{"id":280380,"date":"2023-12-07T10:15:00","date_gmt":"2023-12-07T15:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/praying-men-who-struggle-john-yates\/"},"modified":"2025-04-16T17:02:00","modified_gmt":"2025-04-16T21:02:00","slug":"praying-men-who-struggle-john-yates","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/praying-men-who-struggle-john-yates\/","title":{"rendered":"Praying: Men Who Struggle: John Yates"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Many men struggle with praying. John Yates discusses why men struggle, steps to help, and how it can affect their whole lives.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Many men struggle with praying. John Yates discusses why men struggle, steps to help, and how it can affect their whole lives. Show Notes and Resources You can find John&#8217;s book on our shop: How a Man Prays for His Family Receive 52 Weeks in The Word by gi&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280866,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/752eaa22-0dd4-42b4-8c2e-b154011cf8ce\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:08","filesize":"23.05M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2023-12-07 10:15:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[],"tags":[2211],"podcast_series":[8710],"cwp_profile":[3280],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-280380","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-remove-term-how-a-man-prays-for-his-family-how-a-man-prays-for-his-family","podcast_series-how-a-man-prays-for-his-family-john-yates","cwp_profile-john-yates","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/04\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/280380\/praying-men-who-struggle-john-yates","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/280380\/praying-men-who-struggle-john-yates","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"if4GbU1S7W\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/praying-men-who-struggle-john-yates\/\">Praying: Men Who Struggle: John Yates<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/praying-men-who-struggle-john-yates\/embed\/#?secret=if4GbU1S7W\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Praying: Men Who Struggle: John Yates&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"if4GbU1S7W\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["MS-012895"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/752eaa22-0dd4-42b4-8c2e-b154011cf8ce\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:25:08"],"filesize":["23.05M"],"_thumbnail_id":["280866"],"show_notes":["<ul>\n<li>You can find John's book on our shop: <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/how-a-man-prays-for-his-family\/\">How a Man Prays for His Family<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/december-2023\/the-gift-of-together\/?cru_source=24EGPCandcru_medium=podcastandcru_campaign=December2023\">Receive 52 Weeks in The Word by giving a donation.<\/a> and your donation will be matched<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2023-12-07.pdf"],"transcript_content":["<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Praying: Men Who Struggle<\/p>\n<p>Guest:John Yates<\/p>\n<p>From the series:How a Man Prays for His Family (Day 1 of 2)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:December 7, 2023<\/p>\n<p>David: Hey there! David Robbins here, President of FamilyLife\u00ae. Have you ever noticed that some of your favorite memories as a married couple are when you struggle together? Maybe it was in the early years, or maybe in the empty nest, or maybe it\u2019s in the phase Meg and I are in, right in the thick of teenagers and all the challenges that come, and it seems like there\u2019s hardly any time to process it.<\/p>\n<p>You, likely, have endured some really tough times. Meg and I agree that some of our best times have occurred when we are sitting in the middle of a crucible, when the flames are rising, and the heat is turning up, and we just wanted to get out. Yet, oddly enough, God shapes us in those moments and [they] are the memories we cherish the most. Here\u2019s the thing: in those tough days, God was faithful, and we love Him for it! And make no mistake: He is faithful to you, even when the heat feels unbearable.<\/p>\n<p>You know, for countless people around the world, FamilyLife Today has become a trusted ally in their effort to establish a God-fearing home. I pray and hope that is your home included. As we approach the end of another year together, I am asking you to empower us to continue with boldness in the new year, reaching and engaging more homes with the timeless truth of God\u2019s Word for marriages and families.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ve heard us talking about the exiting matching challenge. Now is the time to leverage your year-end gift. This incredible matching challenge means that your donation, no matter the size, will be automatically doubled! And every gift counts. And here\u2019s the best part: God will use your gift to speak into the life of someone who is simmering in the crucible right now, and they want to crawl out. Together, let\u2019s help families rise up with redemption stories to tell. Thanks for responding today at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So, we\u2019ve shared here before, Dave, that you developed this great habit, years ago, that\u2019s still a part of your life. You take every single Friday, for the last 35 years, and you fast and pray for our family. Talk about that a little bit: how did that become your passion?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I actually heard it on a radio broadcast when I was\u2014right before we were going to have our first son, CJ, who\u2019s 35. This man was talking about a day of fasting and praying for his family. I thought, \u201cI\u2019m going to do that.\u201d I actually thought I\u2019d do it for a few years; and now, 35 years later, there hasn\u2019t been a week that\u2014I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever missed a week. Sometimes, it\u2019s not Friday. Usually it\u2019s Friday, but sometimes, maybe, a different day. It\u2019s just, \u201cDon\u2019t eat.\u201d And all day long, every time there\u2019s a hunger pang, I\u2019m praying.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I can remember, when they were little boys, praying for their wife, whom [we] didn\u2019t know yet, and praying that she would be a woman of God and making decisions about her life. Anyway, all I know is that\u2014when I married all three sons, as their father, and as their pastor in our chapel\u2014looking at that bride on her wedding day, knowing that I\u2019ve been praying for her, was a tender moment, just like, \u201cLook at what God has done.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So, now, it\u2019s for our grandkids.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And I think, too, as people talk to us, they\u2019ll say, \u201cOh, it\u2019s so cool what God has done!\u201d And we know that we\u2019ve made so many mistakes; we know that we have failed miserably; but we also know that there is power in prayer.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, and it\u2019s fun today, because we have a friend in the studio with us. John Yates, welcome to FamilyLife Today. We\u2019re really glad that you are here.<\/p>\n<p>John: It\u2019s great to be with you, Dave and Ann. It\u2019s been too long. Thanks for letting me be with you.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It has been too long.