{"id":280474,"date":"2023-08-14T09:15:00","date_gmt":"2023-08-14T13:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/lies-girls-believe-dannah-gresh\/"},"modified":"2025-04-22T13:12:13","modified_gmt":"2025-04-22T17:12:13","slug":"lies-girls-believe-dannah-gresh","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lies-girls-believe-dannah-gresh\/","title":{"rendered":"Lies Girls Believe: Dannah Gresh"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>What are your daughter&#8217;s emotions telling you about her inner world? Author Dannah Gresh chats about the lies our girls believe, the powerful emotions they face, and how to deal in healthy ways with both.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><strong fetchpriority=\"high\"><em>When He created the world, He looked at the world and said, \u201cIt is good.\u201d That included our emotions, our joy, our happiness, our hopefulness. Even our anger and our sadness can be good when used in the right way, because emotions are a message. &#8212; Dannah Gresh<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What are your daughter&#8217;s emotions telling you about her inner world? Author Dannah Gresh chats about the lies our girls believe, the powerful emotions they face, and how to deal in healthy ways with both. When He created the world, He looked at the world &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280865,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/03e283ad-922d-4471-ac0a-b154011e0b27\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:29","filesize":"26.11M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2023-08-14 09:15:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[],"tags":[2275],"podcast_series":[8662],"cwp_profile":[3154],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-280474","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-lies-girls-believe","podcast_series-lies-girls-believe-dannah-gresh","cwp_profile-dannah-gresh","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/280474\/lies-girls-believe-dannah-gresh","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/280474\/lies-girls-believe-dannah-gresh","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"vwabfrgmvh\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lies-girls-believe-dannah-gresh\/\">Lies Girls Believe: Dannah Gresh<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lies-girls-believe-dannah-gresh\/embed\/#?secret=vwabfrgmvh\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Lies Girls Believe: Dannah Gresh&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"vwabfrgmvh\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["MS-012619"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/03e283ad-922d-4471-ac0a-b154011e0b27\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:28:29"],"filesize":["26.11M"],"_thumbnail_id":["280865"],"show_notes":["<p>Connect with Dannah at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nowthatwereafamily.com\/\">dannahgresh.com<\/a>, and be sure to catch to <a href=\"https:\/\/dannahgresh.com\/podcasts\/\">her podcast.<\/a><br \/>\nGrab her book, <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/lies-girls-believe-and-the-truth-that-sets-them-free\">Lies Girls Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free<\/a> in our shop.<br \/>\nIntrigued by today's episode? Think more about the lies you might be believing in Dannah's blog post, <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/life-issues\/challenges\/media-and-entertainment\/are-you-believing-lies-about-media\/\">Are You Believing Lies about Media?<\/a><br \/>\nGrab 25% off all FamilyLife's small-group studies at\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/group-studies\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a><br \/>\nFind resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><br \/>\nFind more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<br \/>\nHelp others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<br \/>\nCheck out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/p>\n"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2023-08-14.pdf"],"transcript_content":["<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Lies Girls Believe<\/p>\n<p>Guest:Dannah Gresh<\/p>\n<p>From the series:Lies Girls Believe (Day 1 of 2)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:August 14, 2023<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Recently TIME Magazine published an article about the epidemic our teen girls are facing in the United States, and even our pre-teen girls. Are you ready for this?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t think I want to hear it.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on the FamilyLife\u00ae app. This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: These are the findings that came from the CDC which stated that teen girls are now in crisis. One in three girls considered suicide in 2021. Let that just sink in. One in three girls considered suicide.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Are you sure this is accurate? That\u2019s so high.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This makes me teary, reading it, thinking of my granddaughters. And it said that\u2019s a 60 percent increase since 2011, and it also said more girls are feeling so sad and hopeless that they can\u2019t even engage in normal activities. I\u2019m not kidding. I\u2019m teary right now, because\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You\u2019re thinking of\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014our young women\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Olive and Autumn.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes. And I\u2019ve talked to so many moms of teen girls and preteen girls that are at their wits end. They don\u2019t know what to do, because their daughters are believing a lot of lies, and our culture is speaking lies and telling them lies. And we as women think, \u201cWe want to go to war and battle for our daughters,\u201d but we\u2019re not always sure how to go about that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So today we have hope.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We do have hope. We have Dannah Gresh with us today. Dannah, I\u2019m so glad that you are here!<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: I am so glad to be here. You are already stirring my heart up.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Really?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: I\u2019m getting on my soap box.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Oh, good. You just get right up on it, because I want to talk about it. We\u2019re going to talk about this, and what an appropriate name for your book called Lies Girls Believe. I think many of our listeners have probably read Lies Women Believe. Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth wrote that book, and I went through that. I bet a lot of women have gone through that.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Dannah, you do a podcast with her.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes, I do. Revive Our Hearts\u2122. I\u2019m her co-host.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: How long have you done that together?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: I guess we\u2019re going on three, four years now. I\u2019m not quite sure, but we\u2019ve done stuff together since 2008. I wrote Lies Young Women Believe for teen girls because about 1.5 million women have been set free through the pages of Lies Women Believe.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: You have that documented?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes. It\u2019s probably closer to two million by now. That would be\u2014several years ago it was 1.5 million. Incredible freedom, and many of them said, \u201cWell, my lies started when I was a teenager,\u201d or \u201cMy lies started when I was ten years old.\u201d So we\u2019ve been working to kind of just bring that truth to girls in an age-appropriate way, because the crisis you\u2019re talking about, that number doesn\u2019t surprise me, because in the years that I was writing this book, right about that time, right before 2021, we were seeing the number of E.R. visits for poisoning, burning, self-harm for nine- to thirteen-year-old girls rising.