{"id":280379,"date":"2023-12-08T10:15:00","date_gmt":"2023-12-08T15:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/praying-men-a-gift-to-families-john-yates\/"},"modified":"2025-04-16T16:59:53","modified_gmt":"2025-04-16T20:59:53","slug":"praying-men-a-gift-to-families-john-yates","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/praying-men-a-gift-to-families-john-yates\/","title":{"rendered":"Praying Men: A Gift To Families: John Yates"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Men want to do things they feel they can do well. On FamilyLife Today, retired pastor and long-time speaker for FamilyLife, John Yates, breaks down the simple nature of prayer and how a man&#8217;s prayer life blesses his family.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Men want to do things they feel they can do well. On FamilyLife Today, retired pastor and long-time speaker for FamilyLife, John Yates, breaks down the simple nature of prayer and how a man&#8217;s prayer life blesses his family. Show Notes and Resources You ca&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280866,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/deb56449-dbc7-418e-af16-b154011cf4f3\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:46","filesize":"23.63M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2023-12-08 10:15:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[],"tags":[2210],"podcast_series":[8710],"cwp_profile":[3280],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-280379","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-prayer","podcast_series-how-a-man-prays-for-his-family-john-yates","cwp_profile-john-yates","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/04\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/280379\/praying-men-a-gift-to-families-john-yates","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/280379\/praying-men-a-gift-to-families-john-yates","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Zh7yBVuCx4\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/praying-men-a-gift-to-families-john-yates\/\">Praying Men: A Gift To Families: John Yates<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/praying-men-a-gift-to-families-john-yates\/embed\/#?secret=Zh7yBVuCx4\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Praying Men: A Gift To Families: John Yates&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Zh7yBVuCx4\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["MS-012896"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/deb56449-dbc7-418e-af16-b154011cf4f3\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:25:46"],"filesize":["23.63M"],"_thumbnail_id":["280866"],"show_notes":["<ul>\n<li>You can find John's book on our shop: <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/how-a-man-prays-for-his-family\/\">How a Man Prays for His Family<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/december-2023\/the-gift-of-together\/?cru_source=24EGPCandcru_medium=podcastandcru_campaign=December2023\">Receive 52 Weeks in The Word by giving a donation.<\/a> and your donation will be matched<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2023-12-08.pdf"],"transcript_content":["<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Praying Men: A Gift to Families<\/p>\n<p>Guest:John Yates<\/p>\n<p>From the series:How a Man Prays for His Family (Day 2 of 2)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:December 8, 2023<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I don\u2019t know about you, but I am glad I\u2019m not parenting kids today. [Laughter] I mean, we have kids, but they are not younger.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I have said that many times; it\u2019s scary. We thought it was scary 40 years ago. I think it is ten times harder today. We have a generation walking away from their faith. We raised them in the church; we raised them to believe. And then, they hit teenage years and beyond, and they walk away in numbers. You talk about scary! Parents are petrified right now. \u201cHow do we help our kids?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Are you feeling this as I am today? The urgency to get biblical principles and help to our families? Because this is what we are about. We have faithful givers who gave.<\/p>\n<p>40 years ago, because [they] thought, \u201cThis is so important.\u201d Well, it\u2019s even more important now.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I\u2019ve got to tell you: we cannot lose this battle.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Every day we get to speak life and the Word of God. Actually, we get to bring Jesus to your family and bring hope to give you practical tools to help your kids and our kids be strong adults for Jesus. That doesn\u2019t happen without you joining us in prayer and joining us as a financial partner.<\/p>\n<p>I know everybody is asking for money at this time of year. We are saying, \u201cHelp us not lose this battle. Let\u2019s win!\u201d And help us keep bringing life and the Word of God to your family so that you can win, and your family can win. Join us today. Your dollar will be doubled. This is a battle we will not lose, and you can help us win it. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com right now and make a gift.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Join us in this battle. It matters.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I know this about myself and men\u2014and I can\u2019t speak for women, so Ann, you\u2019ll have to do this\u2014but I know for me and every guy I know: we hate to do things we\u2019re not good at.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Oh, yes! I think that\u2019s true for women, too, but is it especially true, you think, for men?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Oh, I think\u2014I mean, two or three weeks ago, I played the worst round of golf. I got in the car and said, \u201cI\u2019m done! I\u2019m never playing this stupid game again! Why do I keep trying to do this, 30 years in? I just quit! I just quit!