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: John, you\u2019ve spent a large part of your life helping men, especially\u2014and I know women as well, but helping men\u2014embrace and understand this discipline of prayer, right?<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes, that\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I don\u2019t know how many years ago you wrote a book called How a Man Prays for His Family. You probably know. How many years ago was it?<\/p>\n<p>John: It was a few years ago. [Laughter] But you know, over the years, I wanted to be with men. I\u2019m a pastor. I\u2019ve just retired; I\u2019ve been a pastor for 50 years. But I wanted to be with men. It was great to be with the women and the children, but every Sunday, I\u2019d be preaching away, and I\u2019d think, \u201cI have so much I\u2019d like to say if it was just men here, but I\u2019ve just got to be careful.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, finally, some men were talking one day, and they said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t some of us men just get together, and let\u2019s talk about life and faith?\u201d So, that started something that went on for many years. One year, they said, \u201cTeach us about prayer.\u201d So, for the whole year, I just reviewed, thought, and tried to think through why prayer was so important in my life and shared it with the men. That\u2019s how this book came into being; that\u2019s the basis of it, teaching those men that year.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Of course, many people know this\u2014and some don\u2019t\u2014that you were the pastor of Falls Church Anglican in\u2014<\/p>\n<p>John: \u2014Falls Church, Virginia.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And you founded this church.<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You were there a few years, right? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>John: I was there 40 years.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Forty years.<\/p>\n<p>John: They were exciting years; great [years]. And it was great to step aside now, following some new pathways.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You\u2019ve got nothing going on in your life now, right? You have a couple of grandkids. How many?<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes, we\u2019ve got a bunch of grandkids. I married a wonderful woman 52 years ago\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014Susan Yates. I bet a lot of our listeners\u2014<\/p>\n<p>John: \u2014Susan Yates. She\u2019s written a lot of books that a lot of women have read.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: We had five children; they got married. They turned out to be pretty fertile, because we\u2019ve got 21 grandchildren now. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>One of the great things is just being able to spend a little more time with them, being able to spend time with some of the young pastors that we\u2019ve discipled over the years, and having more time to pray. Honestly, I don\u2019t just say that because we\u2019re talking about it, but life has slowed down just enough to give me a little more time to devote more time to prayer.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Talk about men and prayer. I mean, often, when you think about prayer, you think, \u201cWomen pray; men don\u2019t seem to pray.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Is that true?<\/p>\n<p>John: Pretty much. I think, in a lot of cases, it just seems that women have a more highly attuned spiritual nature than men, or men, somehow, turn it off when they\u2019re young. But over the years, I\u2019ve found many men want to grow close to God. They want to know how to communicate with God, but they have a lot of mistaken ideas about what a prayer life is about. They don\u2019t realize that prayer is just keeping company with God! It\u2019s walking along with Him, and turning to Him throughout the day, and trying to listen to Him. It\u2019s learning how to have a relationship with Him that is normal, and natural, and honest.<\/p>\n<p>Many men think that\u2014well, they wonder. \u201cIs prayer real? How do I know that God is listening to me?\u201d It\u2019s a little difficult because prayer is not the most objective thing in the world. Prayer is pretty subjective, and you never really know exactly what\u2019s happening when you\u2019re praying. But you know, whether you\u2019re a man or a woman, if you can just get honest with God, and share with Him what\u2019s on your heart, and try to be real with Him, then He\u2019s real with you.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: John, it\u2019s apparent that you\u2019ve been spending time with God. So, when we\u2019re with you\u2014and even for our listeners, I wish they could pull up; and that\u2019s what they\u2019re basically doing today\u2014they\u2019re pulling up beside us, and we\u2019re going to review this book that you wrote years ago, but now you\u2019re passionate about. Why now? Why has this reignited your heart?<\/p>\n<p>I was laughing about what you said about why you brought it back out.<\/p>\n<p>John: Oh, yes. [Laughter] I was telling Ann before we started that Susan came to me, not too long ago, and she said, \u201cYou need to do a re-edition of your book on prayer.\u201d I said, \u201cWhy? [Laughter] There\u2019s lots of good books out there on prayer.\u201d She said, \u201cBut yours is really good.\u201d I told Ann I pulled it off the shelf\u2014the old one\u2014and I read it, and thought, \u201cWell, it is pretty good. Maybe we should do this! [Laughter] It\u2019s better than I remembered!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>But I\u2019m glad Susan and I have been able to be friends with you all. We have, in turn, always looked up to you. It\u2019s really helpful, isn\u2019t it, if you have a couple of folks along the way, who are older, who are a little bit further along in life? I think that\u2019s one reason why I have, for so long, wanted to pray, wanted to be a man of prayer; because I had some models when I was younger. I\u2019ve never known a man who had a significant walk with God, or [who] was living a significant life of service to God, who wasn\u2019t a man of prayer. When I was a young man in my 20s, I met three or four men like this, and I thought, \u201cI want to be like them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Tell us about them.<\/p>\n<p>John: When we were young marrieds, we lived in Pittsburgh and had one of these big old Pittsburgh houses. Right across the street from us was a couple who were in their 70s. They had retired; they came out of retirement and came to Pittsburgh to be with a bunch of us. They started a new seminary for our little Anglican movement.<\/p>\n<p>As I would look out the window, early in the morning, across the way at Alf and Marjorie\u2019s house, there was a little room up in the top of the house that was Alf\u2019s study. Every morning, when I got up and went back to my little study on the back corner of our house, the light was always on in Alf\u2019s room. It might be dark outside, but the light was always on. I knew what he was doing. That old man was on his knees, praying. I knew that, because I used to meet with him every Friday afternoon. We\u2019d have a cup of tea and cookies, sitting in the garden, and he told me stories about how God had answered prayers\u201440 years in Africa. One story after another, after another, after another. I thought, \u201cI just want to be like you.