{"id":280402,"date":"2023-11-07T10:15:00","date_gmt":"2023-11-07T15:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/receive-the-way-of-jesus-for-men-jeff-kemp\/"},"modified":"2024-11-19T04:15:52","modified_gmt":"2024-11-19T09:15:52","slug":"receive-the-way-of-jesus-for-men-jeff-kemp","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/receive-the-way-of-jesus-for-men-jeff-kemp\/","title":{"rendered":"Receive: The Way of Jesus for Men: Jeff Kemp"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ever feel the burn of trying to prove yourself as a guy? Former NFL Seahawks quarterback Jeff Kemp shows what it means to receive your identity as God&#8217;s son and drink in Jesus&#8217; perfect example of being a man.<\/p>\n<p> Build a brotherhood and grab a copy of Jeff Kemp&#8217;s Level Five Friendship Playbook: <a href=\"https:\/\/jeffkempteam.com\/men-huddle\/\" fetchpriority=\"high\">MenHuddle.com<\/a><br \/> ..And listen in on Jeff&#8217;s Podcast, <a href=\"https:\/\/pod.link\/1269239874\">Every Man Ministries<\/a><br \/> And grab his book, <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/receive-the-way-of-jesus-for-men\/\">Receive: The Way of Jesus for Men<\/a> \u2014or receive it <a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/november-2023\/receive\/?cru_source=24EGPCandcru_medium=podcastandcru_campaign=November2023\">free with your donation<\/a>.<br \/> Tune into more episodes by <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/guest\/jeff-kemp\/\">Jeff Kemp<\/a> on FamilyLife Today!<br \/> Check out all of JP&#8217;s podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/guest\/jp-pokluda\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><br \/> Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<br \/> <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><br \/> Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife&#8217;s app<\/a>!<br \/> Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<br \/> Check out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ever feel the burn of trying to prove yourself as a guy? Former NFL Seahawks quarterback Jeff Kemp shows what it means to receive your identity as God&#8217;s son and drink in Jesus&#8217; perfect example of being a man. Build a brotherhood and grab a copy of Jeff Ke&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280866,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/cb89b623-e7e5-4811-8eee-b154011d47a2\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:46","filesize":"24.54M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3166],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-280402","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","cwp_profile-jeff-kemp","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/04\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/280402\/receive-the-way-of-jesus-for-men-jeff-kemp","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/280402\/receive-the-way-of-jesus-for-men-jeff-kemp","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"cEPeAfLvqF\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/receive-the-way-of-jesus-for-men-jeff-kemp\/\">Receive: The Way of Jesus for Men: Jeff Kemp<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/receive-the-way-of-jesus-for-men-jeff-kemp\/embed\/#?secret=cEPeAfLvqF\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Receive: The Way of Jesus for Men: Jeff Kemp&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"cEPeAfLvqF\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["MS-012829"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/cb89b623-e7e5-4811-8eee-b154011d47a2\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:26:46"],"filesize":["24.54M"],"_thumbnail_id":["280866"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2023-11-07.pdf"],"transcript_content":["\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript\r\n\r\nReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.\r\n\r\nReceive: The Way of Jesus for Men\r\n\r\nGuest:Jeff Kemp\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Receive: The Way of Jesus for Men (Day 2 of 3)\r\n\r\nAir date:November 7, 2003\r\n\r\nJeff: To be known, and still liked, feels way better than to be not known\u2014to fake it and to be impressive\u2014but no one really knows you.\r\n\r\nShelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. \r\n\r\nAnn: This is FamilyLife\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014Today.\r\n\r\nDave: Are you excited about today?\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes, because we\u2019re going to talk about the crisis going on in our country.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, we\u2019ve got an expert in the studio\u2014Jeff Kemp is back\u2014and we\u2019re going to talk about the manhood crisis. It\u2019s been a crisis for a long time; but we\u2019re feeling it in a way, in this generation, I don\u2019t know if we\u2019ve ever felt it before.\r\n\r\nAnn: And we\u2019re going to be talking about his book, Receive. The subtitle is The Way of Jesus for Men. Jeff, you tell us: \u201cWhat is the crisis?\u201d Because you\u2019ve been talking about this, thinking about it, dreaming about it, and wanting to help men.\r\n\r\nJeff: Well, a crisis of men not doing well, either having no confidence or having confidence in the wrong things\u2014it damages, not just them: we have higher suicide rates and depression rates; obviously, loneliness and isolation\u2014but it damages the women they don\u2019t marry, that they should; the women they\u2019re married to\/their wives, and the kids who aren\u2019t getting a healthy dad, who knows how to connect, and love, and persevere through challenges, and invest in them.\r\n\r\nBeneath the crisis of manhood is the crisis of identity\u2014that touches women, teenage girls, teenage boys, little boys, little girls, old men, young men, and women as well\u2014but men in particular really struggle; because they\u2019re told: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to prove yourself; you\u2019ve got to earn your identity. You\u2019ve got to be something!\u201d Andre Agassi said, \u201cImage is everything.\u201d We\u2019ve been practicing that since that famous athlete\u2014who had a blonde wig and, actually, was going bald\u2014he took a shower before a tennis match one time; and his wig got kind of wigged out, to use a phrase. [Laughter] It was starting to come off, and he was afraid during a match, Dave. This is one of the best tennis players in the world!\r\n\r\nAnn: I read this in your book! I had never known this.\r\n\r\nJeff: Yes! He was worried about his hairpiece coming off, and his image not looking good; and he lost the tournament. \r\n\r\nDave: I get this, Jeff; I understand that. Oh, dear! [Laughter] \r\n\r\nJeff: It\u2019s got nothing to do with you, Dave. [Laughter] \r\n\r\nIf we\u2019re basing our lives on our image, our performance, our achievement\u2014you know, who\u2019s following us, our last position, etc., what the crowd thinks of us\u2014we\u2019re on very shaky ground. You can\u2019t relate well to people when you\u2019re worried about what they think about you.\r\n\r\nDave: Well, it\u2019s interesting: we\u2019re sitting here talking to you\u2014and of all the people in the world, who have had an image that most men would just die to have: you played in the NFL; you know, you\u2019re one of sixty-four quarterbacks; I mean, starters and backups\u2014you\u2019re in that club!\r\n\r\nAnn: You went to an Ivy League school. \r\n\r\nDave: I mean, you\u2019ve got everything. A lot of men would say, \u201cIf I had what Jeff Kemp had, I would be okay. [My] image would be alright; my identity\u2026\u201d\r\n\r\nJeff: The truth is, if you had what Jeff Kemp had, it wouldn\u2019t have been enough for you, like it wasn\u2019t for me: I didn\u2019t want to be a backup; I wanted to be a starter. I didn\u2019t want to start; I wanted to win the Super Bowl. Secondly, you might be confident on the outside; but you\u2019d still be insecure, as I was. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yesterday, we talked about the first part of your book\u2014receiving\u2014to receive as a son. That\u2019s your identity\u2014as a son\u2014not as an individual, who\u2019s striving to earn the respect or the fame.