{"id":284919,"date":"2024-08-02T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-08-02T11:04:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/back-to-school-anxiety-david-meg-robbins\/"},"modified":"2025-06-10T17:00:28","modified_gmt":"2025-06-10T21:00:28","slug":"back-to-school-anxiety-david-meg-robbins","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/back-to-school-anxiety-david-meg-robbins\/","title":{"rendered":"Back-to-School Anxiety? David &#038; Meg Robbins"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Back-to-school brings a mix of feelings for both parents and kids: relief, excitement, stress, and anxiety for what the future holds. Join David &#038; Meg Robbins for tips on back-to-school anxiety&#8211;and putting peace and confidence on your list this year!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Got back to school anxiety? Join David &#038; Meg Robbins for tips on calming your heart as a parent.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280865,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/ced83978-9af9-44f9-92ba-b1b50147d637\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:30:44","filesize":"28.17M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2024-08-02 08:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2855,2870],"tags":[2727],"podcast_series":[8782],"cwp_profile":[3576],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-284919","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-teens","category-tweens","tag-back-to-school-anxiety","podcast_series-help-for-anxiety-in-parenting-david-meg-robbins","cwp_profile-david-and-meg-robbins","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/284919\/back-to-school-anxiety-david-meg-robbins","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/284919\/back-to-school-anxiety-david-meg-robbins","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"NaQdpT8B9D\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/back-to-school-anxiety-david-meg-robbins\/\">Back-to-School Anxiety? David &#038; Meg Robbins<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/back-to-school-anxiety-david-meg-robbins\/embed\/#?secret=NaQdpT8B9D\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Back-to-School Anxiety? David &#038; Meg Robbins&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"NaQdpT8B9D\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["ced83978-9af9-44f9-92ba-b1b50147d637"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/ced83978-9af9-44f9-92ba-b1b50147d637\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:30:44"],"filesize":["28.17M"],"_thumbnail_id":["280865"],"show_notes":["<ul>\n<li>Help make YOUR mark: Your donation supports crucial resources for families and includes a special FamilyLife Pen and Brant Hansen's book, \"Unoffendable\"\u2014<a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/august-2024\/urgent-need\/?cru_source=24EGPC&amp;cru_medium=podcast&amp;cru_campaign=August2024\">join us today!<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Enjoyed this episode with David &amp; Meg Robbins? Listen to more episodes <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/guest\/david-and-meg-robbins\/\">here<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Pick up your copy of <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/no-perfect-parents-2\/\">\"No Perfect Parents\"<\/a> by Dave and Ann Wilson at our shop.<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n"],"transcript_content":["<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Back-to-School Anxiety?<\/p>\n<p>Guests:Dave and Meg Robbins<\/p>\n<p>From the series:Help for Anxiety in Parenting (Day 2 of 2)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:August 2, 2024<\/p>\n<p>Ann: You know what I want to do? I want to make a mark. I want to make a difference in lives, in marriages with the gospel. Don\u2019t you feel that [way]?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s one of the things I love about you. I knew that when we were dating. You were mission focused. So was I, and we still are. What a dream to be a part of FamilyLife who wants to make a mark, as well. We want to do that with you, our partners.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the challenge: We\u2019ve got a financial goal of raising 250,000 dollars in the month of August.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We really need you. You are making a mark. Will you help us leave a mark on our society, on our world, on our globe for the gospel?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, jump in with us at any level you want. But you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and make a donation. I\u2019m telling you, you become our partners, we make a mark together, and guess what, because you\u2019re making a mark, we\u2019re going to send you a limited-edition pen because pens make marks. We\u2019re going to send that to you. We\u2019ll even send you Brant Hansen\u2019s book, Unoffendable. Let me tell you, it\u2019s a phenomenal book. You\u2019re going to love it.<\/p>\n<p>More important than any of that stuff is join us. Let\u2019s be partners.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Let\u2019s change the world; let\u2019s make a mark.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014together.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We can do it together with your gift of any financial size. We\u2019d love to do this together with you. Let\u2019s change the world.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Go to FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: When I look back at things that they\u2019ve weathered already, as much as I hate when they experience pain and I want to fix it for them, I know that is the thing that shapes them. God uses the hard, painful things to show them who He is, to show them who they are, and who He made them to be, if they will look for that.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>We have David and Meg Robbins back in the studio. Welcome back, guys.<\/p>\n<p>David: It\u2019s good to be back.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We love having you. This is going to be a great topic today because we\u2019re talking about school starting.<\/p>\n<p>David: We\u2019re back for a back-to-school [program]. We need to talk about the parent side of this, right?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014the anxiety and stress that parents feel. Now you\u2019re back to packing lunches possibly, and now you\u2019re hearing all the drama that\u2019s going on.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: That\u2019s true.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Now there\u2019s all the homework happening.<\/p>\n<p>David: You are laying it on, and you are right. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Meg: \u2014and all the activities. I think we barely mentioned this yesterday but how much is going on [that] the kids can be a part of. In some ways, it\u2019s great but in some ways, it\u2019s hard to draw limits and lines and keep your own family time sacred and even present at all.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, it\u2019s a lot. There is a lot of anxiety that comes with the start of school for sure.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Take us into the Robbins home. Honestly, do you guys feel anxiety. You\u2019ve got two\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Meg: One in elementary\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Okay.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: \u2014third grade. Then we have a ninth grader entering high school and an eleventh grader.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Talk about the stress.<\/p>\n<p>David: I think the main thing, especially in this season is just all the orchestration to pull off getting then into school. In that first month, the layers of preparation and supplies and this time we\u2019re adding the college mix into that.