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, are you that man now? I mean, as you think about\u2014we respect you and Susan. One of the things I respect, obviously, is you are finishing well. I mean, I\u2019ve seen so many of my colleagues (and I know you have as well) that started well, maybe even ran well in the middle, but not so well at the end. You\u2019re finishing\u2014you\u2019re not done, but we\u2019re both sort of on the last quarter.<\/p>\n<p>John: It was a sobering thought, a year or so ago, when I was thinking about my mentor Alf. I thought, \u201cGee, now I\u2019m older than he was then.\u201d [Laughter] That really shook me up.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: I don\u2019t think anybody can guarantee that he\u2019s going to finish well. You just don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right.<\/p>\n<p>John: But you pray that you will, and you try to maintain relationships with friends who will tell you if they think you\u2019re veering off.<\/p>\n<p>One of the things we did, as we were getting ready to retire, was we asked five or six other couples, who are all in their 60s and 70s, if they\u2019d like to begin meeting together: \u201cHow can we encourage each other to stay effective in our lives for God as long as we live?\u201d We call it the Oaks Group, because we want to be oaks of righteousness, you know?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Like the trees.<\/p>\n<p>John: Anyway, I don\u2019t know how I\u2019m doing to tell you the truth, but I\u2019m very grateful for this time in life, when I am able to be with grandchildren more, able to be with our daughter churches more, able to be with family, and able to study; able to pray more.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think every woman listening is hoping and wishing that their husband will listen to this; because I think, as women, we long for our husbands to be passionate about this area, but there are barriers. What do you feel like the barriers are for men?<\/p>\n<p>John: I think men are\u2014they don\u2019t often feel equipped. When a man opens his mouth to pray aloud, he\u2019s stepping into a vulnerable place. He\u2019s afraid he\u2019s going to be judged, or he\u2019s going to say something stupid. He doesn\u2019t mind talking about sports, [Laughter] but if he has to say something about God, or to pray, God forbid, that\u2019s a really risky thing.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: You know, the only people they hear pray are the pastors on Sunday, and the pastors pray these long great prayers that they\u2019ve written out in advance: \u201cI can\u2019t do that.\u201d I think, mainly, they just don\u2019t feel capable; maybe they don\u2019t feel worthy; maybe they feel like, \u201cWho am I to try to lead my family in prayer?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>They don\u2019t quite realize how much the wife\u2014she doesn\u2019t care if he stumbles, she doesn\u2019t care if he doesn\u2019t really know what he\u2019s doing. All she wants is to hear him say, \u201cYou know, honey, life\u2019s kind of challenging these days, and raising this family is not all that easy. I\u2019m realizing more and more that we need God\u2019s help. I don\u2019t know; we haven\u2019t done this much, but I\u2019m thinking maybe we should pray together as a couple sometimes. It couldn\u2019t hurt, could it? But I don\u2019t quite know how to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: I don\u2019t know a woman in the world who would say, \u201cOh, that\u2019s a bad idea.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I have to tell you that, in our book, we talk about that, too. In Vertical Marriage, we talk about: \u201cThis could be one of the greatest gifts that you give your wife but [also] to your marriage and your family.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I got this text from this friend. She said, \u201cMy husband said to me, \u2018Let\u2019s pray together\u2019.\u201d She said, \u201cWe got on our knees,\u201d and she said, \u201cI couldn\u2019t stop crying.\u201d She said, \u201cIt was just simple. We just\u2014it was a few sentences, but it was the most intimate act that we could have had together; this praying together.\u201d She said, \u201cIt filled me up for a year.\u201d My husband was like, \u2018Why are you crying?\u2019\u201d She said, \u201cBecause this has meant so much to me. I feel so connected and bonded to you and to God with us doing that together.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But I think you\u2019re right. Dave, have you felt that? Dave: I was just going to ask\u2014you\u2019re the only woman in the room. [Laughter] \u201cWhat is it a wife feels? Why is it so intimate to a woman?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think going together before the Father\u2014I think, spiritually, we can feel alone or isolated from one another, and when we join our hearts spiritually together, it\u2019s a mysterious thing that we\u2019re doing and a vulnerability that connects our souls together. I mean, like physical intimacy connects our bodies together, but spiritual intimacy through prayer connects our soul. It\u2019s one of the most beautiful but vulnerable things. As a woman, it makes me feel like I\u2019m not in it alone. \u201cYou\u2019re my partner. We\u2019re battling together for our children, for our family, for the world, for the church.<\/p>\n<p>John: It\u2019s a unifier, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes! That\u2019s what it is.<\/p>\n<p>John: Every time\u2014every time\u2014you and Dave pray together\u2014every time\u2014it\u2019s like it adds another little layer of bonding between the two of you. This probably was your experience, too; somebody told us before we were married, \u201cYou should pray together every night with each other.\u201d On our honeymoon, before we went to bed for the first time, we got down on our knees and prayed.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We did, too.<\/p>\n<p>John: And Susan said the next day\u2014she said, \u201cYou know, I really liked that. I think we should do that every night.\u201d Boy, you talk about something [Laughter] that forces you to stay together. If you promise God, you\u2019re going to pray together with your wife every night before you go to bed, there\u2019s some nights when that\u2019s the last thing in the world you want to do!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Isn\u2019t it hard?<\/p>\n<p>John: It\u2019s the last thing you feel like doing.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>John: But it requires that you come back together, and you understand each other as best you can, and you reaffirm your love for one another and your love for God.<\/p>\n<p>But there\u2019ve been many nights when, you know, you talk, and you still don\u2019t have things really worked out; you\u2019re still upset with each other; but if you can then just say, \u201cWell, we\u2019re still upset, but we need to go to sleep, so let\u2019s pray.\u201d And \u201cYou know, Lord, You know what\u2019s going on here. You know what a mess we are. You know that we need Your help. We\u2019re sorry, Lord. We ask Your help to guide us through this time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think, if we could see the spiritual dimension, I imagine the enemy Satan is trembling when we\u2019re praying together, because there\u2019s so much power in that. I think it\u2019s easy to just stay divided in the midst of our conflict and not come together. I feel like the enemy could think, \u201cI\u2019m winning.