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Nine to thirteen.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Nine- to thirteen-year-old girls! And the average girl in the nine to seventeen range scored so high in an anxiety test that in 1957 they would have put that girl in in-patient treatment for mental health care.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Come on.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: But today it\u2019s so common, we just think, \u201cOh, that\u2019s pretty normal. That\u2019s normal for teen and tween girls, so just keep going.\u201d But normal is not okay when it\u2019s that.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, that\u2019s not normal. So Lies Girls Believe, and the Truth that Sets Them Free is for the age of\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Seven to twelve.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Seven to twelve.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Eight to twelve, yes. Somewhere in that range.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: What do you think is going on?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Well, here\u2019s what Nancy identified, is that lies always have two evidences. One evidence is sin, right? The very first sin ever committed, we read about it in the book of Genesis, Satan lies to Eve in the form of the snake, and she believes the lie. Because she believed the lie, she acts in disobedience against God. So sin is one evidence of a lie. But the other thing that we don\u2019t really notice in there, but there\u2019s a lot of insecurity in there.<\/p>\n<p>She thinks, \u201cWow, really? God\u2019s withholding something good from me? Because Satan\u2019s saying, \u2018Hey, listen. God knows that if you eat from this tree you\u2019re going to be just like Him.\u2019\u201d She has emotions that are not written about on the page, but we can kind of read between the lines and know she had to feel some insecurity to believe that lie. \u201cWell, maybe that\u2019s true. I\u2019m doubting God. I\u2019m feeling insecure and inferior myself, so I\u2019m going to eat.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So the good news about that is that before our daughters sin because they believe the lie, they\u2019re going to give us the tell-tale sign of what I call \u201csticky emotions.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I thought this was genius. Listen up. This is really good.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Okay, if you think it\u2019s genius, you need to know that it was actually my husband\u2019s idea.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: There we go! We knew we loved Bob.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Hey, you know what? We\u2019re going to edit that out. [Laughter] Just own it. It\u2019s yours.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We love Bob.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: I asked, \u201cWhat do we call this, for the eight- to twelve-year-old girls, when an emotion is unhealthy?\u201d But a sticky emotion is an emotion that sticks to you and it won\u2019t go away, or you\u2019re not sure why it\u2019s there, because emotions are a good gift from God, right? When He created the world, He looked at the world and said, \u201cIt is good.\u201d That included our emotions, our joy, our happiness, our hopefulness. Even our anger and our sadness can be good when used in the right way, because emotions are a message.<\/p>\n<p>They\u2019re a message from God, and when those emotions are not fun ones, like stress, for example, that sends you the signal that, \u201cOh, your daughter is stressed out.\u201d If you do less, if she\u2019s not in before-school activities and after-school activities and travel soccer team on the weekends, and she does less, that emotion will depart because the message was read and responded to and it\u2019s not needed anymore.<\/p>\n<p>But I think all of us have been on vacation, eating bonbons and have a pi\u00f1a colada and our feet up, and we still feel stressed out. That\u2019s probably because something is really out of order in our life, and it might be because we\u2019re believing a lie about our life, about ourselves, about God, about our world.<\/p>\n<p>So if we can teach girls how to identify those sticky emotions and recognize them as an evidence of a lie, and then trace them to see what that lie is and replace them with truth, we can help them experience freedom in Christ.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is one of my passions, for not just young girls, but women.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It\u2019s amazing how many women are living with lies every day. They\u2019ve been doing it so long, they don\u2019t even recognize it as a lie.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: If you can help your daughter learn how to understand her sticky emotions now, you\u2019re not just helping her behave better today and not sin tomorrow, but you\u2019re helping her thirty years down the road\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: To be a healthy woman of God.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes, yes. A healthy mom, a healthy wife.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Free, living in freedom.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Living in freedom.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And in some ways, you\u2019re stopping a legacy.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes, a lot of times.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: If a girl grows up and is a mom, she\u2019s not going to pass it to the next generation. If she doesn\u2019t, or he doesn\u2019t, we pass it.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What are some of the warning signs for moms, if they\u2019re listening, as they think, \u201cMy daughter is actually ____. Her stomach\u2019s upset before she goes to school.\u201d Are there things that moms and dads should be looking for in our kids that maybe our girls are believing lies?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes, I think any time there\u2019s a chronic negative emotion that either doesn\u2019t go away, no matter what you do. For example, a girl who\u2019s fearful even when she\u2019s completely safe or you don\u2019t understand why it\u2019s there. Again, she\u2019s fearful, doesn\u2019t know why. I was just in Colorado Springs a few weeks ago and heard about a True Girl\u2014that\u2019s the name of my ministry for tween girls\u2014who was having trouble with sleeping.<\/p>\n<p>She was terrified that someone was going to sneak into her bedroom at night and steal her. This wasn\u2019t rational at all. Now, the funny thing is, the mom was a trauma therapist, a Christian trauma therapist, and she said, \u201cI don\u2019t know how to help her.\u201d Can you imagine how horrible that must feel as a mom?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And I think for other moms, like \u201cWait. If she can\u2019t help her, who can?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: And here\u2019s the thing: sometimes the person we\u2019re least objective with is our own children, right?<\/p>\n<p>Ann and Dave: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: So I was able to go to her. This is a weird thing, but I had Covid 18 months ago and since then I\u2019ve had chronic anxiety at night. It\u2019s physiological. The doctors say it\u2019s a melatonin problem. I\u2019m almost asleep, and then I wake up fearful. So I have had to be like, \u201cOkay, this is a physiological thing. It\u2019s not even an emotional thing. It\u2019s completely medical,\u201d but I\u2019ve had to go to the Word of God.<\/p>\n<p>I memorized Psalm 91. Whenever I wake up\u2014in the beginning I would wake up and for two hours I would be terrified in my bed at night, because I would think, \u201cSomething\u2019s really wrong.\u201d I don\u2019t think I was having panic attacks, but I was having something like that. And now I\u2019m waking up and quoting Psalm 91.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Can you quote some of it to us?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: \u201cHe who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, \u2018My Rock and my Refuge, My God.