{"id":280425,"date":"2023-10-05T09:15:00","date_gmt":"2023-10-05T13:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/searching-for-peace-in-the-questions-jesus-asked-amberly-neese\/"},"modified":"2025-05-06T15:21:12","modified_gmt":"2025-05-06T19:21:12","slug":"searching-for-peace-in-the-questions-jesus-asked-amberly-neese","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/searching-for-peace-in-the-questions-jesus-asked-amberly-neese\/","title":{"rendered":"Searching for Peace in the Questions Jesus Asked: Amberly Neese"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Fear. Worry. Pain: They can feel all-consuming. Author and speaker Amberley Neese believes that in the questions Jesus asks in the Gospels, there are answers big enough for all three.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><em fetchpriority=\"high\"><strong>The God of heaven and earth cares about what you care about. The God who made heavens and earth, the God who made the stars; that same God cares about all those things. I think worry happens, worry creeps in, when we take our eyes off of Jesus. I know that\u2019s like the Sunday School answer, but guess what? It\u2019s the Sunday School answer for a reason. &#8212; Amberly Neese<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Fear. Worry. Pain: They can feel all-consuming. Author and speaker Amberley Neese believes that in the questions Jesus asks in the Gospels, there are answers big enough for all three. The God of heaven and earth cares about what you care about. The God wh&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280866,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/a989c287-46ac-42fd-a0c9-b154011d9d40\/audio.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:24","filesize":"25.12M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2023-10-05 09:15:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[],"tags":[2237],"podcast_series":[8682],"cwp_profile":[3658],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-280425","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-worry","podcast_series-untangling-your-faith-from-the-questions-jesus-asked-amberly-neese","cwp_profile-amberly-neese","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/04\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/280425\/searching-for-peace-in-the-questions-jesus-asked-amberly-neese","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/280425\/searching-for-peace-in-the-questions-jesus-asked-amberly-neese","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"XkgTJ9KbOT\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/searching-for-peace-in-the-questions-jesus-asked-amberly-neese\/\">Searching for Peace in the Questions Jesus Asked: Amberly Neese<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/searching-for-peace-in-the-questions-jesus-asked-amberly-neese\/embed\/#?secret=XkgTJ9KbOT\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Searching for Peace in the Questions Jesus Asked: Amberly Neese&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"XkgTJ9KbOT\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/04\/image-scaled.jpg",1024,1024,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Margaret","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coylefamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Fear. Worry. Pain: They can feel all-consuming. Author and speaker Amberley Neese believes that in the questions Jesus asks in the Gospels, there are answers big enough for all three. The God of heaven and earth cares about what you care about. The God wh...","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<p>Connect with Amberly Neese on her website: <a href=\"http:\/\/amberlyneese.com\/\">amberlyneese.com<\/a> or catch her on video <a href=\"https:\/\/my.amplifymedia.com\/amplify\/series\/unitedmethodistpublishinghouse\/73123-untangling-faith\">talking about Untangling Faith with Amplify Media<\/a><br \/>\nFind resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><br \/>\nFind more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<br \/>\nHelp others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<br \/>\nCheck out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/p>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2023-10-05.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Do You Want To Get Well?<\/p>\n<p>Guest:Amberly Neese<\/p>\n<p>From the series:Untangling Your Faith from the Questions Jesus Asked (Day 2 of 2)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:October 5, 2023<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: The God of heaven and earth cares about what you care about. The God who made heavens and earth, the God who made the stars; that same God cares about all those things. I think worry happens, worry creeps in, when we take our eyes off of Jesus. I know that\u2019s like the Sunday School answer, but guess what? It\u2019s the Sunday School answer for a reason.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on the FamilyLife\u00ae app.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: One of the things I found surprising about this stage of our life\u2014empty nesters, grandkids, but kids are out of the house\u2014is, I worry more.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I\u2019d be up, not being able to sleep because I\u2019m worrying about something. Over the years you\u2019re like, \u201cI slept great. What are you talking about?\u201d But you\u2019re saying now, you worry more.