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: I have to say that if you\u2019re asking if we\u2019re feeling anxiety, I can be super honest and say, certainly, because the other kids are walking a path that we have been before. We\u2019ve had kids start high school. We\u2019ve had kids go into third grade. Each one carries their own unique challenges, so you feel things around that for sure. But sending your kid off to college, this is a whole new thing for us. I\u2019m feeling all of the feels.<\/p>\n<p>David: It\u2019s a lot the same and a lot different as sending your kid to kindergarten. Some of you are sending your kid to pre-K and kindergarten for the first time.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>David: The anxiety for me starts coming out in unhealthy ways when I just start functioning and getting it all done, because that\u2019s what has to happen in some ways. Logistically I say, \u201cAlright, let\u2019s make it all happen.\u201d I start ignoring myself and then that ends detaching Meg and me and that ends up with me just functioning with the kids and making sure it all happens.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: You become very task oriented?<\/p>\n<p>David: Even though I\u2019m people [oriented] to the core, I become task [oriented] because it\u2019s so much in this unique back-to-school season.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: We want to end well. We want to get in all the things and do all the things but let him have the space and freedom to do that with his friends and people in his life. Yet, our kids have our own grief process of watching their brother leave.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Talk about that because I remember our oldest is C.J. and he\u2019s married now, but when he was going into college\u2014you just said a couple of things we did\u2014one was his senior year we said, \u201cYou want to go out for burger tonight. You want to go out tomorrow night?\u201d because we felt like \u201cThe window\u2019s closing; we\u2019ve got to grab every moment,\u201d so we were trying to seize those moments.<\/p>\n<p>But then when we got him to school, I\u2019ll never forget driving away and looking in the rearview mirror and seeing him stand there. We were bawling our eyes out, overwhelmed by \u201cOur oldest is leaving.\u201d Again, it was everything we prepared for; this what we want to do.<\/p>\n<p>David: This is what we want.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: We are launching.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: But the fear and anxiety in my soul was the Christian-walk part of \u201cWe poured into him; we prayed over him; we\u2019ve cast a vision for him to be a man of God. Now he\u2019s on a campus\u2014\u201d \u2014this was a public, secular school where\u2014 \u201c\u2014I know what I did when I got there; it was not good. I took my freedom to bad places.\u201d We were driving away thinking, \u201cWill he make good choices?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Talk about that kind of stress. Maybe you don\u2019t have that, but we surely did.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: For sure. I think sometimes there are seasons of parenting where you can have this illusion of control, especially when they\u2019re younger. [Laughter] You don\u2019t have any control but for some reason we feel like\u2014you are making some decisions like \u201cWhen is everybody going to bed?\u201d and those kinds of things, or at least in theory.<\/p>\n<p>But I think you hit this stage, this point in your oldest\u2019s life where \u201cNo, we don\u2019t have any control. We really never did.\u201d But it\u2019s this moment of deep, deep surrender and \u201cDo I trust you, Lord, in whatever story You are writing in his life and the choices that he makes some of them, probably many of them, I will have no idea what exactly what is going on?\u201d Even that reality coming to terms with \u201cI\u2019m not going to know what he\u2019s doing most of the time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>David: I think that same principle is the principle that applies no matter what age your child is. If you have a pre-Ker all the way to this release point that is a little more tangible, they\u2019re all surrender, release points. Cissy Goff talked about anxiety. She said, \u201cAnxiety is always an overestimation of the problem and an underestimation of ourselves,\u201d or for kids, themselves. But let\u2019s talk about parents here.<\/p>\n<p>There are holy moments in back to school [season] where you can actively on the way and especially after drop off or as you send people out the door, whatever stage you are in, you get to surrender every day, your kids. You get to intercede for them every day. You get the opportunity to get honest about your own stuff that\u2019s surfacing for you.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s nothing like the most intimate relationship in your life to sometimes\u2014what was the quote we heard this weekend of \u201cI feel like God gave us teenagers in order to know what it feels like to have something created in your image that rejects you.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>That affects us and that affects our identity. But we end up underestimating our identity in Christ. Seven words in Colossians that really can change the game every single day if we live them out: \u201cChrist in us the hope of glory.\u201d [Colossians 1:27, Paraphrased]<\/p>\n<p>He didn\u2019t just forgive our sins and take them away. He forgives us when we get wrapped around and sin in our anxiety, but He put into us His Holy Spirit, His righteousness, divine resources for us to live this day, today, differently, [so] that we can surrender today and say, \u201cGod, they are yours and I am coming out sideways. Help me, Lord, with the way my anxiety is coming out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Because the scariest thing about anxiety in a parent\u2014I think it was Josh Straub who told us this from research\u2014the number one predictor, not the only predictor, but the number one predictor of how your kids will deal with anxiety is how their parents deal with stress and anxiety\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>David: \u2014which puts a mirror up close to my face.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Me, too, David. I remember dropping C.J. off, Dave, that first day. We dropped him off at this incredibly hard engineering school that he got into. He has ADD. So, I\u2019m also thinking of parents that are sending their kids off. Maybe there\u2019s some sort of learning challenge or a diagnosis that you are thinking, \u201cOh!\u201d But I also remember as we were crying going home, we also prayed for him and did as we did many nights: \u201cLord, we lay this boy at the altar. You love him more that we do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I think that\u2019s a great spot because I can\u2019t take the anxiety of it. It wrecks me. As you said, it comes out all different places so to say, \u201cLord, we just surrender them.\u201d As you said, David, whether they\u2019re in kindergarten, whether they have the hardest learning challenge and you are thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t know how they will survive, and we\u2019re worried about their self esteem and how they will manage.\u201d Isn\u2019t it reassuring to remember that we can drop them at the altar of God and He says, \u201cI\u2019ve got them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Meg: It\u2019s remembering how trustworthy our God is and that He loves our kids more than we do.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: That surrender is He already has them but there is something about letting them go again into His hands.<\/p>\n<p>David: Can I say though that these are words we say to ourselves, words we\u2019ve heard, words that get talked around this table a lot. It\u2019s another thing for me, as a dad, to stop and do it. It\u2019s one thing to know it. It\u2019s another thing to say, \u201cIn the bleachers today watching a game, a practice, I\u2019m going to release that kid all practice. Lord, I\u2019m going to go to practice with intentionality to pray over that kid the entire time. Lord, I release this about him to You; I surrender this,\u201d and then begin to take a listening posture and say, \u201cSo, how do You want me to participate in how you\u2019re shaping this kid?