\r\n\r\nJeff: Exactly. It\u2019s much easier to be a real (authentic, natural, not faking it) and good (benevolent, positive, making a difference\/benefit people)\u2014it\u2019s much easier to be a real and good man if you can receive it from the only One, who\u2019s real and good perfectly\u2014Jesus\u2014than trying to perform for it or achieve it; because you\u2019re going to fall short, and then you\u2019re going to feel some shame and failure. Then you\u2019re going to start pretending or hiding it; you\u2019re always going to fall short. There\u2019s always going to be somebody you can compare to who\u2019s better, like in football.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nJeff: But Jesus is the blueprint of manhood. Look for the core of masculinity and manhood in Jesus; that will work across all cultures. The problem is, even to try to be like Him is a losing proposition, I\u2019m never going to measure up to Him.\r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nJeff: But if you look at the way He lived as a man, that gives everyone hope. He basically did it by depending on His Father and receiving from His Father\u2014not moving until His Father said, \u201cMove\u201d; not talking until His Father said, \u201cSay this,\u201d\u2014and then giving the credit to the Father, which kept Him humble. No one\u2019s been more humble than the perfect Man. Dave and I\u2014we\u2019re not quite perfect\u2014and we have a little problem with pride still, right? [Laughter] It\u2019s silly, you know?\u2014the imperfect people are proud\u2014but Jesus, the perfect One, was humble. \r\n\r\nThe way of Jesus\/of receiving\u2014I looked through the Bible, starting in 2020, when Covid hit\u2014I went home, and had no speeches, nothing to do but to work on this book and ask God to re-Father me. I found 221 ways in the Gospels that Jesus acted as a man. They net out to this\u2014He connected with His Father to receive His Father\u2019s guidance\u2014[from] Luke, Mark, Matthew, I have all these passages:\r\n\r\n\u201cI had to be in My Father\u2019s house.\u201d That was when He was 12 years old. \r\n\r\n\u201cEarly in the morning, when it was dark, Jesus got up, got out of the house, went to a solitary place, and prayed to His Father.\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cAt daybreak, Jesus went out to an isolated place.\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cHe often withdrew to pray.\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cImmediately after this\u2026\u201d\u2014this is the feeding of the 5,000\u2014He told His disciples to get into the boat and go out into the storm; and He went up in the mountain to be with His Father, and He spent the night in prayer with His Father. \r\n\r\nHe took Peter, James, and John\u2014that sounds like a [few] deep Level 5-close friends; they had a higher level than even the 12\u2014and He took them to the mountain, where He was transfigured. He let them share that special experience of connecting with the Father. \r\n\r\nJesus always connected to the Father. Then, here\u2019s the wildest thing; it says this in John\u2014multiple chapters\u2014\u201cJesus said, \u2018My Father\u2019s always at work, and so am I. I only do, and I only say what My Father tells me to say and do,\u2019\u201d \u201cThe words I share, I have gotten them from My Father.\u201d Then He says this, \u201cThe Son can do nothing apart from the Father.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: Woo!\r\n\r\nJeff: Basically, the perfect most powerful Man in history, who also was present at the creation of the world and had a hand in that, and rises from the dead, and He\u2019s so stinking strong that He chooses to bear the load of all sin for all time\u2014the strongest, most perfect man ever\u2014says, \u201cI can do nothing apart from My Father.\u201d What that really means is He chose to humble Himself and be dependent upon His Father. And that made Him the greatest man ever.\r\n\r\nDave: Even as I hear you say that, I think, \u201cDo we believe what Jesus knew was reality?\u2014 \u2018I can do nothing apart from my Father\u2019?\u201d Jesus said in John 15, \u201cI am the vine; you are the branches. Apart from me, you can do nothing.\u201d\r\n\r\nJeff: \u2014nothing.\r\n\r\nDave: I think\u2014as a pastor, I preached that\u2014\u201cDo I believe it?\u201d There\u2019s part of me [saying], \u201cWell, I can do some things; I can\u2019t do big things.\u201d No! What Jesus is saying is, \u201cYou can do nothing apart from Me.\u201d He lived that way; I think there\u2019s part of the pride in a man to say, \u201cYes, I agree with that 95 percent\u201d; but 5 percent of me says, \u201cI\u2019m not that bad!\u201d\r\n\r\nJeff: Right.\r\n\r\nAnn: That\u2019s so funny!\r\n\r\nDave: You know? \r\n\r\nJeff: Well, it goes back to the two things we talked about in the last show: the two most important things shaping you are:\r\n\r\nYour view of God: \u201cIs it accurate or not?\u201d and \r\n\r\nYour view of yourself: \u201cIs it accurate or not?\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nJeff: If your view of God is inaccurate, you\u2019re not so sure that depending totally on God in every situation is really going to turn out that well. I thought, leading up to when I graduated from college, \u201cIt\u2019s not going to be that fun if I give myself totally to God.\r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nAnn: That was Dave, too!\r\n\r\nDave: Literally.\r\n\r\nJeff: \u201cSo I\u2019m going to hold on\u2014I\u2019ll take the salvation piece\u2014but I\u2019m kind of in charge of everything else.\u201d \r\n\r\nI would urge any man: God is a trillion times better than you think. Go straight to the source\u2014ask Him what He\u2019s really like\u2014read the Bible. The Prodigal Son story?\u2014read about his dad; that\u2019s what Jesus said the Father\u2019s like. So if you really trust Him\u2014that He\u2019s that benevolent and good\u2014then you\u2019re a little bit more okay with this. \r\n\r\nYour other point was: \u201cWe like control:\u2014Dave: Yes.\r\n\r\nJeff: \u2014\u201c\u2019Ah, I want to take charge. I want to say: \u201cI cleaned up my life; I straightened out that alcohol thing,\u201d \u201cI fixed that debt problem we had; I\u2019m proud of that.\u201d\u2019\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: I mean, it\u2019s in us! I remember, at our church, we had multiple campuses. We would have live teaching; but one of us would write the message, right? I write this message. I bump into some guy or lady the next day on Monday. She was at a different campus\u2014and here\u2019s what she said, \u201cMan,\u201d; it wasn\u2019t Jeff, but I\u2019ll use your name\u2014\u201cJeff preached yesterday the most amazing message. I\u2019m so impressed by him!\u201d Now, Jeff, what am I thinking?\u2014\"I wrote it.\u201d \r\n\r\nJeff: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: She\u2019s thinking he wrote it. Who cares who wrote it?\u2014it\u2019s the Word of God; all I did was preach it. But it\u2019s in there [pride].\r\n\r\nThat also points to identity: \u201cWho am I?\u201d I\u2019m not acting like a son; I\u2019m acting like the older brother. You know, I\u2019m mad at somebody else, who\u2019s getting credit for what I did.\r\n\r\nJeff: You want to keep score. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nJeff: There\u2019s a paradox. I think we know the Christian life\/the Jesus Way is upside-down to the world.\r\n\r\nAnn: Right.\r\n\r\nJeff: We don\u2019t really live it that well, but it is. There\u2019s a pride\/humility paradox. Pride says, \u201cI want to be in control; I want to earn it; I want to perform it, and I\u2019d like the credit for it.\u201d \r\n\r\nHumility says, \u201cI didn\u2019t invent myself. I\u2019m going to submit to the God who made me; I\u2019m going to depend on Him. And I\u2019m going to make the interest of others ahead of myself.\u201d It\u2019s not making less of yourself; it\u2019s thinking of yourself less, because you\u2019re thinking of others.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nJeff: Jesus is the definition of humility; Philippians 2 clarifies it real clearly. \r\n\r\nHere\u2019s how pride destroys and humility wins: two football stories. \r\n\r\nIn my last season of football, we\u2019re playing on Sunday Night Football against the Raiders; I\u2019m on the Seahawks. We were leading, going into the fourth quarter; and I thought, \u201cGood.