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I mean it\u2019s just, stress and anxiety have hit me at a level that I\u2019ve never experienced before. Often, it\u2019s not bad, but it\u2019s still, \u201cWow! Look at me. I\u2019m thinking, and I can\u2019t sleep.\u201d There are many, many nights I wake up and can\u2019t get back to sleep.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Why do you think?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Because I\u2019m thinking through the future. It could be money, it could be our kids, it could be grandkids; you name it. All the stuff that used to keep you up at night. and I used to say, \u201cJust trust God. He\u2019s got it.\u201d [Laughter] I\u2019m scared at times. So, Amberly Neese is with us, and she\u2019s not a therapist; well, maybe you are?<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: No.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Is that one of your\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014she has many jobs.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2013special gifts?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Many things she\u2019s good at.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, I mean, you\u2019re a comedian, a humorist, a Bible teacher, a college professor, a mom, a wife. What am I missing?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: A good friend.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Gee whiz, you do it all!<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Thank you, thank you. But mostly, I\u2019m just excited to be here.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, good.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Me, too.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: We\u2019re going to unpack some stuff today.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, and one of the Bible studies you\u2019ve written is Untangling Faith: Reclaiming Hope in the Questions Jesus Asked. We\u2019ve already talked about a couple of those, but how many questions did Jesus ask?<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Over 300.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s just\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: \u2013in the New Testament. Isn\u2019t that crazy?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, I would have never thought it was that many.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Nope, me neither. I went to Bible College. I have a master\u2019s degree from a Bible College. When I started this, I thought, \u201cThis is crazy!\u201d But once the Holy Spirit kind of heightens your awareness to something, now [you] can\u2019t read it without all the questions. It\u2019s unbelievable.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You dive in; and it\u2019s a six week [study], right?<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: It is a six-week study.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Video-based Bible Study.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And you look at all these different questions.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You don\u2019t look at all of them?<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: I don\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Obviously.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: I don\u2019t. I kind of put them in categories, and then every day of the study is a different question. You\u2019d think that the questions would bring about more uncertainty, but actually I think honestly, the questions of Jesus teach us more about His character and the depth of His love for us. It grounds us even more than we thought possible.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, well one of the questions that I looked at in your study is what I just brought up.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It\u2019s in Matthew 6. Jesus says, \u201cCan any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?\u201d [Laughter] Do you ever worry?<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: I do, and I think it\u2019s so interesting you bring up the empty nest. We have one child who\u2019s living at home, but then one who lives across the country, and I think it\u2019s harder to parent now\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: \u2013than when they were little.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I agree.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: I know young moms and dads who are listening\u2014don\u2019t feel like I\u2019m minimizing [Laughter] your pain, because I totally get the pain. But I think now it\u2019s harder, because we have no control. At least when they were younger, we thought we had some modicum of control. We have zippity do dah when it comes to control now.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: I think there\u2019s definitely a little more worry. I love Jesus\u2019s questions: \u201cCan any of you add an hour to your life by worrying?\u201d There is a silly meme from\u2013that came from a movie years ago that Cher was in; it was Cher and Nicholas Cage\u2014and she says this thing where she hits him upside the head and says, \u201cSnap out of it!\u201d And I feel like the Holy Spirit when I read that. That\u2019s what I hear, \u201cAmberly, snap out of it!\u201d Not that the Holy Spirit would knock me upside the head. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>However, I know that He\u2019s saying, \u201cI see what you\u2019re worrying about. I\u2019m not negating what you\u2019re worrying about, but I am negating the energy you\u2019re spending not remembering who I am.