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what we get to do as parents. We do have a stewardship, and I know all those things, but again going back to how we started, I can just function, get to practice, talk to the parents, enjoy being on mission, talk to the kid about how the practice was. Sometimes, we have to live out release time, surrender time. That\u2019s an action I can do this afternoon as I go to practice.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s one thing to say the words. We know these words, and we do them in principle. It\u2019s another thing to do them today.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We prayed every day before school on the way to school. Honestly, I was praying for the kids, but I think it was more for me than anybody. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>David: That\u2019s so true.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I don\u2019t even know if they were listening as I was driving them to school on certain days. But just that habit of praying for them, that it\u2019s releasing them, because that first son who went to college, when he had a big exam coming up, you know what he would do? [He would say], \u201cHey, mom and Dad, I\u2019ve got this huge exam. Would you guys pray for me?\u201d Because that had become a pattern in our lives that when we\u2019re up against something hard and difficult or easy, but especially when we\u2019re really struggling, where do we go? We go to our Father who loves us.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: That reminds me of one of my favorite verses, Isaiah 26:3 [which says], \u201cYou keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Praying with our kids before school or before a tryout for something or all these new things or daily, that teaches them what it means to have our minds fixed on the Lord and trusting in Him. That is where peace comes from.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I want to know what your anxiety points are in your family because when I think back to when our kids were in school days, mine was money. I can remember nights, many nights, when they were in middle school and high school starting to think about \u201cHow do we pay for college?\u201d I would lay there thinking, \u201cOh, my goodness, college is going up and up and up.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I can say this looking back, that school that our oldest went to that we dropped him off at and cried, it was a coop, so it was an engineering school where you went to school three months [then] you went to a job, and they all had great jobs.<\/p>\n<p>My next son went to Moody. They covered the tuition. I thought, \u201cYou\u2019re the man!\u201d Then our third son got a football scholarship. It was like all that anxiety, all those sleepless nights\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Let me add this, too, because this is miraculous, but then that oldest son ended up transferring. He wanted to finish at a different university. It was a great decision for him. But again, we thought, \u201cOh, how are we going to afford this? Now he\u2019s living off campus.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, he wanted to live off campus. Again, I thought, \u201cHow much is that going to cost?\u201d [Laughter] We went up there and we were walking around this apartment building. A lot of students lived there. The owners of the apartment building walked into this room to show us\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: They looked at us and said, \u201cDave and Ann Wilson, what are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I said, \u201cOur son, C.J., wants to rent this.<\/p>\n<p>They said, \u201cWe\u2019ve been going to your church for 20 years.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I said, \u201cWhat do you mean? This is three hours from our home.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He said, \u201cThis is a rental property for us.\u201d Next thing you know they call us and said, \u201cWe\u2019re going to comp you son\u2019s rent.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Meg: No way!<\/p>\n<p>David: The Lord will provide in different ways.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: That\u2019s amazing.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I thought, \u201cGod, You are so good!\u201d Can you believe that. It was just for one year but what a gift.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Maybe you\u2019re not going to get that kind of [provision] but\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014God\u2019s got you. That\u2019s all we\u2019re trying to say to you as parents. I know the anxiety. It\u2019s real. There\u2019s a God that is walking right beside you.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: A huge anxiety point for me is the pain that our kids feel. When they\u2019re feeling something whether it\u2019s tension with their friends or feeling left out or coaching. Maybe I don\u2019t think the coach sees them for what they\u2019re trying to contribute or whatever it is. I feel those things so deeply, and sometimes it\u2019s worse than if it were happening to me.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: Probably more deeply than my kids sometimes. That\u2019s where I probably experience the most anxiety as a parent. I think that in some ways, God made us that way. He made us as moms for sure, maybe as dads, too, I guess, to feel at some level what they\u2019re feeling. It gives us empathy for them. It allows us to know how to pray for them and come alongside them. But I think that\u2019s where I have to constantly come back to \u201cOkay, Lord, help me remember that You are using this, and You are in this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When I look back at things that they weathered already, as much as I hate when they experience pain and I want to fix it for them, I know that is the thing that shapes them. God uses the hard, painful things to show them who He is, to show them who they are, and who He made them to be if they will look for that.<\/p>\n<p>David: It develops resilience that they\u2019re going to need.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: For sure.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: What\u2019s yours, David?<\/p>\n<p>David: Friendships were such a hard thing for me growing up. That is one area Meg kind of\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That I can hardly believe.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Me, either.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You are such a good friend. David: Let\u2019s just say I heard at one point, and I was grateful to hear it \u201cYou know, David, you don\u2019t want to ever peak in middle school. It doesn\u2019t work out good.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>I thought, \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m taking that one forward.\u201d I\u2019m glad I didn\u2019t peak in middle school. But I think one of the things that haunts me as they get a little older that does worry me [is] the parts I see ourselves in them and how our story is like we\u2019re untangling our own stories of why we were the way we were and the things we tried to lunge after to have our identity in that weren\u2019t Jesus.<\/p>\n<p>I think, \u201cOh man, that kid, they\u2019re so over involved, they\u2019re just like me. I passed that one down.\u201d \u201cOh, this kid, there\u2019s fear around people. Oh man!\u201d It can be easy to start seeing yourselves and your own wounds that you carried over. Sure, some of that probably is getting passed down but I\u2019m not going to enter in perfectly but how do I enter into some of their pain?<\/p>\n<p>Pain and fear are a real part of life and what we do with them ends up writing a lot of our stories and what ends up controlling us and our false beliefs of where we end up sinning and where we over function.<\/p>\n<p>When I see those faint glimpses so clearly in my kids lives there is a lot of burden and anxiety that heaps on. I can start heaping on in shame thinking, \u201cLord, I haven\u2019t processed for myself enough or what have I not processed with them. It\u2019s so obvious I passed this on to them.