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: There\u2019s something powerful! But I want to get back to some of those barriers.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I\u2019ve had this thought\u2014Ann and I\u2019ve talked about this\u2014as a man, and I\u2019m sure women have this same thought, there are times when I\u2019m like, \u201cOkay, does prayer really do anything? Because here I am, talking to God, and there\u2019s a billion people talking to God right now.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes, sure.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You go into the intellectual thing like, \u201cHow does this work? Can He really be intimately involved in my life, here in Orlando?\u201d So, that\u2019s the kind of thing you go through. Talk about that. I know men struggle with that.<\/p>\n<p>John: No kidding, exactly. I don\u2019t know if women struggle with it or not, but I know we do. I have. I\u2019ll tell you what I do when I start doubting like that and questioning: I just always think back to Jesus Christ and what I know to be true about Him. In the New Testament, we have what was written by the apostles, and they\u2019re telling us what they believe to be true about Christ. They were with Him! They had no reason to lie, and we know that what we have today is what they wrote.<\/p>\n<p>I remember, one, that He prayed almost incessantly; and secondly, He taught the men and women around him to pray. He talked about this over and over again. He said, \u201cMen ought always to be praying.\u201d I think about that, and then I think back over the years to when I\u2019ve seen prayers answered. You know, if you just pray general, \u201cLord, bless the world,\u201d kind of prayers, you\u2019re not going to really see God answer prayers; but if you learn to pray specifically\u2014<\/p>\n<p>God may not always say, \u201cYes,\u201d but many times, He does. I think back to those times\u2014the unexpected or unusual ways in which we have seen God work in answer to prayer. You know, because you\u2019ve read the book, that I\u2019ve often written down specific things that I\u2019ve prayed for. As you were talking about your son\u2019s wedding, thinking about how God had answered prayers for your children, when I pull out one of these old prayer notebooks, and I begin to look at things\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014oh, John\u2019s pulling out his notebook. It has pictures in it. Are these prayer requests and prayers to God?<\/p>\n<p>John: This is a little prayer notebook that I kept like in the mid-\u201880s, I think. It\u2019s full of photos, and it\u2019s full of things I\u2019ve prayed. I was looking at it a little earlier, at some of the things that I was praying for my children, back when they were in elementary school or high school. When you realize how faithful God has been over the years, then it encourages you to keep believing, right?<\/p>\n<p>But Dave, I don\u2019t know if that little element of doubt ever goes away. There was a pastor in England, who lived in the 1700s, named William Grimshaw. He was an amazing man; a close friend of John Wesley and George Whitfield, and he had wonderful impact up in the Yorkshire Hills. He said, \u201cEvery once in a while, Mr. Doubt would walk into the room.\u201d He would have to rebuke Mr. Doubt, and run him out of the room, or else he couldn\u2019t pray. And it still happens, I think.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: I love that he shared the little prayer notebook from when his kids were little. That just makes me so happy, to see how God\u2019s faithfulness lasts from generation to generation. The proof was right there in that prayer journal. It is so cool to hear stories like that.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. You\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with John Yates on FamilyLife Today. John has written a book called How a Man Prays for His Family. This book is more than a placebo to make you feel better about your prayer life. John is going to show you, through his words, some tools to develop a powerful, consistent prayer life. You can pick up a copy of John\u2019s book, How a Man Prays for His Family. Just head over to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on \u201cToday\u2019s Resources.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You know, every now and then, Dave and Ann get these unexpected run-ins with real people on the street. Ann\u2019s going to share one of those stories right now.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Last week, I talked to this beautiful 35-year-old mom, with two little kids, married. She came up to me, crying, and she said, \u201cI just have to thank you for FamilyLife Today. I listen to it every single day, and I feel like I can\u2019t get through a day without it. And you\u2019ve brought me life and hope.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You\u2019re getting teary, talking about her.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Because it means so much. [Emotion in voice] We\u2019re behind the microphones; but to hear how we are meeting the needs of people, that gets me excited.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, and we get emotional because we\u2019ve been there.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I mean, you\u2019ve got little kids running around the house.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You\u2019re exhausted; you\u2019re screaming back and forth with your husband. I mean, the stress is on young families; we know.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And maybe you are at a point where you\u2019re shaking your head, thinking, \u201cI remember those days.\u201d And now, you are in a different phase, and you have margin, and you can take a breath. Wouldn\u2019t it be a great Christmas present to give back to this ministry that\u2019s giving life to these young families?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, we want to encourage you and invite you, \u201cJoin us! Become a partner; a financial partner.\u201d I know you pray for us, but we get to speak life and practical help every single day into families like that. Your gift will make this possible. You can literally change a family\u2019s life by making a gift today. Here\u2019s the good news: [as] we\u2019re moving toward year-end, your gift is doubled. Think of that.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s amazing.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That is amazing, because there are people who say, \u201cWe want this so badly, we will match any gift given.\u201d You can be a partner with us today. You can change somebody\u2019s life.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I\u2019m just going to say, \u201cWe need you. We need you to impact families with us.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Yes! So, you can go online right now to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the \u201cDonate Now\u201d button at the top of the page; or you can give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329. Again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d If you want to, you can feel free to drop us something in the mail if you\u2019d like to. We love hearing from you all that way. Our address is FamilyLife,<\/p>\n<p>100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, FL 32832.<\/p>\n<p>Now, it takes a lot of intentionality and discipline, but becoming aware of your family\u2019s needs can help you be intentional about praying for them. John Yates is going to be back tomorrow with Dave and Ann Wilson to talk about just that. We hope you\u2019ll join us.