I\u2019m just going to tell you: do it today. it will change everything.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Take that step and be intentional about purposeful vulnerability with your spouse. And, as Dave just said, \u2018It'll change everything in your marriage, for the good and for the glory of God.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I'm Shelby Abbott, and you've been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with David and Meg Robbins on FamilyLife Today. What a great conversation!<\/p>\n<p>As we've been talking about marriages today, have you ever wondered how strong your marriage could be? Maybe that's a question you haven't asked, or maybe it's something that you're kind of asking yourself right now, because I just mentioned it. Well, I would encourage you to join us at a Weekend to Remember marriage getaway and see the difference this weekend could make in your marriage. As one attendee shared, \u201cI realized marriage is a covenant, not just a contract.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, don't miss out on this opportunity right now, because you can save 50% off of registrations until September 16th. You can head over to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the Weekend to Remember marriage getaway banner; and when you do, you'll take the first step toward a stronger marriage. Again, you can head over to FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Now, coming up tomorrow, have you ever felt disillusioned and disappointed in your marriage? Well, Brad and Marilyn Rhoads are here tomorrow to talk about that. And my guess is, you're probably going to be able to relate in some form or fashion. That's tomorrow. We hope you'll join us.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs? Copyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/292963","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=292963"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280865"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=292963"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=292963"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=292963"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=292963"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=292963"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=292963"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}