\u201d But I think, \u201cLord, help me; help me know the pace; help me know how to enter in.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But that really ties me up.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Mine is the fear of what they\u2019re being exposed to, not just the peer pressures, but also the cultural mindsets of the day: \u201cWill they cave in; will they be able to stand; will they\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Parents are facing that way more than what we faced. Every generation has its things that\u2014but then I\u2019d work myself into this [questioning], \u201cWhat if they\u2026?<\/p>\n<p>Have you guys done that? \u201cWell, what if they get in this relationship? What if they start partying?\u201d \u201cWhat if they\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>David: Sure.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: When I went to that place, for me, it didn\u2019t do any good. Zero. That\u2019s not something I struggled with when I was growing up. I think it\u2019s because my parents created this atmosphere in our home that was fun. I thought \u201cThis party feels so boring compared to\u2014I wonder what my family is doing?\u201d Because they created this great atmosphere of joy, love and really just fun.<\/p>\n<p>I think we forget how our homes can lure them back.<\/p>\n<p>David: That\u2019s good.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Make it a haven.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, make it a haven that \u201cMan, your home?\u201d I remember in high school when all their friends would come over and the kids would be over. I would say, \u201cWhat are you guys doing here? This is the best night ever.\u201d Then I\u2019d try not to be over-involved. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We\u2019re going to go upstairs now.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I\u2019d try to leave. But still, we think that the world is much more alluring than homes that love and care for people and see one another and see their friends.<\/p>\n<p>I remember the boys saying, \u201cI want my friends to come to our house because you see them. They always want to come to our house because you ask them questions that nobody\u2019s asking them, and you care who they are.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I thought, \u201cMan, that\u2019s such a great compliment.\u201d Our kids\u2019 friends and maybe our kids are struggling with their identity, with the things they are facing, and we can be a haven, we can be that light and a lighthouse in our corner of the world where we want our kids\u2019 friends to come and our kids to be there.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, I can just, as you tear up saying that, it makes me miss the stage you guys are in. As hectic and as anxious as it can feel, those were special days to have the boys and their friends sitting around our kitchen table\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014eating all the food in the house.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014eating all our food, drinking all our Cokes, and spending more of my money. They were precious days. Especially Ann had this vision of \u201cWe can parent them; we can impact them; we can speak life with them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cWe can love them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I think you did that well.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Thanks.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: We\u2019re going to hear more encouragement from everyone today to you if maybe you feel in this season that you\u2019re unseen. The Wilsons and the Robbinses want you to know that they see you. That\u2019s coming up in just a second.<\/p>\n<p>But first, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with David and Meg Robbins on FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>We want you to know that we are so grateful for you, especially if you are a partner with us here at FamilyLife Today. We want you to make your mark and be a part of FamilyLife\u2019s mission of impacting lives through Christian teaching and family support.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the month of August and our goal is to raise 250,000 dollars in new funds by the end of this month to support FamilyLife\u2019s initiatives and to reach our fiscal year end target. We do that because we partner with people just like you who want to make every home a godly home.<\/p>\n<p>If that\u2019s you and you want to hop in with us and join us and joyfully give to the mission of FamilyLife, you can do that by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com or look for our link in the show notes or you can feel free to give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329. Again, that number is \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life and them then word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Or feel free to drop your donation in the mail, if you\u2019d like. Our address is FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, Florida 32832.<\/p>\n<p>If you feel unseen in this back-to-school season, here\u2019s some specific encouragement just for you.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think at this time of the year you can feel alone, especially if you have special circumstances that you\u2019re dealing with as a parent or a family. We at FamilyLife want to give a special shout out to those of you who have kids with any kind of learning disabilities whether it is diagnosed or undiagnosed. \u201cWell done! We see you. You\u2019ve got this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Families with kids with disabilities, learning and physical disabilities, that\u2019s weighing on you and you\u2019re contemplating that thinking, \u201cMan, that is not easy,\u201d so \u201cWay to go! We\u2019re cheering for you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: How about the teachers? I coached at the high school for 12 years, so I was around a lot of you teachers. \u201cYou guys are heroes from kindergarten and first grade through middle school, I don\u2019t know how you do it; high school, God bless you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What a calling!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cWe celebrate you. Thank you for pouring into our kids.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Meg: Also, to moms out there and maybe dads, too, I know sometimes for me back to school can reinforce this feeling of being tempted to look at other people and compare and say, \u201cMan, things are so busy. I can\u2019t get it together. I\u2019m already behind. I\u2019m already putting junk in their lunch,\u201d or whatever.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Or \u201cLook how cute that kid\u2019s dressed up, and my daughter\u2019s wearing her pajamas to school.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Meg: \u201cIt\u2019s okay. You\u2019re not alone in your survival.\u201d I have to remind myself even for the more serious things where I feel like I\u2019m dropping the ball or feeling\u2026God\u2019s grace is for those moments, and He sees me and He\u2019s with me and He covers over all of those things.<\/p>\n<p>David: For you parents who are ready for your kids to go back to school and have got it all lined up or homeschool parents as you\u2019re preparing, maybe you are like us families in transition years, we have one going to college and one going to ninth grade, maybe some of you have a kindergartener for the first time, we at FamilyLife are praying for you. Let\u2019s pray right now.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s what I was going to say.<\/p>\n<p>David:<\/p>\n<p>Lord, thank You for the kids of those who are listening right not. Thank You that You know them and every hair on their heads. You created them in the womb exactly who they were meant to be, and Your story is being written on their lives. Thanks for the part we get to play as parents, God. Lift our eyes to You. Let us surrender fully and speak life into our kids as we navigate this overwhelming season. Amen.