{"id":291934,"date":"2024-08-27T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-08-27T08:56:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/when-lonely-moms-long-for-relationship-maggie-combs\/"},"modified":"2025-06-10T16:47:55","modified_gmt":"2025-06-10T20:47:55","slug":"when-lonely-moms-long-for-relationship-maggie-combs","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/when-lonely-moms-long-for-relationship-maggie-combs\/","title":{"rendered":"When Lonely Moms Long for Relationship: Maggie Combs"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If people need people, then moms need people (grown-up ones). Learn the importance of finding a support system &#038; be encouraged by fellow mom and author, Maggie Combs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If people need people, then moms need people (grown-up ones). Learn the importance of finding a support system &#038; be encouraged by fellow mom, Maggie Combs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280865,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/343ce84d-c759-4b20-8e4a-b1cb00e8a847\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:40","filesize":"25.37M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2024-08-27 08:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838],"tags":[2994],"podcast_series":[8789],"cwp_profile":[9757],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-291934","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","tag-people-need-people","podcast_series-what-to-do-about-motherhood-guilt-maggie-combs","cwp_profile-maggie-combs","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/291934\/when-lonely-moms-long-for-relationship-maggie-combs","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/291934\/when-lonely-moms-long-for-relationship-maggie-combs","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"1UizDEp5n2\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/when-lonely-moms-long-for-relationship-maggie-combs\/\">When Lonely Moms Long for Relationship: Maggie Combs<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/when-lonely-moms-long-for-relationship-maggie-combs\/embed\/#?secret=1UizDEp5n2\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;When Lonely Moms Long for Relationship: Maggie Combs&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"1UizDEp5n2\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["343ce84d-c759-4b20-8e4a-b1cb00e8a847"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/343ce84d-c759-4b20-8e4a-b1cb00e8a847\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:27:40"],"filesize":["25.37M"],"_thumbnail_id":["280865"],"show_notes":["<ul>\n<li>Help make YOUR mark: Your donation supports crucial resources for families and includes a special <a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/august-2024\/urgent-need\/?cru_source=D0002408SB&amp;cru_medium=StickyBar&amp;cru_premium=PRE21820&amp;cru_campaign=Aug2024&amp;src=fye_humanized_sticky&amp;_gl=1*1lj4vla*_gcl_au*MTY3OTQxMDA3LjE3MjQwOTA2MDk.*_ga*MTYwNjEyNzY4MC4xNzI0MDkwNjA5*_ga_85G8JM3S5D*MTcyNDE2MTIwNy4yLjEuMTcyNDE2MzAwMi4zMS4wLjkwNDQyMTE1&amp;_ga=2.14502003.570019349.1724090609-1606127680.1724090609\">FamilyLife Pen and Brant Hansen's book, \"Unoffendable\"<\/a>\u2014join us today!<\/li>\n<li>Connect with Maggie and catch more of her thoughts on Insta at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/maggie__combs\/?hl=en\">@maggie__combs<\/a> and over at <a href=\"https:\/\/wellwateredwomen.com\/author\/guestauthor\/page\/14\/\">wellwateredwomen.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>And grab her book, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.moodypublishers.com\/motherhood-without-all-the-rules\/\">Motherhood Without All the Rules<\/a>, on our shop!<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n"],"transcript_content":["<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>When Lonely Moms Long for Relationship<\/p>\n<p>Guest:Maggie Combs<\/p>\n<p>From the series:What to Do about Motherhood Guilt (Day 2 of 3)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:August 27, 2024<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Do you know what I want to do? I want to make a mark. I want to make a difference in lives and marriages with the gospel. Don\u2019t you feel that?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s one of the things I love about you. I knew that when we were dating. You were mission focused. So was I, and we still are. What a dream to be a part of FamilyLife, who wants to make a mark as well. We want to do that with you, our partners. So, here\u2019s the challenge: We have a financial goal of raising $250,000 in the month of August.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So, we really need you. You are making a mark. Will you help us leave a mark on our society, on our world, on our globe, for the gospel?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes. Jump in with us at any level you want. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and make a donation. I\u2019m telling you, you become our partners, we make a mark together, and guess what? Because you\u2019re making a mark, we\u2019re going to send you a limited-edition pen, because pens make marks. [Laughter] So, we\u2019re going to send that to you. We\u2019ll even send you Brant Hansen\u2019s book, Unoffendable. Let me tell you, it\u2019s a phenomenal book. You\u2019re going to love it.<\/p>\n<p>More importantly than any of that stuff is: join us. Let\u2019s be partners. Let\u2019s change the world. Let\u2019s make a mark.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Together.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And we can do it together with your gift of any financial size. We\u2019d love to do this together with you. Let\u2019s change the world.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So go to FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: When you\u2019re a mom, you can be so insulated, like, \u201cNobody else has it as hard as I do! [Laughter] This is the impossible task that I\u2019ve been given today: to do all of this laundry!\u201d You know? And it is really hard, but there are other really hard things, too; and there are other women who will come alongside of you, who might be in a simpler stage of life, and say, \u201cHey, how can I help you do that? Let\u2019s do that together.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So, you\u2019re a mother of three boys. You\u2019re a boy-mom.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, I am! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: We\u2019re a special breed.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, and we\u2019ve got a boy mom\u2014we\u2019ve got two boy moms\u2014in here.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You both have three sons. We actually have daughters-in-law now, and grandkids; but as you think about that, what was the best thing about being a mother of sons? What was the worst? What comes to your mind first?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: The hardest\u2014I wouldn\u2019t say the worst, but the hardest\u2014thing was when they were little. They are so active; they are constantly on the go. It felt physically exhausting. I feel like I have a lot of energy, but I felt like, \u201cI don\u2019t know if I can do this!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And the best was just kind of discovering how God made them: their physical-ness; their fun; their adventure hearts.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re excited because we have Maggie Combs back with us today. Maggie has written a book called Motherhood without All the Rules: Trading Stressful Standards for Gospel Truths.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You\u2019re a mom of three boys as well. I\u2019ll throw the same question to you: \u201cBest\/greatest thing about it, and what\u2019s the hardest thing?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: The hardest thing for me has just been the physical-ness of it. Like you said, they\u2019re so busy. I remember my husband, when he would stay late at work\u2014I had these three toddler boys\u2014it was like, \u201cThey can\u2019t go to bed unless someone has wrestled with them.\u201d [Laughter] I would get down on the floor, and I would go into the fetal position, and I would be like, \u201cOkay, you can wrestle me now!\u201d And they would just jump all over me.