\u201d I had a pretty good game; we needed to win. \u201cThis is really going to help; whew!\u201d You know, \u201cWay to go!\u201d Meanwhile, the coaches were thinking similarly: \u201cLet\u2019s go to some conservative offensive calling,\u201d and \u201cLet\u2019s go to some prevent defense.\u201d \r\n\r\nJay Schroeder picked us apart that night. We went into overtime and, trying to protect things, I threw a pass that a friend of mine caught in overtime; his name was Ronnie Lott, and he was on the wrong team. [Laughter] That interception cost us the game, because they kicked a field goal in the next play. I was cut from the NFL, as a starting quarterback, the next day; humbled completely! \r\n\r\nAnn: Oh!\r\n\r\nJeff: Because I had been operating out of: \u201cI\u2019m pretty good,\u201d \u201cI need to get this win; protect the win\/our pride\u201d; and we lost. \r\n\r\nMonday night, about five weeks later, I\u2019m in Philadelphia, playing for the Eagles. I don\u2019t know the system; I haven\u2019t practiced much. I had a concussion my first week when I played with them\u2014went to the hospital\u2014and this was like two weeks later, and we\u2019re going to Houston to play Monday Night Football.\r\n\r\nAnn: Oh.\r\n\r\nJeff: I\u2019m flying down there, Dave, in the plane and on the bus\u2014and on the sidelines in pre-game\u2014I\u2019m thinking, \u201cThis is the first time in my life I\u2019ve never wanted to get in the game,\u201d because [I have] no confidence. But there was a cool thing: I\u2019m 11 years into my walk with Christ. I\u2019ve been cut now; I\u2019ve been traded twice; I\u2019ve been booed once or twice; [Laughter] cheered plenty of times. I\u2019ve had a lot of different lessons of discipleship that my identity is not as a quarterback; it\u2019s in Christ. I had no fear: \u201cIf I play great, that would be great,\u201d \u201cIf I play medium, okay,\u201d \u201cIf I play terrible, God still loves me; He\u2019s taken me through a bunch anyway.\u201d I have no clue how it\u2019s going to go; I have no confidence, but I don\u2019t have fear, because I\u2019m in God\u2019s hands. \r\n\r\nJim McMahon gets hurt. I come in\u2014I didn\u2019t play heroically, but I played pretty well\u2014and I hardly even knew what I was doing, like, \u201cYou should! You\u2019ve been there all season.\u201d And then, I got blitzed in the worst play of the game when the guy hit me in the jaw, and I was falling back. Keith Jackson catches the only touchdown of the game; we come from behind; we win. And the coach gives me the game ball in the locker room.\r\n\r\nAnn: Wow!\r\n\r\nJeff: Most of the guys didn\u2019t even know my name! [Laughter] I just showed up!\u2014\u201cWho\u2019s Jeff?\u201d And I had the best feeling\u2014because I was complimented, praised, and given glory\u2014but I knew it didn\u2019t belong to me. I hadn\u2019t done this: \u201cThank You, Lord!\u201d\u2014I hope I would have had a pretty similar attitude if I had played terribly, and lost the game, and they cut me\u2014but that was a really cool thing. \r\n\r\nHumility wins; it unites. Pride divides; it destroys; it will destroy a man. If you isolate from other men\u2014don\u2019t build friendships; don\u2019t open up and get honest about your life; walk as a lone ranger\u2014dude, that\u2019s pride. That\u2019s not the way Jesus lived!\r\n\r\nAnn: Let\u2019s talk about that; because men, I feel like, are lonely. I talk to so many men\u2014when I ask, \u201cWho are your friends?\u201d\u2014they say: \u201cMy wife,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t have any.\u201d Is that an epidemic?\u2014is that a crisis?\r\n\r\nJeff: The guys of older generations\u2014you know, World War II and Vietnam era; the soldier guys\u2014are kind of: \u201cBuck up and be tough!\u201d \u201cI have my old fraternity friends,\u201d \u201cI have my old football team friends,\u201d \u201c\u2026my military friends,\u201d\u2014but they don\u2019t really open up about the deep things of life. \r\n\r\nThe younger guys\u2014they had some of that, maybe, in college and high school, where they might have talked about life\u2014but then they get married. There are a lot of responsible husbands, who say, \u201cMan, I\u2019m changing diapers. I\u2019m 50\/50 with her; I\u2019m doing all this stuff. I don\u2019t have time for friendship.\u201d \r\n\r\nI want to give guys, especially Christian dudes, the encouragement: \u201cYou deserve and you need friends, and they need you.\u201d But we\u2019ve got to define friendship, Ann. I have a friend, who said, \u201cMan, I have probably 100 friends.\u201d His wife said, \u201cYou don\u2019t have any friends.\u201d He said, \u201cYes, I do! [Laughter] I know a ton of guys!\u201d She said, \u201cDo any of those guys know what\u2019s going on in your life? And do you know what\u2019s going on in their life?\u201d He said, \u201cNot really.\u201d She said, \u201cThe definition of a friend is someone you\u2019re in touch with regularly, and knows what\u2019s going on in your life. You can help him, and he can help you.\u201d \r\n\r\nThis guy took his wife\u2019s mirror, shining in his face, and he went and intentionally developed some friendships. He\u2019s fabulous; he taught me a lot of the stuff I\u2019m learning and practicing in friendship. A friend is someone who\u2019s consistently connected to help bring out the best in you and to process your life\u2014both backwards, like: \u201cThis week was rough, and I really blew it. I\u2019m going to tell you about it; be honest and live in the light,\u201d\u2014and [forward]: \u201cI\u2019m thinking about doing this next week in business\u2026\u201d, or \u201c\u2026with my wife,\u201d or \u201c\u2026with my son,\u201d processing life ahead. \r\n\r\nThat\u2019s teamwork; I call it Level 5 friendship\u2014not just willingness to get honest and open, and not have any secrets; be confidential, and loyal, and trustworthy\u2014but you\u2019re in touch, at least, every week. You don\u2019t have to be live in the same room; you can do it by phone, or Zoom, or something. Level 5 friendship is transparent, transformative, honest, open\u2014it\u2019s confidential\u2014and you might want to agree on it. Dave, I think if men say, \u201cDo you want to be confidential with me?\u2014because I do with you. Let\u2019s be loyal.\u201d Once a man handshakes with another guy, or nods his head, then you can go deep. Men will go super deep, but you\u2019ve got to give them permission.\r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nJeff: You can\u2019t do it on Twitter; and you can\u2019t do it at the church service; or you know, the corporate board meeting; but you can do it with one, two, or three other Level 5 friends. That\u2019s what I love to coach guys in, and give them a resource to help them, too.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, and you\u2019ve got to model it, too. If you want to go deep, you\u2019ve got to be vulnerable yourself.\r\n\r\nJeff: You\u2019ve got to go first!\r\n\r\nDave: I say, \u201cLead.\u201d You\u2019ve got to\u2014\r\n\r\nJeff: \u2014go first.\r\n\r\nDave: Jeff, I just pulled this up; when was this?\u2014May\/back in May, you were texting me. We were going back and forth about different shows you\u2019ve listened to, here on FamilyLife Today. By the way, thanks to you and Stacy for being loyal listeners. \r\n\r\nJeff: Big time! We love this ministry, and we like to give to it.\r\n\r\nDave: You went right to: \u201cHow are you doing as a man?\u201d\u2014blah, blah. I said, \u201cOur schedule\u2019s pretty crazy,\u201d\u2014blah, blah. I don\u2019t know if you remember what you said.\r\n\r\nJeff: You did tell me. \r\n\r\nDave: You said, \u201cI\u2019ll pray for that. You probably have this, but I\u2019ll throw it out there: \u2018In my weekly Zoom huddle with Pete and Greg, we process what\u2019s about to happen in our lives in front of each other and pray about it.\u2019\u201d Here you go: \u201cWho is the one guy or two, who know you and know what you and Ann are going through, [who] you could process your schedule with and new opportunities in front [of you]?\u2019\u201d You jumped right there.