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife; a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs? Copyright \u00a9 2023 FamilyLife. 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});\";s:18:\"current_block_list\";a:17:{i:0;s:14:\"uagb\/container\";i:1;s:12:\"core\/heading\";i:2;s:9:\"core\/html\";i:3;s:10:\"core\/group\";i:6;s:21:\"uagb\/advanced-heading\";i:7;s:14:\"uagb\/separator\";i:8;s:14:\"uagb\/icon-list\";i:9;s:20:\"uagb\/icon-list-child\";i:10;s:11:\"core\/search\";i:13;s:18:\"core\/legacy-widget\";i:16;s:10:\"uagb\/image\";i:17;s:17:\"core\/social-links\";i:18;s:16:\"core\/social-link\";i:19;s:14:\"core\/paragraph\";i:20;s:30:\"meta-box\/fl-conditional-blocks\";i:21;s:12:\"uagb\/buttons\";i:22;s:18:\"uagb\/buttons-child\";}s:8:\"uag_flag\";b:1;s:11:\"uag_version\";i:1776432323;s:6:\"gfonts\";a:1:{s:7:\"Default\";a:2:{s:10:\"fontfamily\";s:7:\"Default\";s:12:\"fontvariants\";a:0:{}}}s:10:\"gfonts_url\";s:71:\"\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\/css?family=Default&subset=latin&display=fallback\";s:12:\"gfonts_files\";a:0:{}s:14:\"uag_faq_layout\";b:0;}"]},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/04\/image-scaled.jpg",1024,1024,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Margaret","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coylefamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Many men struggle with praying. John Yates discusses why men struggle, steps to help, and how it can affect their whole lives. Show Notes and Resources You can find John's book on our shop: How a Man Prays for His Family Receive 52 Weeks in The Word by gi...","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<ul>\n<li>You can find John's book on our shop: <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/how-a-man-prays-for-his-family\/\">How a Man Prays for His Family<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/december-2023\/the-gift-of-together\/?cru_source=24EGPCandcru_medium=podcastandcru_campaign=December2023\">Receive 52 Weeks in The Word by giving a donation.<\/a> and your donation will be matched<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2023-12-07.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Praying: Men Who Struggle<\/p>\n<p>Guest:John Yates<\/p>\n<p>From the series:How a Man Prays for His Family (Day 1 of 2)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:December 7, 2023<\/p>\n<p>David: Hey there! David Robbins here, President of FamilyLife\u00ae. Have you ever noticed that some of your favorite memories as a married couple are when you struggle together? Maybe it was in the early years, or maybe in the empty nest, or maybe it\u2019s in the phase Meg and I are in, right in the thick of teenagers and all the challenges that come, and it seems like there\u2019s hardly any time to process it.<\/p>\n<p>You, likely, have endured some really tough times. Meg and I agree that some of our best times have occurred when we are sitting in the middle of a crucible, when the flames are rising, and the heat is turning up, and we just wanted to get out. Yet, oddly enough, God shapes us in those moments and [they] are the memories we cherish the most. Here\u2019s the thing: in those tough days, God was faithful, and we love Him for it! And make no mistake: He is faithful to you, even when the heat feels unbearable.<\/p>\n<p>You know, for countless people around the world, FamilyLife Today has become a trusted ally in their effort to establish a God-fearing home. I pray and hope that is your home included. As we approach the end of another year together, I am asking you to empower us to continue with boldness in the new year, reaching and engaging more homes with the timeless truth of God\u2019s Word for marriages and families.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ve heard us talking about the exiting matching challenge. Now is the time to leverage your year-end gift. This incredible matching challenge means that your donation, no matter the size, will be automatically doubled! And every gift counts. And here\u2019s the best part: God will use your gift to speak into the life of someone who is simmering in the crucible right now, and they want to crawl out. Together, let\u2019s help families rise up with redemption stories to tell. Thanks for responding today at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So, we\u2019ve shared here before, Dave, that you developed this great habit, years ago, that\u2019s still a part of your life. You take every single Friday, for the last 35 years, and you fast and pray for our family. Talk about that a little bit: how did that become your passion?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I actually heard it on a radio broadcast when I was\u2014right before we were going to have our first son, CJ, who\u2019s 35. This man was talking about a day of fasting and praying for his family. I thought, \u201cI\u2019m going to do that.\u201d I actually thought I\u2019d do it for a few years; and now, 35 years later, there hasn\u2019t been a week that\u2014I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever missed a week. Sometimes, it\u2019s not Friday. Usually it\u2019s Friday, but sometimes, maybe, a different day. It\u2019s just, \u201cDon\u2019t eat.\u201d And all day long, every time there\u2019s a hunger pang, I\u2019m praying.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I can remember, when they were little boys, praying for their wife, whom [we] didn\u2019t know yet, and praying that she would be a woman of God and making decisions about her life. Anyway, all I know is that\u2014when I married all three sons, as their father, and as their pastor in our chapel\u2014looking at that bride on her wedding day, knowing that I\u2019ve been praying for her, was a tender moment, just like, \u201cLook at what God has done.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: So, now, it\u2019s for our grandkids.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And I think, too, as people talk to us, they\u2019ll say, \u201cOh, it\u2019s so cool what God has done!\u201d And we know that we\u2019ve made so many mistakes; we know that we have failed miserably; but we also know that there is power in prayer.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, and it\u2019s fun today, because we have a friend in the studio with us. John Yates, welcome to FamilyLife Today. We\u2019re really glad that you are here.<\/p>\n<p>John: It\u2019s great to be with you, Dave and Ann. It\u2019s been too long. Thanks for letting me be with you.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It has been too long.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: John, you\u2019ve spent a large part of your life helping men, especially\u2014and I know women as well, but helping men\u2014embrace and understand this discipline of prayer, right?<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes, that\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I don\u2019t know how many years ago you wrote a book called How a Man Prays for His Family. You probably know. How many years ago was it?<\/p>\n<p>John: It was a few years ago. [Laughter] But you know, over the years, I wanted to be with men. I\u2019m a pastor. I\u2019ve just retired; I\u2019ve been a pastor for 50 years. But I wanted to be with men. It was great to be with the women and the children, but every Sunday, I\u2019d be preaching away, and I\u2019d think, \u201cI have so much I\u2019d like to say if it was just men here, but I\u2019ve just got to be careful.