{"id":280390,"date":"2023-11-23T10:15:00","date_gmt":"2023-11-23T15:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/right-where-you-belong-heather-macfadyen\/"},"modified":"2025-05-06T14:23:19","modified_gmt":"2025-05-06T18:23:19","slug":"right-where-you-belong-heather-macfadyen","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/right-where-you-belong-heather-macfadyen\/","title":{"rendered":"Right Where You Belong: Heather MacFadyen"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Feel torn in every direction? Heather MacFadyen, author of Right Where You Belong, brings the empowering message to simply occupy your God-given space&#8211;a Hebrew definition of humility. God has given you talents and a sphere of influence. Your role is to fill that space, empowered by the Holy Spirit. It&#8217;s time to replace FOMO, inadequacy, and hustle culture with the satisfaction that comes from owning the space we&#8217;ve been assigned.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Feel torn in every direction? Heather MacFadyen, author of Right Where You Belong, brings the empowering message to simply occupy your God-given space&#8211;a Hebrew definition of humility. God has given you talents and a sphere of influence. Your role is to f&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280866,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/01743241-8f6d-4e7f-9d3c-b154011d17d3\/audio.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:32:56","filesize":"30.18M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2023-11-23 10:15:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[],"tags":[2217],"podcast_series":[8704],"cwp_profile":[9774],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-280390","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-right-where-you-belong","podcast_series-right-where-you-belong-heather-macfadyen","cwp_profile-heather-macfadyen","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/04\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/280390\/right-where-you-belong-heather-macfadyen","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/280390\/right-where-you-belong-heather-macfadyen","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"YNLECTfewC\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/right-where-you-belong-heather-macfadyen\/\">Right Where You Belong: Heather MacFadyen<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/right-where-you-belong-heather-macfadyen\/embed\/#?secret=YNLECTfewC\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Right Where You Belong: Heather MacFadyen&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"YNLECTfewC\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/04\/image-scaled.jpg",1024,1024,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Margaret","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coylefamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Feel torn in every direction? Heather MacFadyen, author of Right Where You Belong, brings the empowering message to simply occupy your God-given space--a Hebrew definition of humility. God has given you talents and a sphere of influence. Your role is to f...","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<p>Find out more about Heather McFayden at <a href=\"https:\/\/heathermacfadyen.com\/\">heathermacfadyen.com<\/a> and listen to more of <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/guest\/heather-macfadyen\/\">podcasts of her on FamilyLife Today<\/a>.<br \/>\n..and get her book, <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/right-where-you-belong-how-to-identify-fully-occupy-your-god-given-space\/\">Right Where You Belong: How to Identify and Fully Occupy Your God-Given Space<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><br \/>\nFind more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<br \/>\nHelp others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<br \/>\nCheck out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/p>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2023-11-23.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Right Where You Belong<\/p>\n<p>Guest:Heather MacFadyen<\/p>\n<p>From the series:Right Where You Belong (Day 1 of 2)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:November 23, 2023<\/p>\n<p>Heather: We are limited in our view of time, of God\u2019s bigger purposes, and of His plans. We think we know, but if we really could, in faith, believe we serve a God who is so big and so good and [who] has something beyond our imagination planned, that\u2019s the bigger picture. That\u2019s the, \u201cWhy am I here?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So, I\u2019ve never asked you this question. I just thought of it this morning.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Okay.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Do you ever struggle with FOMO?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Fear Of Missing Out.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: No, I would say you do not!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I totally do!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I was driving over here thinking, \u201cI\u2019ve got to ask you this!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: No. If somebody\u2019s having fun, or you\u2019re doing something and all your friends are together, and I\u2019m not there, I totally have that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Really?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Do you? I know you do!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I do.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: For sure, you do!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I want to be everywhere all the time.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I know you do.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, I mean\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014well, I only want to be where it\u2019s fun and people are laughing. [Laughter] That\u2019s what I want\u2014where I want\u2014to be.