\u201d I literally threw the clubs into the back of the car, and I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019m just going to burn these things! Why do this again?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Ten days later, I\u2019m out again. My front nine, I shot par. I\u2019ve never\u2014I mean, I shot par. I had the best round of my life. Of course, I didn\u2019t shoot par on the back nine, but I had the best round.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It gave you hope!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: There I was again! But I thought, as men\u2014and I\u2019m sure women are the same way\u2014it\u2019s like we don\u2019t like doing things we\u2019re not good at, so we just sort of quit, or we give up, or we move onto something else.<\/p>\n<p>I thought, \u201cOkay, when it comes to prayer, I think a lot of men feel the same way I did about my golf game.\u201d It\u2019s like, \u201cI don\u2019t understand it. I\u2019m not good at it. My wife\u2019s a lot better at it than I am. I\u2019ll just let her be the prayer warrior in our family, and I\u2019ll just sort of not do it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: From what I\u2019ve heard from women (I hear from a lot of women), they struggle because their husbands aren\u2019t necessarily leading in that area. You\u2019ve just given them an answer. This could be one of the reasons why they struggle.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, and I think for a golf game, or for anything else, what do I need to do? I need to get a coach. I need to learn how to hit a ball, which I did; and it helped. I want to train. Prayer is something we haven\u2019t trained much in. We have a guest in the studio today\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014a trainer!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, we\u2019ve got a prayer trainer. I mean, John Yates is with us today. Welcome back, John.<\/p>\n<p>John: It is great to be with you all again today. Thanks.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We\u2019re glad to have you here! I mean, you are one of our mentors; you may not know this, but you and Susan, for years\u2014<\/p>\n<p>You joined the FamilyLife team of speakers, a team of us that do the FamilyLife Weekend to Remember\u00ae all around the country, how long ago?<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And how many years were you on that team?<\/p>\n<p>John: Well, just 20 years.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cJust 20.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cJust 20.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cJust 20!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: It didn\u2019t seem like very long, but they were great years for us. We encourage people to go to the marriage Weekend to Remember. We know how much impact it has on them, but what they don\u2019t realize is how great it is for the speakers! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Exactly!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes! Speaking changed our lives!<\/p>\n<p>John: Speaking changed our marriage, too. Absolutely!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, that was one part of your life\u2014<\/p>\n<p>John: \u2014yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014but for most of your life, you\u2019re a pastor of Falls Church\u2014<\/p>\n<p>John: \u2014right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014in Falls Church, Virginia.<\/p>\n<p>John: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: How many years? 40 years?<\/p>\n<p>John: Forty years.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And then you revised the book you wrote over 20 years ago called\u2014<\/p>\n<p>John: \u2014How a Man Prays for His Family.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, How a Man Prays for His Family. Why did you rewrite it? I know Susan told you to do it, but I mean, do you feel like men today need to learn how to pray just like they did 20 years ago?<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes, I just felt like this might prompt some more men, a little bit later on in life, to rekindle an interest in prayer. I had heard so many stories from people who love this simple little book. It\u2019s just a guide to prayer. That\u2019s all it is! But I\u2019d heard so many people say what it had meant to them. Men study it in small groups, and they talk about it. There weren\u2019t any copies of it around, you know? They were all gone; so, we decided, \u201cWell, let\u2019s redo this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Many of us, as men\u2014I know it\u2019s true for women and wives as well\u2014need a trainer; somebody to help train us. What would you say? It\u2019s the title of your book: \u201cHow does a man pray for his family?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: As a parent, you do everything you can for your kids.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right.<\/p>\n<p>John: But there are a lot of things you can\u2019t do.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: And those are the things that you have to turn to God for and ask Him to help you with. I can\u2019t change my teenage grandson\u2019s attitude about whatever it is. You know, I can talk to him, but I can\u2019t change his attitude; only God can do that.<\/p>\n<p>And so, I think if a man wants to pray for his family, first of all, he needs to know what\u2019s going on in their lives. For instance, I\u2019m praying a lot for grandchildren now. One of my daughters-in-law, whenever one of the children has a birthday, she will write us a letter, and she will say, \u201cHere are the things that you need to know about this girl\u2019s life so that you can pray for her.\u201d She helps me know how to pray, because I\u2019m not in Charlottesville. I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on all the time.