{"id":285078,"date":"2024-08-05T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-08-05T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/how-to-change-and-make-it-stick-debra-fileta\/"},"modified":"2025-06-10T17:25:03","modified_gmt":"2025-06-10T21:25:03","slug":"how-to-change-and-make-it-stick-debra-fileta","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-to-change-and-make-it-stick-debra-fileta\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Change&#8230;And Make it Stick! Debra Fileta"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You want personal growth. And transformation that sticks. But how do we shed destructive habits and past hurts? Learn healthy habits to make change last with author and licensed counselor, Debra Fileta.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You want personal growth. And transformation that sticks. But how do we shed unhealthy habits and past hurts? Learn to make change last with Debra Fileta.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280865,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/d7e243df-229a-4a44-acbe-b1b7013adc54\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:15","filesize":"25.90M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2024-08-05 08:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[2728],"podcast_series":[8783],"cwp_profile":[9748],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-285078","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-healthy-habits","podcast_series-reset-powerful-habits-to-change-your-life-debra-fileta","cwp_profile-debra-fileta","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/285078\/how-to-change-and-make-it-stick-debra-fileta","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/285078\/how-to-change-and-make-it-stick-debra-fileta","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"3DDF6HFiaO\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-to-change-and-make-it-stick-debra-fileta\/\">How to Change&#8230;And Make it Stick! Debra Fileta<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-to-change-and-make-it-stick-debra-fileta\/embed\/#?secret=3DDF6HFiaO\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;How to Change&#8230;And Make it Stick! Debra Fileta&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"3DDF6HFiaO\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["d7e243df-229a-4a44-acbe-b1b7013adc54"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/d7e243df-229a-4a44-acbe-b1b7013adc54\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:28:15"],"filesize":["25.90M"],"_thumbnail_id":["280865"],"show_notes":["<ul>\n<li>Help make YOUR mark: Your donation supports crucial resources for families and includes a special FamilyLife Pen and Brant Hansen's book, \"\"Unoffendable\"\"\u2014<a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/august-2024\/urgent-need\/?cru_source=FLTD24&amp;cru_medium=Icare&amp;cru_campaign=August2024\">join us today!<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Connect with Debra Fileta and catch more of their thoughts at <a href=\"https:\/\/debrafileta.com\/\">debrafileta.com<\/a>, and on Insta <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/DebraFileta\/\">@debrafileta<\/a> and catch other episodes on <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?s=debra+fileta\">FamilyLife Today<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>And grab her book, \"<a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/reset-powerful-habits-to-own-your-thoughts-understand-your-feelings-and-change-your-life\/\">Reset: Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts, Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life<\/a>,\" in our shop!<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/group-studies\/companion-workbooks\/\">Explore FamilyLife's diverse selection of workbooks<\/a>, including the new Art of Marriage\u2014perfect for small groups, marriage events, and personal growth journeys!<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n"],"transcript_content":["<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>How to Change\u2026and Make It Stick!<\/p>\n<p>Guest:Debra Fileta<\/p>\n<p>From the series:Reset: Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts,<\/p>\n<p>Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life (Day 1 of 3)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:August 5, 2024<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Hey, before we get started today, let's talk small groups.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, because everyone at this time of year starts thinking, \u201cWhat small group material should I use?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, we've led hundreds of groups; and you have got to have great material. FamilyLife\u00ae has you covered. We have great, great material: the Art of Marriage\u00ae, Vertical Marriage\u00ae\u2014you name it, we\u2019ve got it\u2014and it's on sale the month of August. Go to FamilyLife.com\/shop, and it's 25 percent off.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And let me just say, \u201cThank you,\u201d\u2014to all the small group leaders\u2014\"You are making a difference; keep going!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Again, that\u2019s FamilyLife.com\/shop and get 25 percent off right now.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: We have all these behaviors we want to change; we have all these places where we say we're stuck. But then, what we're just doing is putting Band-Aids\u00ae on the peripheral. We're doing external work without doing internal healing. And guess what? That doesn't take you very far.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I would guess every person who has ever lived has asked this question\u2014do you know what question it is?\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: No.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\u201cHow can I change? I want to change my life,\u201d or \u201cI want to change this area of my life. I want to stop doing\u2026\u201d \u201cI want to start doing\u2026\u201d At some point, I think<\/p>\n<p>100 percent of us have asked that question [concerning]: \u201cI want to change.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Does the narcissist think it? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I hope you're not saying I'm a narcissist.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: No, I'm not saying you at all. [Laughter] But I think you're right\u2014I don't know if it's 100 percent\u2014but most of us, at least.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You\u2019re supposed to agree with me;\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Sorry. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014I\u2019m your partner. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Sorry; but we do think, \u201cOh, I'm so frustrated. I want to change this, but I can't get out of it.\u201d So I think that this is definitely an area that we want to change.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, the good news is: today we're going to find out how we change. We've got the woman in the studio. Don't you think Debra is the person?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Debra Fileta is with us; and Debra, we love you. I love you!<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I love you, too!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I feel like what you're writing\/what you're doing is resonating with so many people. As we've had you on before, everything that you're talking about and writing is what we need to hear, especially today; because you're really getting into these areas that we need healing in.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes, we're going into deep territory. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Debra: But we're going to make it easy.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, this is what you do: you're a counselor; you\u2019re a podcaster; you\u2019re a speaker; you're an author; you're a home school mom of four kids. Seriously, how do you do all of what you do?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I pace myself; I don't do it all at the same time\u2014try to set a lot of boundaries\u2014I honestly have to work to practice what I preach. Can you imagine if I was living unhealthy behind the scenes and trying to get people healthy?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think a lot of people do that, but you don't; you have a lot of character. I think it\u2019s the same when we do so many marriage conversation, and conferences, and speaking\u2014it changes us\u2014you have to walk it.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: You do.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We're going to talk a little bit about Reset, your book. I'm guessing that title\u2014I'd love to know how you even came up with that title\u2014but the subtitle is: Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts, Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life. So there it is: Change Your Life. I'm picking this book up.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Seriously, if I'm in an airport bookstore, and I see this, I'm going to be [thinking], \u201cI need to reset.\u201d Is that what the whole idea of the title was: \u201cIt's time to reset\u201d?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes, absolutely: \u201cHit the reset button. It's time to do things differently and to do them better.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It's funny: I would say it kind of started with this story of my car in college. I had this lemon of a car.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I laughed out loud when I read this story.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014Me, too! [Laughter] I did, too, when we read it. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014It was like, \u201cI had no idea.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: It was a Jetta, a Volkswagen Jetta; it was green. I gave her a name\u2014I loved this car\u2014my first car when I turned 16. But then, I take it to college; and things start going crazy. The car starts breaking down on me: the windows rolled down suddenly; the alarm would just start to blare; or the windshield wipers would just go on a sunny day. It was\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It was like a possessed car.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014it was a lemon. [Laughter] It was possessed.<\/p>\n<p>And one day before finals, I'm running out to my car. I'm kind of late. I'm putting in the key, and I pull out the key; and the whole entire lock cylinder comes out. [Laughter] I'm holding it on my key, [wondering], \u201cWhat am I going to do with this?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is when I laughed. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Debra: The windows roll down; the alarm starts to blare, and I'm [thinking], \u201cI have got to get to my final.\u201d [Laughter] I just jump in the car. It's really cold outside, because it's winter. I'm, literally, driving in a winter coat with the windows rolled down and the alarm blaring\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: In Pennsylvania?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014in Virginia. The alarm is blaring, [Laughter] and I drive to my final; I'm [thinking], \u201cWhat am I going to do here?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But think about that hot mess and how many times we feel like a hot mess in life. How many people, listening, have gotten to that point? Some of us are a little bit more<\/p>\n<p>Type A, and we shove it all inside; and we're a hot mess on the inside. But a lot of us are a hot mess on the outside\u2014you just see it\u2014and you're [wondering], \u201cWhat do I do with this?\u201d Well, we try to fix the hot mess exterior: I could have muffled the alarm; I could have taped the windows with duct tape [or] pulled off the windshield wipers\u2014just done the external work to get the car to a better place.<\/p>\n<p>But you didn't actually fix it: unless you go under the hood; unless you see what's going on underneath the surface of your life. That's truly the whole point of Reset: we have all these behaviors we want to change; we have all these places where we say we're stuck. But then, what we're just doing is putting Band-Aids on the peripheral. We're doing the external work without doing internal healing. And guess what? That doesn't take you very far.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s good.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: What was wrong with the car? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Well, I have this friend of mine, this guy. When you bring a guy in [Laughter]\u2014and it\u2019s someone who you have interest in\u2014you just let them do whatever.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Oh, but he\u2019s not a mechanic, you're saying?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: He\u2019s not a mechanic! \u201cWhat am I doing?\u201d [Laughter] I let this guy work on my car; he put in a stereo and crossed the wires.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Oh.