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Amen.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Amen.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Coming up next week, Debra Fileta is going to join Dave and Ann Wilson to talk about the power of introspection and eternal healing in order to see lasting change in our lives. That\u2019s next week. We hope you\u2019ll join us.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs? Copyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife<\/p>\n"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-08-02.pdf"],"_edit_lock":["1749590441:47000"],"_g_feedback_shortcode_a799caa6357e660d05a8c6ce0f9340c8387a032c":["\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Name\" type=\"name\"  required=\"true\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Email\" type=\"email\" required=\"true\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Website\" type=\"url\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Message\" type=\"textarea\" \/]"],"_g_feedback_shortcode_atts_a799caa6357e660d05a8c6ce0f9340c8387a032c":["a:17:{s:2:\"to\";s:29:\"margaret.coyle@familylife.com\";s:7:\"subject\";s:73:\"[FamilyLife - A Cru Ministry] Back-to-School Anxiety? 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back to school anxiety? Join David & Meg Robbins for tips on calming your heart as a parent.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<ul>\n<li>Help make YOUR mark: Your donation supports crucial resources for families and includes a special FamilyLife Pen and Brant Hansen's book, \"Unoffendable\"\u2014<a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/august-2024\/urgent-need\/?cru_source=24EGPC&amp;cru_medium=podcast&amp;cru_campaign=August2024\">join us today!<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Enjoyed this episode with David &amp; Meg Robbins? Listen to more episodes <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/guest\/david-and-meg-robbins\/\">here<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Pick up your copy of <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/no-perfect-parents-2\/\">\"No Perfect Parents\"<\/a> by Dave and Ann Wilson at our shop.<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-08-02.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Back-to-School Anxiety?<\/p>\n<p>Guests:Dave and Meg Robbins<\/p>\n<p>From the series:Help for Anxiety in Parenting (Day 2 of 2)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:August 2, 2024<\/p>\n<p>Ann: You know what I want to do? I want to make a mark. I want to make a difference in lives, in marriages with the gospel. Don\u2019t you feel that [way]?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s one of the things I love about you. I knew that when we were dating. You were mission focused. So was I, and we still are. What a dream to be a part of FamilyLife who wants to make a mark, as well. We want to do that with you, our partners.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the challenge: We\u2019ve got a financial goal of raising 250,000 dollars in the month of August.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We really need you. You are making a mark. Will you help us leave a mark on our society, on our world, on our globe for the gospel?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, jump in with us at any level you want. But you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and make a donation. I\u2019m telling you, you become our partners, we make a mark together, and guess what, because you\u2019re making a mark, we\u2019re going to send you a limited-edition pen because pens make marks. We\u2019re going to send that to you. We\u2019ll even send you Brant Hansen\u2019s book, Unoffendable. Let me tell you, it\u2019s a phenomenal book. You\u2019re going to love it.<\/p>\n<p>More important than any of that stuff is join us. Let\u2019s be partners.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Let\u2019s change the world; let\u2019s make a mark.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014together.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We can do it together with your gift of any financial size. We\u2019d love to do this together with you. Let\u2019s change the world.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Go to FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: When I look back at things that they\u2019ve weathered already, as much as I hate when they experience pain and I want to fix it for them, I know that is the thing that shapes them. God uses the hard, painful things to show them who He is, to show them who they are, and who He made them to be, if they will look for that.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>We have David and Meg Robbins back in the studio. Welcome back, guys.<\/p>\n<p>David: It\u2019s good to be back.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We love having you. This is going to be a great topic today because we\u2019re talking about school starting.<\/p>\n<p>David: We\u2019re back for a back-to-school [program]. We need to talk about the parent side of this, right?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014the anxiety and stress that parents feel. Now you\u2019re back to packing lunches possibly, and now you\u2019re hearing all the drama that\u2019s going on.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: That\u2019s true.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Now there\u2019s all the homework happening.<\/p>\n<p>David: You are laying it on, and you are right. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Meg: \u2014and all the activities. I think we barely mentioned this yesterday but how much is going on [that] the kids can be a part of. In some ways, it\u2019s great but in some ways, it\u2019s hard to draw limits and lines and keep your own family time sacred and even present at all.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, it\u2019s a lot. There is a lot of anxiety that comes with the start of school for sure.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Take us into the Robbins home. Honestly, do you guys feel anxiety. You\u2019ve got two\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Meg: One in elementary\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Okay.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: \u2014third grade. Then we have a ninth grader entering high school and an eleventh grader.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Talk about the stress.<\/p>\n<p>David: I think the main thing, especially in this season is just all the orchestration to pull off getting then into school. In that first month, the layers of preparation and supplies and this time we\u2019re adding the college mix into that.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: I have to say that if you\u2019re asking if we\u2019re feeling anxiety, I can be super honest and say, certainly, because the other kids are walking a path that we have been before. We\u2019ve had kids start high school. We\u2019ve had kids go into third grade. Each one carries their own unique challenges, so you feel things around that for sure. But sending your kid off to college, this is a whole new thing for us. I\u2019m feeling all of the feels.<\/p>\n<p>David: It\u2019s a lot the same and a lot different as sending your kid to kindergarten. Some of you are sending your kid to pre-K and kindergarten for the first time.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>David: The anxiety for me starts coming out in unhealthy ways when I just start functioning and getting it all done, because that\u2019s what has to happen in some ways. Logistically I say, \u201cAlright, let\u2019s make it all happen.\u201d I start ignoring myself and then that ends detaching Meg and me and that ends up with me just functioning with the kids and making sure it all happens.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: You become very task oriented?<\/p>\n<p>David: Even though I\u2019m people [oriented] to the core, I become task [oriented] because it\u2019s so much in this unique back-to-school season.