<\/p>\n<p>Thankfully, they\u2019re a little older now, so now, I just say, \u201cJust go wrestle with each other; okay? Try not to break a bone.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: For me, I can remember times they were so rambunctious\u2014they\u2019re never going to settle down\u2014we\u2019d say, \u201cOkay, outside!\u201d just to get some exhaustion, because they were never going to settle down.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Isn\u2019t it interesting the things that you do that you said, \u201cI will never do this.\u201d Did you have any of those?<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: I\u2019m not sure if I had any specific ones of those. My boys were born in a clump of baby girls, just so many baby girls. All my friends were having baby girls. We would have play dates; and it was like, \u201cOh, this is a totally different world.\u201d I remember my best friend coming up to me, and I don\u2019t remember what the item was she picked up off my floor.<\/p>\n<p>She said [whispering], \u201cI found this on your floor. You know, it\u2019s not safe,\u201d or whatever. I was like, \u201cOh, yes, of course. I\u2019m so glad you found that.\u201d I was thinking to myself, \u201cBut I was letting my kid play with that five minutes before you came here.\u201d I feel like boys kind of get a bad rap sometimes, though. I would say my favorite thing about raising boys is just seeing how tender they can be.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: We\u2019re always saying, \u201cOh, they\u2019re rough and tumble,\u201d which they are, but then that flip side, where they\u2019re just really sweet and tender with me, with each other, and just being really good at loving while still being a crazy boy.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Do you think it\u2019s a lot different for moms of daughters?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think it\u2019s just dependent on personality. What do you think, Maggie?<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Yes, and I think every mom has to learn to chill out a little bit\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: \u2014to some extent. You learn to go, \u201cOkay, I can say \u2018yes\u2019 to that, when everything inside me is screaming, \u2018No! Protect them! Be careful!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Well, Maggie, you\u2019ve written more than this book. Tell us about the other things that you\u2019ve done and what you\u2019re doing now.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Unsuper Mommy.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s a great title.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: My first book is Unsuper Mommy, and it was written in the throes of early motherhood. When I started it, I had a six-month-old, an eighteen-month-old, and a three-and-a-half-year-old.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What?! That is being a supermom!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Are you crazy?<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Well, no. [Laughter] Because it was like, \u201cWhat did I do really bad at today?\u201d [Laughter] It\u2019s just written from the overflow of what God was teaching me in the hardest season of my life. It is really raw, but it\u2019s just sharing with women how to release all of those plans that they did have for motherhood.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Suddenly, they\u2019re like, \u201cAlert, alert! Emergency! None of my plans are coming to fruition!\u201d To release those, and to embrace the life that God has put before them that day, and to know that they can only do that life by the power of God.<\/p>\n<p>The other thing that I get to do now, as a writer, is I am the content director at a ministry called Well-Watered Women. I get to write Bible studies, and I get to oversee social media, and share the gospel with women, across the board\u2014who are moms, who are single, who are married, who are divorced, who are widowed\u2014all women, not just moms. It\u2019s been a real gift to get to be a part of that ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, it\u2019s interesting: one of the sections of this book\u2014you know, Motherhood without All the Rules\u2014the chapter title was \u201cRelationship Over Rules.\u201d I initially thought, \u201cOh, I know where this is going,\u201d because we wrote a chapter in our No Perfect Parents book about: \u201cRules without relationship equals rebellion,\u201d so it was about your relationship with your kids, especially teenagers.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: That\u2019s one of my parents\u2019 favorite sayings.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, it is.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Is it?<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It\u2019s been around for a long time. It\u2019s highlighting a very important thing, especially with teenagers. If all they\u2019re getting from you is rules, and you\u2019re not cultivating a relationship, it could lead to rebellion. But that isn\u2019t what you were talking about. I found it very insightful that you\u2019re talking about relationship with God over just being a rule-based parent. Talk about that.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Yes; I think one of the things that I aim to do in my book is talk to the mom\u2019s heart, because we can give them all the parenting advice in the world, but if their heart isn\u2019t following God, it\u2019s not going to do them any good! It\u2019s just slapping on fruit on a tree that is dying.<\/p>\n<p>So, actually, I think that I tried to work that phrase into my book somewhere\u2014the \u201crules without relationship equals rebellion,\u201d because it works the same way in our relationship with God, right?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: If we just take all of the good rules, all of the good exhortations, that the Bible gives us, and we try to do them without being in relationship with God, we\u2019re going to end up pretty angry at God or throwing the whole thing out altogether. We see all this de-conversion stuff right now, right? Throwing it all out altogether and saying, \u201cHey, I don\u2019t want anything to do with this anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, that\u2019s what this book is trying to do: aim at that heart and say, \u201cInstead of trying to fix your actions, let\u2019s work on what\u2019s going on in our hearts as mom. Dig into that with God. Learn to be in prayer with Him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I think, so often, we\u2019re afraid to tell Him how upset we are about what is happening in our lives. And so, being able to actually go to Him and be honest [to say]: \u201cThis was really hard today. This is what I\u2019m struggling with\u2026\u201d\u2014not just like, \u201cHere\u2019s my laundry list of things I want You to do for me,\u201d but [to] talk to Him like we would talk to our best friend.<\/p>\n<p>I think I call my mom up like 15 times a day. [Laughter] I just tell her all the weird stuff that happens in motherhood. Sometimes, moms can feel like, \u201cMan, I just want someone to tell everything to,\u201d right? And we do have Someone to tell everything to. Moms often really struggle with loneliness; because we\u2019re just so deep in our kids\u2019 lives, we don\u2019t have time to make friendships.<\/p>\n<p>First of all, God does call us to build friendships and to make space for that. But in seasons like when my kids were really little, it was just basically impossible. It was like God can be that for me. He is my friend, not just my Savior.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I know that when our kids were little, I would call my sister. She had four boys, and I had three boys. As soon as something happened, I would call her and then we would just vent to one another, you know? We\u2019d just go to dark, deep places! And I realized one day as I was praying, I had this thought of God saying, \u201cCome to Me first.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Jesus said, \u201cCome to Me, all you who are weary.\u201d [Matthew 11:28] I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, that\u2019s me! I have my hand up!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, I thought, \u201cBefore I call my friend or my sister, I\u2019m going to go to God first and tell Him everything that\u2019s on my heart.