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: So there were all kinds of wires crossed underneath the surface there.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Ooh, and that's a great metaphor, too.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes; people come into our life\u2014like that guy who doesn't know what he's doing\u2014and they cross our wires. Trauma can often begin to become our template that we live out of instead of truth.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Did you have any in your life?\u2014that you had some wires crossed and you thought,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Oh, look! I like it! Ann\u2019s being your counselor.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I know; now, you\u2019re being my counselor. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Here we go; let's go!<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Oh, I'm not used to this.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: She does this to me all the time. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Debra: The tables have turned.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: You've done this with us a lot.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I know; it's like payback time.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I know; yes.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Definitely\u2014because nobody goes through life uninterrupted on your journey with God\u2014nobody. The enemy is constantly trying to come in and cross our wires, using very traumatic experiences\u2014big \u201cT\u201d Trauma, but also little \u201ct\u201d trauma\u2014beliefs that you hold onto without even realizing it.<\/p>\n<p>I grew up\u2014my grandfather was an evangelist, an incredible man of God\u2014worked really hard: traveled Egypt, sharing the gospel in a Muslim country.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Wow!<\/p>\n<p>Debra: So my dad is very gospel-focused; but also, a hard worker. My parents were immigrants; they came to the United States. And you know what they did when they came?\u2014they worked really hard because they had to. But watching that, as a child, you start to download messages that weren't intended to be there. The message was: \u201cIf you work really hard, you will be loved; you will succeed. You have to work really hard for God.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Do you see how those subtle things can cause our wires to get crossed? And all of a sudden now, I'm\u2014an eight-, nine-, ten-year-old\u2014 who thinks so much of my value comes from what I do\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014your performance.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014my performance, working really hard.<\/p>\n<p>And guess what? Eventually, in grad school, I hit a place of burnout\u2014depression; waking up, struggling; unmotivated\u2014not realizing my crossed wires underneath the surface. If I'm frank, some of it was chemical-crossed wires from hormones and changes in hormones underneath the surface. I think that's legitimate\u2014and we have to understand that part of it, too\u2014but also crossed wires in my belief systems.<\/p>\n<p>When you put them all together\u2014what's going on inside of your body; what's going on outside of you\u2014and you put them all together, you can find yourself stuck.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And then, what happens is that affects every other area of your life. If you never look into that, it affects your marriage; it affects the way you parent.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Exactly.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It affects everything. That's why I love that you're passionate about this, because you're wanting to fix the crossed wires\u2014or I should say\u2014\u201cJesus can help us fix those crossed wires to bring healing, and that healing can go into every area of our lives.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes, absolutely. I think the problem in our world\u2014and even in our churches\u2014we often talk about the exterior more than the interior:<\/p>\n<p>[\u201cChurch\u201d]: \u201cBreak free from sin,\u201d \u201cStop looking at porn.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>[Member]: \u201cOkay, but how? How do I do that if I'm so drawn to it?\u201d You're drawn to it, because of your internal trauma: your inability to regulate your emotions.<\/p>\n<p>[\u201cChurch\u201d]: \u201cStop smoking,\u201d \u201cStop getting drunk,\u201d \u201cStop getting angry at your children,\u201d \u201cStop eating so much.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>[Member]: \u201cOkay, but how?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This is why these conversations are so important, because so many Christians are stuck\u2014they have Jesus; they are filled with the Spirit of God\u2014but they have never learned how to allow the Spirit of God to bring healing into their inner world. That's where transformation begins.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Oh, you just hit all those hot topics. Everybody's [thinking], \u201cOoh, you hit me in one of those.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You start out with this whole pause idea; talk about that.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I would say the first chapter\u2014so Reset is 31 small bite-sized chapters\u2014you probably noticed: they're two to three pages.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: But it's kind of annoying, I think, that you open the book\u2014you're ready; the introduction kind of pumps you up: \u201cIt's time to change,\u201d \u201cIt's time to heal,\u201d\u2014and then, Chapter One is:\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\"Pause.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014[speaking slowly] \u201cPause.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cLet\u2019s stop for a moment.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: [Reader\u2019s thinking], \u201dWait a second; I\u2019m ready to go!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \"I\u2019m in the car; let\u2019s drive!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u201cYes, let\u2019s do this!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes; why did you start there?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Well, because this is a book that is going to establish habits that help you heal, not just quick fixes: \u201cSo let's actually look at our life and find out: \u2018Do I have the space to heal?\u2019 \u2018Do I have the bandwidth to heal?\u2019 Because if you don't have the space to do the work, then how do you expect anything to change?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We live in such a noise-saturated world; we don't actually have time to sit and think. This is why counseling is so beneficial: for some people, it's the first time they've ever given themselves an hour to process\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014what's going on in their inner world. Think about that: if you don't have time to stop and hear what God is saying to you\u2014and not only that\u2014you might think you want to change something; and then you meet with God, and He's [saying], \u201cNo, I want you to start [here] first; there's something I'm doing that's different than that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: You can relate to that, as a mom with four. I think about moms\u2014who are working; they're homeschooling, maybe; they've got four, two\/however many kids\u2014you feel like you don't have time for anything for yourself, let alone going into this inner-healing kind of idea or reset.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes, absolutely.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So should they wait?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Well, we can make excuses. I'm a mom of four, but my priority needs to be my health; because if I am not healthy, I am parenting out of that place. You do better by making yourself a priority in the sense of: \u201cI need to be healthy. I need to be healed so that I don't parent out of that place [of unhealth].\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It's interesting: I was studying your book this week. Before we came in this morning, I picked it up; and I don't know why I ended up on this page.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It's just what you're saying\u2014it's actually Chapter 30, and I read this this morning\u2014\u201cThere's something I need you to hear: sometimes, we do more to feel less.\u201d And I [thought], \u201cThis is my life\u201d; [Laughter] I really did.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That's right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You know; you've had us on [your podcast]\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Debra: That\u2019s a good line, Dave.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014and you were like put me on the couch, and said, \u201cHey, Dave, let's talk about your trauma,\u201d\u2014but sometimes,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s what our counselor friend told you.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014we do more to feel less.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You even talk in this chapter about distractions and cell phones, and how much we're distracted; and we're not focused. Guess what? I don't think, in my entire adult life, since the cell phone has been a part of my life, I've gone a day without a cell phone.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Right, absolutely.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I drove in today and I forgot my cell phone! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Today, literally?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I was [wondering],\u201d\u2018Where\u2019s my phone?\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014today; this morning.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\u201cWhere\u2019s my phone?\u201d \u201cWhere\u2019s my phone?\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Debra: This is prophetic.<\/p>\n<p>21062952228151500Dave: \u2014\"Oh, my goodness! It's back in the house.\u201d And I'm like, \u201cI can't function without my phone; we have got to go back.\u201d I'm [thinking],\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: But you\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\u201cI\u2019m going to do a day without a phone.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I was kind of amazed\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Wow!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014that he didn't turn around. I thought, \u201cOh, we're going to turn around.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I'm so impressed.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I know!<\/p>\n<p>Debra: And I feel like this goes so well with this idea:\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes; that\u2019s why I brought it up!<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014\u201cWhat does it look like to stop and pause for a moment, and be more in tune to your inner world?\u201d\u2014because we do [keep busy]. Why are we so busy?\u2014oftentimes, we want to be busy because, the second we stop, we feel things that we don't want to feel.<\/p>\n<p>But what we're not realizing is those feelings are not a punishment; those feelings are a signal. God is saying, \u201cPay attention to what you feel and respond to it.\u201d It's like: \u201cWarning!\u201d \u201cWarning!\u201d \u201cWarning!\u201d\u2014that's what the feeling is.<\/p>\n<p>If we don't ever quiet ourselves to feel the feelings\u2014and then, underneath that, to get to the root of some of those thoughts\u2014the formula I want you to keep in your mind:<\/p>\n<p>If the question is: \u201cHow do I change? How do I get unstuck?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Here's the answer\u2014one sentence\u2014\u201cRealize that your thoughts lead to your feelings, and your feelings lead to your behavior.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If there's a behavior you want to change, you back up and you start to isolate:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhen do I feel that feeling?\u201d \u201cWhat feeling is it that causes me to do that behavior?\u201d\u2014\"When I'm stressed, I go to the fridge; I go to the pantry.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Then back up a little: \u201cWhat causes me to be stressed?\u201d It's a belief; it's a thought that: \u201cThis is too much,\u201d \u201cI can't do this; I'm overwhelmed,\u201d \u201cI'm not enough; I'm not good enough for this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If you don't isolate those thoughts\u2014and begin unpacking them, and aligning them with the template of truth versus the template of trauma\u2014you're going to continue to feel stuck.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think every listener, right now, should just take a minute and pause right now,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\"Pause.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014and consider: \u201cWhat is the area\u201d\u2014I feel like it's a hiding place\u2014\"Where do you go to hide?