\u2019\u201d And if you go on, it says, \u201cI will not fear the terror of night. I will not fear the terror of night,\u201d and I can do the whole Psalm, but I just start to recite that in my mind, and I fall asleep in five or ten minutes.<\/p>\n<p>So I go to this girl and I say to her, \u201cI hear you\u2019re having a hard time sleeping.\u201d Because I say to the mom when I meet her, \u201cWhere\u2019s your daughter?\u201d It was a snow day in Colorado Springs, so I asked, \u201cIs she at home today because it\u2019s a snow day?\u201d She said, \u201cYes.\u201d I said, \u201cWe\u2019re going to pray for her. Take me to her.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is the warrior in women that comes out. \u201cI\u2019m going to protect my girls.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: My husband is looking at me, because I am not Miss Spontaneous, not like he is, like \u201cWe\u2019re going where?\u201d I said, \u201cWe\u2019re going to go pray for that girl.\u201d So I just tell her my story. I say, \u201cListen, there was not truth to my fear. Is there truth to your fear? When you\u2019re afraid somebody is going to steal you, has that ever happened?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What a good question. And you\u2019re not saying, \u201cThere\u2019s no truth to your fear.\u201d You\u2019re asking her.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: I\u2019m asking her, \u201cIs there truth to your fear?\u201d She says \u201cNo.\u201d I asked, \u201cHas anybody ever come into your room and stolen you?\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cHave you ever known anyone that\u2019s been stolen?\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cHave you read about it in the news?\u201d \u201cWell, not really.\u201d I said, \u201cWell, because it could happen. It has happened, but it\u2019s probably not going to happen to you. Does your house have locks on it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes.\u201d \u201cDoes your house have an alarm system?\u201d \u201cYes, we actually have video cameras.\u201d \u201cOkay, so maybe, like me, your emotion isn\u2019t telling you the truth.\u201d She said, \u201cOhhh.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So I invited her to learn Psalm 91 with me. This is a nine-year-old girl. I prayed with her, and several weeks later her mom said, \u201cShe\u2019s memorized Psalm 91, and she\u2019s sleeping like a baby every night.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Wow.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: That\u2019s just how it works. That\u2019s a simple example of it. Sometimes it\u2019s a lot harder because there is a real fear or there is a real hurt, but it was interpreted in the wrong way.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: But you\u2019re right, Dannah. I have sexual abuse in my background, and so I can remember one time that it happened, my mind twisted, and I thought, \u201cSomething must be wrong with me. This must be my fault. This is something that I do.\u201d So you don\u2019t even realize that just becomes this lie of unworthiness and shame. And then you just carry it into adulthood, and now I\u2019m having consequences of these lies that I\u2019m hearing in my head over these years.<\/p>\n<p>So if we can get our girls to identify and talk about the things that they\u2019re hearing or the lies that they\u2019re dealing with, what a freedom.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: What a freedom. And even something like that, such a severe trauma, such a severe pain, the Word tells us we can have victory over that.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes. And I have found freedom and victory.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Praise the Lord. Amen.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: But it\u2019s taken work, too.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Sure. It does take work. But Jesus said, \u201cYou will know the truth and the truth will set you free.\u201d He said, \u201cIf you\u2019re truly my disciples, you will abide in My Word, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.\u201d Let me ask you this: Was some of your work getting in the Word and saturating your heart with the truth of the Scriptures?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Dave knows this. I could not exist without the power of God\u2019s Word. It\u2019s not that I should read it; it\u2019s my food every day. It sets me free every day. It reminds me of God\u2019s goodness, His grace, and His unconditional love, and His power that has set me free. So the answer is yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So that\u2019s truth replacing lies. Is that what you\u2019re saying?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes. We have to take what is true in the Word and replace it with whatever emotional sticky feelings we have. Now, not all the time is the sticky feeling a lie.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: But a lot of times we are allowing the emotion to become the boss of us, rather than using it as a messenger.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s a good way to put it.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: And saying, \u201cOkay, God has given me stress,\u201d or \u201cGod has given me guilt. What is He trying to tell me through this?\u201d And you go to the Word and you learn what it\u2019s for, and then the emotion goes away. That\u2019s how it\u2019s supposed to work. We should feel guilt, we should feel anger, we should feel fear. When a bear is chasing me, I want to feel fear, right? Because that\u2019s what makes me respond to it.<\/p>\n<p>But when we just feel and we don\u2019t do anything about it, that\u2019s when sometimes they can settle in and become lies. If you don\u2019t deal with that lie when it\u2019s small and manageable, it does grow and become far more damaging in our lives.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And it spills into every area of our lives.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Absolutely.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So is a seven-year-old, ten-year-old girl or boy able to identify the lies on their own, or do they need somebody to help them?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: They do need help. That\u2019s why we wrote the book, and that\u2019s why we wrote A Mom\u2019s Guide to Lies Girls Believe, because we want Mom to be the one to help her.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This book is beautiful. I wish all of you could see it. I hope you\u2019ll all buy it, because it\u2019s a workbook, and it\u2019s beautifully written and illustrated, and there are great questions. I like that it has a theme of Zoe. Now I realize that\u2019s your granddaughter.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Well, I didn\u2019t know I was going to have a granddaughter named Zoe when I wrote the book. She was born a year later, and named Zoe. That\u2019s kind of cool.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Ohhh. Why did you decide to use this little girl named Zoe?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Well, Zoe shows up at the beginning of each chapter, and it\u2019s kind of just a story-form chapter book type writing.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Let me read the introduction to Zoe. \u201cMeet Zoe.\u201d She\u2019s so cute. She has a little picture. \u201cShe\u2019s a girl whose name means \u2018life.\u2019 She\u2019s going to join us as we explore these sticky feelings, the lies they reveal, and God\u2019s truth. And we\u2019re going to start with the very first woman who believed the very first lie. So what are you waiting for? Let\u2019s get started.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes. So Zoe shows up at the beginning of every chapter. There\u2019s a cute little drawing of her. She has a problem, and the girls have to help solve that problem by telling her what the truth is. There are pages at the end of the chapter that say, \u201cZoe has believed what lie?\u201d and they identify the lie. \u201cWhat Bible verse do you think Zoe needs to meditate and think about truth?\u201d And they write in the Bible verse that they would have found in that chapter.