\u201d And doesn\u2019t He want that? He wants us to go there with Him! It\u2019s so funny, because the more I did that, the more I felt like, \u201cOh, I want to go to Him first, because other people aren\u2019t solving my problems.\u201d I would get this peace, as Philippians says, \u201cthat surpasses all understanding,\u201d and it would \u201cguard my heart and my mind in Jesus.\u201d [Philippians 4:6-8]<\/p>\n<p>I remember driving not too long ago. I was praying, just talking to God about when I lost my mom. I remember saying to Jesus, \u201cYou\u2019re my best Friend.\u201d And that takes a while, to go to Him first, to learn that. That\u2019s what we want for our kids. We can model that, of letting them see us go before God and telling Him what\u2019s on our hearts and minds. I love that you\u2019re talking about that.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Yes; we all long for that. We are relational people because we are made in the image of a relational God. He is Trinitarian, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and, in Him, there\u2019s perfect relationship. Back in the garden, Adam and Eve got to be in a perfect relationship. They walked with God and then, that was broken by sin, but Jesus came to make a way for us to have perfect relationship with God again.<\/p>\n<p>We will fail sometimes in this world, but we are growing towards living more in relationship with Him. Prayer is such an essential part of that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I was thinking of this in terms of the relationship with God. You mentioned earlier that moms often feel lonely, so they need another mom or another friend as well. I remember\u2014and I don\u2019t know where I read it, years ago\u2014I think it was a Max Lucado book, 25-30 years ago. He tells this cute little story of a little boy running into mom and dad\u2019s room during a thunderstorm. He grabs his dad\u2019s leg. I think he\u2019s six. He says, \u201cI\u2019m scared,\u201d and Dad says, \u201cHey, you don\u2019t need to be scared. Jesus is here; Jesus has got it.\u201d He goes, \u201cYes, I know that; but right now, I need someone with skin on.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve never forgotten that. I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s so true for us as well. We don\u2019t need anybody else but Jesus.\u201d He\u2019s all we need; He\u2019s our sufficiency, yet He\u2019s made us in such a way we need humans.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m wondering, \u201cHow do moms dig out of that loneliness to have other moms in your life to help support you when you\u2019re going through [it]? Those are the shadow of the valley, you know? [Laughter] When you\u2019re raising little toddlers, especially boys\u2014or girls\u2014it's exhausting. You need another mom.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: How do you do that?<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: We\u2019ve been given friends; we\u2019ve been given the local church. So often, we want to go to Instagram for relationship; we want to go to social media for relationship. Those relationships are not enough; they cannot know our whole selves. But women who are in our lives, doing real life with us, can when we\u2019re willing to pull back the veneer and say, \u201cHey, I don\u2019t feel like a good mom today, because I did this...\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And moms tend to hide in our shame. When we feel shame, we pull away from others. I remember making myself make calls when I felt like, \u201cEvery other mom\u2019s better than I am, and if I tell them the way I\u2019m acting, or even what\u2019s in my heart\u201d\u2014like I\u2019m so angry or lonely sometimes\u2014\u201cI\u2019m afraid I\u2019ll be judged.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes, to be the first one to say it will open this door of other women saying, \u201cMe, too!\u201d And there\u2019s something really special and healing about having people open up about what they\u2019re facing, and then praying.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: There are two steps. There\u2019s one, being willing to be the first person to be vulnerable.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: But then, making sure that you are being vulnerable with the kind of friend who\u2019s going to give you the gospel.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Exactly!<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: The world is full of all kinds of things to put our hope in. We can put our hope in the next girls\u2019 night out, or the next vacation, or \u201cDon\u2019t worry! It\u2019s just a season.\u201d And that is a little hope; that is not enough to support all the hope that we need for motherhood.<\/p>\n<p>So, getting a friend who you know is going to say: \u201cI see that. I see how that was really hard, but you know what? I also see that Jesus is here with you, and He knows what it\u2019s like when your kids are just--they [do] not listen to anything you say.\u201d [Laughter] Who knows better than Jesus about that; right?! I mean, it\u2019s like, \u201cProne to wander.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, when your kids are refusing to listen to you, a friend who says, \u201cYou know what? I think God has experienced that, too; let\u2019s pray together.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, that friend who says, \u201cLet\u2019s pray.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: \u201cLet\u2019s remember.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: \u201cLet\u2019s remember together what God has said about this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, it\u2019s easy, as a guy, to think women never struggle with the loneliness, because you\u2019re so good at relationships. But you watch women relate to one another, and it\u2019s like, \u201cWow! They have real friendships.\u201d We men have to initiate and struggle with that.<\/p>\n<p>But you really do need other women. And if it\u2019s true, how do you do it as a mom who\u2019s overwhelmed with her schedule? How do you find time to spend some time with women?<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: I think there are a few ways. One of the best ways to spend time with other women is to join your church Bible study. Praise the Lord for church childcare! [Laughter] Am I right? I struggled with doing that as a young mom, because I thought, \u201cWell, I know the kids are going to have a hard day.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cIt\u2019s naptime.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: \u201cI know that the naptime will get messed up,\u201d and all this stuff. But you have to say, \u201cI actually know that, even more than I need an easy afternoon that day, I need to be opening God\u2019s Word with other women.\u201d I think the great thing about Bible study, especially if you can be involved in an intergenerational Bible study, is it opens your eyes to circumstances, [to] other women who are in different ages and stages of life and their circumstances.<\/p>\n<p>When you\u2019re a mom, it can be so insulated, like, \u201cNobody else has it as hard as I do! [Laughter] This is the impossible task that I have been given today: to do all of this laundry!\u201d You know? And it is really hard, but there are other really hard things, too, and there are other women who will come alongside of you, who might be in a simpler stage of life, and say, \u201cHey, how can I help you do that? Let\u2019s do that together.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I always say: have a woman in front of you, [who\u2019s] ahead of you in their life stage; have a woman beside you, who is right alongside, that you can say, \u201cOh, I know! That happened to me today.\u201d And then, I think it\u2019s really good to have someone behind you, who maybe just had the baby, or she just got married, because maybe you weren\u2019t perfect in that stage, but you\u2019ve learned so much.<\/p>\n<p>I talk to so many older women whose kids are gone, who feel like, \u201cI have nothing to offer. My kids are gone. I feel like the meaning of my life doesn\u2019t have as much significance.\u201d I\u2019m saying, \u201cOh, you are in the peak and prime of pouring into younger women.\u201d And when they say, \u201cBut I\u2019ve been divorced,\u201d or \u201cI have kids who have rebelled,\u201d I say, \u201cAnd haven\u2019t you learned a lot from that?\u201d Because Satan says to us, \u2018You\u2019re disqualified!