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Mine tends to be food. When I get stressed, I go straight to the refrigerator. I think we all have our little areas that we go to. \u201cSo what is yours?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Could resentment be one? Do we get stuck on a person, who maybe,\u2014do you think that could happen?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I would say resentment is the feeling: \u201cI feel resentful.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Okay; that makes sense.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u201cAnd then, what do you do when you feel resentful?\u2014do you withdraw and isolate?\u201d That would be the behavior: \u201cI'm going to just be done; I'm done. I'm going to go to my room,\u201d \u201cI'm going to walk out of this house. I'm going to hop in the car and drive around, and who knows when I'm going to come back; because I feel resentful.\u201d The behavior would be isolation and withdrawal.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: When you were saying that, Debra, I was thinking, \u201cOne of the things I do is I do activity:\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Debra: You just do more.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cI just run: I go play a game; I go workout; I go ride the motorcycle\u2014whatever. It's just like, \u2018I'm going to go do something,\u2019\u2014usually, productive stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When I sat down with a counselor a few years ago\u2014I was going through a hard time in our vocational life: leaving our church\u2014it didn't go as easy as I thought and pretty messy. He said to me, at the end of our first session: \u201cThis is your homework assignment\u2014answer this question\u2014\u2018What are you running from?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I, literally, laughed out loud. I [asked], \u201cWhat do you mean: \u2018What am I running from?\u2019\u201d He said, \u201cYou don't see this?\u201d I [said], \u201cSee what?\u201d He said\u2014he's got my whole life on the board\u2014\u201cLook at your life. You're so busy, because you're running.\u2019\u201d I said to him\u2014Debra, you\u2019ll love this\u2014I [said], \u201cWell, you're the counselor\u2014you know\u2014just tell me.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u201cYou tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I knew he knew.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: He [said], \u201cNo, you have to find this out.\u201d I came home and told Ann, because she was waiting at the door: \u201cHow did it go?! How did it go?!\u201d I [said], \u201cHe wants me to figure out: \u2018What am I running from?\u2019\u201d She's like, \u201dDuh! I've been trying to tell you this for\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I didn't say, \u201cDuh,\u201d though. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, it was just that we've had this conversation for decades,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014and it was what you're [Debra] saying: it was: \u201cI don't want to pause; I want to do more to feel less. I don't have to feel the feelings. I'll just keep getting productive; and people will [say],\u2019Hey! [clap, clap] Way to go!\u2019 And I don't have to go to that dark place, where I [think], \u2018Okay; I'm not dealing with this trauma.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Today's not about me; but I think a lot of people can relate to what I do. They may do something different\u2014but they're running from that feeling that leads them back to that thought.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: And that's why it can be tricky to figure this stuff out, because some of the out-working doesn't look bad.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right, right.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: It doesn't look toxic.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It looks successful.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: It looks successful: you're a workaholic; you have massive ministry, and you're running on all cylinders\u2014\u201cBut what's going on inside?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And people applaud it.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes; people applaud it; they don't know what's going on inside.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I think the key here is: \u201cWhat is this rooted in?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u201cWhat is this rooted in?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: How do you get to the root?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Well, wait, wait! That's going too far. I want to hear the beginning. First step: give us the first step, right now. You already said it. Repeat it again so that we can think, \u201cOkay, here's what I'm going to do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: The formula is:\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave and Ann: \u2014\"Thoughts\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014\u201cThoughts \u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\"lead to feelings,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014\"lead to feelings,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\"lead to behavior.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014\"which then lead to your behaviors.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u201cSo what is the underlying feeling? And then, what\u2019s the thought that\u2019s before that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>For you, for example,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Here we go; I knew we were going to get to counseling me. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I know, right? You're the easy one, though, Dave\u2014you are courageous; you are direct\u2014\u201cWhat is the feeling that you're uncomfortable with feeling?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cI want to be valuable.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: So you're feeling\u2014you're not feeling valued\u2014you're feeling\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cNot seen.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014unworthy; unseen.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cNot productive, and I know I can go do things I'm good at.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: So let's say Ann says something like, \u201cDave, why didn't you do this when you were supposed to do it?\u201d All of a sudden\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cWhy didn't you squeeze the water out of the sponge this morning?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, she said that this morning. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Debra: And all of a sudden, you're [thinking], \u201cI feel unvaluable and unseen.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I said, \u201cLet\u2019s go work.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u201cI feel unappreciated\u201d; and then you tell her, \u201cWell, here's why I did it\u2026\u201d Then, instead of really coming to her, and saying, \u201cHey, I'm starting to feel these feelings; I could use some appreciation\/some validation. Some of this stuff may be coming from my past.\u201d Sitting down and having that conversation would lead to deeper intimacy.<\/p>\n<p>But then, it's like, \u201cYou know what? I won't do it again, Ann. [Laughter] Thanks for mentioning it. I'm out; I'm going to go bike a couple miles\u201d; right? It's like the underlying feeling was not comfortable. And then if we back up, what's the thought that was there?\u2014\u201cI'm not good enough; I'll never be good enough.\u201d Where does that come from?\u2014that comes from trauma!<\/p>\n<p>Now, a three-mile bike ride, in and of itself; there's nothing wrong with that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: But you see\u2014and I hope people, who are listening, start to see\u2014\u201cWait a second; I can actually do good things out of an unhealthy place.\u201d What's the problem with that?\u2014the problem is that you will eventually break. You will not be able to do these good things for a long time. If they're rooted in unhealthy things, you\u2019re not going to be able to sustain that pace.<\/p>\n<p>That's why pastors of gigantic successful churches\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I was just going to ask that.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014burn out, break down, moral failure. That's why people, up and leave, with what you thought was a happy marriage on the outside. That's why things happen, and people finally break; because external behavior is not going to sustain you if it's not rooted in the internal.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: How do you convince\u2014I'm thinking there are guys who; and maybe, women think the same way\u2014but I know, for me, I grew up as an athlete in locker rooms, where they just tell you, \u201dTough it out,\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I know: \u201cPush through.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\u201cSuck it up.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: The military\u2014I have a lot of vets who come in\u2014here\u2019s the thing: you don't have to convince them\u2014life will; that's the unfortunate part. You will get to a point, where you break down; and then, you've got a face: \u201cHow do I prevent this from happening? How do I get healthy so that I can move forward into a healthy place?\u201d Some people might feel convicted right away, and say, \u201cI want to heal.\u201d But other people: they're sign\/their signal has to get so loud that they break.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Because we're dealing with this\u2014we're coming off of a really busy ministry season\u2014the thing that's happened, now that our kids are gone, is that Dave grabs me to go with him on all of these things. [Laughter] I told him I feel like he's running as fast as he can; and I have a hold of his belt loop, and my feet are off the ground, as he's pulling me alongside.<\/p>\n<p>See, we\u2019ll have to talk to Debra at lunch about: \u201cHow we get off of that cycle?\u201d\u2014because I don\u2019t know what that looks like. Do you know what I mean?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, and I just wonder if we should talk on air; because I bet you there are people feeling the same way\u2014in either backwards or\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014that may be\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014one of the spouses is running harder, maybe even parenting in a different way, and the other feels like, \u201cI'm not with you on this, and I'm feeling dragged.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014or \u201cI can't keep up with you at this pace.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Can you talk about that tomorrow?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes, let's do it; let's do it! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You're smiling, like, \u201cI\u2019ve got a lot to tell you.\u201d [Laughter] Is that what you were thinking?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: No; I just love how willing the two of you always are to [say], \u201cOkay, let's figure this out on air; let's just do it.\u201d [Laughter] I had you guys on air on my podcast recently for a full-blown counseling session, so I think this is going to be Part Two.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I like it.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: We\u2019re going to dig in a little bit deeper.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I like it.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Okay.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Wow! Okay; I'm looking forward to tomorrow, [when] we get to hear more from both the Wilsons and Debra Fileta; so make sure you join us then. I know you're looking forward to it as much as I am.<\/p>\n<p>In the meantime, I'm Shelby Abbott; and you've been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with\u2014yes, that's right\u2014Debra Fileta, on FamilyLife Today. Debra's written a book called Reset: Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts, Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life. Sound like something you want to pick up? It sounds like something I'd love to read. You can get your copy, right now, by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com in the show notes. Or you could feel free to give us a call at 800-358-6329; again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And as you're getting ready for small groups coming up in the fall\u2014I know it's kind of hard to think about that, being that it is August\u2014but the fall is just around the corner. We wanted to let you know that all of our FamilyLife workbooks are 25 percent off this month. You can go to the show notes at FamilyLifeToday.com to look around and pick out what will be best for you; because all our workbooks, again, are 25 percent off during this month.