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So, why did I ask you that today?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You don\u2019t know?!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: No.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Because we\u2019re going to talk about it! I think we\u2019re going to talk about it. Heather MacFadyen is with us.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And it goes along with the title of your book.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So, that\u2019s why I brought it up, honey. I don\u2019t know if you got that connection.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I\u2019ve got that now. [Laughter] I\u2019ve got it!<\/p>\n<p>The book is called Right Where You Belong: How to Identify and Fully Occupy Your God-Given Space.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And your God-given space right now is being a mom. You have four boys. Your podcast is Don\u2019t Mom Alone.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Do you struggle with that, being a mom?<\/p>\n<p>Heather: I think that it was through that mom ministry that I realized I wasn\u2019t the only one who struggled. Specifically in motherhood, I think there are a lot of amazing, capable women who feel like they have competing purposes and callings with things that they loved to do prior to being a mom. Then, you throw in motherhood, and they want to go all in and be amazing moms, too. They\u2019re like, \u201cIs this okay? Is it okay that I love to create music or sing? Is it okay that I\u2019m a teacher?\u201d Or they may not have a choice. So, they are working outside the home and wanting to be amazing moms and work outside the home to provide for their family, so they can provide the opportunities. They\u2019re feeling that tension.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Oh, we all feel that tension!<\/p>\n<p>Heather: All the time, yes. God honors those who honor Him. I just needed to be reminded of that. And wouldn\u2019t you know, I prayed a little prayer: \u201cLord, could you just throw me a bone?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Heather: \u201cJust a little reminder that this matters?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cAnd I\u2019m in the right place?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Heather: \u201cAnd I\u2019m in the right place?\u201d A mom walked up to me who creates amazing documentaries. She was about to have her third baby, and she had just started reading my first book, Don\u2019t Mom Alone. She was just saying how much it meant to her and how thankful she was for the podcast. I thought, \u201cThank You, God, that You see just the smallest parts of our heart that need encouragement, and that that woman, being obedient to say something, was the ripple effect in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: She didn\u2019t know it, but the one Spirit we have knows that we get to be stewards of God\u2019s grace. I came across that phrase a couple of times, in Peter and in Ephesians. We\u2019re stewards of God\u2019s grace. God\u2019s grace is everywhere, but we get to be the caretakers of it in our little spaces He has given us to occupy. Are we stewarding it?<\/p>\n<p>Are we listening to Him and abiding with Him in that?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Sometimes, we let financial decisions determine our future, and it\u2019s not that we don\u2019t look at the finances and make decisions. That is important, but our calling, and how God has made us, His passions, and the gifts that He\u2019s put in us\u2014those should be looked at. We need to dive into it. I\u2019m super proud of you, Dave.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: For what?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That you didn\u2019t give up in ministry, because God called you to it. [Laughter] It hasn\u2019t always been the best\u2014the easiest\u2014financially.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, and in some ways, it\u2019s what your book is about. As I read through it, Right Where You Belong is this theology of calling, really.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Well, you\u2019re saying \u201ccalling\u201d and \u201ccalling to ministry.\u201d It was my friend, Kat Armstrong, who came on the show, and it was super clarifying for me. She said, \u201cAs believers, we\u2019re all given the same calling: to go and make disciples. Our assignments are where we do that over the course of our lifetime.<\/p>\n<p>That felt like, \u201cOh! Then I can have two assignments at the same time!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is important.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Yes! I can have the assignment of discipling my boys at home, and I can have the assignment of making disciples through my podcast, and I can have the assignment in that cubicle, and in that office; and I can have that assignment at the grocery store. Making a disciple, we overcomplicate. It\u2019s not necessarily a doing; it\u2019s a being. How are you, as you go into the world? That\u2019s an assignment. To me, that just released the burden that I have to find my great big calling;\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014yes\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Heather: \u2014one big thing. To find the humility of being okay with what you have been assigned; that is the goal.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So many people just heard that: \u201cThe assignment? There\u2019s an assignment? How do I know what my assignment is?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Yes, and I think that it comes down to looking at what limitations you\u2019ve been given, which are good.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What do you mean by that? The limitations\u2014why are we talking about limitations?