{"id":286621,"date":"2024-08-15T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-08-15T08:38:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/never-retire-from-spiritual-growth-dennis-barbara-rainey\/"},"modified":"2025-06-10T16:53:44","modified_gmt":"2025-06-10T20:53:44","slug":"never-retire-from-spiritual-growth-dennis-barbara-rainey","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/never-retire-from-spiritual-growth-dennis-barbara-rainey\/","title":{"rendered":"Never Retire from Spiritual Growth: Dennis &#038; Barbara Rainey"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You never retire from spiritual growth, according to Dennis &#038; Barbara Rainey. Learn tips on avoiding pitfalls of aging and on lifelong service to others.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You never retire from spiritual growth, according to Dennis &#038; Barbara Rainey. Learn tips on avoiding pitfalls of aging and on lifelong service to others.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280865,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/3fe5db14-7366-499a-95cd-b1c90152d000\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:57","filesize":"24.72M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2024-08-15 08:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2913,2866],"tags":[2706],"podcast_series":[8786],"cwp_profile":[3052,3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-286621","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-empty-nest-and-midlife","category-spiritual-disciplines-essentials-faith","tag-spiritual-growth","podcast_series-growing-older-without-growing-old-dennis-barbara-rainey","cwp_profile-barbara-rainey","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/286621\/never-retire-from-spiritual-growth-dennis-barbara-rainey","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/286621\/never-retire-from-spiritual-growth-dennis-barbara-rainey","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"KIXzny3Efi\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/never-retire-from-spiritual-growth-dennis-barbara-rainey\/\">Never Retire from Spiritual Growth: Dennis &#038; Barbara Rainey<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/never-retire-from-spiritual-growth-dennis-barbara-rainey\/embed\/#?secret=KIXzny3Efi\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Never Retire from Spiritual Growth: Dennis &#038; Barbara Rainey&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"KIXzny3Efi\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["3fe5db14-7366-499a-95cd-b1c90152d000"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/3fe5db14-7366-499a-95cd-b1c90152d000\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:26:57"],"filesize":["24.72M"],"_thumbnail_id":["280865"],"show_notes":["<ul>\n<li>Help make YOUR mark: Your donation supports crucial resources for families and includes a special FamilyLife Pen and <a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/august-2024\/urgent-need\/?cru_source=FLTD24&amp;cru_medium=Icare&amp;cru_campaign=August2024&amp;_gl=1*i7nrhi*_gcl_aw*R0NMLjE3MTcwMTQ3ODQuQ2owS0NRandwTnV5QmhDdUFSSXNBTkpxTDlOZnNmVlp5TUhEOU55WG14QjFTbVhFb3FLTUFlM3dsRGZlLUUtaTh5U2NjN0hfSnNVQnNZc2FBbVhnRUFMd193Y0I.*_gcl_au*MTk2MDk5NjM3Mi4xNzE4NjM0NDIz*_ga*OTI3MTAyODQ4LjE2OTUxMjkzOTk.*_ga_85G8JM3S5D*MTcyMzQwNzQ5MC42MzkuMS4xNzIzNDA5NDc2LjQ2LjAuMTI4NjI3MTUzNg..&amp;_ga=2.4838195.1899240771.1723407491-927102848.1695129399\">Brant Hansen's book, \"Unoffendable\"\u2014join us today!<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Connect with Dennis and Barbara Rainey at their <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theraineys.org\/post\/do-you-need-hope-have-you-been-disappointed-with-god\">website<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>If you enjoyed this episode, check out previous podcast\u00a0episodes featuring the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/guest\/dennis-and-barbara-rainey\/\">Raineys<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Don't miss out on the \"<a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/weekend-to-remember\/\">Weekend to Remember<\/a>\" events happening nationwide!<\/li>\n<li>Find the new Homebuilders series, newly redesigned as <a href=\"http:\/\/www.artofmarriage.com\/\">FamilyLife's Art of Marriage<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n"],"transcript_content":["<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Never Retire from Spiritual Growth<\/p>\n<p>Guests:Dennis and Barbara Rainey<\/p>\n<p>From the series:Growing Older without Growing Old (Day 2 of 3)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:August 15, 2024<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Dave and I had the chance to speak at a marriage conference this past spring. This woman came up, in her early 30s. As soon as I saw her, she hugged me and started crying. I said, \u201cHey, what\u2019s your name? What\u2019s your story?\u201d She said, \u201cI\u2019ve gone through the hardest year because I lost my mom a few years ago.\u201d She said, \u201cI felt like the mentor in my life is gone. I go to a good church. This is going to sound crazy to you, but you and Dave are my mentors now through listening to FamilyLife Today.\u201d She said, \u201cI feel like I\u2019m being discipled. I feel like the gospel has a whole new meaning of how it can apply to my marriage and my parenting.\u201d I just hugged her; because I thought, \u201cThis is amazing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I remember seeing you guys over there, talking and hugging; I thought, \u201cWhat\u2019s that all about?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>What that\u2019s all about happens all over the world\u2014not just through FamilyLife Today broadcasts\u2014but our resources, and FamilyLife\u00ae weekend conferences; we have guides in neighborhoods, who are impacting their world through our small group resources. All that to say: FamilyLife is making a mark on the world. And you are making a mark on the world. We\u2019re inviting you to join us\u2014we have a financial goal right now, in the month of August, to raise $250,000\u2014because we can\u2019t make a mark without you.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It doesn\u2019t happen without listeners donating, and saying: \u201cI want to be a part of this; I want to make a mark,\u201d and \u201cI want to be a part of a ministry that\u2019s making a mark.\u201d We\u2019re inviting you, right here, right now, to join us in raising $250,000 by making a donation at FamilyLifeToday.com; you can donate right there and become a partner. Let\u2019s change the world together.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And if you give, we\u2019re going to send you a special pen created just for FamilyLife.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It\u2019s a limited-edition FamilyLife\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It is!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014pen, with a book by Brant Hansen called Unoffendable. If you haven\u2019t read it, you need to read it. It\u2019s a great book, and use the pen to take some great notes.<\/p>\n<p>We love you guys; thanks for being our partners.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: I\u2019m all about passing on the reality of Jesus Christ, generationally, within our family and beyond that to other families. I think it\u2019s a natural place for discipleship, for evangelism, and for reaching other people; because people are looking for hope today. I think that\u2019s why we\u2019re here.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is FamilyLife\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014Today.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We\u2019ve got Dennis and Barbara Rainey back in the studio today.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It\u2019s such a good day when they\u2019re here!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It\u2019s awesome! They created this show; we\u2019re just running behind them. Here\u2019s what I remember, just looking across at you guys\u2014and by the way, founder\/president of FamilyLife\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u201440 years.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201440 years!<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u201440-plus?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Well, it wasn\u2019t a ministry initially; I was the National Director of the Marriage Preparation and Family\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u2014Emphasis.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014Emphasis.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s right!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Emphasis.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014Emphasis. They wouldn\u2019t even let us become a ministry until we grew up. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u2014which we needed to do.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: We did.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, I wondered\/this just came to my mind: do you remember\u2014you don\u2019t know the year, but it was 1989\u2014we\u2019re joining the speaker team. That\u2019s the year, whoever, came up with the idea the new speakers have to do a\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u2014have to do a skit.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014a skit.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: They have to introduce themselves. We almost got fired on our opening skit. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: You did.