<\/p>\n<p>But what we\u2019re doing is we\u2019re putting them in the driver\u2019s seat of being the counselor and the advisor, because sometimes it\u2019s a little easier to be objective and learn the process when it\u2019s not your own lies you\u2019re identifying. And then hopefully at the end of the book we do give her the tools so she can start establishing that habit and practice for her own life.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: How many truths and lies do you have that Zoe deals with?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: The book deals with twenty. We surveyed 1500 church-going tween girls, because we wanted to make sure that the lies that we introduced in the book were lies that they really were struggling with. And then we narrowed that down to twenty that were really popping up pretty consistently, lies like \u201cIt\u2019s not that great to be a girl.\u201d \u201cBoys and girls aren\u2019t that different,\u201d was not the predominant lie, but we were alarmed when roughly just under ten percent of the girls were saying, \u201cYes, I believe that lie.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>These are seven- to ten-year-old girls five years ago, and that\u2019s gotten worse in five years, very rapidly.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, I was going to say, if that\u2019s five years old\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: The survey is five years old.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Would you jump into gender dysphoria today?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: We do jump into it in there. We knew it was coming. I\u2019ve been studying that. I was part of a think tank on binary 15 years ago, before it was in the news, binary and non-binary language.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Wow.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: And so I knew that this was coming fast and furious. We don\u2019t talk about the lies in there. We don\u2019t talk about transgenderism or pronouns. What we do talk about is that sometimes almost all of us are like, \u201cIt\u2019d be nice to be a boy because boys seem to be stronger athletes. It\u2019d be nice to be a boy because boys seem to get\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201c\u2014they can go to the bathroom outside.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: That is never a thought I ever had, but I\u2019m not going to ask you if it\u2019s a thought you\u2019ve ever had.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It\u2019s one she said.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It\u2019s what my granddaughter just told me. \u201cOh, I wish I could do that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: This is so normal, right? To compare ourselves, right? But with the culture telling all these other lies around those really normal feelings that girls have had for centuries, it can lead to really some scary lies. So we went ahead and said, \u201cLet\u2019s talk about why it\u2019s so great to be a girl.\u201d There\u2019s just some really basic theology in there about God chose two genders, and here\u2019s why. Let\u2019s go back to Genesis 1:26-27, where He says, \u201cIn the image of God, He created them; male and female He created them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now listen, there are so many things that are God-like about us, right? Our language proficiency, the ability to defy gravity and fly to the moon, our creativity, that we can compose sonnets and create great works of art\u2014these are all very God-like qualities. Even the way we have emotions. I\u2019m an animal lover, so I believe animals have emotions. I think they\u2019re adorable and I love them, but we have them in a much more complex, sophisticated way, right? And a much more purposeful way.<\/p>\n<p>So there\u2019s a lot of things about us God could have mentioned when He said, \u201cYou\u2019re in my image,\u201d but He says two things: maleness and femaleness are what display My image in this very critical, foundational verse, and so it must matter that God chose you to be a girl. I like to tell moms one of the most important theological sentences you can say to your children right now is \u201cIt\u2019s great to be a girl,\u201d or \u201cIt\u2019s great to be a boy,\u201d or \u201cGod chose you to be a girl,\u201d \u201cGod chose you to be a boy.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Again, you don\u2019t have to study the counterfeit to plant the truth, and that\u2019s just one of the lies we deal with in the book.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Dannah has some encouragement for moms here in just a second. But you don\u2019t have to study the counterfeits to plant the truth. That connects with me so well, because I feel like so many times I have to study everything that\u2019s going on in the culture and I\u2019m just overwhelmed by it. But no, what we really need to do is just study the truth. Study the truth, plant that in our daughters\u2019 hearts, and that\u2019s what\u2019s actually going to grow, end up being the solution there. It\u2019s just being dedicated to the truth.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m Shelby Abbott and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Dannah Gresh on FamilyLife Today. Dannah has written a book called Lies Girls Believe. There are a ton of things that our daughters face today that are challenging, that the previous generations didn\u2019t face, things like huge anxiety, bullying on social media, and tons of other stuff. I have two daughters, so I think about this quite often, and what I want to do is equip them with the truth.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what this book, Lies Girls Believe does. It helps them understand the truth in order to be able to set them free. You can find a copy of it at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can give us a call at 800-358-6329.<\/p>\n<p>Now is there a chance that you could lead a small group growing healthier families and deeper knowledge of God in your own personal community? Well the good news is FamilyLife\u2019s Art of Parenting\u00ae small group study can help you with that by giving you principles and practical advice to facilitate meaningful conversations about parenting, and help you dig into God\u2019s Word through a video series that requires zero prep for the study. So you can have more time for actually engaging with your family and your community. Grab 25 percent off before Thursday and preview it in today\u2019s show notes.<\/p>\n<p>Now back to the conversation with Dannah Gresh, and some encouragement for moms.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: As we step away, encourage moms right now who have those daughters between those ages. Why is it so important to talk about these things?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: I think one of the really important reasons we\u2019re going to talk about it is so they can have that long-term freedom. One of the first girls that I mentored believed the lie, \u201cEveryone leaves.\u201d She was in high school; I was in my 20\u2019s. She was just always fearful that I was going to abandon her. Her youth pastor had left her, and then she gets married, she goes away to college, she comes to see me. She\u2019s 25 now, and I\u2019m like, \u201cYou\u2019re still struggling with that, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She said, \u201cI\u2019m terrified my husband is going to leave me.\u201d And we began to pray, because by then I had learned you can know the truth and the truth will set you free. I said, \u201cLet\u2019s try to figure out when you started feeling that way,\u201d and we spent about two hours that night praying. Her lie was attached to her parents\u2019 divorce. She was in sixth or seventh grade, and her mom and dad divorced, and she said, \u201cFrom that night on, I had panic attacks that everyone would leave me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Well the truth is that people will fail you, so where do we go in God\u2019s Word? Well, the verse that God brought to her heart as we prayed for her was \u201cI will never leave you or forsake you.