{"id":281929,"date":"2024-06-28T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-06-28T09:54:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/lost-and-finding-myself-barbara-rainey\/"},"modified":"2024-11-19T04:15:01","modified_gmt":"2024-11-19T09:15:01","slug":"lost-and-finding-myself-barbara-rainey","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lost-and-finding-myself-barbara-rainey\/","title":{"rendered":"Lost&#8211;and Finding Myself: Barbara Rainey"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Do you ever ask yourself, &#8220;What&#8217;s my purpose in life?&#8221; Are you actually fulfilling your role in life? Barbara Rainey questioned who she was after leaving leadership roles at work and in a church. She shares how she was able to cope with disappointment and actually find hope.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you ever ask yourself, &#8220;What&#8217;s my purpose in life?&#8221; Are you actually fulfilling<a class=\"d-block py-2 read-more color-cyan small\" href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lost-and-finding-myself-barbara-rainey\/\" title=\"Read more: Lost--and Finding Myself: Barbara Rainey\" >Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280865,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/0d1e1443-3238-481a-a7a3-b18d01526c1d\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:04","filesize":"25.74M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3052],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-281929","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","cwp_profile-barbara-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/281929\/lost-and-finding-myself-barbara-rainey","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/281929\/lost-and-finding-myself-barbara-rainey","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"lhXPK9Y3iX\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lost-and-finding-myself-barbara-rainey\/\">Lost&#8211;and Finding Myself: Barbara Rainey<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lost-and-finding-myself-barbara-rainey\/embed\/#?secret=lhXPK9Y3iX\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Lost&#8211;and Finding Myself: Barbara Rainey&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"lhXPK9Y3iX\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["0d1e1443-3238-481a-a7a3-b18d01526c1d"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/0d1e1443-3238-481a-a7a3-b18d01526c1d\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:28:04"],"filesize":["25.74M"],"_thumbnail_id":["280865"],"show_notes":["\n<ul>\n<li>Connect with Barbara Rainey on her website at <a href=\"https:\/\/everthinehome.com\/\">everthinehome.com<\/a> and catch more of her thoughts on Instagram @everthinehome.<\/li>\n<li>Want to hear more episodes by Barbara Rainey listen <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/guest\/barbara-rainey\/\">here<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Listen to the new season of <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/married-with-benefits\/\">Married with Benefits<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Learn about FamilyLife's Weekend to Remember<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-06-28.pdf"],"transcript_content":["\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript\r\n\r\nReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.\r\n\r\nLost - and Finding Myself\r\n\r\nGuest:Barbara Rainey\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Disappointed at God\r\n\r\nAir date:June 28, 2023\r\n\r\nBarbara: I think God, sincerely, because He loves us and wants a relationship with us, wants us to see Him as He is. It\u2019s the essence of marriage, right? \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes. \r\n\r\nBarbara: You want to know the person you\u2019re married to, and really know him and really know her. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s any different with God. He wants us to really know Him as He is.  \r\n\r\nShelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\nAnn: This is FamilyLife\u2014 \r\n\r\nDave: \u2014Today!\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nDave: I hadn\u2019t thought about this until this very second, but if you could do a percentage on me\u2014and I wonder what yours would be\u2014of the emotions that I\u2019ve experienced in my walk with God over four decades\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014okay\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014I just realized, I think disappointment would be pretty high. \r\n\r\nAnn: Really? We have never talked about this. \r\n\r\nDave: I know. \r\n\r\nBarbara: This is great. I want to hear the rest of this. \r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019ve never thought of it. \r\n\r\nBarbara: You were just quickly cataloguing in your brain, and you\u2019re thinking disappointment would be near the top?\r\n\r\nDave: Joy is in there. \r\n\r\nAnn: You\u2019re listening to Barbara Rainey, who is with us. She\u2019s back with us today. \r\n\r\nDave: They already knew. They were thinking, \u201cWe know this voice.\u201d [Laughter]\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u201cWe can\u2019t wait to\u201d\u2014okay, keep going.\r\n\r\nAnn: Isn\u2019t that an interesting\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014yes, it\u2019s a great comment. \r\n\r\nDave: As we started yesterday, with Barbara, talking about disappointment with God, I was just sitting here thinking, \u201cOkay, now there\u2019s joy, and there\u2019s happiness\u2014\u201d\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014sure; of course.\r\n\r\nDave: \u201c\u2014and there\u2019s contentment.\u201d Again, I know these aren\u2019t even emotion words. Psychologists [would say], \u201cDude, those aren\u2019t even\u2026.\u201d \r\n\r\nBarbara: I know. \r\n\r\nDave: But disappointment is over 50 [percent] for me, at least; maybe over 60. Again, I am not complaining; I am not saying God hasn\u2019t blessed my life. He has. I should, of all people, not even be saying this. \r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m going back over your life, and I\u2019m thinking, \u201cYou had a father that was an alcoholic, a mother that was an alcoholic. Your little brother died. Your parents divorced. You\u2019ve had some really hard things.\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: And I think most of us have. \r\n\r\nAnn: Okay, Barbara. Where would you rank yours? With disappointment, would that be a high percentage? \r\n\r\nBarbara: It would be high, very high. It would be, like Dave, 50 or 60 percent anyway. The Christian life has been exponentially harder than I ever imagined it would be. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Really. \r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s been six years since you left the leadership of FamilyLife. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s been five years since we left the leadership of a church we started thirty years ago. It\u2019s been a hard journey for us. \r\n\r\nAnn: One of the hardest. \r\n\r\nDave: I would say the hardest for me.\r\n\r\nBarbara: Well, ditto. See, I didn\u2019t know that. Isn\u2019t that\u2014that illustrates a part of this situation that we\u2019re all in. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nBarbara: I had no idea this was a big, hard transition for you. \r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s been the hardest thing. \r\n\r\nBarbara: There are plenty of people that would look at us and say, \u201cReally? This has been hard for you?\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: Yes, so talk about that a little bit. \r\n\r\nBarbara: That\u2019s interesting, isn\u2019t it?\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: I want to hear about the hard journey you\u2019ve been on. \r\n\r\nBarbara: One of the more difficult things has been, what we\u2019ve now come to understand as, the loss of identity. That\u2019s what you\u2019re experiencing, too. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Because you have this certain sense of identity as a mom. I\u2019ve been a mom all these years to these six kids. Then, when they\u2019re all gone, and you hit the empty nest, it\u2019s all of a sudden: \u201cWho am I now, and what do I do with my life?\u201d That\u2019s a loss of identity. \r\n\r\nAnn: For sure. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Dennis and I, for sure, went through that when we left FamilyLife because for 40 years he had been the President of FamilyLife. He had hosted the broadcast, He\u2019d been\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: He started it. You both started it. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Yes, he started it. He got calls every day, people sending books every day, and people asking him to speak forever and ever. \r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nBarbara: He was just constantly saying, \u201cNo,\u201d and it was like, all of a sudden, the spigots got turned off on everything. \r\n\r\nWe were sitting at home saying, \u201cWell, now what?\u201d and \u201cWho are we?\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: Yes, right.\r\n\r\nBarbara: And \u201cGod, what do You have for us?\u201d There\u2019s no answer from God as to what He has for us. We\u2019re waiting for an answer: \u201cWhat do You have?\u201d Here we are six years [out], and we\u2019re still not sure what God has, so we just keep going a day at a time. \r\n\r\nThat\u2019s a real, significant disappointment in all of our lives when we come to those places where our circumstances change, and we are not quite the same as we were before. In the course of this, I realized one day that that was what I was struggling with; about a year and a half into this. I went to my office where I\u2019ve got all my favorite books. I pulled A Grace Disguised off the shelf, by Dr. Jerry Sittser. He\u2019s been on the broadcast before. \r\n\r\nAnn: What an interesting title, \u201cA Grace Disguised.\u201d \r\n\r\nBarbara: I think that\u2019s part of what we\u2019re talking about. God takes us to these hard places, and it\u2019s a grace for us, but we don\u2019t see it that way. \r\n\r\nAnn: Not at all. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Yet, He\u2019s trying to take us to the grace part. The first thing I did, when I grabbed that book, was I read the whole thing; but the chapter that stood out to me was the one on a loss of identity. When I read it, I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s what we\u2019re feeling.\u201d That\u2019s what both of us were feeling, and we couldn\u2019t put a name on it. I gave him the book, and I said, \u201cYou have to read this! You just have to read it,\u201d and he did. \r\n\r\nThere have been so many adjustments, and a lot of them are wrapped up in the loss of identity. But we\u2019ve been trying to figure out, \u201cWho are we?\u201d because we\u2019re different people than we were with the FamilyLife umbrella\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014yes\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014and the FamilyLife family surrounding us. Those people weren\u2019t there; the umbrella wasn\u2019t there; the job description wasn\u2019t there. We didn\u2019t get up and go every day. It was a big adjustment to figure out who we are, \u201cWhat does God want us to do?\u201d and \u201cHow are we going to live life now?\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: A lot of that\u2014we experienced the same thing. \r\n\r\nBarbara: I bet you did. \r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s interesting, being a chaplain for an NFL team for years, three decades, I would say to guys as they walked out of the NFL, either retired or injured or cut: \u201cThis isn\u2019t who you are. This was never your identity,\u201d and then it happened to me. To say that to somebody else, and then to look in the mirror and say: \u201cOkay, do I believe that I am a valuable person in the world without\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014without this.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014a stage to walk on, and people looking at me and saying, \u2018Open the Word of God for us please\u2019?\u201d I didn\u2019t\u2019 have that anymore.\r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m thinking that same thing. When we had three boys five and under, and it was absolute chaos, I remember thinking to myself, \u201cI don\u2019t even have a life anymore.\u201d But then, when they were all gone, I remember saying to Dave, \u201cThat was the best part of my life.\u201d [Laughter] \r\n\r\nBarbara: [Laughing] Isn\u2019t that funny!?\r\n\r\nAnn: I thought, \u201cNow who am I?\u201d I finally got good at it. I felt confident! And now, they\u2019re gone. \u201cNow who am I?\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019m over here saying, \u201cI\u2019m here. I\u2019m not important?\u201d \r\n\r\nBarbara: I know. Dennis said the same thing! [Laughter] He has said the exact same thing: \u201cHi, I\u2019m here.\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: Yes. \r\n\r\nAnn: We\u2019re saying this identity crisis can follow us. So, the question is: what have you discovered?\r\n\r\nBarbara: I think what God wants us to discover in all of this that He is sufficient. We preach it all the time; we tell people. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes, we know it in the head.\r\n\r\nBarbara: You told the athletes, right? But He\u2019s saying, \u201cNow, let Me show you that I am all you need, and I am sufficient.\u201d \r\n\r\nHe takes us to these places, and He waits for us to hit the wall or come to the end of ourselves or whatever, and then, like Job, He says, \u201cOkay, let Me show you a thing or two.\u201d He rights our ship, and He lets us know a little bit more\u2014a little peak more into\u2014who He is. \r\n\r\nWe forget\u2014this is one of the things I\u2019m realizing; we forget\u2014as believers, Who we worship. We forget who God is. We forget that He is mysterious. We want Him to be tangible, touchable, and [someone we can] figure out. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nBarbara: We forget that He is almighty; we forget that He is beyond comprehension. We relate to Him and treat Him, in a sense, as if He\u2019s like us. \r\n\r\nI think God is constantly trying to change that perception and say, \u201cNo, no, no. That\u2019s not who I am. I want you to see that I\u2019m grand and that I\u2019m the Almighty,\u201d which is, again, what He did with Job. He showed a glimpse of Himself to Job, and Job\u2019s response was, \u201cI repent. Now I see You as You are.\u201d [Job 42:5-6, Paraphrased]\r\n\r\nI think God, sincerely, because He loves us and wants a relationship with us, He wants us to see Him as He is. It\u2019s the essence of marriage, right? \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes. \r\n\r\nBarbara: You want to know the person you\u2019re married to, and really know him and really know her. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s any different with God. He wants us to really know Him as He is. \r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m thinking that\u2019s probably what happened to you and Dennis in these last six years. You probably know one another in an even deeper way. \r\n\r\nBarbara: We know each other much better, yes. \r\n\r\nAnn: The same thing happens with God as we lean into Him. \r\n\r\nBarbara, one of the things I\u2019ve always loved about you is you love God\u2019s Word. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Yes. \r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m looking at your Bible that\u2019s all marked up. As you\u2019ve read Scripture, I know that has ministered to you\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014yes, yes. \r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014as you\u2019ve gone through this identity crisis. \r\n\r\nDave: And I\u2019ll just add, as I said yesterday, I read your blog. You bring insights to the Word of God. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes. \r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s one of the reasons I keep reading. I think, \u201cI didn\u2019t see that.\u201d \r\n\r\nBarbara: Thank you. \r\n\r\nDave: You, even in this area of disappointment with God, I\u2019ve already read it, but I want our listeners to hear your insights on Mary and Martha. \r\n\r\nBarbara: The story of Mary and Martha is the one at the end of the book of John. We know about the first encounter when Martha was in the kitchen, and she was complaining, and Jesus said, \u201cMartha, Martha, Mary has chosen the better\u2026.