\r\n\r\nJeff: I jumped to Level 4 in an honest way. You appreciate it; you like that about me; it doesn\u2019t make me a jerk. \r\n\r\nBut Level 5 would be if you and I said, \u201cHey, what if we connect every week, Dave?\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Well, that was your next text; because I said, \u201cOh, I\u2019ve got this guy,\u201d\u2014and blah, blah, blah. You said, \u201cYes, that\u2019s Level 4, Dave. [Laughter] I\u2019m talking Level 5: if you want soul coaching, just let me know; and we can set it up,\u201d\u2014with you.\r\n\r\nI mean, you were challenging me, right there, to say, \u201cThis is what\u2026\u201d And every time I think of Jeff Kemp, I think, \u201cHuddle\u201d; I think, \u201cMen\u201d; [Laughter] I think, \u201cLevel 5,\u201d\u2014which, for a lot of guys, that\u2019s scary\u2014we\u2019re afraid of Level 5, you know; because it\u2019s vulnerable, and I have to share my struggle with whatever. Yet, that\u2019s what transforms a man, when you have another man or two that you can go there with\u2014and not just your wife! You should go there with your wife\u2014but there\u2019s got to be another guy as well, right?\r\n\r\nJeff: Totally. You know what? This is scary, because Satan is tricking us and scaring us out of what God wants. To be known, and still liked, feels way better than to be not known\u2014to fake it and to be impressive\u2014but no one really knows you. Honestly, when you share your junk to the other guys, they\u2019ll say, \u201cOh, dude! Man, thank you; because I\u2019ve got some junk, too!\u201d \r\n\r\nC.S. Lewis said, \u201cTrue friendship is born the moment, where one guy says to another, \u2018What?! I thought I was the only one.\u2019\u201d\r\n\r\nDave and Ann: Yes.\r\n\r\nJeff: Now, practically speaking, Dave, you and I will remind guys: \u201cIf you want to have a Level 5 friendship or a Level 4 friendship, it\u2019s not just willy-nilly anyone. First, ask God the Father, \u2018Who?\u2019 Think about who might have a good influence on you; or maybe who needs it; but also, who you want to hang with. And then, ask them, \u2018Hey, would you like to have the type of relationship, where we know each other\u2019s secrets, and we protect each other?\u2014we\u2019re confidential; we\u2019ve got each other\u2019s back. We\u2019re not going to judge each other or fix each other.\u2019\u201d \r\n\r\nOnce you say that to a guy, your friendship will go deep, depending on which one of you initiates and tells his story most honestly, like, \u201cHere\u2019s the childhood that I had\u2026\u201d As soon as you share your stuff, Dave, about your dad and some of your wild exploits\u2014and you\u2019re not pleased about it, because it didn\u2019t lead to good things\u2014the other dude\u2019s going to feel so comfortable, and confident, and safe to be honest about his porn problem, or his anger, or his drinking, or whatever it is.\r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nJeff: This is available, guys. One of my concerns was men don\u2019t really know how to define these levels of friendship, Level 4 and 5. I don\u2019t mean to brand them; Jesus invented this stuff. You know, He said: \r\n\r\n\u201cThomas, you\u2019ve got some doubts; no problem. Put your hand right here in the hole in My side and My hand.\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cPeter, three times, you said I don\u2019t exist after all we\u2019ve been through? That probably doesn\u2019t feel good; does it, Peter? You\u2019re still My dude: \u2018Do you love Me?\u2019 \u2018Do you love Me?\u2019 \u2018Do you love Me?\u2019 You sure do; you\u2019re going to go feed My sheep; you\u2019re going to tend My lambs. I\u2019m going to build My church on you. You are a stud! Peter, you rock!\u201d [Laughter] Do you think Peter deserved that?\u2014earned that? No, Jesus gave it to him.\r\n\r\nDave: But he received it.\r\n\r\nJeff: That friendship was Jesus\u2019s style.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nJeff: I\u2019d like guys to grab the little playbook for Level 5 friendship that\u2019s a free ten-page\u2014it\u2019s kind of a game plan [Laughter]\u2014ManHuddle.com is where I give away that free playbook. You can share it with a friend, and say, \u201cHey, what if we take our friendship deeper?\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: Every leader, who has fallen morally\u2014whether it\u2019s a Christian pastor, or a business leader, a pro athlete, a president; you name it!\u2014every Christian man, who has fallen\u2014and I have not talked to all of them; I know some of them\u2014I guarantee you they did not have a Level 5 man in their life: a friendship, where their secrets were being confessed to and received on a weekly basis. I guarantee it.\r\n\r\nAll I\u2019m saying is, if you\u2019re a man, and you don\u2019t have a man or two in your life, you\u2019re headed for a fall.\r\n\r\nJeff: You\u2019re at risk.\r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019m not predicting it, but you are risking\u2014you\u2019ve got a secret; you\u2019ve got a struggle; so do I; so does Jeff\u2014if you don\u2019t have anybody in your life, besides your wife who knows that, you\u2019re on a cliff; and you\u2019re about to go over. I\u2019m just saying, \u201cThe way to save your life\u201d\u2014part of it is, obviously, receive from Jesus; that\u2019s the foundation\u2014\"but you need a man. It may be the first time you\u2019ve ever told them, but you need to tell somebody and start this journey with other men.\u201d It will save your life; it will save your legacy!\r\n\r\nJeff: Totally! And you know, there\u2019s another side to it. You just kind of painted the gravity of not having it: \u201cYou\u2019re at risk,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re going to crash.\u201d The other side of it is: it\u2019s flat-out fun to have a real friend; it\u2019s fun! Men are made for this! We are team guys; we\u2019re brothers. I don\u2019t care\u2014if you\u2019re an artist, a musician, a technology guy\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014a gamer,\u2014Jeff: \u2014a laborer,  whatever\u2014you like friendship! \r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014and you need it.\r\n\r\nJeff: And God wires it into us, and Jesus modeled it. Guess what?\u2014no budget, no marketing plan\u2014and Jesus changed the world with 12 friends, whom He turned into His friends. He said, \u201cI call you \u2018friends.\u2019 Now, be friends and go out, two by two.\u201d It changed the world!\r\n\r\nI mean, we talk about discipleship, mentorship, small groups, Bible studies, accountability groups\u2014you can join a group and unjoin a group\u2014you can\u2019t unjoin a friend. And you can\u2019t have ten of them at Level 5.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes; right; just a few.\r\n\r\nJeff: But you can help other guys know, \u201cHey, I\u2019m already connected with a guy, but we love doing this. Do you have a friend you can do that with?\u201d I think men should spread this to everyone else; don\u2019t keep it to yourself.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nShelby: Isolation in the Christian life is always a recipe for failure, sadness, and destruction. Now, if you\u2019re in a position right now where you don\u2019t really have any good friends\u2014this was me a couple of years ago\u2014but I just looked around and thought, \u201cI don\u2019t really have any good, close friends who I would call people I could walk with in life, who would help me walk with Jesus, and I would encourage them to walk with Jesus.\u201d I just prayed, and I told my wife to pray for me as well. God provided two very good friends in my life, whom I am able to walk alongside, encourage them to walk with Jesus, and they encourage me as well. If you\u2019re in that position like I was a couple of years ago, pray right now, and your prayers can shape your destiny. Ask God to provide some good friends for you.