\u201d Being able to be anchored in that changed her forever. One of the ways it manifested was she could never really sleep alone. She had a twin, so she always had a twin in her room, roommates in college, husband. That night she drove 18 hours to go home, and got tired on the way, stopped in a hotel room, never even thought to be afraid, and slept like a baby. That\u2019s how powerful truth can be.<\/p>\n<p>Ann and Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: If we can give our daughters that gift so that they don\u2019t have to go through ten or fifteen years of believing a lie like \u201ceveryone leaves,\u201d but they can live in the security of the truth of God\u2019s Word. That doesn\u2019t mean her life is going to be easy and perfect and there aren\u2019t going to be heartaches. It means she will thrive through them.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: She will thrive through them. That\u2019s what we want, women and our daughters, and men and boys\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: For sure.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014to thrive in the freedom that God brings, through the cross, really.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes. It\u2019s all through the cross.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2023 FamilyLife\u00ae. All rights reserved. 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are your daughter's emotions telling you about her inner world? Author Dannah Gresh chats about the lies our girls believe, the powerful emotions they face, and how to deal in healthy ways with both. When He created the world, He looked at the world ...","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<p>Connect with Dannah at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nowthatwereafamily.com\/\">dannahgresh.com<\/a>, and be sure to catch to <a href=\"https:\/\/dannahgresh.com\/podcasts\/\">her podcast.<\/a><br \/>\nGrab her book, <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/lies-girls-believe-and-the-truth-that-sets-them-free\">Lies Girls Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free<\/a> in our shop.<br \/>\nIntrigued by today's episode? Think more about the lies you might be believing in Dannah's blog post, <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/life-issues\/challenges\/media-and-entertainment\/are-you-believing-lies-about-media\/\">Are You Believing Lies about Media?<\/a><br \/>\nGrab 25% off all FamilyLife's small-group studies at\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/group-studies\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a><br \/>\nFind resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><br \/>\nFind more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<br \/>\nHelp others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<br \/>\nCheck out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/p>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2023-08-14.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Lies Girls Believe<\/p>\n<p>Guest:Dannah Gresh<\/p>\n<p>From the series:Lies Girls Believe (Day 1 of 2)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:August 14, 2023<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Recently TIME Magazine published an article about the epidemic our teen girls are facing in the United States, and even our pre-teen girls. Are you ready for this?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t think I want to hear it.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on the FamilyLife\u00ae app. This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: These are the findings that came from the CDC which stated that teen girls are now in crisis. One in three girls considered suicide in 2021. Let that just sink in. One in three girls considered suicide.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Are you sure this is accurate? That\u2019s so high.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This makes me teary, reading it, thinking of my granddaughters. And it said that\u2019s a 60 percent increase since 2011, and it also said more girls are feeling so sad and hopeless that they can\u2019t even engage in normal activities. I\u2019m not kidding. I\u2019m teary right now, because\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You\u2019re thinking of\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014our young women\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Olive and Autumn.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes. And I\u2019ve talked to so many moms of teen girls and preteen girls that are at their wits end. They don\u2019t know what to do, because their daughters are believing a lot of lies, and our culture is speaking lies and telling them lies. And we as women think, \u201cWe want to go to war and battle for our daughters,\u201d but we\u2019re not always sure how to go about that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So today we have hope.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We do have hope. We have Dannah Gresh with us today. Dannah, I\u2019m so glad that you are here!<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: I am so glad to be here. You are already stirring my heart up.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Really?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: I\u2019m getting on my soap box.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Oh, good. You just get right up on it, because I want to talk about it. We\u2019re going to talk about this, and what an appropriate name for your book called Lies Girls Believe. I think many of our listeners have probably read Lies Women Believe. Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth wrote that book, and I went through that. I bet a lot of women have gone through that.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Dannah, you do a podcast with her.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes, I do. Revive Our Hearts\u2122. I\u2019m her co-host.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: How long have you done that together?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: I guess we\u2019re going on three, four years now. I\u2019m not quite sure, but we\u2019ve done stuff together since 2008. I wrote Lies Young Women Believe for teen girls because about 1.5 million women have been set free through the pages of Lies Women Believe.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: You have that documented?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes. It\u2019s probably closer to two million by now. That would be\u2014several years ago it was 1.5 million. Incredible freedom, and many of them said, \u201cWell, my lies started when I was a teenager,\u201d or \u201cMy lies started when I was ten years old.\u201d So we\u2019ve been working to kind of just bring that truth to girls in an age-appropriate way, because the crisis you\u2019re talking about, that number doesn\u2019t surprise me, because in the years that I was writing this book, right about that time, right before 2021, we were seeing the number of E.R. visits for poisoning, burning, self-harm for nine- to thirteen-year-old girls rising.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Nine to thirteen.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Nine- to thirteen-year-old girls! And the average girl in the nine to seventeen range scored so high in an anxiety test that in 1957 they would have put that girl in in-patient treatment for mental health care.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Come on.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: But today it\u2019s so common, we just think, \u201cOh, that\u2019s pretty normal. That\u2019s normal for teen and tween girls, so just keep going.\u201d But normal is not okay when it\u2019s that.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, that\u2019s not normal. So Lies Girls Believe, and the Truth that Sets Them Free is for the age of\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Seven to twelve.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Seven to twelve.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Eight to twelve, yes. Somewhere in that range.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: What do you think is going on?