<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Limitations can feel\u2014you know, we don\u2019t want them; but they\u2019re also so freeing because, if you [say], \u201cOkay, these are my limits. How do I live within them well? How do I do what I\u2019ve been given well, empowered by Christ through the Holy Spirit, instead of always wishing to be over\u2014?\u201d You know, \u201cthe grass is always greener\u201d is what we always say. But I think that those limits are good! We do it with our kids!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Heather: We say, \u201cYou can play in this yard, but if you go in the street, that\u2019s not going to be so great.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s good!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes. I think, you know, as you talk about Kat\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Heather: \u2014yes\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014who said, \u201cWe all have the call, if we\u2019re a follower of Christ, to make disciples.\u201d I can remember\u2014Ann wasn\u2019t there, but I went to my first-ever Christian retreat. I didn\u2019t come to Christ until my Junior year in college. And the guy who led me to Christ said, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to go to this Christmas Conference with Campus Crusade for Christ in Chicago during Christmas break.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The last session was\u2014I\u2019m talking\u20142,000 kids in a ballroom in Chicago!<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Bill Bright, the President of Cru speaks! I didn\u2019t know who he was. I\u2019ll never forget. He gets on the stage and says, \u201cTonight, I\u2019m going to share the greatest words ever spoken by the greatest man who ever lived at the greatest moment of His life.\u201d Now, we all probably, right now, know what He\u2019s going to say. I\u2019m sitting there like, \u201cWho\u2019s this? What\u2014?\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Heather: \u2014\u201cWho\u2019s this great man!?\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I was that new.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I didn\u2019t know that it was Jesus, and it was Matthew 28, the Great Commission. Anyway, I\u2019m trying to keep this short. He says, at the end, \u201cIf you\u2019re willing, tonight\u201d\u2014it was New Year\u2019s Eve, by the way\u2014\u201cto say to God, \u2018I\u2019ll go and do anything You want me to do, I want you to stand\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m literally in the back row because that\u2019s where I was; brand new! And I was thinking to myself, \u201cI wonder if anybody will stand?\u201d The whole room basically stood.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Wow!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It was this powerful moment, and I was sitting there, and this was my thinking: \u201cThere\u2019s no way! You\u2019ve got to be kidding me! \u2018Go anywhere, do anything? I\u2019ll end up a missionary in some God-forsaken country\u2019.\u201d So, I sat. And all I knew was, I thought the calling of God always means\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Heather: \u2014\"it\u2019s miserable out there.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014you\u2019re going somewhere.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It was months later when I got on my knees in my bedroom. It was [about] four months later when I said, \u201cOkay, God. I didn\u2019t stand in a ballroom months ago, but I\u2019m in. Wherever You want me to go, I\u2019ll go. I\u2019ll do whatever You want me to do.\u201d When I talk about it now, I always think of this: it\u2019s almost like God looked down at me and said, \u201cAre you serious? Because you won\u2019t believe what I\u2019ve got for you! We are going to go change the world!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Again, I thought it was this calling that was going to send me somewhere. Your book is exactly right: Right Where You Are is where God wants to use you.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I didn\u2019t understand that. It\u2019s like God looks at you and me (and us) and says, \u201cWhat are you passionate about? What are the gifts? What\u2019s in your hand?\u201d I used to always say, \u201cWhat\u2019s in your hand, and what\u2019s in your heart? You like athletics! Let\u2019s go do athletic ministry.\u201d So, we ended up 30 years in the NFL, ministering to pro-athletes right where we [were]. Is that the whole idea?<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Yes; I just want to encourage believers particularly\u2014obviously, this was written for believers\u2014to settle in and walk with God; abide with Him where they are, because\u2014<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve heard the tapestry illustration, but all of the threads\u2014threads are really big right not on the interwebs, but the threads\u2014matter! We are limited in our view of time, of God\u2019s bigger purposes, of His plans. We think we know, but if we really could, in faith, believe we serve a God who is so big and so good and [who] has something beyond our imagination planned. It may mean we walk through trials. It\u2019s not a Pollyanna existence when you say \u201cyes\u201d to God and walk with Him.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: The disciples showed that through their martyrdom; but it is the purpose we\u2019re seeking. That\u2019s the, \u201cWhy am I here?\u201d That\u2019s the bigger picture if you\u2019re trying to find\u201d \u201cDoes this matter, what I\u2019m doing? Does it matter who I am?\u201d These experiences, like you were saying with athletics\u2014if we could weave them all together and say, \u201cWow! God has put me here uniquely with my unique DNA and my unique giftings, in this time on the history timeline, with these tools that my grandparents didn\u2019t have.