\u201d [Luke 10:41-42, Paraphrased]\r\n\r\nBut in the book of John, He takes almost an entire chapter, chapter 11, and he tells the story of when Lazarus died. Jesus had not come when they first asked Him to come. They thought He was going to come immediately because he was their friend. \r\n\r\nAnn: They\u2019re good friends. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Good friends! And He loved Mary and Martha. Mary and Martha knew that Jesus loved them. When He finally came, Lazarus had been in the grave four days. When Martha heard that Jesus was there, that He had finally come, she jumped up and ran down the road, and met Him, and got in His face\u2014again, this is amazing to me\u2014she said, and I imagine with great passion, and maybe even anger: \u201cJesus, if You had been here, he would not have died!\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes!\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u201cWhy didn\u2019t You come? I thought You loved me; I thought You loved us. Why did You not come?\u201d [John 11:21, Paraphrased]\r\n\r\nWhat is so interesting about that is that He came, and she said that to Him, and then, she said: \u201cEven now, I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You.\u201d [John 11:22]\r\n\r\nThen Jesus said to her, \u201cYour brother shall rise again.\u201d [John 11:23, Paraphrased]\r\n\r\nThen Martha said to Him\u2014I imagine this with some passion and emotion; she said to Him\u2014\u201cI know that he will rise again on the last day!\u201d [John 11:24, Paraphrased] as if to say, \u201cCome on, I know that! Don\u2019t tell me something I already know.\u201d Maybe that isn\u2019t the way it happened, but\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014that\u2019s how I would have said it. \r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014that\u2019s just how I picture myself feeling, even if I didn\u2019t say it. \r\n\r\nAnn: I would have said it.\r\n\r\nBarbara: Then Jesus said to her, \u201cI am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me shall live even if he dies.\u201d [John 11:25, Paraphrased]\r\n\r\nMartha is kind of getting calmed down. She heard the Master speak, and she heard Him say, \u201cI am the resurrection and the life.\u201d That had to have gotten her attention, because when Jesus said, \u201cI am\u2026,\u201d she knew what that meant. I think that softened her. Then she responded to Him and said, \u201cYes, Lord\u201d\u2014and I hear humility now\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014yes\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014\u201cI have believed that You are the Christ, the Son of God, even He who comes into the world.\u201d [John 11:27]\r\n\r\nIt was like she saw Jesus and remembered who He was. She said, \u201cI will trust You.\u201d She didn\u2019t say that, but that was her heart attitude. He brought her to a place of saying, \u201cI trust You.\u201d \r\n\r\nThen\u2014this is what\u2019s so cool, Jesus said to Martha, \u201cCall your sister. Where is Mary? Call your sister.\u201d Now, that is not in Scripture, but we know He said that because Martha left Jesus, and she went away and called Mary saying, \u201cThe Teacher is here, and He is calling for you.\u201d [John 11:28, Paraphrased]\r\n\r\nThat just gives me chills when I read it\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014yes\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014because Mary didn\u2019t go. She heard that Jesus had come, and she didn\u2019t go. Why didn\u2019t Mary go? Why did only Martha get up and run? They are two very different people; that\u2019s why. Martha is bold; she\u2019s in charge; she\u2019s the eldest. She wanted to get the facts. She wanted to confront Jesus and find out, \u201cWhy were You not here?\u201d \r\n\r\nBut Mary\u2014Mary was the sensitive one. She was the one who sat at His feet and listened. I think Mary was so crushed and so wounded and so disappointed in God that she couldn\u2019t get up off the floor; she couldn\u2019t get up out of the fetal position on her chair or couch. I think she thought: \u201cWell, Jesus is here, but it\u2019s too late. He could have fixed this.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: She probably felt so hopeless. \r\n\r\nBarbara: I think she felt terribly hopeless and defeated. \r\n\r\nSo, Martha comes; she says to Mary: \u201cThe Teacher is here, and He\u2019s calling for you.\u201d I just love that about Jesus, because I imagine that\u2019s what He\u2019s saying to all of us every day in every situation: \u201cThe Teacher is here, and He\u2019s calling for you.\u201d \r\n\r\nThe question is: will we get up and go? \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nBarbara: But Mary did. Mary got up and went. \u201cAnd when she heard it, she arose quickly and came to him.\u201d [John 11:29, Paraphrased] \r\n\r\nThen it says, \u201cNow Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still in the place where Martha had met him\u201d [John 11:30], which also is very cool. He didn\u2019t move. He stayed in one spot and waited for her. I wonder how long He stood there waiting for her, but I think He would have [waited].\r\n\r\nDave: You got Ann crying. She\u2019s crying. \r\n\r\nBarbara: I know. \r\n\r\nAnn: In the same way, He\u2019s waiting for us. \r\n\r\nBarbara: He is waiting for us. \r\n\r\nAnn: He\u2019s always there. He\u2019s always waiting for us. \r\n\r\nBarbara: And we think He\u2019s not. \r\n\r\nAnn: [Laughter]Yes!\r\n\r\nBarbara: I just think, \u201cWhat is wrong with me that I forget that He\u2019s waiting for me all the time?\u201d But He is; He\u2019s always waiting for me to come to Him. \r\n\r\n\u201cTherefore, when Mary came to where Jesus was, she saw Him, and she fell at His feet, saying to Him, \u201cLord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.\u201d [John 11:32] Now, those words are identical, word-for-word, with what Martha said, but look at the difference. Martha was standing up, she was attacking Jesus (almost) verbally with her words, \u201cIf you had been here, my brother would not have died.\u201d \r\n\r\nBut Mary is on the ground at His feet and crying, saying, \u201cIf You had been here, he wouldn\u2019t have died.\u201d The difference in these two women, and how they came to Jesus, and what they said is very revealing about how unique we are as people. They were very different sisters. \r\n\r\nDave: And they\u2019re both disappointed. \r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014both disappointed.\r\n\r\nDave: They just expressed it in different ways. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Both expressed it in two very different ways. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u201cWhen Jesus, therefore, saw her weeping, He Himself was moved in His spirit, and He was troubled, and He wept. [John 11:33,35, Paraphrased] What I realize from this story is that, for Martha, Jesus had words, He answered her questions, her intellectual questions; but for Mary, Jesus had tears. He met her with what communicated to her. He cried with her because that was what she needed and that was where she was. He met her in that place of emotion. \r\n\r\nI just love that picture of Jesus. He knows us so individually and so uniquely. He knows what we need, and He meets us where we are. \r\n\r\nDave: You know, it\u2019s interesting to hear you say that, because so often\u2014I\u2019m guessing I preached this decades ago\u2014you think, when you read that Jesus wept\u2014everybody says, \u201c[It\u2019s the] shortest verse in the Bible\u2014you have this question of, \u201cWell, He knew what He was going to do, so why is He weeping?\u201d \r\n\r\nBarbara: Why would He weep? Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: You just gave us a perspective that I\u2019ve never heard before. He\u2019s weeping because He\u2019s connecting with the emotion of Mary. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Well, He loves Mary. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: He\u2019s not weeping for a Lazarus who is dead, because He knows\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: No, no.\r\n\r\nDave: He\u2019s connecting to our pain. It\u2019s a beautiful picture!\r\n\r\nBarbara: It is a beautiful picture.\r\n\r\nDave: Our God\u2014if you\u2019re weeping, He\u2019s weeping. He\u2019s with you in that dark place. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Yes, and it\u2019s why, when we go to people (to homes of people) who have lost someone, or they\u2019re in grief, or you go to a hospital room or something, you feel emotion for these people. \r\n\r\nDave: That\u2019s right.