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Well, here\u2019s what Nancy identified, is that lies always have two evidences. One evidence is sin, right? The very first sin ever committed, we read about it in the book of Genesis, Satan lies to Eve in the form of the snake, and she believes the lie. Because she believed the lie, she acts in disobedience against God. So sin is one evidence of a lie. But the other thing that we don\u2019t really notice in there, but there\u2019s a lot of insecurity in there.<\/p>\n<p>She thinks, \u201cWow, really? God\u2019s withholding something good from me? Because Satan\u2019s saying, \u2018Hey, listen. God knows that if you eat from this tree you\u2019re going to be just like Him.\u2019\u201d She has emotions that are not written about on the page, but we can kind of read between the lines and know she had to feel some insecurity to believe that lie. \u201cWell, maybe that\u2019s true. I\u2019m doubting God. I\u2019m feeling insecure and inferior myself, so I\u2019m going to eat.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So the good news about that is that before our daughters sin because they believe the lie, they\u2019re going to give us the tell-tale sign of what I call \u201csticky emotions.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I thought this was genius. Listen up. This is really good.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Okay, if you think it\u2019s genius, you need to know that it was actually my husband\u2019s idea.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: There we go! We knew we loved Bob.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Hey, you know what? We\u2019re going to edit that out. [Laughter] Just own it. It\u2019s yours.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We love Bob.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: I asked, \u201cWhat do we call this, for the eight- to twelve-year-old girls, when an emotion is unhealthy?\u201d But a sticky emotion is an emotion that sticks to you and it won\u2019t go away, or you\u2019re not sure why it\u2019s there, because emotions are a good gift from God, right? When He created the world, He looked at the world and said, \u201cIt is good.\u201d That included our emotions, our joy, our happiness, our hopefulness. Even our anger and our sadness can be good when used in the right way, because emotions are a message.<\/p>\n<p>They\u2019re a message from God, and when those emotions are not fun ones, like stress, for example, that sends you the signal that, \u201cOh, your daughter is stressed out.\u201d If you do less, if she\u2019s not in before-school activities and after-school activities and travel soccer team on the weekends, and she does less, that emotion will depart because the message was read and responded to and it\u2019s not needed anymore.<\/p>\n<p>But I think all of us have been on vacation, eating bonbons and have a pi\u00f1a colada and our feet up, and we still feel stressed out. That\u2019s probably because something is really out of order in our life, and it might be because we\u2019re believing a lie about our life, about ourselves, about God, about our world.<\/p>\n<p>So if we can teach girls how to identify those sticky emotions and recognize them as an evidence of a lie, and then trace them to see what that lie is and replace them with truth, we can help them experience freedom in Christ.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is one of my passions, for not just young girls, but women.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It\u2019s amazing how many women are living with lies every day. They\u2019ve been doing it so long, they don\u2019t even recognize it as a lie.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: If you can help your daughter learn how to understand her sticky emotions now, you\u2019re not just helping her behave better today and not sin tomorrow, but you\u2019re helping her thirty years down the road\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: To be a healthy woman of God.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes, yes. A healthy mom, a healthy wife.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Free, living in freedom.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Living in freedom.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And in some ways, you\u2019re stopping a legacy.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes, a lot of times.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: If a girl grows up and is a mom, she\u2019s not going to pass it to the next generation. If she doesn\u2019t, or he doesn\u2019t, we pass it.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What are some of the warning signs for moms, if they\u2019re listening, as they think, \u201cMy daughter is actually ____. Her stomach\u2019s upset before she goes to school.\u201d Are there things that moms and dads should be looking for in our kids that maybe our girls are believing lies?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes, I think any time there\u2019s a chronic negative emotion that either doesn\u2019t go away, no matter what you do. For example, a girl who\u2019s fearful even when she\u2019s completely safe or you don\u2019t understand why it\u2019s there. Again, she\u2019s fearful, doesn\u2019t know why. I was just in Colorado Springs a few weeks ago and heard about a True Girl\u2014that\u2019s the name of my ministry for tween girls\u2014who was having trouble with sleeping.<\/p>\n<p>She was terrified that someone was going to sneak into her bedroom at night and steal her. This wasn\u2019t rational at all. Now, the funny thing is, the mom was a trauma therapist, a Christian trauma therapist, and she said, \u201cI don\u2019t know how to help her.\u201d Can you imagine how horrible that must feel as a mom?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And I think for other moms, like \u201cWait. If she can\u2019t help her, who can?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: And here\u2019s the thing: sometimes the person we\u2019re least objective with is our own children, right?<\/p>\n<p>Ann and Dave: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: So I was able to go to her. This is a weird thing, but I had Covid 18 months ago and since then I\u2019ve had chronic anxiety at night. It\u2019s physiological. The doctors say it\u2019s a melatonin problem. I\u2019m almost asleep, and then I wake up fearful. So I have had to be like, \u201cOkay, this is a physiological thing. It\u2019s not even an emotional thing. It\u2019s completely medical,\u201d but I\u2019ve had to go to the Word of God.<\/p>\n<p>I memorized Psalm 91. Whenever I wake up\u2014in the beginning I would wake up and for two hours I would be terrified in my bed at night, because I would think, \u201cSomething\u2019s really wrong.\u201d I don\u2019t think I was having panic attacks, but I was having something like that. And now I\u2019m waking up and quoting Psalm 91.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Can you quote some of it to us?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: \u201cHe who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, \u2018My Rock and my Refuge, My God.\u2019\u201d And if you go on, it says, \u201cI will not fear the terror of night. I will not fear the terror of night,\u201d and I can do the whole Psalm, but I just start to recite that in my mind, and I fall asleep in five or ten minutes.<\/p>\n<p>So I go to this girl and I say to her, \u201cI hear you\u2019re having a hard time sleeping.\u201d Because I say to the mom when I meet her, \u201cWhere\u2019s your daughter?\u201d It was a snow day in Colorado Springs, so I asked, \u201cIs she at home today because it\u2019s a snow day?\u201d She said, \u201cYes.\u201d I said, \u201cWe\u2019re going to pray for her. Take me to her.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is the warrior in women that comes out. \u201cI\u2019m going to protect my girls.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: My husband is looking at me, because I am not Miss Spontaneous, not like he is, like \u201cWe\u2019re going where?\u201d I said, \u201cWe\u2019re going to go pray for that girl.\u201d So I just tell her my story. I say, \u201cListen, there was not truth to my fear. Is there truth to your fear? When you\u2019re afraid somebody is going to steal you, has that ever happened?