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, finally, some men were talking one day, and they said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t some of us men just get together, and let\u2019s talk about life and faith?\u201d So, that started something that went on for many years. One year, they said, \u201cTeach us about prayer.\u201d So, for the whole year, I just reviewed, thought, and tried to think through why prayer was so important in my life and shared it with the men. That\u2019s how this book came into being; that\u2019s the basis of it, teaching those men that year.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Of course, many people know this\u2014and some don\u2019t\u2014that you were the pastor of Falls Church Anglican in\u2014<\/p>\n<p>John: \u2014Falls Church, Virginia.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And you founded this church.<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You were there a few years, right? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>John: I was there 40 years.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Forty years.<\/p>\n<p>John: They were exciting years; great [years]. And it was great to step aside now, following some new pathways.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You\u2019ve got nothing going on in your life now, right? You have a couple of grandkids. How many?<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes, we\u2019ve got a bunch of grandkids. I married a wonderful woman 52 years ago\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014Susan Yates. I bet a lot of our listeners\u2014<\/p>\n<p>John: \u2014Susan Yates. She\u2019s written a lot of books that a lot of women have read.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: We had five children; they got married. They turned out to be pretty fertile, because we\u2019ve got 21 grandchildren now. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>One of the great things is just being able to spend a little more time with them, being able to spend time with some of the young pastors that we\u2019ve discipled over the years, and having more time to pray. Honestly, I don\u2019t just say that because we\u2019re talking about it, but life has slowed down just enough to give me a little more time to devote more time to prayer.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Talk about men and prayer. I mean, often, when you think about prayer, you think, \u201cWomen pray; men don\u2019t seem to pray.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Is that true?<\/p>\n<p>John: Pretty much. I think, in a lot of cases, it just seems that women have a more highly attuned spiritual nature than men, or men, somehow, turn it off when they\u2019re young. But over the years, I\u2019ve found many men want to grow close to God. They want to know how to communicate with God, but they have a lot of mistaken ideas about what a prayer life is about. They don\u2019t realize that prayer is just keeping company with God! It\u2019s walking along with Him, and turning to Him throughout the day, and trying to listen to Him. It\u2019s learning how to have a relationship with Him that is normal, and natural, and honest.<\/p>\n<p>Many men think that\u2014well, they wonder. \u201cIs prayer real? How do I know that God is listening to me?\u201d It\u2019s a little difficult because prayer is not the most objective thing in the world. Prayer is pretty subjective, and you never really know exactly what\u2019s happening when you\u2019re praying. But you know, whether you\u2019re a man or a woman, if you can just get honest with God, and share with Him what\u2019s on your heart, and try to be real with Him, then He\u2019s real with you.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: John, it\u2019s apparent that you\u2019ve been spending time with God. So, when we\u2019re with you\u2014and even for our listeners, I wish they could pull up; and that\u2019s what they\u2019re basically doing today\u2014they\u2019re pulling up beside us, and we\u2019re going to review this book that you wrote years ago, but now you\u2019re passionate about. Why now? Why has this reignited your heart?<\/p>\n<p>I was laughing about what you said about why you brought it back out.<\/p>\n<p>John: Oh, yes. [Laughter] I was telling Ann before we started that Susan came to me, not too long ago, and she said, \u201cYou need to do a re-edition of your book on prayer.\u201d I said, \u201cWhy? [Laughter] There\u2019s lots of good books out there on prayer.\u201d She said, \u201cBut yours is really good.\u201d I told Ann I pulled it off the shelf\u2014the old one\u2014and I read it, and thought, \u201cWell, it is pretty good. Maybe we should do this! [Laughter] It\u2019s better than I remembered!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>But I\u2019m glad Susan and I have been able to be friends with you all. We have, in turn, always looked up to you. It\u2019s really helpful, isn\u2019t it, if you have a couple of folks along the way, who are older, who are a little bit further along in life? I think that\u2019s one reason why I have, for so long, wanted to pray, wanted to be a man of prayer; because I had some models when I was younger. I\u2019ve never known a man who had a significant walk with God, or [who] was living a significant life of service to God, who wasn\u2019t a man of prayer. When I was a young man in my 20s, I met three or four men like this, and I thought, \u201cI want to be like them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Tell us about them.<\/p>\n<p>John: When we were young marrieds, we lived in Pittsburgh and had one of these big old Pittsburgh houses. Right across the street from us was a couple who were in their 70s. They had retired; they came out of retirement and came to Pittsburgh to be with a bunch of us. They started a new seminary for our little Anglican movement.<\/p>\n<p>As I would look out the window, early in the morning, across the way at Alf and Marjorie\u2019s house, there was a little room up in the top of the house that was Alf\u2019s study. Every morning, when I got up and went back to my little study on the back corner of our house, the light was always on in Alf\u2019s room. It might be dark outside, but the light was always on. I knew what he was doing. That old man was on his knees, praying. I knew that, because I used to meet with him every Friday afternoon. We\u2019d have a cup of tea and cookies, sitting in the garden, and he told me stories about how God had answered prayers\u201440 years in Africa. One story after another, after another, after another. I thought, \u201cI just want to be like you.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, are you that man now? I mean, as you think about\u2014we respect you and Susan. One of the things I respect, obviously, is you are finishing well. I mean, I\u2019ve seen so many of my colleagues (and I know you have as well) that started well, maybe even ran well in the middle, but not so well at the end. You\u2019re finishing\u2014you\u2019re not done, but we\u2019re both sort of on the last quarter.<\/p>\n<p>John: It was a sobering thought, a year or so ago, when I was thinking about my mentor Alf. I thought, \u201cGee, now I\u2019m older than he was then.\u201d [Laughter] That really shook me up.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: I don\u2019t think anybody can guarantee that he\u2019s going to finish well. You just don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right.