\r\n\r\nBarbara: You love them, you hug them; and sometimes, we cry with them. It\u2019s a comfort; it\u2019s identifying and being with that person in their grief. Jesus was with Mary in her grief. \r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m telling you, as you\u2019re reading the story, and you\u2019re sharing this Barbara, I think, \u201cThis is why we have to be in the Word!\u201d\r\n\r\nBarbara: It is why we have to be in the Word.\r\n\r\nAnn: Because we understand, we see who He is; we understand His greatness, His empathy, His kindness, His goodness, His holiness.\r\n\r\nI\u2019ve shared with so many people [that] I have to be in the Word every day, not because I\u2019m holy. It\u2019s because I\u2019m so desperate that I need to know Him!\r\n\r\nBarbara: Exactly!\r\n\r\nAnn: I have so many thoughts that are racing and troubling that the Word grounds me. It makes me see who Jesus is and His love for us; and it's compelling. It makes you fall on your face before Him\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014exactly, exactly. \r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014even in our disappointment, knowing that He weeps with us. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Yes, yes.\r\n\r\nDave: Sometimes, as I think we\u2019ve all experienced, when you\u2019re disappointed and you\u2019re really struggling with God, it\u2019s the last thing you want to do. \u201cI\u2019m not going to open His Word. I\u2019m sort of hurt; I\u2019m mad; I\u2019m in pain.\u201d \r\n\r\nBarbara: Yes. \r\n\r\nDave: \u201cI don\u2019t want to listen to worship music.\u201d It\u2019s almost like [when I say], \u201cI don\u2019t want to work out.\u201d Guess what? Get in the gym!\r\n\r\nBarbara: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s going to be the best thing you can do. Open the Word, even if you can\u2019t see the words because you\u2019re crying so hard, open the Word, or maybe listen to the Word; whatever it takes. You\u2019ve got to let your eyes see Him, because He\u2019s there; He wants to reveal Himself and He will. \r\n\r\nBarbara: And He will, yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: I think we\u2019re all different. I need a friend with me sometimes when I\u2019m so angry. First, though, I need to vent it to God. I think sometimes we can rely on friends and people so much that we don\u2019t go to Jesus and tell Him what we\u2019re thinking and feeling and when we feel His absence, \u201cWhere are You, God?\u201d \r\n\r\nBarbara: Yes, yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: But I have had friends lay their hands on me and pray for me, and all I can do is weep. Sometimes, that\u2019s a really good place\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014yes\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014but other times, I don\u2019t want to be around anybody. \r\n\r\nBarbara: I think the real tragedy for all of us is that we don\u2019t go to Him first. I don\u2019t go to Him first. I freely admit it. I wish it were not so, but my tendency is to try to fix whatever I\u2019m in. I\u2019ll go to the Word, but I don\u2019t necessarily go broken, like Mary and Martha were. I don\u2019t necessarily go and fall before Him as a first response. I think our nature is to try to fix things first, and we end up going to Him second or third or fourth!\r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: I would agree with that. I go to Him when I am out of control, if it\u2019s a sickness or a death where I can\u2019t do anything. But you\u2019re right, if I can have a part of it, I\u2019m all about fixing it myself!\r\n\r\nBarbara: Yes; and He knows that about us.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes!\r\n\r\nBarbara: And He knows that we\u2019re prone to do it on our own first and go to Him last. That\u2019s what the disciples did in the boat. \r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nBarbara: I mean, they rowed, and they rowed, and they rowed. They were trying to fix it and not have to wake Jesus and not bother Jesus. He would say, \u201cWhen are you going to bother me?\u201d I\u2019m sure. \u201cWake me up, and I can fix this.\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: There\u2019s a listener, or thousands, who right now are in the storm, and they feel like God\u2019s asleep\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014oh, I\u2019m sure. \r\n\r\nDave: \u2014or God isn\u2019t\u2014He\u2019s four days away, and it\u2019s too late. \r\n\r\nAnn: Barbara, I would love for you to pray.\r\n\r\nBarbara: I would love to. \r\n\r\nDave: Because their marriage is over, or their child is wayward; whatever it is, they have lost hope. \r\n\r\nAnn: If you\u2019re\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: They\u2019re listening to this, and they need to know that God\u2014everything we said, they need to actually believe today and feel. \r\n\r\nAnn: And if you\u2019re working out, or if you\u2019re walking, stop for a second; not if you\u2019re driving, but maybe pull off the side of the road. But if you\u2019re working out or walking, stop for a second and receive this prayer. \r\n\r\nBarbara: \r\n\r\nLord, God, we love You. We thank You that You have redeemed us. Thank you for the sacrifice of Christ on our behalf.\r\n\r\nBut Father, we come and say we are so often disappointed, we are so often in hard places. We don\u2019t know what to do, and yet like little children, we frantically try to fix it and put the pieces back together. We work so hard to make everything better.\r\n\r\nYou\u2019re waiting, like you waited on the road for Martha and for Mary. You wait for us to come to You. You wait for us to say, \u201cJesus, help.\u201d We\u2019re so reluctant to say, \u201cHelp.\u201d Yet, that\u2019s what You long to hear from us.\r\n\r\nFather, I want to pray for listeners who are in seasons of really painful disappointment, difficult circumstances. In the middle of the storm, You want us to say, \u201cHelp, Jesus. Will You help me? Will You give me a glimpse of You? Will You help me to see You and to run to You like Mary and Martha did?\u201d\r\n\r\nI pray, Father, that You will give each one of them courage to go to You. Give them courage to get up out of the chair and write in the journal. Give them courage to get up and get their Bible and start reading the Bible every day. Give them courage to do the thing that they need to do that will connect them to You, because when we get connected to You, the circumstances aren\u2019t going to necessarily change and likely won\u2019t, but what You want us to do in the middle of those circumstances that don\u2019t change is You want us to say, \u201cHelp, Jesus,\u201d and \u201cI trust You,\u201d and \u201cI will wait for You to work out whatever it is You\u2019re going to work out.\u201d\r\n\r\nWe forget how near You are; we forget how much You love us. But I pray that you will help us to come to You more and more quickly and more often, and that we will know You as You are and not as we hope that you will be or pretend that You are, but we will know You as You really are. May it be for our good and Your glory. We ask in Jesus\u2019s Name. Amen.\r\n\r\nAnn: Amen.\r\n\r\nDave: Amen. \r\n\r\nShelby: How blessed we have been today with Dave and Ann Wilson as they\u2019ve been joined by the co-founder of FamilyLife Today, Barbara Rainey. \r\n\r\nI\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and I wanted to let you know that this weekend coming up tonight and going all the way through Sunday, we want to ask you to pray for the upcoming Weekend to Remember\u00ae event that\u2019s happening in Scottsdale, Arizona. From tonight, all the way through Sunday, couples are getting together to work on their marriages, grow closer to one another and, of course, grow closer to God. \r\n\r\nIf that sounds like something that you would want to do, too, I wanted to you know that there are over 80 dates and locations available nationwide for FamilyLife\u2019s Weekend to Remember marriage getaway. You have the flexibility to choose a venue that suits you the best and, whether you prefer a local retreat or a destination weekend, there is something for everyone. \r\n\r\nIf you want more details, and you want to explore all the locations where the Weekend to Remember is, you can head over to FamilyLifeToday.com and check out the show notes.