\r\n\r\nI\u2019m Shelby Abbott. You\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Jeff Kemp on FamilyLife Today. Jeff has written a book called Receive: The Way of Jesus for Men. Now, if you want to grow, and develop, and reach your potential as a man\u2014which sounds great\u2014it\u2019s going to be a team effort. This book can help you in that process of trying to find more good friends, who will help you walk with God. It's going to be our gift to you when you partner with us financially here at FamilyLife Today. You can go online to FamilyLifeToday.com, or give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329. Again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d And feel free to drop us something in the mail if you would like, too; our address is FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, FL 32832. \r\n\r\nMake sure to check out Jeff\u2019s \u201cLevel Five Friendship Playbook\u201d in the show notes today. It will help you learn how to build a brotherhood of men you can be honest with, reveal your struggles to, and bond in the way of Jesus. Again, you can find that in our show notes today. And tomorrow, Jeff Kemp[ is going to be back, again, with Dave and Ann Wilson to talk about exploring the essence of manhood, receiving power from Jesus, and watching our lives change. That\u2019s tomorrow; we hope you\u2019ll join us. \r\n\r\nOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?  \r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2023 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife                                 \r\n\r\n\n"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-280402.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-280402.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-e11dbe9f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-e11dbe9f > 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feel the burn of trying to prove yourself as a guy? Former NFL Seahawks quarterback Jeff Kemp shows what it means to receive your identity as God's son and drink in Jesus' perfect example of being a man. Build a brotherhood and grab a copy of Jeff Ke...","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2023-11-07.pdf","transcript_content":"\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript\r\n\r\nReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.\r\n\r\nReceive: The Way of Jesus for Men\r\n\r\nGuest:Jeff Kemp\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Receive: The Way of Jesus for Men (Day 2 of 3)\r\n\r\nAir date:November 7, 2003\r\n\r\nJeff: To be known, and still liked, feels way better than to be not known\u2014to fake it and to be impressive\u2014but no one really knows you.\r\n\r\nShelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. \r\n\r\nAnn: This is FamilyLife\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014Today.\r\n\r\nDave: Are you excited about today?\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes, because we\u2019re going to talk about the crisis going on in our country.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, we\u2019ve got an expert in the studio\u2014Jeff Kemp is back\u2014and we\u2019re going to talk about the manhood crisis. It\u2019s been a crisis for a long time; but we\u2019re feeling it in a way, in this generation, I don\u2019t know if we\u2019ve ever felt it before.\r\n\r\nAnn: And we\u2019re going to be talking about his book, Receive. The subtitle is The Way of Jesus for Men. Jeff, you tell us: \u201cWhat is the crisis?\u201d Because you\u2019ve been talking about this, thinking about it, dreaming about it, and wanting to help men.\r\n\r\nJeff: Well, a crisis of men not doing well, either having no confidence or having confidence in the wrong things\u2014it damages, not just them: we have higher suicide rates and depression rates; obviously, loneliness and isolation\u2014but it damages the women they don\u2019t marry, that they should; the women they\u2019re married to\/their wives, and the kids who aren\u2019t getting a healthy dad, who knows how to connect, and love, and persevere through challenges, and invest in them.\r\n\r\nBeneath the crisis of manhood is the crisis of identity\u2014that touches women, teenage girls, teenage boys, little boys, little girls, old men, young men, and women as well\u2014but men in particular really struggle; because they\u2019re told: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to prove yourself; you\u2019ve got to earn your identity. You\u2019ve got to be something!\u201d Andre Agassi said, \u201cImage is everything.\u201d We\u2019ve been practicing that since that famous athlete\u2014who had a blonde wig and, actually, was going bald\u2014he took a shower before a tennis match one time; and his wig got kind of wigged out, to use a phrase. [Laughter] It was starting to come off, and he was afraid during a match, Dave. This is one of the best tennis players in the world!\r\n\r\nAnn: I read this in your book! I had never known this.\r\n\r\nJeff: Yes! He was worried about his hairpiece coming off, and his image not looking good; and he lost the tournament. \r\n\r\nDave: I get this, Jeff; I understand that. Oh, dear! [Laughter] \r\n\r\nJeff: It\u2019s got nothing to do with you, Dave. [Laughter] \r\n\r\nIf we\u2019re basing our lives on our image, our performance, our achievement\u2014you know, who\u2019s following us, our last position, etc., what the crowd thinks of us\u2014we\u2019re on very shaky ground. You can\u2019t relate well to people when you\u2019re worried about what they think about you.\r\n\r\nDave: Well, it\u2019s interesting: we\u2019re sitting here talking to you\u2014and of all the people in the world, who have had an image that most men would just die to have: you played in the NFL; you know, you\u2019re one of sixty-four quarterbacks; I mean, starters and backups\u2014you\u2019re in that club!\r\n\r\nAnn: You went to an Ivy League school. \r\n\r\nDave: I mean, you\u2019ve got everything. A lot of men would say, \u201cIf I had what Jeff Kemp had, I would be okay. [My] image would be alright; my identity\u2026\u201d\r\n\r\nJeff: The truth is, if you had what Jeff Kemp had, it wouldn\u2019t have been enough for you, like it wasn\u2019t for me: I didn\u2019t want to be a backup; I wanted to be a starter. I didn\u2019t want to start; I wanted to win the Super Bowl. Secondly, you might be confident on the outside; but you\u2019d still be insecure, as I was. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yesterday, we talked about the first part of your book\u2014receiving\u2014to receive as a son. That\u2019s your identity\u2014as a son\u2014not as an individual, who\u2019s striving to earn the respect or the fame.\r\n\r\nJeff: Exactly. It\u2019s much easier to be a real (authentic, natural, not faking it) and good (benevolent, positive, making a difference\/benefit people)\u2014it\u2019s much easier to be a real and good man if you can receive it from the only One, who\u2019s real and good perfectly\u2014Jesus\u2014than trying to perform for it or achieve it; because you\u2019re going to fall short, and then you\u2019re going to feel some shame and failure. Then you\u2019re going to start pretending or hiding it; you\u2019re always going to fall short. There\u2019s always going to be somebody you can compare to who\u2019s better, like in football.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nJeff: But Jesus is the blueprint of manhood. Look for the core of masculinity and manhood in Jesus; that will work across all cultures. The problem is, even to try to be like Him is a losing proposition, I\u2019m never going to measure up to Him.\r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nJeff: But if you look at the way He lived as a man, that gives everyone hope. He basically did it by depending on His Father and receiving from His Father\u2014not moving until His Father said, \u201cMove\u201d; not talking until His Father said, \u201cSay this,\u201d\u2014and then giving the credit to the Father, which kept Him humble. No one\u2019s been more humble than the perfect Man. Dave and I\u2014we\u2019re not quite perfect\u2014and we have a little problem with pride still, right? [Laughter] It\u2019s silly, you know?\u2014the imperfect people are proud\u2014but Jesus, the perfect One, was humble. \r\n\r\nThe way of Jesus\/of receiving\u2014I looked through the Bible, starting in 2020, when Covid hit\u2014I went home, and had no speeches, nothing to do but to work on this book and ask God to re-Father me. I found 221 ways in the Gospels that Jesus acted as a man. They net out to this\u2014He connected with His Father to receive His Father\u2019s guidance\u2014[from] Luke, Mark, Matthew, I have all these passages:\r\n\r\n\u201cI had to be in My Father\u2019s house.