\u2019 and God says, \u2018No, I will use all of your pain for someone else\u2019s gain if you\u2019ll let Me; let Me heal some of those things.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Yes, we need the whole body of Christ.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: And we are all unfinished.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: I just hear so [often], in the ministry that I work with, women saying, \u201cI want a mentor! How do I get a mentor?\u201d So, if you are an older woman who\u2019s thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t have anything to offer,\u201d there is a whole generation of women who are just recognizing the shallowness of getting mentored on the internet.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: And they\u2019re starting to say, \u201cI want someone to talk to about my real life.\u201d If you would just say, \u201cHey, would you want to meet every once in a while?\u201d That woman is going to say, \u201cYes! I would love that! How can we do that?!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, reading through your book, most of these stressful standards are lies. They are things that we hear, or you hear as a mom, from the culture and from the world. When you look at them, you think, \u201cThat\u2019s not true.\u201d But when you connect with other women, that\u2019s what they can do; they can speak. What you\u2019re doing in your book is, you\u2019re saying: \u201cThis is a lie. This is a myth. Here's the Truth\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Boy, if you\u2019re surrounding yourself\u2014same thing for guys, there\u2019s no difference; and for couples\u2014to say, \u201cI need people in my life that remind me of what\u2019s true.\u201d I\u2019m buying into a lie again, and I don\u2019t even realize it. I say it out loud, and they look at me and say, \u201cThat\u2019s not even true.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: That\u2019s all discipleship is.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Or if there\u2019s a hard question, like, \u201cLet\u2019s find it in the Bible together.\u201d You don\u2019t have to be able to come up with the chapter and verse off the top of your head. \u201cLet\u2019s look together!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And I think what we can do, as women, is\u2014I\u2019ve heard so many women say to me, \u201cI\u2019m sure you don\u2019t have time.\u201d I think they assume in their head: \u201cNobody would want to meet with me. If somebody heard how I\u2019m struggling, they would think I\u2019m disqualified.\u201d I would say, \u201cDo not listen to those lies, because if Satan has a plan for your life, it\u2019s that you remain isolated; [that] you live in shame. And God is saying, \u2018No, step out!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This year, I\u2019ve been going through my one-year Bible, and every time it says, \u201cAnd they cried out to the Lord,\u201d do you know what the next sentence is? \u201cAnd He heard their cry.\u201d I would just say to you women, to you moms: \u201cEvery single time you cry out, God hears you! So, pray for a mentor, pray for a friend, pray for your kids, because God hears you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And then, if you have that urge\u2014if somebody comes to your mind like, \u201cI would love to meet with her,\u201d why not call? If she doesn\u2019t work, then call someone else, but keep moving, and keep finding those people who can pour into you.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And here\u2019s a simple way to do that: pick up Maggie\u2019s book.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Call another mom or two, and say, \u201cHey, let\u2019s go through this together.\u201d Who knows where that would lead to? You\u2019re going to talk about mom stuff, and you may end up with a really good friend who helps you do this journey as a mom.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s good.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: I love that idea.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I bet you do! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: I went through a season where\u2014you know that early season of motherhood\u2014I came out, and that\u2019s exactly what I did. I just said, \u201cI\u2019m lonely.\u201d And I just prayed for a friend. You know what? God gave me three.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Oh!<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Three very clear answers to prayer. One was a woman I had never met, who had recently moved to Minnesota and has become one of my best friends. I saw her at Bible study, and I said, \u201cI like your Bible.\u201d [Laughter] It\u2019s kind of a Christian pickup line, I think. [Laughter] We started talking and just instantly became friends.<\/p>\n<p>And then one was a dear sister-in-law that I\u2019ve always been friends with, but we just grew closer again. And then, one was a friend across the internet. We started talking about writing, and we\u2019ve just been talking about writing ever since, and everything in life. God does answer that prayer. He wants us to be in fellowship with each other.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: I can really connect with that because there was a season in my life, as well, where I kind of looked around and felt like I didn\u2019t have any friends. My wife was concerned for me, and I just prayed and asked the Lord to provide. He did the same thing with me that He did with Maggie.<\/p>\n<p>He provided a friend in my church who is now one of my best friends, and He provided a friend that I had been around and had been casual friends with for a long time, and then all of a sudden, we grew closer in ways that I didn\u2019t expect before. All because I just asked God for it.<\/p>\n<p>There are so many moms out there that are struggling with loneliness and isolation. They feel like they don\u2019t have any friends. Are you one of those people? If so, ask God. Just take a moment to pray and ask God to provide you with a friend or two, and watch Him show up in ways that might surprise you.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Maggie Combs on FamilyLife Today. Maggie has written a book called Motherhood without All the Rules: Trading Stressful Standards for Gospel Truths. You can get your copy of Maggie\u2019s book by going online right now to FamilyLifeToday.com or clicking on the link in the show notes. Or feel free to give us a call on 800-358-6329 to request your copy. Again, that number is 800 -\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We are a missions organization that longs to reach marriages and families with the truth of the gospel, and we need your partnership in order to make that happen. All this month, our goal has been to raise $250,000 in new funding, with partners just like you, who want to be a part of the solution here at FamilyLife, link arms with us, and reach marriages and families.<\/p>\n<p>If you have been affected by this ministry at all as you\u2019ve listened to FamilyLife Today, or maybe gone to a Weekend to Remember\u00ae, or any interaction you\u2019ve had with us, we\u2019d love for you to partner with us. Jump in; donate financially; become a part of this mission in order to reach people with the gospel, specifically through marriages and families.<\/p>\n<p>You can do that by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com to make your donation. When you do, we\u2019re going to send you a thank you in the form of a limited-edition FamilyLife pen along with a copy of Brant Hansen\u2019s Unoffendable. Again, you can head online to FamilyLifeToday.com to make your donation or give us a call at 800\u2013\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Or feel free to drop us a donation in the mail if you\u2019d like. Our address is FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, Florida 32832.<\/p>\n<p>Now, tomorrow, Maggie Combs is back answering the question, \u201cHow do you get over the massive worry that comes with raising kids?\u201d I think all of us as parents have asked that question at some point in time. We\u2019re going to talk about that tomorrow with Maggie and the Wilsons. We hope you\u2019ll join us.