\u201d I mean, the God of heaven and earth cares about what you care about. The God who made heavens and earth, the God who made the stars; that same God cares about all those things. I think worry happens, worry creeps in, when we take our eyes off of Jesus. I know that sounds like the Sunday School answer, but guess what? It\u2019s the Sunday School answer for a reason. It\u2019s because we are focused more on those issues than we are on the character of God.<\/p>\n<p>The last time, we talked about the Ebenezers. That was because I needed a visual representation of how God provides. I\u2019ve never been a bird person. I\u2019ve often laughed and said depending on the season of your life birds have a different meaning. When you\u2019re little, at least for me, I thought birds were what followed Snow White around. I wanted them to follow me around while I sing. [Laughter] But it\u2019s been so cool to look at that same section of scripture in Matthew, talking about God providing for the birds and watching them trust\u2014 They come; even when I've blown it, and I haven\u2019t filled it up, they still come. So, for me, I feel like I should come even when I don\u2019t see His provision. I should still show up and be a part of it.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I mean, it isn\u2019t [saying] \u201cDon\u2019t take care of your bank account. Don\u2019t be careful with your budget,\u201d or that kind of a thing. But it is saying, \u201cI am the supplier of the food for the birds.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And so, for you as well. So, that\u2019s what you\u2019re getting at with that question.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: You\u2019re going to sleep well tonight.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I hope so! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think, too, Dave worries about money. I worry about the kids. I worry about grandkids. We had a grandchild that had a 45-minute seizure. I don\u2019t worry about myself sometimes, but I\u2019ll worry about, again, things I don\u2019t feel in control of\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: \u2013yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2013and that kind of thing, thinking, \u201cI have no control over this. I don\u2019t know anything about this.\u201d I\u2019m thinking about the listener who maybe has had a really hard diagnosis for themselves or for a family member, or a child that\u2019s walked away. That\u2019s when it\u2019s really hard.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: How do I not worry about that? My sister was 44 when she was diagnosed with lung cancer, and I had a pattern of when I would start thinking about something, I would try to solve it in my mind by walking through the entire scenario. So, if she has cancer, I would try to solve all the problems with it. \u201cWell, what should we do? Where should we go? Who\u2019s the best oncologist? What should we do with the kids?\u201d That would seem to make me feel more at peace, as long as I had some control. But it started getting worse and worse. The diagnosis was not good, and I realized, \u201cThis is doing no good.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Yes<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What I realized was, I need to take every thought captive\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: \u2013captive. You bet!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2013and lay it before the king. And I remember thinking, \u201cI\u2019m not going to think about the future. Jesus, all I\u2019m going to do is hand you the moment, hand you my worries, hand you my fears, and say them out loud to you. Lord, now I need your peace that surpasses all understanding.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cI need you to help me to guard my mind and my heart in Christ Jesus.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Absolutely, and when you think about holding every thought captive\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2013yes.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: \u2013we\u2019ve all watched those movies where the captives, what do they want to do? They want to get free.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: And those thoughts want to do the same thing. When we think, \u201cFully bound; this thought is fully bound. I\u2019ve totally relinquished it to the Lord.\u201d That captive wants to get free.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: And oftentimes, they do in my mind, and then I\u2019m back to, \u201cOh, man. I need to go\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Do you just go back again? Say you\u2019ve given it to Jesus, you\u2019ve bound it; and then a half-hour later, you\u2019re triggered by something, and it comes back. What do you do?<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: I often ask myself, \u201cWhat do you know to be true?\u201d right? God is good. He\u2019s in control. He\u2019s working in my best interest. I mean, it sounds like a silly mantra or trick to play on myself. It\u2019s not. The way that I bind those thoughts\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: \u2013is with the truth of God;--<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2013yes.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: \u2013of His character.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes; and the truth of His Word<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Absolutely, the truth of His Word. \u201cWhat do I know to be true?