<\/p>\n<p>Now, coming up tomorrow, Debra Fileta is back to talk about the necessity of ongoing support\u2014practical steps and community engagement\u2014in order to see lasting change. That's tomorrow; we hope you'll join us. On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife<\/p>\n"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-08-05.pdf"],"_edit_lock":["1749590710:47000"],"_edit_last":["47000"],"theme_header_position":["Sticky"],"post_header_is_sticky":["default"],"is_header_overlay":["0"],"episode_type":["audio"],"date_recorded":["2024-08-05 08:00:00"],"enclosure":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/d7e243df-229a-4a44-acbe-b1b7013adc54\/audio.mp3"],"_seopress_redirections_type":["301"],"_seopress_redirections_logged_status":["both"],"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":[""],"_g_feedback_shortcode_b1d6cf750447590c9258bc37c604b43b71666c23":["\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Name\" type=\"name\"  required=\"true\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Email\" type=\"email\" required=\"true\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Website\" type=\"url\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Message\" type=\"textarea\" \/]"],"_g_feedback_shortcode_atts_b1d6cf750447590c9258bc37c604b43b71666c23":["a:17:{s:2:\"to\";s:29:\"margaret.coyle@familylife.com\";s:7:\"subject\";s:77:\"[FamilyLife - A Cru Ministry] How to Change...And Make it Stick! Debra Fileta\";s:12:\"show_subject\";s:2:\"no\";s:6:\"widget\";i:0;s:14:\"block_template\";N;s:19:\"block_template_part\";N;s:2:\"id\";i:285078;s:18:\"submit_button_text\";s:6:\"Submit\";s:14:\"customThankyou\";s:0:\"\";s:21:\"customThankyouHeading\";s:26:\"Your message has been sent\";s:21:\"customThankyouMessage\";s:30:\"Thank you for your submission!\";s:22:\"customThankyouRedirect\";s:0:\"\";s:10:\"jetpackCRM\";b:1;s:9:\"className\";N;s:9:\"postToUrl\";N;s:14:\"salesforceData\";N;s:12:\"hiddenFields\";N;}"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-285078.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-285078.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-e11dbe9f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-e11dbe9f > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 3em;padding-bottom: 3em;padding-left: 1.5em;padding-right: 1.5em;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #f8f8f8;;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-e11dbe9f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-e11dbe9f > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f{padding-top: 3px;padding-bottom: 3px;padding-left: 1.5px;padding-right: 1.5px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #f8f8f8;;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-e11dbe9f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-e11dbe9f > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f{padding-top: 3px;padding-bottom: 3px;padding-left: 1.5px;padding-right: 1.5px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #f8f8f8;;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-85559158{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-85559158 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 960px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 10px;padding-right: 10px;margin-top: 60px !important;margin-bottom: 60px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ea16301a{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ea16301a > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.uagb-layout-grid > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{row-gap: 40px;column-gap: 40px;grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr)  minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: start;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-26ccc5c9{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: flex-start;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9{min-height: 710px;box-shadow: 3px 7px 7px -1px rgba(0,0,0,0.15) ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #ffffff;;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: flex-start;flex-wrap: nowrap;align-self: start;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;background: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/07\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.jpg) 50% 50%;;background-size: cover;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-84f50fa3{max-width: 100vw;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-84f50fa3 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3{min-height: 250px;box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-repeat: no-repeat;background-position: 50% 50%;background-size: cover;background-attachment: scroll;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.webp);background-clip: padding-box;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-271bf38d{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-271bf38d > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ab8d0982{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ab8d0982 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.uagb-layout-grid{row-gap: 8px;column-gap: 8px;grid-template-columns: auto  minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-heading-text{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3 .uagb-heading-text{font-weight: 300;font-size: 16px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: left;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-f9d54988 .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 4px;padding-bottom: 4px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;border-top-width: 3px;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-heading-text{color: #006a5a;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36 .uagb-heading-text{font-weight: 400;font-size: 26px;line-height: 1.2em;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;color: #1573a2;fill: #1573a2;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{padding: 0px;border-radius: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__label{font-size: 20px;text-decoration: !important;line-height: em;color: #1573a2;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;padding-top: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__label{text-align: left;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{text-decoration: !important;font-size: 20px;line-height: em;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{margin-left: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child {flex-direction: row-reverse;}.uagb-block-fdd052c2.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-fdd052c2.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-679dc0da.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-679dc0da.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-fbb8dca6.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-fbb8dca6.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-b5e9a44d.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-b5e9a44d.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-10525170.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-10525170.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-48a597f8{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-48a597f8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: flex-start;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8{min-height: 710px;box-shadow: 3px 7px 7px -1px rgba(0,0,0,0.15) ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #ffffff;;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: flex-start;flex-wrap: nowrap;align-self: start;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;background: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/07\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.jpg) 50% 50%;;background-size: cover;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-22a41c70{max-width: 100vw;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-22a41c70 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70{min-height: 250px;box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-repeat: no-repeat;background-position: 50% 50%;background-size: cover;background-attachment: scroll;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/HelpFamiliesGrow2.webp);background-clip: padding-box;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-562935bf{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-562935bf > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5a1442f2{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5a1442f2 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.uagb-layout-grid{row-gap: 8px;column-gap: 8px;grid-template-columns: auto  minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-heading-text{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f .uagb-heading-text{font-weight: 300;font-size: 16px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: left;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 4px;padding-bottom: 4px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;border-top-width: 3px;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-heading-text{color: #006a5a;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3 .uagb-heading-text{font-weight: 400;font-size: 26px;line-height: 1.2em;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;color: #1573a2;fill: #1573a2;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{padding: 0px;border-radius: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__label{font-size: 20px;text-decoration: !important;line-height: em;color: #1573a2;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;padding-top: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__label{text-align: left;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{text-decoration: !important;font-size: 20px;line-height: em;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{margin-left: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child {flex-direction: row-reverse;}.uagb-block-83befcbf.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-83befcbf.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-75d2f158.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-75d2f158.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-0d14af90.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-0d14af90.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-4dd6f9d3.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-4dd6f9d3.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-28c58e21.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-28c58e21.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-85559158{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-85559158 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 10px;padding-right: 10px;margin-top: 60px !important;margin-bottom: 60px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ea16301a{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ea16301a > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.uagb-layout-grid > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr)  minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-26ccc5c9{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #ffffff;;grid-column: span 1;grid-row: span 1;align-self: stretch;justify-self: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-84f50fa3{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-84f50fa3 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-position: 54% 48%;background-size: cover;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.webp);background-clip: padding-box;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-271bf38d{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-271bf38d > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ab8d0982{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ab8d0982 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.uagb-layout-grid{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3 .uagb-heading-text{font-size: 12px;letter-spacing: 1px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: center;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;margin-bottom: initial;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-f9d54988 .