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs? Copyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife.com<\/p>\n"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-08-27.pdf"],"_edit_lock":["1749588690:47000"],"_edit_last":["47000"],"theme_header_position":["Sticky"],"post_header_is_sticky":["default"],"is_header_overlay":["0"],"episode_type":["audio"],"date_recorded":["2024-08-27 08:00:00"],"enclosure":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/343ce84d-c759-4b20-8e4a-b1cb00e8a847\/audio.mp3"],"_seopress_redirections_type":["301"],"_seopress_redirections_logged_status":["both"],"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":[""],"_g_feedback_shortcode_f0c9f9b508b068b79ede4e8e31d23cffd5f04596":["\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Name\" type=\"name\"  required=\"true\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Email\" type=\"email\" required=\"true\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Website\" type=\"url\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Message\" type=\"textarea\" \/]"],"_g_feedback_shortcode_atts_f0c9f9b508b068b79ede4e8e31d23cffd5f04596":["a:17:{s:2:\"to\";s:29:\"margaret.coyle@familylife.com\";s:7:\"subject\";s:82:\"[FamilyLife - A Cru Ministry] When Lonely Moms Long for Relationship: Maggie Combs\";s:12:\"show_subject\";s:2:\"no\";s:6:\"widget\";i:0;s:14:\"block_template\";N;s:19:\"block_template_part\";N;s:2:\"id\";i:291934;s:18:\"submit_button_text\";s:6:\"Submit\";s:14:\"customThankyou\";s:0:\"\";s:21:\"customThankyouHeading\";s:26:\"Your message has been sent\";s:21:\"customThankyouMessage\";s:30:\"Thank you for your submission!\";s:22:\"customThankyouRedirect\";s:0:\"\";s:10:\"jetpackCRM\";b:1;s:9:\"className\";N;s:9:\"postToUrl\";N;s:14:\"salesforceData\";N;s:12:\"hiddenFields\";N;}"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-291934.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-291934.js"]},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg",1024,1024,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Margaret","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coylefamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"If people need people, then moms need people (grown-up ones). Learn the importance of finding a support system & be encouraged by fellow mom, Maggie Combs.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<ul>\n<li>Help make YOUR mark: Your donation supports crucial resources for families and includes a special <a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/august-2024\/urgent-need\/?cru_source=D0002408SB&amp;cru_medium=StickyBar&amp;cru_premium=PRE21820&amp;cru_campaign=Aug2024&amp;src=fye_humanized_sticky&amp;_gl=1*1lj4vla*_gcl_au*MTY3OTQxMDA3LjE3MjQwOTA2MDk.*_ga*MTYwNjEyNzY4MC4xNzI0MDkwNjA5*_ga_85G8JM3S5D*MTcyNDE2MTIwNy4yLjEuMTcyNDE2MzAwMi4zMS4wLjkwNDQyMTE1&amp;_ga=2.14502003.570019349.1724090609-1606127680.1724090609\">FamilyLife Pen and Brant Hansen's book, \"Unoffendable\"<\/a>\u2014join us today!<\/li>\n<li>Connect with Maggie and catch more of her thoughts on Insta at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/maggie__combs\/?hl=en\">@maggie__combs<\/a> and over at <a href=\"https:\/\/wellwateredwomen.com\/author\/guestauthor\/page\/14\/\">wellwateredwomen.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>And grab her book, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.moodypublishers.com\/motherhood-without-all-the-rules\/\">Motherhood Without All the Rules<\/a>, on our shop!<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-08-27.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>When Lonely Moms Long for Relationship<\/p>\n<p>Guest:Maggie Combs<\/p>\n<p>From the series:What to Do about Motherhood Guilt (Day 2 of 3)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:August 27, 2024<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Do you know what I want to do? I want to make a mark. I want to make a difference in lives and marriages with the gospel. Don\u2019t you feel that?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s one of the things I love about you. I knew that when we were dating. You were mission focused. So was I, and we still are. What a dream to be a part of FamilyLife, who wants to make a mark as well. We want to do that with you, our partners. So, here\u2019s the challenge: We have a financial goal of raising $250,000 in the month of August.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So, we really need you. You are making a mark. Will you help us leave a mark on our society, on our world, on our globe, for the gospel?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes. Jump in with us at any level you want. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and make a donation. I\u2019m telling you, you become our partners, we make a mark together, and guess what? Because you\u2019re making a mark, we\u2019re going to send you a limited-edition pen, because pens make marks. [Laughter] So, we\u2019re going to send that to you. We\u2019ll even send you Brant Hansen\u2019s book, Unoffendable. Let me tell you, it\u2019s a phenomenal book. You\u2019re going to love it.<\/p>\n<p>More importantly than any of that stuff is: join us. Let\u2019s be partners. Let\u2019s change the world. Let\u2019s make a mark.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Together.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And we can do it together with your gift of any financial size. We\u2019d love to do this together with you. Let\u2019s change the world.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So go to FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: When you\u2019re a mom, you can be so insulated, like, \u201cNobody else has it as hard as I do! [Laughter] This is the impossible task that I\u2019ve been given today: to do all of this laundry!\u201d You know? And it is really hard, but there are other really hard things, too; and there are other women who will come alongside of you, who might be in a simpler stage of life, and say, \u201cHey, how can I help you do that? Let\u2019s do that together.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So, you\u2019re a mother of three boys. You\u2019re a boy-mom.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, I am! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: We\u2019re a special breed.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, and we\u2019ve got a boy mom\u2014we\u2019ve got two boy moms\u2014in here.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You both have three sons. We actually have daughters-in-law now, and grandkids; but as you think about that, what was the best thing about being a mother of sons? What was the worst? What comes to your mind first?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: The hardest\u2014I wouldn\u2019t say the worst, but the hardest\u2014thing was when they were little. They are so active; they are constantly on the go. It felt physically exhausting. I feel like I have a lot of energy, but I felt like, \u201cI don\u2019t know if I can do this!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And the best was just kind of discovering how God made them: their physical-ness; their fun; their adventure hearts.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re excited because we have Maggie Combs back with us today. Maggie has written a book called Motherhood without All the Rules: Trading Stressful Standards for Gospel Truths.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You\u2019re a mom of three boys as well. I\u2019ll throw the same question to you: \u201cBest\/greatest thing about it, and what\u2019s the hardest thing?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: The hardest thing for me has just been the physical-ness of it. Like you said, they\u2019re so busy. I remember my husband, when he would stay late at work\u2014I had these three toddler boys\u2014it was like, \u201cThey can\u2019t go to bed unless someone has wrestled with them.\u201d [Laughter] I would get down on the floor, and I would go into the fetal position, and I would be like, \u201cOkay, you can wrestle me now!\u201d And they would just jump all over me.<\/p>\n<p>Thankfully, they\u2019re a little older now, so now, I just say, \u201cJust go wrestle with each other; okay? Try not to break a bone.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: For me, I can remember times they were so rambunctious\u2014they\u2019re never going to settle down\u2014we\u2019d say, \u201cOkay, outside!\u201d just to get some exhaustion, because they were never going to settle down.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Isn\u2019t it interesting the things that you do that you said, \u201cI will never do this.