\u201d When I meet with young ladies I\u2019m discipling, that\u2019s often when they tell me their story. That\u2019s the first question that comes out of my face, \u201cWhat do you know to be true?\u201d Because it gives a great framework for where they are spiritually and where they still have room to grow spiritually, which we all have.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What will they often say when you ask, \u201cWhat do you know to be true?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: \u201cWhat do you know to be true?\u201d \u201cThis is real,\u201d or \u201cMy pain is in my face,\u201d or often, what I get is, \u201cI mean, I know that God is good, but this is really scary,\u201d or \u201cWhatever happens to me.\u201d And you know what? That\u2019s okay. I love the Psalms and Proverbs, especially when we talk about the Proverbs that we should seek wisdom as hidden treasure. That\u2019s not a beautiful, simple process. Seeking for hidden treasure means we have stuff we need to dig up. We need to get serious with our fervor and getting to the bottom of it. We have to know that it\u2019s worth it. I mean, all of those things factor into finding hidden treasure, and I think being willing to get to the bottom of some of our spiritual fervor; we need to have that same kind of fervor. We need to be diligent in trying to get to that and knowing it\u2019s messy.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And it can often take us back to the question we asked earlier, \u201cWho do you say that I am?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Right, absolutely.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: If we\u2019re not trusting Him, why is that? Who don\u2019t we believe Him to be?<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Yes. \u201cWhich of you by worrying can add an hour to your life?\u201d None of you. So essentially, \u201cSnap out of it,\u201d right? [Laughter] Focus on the character of God. I mean, I think that\u2019s really what it comes down to. When I\u2019m on the struggle bus, it is because I have taken my eyes off the Lord and focused on myself.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, and it\u2019s interesting you know, three verses later, what does Jesus say?<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cSeek first\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2013\u201cthe Kingdom\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2013\u201cthe Kingdom, and all these things will be added.\u201d And as I look back over, I don\u2019t know, six decades of life, every one of those worries that kept me up at night, I look back on them, and God provided.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: God took care. He showed up. Again, they weren\u2019t all perfect little tie a bow on them things. Some of them were really hard. But as I look back, the track record is, \u201cYou don\u2019t have to lay in bed and be up all night.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cGet out of your bed, get on your knees, and say, \u201cGod I\u2019m going to seek first you. I\u2019m going to give this to you. I\u2019m going to go back to sleep\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: \u2013yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2013knowing that you\u2019ve got it.\u201d Again, I don\u2019t know what that means in terms of the result, but to be able to put it in [His] hands and be like a robin, and say, \u201cOkay, He will provide.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: And Jeremiah 29, you know we talk about Jeremiah 29:11\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2013yes.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: \u2013but 13 is, \u201cYou will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.\u201d So, when you\u2019re struggling with that worry, seek the heart of God, right? Seek with everything in you to try to figure out what is true.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I\u2019ll say this really quick. I was just thinking of a family listening; if there\u2019s a dad like me, or a mom, that used to lay in bed\u2014I used to lay in bed and think about paying for my three sons\u2019 college education. That was one of them. I don\u2019t know if you lay in bed\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2013I never once worried about that, but I did worry, \u201cAre they going to party their guts out at college?\u201d [Laughter] Those are the kinds of things I worried about.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And I thought, \u201cYes they will,\u201d but I mean I can, I can remember many nights that we\u2019re putting money away, but it\u2019s not going to be enough\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2013yes, yes\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2013but now I can look back, and they\u2019re all three graduated. God showed up in amazing ways.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Immeasurably more than you can ask or imagine.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: None are in debt. He provided. And I wasted all those nights, and I just want to say to that dad or that mom: \u201dGo to sleep. You can go to sleep tonight. He\u2019s got them.\u201d And again, I\u2019m not saying that you don\u2019t invest, you don\u2019t put money aside. You do all the things on our side, but He will reveal Himself in a way that you\u2019ll say, \u201cWow. I didn\u2019t know He could be trusted that way.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Right. Why could Jesus sleep when the storm was happening? Because He knew who was in charge of the waves, right?