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: We want to end well. We want to get in all the things and do all the things but let him have the space and freedom to do that with his friends and people in his life. Yet, our kids have our own grief process of watching their brother leave.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Talk about that because I remember our oldest is C.J. and he\u2019s married now, but when he was going into college\u2014you just said a couple of things we did\u2014one was his senior year we said, \u201cYou want to go out for burger tonight. You want to go out tomorrow night?\u201d because we felt like \u201cThe window\u2019s closing; we\u2019ve got to grab every moment,\u201d so we were trying to seize those moments.<\/p>\n<p>But then when we got him to school, I\u2019ll never forget driving away and looking in the rearview mirror and seeing him stand there. We were bawling our eyes out, overwhelmed by \u201cOur oldest is leaving.\u201d Again, it was everything we prepared for; this what we want to do.<\/p>\n<p>David: This is what we want.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: We are launching.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: But the fear and anxiety in my soul was the Christian-walk part of \u201cWe poured into him; we prayed over him; we\u2019ve cast a vision for him to be a man of God. Now he\u2019s on a campus\u2014\u201d \u2014this was a public, secular school where\u2014 \u201c\u2014I know what I did when I got there; it was not good. I took my freedom to bad places.\u201d We were driving away thinking, \u201cWill he make good choices?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Talk about that kind of stress. Maybe you don\u2019t have that, but we surely did.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: For sure. I think sometimes there are seasons of parenting where you can have this illusion of control, especially when they\u2019re younger. [Laughter] You don\u2019t have any control but for some reason we feel like\u2014you are making some decisions like \u201cWhen is everybody going to bed?\u201d and those kinds of things, or at least in theory.<\/p>\n<p>But I think you hit this stage, this point in your oldest\u2019s life where \u201cNo, we don\u2019t have any control. We really never did.\u201d But it\u2019s this moment of deep, deep surrender and \u201cDo I trust you, Lord, in whatever story You are writing in his life and the choices that he makes some of them, probably many of them, I will have no idea what exactly what is going on?\u201d Even that reality coming to terms with \u201cI\u2019m not going to know what he\u2019s doing most of the time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>David: I think that same principle is the principle that applies no matter what age your child is. If you have a pre-Ker all the way to this release point that is a little more tangible, they\u2019re all surrender, release points. Cissy Goff talked about anxiety. She said, \u201cAnxiety is always an overestimation of the problem and an underestimation of ourselves,\u201d or for kids, themselves. But let\u2019s talk about parents here.<\/p>\n<p>There are holy moments in back to school [season] where you can actively on the way and especially after drop off or as you send people out the door, whatever stage you are in, you get to surrender every day, your kids. You get to intercede for them every day. You get the opportunity to get honest about your own stuff that\u2019s surfacing for you.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s nothing like the most intimate relationship in your life to sometimes\u2014what was the quote we heard this weekend of \u201cI feel like God gave us teenagers in order to know what it feels like to have something created in your image that rejects you.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>That affects us and that affects our identity. But we end up underestimating our identity in Christ. Seven words in Colossians that really can change the game every single day if we live them out: \u201cChrist in us the hope of glory.\u201d [Colossians 1:27, Paraphrased]<\/p>\n<p>He didn\u2019t just forgive our sins and take them away. He forgives us when we get wrapped around and sin in our anxiety, but He put into us His Holy Spirit, His righteousness, divine resources for us to live this day, today, differently, [so] that we can surrender today and say, \u201cGod, they are yours and I am coming out sideways. Help me, Lord, with the way my anxiety is coming out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Because the scariest thing about anxiety in a parent\u2014I think it was Josh Straub who told us this from research\u2014the number one predictor, not the only predictor, but the number one predictor of how your kids will deal with anxiety is how their parents deal with stress and anxiety\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>David: \u2014which puts a mirror up close to my face.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Me, too, David. I remember dropping C.J. off, Dave, that first day. We dropped him off at this incredibly hard engineering school that he got into. He has ADD. So, I\u2019m also thinking of parents that are sending their kids off. Maybe there\u2019s some sort of learning challenge or a diagnosis that you are thinking, \u201cOh!\u201d But I also remember as we were crying going home, we also prayed for him and did as we did many nights: \u201cLord, we lay this boy at the altar. You love him more that we do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I think that\u2019s a great spot because I can\u2019t take the anxiety of it. It wrecks me. As you said, it comes out all different places so to say, \u201cLord, we just surrender them.\u201d As you said, David, whether they\u2019re in kindergarten, whether they have the hardest learning challenge and you are thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t know how they will survive, and we\u2019re worried about their self esteem and how they will manage.\u201d Isn\u2019t it reassuring to remember that we can drop them at the altar of God and He says, \u201cI\u2019ve got them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Meg: It\u2019s remembering how trustworthy our God is and that He loves our kids more than we do.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: That surrender is He already has them but there is something about letting them go again into His hands.<\/p>\n<p>David: Can I say though that these are words we say to ourselves, words we\u2019ve heard, words that get talked around this table a lot. It\u2019s another thing for me, as a dad, to stop and do it. It\u2019s one thing to know it. It\u2019s another thing to say, \u201cIn the bleachers today watching a game, a practice, I\u2019m going to release that kid all practice. Lord, I\u2019m going to go to practice with intentionality to pray over that kid the entire time. Lord, I release this about him to You; I surrender this,\u201d and then begin to take a listening posture and say, \u201cSo, how do You want me to participate in how you\u2019re shaping this kid?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what we get to do as parents. We do have a stewardship, and I know all those things, but again going back to how we started, I can just function, get to practice, talk to the parents, enjoy being on mission, talk to the kid about how the practice was. Sometimes, we have to live out release time, surrender time. That\u2019s an action I can do this afternoon as I go to practice.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s one thing to say the words. We know these words, and we do them in principle. It\u2019s another thing to do them today.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We prayed every day before school on the way to school. Honestly, I was praying for the kids, but I think it was more for me than anybody. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>David: That\u2019s so true.