\u201d That was when He was 12 years old. \r\n\r\n\u201cEarly in the morning, when it was dark, Jesus got up, got out of the house, went to a solitary place, and prayed to His Father.\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cAt daybreak, Jesus went out to an isolated place.\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cHe often withdrew to pray.\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cImmediately after this\u2026\u201d\u2014this is the feeding of the 5,000\u2014He told His disciples to get into the boat and go out into the storm; and He went up in the mountain to be with His Father, and He spent the night in prayer with His Father. \r\n\r\nHe took Peter, James, and John\u2014that sounds like a [few] deep Level 5-close friends; they had a higher level than even the 12\u2014and He took them to the mountain, where He was transfigured. He let them share that special experience of connecting with the Father. \r\n\r\nJesus always connected to the Father. Then, here\u2019s the wildest thing; it says this in John\u2014multiple chapters\u2014\u201cJesus said, \u2018My Father\u2019s always at work, and so am I. I only do, and I only say what My Father tells me to say and do,\u2019\u201d \u201cThe words I share, I have gotten them from My Father.\u201d Then He says this, \u201cThe Son can do nothing apart from the Father.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: Woo!\r\n\r\nJeff: Basically, the perfect most powerful Man in history, who also was present at the creation of the world and had a hand in that, and rises from the dead, and He\u2019s so stinking strong that He chooses to bear the load of all sin for all time\u2014the strongest, most perfect man ever\u2014says, \u201cI can do nothing apart from My Father.\u201d What that really means is He chose to humble Himself and be dependent upon His Father. And that made Him the greatest man ever.\r\n\r\nDave: Even as I hear you say that, I think, \u201cDo we believe what Jesus knew was reality?\u2014 \u2018I can do nothing apart from my Father\u2019?\u201d Jesus said in John 15, \u201cI am the vine; you are the branches. Apart from me, you can do nothing.\u201d\r\n\r\nJeff: \u2014nothing.\r\n\r\nDave: I think\u2014as a pastor, I preached that\u2014\u201cDo I believe it?\u201d There\u2019s part of me [saying], \u201cWell, I can do some things; I can\u2019t do big things.\u201d No! What Jesus is saying is, \u201cYou can do nothing apart from Me.\u201d He lived that way; I think there\u2019s part of the pride in a man to say, \u201cYes, I agree with that 95 percent\u201d; but 5 percent of me says, \u201cI\u2019m not that bad!\u201d\r\n\r\nJeff: Right.\r\n\r\nAnn: That\u2019s so funny!\r\n\r\nDave: You know? \r\n\r\nJeff: Well, it goes back to the two things we talked about in the last show: the two most important things shaping you are:\r\n\r\nYour view of God: \u201cIs it accurate or not?\u201d and \r\n\r\nYour view of yourself: \u201cIs it accurate or not?\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nJeff: If your view of God is inaccurate, you\u2019re not so sure that depending totally on God in every situation is really going to turn out that well. I thought, leading up to when I graduated from college, \u201cIt\u2019s not going to be that fun if I give myself totally to God.\r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nAnn: That was Dave, too!\r\n\r\nDave: Literally.\r\n\r\nJeff: \u201cSo I\u2019m going to hold on\u2014I\u2019ll take the salvation piece\u2014but I\u2019m kind of in charge of everything else.\u201d \r\n\r\nI would urge any man: God is a trillion times better than you think. Go straight to the source\u2014ask Him what He\u2019s really like\u2014read the Bible. The Prodigal Son story?\u2014read about his dad; that\u2019s what Jesus said the Father\u2019s like. So if you really trust Him\u2014that He\u2019s that benevolent and good\u2014then you\u2019re a little bit more okay with this. \r\n\r\nYour other point was: \u201cWe like control:\u2014Dave: Yes.\r\n\r\nJeff: \u2014\u201c\u2019Ah, I want to take charge. I want to say: \u201cI cleaned up my life; I straightened out that alcohol thing,\u201d \u201cI fixed that debt problem we had; I\u2019m proud of that.\u201d\u2019\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: I mean, it\u2019s in us! I remember, at our church, we had multiple campuses. We would have live teaching; but one of us would write the message, right? I write this message. I bump into some guy or lady the next day on Monday. She was at a different campus\u2014and here\u2019s what she said, \u201cMan,\u201d; it wasn\u2019t Jeff, but I\u2019ll use your name\u2014\u201cJeff preached yesterday the most amazing message. I\u2019m so impressed by him!\u201d Now, Jeff, what am I thinking?\u2014\"I wrote it.\u201d \r\n\r\nJeff: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: She\u2019s thinking he wrote it. Who cares who wrote it?\u2014it\u2019s the Word of God; all I did was preach it. But it\u2019s in there [pride].\r\n\r\nThat also points to identity: \u201cWho am I?\u201d I\u2019m not acting like a son; I\u2019m acting like the older brother. You know, I\u2019m mad at somebody else, who\u2019s getting credit for what I did.\r\n\r\nJeff: You want to keep score. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nJeff: There\u2019s a paradox. I think we know the Christian life\/the Jesus Way is upside-down to the world.\r\n\r\nAnn: Right.\r\n\r\nJeff: We don\u2019t really live it that well, but it is. There\u2019s a pride\/humility paradox. Pride says, \u201cI want to be in control; I want to earn it; I want to perform it, and I\u2019d like the credit for it.\u201d \r\n\r\nHumility says, \u201cI didn\u2019t invent myself. I\u2019m going to submit to the God who made me; I\u2019m going to depend on Him. And I\u2019m going to make the interest of others ahead of myself.\u201d It\u2019s not making less of yourself; it\u2019s thinking of yourself less, because you\u2019re thinking of others.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nJeff: Jesus is the definition of humility; Philippians 2 clarifies it real clearly. \r\n\r\nHere\u2019s how pride destroys and humility wins: two football stories. \r\n\r\nIn my last season of football, we\u2019re playing on Sunday Night Football against the Raiders; I\u2019m on the Seahawks. We were leading, going into the fourth quarter; and I thought, \u201cGood.\u201d I had a pretty good game; we needed to win. \u201cThis is really going to help; whew!\u201d You know, \u201cWay to go!\u201d Meanwhile, the coaches were thinking similarly: \u201cLet\u2019s go to some conservative offensive calling,\u201d and \u201cLet\u2019s go to some prevent defense.\u201d \r\n\r\nJay Schroeder picked us apart that night. We went into overtime and, trying to protect things, I threw a pass that a friend of mine caught in overtime; his name was Ronnie Lott, and he was on the wrong team. [Laughter] That interception cost us the game, because they kicked a field goal in the next play. I was cut from the NFL, as a starting quarterback, the next day; humbled completely! \r\n\r\nAnn: Oh!\r\n\r\nJeff: Because I had been operating out of: \u201cI\u2019m pretty good,\u201d \u201cI need to get this win; protect the win\/our pride\u201d; and we lost. \r\n\r\nMonday night, about five weeks later, I\u2019m in Philadelphia, playing for the Eagles. I don\u2019t know the system; I haven\u2019t practiced much. I had a concussion my first week when I played with them\u2014went to the hospital\u2014and this was like two weeks later, and we\u2019re going to Houston to play Monday Night Football.\r\n\r\nAnn: Oh.\r\n\r\nJeff: I\u2019m flying down there, Dave, in the plane and on the bus\u2014and on the sidelines in pre-game\u2014I\u2019m thinking, \u201cThis is the first time in my life I\u2019ve never wanted to get in the game,\u201d because [I have] no confidence. But there was a cool thing: I\u2019m 11 years into my walk with Christ. I\u2019ve been cut now; I\u2019ve been traded twice; I\u2019ve been booed once or twice; [Laughter] cheered plenty of times. I\u2019ve had a lot of different lessons of discipleship that my identity is not as a quarterback; it\u2019s in Christ. I had no fear: \u201cIf I play great, that would be great,\u201d \u201cIf I play medium, okay,\u201d \u201cIf I play terrible, God still loves me; He\u2019s taken me through a bunch anyway.