\u201d We were just saying\u2014even learning guitar\u2014the tools that our kids have to learn and to reach\u2014it\u2019s like, \u201cWow!\u201d That\u2019s humbling.<\/p>\n<p>There was a Tweet I saw from a You Version [Bible app] devotional writer. He said, \u201cThe expanded Hebrew definition of humility is to fully occupy your God-given space.\u201d That felt so freeing to me, because \u201cOkay, then my next goal is: \u2018What\u2019s my God-given space?\u2019\u201d Drawing up those boundary lines and those limits; figuring out, \u201cAm I filling it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This concept of the subtitle, [which] says \u201cGod-Given Space,\u201d led me to the God-given space of Israel, and how He had a chosen people. He said, \u201cI\u2019m going to give you this place to occupy.\u201d In the boring chapter in Joshua, where He lays out all their boundaries, He says, \u201cYou\u2019re going to go here; you\u2019re going to go here.\u201d And a couple of them said, \u201cNah!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Each tribe, you\u2019re talking about?<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Each tribe of Israel.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: And two of the tribes said, \u201cNo; I think we\u2019ll stay over here. We\u2019d rather not go into this nice place.\u201d I realized He has given me those limits or those boundaries and drawn them up for me in a unique way. I\u2019m pushing against them.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s like when you do a Twelve-Step program, you know? One of the first steps is, \u201cI\u2019m a limited human being.\u201d You talk about your limits. So, what I kind of came to were four [limits]. One is time, one is place, one is your wiring, like we were just talking about, and [one is] your experiences. When I would sit down on a decision of, \u201cIs that for me? Is that not for me?\u201d and I would bring it before God, I would, in my journal, write out, \u201cWhat is unique in this decision about the time boundary? What is unique about the place? What\u2019s unique about my specific wiring in this, and my experiences?\u201d And \u201cAm I filling the space?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I have that dialogue with God. That\u2019s what I want to encourage people with: this is not a formula; it\u2019s a framework to move on your derek (your journey) with God. The Hebrew word for journey is derek. It\u2019s like He\u2019s constantly talking in the Bible about journeying with Him. \u201cThe way,\u201d \u201cI\u2019ll show you the way,\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s not the way; this is the way.\u201d I feel like we each have our unique way, but in order to know which way to go, it\u2019s walking hand-in-hand with Him and inviting Him into these bigger and smaller decisions for our families and for us, personally.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: How do you balance that with family? I\u2019m sitting over here, and I think a lot of us men think calling, God\u2019s design, and what He wants me to do (I often think) are outside the home; vocation.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: But, obviously, it\u2019s in the home that\u2019s a big part for men and women. I\u2019m sitting here with two moms, and you guys are diving right into that; but I think, often, as a husband and a dad, my eyes are out there, when my real calling is right here. I\u2019ve got disciples in my home that are more important than any disciple I try to impact \u201cout there,\u201d whether it\u2019s in a workplace, in a church setting, or whatever. How do you relate that balance?<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Well, I almost see it as \u201cyour family on mission to go and make disciples.\u201d Then you, as a couple, are deciding, \u201cWhat are our family values, and where are the assignments we, as a family, are being given? Is it the soccer sidelines? Is it that public school, that private school? Is it homeschool?\u201d These are big decisions we, as families, make on where our family is going to get plugged in.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: I think we don\u2019t often consult with God. We might look around at what other people are doing or what we think we should do based, sometimes, out of fear. Out of fear, we\u2019re like, \u201cWell, we\u2019d better sign him up for 18-month-old soccer, because they\u2019re never going to go to college if we don\u2019t!\u201d [Laughter] And it\u2019s like, \u201cWell, is 18-month-old soccer right for our family? Is that matching with our goals?\u201d It might! It might be a great way to meet other families that you want to disciple and be in community with. You just have to look at your family goals.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what I love! It\u2019s so \u201cbendy.\u201d It\u2019s a great framework to bend with your family as you decide what God\u2019s leading your family into, instead of\u2014some moms will ask me: \u201cIs it okay? Is it okay if we--?\u201d They\u2019re asking me!<\/p>\n<p>Dave and Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: \u201cHave you talked to God about it?!\u201d [Laughter] You know, just because it doesn\u2019t fit this formula!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What would you say when the person says, \u201cI ask God, and I don\u2019t hear anything.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cI don\u2019t know what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Heather: My tips for bringing questions to God and listening to Him are: \u201cTry it.\u201d We are not quiet enough. So, in a time of prayer or whatever for you helps you be one with the Spirit\u2014maybe you haven\u2019t fed the flame of the Spirit of your life; you haven\u2019t been reading God\u2019s Word; you haven\u2019t been spending time with Him; you haven\u2019t been confessing or giving gratitude. Your relationship with God is\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014everything.