\u201d Did you have any of those?<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: I\u2019m not sure if I had any specific ones of those. My boys were born in a clump of baby girls, just so many baby girls. All my friends were having baby girls. We would have play dates; and it was like, \u201cOh, this is a totally different world.\u201d I remember my best friend coming up to me, and I don\u2019t remember what the item was she picked up off my floor.<\/p>\n<p>She said [whispering], \u201cI found this on your floor. You know, it\u2019s not safe,\u201d or whatever. I was like, \u201cOh, yes, of course. I\u2019m so glad you found that.\u201d I was thinking to myself, \u201cBut I was letting my kid play with that five minutes before you came here.\u201d I feel like boys kind of get a bad rap sometimes, though. I would say my favorite thing about raising boys is just seeing how tender they can be.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: We\u2019re always saying, \u201cOh, they\u2019re rough and tumble,\u201d which they are, but then that flip side, where they\u2019re just really sweet and tender with me, with each other, and just being really good at loving while still being a crazy boy.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Do you think it\u2019s a lot different for moms of daughters?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think it\u2019s just dependent on personality. What do you think, Maggie?<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Yes, and I think every mom has to learn to chill out a little bit\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: \u2014to some extent. You learn to go, \u201cOkay, I can say \u2018yes\u2019 to that, when everything inside me is screaming, \u2018No! Protect them! Be careful!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Well, Maggie, you\u2019ve written more than this book. Tell us about the other things that you\u2019ve done and what you\u2019re doing now.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Unsuper Mommy.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s a great title.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: My first book is Unsuper Mommy, and it was written in the throes of early motherhood. When I started it, I had a six-month-old, an eighteen-month-old, and a three-and-a-half-year-old.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What?! That is being a supermom!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Are you crazy?<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Well, no. [Laughter] Because it was like, \u201cWhat did I do really bad at today?\u201d [Laughter] It\u2019s just written from the overflow of what God was teaching me in the hardest season of my life. It is really raw, but it\u2019s just sharing with women how to release all of those plans that they did have for motherhood.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Suddenly, they\u2019re like, \u201cAlert, alert! Emergency! None of my plans are coming to fruition!\u201d To release those, and to embrace the life that God has put before them that day, and to know that they can only do that life by the power of God.<\/p>\n<p>The other thing that I get to do now, as a writer, is I am the content director at a ministry called Well-Watered Women. I get to write Bible studies, and I get to oversee social media, and share the gospel with women, across the board\u2014who are moms, who are single, who are married, who are divorced, who are widowed\u2014all women, not just moms. It\u2019s been a real gift to get to be a part of that ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, it\u2019s interesting: one of the sections of this book\u2014you know, Motherhood without All the Rules\u2014the chapter title was \u201cRelationship Over Rules.\u201d I initially thought, \u201cOh, I know where this is going,\u201d because we wrote a chapter in our No Perfect Parents book about: \u201cRules without relationship equals rebellion,\u201d so it was about your relationship with your kids, especially teenagers.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: That\u2019s one of my parents\u2019 favorite sayings.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, it is.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Is it?<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It\u2019s been around for a long time. It\u2019s highlighting a very important thing, especially with teenagers. If all they\u2019re getting from you is rules, and you\u2019re not cultivating a relationship, it could lead to rebellion. But that isn\u2019t what you were talking about. I found it very insightful that you\u2019re talking about relationship with God over just being a rule-based parent. Talk about that.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Yes; I think one of the things that I aim to do in my book is talk to the mom\u2019s heart, because we can give them all the parenting advice in the world, but if their heart isn\u2019t following God, it\u2019s not going to do them any good! It\u2019s just slapping on fruit on a tree that is dying.<\/p>\n<p>So, actually, I think that I tried to work that phrase into my book somewhere\u2014the \u201crules without relationship equals rebellion,\u201d because it works the same way in our relationship with God, right?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: If we just take all of the good rules, all of the good exhortations, that the Bible gives us, and we try to do them without being in relationship with God, we\u2019re going to end up pretty angry at God or throwing the whole thing out altogether. We see all this de-conversion stuff right now, right? Throwing it all out altogether and saying, \u201cHey, I don\u2019t want anything to do with this anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, that\u2019s what this book is trying to do: aim at that heart and say, \u201cInstead of trying to fix your actions, let\u2019s work on what\u2019s going on in our hearts as mom. Dig into that with God. Learn to be in prayer with Him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I think, so often, we\u2019re afraid to tell Him how upset we are about what is happening in our lives. And so, being able to actually go to Him and be honest [to say]: \u201cThis was really hard today. This is what I\u2019m struggling with\u2026\u201d\u2014not just like, \u201cHere\u2019s my laundry list of things I want You to do for me,\u201d but [to] talk to Him like we would talk to our best friend.<\/p>\n<p>I think I call my mom up like 15 times a day. [Laughter] I just tell her all the weird stuff that happens in motherhood. Sometimes, moms can feel like, \u201cMan, I just want someone to tell everything to,\u201d right? And we do have Someone to tell everything to. Moms often really struggle with loneliness; because we\u2019re just so deep in our kids\u2019 lives, we don\u2019t have time to make friendships.<\/p>\n<p>First of all, God does call us to build friendships and to make space for that. But in seasons like when my kids were really little, it was just basically impossible. It was like God can be that for me. He is my friend, not just my Savior.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I know that when our kids were little, I would call my sister. She had four boys, and I had three boys. As soon as something happened, I would call her and then we would just vent to one another, you know? We\u2019d just go to dark, deep places! And I realized one day as I was praying, I had this thought of God saying, \u201cCome to Me first.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Jesus said, \u201cCome to Me, all you who are weary.\u201d [Matthew 11:28] I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, that\u2019s me! I have my hand up!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, I thought, \u201cBefore I call my friend or my sister, I\u2019m going to go to God first and tell Him everything that\u2019s on my heart.\u201d And doesn\u2019t He want that? He wants us to go there with Him! It\u2019s so funny, because the more I did that, the more I felt like, \u201cOh, I want to go to Him first, because other people aren\u2019t solving my problems.\u201d I would get this peace, as Philippians says, \u201cthat surpasses all understanding,\u201d and it would \u201cguard my heart and my mind in Jesus.\u201d [Philippians 4:6-8]<\/p>\n<p>I remember driving not too long ago. I was praying, just talking to God about when I lost my mom. I remember saying to Jesus, \u201cYou\u2019re my best Friend.