\u201d I have no clue how it\u2019s going to go; I have no confidence, but I don\u2019t have fear, because I\u2019m in God\u2019s hands. \r\n\r\nJim McMahon gets hurt. I come in\u2014I didn\u2019t play heroically, but I played pretty well\u2014and I hardly even knew what I was doing, like, \u201cYou should! You\u2019ve been there all season.\u201d And then, I got blitzed in the worst play of the game when the guy hit me in the jaw, and I was falling back. Keith Jackson catches the only touchdown of the game; we come from behind; we win. And the coach gives me the game ball in the locker room.\r\n\r\nAnn: Wow!\r\n\r\nJeff: Most of the guys didn\u2019t even know my name! [Laughter] I just showed up!\u2014\u201cWho\u2019s Jeff?\u201d And I had the best feeling\u2014because I was complimented, praised, and given glory\u2014but I knew it didn\u2019t belong to me. I hadn\u2019t done this: \u201cThank You, Lord!\u201d\u2014I hope I would have had a pretty similar attitude if I had played terribly, and lost the game, and they cut me\u2014but that was a really cool thing. \r\n\r\nHumility wins; it unites. Pride divides; it destroys; it will destroy a man. If you isolate from other men\u2014don\u2019t build friendships; don\u2019t open up and get honest about your life; walk as a lone ranger\u2014dude, that\u2019s pride. That\u2019s not the way Jesus lived!\r\n\r\nAnn: Let\u2019s talk about that; because men, I feel like, are lonely. I talk to so many men\u2014when I ask, \u201cWho are your friends?\u201d\u2014they say: \u201cMy wife,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t have any.\u201d Is that an epidemic?\u2014is that a crisis?\r\n\r\nJeff: The guys of older generations\u2014you know, World War II and Vietnam era; the soldier guys\u2014are kind of: \u201cBuck up and be tough!\u201d \u201cI have my old fraternity friends,\u201d \u201cI have my old football team friends,\u201d \u201c\u2026my military friends,\u201d\u2014but they don\u2019t really open up about the deep things of life. \r\n\r\nThe younger guys\u2014they had some of that, maybe, in college and high school, where they might have talked about life\u2014but then they get married. There are a lot of responsible husbands, who say, \u201cMan, I\u2019m changing diapers. I\u2019m 50\/50 with her; I\u2019m doing all this stuff. I don\u2019t have time for friendship.\u201d \r\n\r\nI want to give guys, especially Christian dudes, the encouragement: \u201cYou deserve and you need friends, and they need you.\u201d But we\u2019ve got to define friendship, Ann. I have a friend, who said, \u201cMan, I have probably 100 friends.\u201d His wife said, \u201cYou don\u2019t have any friends.\u201d He said, \u201cYes, I do! [Laughter] I know a ton of guys!\u201d She said, \u201cDo any of those guys know what\u2019s going on in your life? And do you know what\u2019s going on in their life?\u201d He said, \u201cNot really.\u201d She said, \u201cThe definition of a friend is someone you\u2019re in touch with regularly, and knows what\u2019s going on in your life. You can help him, and he can help you.\u201d \r\n\r\nThis guy took his wife\u2019s mirror, shining in his face, and he went and intentionally developed some friendships. He\u2019s fabulous; he taught me a lot of the stuff I\u2019m learning and practicing in friendship. A friend is someone who\u2019s consistently connected to help bring out the best in you and to process your life\u2014both backwards, like: \u201cThis week was rough, and I really blew it. I\u2019m going to tell you about it; be honest and live in the light,\u201d\u2014and [forward]: \u201cI\u2019m thinking about doing this next week in business\u2026\u201d, or \u201c\u2026with my wife,\u201d or \u201c\u2026with my son,\u201d processing life ahead. \r\n\r\nThat\u2019s teamwork; I call it Level 5 friendship\u2014not just willingness to get honest and open, and not have any secrets; be confidential, and loyal, and trustworthy\u2014but you\u2019re in touch, at least, every week. You don\u2019t have to be live in the same room; you can do it by phone, or Zoom, or something. Level 5 friendship is transparent, transformative, honest, open\u2014it\u2019s confidential\u2014and you might want to agree on it. Dave, I think if men say, \u201cDo you want to be confidential with me?\u2014because I do with you. Let\u2019s be loyal.\u201d Once a man handshakes with another guy, or nods his head, then you can go deep. Men will go super deep, but you\u2019ve got to give them permission.\r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nJeff: You can\u2019t do it on Twitter; and you can\u2019t do it at the church service; or you know, the corporate board meeting; but you can do it with one, two, or three other Level 5 friends. That\u2019s what I love to coach guys in, and give them a resource to help them, too.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, and you\u2019ve got to model it, too. If you want to go deep, you\u2019ve got to be vulnerable yourself.\r\n\r\nJeff: You\u2019ve got to go first!\r\n\r\nDave: I say, \u201cLead.\u201d You\u2019ve got to\u2014\r\n\r\nJeff: \u2014go first.\r\n\r\nDave: Jeff, I just pulled this up; when was this?\u2014May\/back in May, you were texting me. We were going back and forth about different shows you\u2019ve listened to, here on FamilyLife Today. By the way, thanks to you and Stacy for being loyal listeners. \r\n\r\nJeff: Big time! We love this ministry, and we like to give to it.\r\n\r\nDave: You went right to: \u201cHow are you doing as a man?\u201d\u2014blah, blah. I said, \u201cOur schedule\u2019s pretty crazy,\u201d\u2014blah, blah. I don\u2019t know if you remember what you said.\r\n\r\nJeff: You did tell me. \r\n\r\nDave: You said, \u201cI\u2019ll pray for that. You probably have this, but I\u2019ll throw it out there: \u2018In my weekly Zoom huddle with Pete and Greg, we process what\u2019s about to happen in our lives in front of each other and pray about it.\u2019\u201d Here you go: \u201cWho is the one guy or two, who know you and know what you and Ann are going through, [who] you could process your schedule with and new opportunities in front [of you]?\u2019\u201d You jumped right there.\r\n\r\nJeff: I jumped to Level 4 in an honest way. You appreciate it; you like that about me; it doesn\u2019t make me a jerk. \r\n\r\nBut Level 5 would be if you and I said, \u201cHey, what if we connect every week, Dave?\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Well, that was your next text; because I said, \u201cOh, I\u2019ve got this guy,\u201d\u2014and blah, blah, blah. You said, \u201cYes, that\u2019s Level 4, Dave. [Laughter] I\u2019m talking Level 5: if you want soul coaching, just let me know; and we can set it up,\u201d\u2014with you.\r\n\r\nI mean, you were challenging me, right there, to say, \u201cThis is what\u2026\u201d And every time I think of Jeff Kemp, I think, \u201cHuddle\u201d; I think, \u201cMen\u201d; [Laughter] I think, \u201cLevel 5,\u201d\u2014which, for a lot of guys, that\u2019s scary\u2014we\u2019re afraid of Level 5, you know; because it\u2019s vulnerable, and I have to share my struggle with whatever. Yet, that\u2019s what transforms a man, when you have another man or two that you can go there with\u2014and not just your wife! You should go there with your wife\u2014but there\u2019s got to be another guy as well, right?\r\n\r\nJeff: Totally. You know what? This is scary, because Satan is tricking us and scaring us out of what God wants. To be known, and still liked, feels way better than to be not known\u2014to fake it and to be impressive\u2014but no one really knows you. Honestly, when you share your junk to the other guys, they\u2019ll say, \u201cOh, dude! Man, thank you; because I\u2019ve got some junk, too!\u201d \r\n\r\nC.S. Lewis said, \u201cTrue friendship is born the moment, where one guy says to another, \u2018What?! I thought I was the only one.\u2019\u201d\r\n\r\nDave and Ann: Yes.\r\n\r\nJeff: Now, practically speaking, Dave, you and I will remind guys: \u201cIf you want to have a Level 5 friendship or a Level 4 friendship, it\u2019s not just willy-nilly anyone. First, ask God the Father, \u2018Who?