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: It\u2019s everything! If you\u2019re not\u2014it would be like if you ignored Dave for seven months, and then you just walked in and wanted to hear what he had to say. He may be a little\u2014[Laughter] It may feel like he\u2019s silent, because y\u2019all haven\u2019t connected.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cI have forgotten how to hear his voice.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Heather: You forgot, yes. The sheep know His voice. Well, there is something to that.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: God is speaking; God is listening at all times. It\u2019s our reception of it that is often stilted.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And if you\u2019ve been away, He\u2019s not saying, \u201cShame on you!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Heather: No!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: He says, \u201cI\u2019m so happy you\u2019re here! I can\u2019t wait to be with you!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Totally! He is\u2014I almost picture, sometimes, [that] He\u2019s been sitting in my office, hanging out. [Laughter] I\u2019m running in and out, answering a text here\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: ---\u201cI\u2019m right here.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Heather: \u2014reading my emails. He\u2019s chillin\u2019.<\/p>\n<p>I think making sure that you\u2019re investing in that relationship; then, when you sit with those questions, what comes to mind? I think if you\u2019ve been in God\u2019s Word, and you\u2019ve been in community, \u201cWhat comes to mind?\u201d You\u2019ll be able to filter out: \u201cDoes that sound like God? Does that sound like His Word? Is it condemning? Then it\u2019s probably not.\u201d You can discern truth from a lie. It might surprise you what comes to your mind. That has happened to me more than once!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Me, too.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: I will ask God something, and what comes to my mind [makes me say], \u201cReally!?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Or \u201cI\u2019ve never thought of that!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Or \u201cThat makes a lot of sense!\u201d So, those are my tips: check your relationship with God; try it; listen; see what you hear.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Now, how does it work when Bruce, your husband\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Heather: \u2014yes\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014hears something different or thinks something different?<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Well, I think sometimes, too, there has to be\u2014I don\u2019t know; not all of us are in the same spiritual place as our spouse is, right?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: So, when it\u2019s the combined decision, I\u2019ve had that happen. I say, \u201cHave you even asked God?\u201d Because I know where he is spiritually; and he has to admit that he hasn\u2019t. Then, it\u2019s so interesting how, when I\u2019m feeling led another way, circumstances change and opportunities go away that I wasn\u2019t feeling led for us to do, and he was. Then, it just goes away. Can I even trust God, when I\u2019m not aligned with my husband, because my husband\u2019s not seeking God, with the bigger story of my life?<\/p>\n<p>I was thinking about our family camp [that] we\u2019ve gone to for ten years. We\u2019ve gone every summer. It\u2019s a treasured time! But my husband really felt like it was the end; my bigger boys felt like it was the end; that we shouldn\u2019t go back this summer. I was bawling my eyes out. I did not feel the same way! And I did not take the question to God at all. I didn\u2019t draw up these lines. This is the week that I would be there.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right now?<\/p>\n<p>Heather: And I\u2019m here with you.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Wow.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: You can\u2019t be in two places. You can\u2019t be in Tyler.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: No.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: But here\u2019s the bigger story: my oldest son\u2014I always cry; remember I cry!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yay!<\/p>\n<p>Heather: He is in Poland right now. He\u2019s serving Ukrainian refugees, leading worship,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014wow\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Heather: \u2014teaching English, and teaching the Bible. My second son is in Bulgaria with his grandparents. [Laughter] He just led a kids\u2019 camp. He is currently\u2014right now!\u2014in Thessalonica, Greece, visiting where Paul\u2014<\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t know a year ago when we made the choice that this would be where they could be.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: I would have forced them to be in Tyler, Texas, and miserable (not that Tyler, Texas is miserable); I would have tried to keep that memory alive\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014yes\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Heather: \u2014and strangled the joy out of it! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Instead of releasing and realizing there are places God wanted my boys to occupy that were new; to allow that. I didn\u2019t know! I mean, these trips just all came together in the last two weeks.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: What makes you cry thinking about your boys over there?<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Stop it! [Laughter] Teen years are hard!