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We did this little rap; and again, we don\u2019t need to get into it.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Well, you had on black leather jackets.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Not at first.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, we started with flannel\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Oh, you did?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014and jeans; because\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: I just remember black leather.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014farmers; we\u2019re farmers.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: The rap was: \u201cWe grew up in Ohio,\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u2014farmers; okay, I missed that. I don\u2019t remember that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014sort of country folk\u2014and then, we rip off our shirts.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s probably what you remember. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: It may be.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I have a little tank top on and one glove, because we\u2019re going to rap; I\u2019m going to be Michael Jackson. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: I was thinking there was black leather somewhere; yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, yes!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, so we start this little rap. I\u2019ll never forget\u2014Crawford and Dennis are in the front row, and their jaws were like [Laughter]\u2014and I\u2019m thinking, \u201cWe\u2019re getting fired, right now. We\u2019re not even, technically, on the team yet; and we\u2019re getting fired!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Never came close to that. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: No, but we loved it! It was so creative and entertaining. Anyway, I loved it.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It was life-changing for us; that\u2019s why we\u2019re here.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And we felt incredibly honored to be on the speaker team with the Weekend to Remember\u00ae, to get to know you guys a little bit better.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, you became mentors.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Well, here\u2019s what I marvel at: I think about the first conference you came to, in 19\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u20141980.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We\u2019re engaged. You were our preparation for marriage, two weeks before our wedding day.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Oh, it was that soon.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Oh, wow!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So we struggled horribly. Six months in, we were headed downward. We barely took a note at the Weekend to Remember marriage getaway.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014because we thought, \u201cWe don\u2019t need it.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Because you were two weeks away from your wedding, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cWe love Jesus; we love each other. We\u2019re going into ministry.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cWe love Jesus! We\u2019re not going to struggle.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cWho cares I came from two alcoholic parents and a divorced family. We\u2019re going to be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And then, we struggled. We\u2019re on staff with Athletes in Action\u00ae. They sent us to the University of Nebraska. The first football player I met said, \u201cHey! So you\u2019re here to do ministry with the athletes.\u201d \u201cYes.\u201d \u201cWell, I don\u2019t think you know this; but a lot of us are married. Could you and Ann lead a marriage Bible study for us?\u201d I\u2019m thinking, \u201cYou\u2019ve got the wrong couple! [Laughter] Because we don\u2019t even like each other.\u201d But, of course, I looked at him, and I said, \u201cSure; we\u2019d love to.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u201cSure!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And guess what we did?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: You led it.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Weekend to Remember manual.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: You pulled the\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We pulled out the manual.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014and we taught it.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: And did that make sense\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And it saved our marriage.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u2014to you then, when you were teaching it?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It saved us!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We were like, \u201cThis is the most amazing gospel-centered material. It\u2019s a biblical game plan of how to make a marriage work,\u201d\u2014which is what the Weekend to Remember conference is.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u2014which is true; it is.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And it saved our marriage. We don\u2019t even know if it helped anybody else, but it helped us. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: God is all about second chances and redemption. Less than ten years later, you\u2019re standing up in front of people, at the Weekend to Remember\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014teaching it.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014teaching it!\u2014and still are!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Isn\u2019t that God?! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014still are.<\/p>\n<p>And there\u2019s also another lesson\u2014we\u2019ve said it many times\u2014\u201cYou want to save your marriage? Give it away.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Because you already think it\u2019s\u2014you turn inward\u2014and that\u2019s good; you need to focus on each other\u2014but when you serve others\/Jesus said it this way [Matthew 10:39 paraphrase]: \u201cYou want to find your life? Lose it. Lose it in service of Me; you\u2019re going to find your life.\u201d I, literally, don\u2019t know if [another] marriage was saved; ours was, because we gave it away.<\/p>\n<p>Here we are! [Laughter] It\u2019s a perfect transition because we\u2019re going from early days\u2014when I had hair and we were running fast; and now, no hair and can\u2019t run [Laughter]\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Aww! You do pretty well.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Understood.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014I run and pull hamstrings now, because I\u2019m playing seniors softball; that\u2019s a whole other thing.<\/p>\n<p>But anyway, let\u2019s talk about how to finish well. Yesterday, we started a conversation with you that you\u2019ve done a lot of thinking on. I\u2019m hoping it becomes a book; I\u2019m hoping this is something we can read and share with the world, through literature, in the next couple of years about growing older, not becoming old.<\/p>\n<p>Remind our listeners where we started yesterday; because we\u2019re going to talk about: \u201cHow do we do that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Well, we started yesterday with the first principle that we\u2019ve figured out, which is called: \u201cGrowing older, not old\u201d and \u201cBecoming a life-long disciple.\u201d The antidote to becoming old\u2014an old person\u2014is growing; and staying alive and staying active; and engaging with people; and doing what we\u2019ve always done in life, which is to get to know people and reach out\u2014and just as you said a minute ago\u2014giving your life away. I think the way to not become old is to stay active, be intentional.<\/p>\n<p>As we looked at the verse out of John 21 [verse 22] yesterday, too, Jesus said to Peter, \u201c\u2026follow Me.\u201d His challenge to all of us, who belong to Him, is to be a follower, all the way to the very end. Don\u2019t stop following; keep following all the way to the end.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Keep learning. A verse we don\u2019t hear much about these days\u2014that we heard a lot about as college students\u2014was Jesus\u2019 promise. He said, \u201cI have come that they might have life and that they might have it abundantly.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: What are we talking about as we are growing older?\u2014life!\u2014how we\u2019re doing life.<\/p>\n<p>If you don\u2019t start out, when you\u2019re younger, that becomes more difficult to get on that playing field when you\u2019re 50, 60, 70\u2014when you need to be growing older on purpose and making an impact\u2014giving your life away, like you talked about.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It\u2019s interesting; my sister was the first person in our family to give her life to Jesus. She shared the gospel with me; I was second. no one else in our family was following our new Christ. So all of us [eventually] became believers but my dad. He\u2019s the one who said to me, \u201cHey, don\u2019t get any ideas. Your sister, I know, she\u2019s into this Jesus thing; but you\u2019re strong, like me; you don\u2019t need that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So to watch the end of his life, being 92\u2014very successful: built several businesses, lived on a golf course with a big house that he built\u2014at the end of his life, he\u2019s in assisted living with a little one bedroom. My mom had just passed; they had been married over 70 years. I walk into his room of his assisted living place; all the workers are in his room. I\u2019m like, \u201cHey! What\u2019s up?!