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What a good question. And you\u2019re not saying, \u201cThere\u2019s no truth to your fear.\u201d You\u2019re asking her.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: I\u2019m asking her, \u201cIs there truth to your fear?\u201d She says \u201cNo.\u201d I asked, \u201cHas anybody ever come into your room and stolen you?\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cHave you ever known anyone that\u2019s been stolen?\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cHave you read about it in the news?\u201d \u201cWell, not really.\u201d I said, \u201cWell, because it could happen. It has happened, but it\u2019s probably not going to happen to you. Does your house have locks on it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes.\u201d \u201cDoes your house have an alarm system?\u201d \u201cYes, we actually have video cameras.\u201d \u201cOkay, so maybe, like me, your emotion isn\u2019t telling you the truth.\u201d She said, \u201cOhhh.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So I invited her to learn Psalm 91 with me. This is a nine-year-old girl. I prayed with her, and several weeks later her mom said, \u201cShe\u2019s memorized Psalm 91, and she\u2019s sleeping like a baby every night.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Wow.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: That\u2019s just how it works. That\u2019s a simple example of it. Sometimes it\u2019s a lot harder because there is a real fear or there is a real hurt, but it was interpreted in the wrong way.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: But you\u2019re right, Dannah. I have sexual abuse in my background, and so I can remember one time that it happened, my mind twisted, and I thought, \u201cSomething must be wrong with me. This must be my fault. This is something that I do.\u201d So you don\u2019t even realize that just becomes this lie of unworthiness and shame. And then you just carry it into adulthood, and now I\u2019m having consequences of these lies that I\u2019m hearing in my head over these years.<\/p>\n<p>So if we can get our girls to identify and talk about the things that they\u2019re hearing or the lies that they\u2019re dealing with, what a freedom.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: What a freedom. And even something like that, such a severe trauma, such a severe pain, the Word tells us we can have victory over that.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes. And I have found freedom and victory.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Praise the Lord. Amen.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: But it\u2019s taken work, too.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Sure. It does take work. But Jesus said, \u201cYou will know the truth and the truth will set you free.\u201d He said, \u201cIf you\u2019re truly my disciples, you will abide in My Word, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.\u201d Let me ask you this: Was some of your work getting in the Word and saturating your heart with the truth of the Scriptures?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Dave knows this. I could not exist without the power of God\u2019s Word. It\u2019s not that I should read it; it\u2019s my food every day. It sets me free every day. It reminds me of God\u2019s goodness, His grace, and His unconditional love, and His power that has set me free. So the answer is yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So that\u2019s truth replacing lies. Is that what you\u2019re saying?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes. We have to take what is true in the Word and replace it with whatever emotional sticky feelings we have. Now, not all the time is the sticky feeling a lie.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: But a lot of times we are allowing the emotion to become the boss of us, rather than using it as a messenger.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s a good way to put it.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: And saying, \u201cOkay, God has given me stress,\u201d or \u201cGod has given me guilt. What is He trying to tell me through this?\u201d And you go to the Word and you learn what it\u2019s for, and then the emotion goes away. That\u2019s how it\u2019s supposed to work. We should feel guilt, we should feel anger, we should feel fear. When a bear is chasing me, I want to feel fear, right? Because that\u2019s what makes me respond to it.<\/p>\n<p>But when we just feel and we don\u2019t do anything about it, that\u2019s when sometimes they can settle in and become lies. If you don\u2019t deal with that lie when it\u2019s small and manageable, it does grow and become far more damaging in our lives.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And it spills into every area of our lives.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Absolutely.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So is a seven-year-old, ten-year-old girl or boy able to identify the lies on their own, or do they need somebody to help them?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: They do need help. That\u2019s why we wrote the book, and that\u2019s why we wrote A Mom\u2019s Guide to Lies Girls Believe, because we want Mom to be the one to help her.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This book is beautiful. I wish all of you could see it. I hope you\u2019ll all buy it, because it\u2019s a workbook, and it\u2019s beautifully written and illustrated, and there are great questions. I like that it has a theme of Zoe. Now I realize that\u2019s your granddaughter.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Well, I didn\u2019t know I was going to have a granddaughter named Zoe when I wrote the book. She was born a year later, and named Zoe. That\u2019s kind of cool.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Ohhh. Why did you decide to use this little girl named Zoe?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Well, Zoe shows up at the beginning of each chapter, and it\u2019s kind of just a story-form chapter book type writing.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Let me read the introduction to Zoe. \u201cMeet Zoe.\u201d She\u2019s so cute. She has a little picture. \u201cShe\u2019s a girl whose name means \u2018life.\u2019 She\u2019s going to join us as we explore these sticky feelings, the lies they reveal, and God\u2019s truth. And we\u2019re going to start with the very first woman who believed the very first lie. So what are you waiting for? Let\u2019s get started.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes. So Zoe shows up at the beginning of every chapter. There\u2019s a cute little drawing of her. She has a problem, and the girls have to help solve that problem by telling her what the truth is. There are pages at the end of the chapter that say, \u201cZoe has believed what lie?\u201d and they identify the lie. \u201cWhat Bible verse do you think Zoe needs to meditate and think about truth?\u201d And they write in the Bible verse that they would have found in that chapter.<\/p>\n<p>But what we\u2019re doing is we\u2019re putting them in the driver\u2019s seat of being the counselor and the advisor, because sometimes it\u2019s a little easier to be objective and learn the process when it\u2019s not your own lies you\u2019re identifying. And then hopefully at the end of the book we do give her the tools so she can start establishing that habit and practice for her own life.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: How many truths and lies do you have that Zoe deals with?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: The book deals with twenty. We surveyed 1500 church-going tween girls, because we wanted to make sure that the lies that we introduced in the book were lies that they really were struggling with. And then we narrowed that down to twenty that were really popping up pretty consistently, lies like \u201cIt\u2019s not that great to be a girl.\u201d \u201cBoys and girls aren\u2019t that different,\u201d was not the predominant lie, but we were alarmed when roughly just under ten percent of the girls were saying, \u201cYes, I believe that lie.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>These are seven- to ten-year-old girls five years ago, and that\u2019s gotten worse in five years, very rapidly.