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: They\u2019re really hard. It just reminds me that God is big, and He has so many good things for them beyond Dallas, beyond the drama of high school and its challenges. It\u2019s a reminder to me that God sees and He knows when we are at our weakest point.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: I mean, I felt like Moses with Pharoah, when he just kept going and asking to let the people go. It just got worse\u2014another plague, and another plague. That\u2019s how I felt with parenting teens. And then, you read, \u201cAnd God hardened Pharoah\u2019s heart.\u201d I read that, and I thought, \u201cWhat in the world!?\u201d You know, we\u2019ve all read that part and thought, \u201cWhy would God make it harder?\u201d Then, it hit me! When they were set free, it was so clear that God was the one who did it.<\/p>\n<p>I have been hitting my head against the parenting wall, asking and asking. It feels like it\u2019s getting harder, but it\u2019s so I don\u2019t get any glory. The Don\u2019t Mom Alone podcast host is not getting any glory in this story! God is going to have to at this point.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes; and I think, as parents, too\u2014I do this: when I\u2019m fearful of where my kids are, I tend to become more controlling.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Oh, 100 P[ercent]! 100 P!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So, sometimes, I don\u2019t want to go to Jesus.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: No.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I want to control the situation because I think I know what\u2019s best.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: But every time we go before Him, He hears us; He hears our prayers. I know that He loves us, and, as you said, He knows your kids better, and the situation better, than you do.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We can trust Him with them.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: What would you say to the mom or dad who\u2019s in those hard teenage years that you\u2019re crying about right now?<\/p>\n<p>Heather: Well, it was actually a mom who\u2019s younger in years than me (I love mentors who are younger in years!) [Laughter]; she\u2019s a stepmom to two kids in our school. I told her what was going on, and she actually brought up the Pharoah and Moses story, and I didn\u2019t tell her what I was thinking. She said, \u201cIt\u2019s like the first time Moses went to Pharoah, and he thought that would be it.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: She said, \u201cHe was just in the Prologue!\u201d [Laughter] So, I think it\u2019s holding on to perspective. I interviewed Sissy Goff, and she was talking about how fear needs context. I think the context of teen years is a really fertile ground of fear growth. I think it\u2019s holding on, talking to people who have been on the other side, to gain that perspective. This is a moment in their story. Reading lots of biographies of men and women who were really hard teens and God used [them] in miraculously great ways for His kingdom work. Again, because their testimonies prove that God is a big God.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Heather: He does big things! So, hold on\u2014hold on\u2014to hope. I think their relationship with God\u2014you, the mom, or you, the dad\u2014your relationship with God is where you need to lean in when that fear starts rising.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: When fear rises up, personally lean into your relationship with God. I love that! Don\u2019t panic. Don\u2019t run away. Take all of it to the Lord because He can handle it. Such an important thing to remember.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Heather MacFadyen on FamilyLife Today. Happy Thanksgiving! If you\u2019re listening right now to FamilyLife Today in your car, or if you\u2019re driving some place, or if you\u2019re with your family, or if you\u2019re around a bowl of mashed potatoes, or the coffee table, playing a board game, I just want to say \u201cthank you\u201d so much! I am personally so thankful for you, our listener, who makes this show possible, who sends us so much encouragement and love. I want to send the encouragement and love right back to you. Happy Thanksgiving today!<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve been listening to Heather MacFadyen, and she has written a book that I\u2019m certainly thankful for. It\u2019s called Right Where You Belong: How to Identify and Fully Occupy Your God-Given Space. Wow, what a title! This book really advises women to embrace their God-given talents, set boundaries, and then find fulfillment amidst the conflicting messages of productivity and rest in today\u2019s culture. It can be rather confusing, and Heather really helps with that. If you\u2019re interested in that book, you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com in the show notes and get your copy there.<\/p>\n<p>A lot of Christians ask, \u201cWhat is my calling? How can it change, and maybe look different, over time from the way I originally thought?\u201d Well, Heather MacFadyen is going to be back tomorrow with Dave and Ann Wilson to talk about just that. We hope you\u2019ll join us.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2023 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/280390","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=280390"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280866"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=280390"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=280390"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=280390"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=280390"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=280390"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=280390"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}