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: When we\u2019re having tumult in our lives, when we\u2019re facing those waves, we can sleep knowing that the One who controls those waves is on our side.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Amberly, you\u2019ve talked about going through nine years of struggling with infertility.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That is a long time.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: That\u2019s a long time.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I can\u2019t imagine the ups and the downs, the trauma; how that affected your marriage. You can just say it, but there\u2019s a whole lot to that.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Oh, you bet!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: How did you give that to Jesus? What were some of the struggles in that?<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Well, some of the struggles for us, especially for my family because they weren\u2019t believers, were like, \u201cWell, if the Jesus couple can\u2019t get what they want out of God, how can the rest of us have a shot?\u201d I kept saying, \u201cLord, this could be such a great tool for my family.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Exactly!<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: It\u2019s so funny. I have to beseech the Lord by appealing to His intellect, as if He\u2019s not the most\u2014He\u2019s all logic! He\u2019s everything. There was that. Physically, I thought, \u201cWow, I\u2019m not enough.\u201d We say, \u201cOh, in Bible times, a woman\u2019s worth is having children.\u201d @e can look back on that\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2013used to be\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: \u2013[and] the truth is, it\u2019s still a thing, right? When they [ask], \u201cWhen you going to start a family?\u201d Wait, we\u2019re a family already, right? Somehow, we bought and sold and probably perpetuated the idea that we were incomplete without having children. We have this great desire, and I would say, \u201cIf you don\u2019t want me to have a baby, Lord, just rip this desire out of me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It was such a deep desire. I wanted to give my husband a child. I didn\u2019t grow up in a Christian family. I wanted a Christian family. There was a lot of that, but also physically, it was really hard on my body. What we found out later, probably too much information, but when we finally had Judah, our daughter\u2019s name is Judah\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014ahh!<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: \u2013which means, \u201cI will praise God for this child,\u201d my mother said, \u201cI don\u2019t know if I like that name.\u201d I said, \u201cWell, you don\u2019t have to pay for the therapy, so it\u2019s fine.\u201d [Laughter] She loves it now. But when we got pregnant with Judah, when I finally got to a place where we knew this one was going to stick or whatever, they didn\u2019t know why she wasn\u2019t turning. So, they had to do surgery. The doctor said\u2014I know she\u2019s not a believer, but she said, \u201cI know you guys are like God-people, so thank whatever god you\u2019re supposed to, because there is no way this baby should have gone full-term.\u201d I had a misshapen uterus, so that\u2019s why all the babies were dying, They would grow to a certain place, and then they would stop. She said, \u201cThis is unbelievable!\u201d And my husband said, \u201cWhat about subsequent children?\u201d and I said, \u201cDude, back off! [Laughter] I just had a baby!\u201d He was saying, \u201cNo, I just want to know.\u201d And she said, \u201cYour daughter has made a way for future babies,\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Ahh!<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: So, we understood all of that, but there was a lot of testing. There was a lot of\u2013it\u2019s very intrusive on a marriage. You know, lots of questions. Lots of our church ladies\u2014because my husband is on staff, all these cute little church ladies\u2014that would say, \u201cWell, tell me about this\u2026\u201d and I would think, \u201cI do not want to have this conversation with you. Just pray for us. Just pray for us.\u201d But even if God had not provided the opportunity for us to have biological children, He\u2019s still God. He still loves us, and He\u2019s still working for our best interest. But I\u2019m so thankful. Judah and Josiah, we have a daughter Judah Katherine.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Those are the best names!<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: I know, right? And Josiah Caleb. We\u2019re so thankful for them and man, they teach us a lot about Jesus, I\u2019ll just tell you. Our daughter is so full of life and joy and passion, and I love that we get to explore the creative part of God; and then our son is so methodical. He wants to be a patent lawyer, and I said, \u201cSo, Josiah tell me why that\u2019s your choice?\u201d And he said, \u201cMom, it\u2019s like the marriage of engineering and law. Can you think of anything more exciting?\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know, dental work. [Laughter] So different! But he teaches us so much about the logical, the mathematical, the \u201cnot a God of disorder but order and peace.