\r\n\r\nI wanted to also let you know that season four of Married with Benefits\u00ae is hosted by Brian Goins, and he\u2019s joined again this season by Harvard-trained researcher and author Shaunti Feldhahn. \r\n\r\nThey\u2019re talking this season about the surprising secret of highly happy marriages; the little things that make a difference. You can subscribe now to Married with Benefits wherever you get your podcasts or head over to our YouTube\u00ae channel; just search for FamilyLife\u2019s Married with Benefits. \r\n\r\nNow, coming up next week, Dave and Ann Wilson are joined by Dr. Gary Chapman. He\u2019s going to talk about five traits of a healthy family. That\u2019s next week. We hope you\u2019ll join us. \r\n\r\nOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?  \r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. 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you ever ask yourself, &#8220;What&#8217;s my purpose in life?&#8221; Are you actually fulfillingRead More &raquo;","meta_box":{"show_notes":"\n<ul>\n<li>Connect with Barbara Rainey on her website at <a href=\"https:\/\/everthinehome.com\/\">everthinehome.com<\/a> and catch more of her thoughts on Instagram @everthinehome.<\/li>\n<li>Want to hear more episodes by Barbara Rainey listen <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/guest\/barbara-rainey\/\">here<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Listen to the new season of <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/married-with-benefits\/\">Married with Benefits<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Learn about FamilyLife's Weekend to Remember<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-06-28.pdf","transcript_content":"\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript\r\n\r\nReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.\r\n\r\nLost - and Finding Myself\r\n\r\nGuest:Barbara Rainey\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Disappointed at God\r\n\r\nAir date:June 28, 2023\r\n\r\nBarbara: I think God, sincerely, because He loves us and wants a relationship with us, wants us to see Him as He is. It\u2019s the essence of marriage, right? \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes. \r\n\r\nBarbara: You want to know the person you\u2019re married to, and really know him and really know her. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s any different with God. He wants us to really know Him as He is.  \r\n\r\nShelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\nAnn: This is FamilyLife\u2014 \r\n\r\nDave: \u2014Today!\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nDave: I hadn\u2019t thought about this until this very second, but if you could do a percentage on me\u2014and I wonder what yours would be\u2014of the emotions that I\u2019ve experienced in my walk with God over four decades\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014okay\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014I just realized, I think disappointment would be pretty high. \r\n\r\nAnn: Really? We have never talked about this. \r\n\r\nDave: I know. \r\n\r\nBarbara: This is great. I want to hear the rest of this. \r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019ve never thought of it. \r\n\r\nBarbara: You were just quickly cataloguing in your brain, and you\u2019re thinking disappointment would be near the top?\r\n\r\nDave: Joy is in there. \r\n\r\nAnn: You\u2019re listening to Barbara Rainey, who is with us. She\u2019s back with us today. \r\n\r\nDave: They already knew. They were thinking, \u201cWe know this voice.\u201d [Laughter]\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u201cWe can\u2019t wait to\u201d\u2014okay, keep going.\r\n\r\nAnn: Isn\u2019t that an interesting\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014yes, it\u2019s a great comment. \r\n\r\nDave: As we started yesterday, with Barbara, talking about disappointment with God, I was just sitting here thinking, \u201cOkay, now there\u2019s joy, and there\u2019s happiness\u2014\u201d\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014sure; of course.\r\n\r\nDave: \u201c\u2014and there\u2019s contentment.\u201d Again, I know these aren\u2019t even emotion words. Psychologists [would say], \u201cDude, those aren\u2019t even\u2026.\u201d \r\n\r\nBarbara: I know. \r\n\r\nDave: But disappointment is over 50 [percent] for me, at least; maybe over 60. Again, I am not complaining; I am not saying God hasn\u2019t blessed my life. He has. I should, of all people, not even be saying this. \r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m going back over your life, and I\u2019m thinking, \u201cYou had a father that was an alcoholic, a mother that was an alcoholic. Your little brother died. Your parents divorced. You\u2019ve had some really hard things.\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: And I think most of us have. \r\n\r\nAnn: Okay, Barbara. Where would you rank yours? With disappointment, would that be a high percentage? \r\n\r\nBarbara: It would be high, very high. It would be, like Dave, 50 or 60 percent anyway. The Christian life has been exponentially harder than I ever imagined it would be. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Really. \r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s been six years since you left the leadership of FamilyLife. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s been five years since we left the leadership of a church we started thirty years ago. It\u2019s been a hard journey for us. \r\n\r\nAnn: One of the hardest. \r\n\r\nDave: I would say the hardest for me.\r\n\r\nBarbara: Well, ditto. See, I didn\u2019t know that. Isn\u2019t that\u2014that illustrates a part of this situation that we\u2019re all in. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nBarbara: I had no idea this was a big, hard transition for you. \r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s been the hardest thing. \r\n\r\nBarbara: There are plenty of people that would look at us and say, \u201cReally? This has been hard for you?\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: Yes, so talk about that a little bit. \r\n\r\nBarbara: That\u2019s interesting, isn\u2019t it?\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: I want to hear about the hard journey you\u2019ve been on. \r\n\r\nBarbara: One of the more difficult things has been, what we\u2019ve now come to understand as, the loss of identity. That\u2019s what you\u2019re experiencing, too. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Because you have this certain sense of identity as a mom. I\u2019ve been a mom all these years to these six kids. Then, when they\u2019re all gone, and you hit the empty nest, it\u2019s all of a sudden: \u201cWho am I now, and what do I do with my life?\u201d That\u2019s a loss of identity. \r\n\r\nAnn: For sure. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Dennis and I, for sure, went through that when we left FamilyLife because for 40 years he had been the President of FamilyLife. He had hosted the broadcast, He\u2019d been\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: He started it. You both started it. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Yes, he started it. He got calls every day, people sending books every day, and people asking him to speak forever and ever. \r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nBarbara: He was just constantly saying, \u201cNo,\u201d and it was like, all of a sudden, the spigots got turned off on everything. \r\n\r\nWe were sitting at home saying, \u201cWell, now what?\u201d and \u201cWho are we?\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: Yes, right.\r\n\r\nBarbara: And \u201cGod, what do You have for us?\u201d There\u2019s no answer from God as to what He has for us. We\u2019re waiting for an answer: \u201cWhat do You have?\u201d Here we are six years [out], and we\u2019re still not sure what God has, so we just keep going a day at a time. \r\n\r\nThat\u2019s a real, significant disappointment in all of our lives when we come to those places where our circumstances change, and we are not quite the same as we were before. In the course of this, I realized one day that that was what I was struggling with; about a year and a half into this. I went to my office where I\u2019ve got all my favorite books. I pulled A Grace Disguised off the shelf, by Dr. Jerry Sittser. He\u2019s been on the broadcast before. \r\n\r\nAnn: What an interesting title, \u201cA Grace Disguised.