<\/p>\n<p>John: But you pray that you will, and you try to maintain relationships with friends who will tell you if they think you\u2019re veering off.<\/p>\n<p>One of the things we did, as we were getting ready to retire, was we asked five or six other couples, who are all in their 60s and 70s, if they\u2019d like to begin meeting together: \u201cHow can we encourage each other to stay effective in our lives for God as long as we live?\u201d We call it the Oaks Group, because we want to be oaks of righteousness, you know?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Like the trees.<\/p>\n<p>John: Anyway, I don\u2019t know how I\u2019m doing to tell you the truth, but I\u2019m very grateful for this time in life, when I am able to be with grandchildren more, able to be with our daughter churches more, able to be with family, and able to study; able to pray more.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think every woman listening is hoping and wishing that their husband will listen to this; because I think, as women, we long for our husbands to be passionate about this area, but there are barriers. What do you feel like the barriers are for men?<\/p>\n<p>John: I think men are\u2014they don\u2019t often feel equipped. When a man opens his mouth to pray aloud, he\u2019s stepping into a vulnerable place. He\u2019s afraid he\u2019s going to be judged, or he\u2019s going to say something stupid. He doesn\u2019t mind talking about sports, [Laughter] but if he has to say something about God, or to pray, God forbid, that\u2019s a really risky thing.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: You know, the only people they hear pray are the pastors on Sunday, and the pastors pray these long great prayers that they\u2019ve written out in advance: \u201cI can\u2019t do that.\u201d I think, mainly, they just don\u2019t feel capable; maybe they don\u2019t feel worthy; maybe they feel like, \u201cWho am I to try to lead my family in prayer?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>They don\u2019t quite realize how much the wife\u2014she doesn\u2019t care if he stumbles, she doesn\u2019t care if he doesn\u2019t really know what he\u2019s doing. All she wants is to hear him say, \u201cYou know, honey, life\u2019s kind of challenging these days, and raising this family is not all that easy. I\u2019m realizing more and more that we need God\u2019s help. I don\u2019t know; we haven\u2019t done this much, but I\u2019m thinking maybe we should pray together as a couple sometimes. It couldn\u2019t hurt, could it? But I don\u2019t quite know how to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: I don\u2019t know a woman in the world who would say, \u201cOh, that\u2019s a bad idea.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I have to tell you that, in our book, we talk about that, too. In Vertical Marriage, we talk about: \u201cThis could be one of the greatest gifts that you give your wife but [also] to your marriage and your family.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I got this text from this friend. She said, \u201cMy husband said to me, \u2018Let\u2019s pray together\u2019.\u201d She said, \u201cWe got on our knees,\u201d and she said, \u201cI couldn\u2019t stop crying.\u201d She said, \u201cIt was just simple. We just\u2014it was a few sentences, but it was the most intimate act that we could have had together; this praying together.\u201d She said, \u201cIt filled me up for a year.\u201d My husband was like, \u2018Why are you crying?\u2019\u201d She said, \u201cBecause this has meant so much to me. I feel so connected and bonded to you and to God with us doing that together.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But I think you\u2019re right. Dave, have you felt that? Dave: I was just going to ask\u2014you\u2019re the only woman in the room. [Laughter] \u201cWhat is it a wife feels? Why is it so intimate to a woman?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think going together before the Father\u2014I think, spiritually, we can feel alone or isolated from one another, and when we join our hearts spiritually together, it\u2019s a mysterious thing that we\u2019re doing and a vulnerability that connects our souls together. I mean, like physical intimacy connects our bodies together, but spiritual intimacy through prayer connects our soul. It\u2019s one of the most beautiful but vulnerable things. As a woman, it makes me feel like I\u2019m not in it alone. \u201cYou\u2019re my partner. We\u2019re battling together for our children, for our family, for the world, for the church.<\/p>\n<p>John: It\u2019s a unifier, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes! That\u2019s what it is.<\/p>\n<p>John: Every time\u2014every time\u2014you and Dave pray together\u2014every time\u2014it\u2019s like it adds another little layer of bonding between the two of you. This probably was your experience, too; somebody told us before we were married, \u201cYou should pray together every night with each other.\u201d On our honeymoon, before we went to bed for the first time, we got down on our knees and prayed.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We did, too.<\/p>\n<p>John: And Susan said the next day\u2014she said, \u201cYou know, I really liked that. I think we should do that every night.\u201d Boy, you talk about something [Laughter] that forces you to stay together. If you promise God, you\u2019re going to pray together with your wife every night before you go to bed, there\u2019s some nights when that\u2019s the last thing in the world you want to do!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Isn\u2019t it hard?<\/p>\n<p>John: It\u2019s the last thing you feel like doing.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>John: But it requires that you come back together, and you understand each other as best you can, and you reaffirm your love for one another and your love for God.<\/p>\n<p>But there\u2019ve been many nights when, you know, you talk, and you still don\u2019t have things really worked out; you\u2019re still upset with each other; but if you can then just say, \u201cWell, we\u2019re still upset, but we need to go to sleep, so let\u2019s pray.\u201d And \u201cYou know, Lord, You know what\u2019s going on here. You know what a mess we are. You know that we need Your help. We\u2019re sorry, Lord. We ask Your help to guide us through this time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think, if we could see the spiritual dimension, I imagine the enemy Satan is trembling when we\u2019re praying together, because there\u2019s so much power in that. I think it\u2019s easy to just stay divided in the midst of our conflict and not come together. I feel like the enemy could think, \u201cI\u2019m winning.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: There\u2019s something powerful! But I want to get back to some of those barriers.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I\u2019ve had this thought\u2014Ann and I\u2019ve talked about this\u2014as a man, and I\u2019m sure women have this same thought, there are times when I\u2019m like, \u201cOkay, does prayer really do anything? Because here I am, talking to God, and there\u2019s a billion people talking to God right now.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes, sure.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You go into the intellectual thing like, \u201cHow does this work? Can He really be intimately involved in my life, here in Orlando?\u201d So, that\u2019s the kind of thing you go through. Talk about that. I know men struggle with that.