\u201d He teaches us so much about that, and I\u2019m so thankful for the things that I see in them. It\u2019s pretty awesome, but yes, it\u2019s very hard on a marriage. It\u2019s very hard on each individual person. Scott felt terrible, because he couldn\u2019t help me deal with any of the mourning. I think actually, when you lose a child, it\u2019s as hard on the man, because all the focus is put on the woman, because she\u2019s going through the physical stuff, but the man is left\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014forgotten\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: -\u2013crushed, and yes, forsaken for sure. So, I\u2019m glad that\u2019s in the rearview mirror for us.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Thanks for sharing.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Of course.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: In our last few minutes, you have another question in there; you\u2019ve got a bunch of them.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: I do.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I\u2019d love to hear your thoughts on when Jesus says, \u201cDo you want to be healed?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Which seems like, \u201cWhy would He even ask that? Of course\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014agreed. \u201cWho doesn\u2019t want to be healed?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014\u201dsomebody that\u2019s sick wants to be healed!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Agreed.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: But He asks, \u201cDo you want to be healed?\u201d What\u2019s that all about?<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: I took the same approach you did, which is, \u201cOf course he does, Jesus! He wants to get well.\u201d And yet, we can get really complacent and comfortable in our suffering, in our pain; but also sometimes in our sin. And He\u2014I think it\u2019s so gracious of Him that He would say to this man, \u201cDo you want to get well?\u201d Giving the man the opportunity to make the choice. That\u2019s the gentleman Jesus is. He does give us choice, but no matter what the situation is, He gives us this opportunity to say, \u201cI have the power to heal you. Do you want to get well? Are you willing to leave the comfort of that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Years ago, we used to watch a television program\u2014it\u2019s not a Bible study television program\u2014that was called ER. There was a character on there who had a cane. The whole length of the show, she had a cane. Somebody said to her\u2014it was like the end of the shift, and they said\u2014\u201cSo, Carrie, you have surgery tomorrow. What is it going to feel like to not have your cane anymore?\u201d And she said, \u201cI\u2019ve had it for so long. I don\u2019t know who I am without it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It had become her identity.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: It had become her identity; and sometimes we hold onto past mistakes, past choices, even current situations. We hold on so tight, that we don\u2019t know who we are apart from it. So, God says to you, \u201cDo you want to get well?\u201d Right? That can be a myriad, a litany, of things. But He said it to me so many times in my life. I held onto being infertile for a long time, and He said, \u201cDo you want to get well?\u201d Even if the child never comes, or unforgiveness?<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s some past hurt in my life (going back to our original [family]. There are lots of knots in my tree; and He said, \u201cDo you want to give me glory, or do you want it to be about your knots?\u201d And so, even then, He says, \u201cDo you want to get well?\u201d I also love me some food. I\u2019m Italian. [Laughter] I don\u2019t know why the UN doesn\u2019t just [tell] Italy to feed the world, because nobody would go hungry! However, food has become a thing for me, right? It has become an idol for me, and many times He has said lovingly, caringly, in the gentlest way, \u201cAmberly, do you want to get well? Are you ready for me to be your portion? Are you ready to taste and see that I am good?\u201d He\u2019s been gentle, and He\u2019s been patient, and every day is a new opportunity to explore that: \u201cDo you want to get well?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think that I was doing that in our marriage.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: You were?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Year 10, Dave had become my idol. I had taken my eyes off of Jesus, and I thought, \u201cDave, you can make me well.\u201d In other words, \u201cDave, you can make me happy. It\u2019s your job to make me happy!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Then I could also\u2014if that wasn\u2019t working it would be easy for me to\u2014place that on my children.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I say, \u201cYou guys can make me happy. You can fulfill me. You can meet the needs that your dad isn\u2019t meeting. And yet, Jesus is saying, \u201cDo you want to get well?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Amberely: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Because ultimately, everything and everyone will let you down; but \u201cI can heal the depths of your pain\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: \u2013yes\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014the depths of your longings. That\u2019s My job.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I love that you\u2019re asking these questions. I love that Jesus asks the questions\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: \u2013yes\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2013because He\u2019s asking us those questions every day.