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I don\u2019t even know if they were listening as I was driving them to school on certain days. But just that habit of praying for them, that it\u2019s releasing them, because that first son who went to college, when he had a big exam coming up, you know what he would do? [He would say], \u201cHey, mom and Dad, I\u2019ve got this huge exam. Would you guys pray for me?\u201d Because that had become a pattern in our lives that when we\u2019re up against something hard and difficult or easy, but especially when we\u2019re really struggling, where do we go? We go to our Father who loves us.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: That reminds me of one of my favorite verses, Isaiah 26:3 [which says], \u201cYou keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Praying with our kids before school or before a tryout for something or all these new things or daily, that teaches them what it means to have our minds fixed on the Lord and trusting in Him. That is where peace comes from.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I want to know what your anxiety points are in your family because when I think back to when our kids were in school days, mine was money. I can remember nights, many nights, when they were in middle school and high school starting to think about \u201cHow do we pay for college?\u201d I would lay there thinking, \u201cOh, my goodness, college is going up and up and up.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I can say this looking back, that school that our oldest went to that we dropped him off at and cried, it was a coop, so it was an engineering school where you went to school three months [then] you went to a job, and they all had great jobs.<\/p>\n<p>My next son went to Moody. They covered the tuition. I thought, \u201cYou\u2019re the man!\u201d Then our third son got a football scholarship. It was like all that anxiety, all those sleepless nights\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Let me add this, too, because this is miraculous, but then that oldest son ended up transferring. He wanted to finish at a different university. It was a great decision for him. But again, we thought, \u201cOh, how are we going to afford this? Now he\u2019s living off campus.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, he wanted to live off campus. Again, I thought, \u201cHow much is that going to cost?\u201d [Laughter] We went up there and we were walking around this apartment building. A lot of students lived there. The owners of the apartment building walked into this room to show us\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: They looked at us and said, \u201cDave and Ann Wilson, what are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I said, \u201cOur son, C.J., wants to rent this.<\/p>\n<p>They said, \u201cWe\u2019ve been going to your church for 20 years.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I said, \u201cWhat do you mean? This is three hours from our home.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He said, \u201cThis is a rental property for us.\u201d Next thing you know they call us and said, \u201cWe\u2019re going to comp you son\u2019s rent.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Meg: No way!<\/p>\n<p>David: The Lord will provide in different ways.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: That\u2019s amazing.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I thought, \u201cGod, You are so good!\u201d Can you believe that. It was just for one year but what a gift.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Maybe you\u2019re not going to get that kind of [provision] but\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014God\u2019s got you. That\u2019s all we\u2019re trying to say to you as parents. I know the anxiety. It\u2019s real. There\u2019s a God that is walking right beside you.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: A huge anxiety point for me is the pain that our kids feel. When they\u2019re feeling something whether it\u2019s tension with their friends or feeling left out or coaching. Maybe I don\u2019t think the coach sees them for what they\u2019re trying to contribute or whatever it is. I feel those things so deeply, and sometimes it\u2019s worse than if it were happening to me.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: Probably more deeply than my kids sometimes. That\u2019s where I probably experience the most anxiety as a parent. I think that in some ways, God made us that way. He made us as moms for sure, maybe as dads, too, I guess, to feel at some level what they\u2019re feeling. It gives us empathy for them. It allows us to know how to pray for them and come alongside them. But I think that\u2019s where I have to constantly come back to \u201cOkay, Lord, help me remember that You are using this, and You are in this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When I look back at things that they weathered already, as much as I hate when they experience pain and I want to fix it for them, I know that is the thing that shapes them. God uses the hard, painful things to show them who He is, to show them who they are, and who He made them to be if they will look for that.<\/p>\n<p>David: It develops resilience that they\u2019re going to need.<\/p>\n<p>Meg: For sure.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: What\u2019s yours, David?<\/p>\n<p>David: Friendships were such a hard thing for me growing up. That is one area Meg kind of\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That I can hardly believe.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Me, either.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You are such a good friend. David: Let\u2019s just say I heard at one point, and I was grateful to hear it \u201cYou know, David, you don\u2019t want to ever peak in middle school. It doesn\u2019t work out good.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>I thought, \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m taking that one forward.\u201d I\u2019m glad I didn\u2019t peak in middle school. But I think one of the things that haunts me as they get a little older that does worry me [is] the parts I see ourselves in them and how our story is like we\u2019re untangling our own stories of why we were the way we were and the things we tried to lunge after to have our identity in that weren\u2019t Jesus.<\/p>\n<p>I think, \u201cOh man, that kid, they\u2019re so over involved, they\u2019re just like me. I passed that one down.\u201d \u201cOh, this kid, there\u2019s fear around people. Oh man!\u201d It can be easy to start seeing yourselves and your own wounds that you carried over. Sure, some of that probably is getting passed down but I\u2019m not going to enter in perfectly but how do I enter into some of their pain?<\/p>\n<p>Pain and fear are a real part of life and what we do with them ends up writing a lot of our stories and what ends up controlling us and our false beliefs of where we end up sinning and where we over function.<\/p>\n<p>When I see those faint glimpses so clearly in my kids lives there is a lot of burden and anxiety that heaps on. I can start heaping on in shame thinking, \u201cLord, I haven\u2019t processed for myself enough or what have I not processed with them. It\u2019s so obvious I passed this on to them.\u201d But I think, \u201cLord, help me; help me know the pace; help me know how to enter in.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But that really ties me up.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Mine is the fear of what they\u2019re being exposed to, not just the peer pressures, but also the cultural mindsets of the day: \u201cWill they cave in; will they be able to stand; will they\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Parents are facing that way more than what we faced. Every generation has its things that\u2014but then I\u2019d work myself into this [questioning], \u201cWhat if they\u2026?<\/p>\n<p>Have you guys done that? \u201cWell, what if they get in this relationship? What if they start partying?\u201d \u201cWhat if they\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>David: Sure.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: When I went to that place, for me, it didn\u2019t do any good. Zero. That\u2019s not something I struggled with when I was growing up. I think it\u2019s because my parents created this atmosphere in our home that was fun. I thought \u201cThis party feels so boring compared to\u2014I wonder what my family is doing?