\u201d This young woman, who\u2019s probably in her 20s, says, \u201cOh, this is where we love to hang out.\u201d I said, \u201cWhat?!\u201d She says, \u201cOh, yes; we all have our lunch breaks here.\u201d I said, \u201cReally?\u201d She says, \u201cOh, we love your dad. He asks us questions; he asks us advice; but the best thing he does is he always tells us something great about ourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Wow!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I was blown away. Weren\u2019t you, Dave, to watch him?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, he just really went from a selfish self-centered person to serving his wife, as she went through dementia; and then, giving his life away to others. It was pretty cool.<\/p>\n<p>One of the most beautiful things about it is\u2014when Ann and I were dating, just a few months before that conference, where we met you at the Weekend to Remember\u2014we got on our knees in her living room, at her parents\u2019 house, and said, \u201cGod, as we get married, we\u2019re asking You to use us to lead this whole family to Jesus.\u201d No one was a believer yet except her sister; and He did! We knew\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: That\u2019s cool.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014and we learned it at the Weekend to Remember\u2014\u201cMarriage isn\u2019t about you; it\u2019s never going to be about you. It\u2019s not about your happiness,\u201d\u2014hopefully, you\u2019re happy\u2014\"but it\u2019s about mission. You\u2019re on mission!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: My dad was an avid learner until the day he died.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: There you go.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And he loved people. I watched him\u2014everything has been torn from him\u2014he couldn\u2019t even walk; he\u2019s in a wheel chair! And yet, everyone flocked to his room; because he was so interested in them. It reminds me of Jesus!<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: What a great example.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So keep learning. Give us another one.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Second thing that I think we need to be doing is: \u201cWe need to be growing in our purpose: \u2018Why has God got you here?\u2019\u201d I think the person who is growing older knows who he is, or who she is\u2014as God\u2019s [child]\u2014and he also knows what he is called by God, and commissioned by God, to do. I want to give a very, very strange illustration at this point.<\/p>\n<p>Henri Nouwen wanted to go to a monastery to see how priests lived and to gain\u2014I think to learn and to grow\u2014as a result of it. He tells the story in a book that contains his journaling, as he was growing older. One of the stories he told was a guy by the name of Philippe Petit, a Frenchman, who was caught at 7:40 in the morning in New York City, in [1974], walking between the Twin Towers\u2014World Trade Center 1\u2014when it was still there\u2014and World Trade Center 2.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: What was so dramatic: that some guy started tightrope walking with no net, no nothing.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: He didn\u2019t have a net?!<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: No!<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: No; he walked across, nothing underneath him.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, he was arrested when he got to the other side by the police. The police asked him, \u201cPhilippe, why did you do that?\u201d Here\u2019s what he said: \u201cWhen I see three oranges, I have to grab them and juggle them; I was made to juggle those balls. When I see two towers, I have to string a rope between them and walk it.\u201d He had done this all over the world, other major cities; this was not the only one.<\/p>\n<p>Here's what Henri Nouwen asked at the end of this story: \u201cWhat are your three oranges and two towers?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Ooh, that\u2019s a good one.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Isn\u2019t that a good question?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Because all of us, according to Ephesians, Chapter 2, verse 10, \u201cWe are created in Christ Jesus for good works, which He has laid out for us to walk in them.\u201d He\u2019s actually made us a work of art\/a divine work of art, with all these capacities and desires. It really is a good question.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: What are yours?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Well, I\u2019ve had some time to think about it. I\u2019m all about passing on the reality of Jesus Christ, generationally, within our family and beyond that to other families. Because I think the family is in trouble. And I think it\u2019s a natural place for discipleship, for evangelism, and for reaching other people; because people are looking for hope today. I think that\u2019s why we\u2019re here.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Barbara, let me ask you: some people may hear that, and think, \u201cNobody wants to listen to me anymore. I\u2019m old; they don\u2019t even care.\u201d What would you say to them?<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Well, first of all, I don\u2019t think that\u2019s true; because as the story you told about your dad illustrates, there are plenty of people who want somebody to care about them. There are so many lonely people in this world.<\/p>\n<p>One of my favorite role models, and this is somebody I never met\u2014actually, it\u2019s two women I never met\u2014but my friend, Susan Yates, has told me the story about her mother and her mother-in-law, who both, in their 90s, were leading Bible studies with college girls. The contrast of someone in their 90s and college girls just doesn\u2019t seem to match.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right; right.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: But these college girls, just like the nurses in your dad\u2019s room, wanted to hear someone who was interested in them. These two older women, in their 90s, cared about these college girls and taught them the Bible. And they [students] came every week to their apartment, or wherever it was that they both lived. They would sit in the living room and listen to these older women teach them the Bible.<\/p>\n<p>I think that\u2019s an opportunity that is available to anybody, who\u2019s a believer in Christ: \u201cNo matter where you are, no matter where you live\u2014and it may not be a group; it may be one person; it may be somebody in your neighborhood or somebody in your family or somebody nearby; I don\u2019t know\u2014but God has someone for you to give your life to.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I\u2019m seeing this more and more of this whole generation: this longing to be re-parented.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Oh, no question.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Oh, we are.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Are you seeing it, too?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis and Barbara: Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: They\u2019re dying for somebody older. I say to people: \u201cIf you\u2019ve been married several times, you\u2019re not disqualified,\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: No; absolutely not.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014 \u201cIf you\u2019ve been divorced, you have learned a lot; and you\u2019ve gone through a lot. There are people who are longing to learn under you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I\u2019m not going to put words in your mouth; but I know one of your thoughts on how to keep growing older and not becoming old is: \u201cPut younger people around you\u201d; right?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Yes; oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I think one of the best things\u2014we didn\u2019t even realize\u2014for 33 years, being the Detroit Lions chaplain, we\u2019re around 20-year-olds! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201425-year-olds, 28-year-olds.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It kept us young!<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Well, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: They keep you vibrant.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Oh, yes they do.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: They challenge you, and they want what you have. I remember saying to a player, years ago, when I was getting older. I was probably in my 40s. I said to Luther, \u201cHey, I think I\u2019m done.\u201d He says, \u201cWhat?!\u201d I said, \u201cI used to be the age of the players, and I could relate to them. Now, I\u2019m as old as their parents. I think I\u2019m done.\u201d He says, \u201cDude, are you crazy?! These are the best years.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWhy do you say that?\u201d He says, \u201cNow, you\u2019re our mentor.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Exactly.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cWe don\u2019t want a peer; we don\u2019t want a peer.