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap {padding: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-48a597f8{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-48a597f8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #ffffff;;grid-column: span 1;grid-row: span 1;align-self: stretch;justify-self: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-22a41c70{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-22a41c70 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-position: 54% 48%;background-size: cover;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/HelpFamiliesGrow2.webp);background-clip: padding-box;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-562935bf{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-562935bf > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5a1442f2{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5a1442f2 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.uagb-layout-grid{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f .uagb-heading-text{font-size: 12px;letter-spacing: 1px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: center;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;margin-bottom: initial;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap {padding: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-85559158{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-85559158 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 10px;padding-right: 10px;margin-top: 60px !important;margin-bottom: 60px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ea16301a{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ea16301a > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.uagb-layout-grid > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-26ccc5c9{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px !important;margin-bottom: 0px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;order: initial;background-color: #ffffff;;flex-wrap: wrap;grid-column: span 1;grid-row: span 1;align-self: stretch;justify-self: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-84f50fa3{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-84f50fa3 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.webp);background-clip: padding-box;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-271bf38d{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-271bf38d > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ab8d0982{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ab8d0982 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.uagb-layout-grid{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading {padding-left: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3 .uagb-heading-text{letter-spacing: 4px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: center;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;margin-bottom: initial;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-f9d54988 .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{padding: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-48a597f8{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-48a597f8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px !important;margin-bottom: 0px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;order: initial;background-color: #ffffff;;flex-wrap: wrap;grid-column: span 1;grid-row: span 1;align-self: stretch;justify-self: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-22a41c70{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-22a41c70 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/HelpFamiliesGrow2.webp);background-clip: padding-box;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-562935bf{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-562935bf > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5a1442f2{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5a1442f2 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.uagb-layout-grid{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading {padding-left: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f .uagb-heading-text{letter-spacing: 4px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: center;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;margin-bottom: initial;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{padding: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ecebc267{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background: linear-gradient(130deg, #ffffff 60%, #f8f8f8 46%);;background-clip: padding-box;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ecebc267{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background: linear-gradient(130deg, #ffffff 60%, #f8f8f8 46%);;background-clip: padding-box;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ecebc267{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background: linear-gradient(130deg, #ffffff 60%, #f8f8f8 46%);;background-clip: padding-box;flex-wrap: wrap;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: row;align-items: flex-start;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 32px;column-gap: 32px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 80px;padding-bottom: 80px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;row-gap: 32px;column-gap: 32px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 25%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;max-width: 25% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 25%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;max-width: 25% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 25%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;max-width: 25% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 25%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;max-width: 25% !important;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{padding-top: 80px;padding-bottom: 80px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;max-width:  !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;max-width:  !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;max-width:  !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;max-width:  !important;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{padding-top: 80px;padding-bottom: 80px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;max-width: 100% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;max-width: 100% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;max-width: 100% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;max-width: 100% !important;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662.wp-block-uagb-container{color: #ffffff;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662.wp-block-uagb-container *{color: #ffffff;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-f064f662{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-f064f662 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 20px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 20px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #25282a;;row-gap: 20px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: row;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 20px;column-gap: 32px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: row;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 20px;column-gap: 32px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: auto !important;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-default figure img{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000070;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure figcaption{font-style: normal;align-self: center;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay figure img{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000070;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__color-wrapper{opacity: 0.2;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner{left: 15px;right: 15px;top: 15px;bottom: 15px;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-heading{font-style: normal;color: #fff;opacity: 1;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-heading a{color: #fff;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-caption{opacity: 0;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image__figure:hover .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__color-wrapper{opacity: 1;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-separator{width: 30%;border-top-width: 2px;border-top-color: #fff;opacity: 0;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure img{width: 292px;height: 48px;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure:hover .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-caption{opacity: 1;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure:hover .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-separator{opacity: 1;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-default figure:hover img{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000070;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay figure:hover img{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000070;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-f064f662{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-f064f662 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 20px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #25282a;;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure img{width: 280px;height: 45px;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-f064f662{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-f064f662 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 20px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #25282a;;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure img{width: 280px;height: 45px;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #006c5b;;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #006c5b;;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #006c5b;;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #006c5b;;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #006c5b;;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #006c5b;;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5096eaa1{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5096eaa1 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-89b3b7a8{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 2em;padding-bottom: 2em;padding-left: 2em;padding-right: 2em;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-top-left-radius: 30px;border-top-right-radius: 30px;border-bottom-left-radius: 30px;border-bottom-right-radius: 30px;border-color: inherit;background-color: #ebebeb;;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-97ee3d2f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-97ee3d2f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-97ee3d2f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-97ee3d2f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.uagb-block-232092dc.wp-block-uagb-buttons.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap {gap: 10px;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap {justify-content: left;align-items: center;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-uagb-buttons-child .uagb-buttons-repeater{background: #f3bd48;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link{background: #f3bd48;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link:hover{background: #f4deaa;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link:focus{background: #f4deaa;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-button__wrapper .uagb-buttons-repeater{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link.has-text-color:hover .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link.has-text-color:focus .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-button__wrapper  .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000026;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-button__wrapper  .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link:hover{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000026;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link{border-color: #333;border-style: none;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link:hover{border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link:focus{border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-button.is-style-outline .uagb-button__wrapper .wp-block-button__link.uagb-buttons-repeater{border-color: #333;border-style: none;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-button.is-style-outline .uagb-button__wrapper .wp-block-button__link.uagb-buttons-repeater:hover{border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater:hover .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater:focus .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater .uagb-button__icon > svg{width: 15px;height: 15px;fill: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater:hover .uagb-button__icon > svg{fill: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater:focus .uagb-button__icon > svg{fill: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater .uagb-button__icon-position-after{margin-left: 8px;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater .uagb-button__icon-position-before{margin-right: 8px;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-button__link{text-transform: normal;text-decoration: none;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5096eaa1{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5096eaa1 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-89b3b7a8{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8{padding-top: 2px;padding-bottom: 2px;padding-left: 2px;padding-right: 2px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #ebebeb;;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap {justify-content: center;align-items: center;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap .wp-block-button{width: auto;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-button.is-style-outline .uagb-button__wrapper .wp-block-button__link.uagb-buttons-repeater{border-style: none;border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link{border-style: none;border-color: #333;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5096eaa1{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5096eaa1 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-89b3b7a8{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8{padding-top: 2px;padding-bottom: 2px;padding-left: 2px;padding-right: 2px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #ebebeb;;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap {justify-content: center;align-items: center;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap .wp-block-button{width: auto;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-button.is-style-outline .uagb-button__wrapper .wp-block-button__link.uagb-buttons-repeater{border-style: none;border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link{border-style: none;border-color: #333;}}\";s:2:\"js\";s:161:\"document.