\u201d And that takes a while, to go to Him first, to learn that. That\u2019s what we want for our kids. We can model that, of letting them see us go before God and telling Him what\u2019s on our hearts and minds. I love that you\u2019re talking about that.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Yes; we all long for that. We are relational people because we are made in the image of a relational God. He is Trinitarian, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and, in Him, there\u2019s perfect relationship. Back in the garden, Adam and Eve got to be in a perfect relationship. They walked with God and then, that was broken by sin, but Jesus came to make a way for us to have perfect relationship with God again.<\/p>\n<p>We will fail sometimes in this world, but we are growing towards living more in relationship with Him. Prayer is such an essential part of that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I was thinking of this in terms of the relationship with God. You mentioned earlier that moms often feel lonely, so they need another mom or another friend as well. I remember\u2014and I don\u2019t know where I read it, years ago\u2014I think it was a Max Lucado book, 25-30 years ago. He tells this cute little story of a little boy running into mom and dad\u2019s room during a thunderstorm. He grabs his dad\u2019s leg. I think he\u2019s six. He says, \u201cI\u2019m scared,\u201d and Dad says, \u201cHey, you don\u2019t need to be scared. Jesus is here; Jesus has got it.\u201d He goes, \u201cYes, I know that; but right now, I need someone with skin on.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve never forgotten that. I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s so true for us as well. We don\u2019t need anybody else but Jesus.\u201d He\u2019s all we need; He\u2019s our sufficiency, yet He\u2019s made us in such a way we need humans.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m wondering, \u201cHow do moms dig out of that loneliness to have other moms in your life to help support you when you\u2019re going through [it]? Those are the shadow of the valley, you know? [Laughter] When you\u2019re raising little toddlers, especially boys\u2014or girls\u2014it's exhausting. You need another mom.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: How do you do that?<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: We\u2019ve been given friends; we\u2019ve been given the local church. So often, we want to go to Instagram for relationship; we want to go to social media for relationship. Those relationships are not enough; they cannot know our whole selves. But women who are in our lives, doing real life with us, can when we\u2019re willing to pull back the veneer and say, \u201cHey, I don\u2019t feel like a good mom today, because I did this...\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And moms tend to hide in our shame. When we feel shame, we pull away from others. I remember making myself make calls when I felt like, \u201cEvery other mom\u2019s better than I am, and if I tell them the way I\u2019m acting, or even what\u2019s in my heart\u201d\u2014like I\u2019m so angry or lonely sometimes\u2014\u201cI\u2019m afraid I\u2019ll be judged.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes, to be the first one to say it will open this door of other women saying, \u201cMe, too!\u201d And there\u2019s something really special and healing about having people open up about what they\u2019re facing, and then praying.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: There are two steps. There\u2019s one, being willing to be the first person to be vulnerable.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: But then, making sure that you are being vulnerable with the kind of friend who\u2019s going to give you the gospel.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Exactly!<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: The world is full of all kinds of things to put our hope in. We can put our hope in the next girls\u2019 night out, or the next vacation, or \u201cDon\u2019t worry! It\u2019s just a season.\u201d And that is a little hope; that is not enough to support all the hope that we need for motherhood.<\/p>\n<p>So, getting a friend who you know is going to say: \u201cI see that. I see how that was really hard, but you know what? I also see that Jesus is here with you, and He knows what it\u2019s like when your kids are just--they [do] not listen to anything you say.\u201d [Laughter] Who knows better than Jesus about that; right?! I mean, it\u2019s like, \u201cProne to wander.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, when your kids are refusing to listen to you, a friend who says, \u201cYou know what? I think God has experienced that, too; let\u2019s pray together.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, that friend who says, \u201cLet\u2019s pray.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: \u201cLet\u2019s remember.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: \u201cLet\u2019s remember together what God has said about this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, it\u2019s easy, as a guy, to think women never struggle with the loneliness, because you\u2019re so good at relationships. But you watch women relate to one another, and it\u2019s like, \u201cWow! They have real friendships.\u201d We men have to initiate and struggle with that.<\/p>\n<p>But you really do need other women. And if it\u2019s true, how do you do it as a mom who\u2019s overwhelmed with her schedule? How do you find time to spend some time with women?<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: I think there are a few ways. One of the best ways to spend time with other women is to join your church Bible study. Praise the Lord for church childcare! [Laughter] Am I right? I struggled with doing that as a young mom, because I thought, \u201cWell, I know the kids are going to have a hard day.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cIt\u2019s naptime.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: \u201cI know that the naptime will get messed up,\u201d and all this stuff. But you have to say, \u201cI actually know that, even more than I need an easy afternoon that day, I need to be opening God\u2019s Word with other women.\u201d I think the great thing about Bible study, especially if you can be involved in an intergenerational Bible study, is it opens your eyes to circumstances, [to] other women who are in different ages and stages of life and their circumstances.<\/p>\n<p>When you\u2019re a mom, it can be so insulated, like, \u201cNobody else has it as hard as I do! [Laughter] This is the impossible task that I have been given today: to do all of this laundry!\u201d You know? And it is really hard, but there are other really hard things, too, and there are other women who will come alongside of you, who might be in a simpler stage of life, and say, \u201cHey, how can I help you do that? Let\u2019s do that together.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I always say: have a woman in front of you, [who\u2019s] ahead of you in their life stage; have a woman beside you, who is right alongside, that you can say, \u201cOh, I know! That happened to me today.\u201d And then, I think it\u2019s really good to have someone behind you, who maybe just had the baby, or she just got married, because maybe you weren\u2019t perfect in that stage, but you\u2019ve learned so much.<\/p>\n<p>I talk to so many older women whose kids are gone, who feel like, \u201cI have nothing to offer. My kids are gone. I feel like the meaning of my life doesn\u2019t have as much significance.\u201d I\u2019m saying, \u201cOh, you are in the peak and prime of pouring into younger women.\u201d And when they say, \u201cBut I\u2019ve been divorced,\u201d or \u201cI have kids who have rebelled,\u201d I say, \u201cAnd haven\u2019t you learned a lot from that?\u201d Because Satan says to us, \u2018You\u2019re disqualified!\u2019 and God says, \u2018No, I will use all of your pain for someone else\u2019s gain if you\u2019ll let Me; let Me heal some of those things.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Yes, we need the whole body of Christ.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: And we are all unfinished.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: I just hear so [often], in the ministry that I work with, women saying, \u201cI want a mentor! How do I get a mentor?