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dennis, you said to me, when I turned 60\u2014you probably said this to a lot of 60-year-olds; but you said it to me, and I never forgot it\u2014you said, \u201cBest decade of your life.\u201d I said, \u201cWhatever, dude! This is not going to\u2026\u201d [Laughter] \u201cThis can be the best\u2026\u201d\u2014you inspired me to run into my 60s, like, \u201cThis is not [where] you\u2019re finishing slow; you are now at a place where God can really, really use you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: You may be slower\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Sure.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014to finish the race. [Laughter] But I\u2019m thinking of a man, who was instrumental in my early formative years of walking with Christ. His name was H.D. McCarty. He was the pastor at University Baptist Church in Fayetteville, Arkansas. He had one fourth of the student body, on an annual basis, come to that church\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Wow.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014now, not every day\/not every Sunday\u2014but H.D. was relevant and was preaching it.<\/p>\n<p>I watched him growing older. I had lunch with him the other day; he would not let me come and pick him up, and he\u2019s 91 years old. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s a little scary.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: He drove.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Yes; well, let\u2019s not get into that\u2014okay?\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Yes, we tried really hard.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014because we\u2019re all headed there. Anyway, he wouldn\u2019t let me pick him up.<\/p>\n<p>We walked into this hamburger joint in Fayetteville. And he was back in the kitchen\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What?! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014challenging these young men\u2014it was two brothers who put this barbeque burger place together\u2014and he was challenging them: \u201cAre you doing what\u2019s right?\u201d \u201cAre you living for Christ?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Really.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And he doesn\u2019t even care what they think of him anymore. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: He doesn\u2019t!<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: No, but the weight that that carries\u2014for someone, who\u2019s that age, who\u2019s willing to walk into the kitchen, and ask you, \u201cAre you living for Christ?\u201d\u2014you\u2019re going to go, \u201cOh, I need to pay attention to this guy.\u201d There\u2019s something about\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: There\u2019s a weightiness.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u2014that authority that comes with age: \u201cIf he really cares about me to ask me, I really need to pay attention to this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We love being around H.D.; both of us do. Because I went to the church as much as he [Dennis] did\u2014he was employed\u2014but I went every Sunday, too, and learned so much from him. When we get a call from him on the phone, we\u2019re both are\u2014he\u2019s on the phone and I\u2019m listening\u2014because I want to hear every word he has to say! [Laughter] It\u2019s a treasure; it\u2019s a treasure.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Because nobody wants to be around old grumpy\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: They don\u2019t! He is alive.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: But when H.D. calls\u2014he\u2019s 91\u2014I want to hear every word he has to say. There\u2019s a big difference in older and becoming old.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: He\u2019s still fiery for Christ.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Oh, he is!<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Yes; oh, absolutely.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: In fact, what we\u2019re talking about\u2014is how he\u2019s finishing and what he\u2019s thinking about\u2014proclaiming Christ. He\u2019s finishing a book. [Laughter] He has had this book going for 30 years\u2014he\u2019s 91; keep in mind\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: He\u2019s been working on this book his whole life.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014but he\u2019s got these people around him now who are helping him get that book\u2014it\u2019s a 1,000 pages long\u2014it\u2019s going to need an editor. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, it is.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: But when you get together with H.D.\u2014something you said, Dave, just reminded me of it\u2014H.D.\u2019s had a couple of strokes. He talks haltingly, but he does get it out. But what he\u2019s talking about has so much substance, and life, and Jesus Christ\u2014and it\u2019s always about that\u2014it was always about that on Sunday morning when he preached. He was the most Christ-centered preacher\/teacher that I\u2019ve ever heard\/ever known. He just wanted to talk about who Jesus is\u2014what Jesus has done for us\u2014and confront people with Him so they come to faith in Him. He said, \u201cAll of eternity is based on that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: The thing that H.D. is doing\u2014now, he\u2019s 91; he can\u2019t get around very well\u2014but he calls people. He has this list of people who were very important to him through the years\u2014he calls these people; he\u2019s calling two or three people every week\u2014and he keeps calling.<\/p>\n<p>You may not have the ability to lead a Bible study somewhere; but you can have a cell phone, and you can pick up a phone and call people and encourage them on the phone. Because every time he calls us, it\u2019s like, \u201cOh, H.D.\u2019s on the phone. What does he have to say?\u201d We want to hear every word he has to say. That\u2019s a very practical thing that anybody can do, because people are longing to be encouraged and to be thought of\u2014just to have your phone ring and have somebody say, \u201cI was thinking about you; how are you doing?\u201d\u2014that means the world.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes; when I hear you talk about H.D.\u2014and I don\u2019t know him\u2014but I can feel your excitement about his excitement.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s what I think: \u201cIf there\u2019s a word that describes a lot of older people, who are living old\u2014not growing older\u2014but living old, what\u2019s the word that comes to your mind? Because I had a word come to my mind.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Withdrawal.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes; pull away.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Yes; death.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, it\u2019s like they\u2019re done.<\/p>\n<p>I had a word come to me: cynical.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Mine was self-centered: it\u2019s about their pain, and their situation, and what they\u2019ve lost.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You hear that\u2014and you\u2019re like, \u201cNo! I do not want to be that person,\u201d\u2014but I think you are saying, \u201cYou will become that person unless you grow older.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: That\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cIt\u2019s got to be a growing process.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Because H.D. could stop calling, because he has a hard time with language now. But it has not stopped him from making phone calls.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: He thinks at the speed of light, okay? [Laughter]\u2014but translating it through his tongue into words\u2014all that\u2014and I just listen to him; I say, \u201cGreat to be with you, H.D.\u201d And I\u2019ll call him after I get back from this trip, and we\u2019ll chat for a little bit.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the thing: H.D. could have been a victim. He grew up in Highland Park, Texas\/in North Dallas. He once told me the only thing he ever heard his dad promise him was a lie. He said, \u201cOne Saturday morning, I was sitting, eating cereal. My dad came down, and walked out the screen door, and said, \u2018See you later, son.\u2019 And the next minutes that followed, there was a scurry of people around his house\/H.D.\u2019s house as a boy. He went outside to see what was going on. He walked out into the garage and found his dad, having shot himself.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Ahhh!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Wow.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: He could be a victim,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014but he\u2019s not! You know why? Because the One who said, \u201cI have come that you might have life and have it abundantly,\u201d spoke that into H.D.\u2019s life; and he\u2019s been living it ever since.<\/p>\n<p>Hang out with those kind of people\u2014whew!\u2014you\u2019re going to be changed; they\u2019re going to rock your world. We all need to make sure we\u2019re listening to the right voices today.