\u201d \r\n\r\nBarbara: I think that\u2019s part of what we\u2019re talking about. God takes us to these hard places, and it\u2019s a grace for us, but we don\u2019t see it that way. \r\n\r\nAnn: Not at all. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Yet, He\u2019s trying to take us to the grace part. The first thing I did, when I grabbed that book, was I read the whole thing; but the chapter that stood out to me was the one on a loss of identity. When I read it, I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s what we\u2019re feeling.\u201d That\u2019s what both of us were feeling, and we couldn\u2019t put a name on it. I gave him the book, and I said, \u201cYou have to read this! You just have to read it,\u201d and he did. \r\n\r\nThere have been so many adjustments, and a lot of them are wrapped up in the loss of identity. But we\u2019ve been trying to figure out, \u201cWho are we?\u201d because we\u2019re different people than we were with the FamilyLife umbrella\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014yes\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014and the FamilyLife family surrounding us. Those people weren\u2019t there; the umbrella wasn\u2019t there; the job description wasn\u2019t there. We didn\u2019t get up and go every day. It was a big adjustment to figure out who we are, \u201cWhat does God want us to do?\u201d and \u201cHow are we going to live life now?\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: A lot of that\u2014we experienced the same thing. \r\n\r\nBarbara: I bet you did. \r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s interesting, being a chaplain for an NFL team for years, three decades, I would say to guys as they walked out of the NFL, either retired or injured or cut: \u201cThis isn\u2019t who you are. This was never your identity,\u201d and then it happened to me. To say that to somebody else, and then to look in the mirror and say: \u201cOkay, do I believe that I am a valuable person in the world without\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014without this.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014a stage to walk on, and people looking at me and saying, \u2018Open the Word of God for us please\u2019?\u201d I didn\u2019t\u2019 have that anymore.\r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m thinking that same thing. When we had three boys five and under, and it was absolute chaos, I remember thinking to myself, \u201cI don\u2019t even have a life anymore.\u201d But then, when they were all gone, I remember saying to Dave, \u201cThat was the best part of my life.\u201d [Laughter] \r\n\r\nBarbara: [Laughing] Isn\u2019t that funny!?\r\n\r\nAnn: I thought, \u201cNow who am I?\u201d I finally got good at it. I felt confident! And now, they\u2019re gone. \u201cNow who am I?\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019m over here saying, \u201cI\u2019m here. I\u2019m not important?\u201d \r\n\r\nBarbara: I know. Dennis said the same thing! [Laughter] He has said the exact same thing: \u201cHi, I\u2019m here.\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: Yes. \r\n\r\nAnn: We\u2019re saying this identity crisis can follow us. So, the question is: what have you discovered?\r\n\r\nBarbara: I think what God wants us to discover in all of this that He is sufficient. We preach it all the time; we tell people. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes, we know it in the head.\r\n\r\nBarbara: You told the athletes, right? But He\u2019s saying, \u201cNow, let Me show you that I am all you need, and I am sufficient.\u201d \r\n\r\nHe takes us to these places, and He waits for us to hit the wall or come to the end of ourselves or whatever, and then, like Job, He says, \u201cOkay, let Me show you a thing or two.\u201d He rights our ship, and He lets us know a little bit more\u2014a little peak more into\u2014who He is. \r\n\r\nWe forget\u2014this is one of the things I\u2019m realizing; we forget\u2014as believers, Who we worship. We forget who God is. We forget that He is mysterious. We want Him to be tangible, touchable, and [someone we can] figure out. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nBarbara: We forget that He is almighty; we forget that He is beyond comprehension. We relate to Him and treat Him, in a sense, as if He\u2019s like us. \r\n\r\nI think God is constantly trying to change that perception and say, \u201cNo, no, no. That\u2019s not who I am. I want you to see that I\u2019m grand and that I\u2019m the Almighty,\u201d which is, again, what He did with Job. He showed a glimpse of Himself to Job, and Job\u2019s response was, \u201cI repent. Now I see You as You are.\u201d [Job 42:5-6, Paraphrased]\r\n\r\nI think God, sincerely, because He loves us and wants a relationship with us, He wants us to see Him as He is. It\u2019s the essence of marriage, right? \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes. \r\n\r\nBarbara: You want to know the person you\u2019re married to, and really know him and really know her. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s any different with God. He wants us to really know Him as He is. \r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m thinking that\u2019s probably what happened to you and Dennis in these last six years. You probably know one another in an even deeper way. \r\n\r\nBarbara: We know each other much better, yes. \r\n\r\nAnn: The same thing happens with God as we lean into Him. \r\n\r\nBarbara, one of the things I\u2019ve always loved about you is you love God\u2019s Word. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Yes. \r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m looking at your Bible that\u2019s all marked up. As you\u2019ve read Scripture, I know that has ministered to you\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014yes, yes. \r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014as you\u2019ve gone through this identity crisis. \r\n\r\nDave: And I\u2019ll just add, as I said yesterday, I read your blog. You bring insights to the Word of God. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes. \r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s one of the reasons I keep reading. I think, \u201cI didn\u2019t see that.\u201d \r\n\r\nBarbara: Thank you. \r\n\r\nDave: You, even in this area of disappointment with God, I\u2019ve already read it, but I want our listeners to hear your insights on Mary and Martha. \r\n\r\nBarbara: The story of Mary and Martha is the one at the end of the book of John. We know about the first encounter when Martha was in the kitchen, and she was complaining, and Jesus said, \u201cMartha, Martha, Mary has chosen the better\u2026.\u201d [Luke 10:41-42, Paraphrased]\r\n\r\nBut in the book of John, He takes almost an entire chapter, chapter 11, and he tells the story of when Lazarus died. Jesus had not come when they first asked Him to come. They thought He was going to come immediately because he was their friend. \r\n\r\nAnn: They\u2019re good friends. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Good friends! And He loved Mary and Martha. Mary and Martha knew that Jesus loved them. When He finally came, Lazarus had been in the grave four days. When Martha heard that Jesus was there, that He had finally come, she jumped up and ran down the road, and met Him, and got in His face\u2014again, this is amazing to me\u2014she said, and I imagine with great passion, and maybe even anger: \u201cJesus, if You had been here, he would not have died!\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes!\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u201cWhy didn\u2019t You come? I thought You loved me; I thought You loved us. Why did You not come?\u201d [John 11:21, Paraphrased]\r\n\r\nWhat is so interesting about that is that He came, and she said that to Him, and then, she said: \u201cEven now, I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You.\u201d [John 11:22]\r\n\r\nThen Jesus said to her, \u201cYour brother shall rise again.\u201d [John 11:23, Paraphrased]\r\n\r\nThen Martha said to Him\u2014I imagine this with some passion and emotion; she said to Him\u2014\u201cI know that he will rise again on the last day!\u201d [John 11:24, Paraphrased] as if to say, \u201cCome on, I know that! Don\u2019t tell me something I already know.