<\/p>\n<p>John: No kidding, exactly. I don\u2019t know if women struggle with it or not, but I know we do. I have. I\u2019ll tell you what I do when I start doubting like that and questioning: I just always think back to Jesus Christ and what I know to be true about Him. In the New Testament, we have what was written by the apostles, and they\u2019re telling us what they believe to be true about Christ. They were with Him! They had no reason to lie, and we know that what we have today is what they wrote.<\/p>\n<p>I remember, one, that He prayed almost incessantly; and secondly, He taught the men and women around him to pray. He talked about this over and over again. He said, \u201cMen ought always to be praying.\u201d I think about that, and then I think back over the years to when I\u2019ve seen prayers answered. You know, if you just pray general, \u201cLord, bless the world,\u201d kind of prayers, you\u2019re not going to really see God answer prayers; but if you learn to pray specifically\u2014<\/p>\n<p>God may not always say, \u201cYes,\u201d but many times, He does. I think back to those times\u2014the unexpected or unusual ways in which we have seen God work in answer to prayer. You know, because you\u2019ve read the book, that I\u2019ve often written down specific things that I\u2019ve prayed for. As you were talking about your son\u2019s wedding, thinking about how God had answered prayers for your children, when I pull out one of these old prayer notebooks, and I begin to look at things\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014oh, John\u2019s pulling out his notebook. It has pictures in it. Are these prayer requests and prayers to God?<\/p>\n<p>John: This is a little prayer notebook that I kept like in the mid-\u201880s, I think. It\u2019s full of photos, and it\u2019s full of things I\u2019ve prayed. I was looking at it a little earlier, at some of the things that I was praying for my children, back when they were in elementary school or high school. When you realize how faithful God has been over the years, then it encourages you to keep believing, right?<\/p>\n<p>But Dave, I don\u2019t know if that little element of doubt ever goes away. There was a pastor in England, who lived in the 1700s, named William Grimshaw. He was an amazing man; a close friend of John Wesley and George Whitfield, and he had wonderful impact up in the Yorkshire Hills. He said, \u201cEvery once in a while, Mr. Doubt would walk into the room.\u201d He would have to rebuke Mr. Doubt, and run him out of the room, or else he couldn\u2019t pray. And it still happens, I think.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: I love that he shared the little prayer notebook from when his kids were little. That just makes me so happy, to see how God\u2019s faithfulness lasts from generation to generation. The proof was right there in that prayer journal. It is so cool to hear stories like that.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. You\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with John Yates on FamilyLife Today. John has written a book called How a Man Prays for His Family. This book is more than a placebo to make you feel better about your prayer life. John is going to show you, through his words, some tools to develop a powerful, consistent prayer life. You can pick up a copy of John\u2019s book, How a Man Prays for His Family. Just head over to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on \u201cToday\u2019s Resources.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You know, every now and then, Dave and Ann get these unexpected run-ins with real people on the street. Ann\u2019s going to share one of those stories right now.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Last week, I talked to this beautiful 35-year-old mom, with two little kids, married. She came up to me, crying, and she said, \u201cI just have to thank you for FamilyLife Today. I listen to it every single day, and I feel like I can\u2019t get through a day without it. And you\u2019ve brought me life and hope.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You\u2019re getting teary, talking about her.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Because it means so much. [Emotion in voice] We\u2019re behind the microphones; but to hear how we are meeting the needs of people, that gets me excited.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, and we get emotional because we\u2019ve been there.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I mean, you\u2019ve got little kids running around the house.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: You\u2019re exhausted; you\u2019re screaming back and forth with your husband. I mean, the stress is on young families; we know.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And maybe you are at a point where you\u2019re shaking your head, thinking, \u201cI remember those days.\u201d And now, you are in a different phase, and you have margin, and you can take a breath. Wouldn\u2019t it be a great Christmas present to give back to this ministry that\u2019s giving life to these young families?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, we want to encourage you and invite you, \u201cJoin us! Become a partner; a financial partner.\u201d I know you pray for us, but we get to speak life and practical help every single day into families like that. Your gift will make this possible. You can literally change a family\u2019s life by making a gift today. Here\u2019s the good news: [as] we\u2019re moving toward year-end, your gift is doubled. Think of that.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s amazing.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That is amazing, because there are people who say, \u201cWe want this so badly, we will match any gift given.\u201d You can be a partner with us today. You can change somebody\u2019s life.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I\u2019m just going to say, \u201cWe need you. We need you to impact families with us.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Yes! So, you can go online right now to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the \u201cDonate Now\u201d button at the top of the page; or you can give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329. Again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d If you want to, you can feel free to drop us something in the mail if you\u2019d like to. We love hearing from you all that way. Our address is FamilyLife,<\/p>\n<p>100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, FL 32832.<\/p>\n<p>Now, it takes a lot of intentionality and discipline, but becoming aware of your family\u2019s needs can help you be intentional about praying for them. John Yates is going to be back tomorrow with Dave and Ann Wilson to talk about just that. We hope you\u2019ll join us.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife; a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs? Copyright \u00a9 2023 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife.com<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/280380","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=280380"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280866"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=280380"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=280380"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=280380"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=280380"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=280380"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=280380"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}