\u2019 Think about who might have a good influence on you; or maybe who needs it; but also, who you want to hang with. And then, ask them, \u2018Hey, would you like to have the type of relationship, where we know each other\u2019s secrets, and we protect each other?\u2014we\u2019re confidential; we\u2019ve got each other\u2019s back. We\u2019re not going to judge each other or fix each other.\u2019\u201d \r\n\r\nOnce you say that to a guy, your friendship will go deep, depending on which one of you initiates and tells his story most honestly, like, \u201cHere\u2019s the childhood that I had\u2026\u201d As soon as you share your stuff, Dave, about your dad and some of your wild exploits\u2014and you\u2019re not pleased about it, because it didn\u2019t lead to good things\u2014the other dude\u2019s going to feel so comfortable, and confident, and safe to be honest about his porn problem, or his anger, or his drinking, or whatever it is.\r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nJeff: This is available, guys. One of my concerns was men don\u2019t really know how to define these levels of friendship, Level 4 and 5. I don\u2019t mean to brand them; Jesus invented this stuff. You know, He said: \r\n\r\n\u201cThomas, you\u2019ve got some doubts; no problem. Put your hand right here in the hole in My side and My hand.\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cPeter, three times, you said I don\u2019t exist after all we\u2019ve been through? That probably doesn\u2019t feel good; does it, Peter? You\u2019re still My dude: \u2018Do you love Me?\u2019 \u2018Do you love Me?\u2019 \u2018Do you love Me?\u2019 You sure do; you\u2019re going to go feed My sheep; you\u2019re going to tend My lambs. I\u2019m going to build My church on you. You are a stud! Peter, you rock!\u201d [Laughter] Do you think Peter deserved that?\u2014earned that? No, Jesus gave it to him.\r\n\r\nDave: But he received it.\r\n\r\nJeff: That friendship was Jesus\u2019s style.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nJeff: I\u2019d like guys to grab the little playbook for Level 5 friendship that\u2019s a free ten-page\u2014it\u2019s kind of a game plan [Laughter]\u2014ManHuddle.com is where I give away that free playbook. You can share it with a friend, and say, \u201cHey, what if we take our friendship deeper?\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: Every leader, who has fallen morally\u2014whether it\u2019s a Christian pastor, or a business leader, a pro athlete, a president; you name it!\u2014every Christian man, who has fallen\u2014and I have not talked to all of them; I know some of them\u2014I guarantee you they did not have a Level 5 man in their life: a friendship, where their secrets were being confessed to and received on a weekly basis. I guarantee it.\r\n\r\nAll I\u2019m saying is, if you\u2019re a man, and you don\u2019t have a man or two in your life, you\u2019re headed for a fall.\r\n\r\nJeff: You\u2019re at risk.\r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019m not predicting it, but you are risking\u2014you\u2019ve got a secret; you\u2019ve got a struggle; so do I; so does Jeff\u2014if you don\u2019t have anybody in your life, besides your wife who knows that, you\u2019re on a cliff; and you\u2019re about to go over. I\u2019m just saying, \u201cThe way to save your life\u201d\u2014part of it is, obviously, receive from Jesus; that\u2019s the foundation\u2014\"but you need a man. It may be the first time you\u2019ve ever told them, but you need to tell somebody and start this journey with other men.\u201d It will save your life; it will save your legacy!\r\n\r\nJeff: Totally! And you know, there\u2019s another side to it. You just kind of painted the gravity of not having it: \u201cYou\u2019re at risk,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re going to crash.\u201d The other side of it is: it\u2019s flat-out fun to have a real friend; it\u2019s fun! Men are made for this! We are team guys; we\u2019re brothers. I don\u2019t care\u2014if you\u2019re an artist, a musician, a technology guy\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014a gamer,\u2014Jeff: \u2014a laborer,  whatever\u2014you like friendship! \r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014and you need it.\r\n\r\nJeff: And God wires it into us, and Jesus modeled it. Guess what?\u2014no budget, no marketing plan\u2014and Jesus changed the world with 12 friends, whom He turned into His friends. He said, \u201cI call you \u2018friends.\u2019 Now, be friends and go out, two by two.\u201d It changed the world!\r\n\r\nI mean, we talk about discipleship, mentorship, small groups, Bible studies, accountability groups\u2014you can join a group and unjoin a group\u2014you can\u2019t unjoin a friend. And you can\u2019t have ten of them at Level 5.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes; right; just a few.\r\n\r\nJeff: But you can help other guys know, \u201cHey, I\u2019m already connected with a guy, but we love doing this. Do you have a friend you can do that with?\u201d I think men should spread this to everyone else; don\u2019t keep it to yourself.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nShelby: Isolation in the Christian life is always a recipe for failure, sadness, and destruction. Now, if you\u2019re in a position right now where you don\u2019t really have any good friends\u2014this was me a couple of years ago\u2014but I just looked around and thought, \u201cI don\u2019t really have any good, close friends who I would call people I could walk with in life, who would help me walk with Jesus, and I would encourage them to walk with Jesus.\u201d I just prayed, and I told my wife to pray for me as well. God provided two very good friends in my life, whom I am able to walk alongside, encourage them to walk with Jesus, and they encourage me as well. If you\u2019re in that position like I was a couple of years ago, pray right now, and your prayers can shape your destiny. Ask God to provide some good friends for you.\r\n\r\nI\u2019m Shelby Abbott. You\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Jeff Kemp on FamilyLife Today. Jeff has written a book called Receive: The Way of Jesus for Men. Now, if you want to grow, and develop, and reach your potential as a man\u2014which sounds great\u2014it\u2019s going to be a team effort. This book can help you in that process of trying to find more good friends, who will help you walk with God. It's going to be our gift to you when you partner with us financially here at FamilyLife Today. You can go online to FamilyLifeToday.com, or give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329. Again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d And feel free to drop us something in the mail if you would like, too; our address is FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, FL 32832. \r\n\r\nMake sure to check out Jeff\u2019s \u201cLevel Five Friendship Playbook\u201d in the show notes today. It will help you learn how to build a brotherhood of men you can be honest with, reveal your struggles to, and bond in the way of Jesus. Again, you can find that in our show notes today. And tomorrow, Jeff Kemp[ is going to be back, again, with Dave and Ann Wilson to talk about exploring the essence of manhood, receiving power from Jesus, and watching our lives change. That\u2019s tomorrow; we hope you\u2019ll join us. \r\n\r\nOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?  \r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2023 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife                                 \r\n\r\n\n","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/280402","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=280402"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280866"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=280402"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=280402"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=280402"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=280402"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=280402"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=280402"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}