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, I think what you just got at\u2014I mean, it just hit me when you were talking\u2014 is, if we were honest, we would say, \u201cActually, I don\u2019t. I don\u2019t want to get well.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Because how many of us\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: \u2013\u201cI don\u2019t know who I am without this, separate from this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes. I was thinking, even as we think of listeners right now, I think of so many guys [to whom] I\u2019ve said, \u201cGet to a marriage conference. We have a conference called the Weekend to Remember\u00ae. Come to it.\u201d They say, \u201cYeah, I don\u2019t\u2026\u201d And I say, \u201cYou really don\u2019t want a better marriage, do you? You\u2019re satisfied.\u201d Or \u201cGo to a counselor.\u201d \u201cNo, I\u2019m not going to a counselor.\u201d \u201cWhy? You really are okay being unhealthy. Your marriage isn\u2019t well.\u201d You know what I mean?<\/p>\n<p>Even a wife has probably said to her husband, \u201cYou should listen to FamilyLife Today every day.\u201d He\u2019s not doing it. Again, I\u2019m ripping on guys here. It could be the other way, but I think when we don\u2019t take that step, it\u2019s almost like God is saying to us, \u201cI\u2019ve given you a way to get well, and because you\u2019ve said, \u2018Ah, it\u2019s too much money,\u2019 or \u2018I\u2019m not going to go away for a weekend,\u2019 or \u2018I can\u2019t miss this football game,\u2019 or whatever reason it is, you\u2019re really saying, \u2018I\u2019m okay, I don\u2019t need to get well. I\u2019m not even sick\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Everything around you is saying you are sick. Will you accept Jesus\u2019s invitation, which could be from your neighbor or your pastor or friend or small group leader, who is even saying, \u201cHey, let\u2019s go through this Untangling Faith small group together.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t have time.\u201d You\u2019re saying, \u201cI don\u2019t want to get well,\u201d because this study is going to help you get well.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Even though that\u2019s your answer.<\/p>\n<p>Amberly: Even though, exactly\u2014so even though\u2014Jesus asked these questions thousands of years ago to people that we will never meet this side of glory, this question still rings true for us. They are still open invitations for us to invest in these questions and get to the bottom of our own spiritual stuff.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I love that question. So, listeners, friends, do you want to get well?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: If you do, prove it. Prove it. Prove it to your wife. Prove it to your kids.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cI really want to get well, and I know what it\u2019s going to take.\u201d It\u2019s going to take going to this or showing up\u2013it may be to go to church. Get in a church this weekend, and lead your family there, and watch God help your family get well.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: You know, in our own power, we lack the strength to just get better. What we lack in ability, God has in abundance, so why don\u2019t you ask Him today to give you the strength to make the changes necessary and see growth in your life? Then get ready because He\u2019s going to show up!<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Amberly Neese on FamilyLife Today. Amberly has created Untangling Faith. This is a video- driven small group study about reclaiming the hope in the questions Jesus asks. You can find a copy at FamilyLifeToday.com in the show notes. Earlier this week, we had Brant Hansen on the show. Brant has written a book called Blessed are the Misfits: Great News for Believers Who Are Introverts, Spiritual Strugglers, or Just Feel Like They\u2019re Missing Something. This is a fantastic book, and it\u2019s our gift to you when you partner with us financially.<\/p>\n<p>You can go online to FamilyLifeToday.com or give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329; again, that number is 800-\u2018F\u2019 as in family, \u2018L\u2019 as in life. and then the word \u2018TODAY.\u2019 Feel free to drop us something in the mail if you\u2019d like. Our address is FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, Florida 32832.<\/p>\n<p>Well, what\u2019s the importance of impactful grandparenting? Can you put a price tag on it? Can you put a label on it? Tomorrow, Dave and Ann Wilson are going to be joined by Mark Gregston and Larry Fowler to talk about dispelling stereotypes and offering wisdom and nurturing relationships as grandparents. That\u2019s tomorrow. We hope you\u2019ll join us.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs? Copyright \u00a9 2023 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/280425","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=280425"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280866"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=280425"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=280425"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=280425"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=280425"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=280425"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=280425"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}