\u201d So, if you are an older woman who\u2019s thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t have anything to offer,\u201d there is a whole generation of women who are just recognizing the shallowness of getting mentored on the internet.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: And they\u2019re starting to say, \u201cI want someone to talk to about my real life.\u201d If you would just say, \u201cHey, would you want to meet every once in a while?\u201d That woman is going to say, \u201cYes! I would love that! How can we do that?!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, reading through your book, most of these stressful standards are lies. They are things that we hear, or you hear as a mom, from the culture and from the world. When you look at them, you think, \u201cThat\u2019s not true.\u201d But when you connect with other women, that\u2019s what they can do; they can speak. What you\u2019re doing in your book is, you\u2019re saying: \u201cThis is a lie. This is a myth. Here's the Truth\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Boy, if you\u2019re surrounding yourself\u2014same thing for guys, there\u2019s no difference; and for couples\u2014to say, \u201cI need people in my life that remind me of what\u2019s true.\u201d I\u2019m buying into a lie again, and I don\u2019t even realize it. I say it out loud, and they look at me and say, \u201cThat\u2019s not even true.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: That\u2019s all discipleship is.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Or if there\u2019s a hard question, like, \u201cLet\u2019s find it in the Bible together.\u201d You don\u2019t have to be able to come up with the chapter and verse off the top of your head. \u201cLet\u2019s look together!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And I think what we can do, as women, is\u2014I\u2019ve heard so many women say to me, \u201cI\u2019m sure you don\u2019t have time.\u201d I think they assume in their head: \u201cNobody would want to meet with me. If somebody heard how I\u2019m struggling, they would think I\u2019m disqualified.\u201d I would say, \u201cDo not listen to those lies, because if Satan has a plan for your life, it\u2019s that you remain isolated; [that] you live in shame. And God is saying, \u2018No, step out!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This year, I\u2019ve been going through my one-year Bible, and every time it says, \u201cAnd they cried out to the Lord,\u201d do you know what the next sentence is? \u201cAnd He heard their cry.\u201d I would just say to you women, to you moms: \u201cEvery single time you cry out, God hears you! So, pray for a mentor, pray for a friend, pray for your kids, because God hears you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And then, if you have that urge\u2014if somebody comes to your mind like, \u201cI would love to meet with her,\u201d why not call? If she doesn\u2019t work, then call someone else, but keep moving, and keep finding those people who can pour into you.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And here\u2019s a simple way to do that: pick up Maggie\u2019s book.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Call another mom or two, and say, \u201cHey, let\u2019s go through this together.\u201d Who knows where that would lead to? You\u2019re going to talk about mom stuff, and you may end up with a really good friend who helps you do this journey as a mom.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s good.<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: I love that idea.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I bet you do! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: I went through a season where\u2014you know that early season of motherhood\u2014I came out, and that\u2019s exactly what I did. I just said, \u201cI\u2019m lonely.\u201d And I just prayed for a friend. You know what? God gave me three.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Oh!<\/p>\n<p>Maggie: Three very clear answers to prayer. One was a woman I had never met, who had recently moved to Minnesota and has become one of my best friends. I saw her at Bible study, and I said, \u201cI like your Bible.\u201d [Laughter] It\u2019s kind of a Christian pickup line, I think. [Laughter] We started talking and just instantly became friends.<\/p>\n<p>And then one was a dear sister-in-law that I\u2019ve always been friends with, but we just grew closer again. And then, one was a friend across the internet. We started talking about writing, and we\u2019ve just been talking about writing ever since, and everything in life. God does answer that prayer. He wants us to be in fellowship with each other.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: I can really connect with that because there was a season in my life, as well, where I kind of looked around and felt like I didn\u2019t have any friends. My wife was concerned for me, and I just prayed and asked the Lord to provide. He did the same thing with me that He did with Maggie.<\/p>\n<p>He provided a friend in my church who is now one of my best friends, and He provided a friend that I had been around and had been casual friends with for a long time, and then all of a sudden, we grew closer in ways that I didn\u2019t expect before. All because I just asked God for it.<\/p>\n<p>There are so many moms out there that are struggling with loneliness and isolation. They feel like they don\u2019t have any friends. Are you one of those people? If so, ask God. Just take a moment to pray and ask God to provide you with a friend or two, and watch Him show up in ways that might surprise you.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Maggie Combs on FamilyLife Today. Maggie has written a book called Motherhood without All the Rules: Trading Stressful Standards for Gospel Truths. You can get your copy of Maggie\u2019s book by going online right now to FamilyLifeToday.com or clicking on the link in the show notes. Or feel free to give us a call on 800-358-6329 to request your copy. Again, that number is 800 -\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We are a missions organization that longs to reach marriages and families with the truth of the gospel, and we need your partnership in order to make that happen. All this month, our goal has been to raise $250,000 in new funding, with partners just like you, who want to be a part of the solution here at FamilyLife, link arms with us, and reach marriages and families.<\/p>\n<p>If you have been affected by this ministry at all as you\u2019ve listened to FamilyLife Today, or maybe gone to a Weekend to Remember\u00ae, or any interaction you\u2019ve had with us, we\u2019d love for you to partner with us. Jump in; donate financially; become a part of this mission in order to reach people with the gospel, specifically through marriages and families.<\/p>\n<p>You can do that by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com to make your donation. When you do, we\u2019re going to send you a thank you in the form of a limited-edition FamilyLife pen along with a copy of Brant Hansen\u2019s Unoffendable. Again, you can head online to FamilyLifeToday.com to make your donation or give us a call at 800\u2013\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Or feel free to drop us a donation in the mail if you\u2019d like. Our address is FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, Florida 32832.<\/p>\n<p>Now, tomorrow, Maggie Combs is back answering the question, \u201cHow do you get over the massive worry that comes with raising kids?\u201d I think all of us as parents have asked that question at some point in time. We\u2019re going to talk about that tomorrow with Maggie and the Wilsons. We hope you\u2019ll join us.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs? Copyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife.com<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/291934","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=291934"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280865"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=291934"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=291934"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=291934"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=291934"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=291934"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=291934"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}