\u201d Maybe that isn\u2019t the way it happened, but\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014that\u2019s how I would have said it. \r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014that\u2019s just how I picture myself feeling, even if I didn\u2019t say it. \r\n\r\nAnn: I would have said it.\r\n\r\nBarbara: Then Jesus said to her, \u201cI am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me shall live even if he dies.\u201d [John 11:25, Paraphrased]\r\n\r\nMartha is kind of getting calmed down. She heard the Master speak, and she heard Him say, \u201cI am the resurrection and the life.\u201d That had to have gotten her attention, because when Jesus said, \u201cI am\u2026,\u201d she knew what that meant. I think that softened her. Then she responded to Him and said, \u201cYes, Lord\u201d\u2014and I hear humility now\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014yes\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014\u201cI have believed that You are the Christ, the Son of God, even He who comes into the world.\u201d [John 11:27]\r\n\r\nIt was like she saw Jesus and remembered who He was. She said, \u201cI will trust You.\u201d She didn\u2019t say that, but that was her heart attitude. He brought her to a place of saying, \u201cI trust You.\u201d \r\n\r\nThen\u2014this is what\u2019s so cool, Jesus said to Martha, \u201cCall your sister. Where is Mary? Call your sister.\u201d Now, that is not in Scripture, but we know He said that because Martha left Jesus, and she went away and called Mary saying, \u201cThe Teacher is here, and He is calling for you.\u201d [John 11:28, Paraphrased]\r\n\r\nThat just gives me chills when I read it\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014yes\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014because Mary didn\u2019t go. She heard that Jesus had come, and she didn\u2019t go. Why didn\u2019t Mary go? Why did only Martha get up and run? They are two very different people; that\u2019s why. Martha is bold; she\u2019s in charge; she\u2019s the eldest. She wanted to get the facts. She wanted to confront Jesus and find out, \u201cWhy were You not here?\u201d \r\n\r\nBut Mary\u2014Mary was the sensitive one. She was the one who sat at His feet and listened. I think Mary was so crushed and so wounded and so disappointed in God that she couldn\u2019t get up off the floor; she couldn\u2019t get up out of the fetal position on her chair or couch. I think she thought: \u201cWell, Jesus is here, but it\u2019s too late. He could have fixed this.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: She probably felt so hopeless. \r\n\r\nBarbara: I think she felt terribly hopeless and defeated. \r\n\r\nSo, Martha comes; she says to Mary: \u201cThe Teacher is here, and He\u2019s calling for you.\u201d I just love that about Jesus, because I imagine that\u2019s what He\u2019s saying to all of us every day in every situation: \u201cThe Teacher is here, and He\u2019s calling for you.\u201d \r\n\r\nThe question is: will we get up and go? \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nBarbara: But Mary did. Mary got up and went. \u201cAnd when she heard it, she arose quickly and came to him.\u201d [John 11:29, Paraphrased] \r\n\r\nThen it says, \u201cNow Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still in the place where Martha had met him\u201d [John 11:30], which also is very cool. He didn\u2019t move. He stayed in one spot and waited for her. I wonder how long He stood there waiting for her, but I think He would have [waited].\r\n\r\nDave: You got Ann crying. She\u2019s crying. \r\n\r\nBarbara: I know. \r\n\r\nAnn: In the same way, He\u2019s waiting for us. \r\n\r\nBarbara: He is waiting for us. \r\n\r\nAnn: He\u2019s always there. He\u2019s always waiting for us. \r\n\r\nBarbara: And we think He\u2019s not. \r\n\r\nAnn: [Laughter]Yes!\r\n\r\nBarbara: I just think, \u201cWhat is wrong with me that I forget that He\u2019s waiting for me all the time?\u201d But He is; He\u2019s always waiting for me to come to Him. \r\n\r\n\u201cTherefore, when Mary came to where Jesus was, she saw Him, and she fell at His feet, saying to Him, \u201cLord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.\u201d [John 11:32] Now, those words are identical, word-for-word, with what Martha said, but look at the difference. Martha was standing up, she was attacking Jesus (almost) verbally with her words, \u201cIf you had been here, my brother would not have died.\u201d \r\n\r\nBut Mary is on the ground at His feet and crying, saying, \u201cIf You had been here, he wouldn\u2019t have died.\u201d The difference in these two women, and how they came to Jesus, and what they said is very revealing about how unique we are as people. They were very different sisters. \r\n\r\nDave: And they\u2019re both disappointed. \r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014both disappointed.\r\n\r\nDave: They just expressed it in different ways. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Both expressed it in two very different ways. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u201cWhen Jesus, therefore, saw her weeping, He Himself was moved in His spirit, and He was troubled, and He wept. [John 11:33,35, Paraphrased] What I realize from this story is that, for Martha, Jesus had words, He answered her questions, her intellectual questions; but for Mary, Jesus had tears. He met her with what communicated to her. He cried with her because that was what she needed and that was where she was. He met her in that place of emotion. \r\n\r\nI just love that picture of Jesus. He knows us so individually and so uniquely. He knows what we need, and He meets us where we are. \r\n\r\nDave: You know, it\u2019s interesting to hear you say that, because so often\u2014I\u2019m guessing I preached this decades ago\u2014you think, when you read that Jesus wept\u2014everybody says, \u201c[It\u2019s the] shortest verse in the Bible\u2014you have this question of, \u201cWell, He knew what He was going to do, so why is He weeping?\u201d \r\n\r\nBarbara: Why would He weep? Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: You just gave us a perspective that I\u2019ve never heard before. He\u2019s weeping because He\u2019s connecting with the emotion of Mary. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Well, He loves Mary. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: He\u2019s not weeping for a Lazarus who is dead, because He knows\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: No, no.\r\n\r\nDave: He\u2019s connecting to our pain. It\u2019s a beautiful picture!\r\n\r\nBarbara: It is a beautiful picture.\r\n\r\nDave: Our God\u2014if you\u2019re weeping, He\u2019s weeping. He\u2019s with you in that dark place. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Yes, and it\u2019s why, when we go to people (to homes of people) who have lost someone, or they\u2019re in grief, or you go to a hospital room or something, you feel emotion for these people. \r\n\r\nDave: That\u2019s right.\r\n\r\nBarbara: You love them, you hug them; and sometimes, we cry with them. It\u2019s a comfort; it\u2019s identifying and being with that person in their grief. Jesus was with Mary in her grief. \r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m telling you, as you\u2019re reading the story, and you\u2019re sharing this Barbara, I think, \u201cThis is why we have to be in the Word!\u201d\r\n\r\nBarbara: It is why we have to be in the Word.\r\n\r\nAnn: Because we understand, we see who He is; we understand His greatness, His empathy, His kindness, His goodness, His holiness.\r\n\r\nI\u2019ve shared with so many people [that] I have to be in the Word every day, not because I\u2019m holy. It\u2019s because I\u2019m so desperate that I need to know Him!\r\n\r\nBarbara: Exactly!\r\n\r\nAnn: I have so many thoughts that are racing and troubling that the Word grounds me. It makes me see who Jesus is and His love for us; and it's compelling. It makes you fall on your face before Him\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014exactly, exactly. \r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014even in our disappointment, knowing that He weeps with us. \r\n\r\nBarbara: Yes, yes.\r\n\r\nDave: Sometimes, as I think we\u2019ve all experienced, when you\u2019re disappointed and you\u2019re really struggling with God, it\u2019s the last thing you want to do. \u201cI\u2019m not going to open His Word. I\u2019m sort of hurt; I\u2019m mad; I\u2019m in pain.