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, I was going to say, if that\u2019s five years old\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: The survey is five years old.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Would you jump into gender dysphoria today?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: We do jump into it in there. We knew it was coming. I\u2019ve been studying that. I was part of a think tank on binary 15 years ago, before it was in the news, binary and non-binary language.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Wow.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: And so I knew that this was coming fast and furious. We don\u2019t talk about the lies in there. We don\u2019t talk about transgenderism or pronouns. What we do talk about is that sometimes almost all of us are like, \u201cIt\u2019d be nice to be a boy because boys seem to be stronger athletes. It\u2019d be nice to be a boy because boys seem to get\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201c\u2014they can go to the bathroom outside.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: That is never a thought I ever had, but I\u2019m not going to ask you if it\u2019s a thought you\u2019ve ever had.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It\u2019s one she said.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It\u2019s what my granddaughter just told me. \u201cOh, I wish I could do that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: This is so normal, right? To compare ourselves, right? But with the culture telling all these other lies around those really normal feelings that girls have had for centuries, it can lead to really some scary lies. So we went ahead and said, \u201cLet\u2019s talk about why it\u2019s so great to be a girl.\u201d There\u2019s just some really basic theology in there about God chose two genders, and here\u2019s why. Let\u2019s go back to Genesis 1:26-27, where He says, \u201cIn the image of God, He created them; male and female He created them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now listen, there are so many things that are God-like about us, right? Our language proficiency, the ability to defy gravity and fly to the moon, our creativity, that we can compose sonnets and create great works of art\u2014these are all very God-like qualities. Even the way we have emotions. I\u2019m an animal lover, so I believe animals have emotions. I think they\u2019re adorable and I love them, but we have them in a much more complex, sophisticated way, right? And a much more purposeful way.<\/p>\n<p>So there\u2019s a lot of things about us God could have mentioned when He said, \u201cYou\u2019re in my image,\u201d but He says two things: maleness and femaleness are what display My image in this very critical, foundational verse, and so it must matter that God chose you to be a girl. I like to tell moms one of the most important theological sentences you can say to your children right now is \u201cIt\u2019s great to be a girl,\u201d or \u201cIt\u2019s great to be a boy,\u201d or \u201cGod chose you to be a girl,\u201d \u201cGod chose you to be a boy.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Again, you don\u2019t have to study the counterfeit to plant the truth, and that\u2019s just one of the lies we deal with in the book.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Dannah has some encouragement for moms here in just a second. But you don\u2019t have to study the counterfeits to plant the truth. That connects with me so well, because I feel like so many times I have to study everything that\u2019s going on in the culture and I\u2019m just overwhelmed by it. But no, what we really need to do is just study the truth. Study the truth, plant that in our daughters\u2019 hearts, and that\u2019s what\u2019s actually going to grow, end up being the solution there. It\u2019s just being dedicated to the truth.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m Shelby Abbott and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Dannah Gresh on FamilyLife Today. Dannah has written a book called Lies Girls Believe. There are a ton of things that our daughters face today that are challenging, that the previous generations didn\u2019t face, things like huge anxiety, bullying on social media, and tons of other stuff. I have two daughters, so I think about this quite often, and what I want to do is equip them with the truth.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what this book, Lies Girls Believe does. It helps them understand the truth in order to be able to set them free. You can find a copy of it at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can give us a call at 800-358-6329.<\/p>\n<p>Now is there a chance that you could lead a small group growing healthier families and deeper knowledge of God in your own personal community? Well the good news is FamilyLife\u2019s Art of Parenting\u00ae small group study can help you with that by giving you principles and practical advice to facilitate meaningful conversations about parenting, and help you dig into God\u2019s Word through a video series that requires zero prep for the study. So you can have more time for actually engaging with your family and your community. Grab 25 percent off before Thursday and preview it in today\u2019s show notes.<\/p>\n<p>Now back to the conversation with Dannah Gresh, and some encouragement for moms.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: As we step away, encourage moms right now who have those daughters between those ages. Why is it so important to talk about these things?<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: I think one of the really important reasons we\u2019re going to talk about it is so they can have that long-term freedom. One of the first girls that I mentored believed the lie, \u201cEveryone leaves.\u201d She was in high school; I was in my 20\u2019s. She was just always fearful that I was going to abandon her. Her youth pastor had left her, and then she gets married, she goes away to college, she comes to see me. She\u2019s 25 now, and I\u2019m like, \u201cYou\u2019re still struggling with that, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She said, \u201cI\u2019m terrified my husband is going to leave me.\u201d And we began to pray, because by then I had learned you can know the truth and the truth will set you free. I said, \u201cLet\u2019s try to figure out when you started feeling that way,\u201d and we spent about two hours that night praying. Her lie was attached to her parents\u2019 divorce. She was in sixth or seventh grade, and her mom and dad divorced, and she said, \u201cFrom that night on, I had panic attacks that everyone would leave me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Well the truth is that people will fail you, so where do we go in God\u2019s Word? Well, the verse that God brought to her heart as we prayed for her was \u201cI will never leave you or forsake you.\u201d Being able to be anchored in that changed her forever. One of the ways it manifested was she could never really sleep alone. She had a twin, so she always had a twin in her room, roommates in college, husband. That night she drove 18 hours to go home, and got tired on the way, stopped in a hotel room, never even thought to be afraid, and slept like a baby. That\u2019s how powerful truth can be.<\/p>\n<p>Ann and Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: If we can give our daughters that gift so that they don\u2019t have to go through ten or fifteen years of believing a lie like \u201ceveryone leaves,\u201d but they can live in the security of the truth of God\u2019s Word. That doesn\u2019t mean her life is going to be easy and perfect and there aren\u2019t going to be heartaches. It means she will thrive through them.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: She will thrive through them. That\u2019s what we want, women and our daughters, and men and boys\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: For sure.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014to thrive in the freedom that God brings, through the cross, really.<\/p>\n<p>Dannah: Yes. It\u2019s all through the cross.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2023 FamilyLife\u00ae. All rights reserved. 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