\u201d Because they created this great atmosphere of joy, love and really just fun.<\/p>\n<p>I think we forget how our homes can lure them back.<\/p>\n<p>David: That\u2019s good.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Make it a haven.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, make it a haven that \u201cMan, your home?\u201d I remember in high school when all their friends would come over and the kids would be over. I would say, \u201cWhat are you guys doing here? This is the best night ever.\u201d Then I\u2019d try not to be over-involved. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We\u2019re going to go upstairs now.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I\u2019d try to leave. But still, we think that the world is much more alluring than homes that love and care for people and see one another and see their friends.<\/p>\n<p>I remember the boys saying, \u201cI want my friends to come to our house because you see them. They always want to come to our house because you ask them questions that nobody\u2019s asking them, and you care who they are.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I thought, \u201cMan, that\u2019s such a great compliment.\u201d Our kids\u2019 friends and maybe our kids are struggling with their identity, with the things they are facing, and we can be a haven, we can be that light and a lighthouse in our corner of the world where we want our kids\u2019 friends to come and our kids to be there.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, I can just, as you tear up saying that, it makes me miss the stage you guys are in. As hectic and as anxious as it can feel, those were special days to have the boys and their friends sitting around our kitchen table\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014eating all the food in the house.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014eating all our food, drinking all our Cokes, and spending more of my money. They were precious days. Especially Ann had this vision of \u201cWe can parent them; we can impact them; we can speak life with them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cWe can love them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I think you did that well.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Thanks.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: We\u2019re going to hear more encouragement from everyone today to you if maybe you feel in this season that you\u2019re unseen. The Wilsons and the Robbinses want you to know that they see you. That\u2019s coming up in just a second.<\/p>\n<p>But first, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with David and Meg Robbins on FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>We want you to know that we are so grateful for you, especially if you are a partner with us here at FamilyLife Today. We want you to make your mark and be a part of FamilyLife\u2019s mission of impacting lives through Christian teaching and family support.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the month of August and our goal is to raise 250,000 dollars in new funds by the end of this month to support FamilyLife\u2019s initiatives and to reach our fiscal year end target. We do that because we partner with people just like you who want to make every home a godly home.<\/p>\n<p>If that\u2019s you and you want to hop in with us and join us and joyfully give to the mission of FamilyLife, you can do that by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com or look for our link in the show notes or you can feel free to give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329. Again, that number is \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life and them then word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Or feel free to drop your donation in the mail, if you\u2019d like. Our address is FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, Florida 32832.<\/p>\n<p>If you feel unseen in this back-to-school season, here\u2019s some specific encouragement just for you.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think at this time of the year you can feel alone, especially if you have special circumstances that you\u2019re dealing with as a parent or a family. We at FamilyLife want to give a special shout out to those of you who have kids with any kind of learning disabilities whether it is diagnosed or undiagnosed. \u201cWell done! We see you. You\u2019ve got this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Families with kids with disabilities, learning and physical disabilities, that\u2019s weighing on you and you\u2019re contemplating that thinking, \u201cMan, that is not easy,\u201d so \u201cWay to go! We\u2019re cheering for you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: How about the teachers? I coached at the high school for 12 years, so I was around a lot of you teachers. \u201cYou guys are heroes from kindergarten and first grade through middle school, I don\u2019t know how you do it; high school, God bless you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What a calling!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cWe celebrate you. Thank you for pouring into our kids.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Meg: Also, to moms out there and maybe dads, too, I know sometimes for me back to school can reinforce this feeling of being tempted to look at other people and compare and say, \u201cMan, things are so busy. I can\u2019t get it together. I\u2019m already behind. I\u2019m already putting junk in their lunch,\u201d or whatever.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Or \u201cLook how cute that kid\u2019s dressed up, and my daughter\u2019s wearing her pajamas to school.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Meg: \u201cIt\u2019s okay. You\u2019re not alone in your survival.\u201d I have to remind myself even for the more serious things where I feel like I\u2019m dropping the ball or feeling\u2026God\u2019s grace is for those moments, and He sees me and He\u2019s with me and He covers over all of those things.<\/p>\n<p>David: For you parents who are ready for your kids to go back to school and have got it all lined up or homeschool parents as you\u2019re preparing, maybe you are like us families in transition years, we have one going to college and one going to ninth grade, maybe some of you have a kindergartener for the first time, we at FamilyLife are praying for you. Let\u2019s pray right now.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s what I was going to say.<\/p>\n<p>David:<\/p>\n<p>Lord, thank You for the kids of those who are listening right not. Thank You that You know them and every hair on their heads. You created them in the womb exactly who they were meant to be, and Your story is being written on their lives. Thanks for the part we get to play as parents, God. Lift our eyes to You. Let us surrender fully and speak life into our kids as we navigate this overwhelming season. Amen.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Amen.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Amen.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Coming up next week, Debra Fileta is going to join Dave and Ann Wilson to talk about the power of introspection and eternal healing in order to see lasting change in our lives. That\u2019s next week. We hope you\u2019ll join us.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs? Copyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/284919","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=284919"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280865"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=284919"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=284919"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=284919"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=284919"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=284919"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=284919"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}