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\", function(){ window.addEventListener( 'load', function() {\n\tUAGBButtonChild.init( '.uagb-block-00708611' );\n});\n });\";s:18:\"current_block_list\";a:17:{i:0;s:14:\"uagb\/container\";i:1;s:12:\"core\/heading\";i:2;s:9:\"core\/html\";i:3;s:10:\"core\/group\";i:6;s:21:\"uagb\/advanced-heading\";i:7;s:14:\"uagb\/separator\";i:8;s:14:\"uagb\/icon-list\";i:9;s:20:\"uagb\/icon-list-child\";i:10;s:11:\"core\/search\";i:13;s:18:\"core\/legacy-widget\";i:16;s:10:\"uagb\/image\";i:17;s:17:\"core\/social-links\";i:18;s:16:\"core\/social-link\";i:19;s:14:\"core\/paragraph\";i:20;s:30:\"meta-box\/fl-conditional-blocks\";i:21;s:12:\"uagb\/buttons\";i:22;s:18:\"uagb\/buttons-child\";}s:8:\"uag_flag\";b:1;s:11:\"uag_version\";i:1776535419;s:6:\"gfonts\";a:1:{s:7:\"Default\";a:2:{s:10:\"fontfamily\";s:7:\"Default\";s:12:\"fontvariants\";a:0:{}}}s:10:\"gfonts_url\";s:71:\"\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\/css?family=Default&subset=latin&display=fallback\";s:12:\"gfonts_files\";a:0:{}s:14:\"uag_faq_layout\";b:0;}"]},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg",1024,1024,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Margaret","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coylefamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"You want personal growth. And transformation that sticks. But how do we shed unhealthy habits and past hurts? Learn to make change last with Debra Fileta.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<ul>\n<li>Help make YOUR mark: Your donation supports crucial resources for families and includes a special FamilyLife Pen and Brant Hansen's book, \"\"Unoffendable\"\"\u2014<a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/august-2024\/urgent-need\/?cru_source=FLTD24&amp;cru_medium=Icare&amp;cru_campaign=August2024\">join us today!<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Connect with Debra Fileta and catch more of their thoughts at <a href=\"https:\/\/debrafileta.com\/\">debrafileta.com<\/a>, and on Insta <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/DebraFileta\/\">@debrafileta<\/a> and catch other episodes on <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?s=debra+fileta\">FamilyLife Today<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>And grab her book, \"<a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/reset-powerful-habits-to-own-your-thoughts-understand-your-feelings-and-change-your-life\/\">Reset: Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts, Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life<\/a>,\" in our shop!<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/group-studies\/companion-workbooks\/\">Explore FamilyLife's diverse selection of workbooks<\/a>, including the new Art of Marriage\u2014perfect for small groups, marriage events, and personal growth journeys!<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-08-05.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>How to Change\u2026and Make It Stick!<\/p>\n<p>Guest:Debra Fileta<\/p>\n<p>From the series:Reset: Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts,<\/p>\n<p>Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life (Day 1 of 3)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:August 5, 2024<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Hey, before we get started today, let's talk small groups.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, because everyone at this time of year starts thinking, \u201cWhat small group material should I use?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, we've led hundreds of groups; and you have got to have great material. FamilyLife\u00ae has you covered. We have great, great material: the Art of Marriage\u00ae, Vertical Marriage\u00ae\u2014you name it, we\u2019ve got it\u2014and it's on sale the month of August. Go to FamilyLife.com\/shop, and it's 25 percent off.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And let me just say, \u201cThank you,\u201d\u2014to all the small group leaders\u2014\"You are making a difference; keep going!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Again, that\u2019s FamilyLife.com\/shop and get 25 percent off right now.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: We have all these behaviors we want to change; we have all these places where we say we're stuck. But then, what we're just doing is putting Band-Aids\u00ae on the peripheral. We're doing external work without doing internal healing. And guess what? That doesn't take you very far.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I would guess every person who has ever lived has asked this question\u2014do you know what question it is?\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: No.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\u201cHow can I change? I want to change my life,\u201d or \u201cI want to change this area of my life. I want to stop doing\u2026\u201d \u201cI want to start doing\u2026\u201d At some point, I think<\/p>\n<p>100 percent of us have asked that question [concerning]: \u201cI want to change.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Does the narcissist think it? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I hope you're not saying I'm a narcissist.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: No, I'm not saying you at all. [Laughter] But I think you're right\u2014I don't know if it's 100 percent\u2014but most of us, at least.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You\u2019re supposed to agree with me;\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Sorry. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014I\u2019m your partner. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Sorry; but we do think, \u201cOh, I'm so frustrated. I want to change this, but I can't get out of it.\u201d So I think that this is definitely an area that we want to change.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, the good news is: today we're going to find out how we change. We've got the woman in the studio. Don't you think Debra is the person?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Debra Fileta is with us; and Debra, we love you. I love you!<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I love you, too!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I feel like what you're writing\/what you're doing is resonating with so many people. As we've had you on before, everything that you're talking about and writing is what we need to hear, especially today; because you're really getting into these areas that we need healing in.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes, we're going into deep territory. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Debra: But we're going to make it easy.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, this is what you do: you're a counselor; you\u2019re a podcaster; you\u2019re a speaker; you're an author; you're a home school mom of four kids. Seriously, how do you do all of what you do?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I pace myself; I don't do it all at the same time\u2014try to set a lot of boundaries\u2014I honestly have to work to practice what I preach. Can you imagine if I was living unhealthy behind the scenes and trying to get people healthy?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think a lot of people do that, but you don't; you have a lot of character. I think it\u2019s the same when we do so many marriage conversation, and conferences, and speaking\u2014it changes us\u2014you have to walk it.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: You do.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We're going to talk a little bit about Reset, your book. I'm guessing that title\u2014I'd love to know how you even came up with that title\u2014but the subtitle is: Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts, Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life. So there it is: Change Your Life. I'm picking this book up.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Seriously, if I'm in an airport bookstore, and I see this, I'm going to be [thinking], \u201cI need to reset.\u201d Is that what the whole idea of the title was: \u201cIt's time to reset\u201d?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes, absolutely: \u201cHit the reset button. It's time to do things differently and to do them better.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It's funny: I would say it kind of started with this story of my car in college. I had this lemon of a car.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I laughed out loud when I read this story.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014Me, too! [Laughter] I did, too, when we read it. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014It was like, \u201cI had no idea.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: It was a Jetta, a Volkswagen Jetta; it was green. I gave her a name\u2014I loved this car\u2014my first car when I turned 16. But then, I take it to college; and things start going crazy. The car starts breaking down on me: the windows rolled down suddenly; the alarm would just start to blare; or the windshield wipers would just go on a sunny day. It was\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It was like a possessed car.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014it was a lemon. [Laughter] It was possessed.<\/p>\n<p>And one day before finals, I'm running out to my car. I'm kind of late. I'm putting in the key, and I pull out the key; and the whole entire lock cylinder comes out. [Laughter] I'm holding it on my key, [wondering], \u201cWhat am I going to do with this?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is when I laughed. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Debra: The windows roll down; the alarm starts to blare, and I'm [thinking], \u201cI have got to get to my final.\u201d [Laughter] I just jump in the car. It's really cold outside, because it's winter. I'm, literally, driving in a winter coat with the windows rolled down and the alarm blaring\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: In Pennsylvania?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014in Virginia. The alarm is blaring, [Laughter] and I drive to my final; I'm [thinking], \u201cWhat am I going to do here?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But think about that hot mess and how many times we feel like a hot mess in life. How many people, listening, have gotten to that point? Some of us are a little bit more<\/p>\n<p>Type A, and we shove it all inside; and we're a hot mess on the inside. But a lot of us are a hot mess on the outside\u2014you just see it\u2014and you're [wondering], \u201cWhat do I do with this?\u201d Well, we try to fix the hot mess exterior: I could have muffled the alarm; I could have taped the windows with duct tape [or] pulled off the windshield wipers\u2014just done the external work to get the car to a better place.<\/p>\n<p>But you didn't actually fix it: unless you go under the hood; unless you see what's going on underneath the surface of your life. That's truly the whole point of Reset: we have all these behaviors we want to change; we have all these places where we say we're stuck. But then, what we're just doing is putting Band-Aids on the peripheral. We're doing the external work without doing internal healing. And guess what? That doesn't take you very far.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s good.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: What was wrong with the car? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Well, I have this friend of mine, this guy. When you bring a guy in [Laughter]\u2014and it\u2019s someone who you have interest in\u2014you just let them do whatever.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Oh, but he\u2019s not a mechanic, you're saying?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: He\u2019s not a mechanic! \u201cWhat am I doing?\u201d [Laughter] I let this guy work on my car; he put in a stereo and crossed the wires.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Oh.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: So there were all kinds of wires crossed underneath the surface there.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Ooh, and that's a great metaphor, too.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes; people come into our life\u2014like that guy who doesn't know what he's doing\u2014and they cross our wires. Trauma can often begin to become our template that we live out of instead of truth.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Did you have any in your life?\u2014that you had some wires crossed and you thought,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Oh, look! I like it! Ann\u2019s being your counselor.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I know; now, you\u2019re being my counselor. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Here we go; let's go!<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Oh, I'm not used to this.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: She does this to me all the time. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Debra: The tables have turned.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: You've done this with us a lot.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I know; it's like payback time.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I know; yes.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Definitely\u2014because nobody goes through life uninterrupted on your journey with God\u2014nobody. The enemy is constantly trying to come in and cross our wires, using very traumatic experiences\u2014big \u201cT\u201d Trauma, but also little \u201ct\u201d trauma\u2014beliefs that you hold onto without even realizing it.<\/p>\n<p>I grew up\u2014my grandfather was an evangelist, an incredible man of God\u2014worked really hard: traveled Egypt, sharing the gospel in a Muslim country.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Wow!<\/p>\n<p>Debra: So my dad is very gospel-focused; but also, a hard worker. My parents were immigrants; they came to the United States. And you know what they did when they came?\u2014they worked really hard because they had to. But watching that, as a child, you start to download messages that weren't intended to be there. The message was: \u201cIf you work really hard, you will be loved; you will succeed. You have to work really hard for God.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Do you see how those subtle things can cause our wires to get crossed? And all of a sudden now, I'm\u2014an eight-, nine-, ten-year-old\u2014 who thinks so much of my value comes from what I do\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014your performance.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014my performance, working really hard.<\/p>\n<p>And guess what? Eventually, in grad school, I hit a place of burnout\u2014depression; waking up, struggling; unmotivated\u2014not realizing my crossed wires underneath the surface. If I'm frank, some of it was chemical-crossed wires from hormones and changes in hormones underneath the surface. I think that's legitimate\u2014and we have to understand that part of it, too\u2014but also crossed wires in my belief systems.<\/p>\n<p>When you put them all together\u2014what's going on inside of your body; what's going on outside of you\u2014and you put them all together, you can find yourself stuck.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And then, what happens is that affects every other area of your life. If you never look into that, it affects your marriage; it affects the way you parent.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Exactly.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It affects everything. That's why I love that you're passionate about this, because you're wanting to fix the crossed wires\u2014or I should say\u2014\u201cJesus can help us fix those crossed wires to bring healing, and that healing can go into every area of our lives.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes, absolutely. I think the problem in our world\u2014and even in our churches\u2014we often talk about the exterior more than the interior:<\/p>\n<p>[\u201cChurch\u201d]: \u201cBreak free from sin,\u201d \u201cStop looking at porn.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>[Member]: \u201cOkay, but how? How do I do that if I'm so drawn to it?\u201d You're drawn to it, because of your internal trauma: your inability to regulate your emotions.<\/p>\n<p>[\u201cChurch\u201d]: \u201cStop smoking,\u201d \u201cStop getting drunk,\u201d \u201cStop getting angry at your children,\u201d \u201cStop eating so much.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>[Member]: \u201cOkay, but how?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This is why these conversations are so important, because so many Christians are stuck\u2014they have Jesus; they are filled with the Spirit of God\u2014but they have never learned how to allow the Spirit of God to bring healing into their inner world. That's where transformation begins.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Oh, you just hit all those hot topics. Everybody's [thinking], \u201cOoh, you hit me in one of those.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You start out with this whole pause idea; talk about that.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I would say the first chapter\u2014so Reset is 31 small bite-sized chapters\u2014you probably noticed: they're two to three pages.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: But it's kind of annoying, I think, that you open the book\u2014you're ready; the introduction kind of pumps you up: \u201cIt's time to change,\u201d \u201cIt's time to heal,\u201d\u2014and then, Chapter One is:\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\"Pause.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014[speaking slowly] \u201cPause.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cLet\u2019s stop for a moment.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: [Reader\u2019s thinking], \u201dWait a second; I\u2019m ready to go!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \"I\u2019m in the car; let\u2019s drive!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u201cYes, let\u2019s do this!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes; why did you start there?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Well, because this is a book that is going to establish habits that help you heal, not just quick fixes: \u201cSo let's actually look at our life and find out: \u2018Do I have the space to heal?\u2019 \u2018Do I have the bandwidth to heal?\u2019 Because if you don't have the space to do the work, then how do you expect anything to change?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We live in such a noise-saturated world; we don't actually have time to sit and think. This is why counseling is so beneficial: for some people, it's the first time they've ever given themselves an hour to process\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014what's going on in their inner world. Think about that: if you don't have time to stop and hear what God is saying to you\u2014and not only that\u2014you might think you want to change something; and then you meet with God, and He's [saying], \u201cNo, I want you to start [here] first; there's something I'm doing that's different than that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: You can relate to that, as a mom with four. I think about moms\u2014who are working; they're homeschooling, maybe; they've got four, two\/however many kids\u2014you feel like you don't have time for anything for yourself, let alone going into this inner-healing kind of idea or reset.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes, absolutely.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So should they wait?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Well, we can make excuses. I'm a mom of four, but my priority needs to be my health; because if I am not healthy, I am parenting out of that place. You do better by making yourself a priority in the sense of: \u201cI need to be healthy. I need to be healed so that I don't parent out of that place [of unhealth].\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It's interesting: I was studying your book this week. Before we came in this morning, I picked it up; and I don't know why I ended up on this page.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It's just what you're saying\u2014it's actually Chapter 30, and I read this this morning\u2014\u201cThere's something I need you to hear: sometimes, we do more to feel less.\u201d And I [thought], \u201cThis is my life\u201d; [Laughter] I really did.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That's right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You know; you've had us on [your podcast]\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Debra: That\u2019s a good line, Dave.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014and you were like put me on the couch, and said, \u201cHey, Dave, let's talk about your trauma,\u201d\u2014but sometimes,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s what our counselor friend told you.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014we do more to feel less.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You even talk in this chapter about distractions and cell phones, and how much we're distracted; and we're not focused. Guess what? I don't think, in my entire adult life, since the cell phone has been a part of my life, I've gone a day without a cell phone.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Right, absolutely.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I drove in today and I forgot my cell phone! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Today, literally?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I was [wondering],\u201d\u2018Where\u2019s my phone?\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014today; this morning.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\u201cWhere\u2019s my phone?\u201d \u201cWhere\u2019s my phone?\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Debra: This is prophetic.<\/p>\n<p>21062952228151500Dave: \u2014\"Oh, my goodness! It's back in the house.\u201d And I'm like, \u201cI can't function without my phone; we have got to go back.\u201d I'm [thinking],\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: But you\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\u201cI\u2019m going to do a day without a phone.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I was kind of amazed\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Wow!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014that he didn't turn around. I thought, \u201cOh, we're going to turn around.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I'm so impressed.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I know!<\/p>\n<p>Debra: And I feel like this goes so well with this idea:\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes; that\u2019s why I brought it up!<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014\u201cWhat does it look like to stop and pause for a moment, and be more in tune to your inner world?\u201d\u2014because we do [keep busy]. Why are we so busy?\u2014oftentimes, we want to be busy because, the second we stop, we feel things that we don't want to feel.<\/p>\n<p>But what we're not realizing is those feelings are not a punishment; those feelings are a signal. God is saying, \u201cPay attention to what you feel and respond to it.\u201d It's like: \u201cWarning!\u201d \u201cWarning!\u201d \u201cWarning!\u201d\u2014that's what the feeling is.<\/p>\n<p>If we don't ever quiet ourselves to feel the feelings\u2014and then, underneath that, to get to the root of some of those thoughts\u2014the formula I want you to keep in your mind:<\/p>\n<p>If the question is: \u201cHow do I change? How do I get unstuck?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Here's the answer\u2014one sentence\u2014\u201cRealize that your thoughts lead to your feelings, and your feelings lead to your behavior.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If there's a behavior you want to change, you back up and you start to isolate:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhen do I feel that feeling?\u201d \u201cWhat feeling is it that causes me to do that behavior?\u201d\u2014\"When I'm stressed, I go to the fridge; I go to the pantry.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Then back up a little: \u201cWhat causes me to be stressed?\u201d It's a belief; it's a thought that: \u201cThis is too much,\u201d \u201cI can't do this; I'm overwhelmed,\u201d \u201cI'm not enough; I'm not good enough for this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If you don't isolate those thoughts\u2014and begin unpacking them, and aligning them with the template of truth versus the template of trauma\u2014you're going to continue to feel stuck.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think every listener, right now, should just take a minute and pause right now,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\"Pause.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014and consider: \u201cWhat is the area\u201d\u2014I feel like it's a hiding place\u2014\"Where do you go to hide?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Mine tends to be food. When I get stressed, I go straight to the refrigerator. I think we all have our little areas that we go to. \u201cSo what is yours?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Could resentment be one? Do we get stuck on a person, who maybe,\u2014do you think that could happen?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I would say resentment is the feeling: \u201cI feel resentful.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Okay; that makes sense.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u201cAnd then, what do you do when you feel resentful?\u2014do you withdraw and isolate?