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: I\u2019m Shelby Abbott; and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson, with Dennis and Barbara Rainey, on FamilyLife Today. The ministry of FamilyLife has really made it\u2019s mark in so many different marriages and families. I\u2019d love it if you would make your mark alongside of us. One of the things that we\u2019re trying to do this month is raise $250,000 in new funds by the end of August. We\u2019d love it if you would partner with us\/link arms with us\u2014the ministry of FamilyLife\u2014to help reach marriages and families all over the country and all over the world.<\/p>\n<p>When you do\u2014and you partner with us\u2014with any donation that you make, we\u2019re going to send you a FamilyLife pen along with a copy of Brant Hansen\u2019s Unoffendable. It\u2019s just a small way of us saying, \u201cThank you for partnering with us, supporting this ministry, and being part of the solution when it comes to reaching marriages and families for the glory of Jesus Christ.\u201d Again, you can head over to FamilyLifeToday.com to make your donation. Or give us a call at 800-358-6329; again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now, tomorrow, Dennis and Barbara Rainey are back as they explore topics like heaven and discuss the eternal significance of living with purpose in your later years. That\u2019s tomorrow; we hope you\u2019ll join us. On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. 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never retire from spiritual growth, according to Dennis & Barbara Rainey. Learn tips on avoiding pitfalls of aging and on lifelong service to others.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<ul>\n<li>Help make YOUR mark: Your donation supports crucial resources for families and includes a special FamilyLife Pen and <a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/august-2024\/urgent-need\/?cru_source=FLTD24&amp;cru_medium=Icare&amp;cru_campaign=August2024&amp;_gl=1*i7nrhi*_gcl_aw*R0NMLjE3MTcwMTQ3ODQuQ2owS0NRandwTnV5QmhDdUFSSXNBTkpxTDlOZnNmVlp5TUhEOU55WG14QjFTbVhFb3FLTUFlM3dsRGZlLUUtaTh5U2NjN0hfSnNVQnNZc2FBbVhnRUFMd193Y0I.*_gcl_au*MTk2MDk5NjM3Mi4xNzE4NjM0NDIz*_ga*OTI3MTAyODQ4LjE2OTUxMjkzOTk.*_ga_85G8JM3S5D*MTcyMzQwNzQ5MC42MzkuMS4xNzIzNDA5NDc2LjQ2LjAuMTI4NjI3MTUzNg..&amp;_ga=2.4838195.1899240771.1723407491-927102848.1695129399\">Brant Hansen's book, \"Unoffendable\"\u2014join us today!<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Connect with Dennis and Barbara Rainey at their <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theraineys.org\/post\/do-you-need-hope-have-you-been-disappointed-with-god\">website<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>If you enjoyed this episode, check out previous podcast\u00a0episodes featuring the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/guest\/dennis-and-barbara-rainey\/\">Raineys<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Don't miss out on the \"<a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/weekend-to-remember\/\">Weekend to Remember<\/a>\" events happening nationwide!<\/li>\n<li>Find the new Homebuilders series, newly redesigned as <a href=\"http:\/\/www.artofmarriage.com\/\">FamilyLife's Art of Marriage<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-08-15.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Never Retire from Spiritual Growth<\/p>\n<p>Guests:Dennis and Barbara Rainey<\/p>\n<p>From the series:Growing Older without Growing Old (Day 2 of 3)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:August 15, 2024<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Dave and I had the chance to speak at a marriage conference this past spring. This woman came up, in her early 30s. As soon as I saw her, she hugged me and started crying. I said, \u201cHey, what\u2019s your name? What\u2019s your story?\u201d She said, \u201cI\u2019ve gone through the hardest year because I lost my mom a few years ago.\u201d She said, \u201cI felt like the mentor in my life is gone. I go to a good church. This is going to sound crazy to you, but you and Dave are my mentors now through listening to FamilyLife Today.\u201d She said, \u201cI feel like I\u2019m being discipled. I feel like the gospel has a whole new meaning of how it can apply to my marriage and my parenting.\u201d I just hugged her; because I thought, \u201cThis is amazing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I remember seeing you guys over there, talking and hugging; I thought, \u201cWhat\u2019s that all about?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>What that\u2019s all about happens all over the world\u2014not just through FamilyLife Today broadcasts\u2014but our resources, and FamilyLife\u00ae weekend conferences; we have guides in neighborhoods, who are impacting their world through our small group resources. All that to say: FamilyLife is making a mark on the world. And you are making a mark on the world. We\u2019re inviting you to join us\u2014we have a financial goal right now, in the month of August, to raise $250,000\u2014because we can\u2019t make a mark without you.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It doesn\u2019t happen without listeners donating, and saying: \u201cI want to be a part of this; I want to make a mark,\u201d and \u201cI want to be a part of a ministry that\u2019s making a mark.\u201d We\u2019re inviting you, right here, right now, to join us in raising $250,000 by making a donation at FamilyLifeToday.com; you can donate right there and become a partner. Let\u2019s change the world together.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And if you give, we\u2019re going to send you a special pen created just for FamilyLife.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It\u2019s a limited-edition FamilyLife\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It is!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014pen, with a book by Brant Hansen called Unoffendable. If you haven\u2019t read it, you need to read it. It\u2019s a great book, and use the pen to take some great notes.<\/p>\n<p>We love you guys; thanks for being our partners.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: I\u2019m all about passing on the reality of Jesus Christ, generationally, within our family and beyond that to other families. I think it\u2019s a natural place for discipleship, for evangelism, and for reaching other people; because people are looking for hope today. I think that\u2019s why we\u2019re here.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is FamilyLife\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014Today.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We\u2019ve got Dennis and Barbara Rainey back in the studio today.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It\u2019s such a good day when they\u2019re here!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It\u2019s awesome! They created this show; we\u2019re just running behind them. Here\u2019s what I remember, just looking across at you guys\u2014and by the way, founder\/president of FamilyLife\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u201440 years.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201440 years!<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u201440-plus?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Well, it wasn\u2019t a ministry initially; I was the National Director of the Marriage Preparation and Family\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u2014Emphasis.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014Emphasis.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s right!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Emphasis.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014Emphasis. They wouldn\u2019t even let us become a ministry until we grew up. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u2014which we needed to do.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: We did.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, I wondered\/this just came to my mind: do you remember\u2014you don\u2019t know the year, but it was 1989\u2014we\u2019re joining the speaker team. That\u2019s the year, whoever, came up with the idea the new speakers have to do a\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u2014have to do a skit.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014a skit.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: They have to introduce themselves. We almost got fired on our opening skit. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: You did.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We did this little rap; and again, we don\u2019t need to get into it.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Well, you had on black leather jackets.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Not at first.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, we started with flannel\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Oh, you did?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014and jeans; because\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: I just remember black leather.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014farmers; we\u2019re farmers.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: The rap was: \u201cWe grew up in Ohio,\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u2014farmers; okay, I missed that. I don\u2019t remember that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014sort of country folk\u2014and then, we rip off our shirts.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s probably what you remember. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: It may be.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I have a little tank top on and one glove, because we\u2019re going to rap; I\u2019m going to be Michael Jackson. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: I was thinking there was black leather somewhere; yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, yes!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, so we start this little rap. I\u2019ll never forget\u2014Crawford and Dennis are in the front row, and their jaws were like [Laughter]\u2014and I\u2019m thinking, \u201cWe\u2019re getting fired, right now. We\u2019re not even, technically, on the team yet; and we\u2019re getting fired!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Never came close to that. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: No, but we loved it! It was so creative and entertaining. Anyway, I loved it.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It was life-changing for us; that\u2019s why we\u2019re here.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And we felt incredibly honored to be on the speaker team with the Weekend to Remember\u00ae, to get to know you guys a little bit better.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, you became mentors.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Well, here\u2019s what I marvel at: I think about the first conference you came to, in 19\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u20141980.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We\u2019re engaged. You were our preparation for marriage, two weeks before our wedding day.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Oh, it was that soon.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Oh, wow!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So we struggled horribly. Six months in, we were headed downward. We barely took a note at the Weekend to Remember marriage getaway.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014because we thought, \u201cWe don\u2019t need it.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Because you were two weeks away from your wedding, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cWe love Jesus; we love each other. We\u2019re going into ministry.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cWe love Jesus! We\u2019re not going to struggle.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cWho cares I came from two alcoholic parents and a divorced family. We\u2019re going to be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And then, we struggled. We\u2019re on staff with Athletes in Action\u00ae. They sent us to the University of Nebraska. The first football player I met said, \u201cHey! So you\u2019re here to do ministry with the athletes.\u201d \u201cYes.\u201d \u201cWell, I don\u2019t think you know this; but a lot of us are married. Could you and Ann lead a marriage Bible study for us?\u201d I\u2019m thinking, \u201cYou\u2019ve got the wrong couple! [Laughter] Because we don\u2019t even like each other.\u201d But, of course, I looked at him, and I said, \u201cSure; we\u2019d love to.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u201cSure!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And guess what we did?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: You led it.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Weekend to Remember manual.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: You pulled the\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We pulled out the manual.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014and we taught it.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: And did that make sense\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And it saved our marriage.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u2014to you then, when you were teaching it?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It saved us!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We were like, \u201cThis is the most amazing gospel-centered material. It\u2019s a biblical game plan of how to make a marriage work,\u201d\u2014which is what the Weekend to Remember conference is.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u2014which is true; it is.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And it saved our marriage. We don\u2019t even know if it helped anybody else, but it helped us. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: God is all about second chances and redemption. Less than ten years later, you\u2019re standing up in front of people, at the Weekend to Remember\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014teaching it.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014teaching it!\u2014and still are!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Isn\u2019t that God?! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014still are.<\/p>\n<p>And there\u2019s also another lesson\u2014we\u2019ve said it many times\u2014\u201cYou want to save your marriage? Give it away.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Because you already think it\u2019s\u2014you turn inward\u2014and that\u2019s good; you need to focus on each other\u2014but when you serve others\/Jesus said it this way [Matthew 10:39 paraphrase]: \u201cYou want to find your life? Lose it. Lose it in service of Me; you\u2019re going to find your life.\u201d I, literally, don\u2019t know if [another] marriage was saved; ours was, because we gave it away.<\/p>\n<p>Here we are! [Laughter] It\u2019s a perfect transition because we\u2019re going from early days\u2014when I had hair and we were running fast; and now, no hair and can\u2019t run [Laughter]\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Aww! You do pretty well.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Understood.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014I run and pull hamstrings now, because I\u2019m playing seniors softball; that\u2019s a whole other thing.<\/p>\n<p>But anyway, let\u2019s talk about how to finish well. Yesterday, we started a conversation with you that you\u2019ve done a lot of thinking on. I\u2019m hoping it becomes a book; I\u2019m hoping this is something we can read and share with the world, through literature, in the next couple of years about growing older, not becoming old.<\/p>\n<p>Remind our listeners where we started yesterday; because we\u2019re going to talk about: \u201cHow do we do that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Well, we started yesterday with the first principle that we\u2019ve figured out, which is called: \u201cGrowing older, not old\u201d and \u201cBecoming a life-long disciple.\u201d The antidote to becoming old\u2014an old person\u2014is growing; and staying alive and staying active; and engaging with people; and doing what we\u2019ve always done in life, which is to get to know people and reach out\u2014and just as you said a minute ago\u2014giving your life away. I think the way to not become old is to stay active, be intentional.<\/p>\n<p>As we looked at the verse out of John 21 [verse 22] yesterday, too, Jesus said to Peter, \u201c\u2026follow Me.\u201d His challenge to all of us, who belong to Him, is to be a follower, all the way to the very end. Don\u2019t stop following; keep following all the way to the end.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Keep learning. A verse we don\u2019t hear much about these days\u2014that we heard a lot about as college students\u2014was Jesus\u2019 promise. He said, \u201cI have come that they might have life and that they might have it abundantly.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: What are we talking about as we are growing older?\u2014life!\u2014how we\u2019re doing life.<\/p>\n<p>If you don\u2019t start out, when you\u2019re younger, that becomes more difficult to get on that playing field when you\u2019re 50, 60, 70\u2014when you need to be growing older on purpose and making an impact\u2014giving your life away, like you talked about.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It\u2019s interesting; my sister was the first person in our family to give her life to Jesus. She shared the gospel with me; I was second. no one else in our family was following our new Christ. So all of us [eventually] became believers but my dad. He\u2019s the one who said to me, \u201cHey, don\u2019t get any ideas. Your sister, I know, she\u2019s into this Jesus thing; but you\u2019re strong, like me; you don\u2019t need that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So to watch the end of his life, being 92\u2014very successful: built several businesses, lived on a golf course with a big house that he built\u2014at the end of his life, he\u2019s in assisted living with a little one bedroom. My mom had just passed; they had been married over 70 years. I walk into his room of his assisted living place; all the workers are in his room. I\u2019m like, \u201cHey! What\u2019s up?!\u201d This young woman, who\u2019s probably in her 20s, says, \u201cOh, this is where we love to hang out.\u201d I said, \u201cWhat?!\u201d She says, \u201cOh, yes; we all have our lunch breaks here.\u201d I said, \u201cReally?\u201d She says, \u201cOh, we love your dad. He asks us questions; he asks us advice; but the best thing he does is he always tells us something great about ourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Wow!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I was blown away. Weren\u2019t you, Dave, to watch him?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, he just really went from a selfish self-centered person to serving his wife, as she went through dementia; and then, giving his life away to others. It was pretty cool.<\/p>\n<p>One of the most beautiful things about it is\u2014when Ann and I were dating, just a few months before that conference, where we met you at the Weekend to Remember\u2014we got on our knees in her living room, at her parents\u2019 house, and said, \u201cGod, as we get married, we\u2019re asking You to use us to lead this whole family to Jesus.