\u201d \r\n\r\nBarbara: Yes. \r\n\r\nDave: \u201cI don\u2019t want to listen to worship music.\u201d It\u2019s almost like [when I say], \u201cI don\u2019t want to work out.\u201d Guess what? Get in the gym!\r\n\r\nBarbara: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s going to be the best thing you can do. Open the Word, even if you can\u2019t see the words because you\u2019re crying so hard, open the Word, or maybe listen to the Word; whatever it takes. You\u2019ve got to let your eyes see Him, because He\u2019s there; He wants to reveal Himself and He will. \r\n\r\nBarbara: And He will, yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: I think we\u2019re all different. I need a friend with me sometimes when I\u2019m so angry. First, though, I need to vent it to God. I think sometimes we can rely on friends and people so much that we don\u2019t go to Jesus and tell Him what we\u2019re thinking and feeling and when we feel His absence, \u201cWhere are You, God?\u201d \r\n\r\nBarbara: Yes, yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: But I have had friends lay their hands on me and pray for me, and all I can do is weep. Sometimes, that\u2019s a really good place\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014yes\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014but other times, I don\u2019t want to be around anybody. \r\n\r\nBarbara: I think the real tragedy for all of us is that we don\u2019t go to Him first. I don\u2019t go to Him first. I freely admit it. I wish it were not so, but my tendency is to try to fix whatever I\u2019m in. I\u2019ll go to the Word, but I don\u2019t necessarily go broken, like Mary and Martha were. I don\u2019t necessarily go and fall before Him as a first response. I think our nature is to try to fix things first, and we end up going to Him second or third or fourth!\r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: I would agree with that. I go to Him when I am out of control, if it\u2019s a sickness or a death where I can\u2019t do anything. But you\u2019re right, if I can have a part of it, I\u2019m all about fixing it myself!\r\n\r\nBarbara: Yes; and He knows that about us.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes!\r\n\r\nBarbara: And He knows that we\u2019re prone to do it on our own first and go to Him last. That\u2019s what the disciples did in the boat. \r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nBarbara: I mean, they rowed, and they rowed, and they rowed. They were trying to fix it and not have to wake Jesus and not bother Jesus. He would say, \u201cWhen are you going to bother me?\u201d I\u2019m sure. \u201cWake me up, and I can fix this.\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: There\u2019s a listener, or thousands, who right now are in the storm, and they feel like God\u2019s asleep\u2014\r\n\r\nBarbara: \u2014oh, I\u2019m sure. \r\n\r\nDave: \u2014or God isn\u2019t\u2014He\u2019s four days away, and it\u2019s too late. \r\n\r\nAnn: Barbara, I would love for you to pray.\r\n\r\nBarbara: I would love to. \r\n\r\nDave: Because their marriage is over, or their child is wayward; whatever it is, they have lost hope. \r\n\r\nAnn: If you\u2019re\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: They\u2019re listening to this, and they need to know that God\u2014everything we said, they need to actually believe today and feel. \r\n\r\nAnn: And if you\u2019re working out, or if you\u2019re walking, stop for a second; not if you\u2019re driving, but maybe pull off the side of the road. But if you\u2019re working out or walking, stop for a second and receive this prayer. \r\n\r\nBarbara: \r\n\r\nLord, God, we love You. We thank You that You have redeemed us. Thank you for the sacrifice of Christ on our behalf.\r\n\r\nBut Father, we come and say we are so often disappointed, we are so often in hard places. We don\u2019t know what to do, and yet like little children, we frantically try to fix it and put the pieces back together. We work so hard to make everything better.\r\n\r\nYou\u2019re waiting, like you waited on the road for Martha and for Mary. You wait for us to come to You. You wait for us to say, \u201cJesus, help.\u201d We\u2019re so reluctant to say, \u201cHelp.\u201d Yet, that\u2019s what You long to hear from us.\r\n\r\nFather, I want to pray for listeners who are in seasons of really painful disappointment, difficult circumstances. In the middle of the storm, You want us to say, \u201cHelp, Jesus. Will You help me? Will You give me a glimpse of You? Will You help me to see You and to run to You like Mary and Martha did?\u201d\r\n\r\nI pray, Father, that You will give each one of them courage to go to You. Give them courage to get up out of the chair and write in the journal. Give them courage to get up and get their Bible and start reading the Bible every day. Give them courage to do the thing that they need to do that will connect them to You, because when we get connected to You, the circumstances aren\u2019t going to necessarily change and likely won\u2019t, but what You want us to do in the middle of those circumstances that don\u2019t change is You want us to say, \u201cHelp, Jesus,\u201d and \u201cI trust You,\u201d and \u201cI will wait for You to work out whatever it is You\u2019re going to work out.\u201d\r\n\r\nWe forget how near You are; we forget how much You love us. But I pray that you will help us to come to You more and more quickly and more often, and that we will know You as You are and not as we hope that you will be or pretend that You are, but we will know You as You really are. May it be for our good and Your glory. We ask in Jesus\u2019s Name. Amen.\r\n\r\nAnn: Amen.\r\n\r\nDave: Amen. \r\n\r\nShelby: How blessed we have been today with Dave and Ann Wilson as they\u2019ve been joined by the co-founder of FamilyLife Today, Barbara Rainey. \r\n\r\nI\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and I wanted to let you know that this weekend coming up tonight and going all the way through Sunday, we want to ask you to pray for the upcoming Weekend to Remember\u00ae event that\u2019s happening in Scottsdale, Arizona. From tonight, all the way through Sunday, couples are getting together to work on their marriages, grow closer to one another and, of course, grow closer to God. \r\n\r\nIf that sounds like something that you would want to do, too, I wanted to you know that there are over 80 dates and locations available nationwide for FamilyLife\u2019s Weekend to Remember marriage getaway. You have the flexibility to choose a venue that suits you the best and, whether you prefer a local retreat or a destination weekend, there is something for everyone. \r\n\r\nIf you want more details, and you want to explore all the locations where the Weekend to Remember is, you can head over to FamilyLifeToday.com and check out the show notes.\r\n\r\nI wanted to also let you know that season four of Married with Benefits\u00ae is hosted by Brian Goins, and he\u2019s joined again this season by Harvard-trained researcher and author Shaunti Feldhahn. \r\n\r\nThey\u2019re talking this season about the surprising secret of highly happy marriages; the little things that make a difference. You can subscribe now to Married with Benefits wherever you get your podcasts or head over to our YouTube\u00ae channel; just search for FamilyLife\u2019s Married with Benefits. \r\n\r\nNow, coming up next week, Dave and Ann Wilson are joined by Dr. Gary Chapman. He\u2019s going to talk about five traits of a healthy family. That\u2019s next week. We hope you\u2019ll join us. \r\n\r\nOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?  \r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife                                 \r\n\r\n\n","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/281929","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=281929"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280865"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=281929"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=281929"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=281929"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=281929"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=281929"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=281929"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}