\u201d That would be the behavior: \u201cI'm going to just be done; I'm done. I'm going to go to my room,\u201d \u201cI'm going to walk out of this house. I'm going to hop in the car and drive around, and who knows when I'm going to come back; because I feel resentful.\u201d The behavior would be isolation and withdrawal.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: When you were saying that, Debra, I was thinking, \u201cOne of the things I do is I do activity:\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Debra: You just do more.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cI just run: I go play a game; I go workout; I go ride the motorcycle\u2014whatever. It's just like, \u2018I'm going to go do something,\u2019\u2014usually, productive stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When I sat down with a counselor a few years ago\u2014I was going through a hard time in our vocational life: leaving our church\u2014it didn't go as easy as I thought and pretty messy. He said to me, at the end of our first session: \u201cThis is your homework assignment\u2014answer this question\u2014\u2018What are you running from?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I, literally, laughed out loud. I [asked], \u201cWhat do you mean: \u2018What am I running from?\u2019\u201d He said, \u201cYou don't see this?\u201d I [said], \u201cSee what?\u201d He said\u2014he's got my whole life on the board\u2014\u201cLook at your life. You're so busy, because you're running.\u2019\u201d I said to him\u2014Debra, you\u2019ll love this\u2014I [said], \u201cWell, you're the counselor\u2014you know\u2014just tell me.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u201cYou tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I knew he knew.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: He [said], \u201cNo, you have to find this out.\u201d I came home and told Ann, because she was waiting at the door: \u201cHow did it go?! How did it go?!\u201d I [said], \u201cHe wants me to figure out: \u2018What am I running from?\u2019\u201d She's like, \u201dDuh! I've been trying to tell you this for\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I didn't say, \u201cDuh,\u201d though. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, it was just that we've had this conversation for decades,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014and it was what you're [Debra] saying: it was: \u201cI don't want to pause; I want to do more to feel less. I don't have to feel the feelings. I'll just keep getting productive; and people will [say],\u2019Hey! [clap, clap] Way to go!\u2019 And I don't have to go to that dark place, where I [think], \u2018Okay; I'm not dealing with this trauma.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Today's not about me; but I think a lot of people can relate to what I do. They may do something different\u2014but they're running from that feeling that leads them back to that thought.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: And that's why it can be tricky to figure this stuff out, because some of the out-working doesn't look bad.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right, right.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: It doesn't look toxic.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It looks successful.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: It looks successful: you're a workaholic; you have massive ministry, and you're running on all cylinders\u2014\u201cBut what's going on inside?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And people applaud it.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes; people applaud it; they don't know what's going on inside.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I think the key here is: \u201cWhat is this rooted in?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u201cWhat is this rooted in?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: How do you get to the root?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Well, wait, wait! That's going too far. I want to hear the beginning. First step: give us the first step, right now. You already said it. Repeat it again so that we can think, \u201cOkay, here's what I'm going to do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: The formula is:\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave and Ann: \u2014\"Thoughts\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014\u201cThoughts \u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\"lead to feelings,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014\"lead to feelings,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\"lead to behavior.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014\"which then lead to your behaviors.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u201cSo what is the underlying feeling? And then, what\u2019s the thought that\u2019s before that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>For you, for example,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Here we go; I knew we were going to get to counseling me. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I know, right? You're the easy one, though, Dave\u2014you are courageous; you are direct\u2014\u201cWhat is the feeling that you're uncomfortable with feeling?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cI want to be valuable.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: So you're feeling\u2014you're not feeling valued\u2014you're feeling\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cNot seen.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014unworthy; unseen.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cNot productive, and I know I can go do things I'm good at.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: So let's say Ann says something like, \u201cDave, why didn't you do this when you were supposed to do it?\u201d All of a sudden\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cWhy didn't you squeeze the water out of the sponge this morning?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, she said that this morning. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Debra: And all of a sudden, you're [thinking], \u201cI feel unvaluable and unseen.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I said, \u201cLet\u2019s go work.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u201cI feel unappreciated\u201d; and then you tell her, \u201cWell, here's why I did it\u2026\u201d Then, instead of really coming to her, and saying, \u201cHey, I'm starting to feel these feelings; I could use some appreciation\/some validation. Some of this stuff may be coming from my past.\u201d Sitting down and having that conversation would lead to deeper intimacy.<\/p>\n<p>But then, it's like, \u201cYou know what? I won't do it again, Ann. [Laughter] Thanks for mentioning it. I'm out; I'm going to go bike a couple miles\u201d; right? It's like the underlying feeling was not comfortable. And then if we back up, what's the thought that was there?\u2014\u201cI'm not good enough; I'll never be good enough.\u201d Where does that come from?\u2014that comes from trauma!<\/p>\n<p>Now, a three-mile bike ride, in and of itself; there's nothing wrong with that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: But you see\u2014and I hope people, who are listening, start to see\u2014\u201cWait a second; I can actually do good things out of an unhealthy place.\u201d What's the problem with that?\u2014the problem is that you will eventually break. You will not be able to do these good things for a long time. If they're rooted in unhealthy things, you\u2019re not going to be able to sustain that pace.<\/p>\n<p>That's why pastors of gigantic successful churches\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I was just going to ask that.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: \u2014burn out, break down, moral failure. That's why people, up and leave, with what you thought was a happy marriage on the outside. That's why things happen, and people finally break; because external behavior is not going to sustain you if it's not rooted in the internal.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: How do you convince\u2014I'm thinking there are guys who; and maybe, women think the same way\u2014but I know, for me, I grew up as an athlete in locker rooms, where they just tell you, \u201dTough it out,\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Debra: I know: \u201cPush through.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\u201cSuck it up.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Debra: The military\u2014I have a lot of vets who come in\u2014here\u2019s the thing: you don't have to convince them\u2014life will; that's the unfortunate part. You will get to a point, where you break down; and then, you've got a face: \u201cHow do I prevent this from happening? How do I get healthy so that I can move forward into a healthy place?\u201d Some people might feel convicted right away, and say, \u201cI want to heal.\u201d But other people: they're sign\/their signal has to get so loud that they break.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Because we're dealing with this\u2014we're coming off of a really busy ministry season\u2014the thing that's happened, now that our kids are gone, is that Dave grabs me to go with him on all of these things. [Laughter] I told him I feel like he's running as fast as he can; and I have a hold of his belt loop, and my feet are off the ground, as he's pulling me alongside.<\/p>\n<p>See, we\u2019ll have to talk to Debra at lunch about: \u201cHow we get off of that cycle?\u201d\u2014because I don\u2019t know what that looks like. Do you know what I mean?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, and I just wonder if we should talk on air; because I bet you there are people feeling the same way\u2014in either backwards or\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014that may be\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014one of the spouses is running harder, maybe even parenting in a different way, and the other feels like, \u201cI'm not with you on this, and I'm feeling dragged.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014or \u201cI can't keep up with you at this pace.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Can you talk about that tomorrow?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: Yes, let's do it; let's do it! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You're smiling, like, \u201cI\u2019ve got a lot to tell you.\u201d [Laughter] Is that what you were thinking?<\/p>\n<p>Debra: No; I just love how willing the two of you always are to [say], \u201cOkay, let's figure this out on air; let's just do it.\u201d [Laughter] I had you guys on air on my podcast recently for a full-blown counseling session, so I think this is going to be Part Two.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I like it.<\/p>\n<p>Debra: We\u2019re going to dig in a little bit deeper.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I like it.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Okay.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Wow! Okay; I'm looking forward to tomorrow, [when] we get to hear more from both the Wilsons and Debra Fileta; so make sure you join us then. I know you're looking forward to it as much as I am.<\/p>\n<p>In the meantime, I'm Shelby Abbott; and you've been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with\u2014yes, that's right\u2014Debra Fileta, on FamilyLife Today. Debra's written a book called Reset: Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts, Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life. Sound like something you want to pick up? It sounds like something I'd love to read. You can get your copy, right now, by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com in the show notes. Or you could feel free to give us a call at 800-358-6329; again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And as you're getting ready for small groups coming up in the fall\u2014I know it's kind of hard to think about that, being that it is August\u2014but the fall is just around the corner. We wanted to let you know that all of our FamilyLife workbooks are 25 percent off this month. You can go to the show notes at FamilyLifeToday.com to look around and pick out what will be best for you; because all our workbooks, again, are 25 percent off during this month.<\/p>\n<p>Now, coming up tomorrow, Debra Fileta is back to talk about the necessity of ongoing support\u2014practical steps and community engagement\u2014in order to see lasting change. That's tomorrow; we hope you'll join us. On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/285078","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=285078"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280865"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=285078"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=285078"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=285078"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=285078"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=285078"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=285078"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}