\u201d No one was a believer yet except her sister; and He did! We knew\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: That\u2019s cool.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014and we learned it at the Weekend to Remember\u2014\u201cMarriage isn\u2019t about you; it\u2019s never going to be about you. It\u2019s not about your happiness,\u201d\u2014hopefully, you\u2019re happy\u2014\"but it\u2019s about mission. You\u2019re on mission!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: My dad was an avid learner until the day he died.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: There you go.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And he loved people. I watched him\u2014everything has been torn from him\u2014he couldn\u2019t even walk; he\u2019s in a wheel chair! And yet, everyone flocked to his room; because he was so interested in them. It reminds me of Jesus!<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: What a great example.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So keep learning. Give us another one.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Second thing that I think we need to be doing is: \u201cWe need to be growing in our purpose: \u2018Why has God got you here?\u2019\u201d I think the person who is growing older knows who he is, or who she is\u2014as God\u2019s [child]\u2014and he also knows what he is called by God, and commissioned by God, to do. I want to give a very, very strange illustration at this point.<\/p>\n<p>Henri Nouwen wanted to go to a monastery to see how priests lived and to gain\u2014I think to learn and to grow\u2014as a result of it. He tells the story in a book that contains his journaling, as he was growing older. One of the stories he told was a guy by the name of Philippe Petit, a Frenchman, who was caught at 7:40 in the morning in New York City, in [1974], walking between the Twin Towers\u2014World Trade Center 1\u2014when it was still there\u2014and World Trade Center 2.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: What was so dramatic: that some guy started tightrope walking with no net, no nothing.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: He didn\u2019t have a net?!<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: No!<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: No; he walked across, nothing underneath him.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, he was arrested when he got to the other side by the police. The police asked him, \u201cPhilippe, why did you do that?\u201d Here\u2019s what he said: \u201cWhen I see three oranges, I have to grab them and juggle them; I was made to juggle those balls. When I see two towers, I have to string a rope between them and walk it.\u201d He had done this all over the world, other major cities; this was not the only one.<\/p>\n<p>Here's what Henri Nouwen asked at the end of this story: \u201cWhat are your three oranges and two towers?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Ooh, that\u2019s a good one.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Isn\u2019t that a good question?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Because all of us, according to Ephesians, Chapter 2, verse 10, \u201cWe are created in Christ Jesus for good works, which He has laid out for us to walk in them.\u201d He\u2019s actually made us a work of art\/a divine work of art, with all these capacities and desires. It really is a good question.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: What are yours?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Well, I\u2019ve had some time to think about it. I\u2019m all about passing on the reality of Jesus Christ, generationally, within our family and beyond that to other families. Because I think the family is in trouble. And I think it\u2019s a natural place for discipleship, for evangelism, and for reaching other people; because people are looking for hope today. I think that\u2019s why we\u2019re here.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Barbara, let me ask you: some people may hear that, and think, \u201cNobody wants to listen to me anymore. I\u2019m old; they don\u2019t even care.\u201d What would you say to them?<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Well, first of all, I don\u2019t think that\u2019s true; because as the story you told about your dad illustrates, there are plenty of people who want somebody to care about them. There are so many lonely people in this world.<\/p>\n<p>One of my favorite role models, and this is somebody I never met\u2014actually, it\u2019s two women I never met\u2014but my friend, Susan Yates, has told me the story about her mother and her mother-in-law, who both, in their 90s, were leading Bible studies with college girls. The contrast of someone in their 90s and college girls just doesn\u2019t seem to match.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right; right.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: But these college girls, just like the nurses in your dad\u2019s room, wanted to hear someone who was interested in them. These two older women, in their 90s, cared about these college girls and taught them the Bible. And they [students] came every week to their apartment, or wherever it was that they both lived. They would sit in the living room and listen to these older women teach them the Bible.<\/p>\n<p>I think that\u2019s an opportunity that is available to anybody, who\u2019s a believer in Christ: \u201cNo matter where you are, no matter where you live\u2014and it may not be a group; it may be one person; it may be somebody in your neighborhood or somebody in your family or somebody nearby; I don\u2019t know\u2014but God has someone for you to give your life to.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I\u2019m seeing this more and more of this whole generation: this longing to be re-parented.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Oh, no question.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Oh, we are.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Are you seeing it, too?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis and Barbara: Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: They\u2019re dying for somebody older. I say to people: \u201cIf you\u2019ve been married several times, you\u2019re not disqualified,\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: No; absolutely not.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014 \u201cIf you\u2019ve been divorced, you have learned a lot; and you\u2019ve gone through a lot. There are people who are longing to learn under you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I\u2019m not going to put words in your mouth; but I know one of your thoughts on how to keep growing older and not becoming old is: \u201cPut younger people around you\u201d; right?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Yes; oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I think one of the best things\u2014we didn\u2019t even realize\u2014for 33 years, being the Detroit Lions chaplain, we\u2019re around 20-year-olds! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201425-year-olds, 28-year-olds.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It kept us young!<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Well, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: They keep you vibrant.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Oh, yes they do.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: They challenge you, and they want what you have. I remember saying to a player, years ago, when I was getting older. I was probably in my 40s. I said to Luther, \u201cHey, I think I\u2019m done.\u201d He says, \u201cWhat?!\u201d I said, \u201cI used to be the age of the players, and I could relate to them. Now, I\u2019m as old as their parents. I think I\u2019m done.\u201d He says, \u201cDude, are you crazy?! These are the best years.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWhy do you say that?\u201d He says, \u201cNow, you\u2019re our mentor.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Exactly.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cWe don\u2019t want a peer; we don\u2019t want a peer.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dennis, you said to me, when I turned 60\u2014you probably said this to a lot of 60-year-olds; but you said it to me, and I never forgot it\u2014you said, \u201cBest decade of your life.\u201d I said, \u201cWhatever, dude! This is not going to\u2026\u201d [Laughter] \u201cThis can be the best\u2026\u201d\u2014you inspired me to run into my 60s, like, \u201cThis is not [where] you\u2019re finishing slow; you are now at a place where God can really, really use you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: You may be slower\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Sure.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014to finish the race. [Laughter] But I\u2019m thinking of a man, who was instrumental in my early formative years of walking with Christ. His name was H.D. McCarty. He was the pastor at University Baptist Church in Fayetteville, Arkansas. He had one fourth of the student body, on an annual basis, come to that church\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Wow.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014now, not every day\/not every Sunday\u2014but H.D. was relevant and was preaching it.<\/p>\n<p>I watched him growing older. I had lunch with him the other day; he would not let me come and pick him up, and he\u2019s 91 years old. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s a little scary.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: He drove.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Yes; well, let\u2019s not get into that\u2014okay?\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Yes, we tried really hard.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014because we\u2019re all headed there. Anyway, he wouldn\u2019t let me pick him up.<\/p>\n<p>We walked into this hamburger joint in Fayetteville. And he was back in the kitchen\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What?! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014challenging these young men\u2014it was two brothers who put this barbeque burger place together\u2014and he was challenging them: \u201cAre you doing what\u2019s right?\u201d \u201cAre you living for Christ?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Really.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And he doesn\u2019t even care what they think of him anymore. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: He doesn\u2019t!<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: No, but the weight that that carries\u2014for someone, who\u2019s that age, who\u2019s willing to walk into the kitchen, and ask you, \u201cAre you living for Christ?\u201d\u2014you\u2019re going to go, \u201cOh, I need to pay attention to this guy.\u201d There\u2019s something about\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: There\u2019s a weightiness.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: \u2014that authority that comes with age: \u201cIf he really cares about me to ask me, I really need to pay attention to this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We love being around H.D.; both of us do. Because I went to the church as much as he [Dennis] did\u2014he was employed\u2014but I went every Sunday, too, and learned so much from him. When we get a call from him on the phone, we\u2019re both are\u2014he\u2019s on the phone and I\u2019m listening\u2014because I want to hear every word he has to say! [Laughter] It\u2019s a treasure; it\u2019s a treasure.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Because nobody wants to be around old grumpy\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: They don\u2019t! He is alive.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: But when H.D. calls\u2014he\u2019s 91\u2014I want to hear every word he has to say. There\u2019s a big difference in older and becoming old.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: He\u2019s still fiery for Christ.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Oh, he is!<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Yes; oh, absolutely.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: In fact, what we\u2019re talking about\u2014is how he\u2019s finishing and what he\u2019s thinking about\u2014proclaiming Christ. He\u2019s finishing a book. [Laughter] He has had this book going for 30 years\u2014he\u2019s 91; keep in mind\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: He\u2019s been working on this book his whole life.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014but he\u2019s got these people around him now who are helping him get that book\u2014it\u2019s a 1,000 pages long\u2014it\u2019s going to need an editor. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, it is.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: But when you get together with H.D.\u2014something you said, Dave, just reminded me of it\u2014H.D.\u2019s had a couple of strokes. He talks haltingly, but he does get it out. But what he\u2019s talking about has so much substance, and life, and Jesus Christ\u2014and it\u2019s always about that\u2014it was always about that on Sunday morning when he preached. He was the most Christ-centered preacher\/teacher that I\u2019ve ever heard\/ever known. He just wanted to talk about who Jesus is\u2014what Jesus has done for us\u2014and confront people with Him so they come to faith in Him. He said, \u201cAll of eternity is based on that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: The thing that H.D. is doing\u2014now, he\u2019s 91; he can\u2019t get around very well\u2014but he calls people. He has this list of people who were very important to him through the years\u2014he calls these people; he\u2019s calling two or three people every week\u2014and he keeps calling.<\/p>\n<p>You may not have the ability to lead a Bible study somewhere; but you can have a cell phone, and you can pick up a phone and call people and encourage them on the phone. Because every time he calls us, it\u2019s like, \u201cOh, H.D.\u2019s on the phone. What does he have to say?\u201d We want to hear every word he has to say. That\u2019s a very practical thing that anybody can do, because people are longing to be encouraged and to be thought of\u2014just to have your phone ring and have somebody say, \u201cI was thinking about you; how are you doing?\u201d\u2014that means the world.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes; when I hear you talk about H.D.\u2014and I don\u2019t know him\u2014but I can feel your excitement about his excitement.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s what I think: \u201cIf there\u2019s a word that describes a lot of older people, who are living old\u2014not growing older\u2014but living old, what\u2019s the word that comes to your mind? Because I had a word come to my mind.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Withdrawal.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes; pull away.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: Yes; death.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, it\u2019s like they\u2019re done.<\/p>\n<p>I had a word come to me: cynical.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Mine was self-centered: it\u2019s about their pain, and their situation, and what they\u2019ve lost.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You hear that\u2014and you\u2019re like, \u201cNo! I do not want to be that person,\u201d\u2014but I think you are saying, \u201cYou will become that person unless you grow older.<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: That\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cIt\u2019s got to be a growing process.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Barbara: Because H.D. could stop calling, because he has a hard time with language now. But it has not stopped him from making phone calls.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: He thinks at the speed of light, okay? [Laughter]\u2014but translating it through his tongue into words\u2014all that\u2014and I just listen to him; I say, \u201cGreat to be with you, H.D.\u201d And I\u2019ll call him after I get back from this trip, and we\u2019ll chat for a little bit.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the thing: H.D. could have been a victim. He grew up in Highland Park, Texas\/in North Dallas. He once told me the only thing he ever heard his dad promise him was a lie. He said, \u201cOne Saturday morning, I was sitting, eating cereal. My dad came down, and walked out the screen door, and said, \u2018See you later, son.\u2019 And the next minutes that followed, there was a scurry of people around his house\/H.D.\u2019s house as a boy. He went outside to see what was going on. He walked out into the garage and found his dad, having shot himself.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Ahhh!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Wow.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: He could be a victim,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis: \u2014but he\u2019s not! You know why? Because the One who said, \u201cI have come that you might have life and have it abundantly,\u201d spoke that into H.D.\u2019s life; and he\u2019s been living it ever since.<\/p>\n<p>Hang out with those kind of people\u2014whew!\u2014you\u2019re going to be changed; they\u2019re going to rock your world. We all need to make sure we\u2019re listening to the right voices today.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: I\u2019m Shelby Abbott; and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson, with Dennis and Barbara Rainey, on FamilyLife Today. The ministry of FamilyLife has really made it\u2019s mark in so many different marriages and families. I\u2019d love it if you would make your mark alongside of us. One of the things that we\u2019re trying to do this month is raise $250,000 in new funds by the end of August. We\u2019d love it if you would partner with us\/link arms with us\u2014the ministry of FamilyLife\u2014to help reach marriages and families all over the country and all over the world.<\/p>\n<p>When you do\u2014and you partner with us\u2014with any donation that you make, we\u2019re going to send you a FamilyLife pen along with a copy of Brant Hansen\u2019s Unoffendable. It\u2019s just a small way of us saying, \u201cThank you for partnering with us, supporting this ministry, and being part of the solution when it comes to reaching marriages and families for the glory of Jesus Christ.\u201d Again, you can head over to FamilyLifeToday.com to make your donation. Or give us a call at 800-358-6329; again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now, tomorrow, Dennis and Barbara Rainey are back as they explore topics like heaven and discuss the eternal significance of living with purpose in your later years. That\u2019s tomorrow; we hope you\u2019ll join us. On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. 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