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s a sweet gift, and what a good idea.<\/p>\n<p>John: It\u2019s a great thing for a parent to do for a grandparent.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: Another way that you can learn to pray effectively for your family is to set aside some time. I\u2019ll tell you what Susan and I have done.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, give us some homework.<\/p>\n<p>John: Every year, in late August or early September, as kids are going back to school, my wife and I would pull away for an overnight; go to some hotel somewhere or something, spend the night, [and] get some rest. All the next morning, we would spend talking about the children: \u201cHere\u2019s my son, Chris. Okay, he\u2019s\u2014how old is he? Seventeen right now. He\u2019s trying to make a decision about college. Let\u2019s talk about him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Susan would say, \u201cWhat do you think are some of the needs that we need to be aware of in Chris\u2019s life?\u201d We would think [of] physical needs: \u201cWhat\u2019s going on, physically?\u201d You know, \u201cWhat are health problems?\u201d \u201cHow\u2019s he doing in athletics?\u201d and that sort of thing. Physical needs, spiritual needs, emotional needs, intellectual needs; we would just sort of talk through that child.<\/p>\n<p>But anyway, you try to understand what their needs are, and then you try to discipline yourself in some way to bring these family members to God in prayer and ask God to be working in their lives to meet these needs. I mean, it\u2019s pretty simple.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: But it takes some thought; it takes some discipline; and it takes some love, I guess.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Now, let\u2019s talk about [if] it\u2019s different as you think\u2014you have a chapter in your book about \u201cHow a Man Prays for His Wife.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: What\u2019s that look like?<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes, in some ways, it\u2019s a little different, because your relationship with your wife is closer; it\u2019s more intimate. You know, a husband and wife can kind of be inside each other a little bit. You\u2019re more aware of internal struggles, and that helps you to be able to pray, perhaps, more wisely. But if I want to pray for my wife, then I have to bring to God certain things on her behalf.<\/p>\n<p>And so, for instance, I think about: \u201cOkay, what\u2019s her schedule this week? What\u2019s going on in her life? What is she doing?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I like this! You have to know your wife and know what\u2019s going on in her life in order to pray specifically for her. Every wife is like, \u201cYes! I want my husband to ask me these questions.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: Well, you can pray much more helpfully, I think, if you know what she\u2019s doing. It\u2019s not just what\u2019s on her schedule. You ask yourself:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat responsibilities is she carrying? What things does she have to get done that nobody else knows about, but I know about, and I know they\u2019re weighing on her?\u201d \u201cLord, help her with this; help her with that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat about her character? What\u2019s going on in her mind about things? Is she fearful? Is she anxious? Is she doubting? Is she feeling overwhelmed?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You pray about those things.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So, you\u2019re looking at mental, spiritual, physical. You\u2019re looking at all the areas of her life and how you can pray for her. [Emotion in voice] I get teary thinking of someone\u2014and especially you, Dave\u2014praying for me like that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Probably a lot of wives feel that way?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Help us understand. \u201cWhat is it that makes you teary?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It\u2019s that our husbands would know us so well, or even they\u2019re asking those questions, and they care about what\u2019s going on in our hearts; because we all long to be known, we all long to be understood, and we all long to be loved unconditionally. But then, to take all of that and take it before God! That\u2019s one of the most loving, most powerful things a husband could do for his wife.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Of course, you can\u2019t really pray for your wife unless you know her, and you\u2019re talking to her, and you\u2019re hearing those things.<\/p>\n<p>John: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I know, just a couple weeks ago on\u2014I think it was a Monday night\u2014Ann was going to host a women\u2019s night for a new ministry that our son is birthing\u2014that has been a dream of yours [Ann] for\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014literally, a dream from God about a women\u2019s ministry birthing. And this was the first\u2014they\u2019d had meetings\u2014but this was the first public.<\/p>\n<p>I get asked to speak the same night to a men\u2019s group on the other side of town. Ann doesn\u2019t even know this, but I got on my motorcycle to ride across town. The whole time on my bike, I\u2019m praying for Ann\u2019s night, just praying for everything: details, her message, the women being moved, and a movement being started in Michigan that we think could be national for women.<\/p>\n<p>I can see it right now. I\u2019m standing in front of all these men at this men\u2019s event, speaking. And during a pause in my message\u2014I\u2019m praying for Ann\u2014you know, I just throw up a prayer right there. I come home, and all I care about\u2014I couldn\u2019t wait to get home! It\u2019s like, \u201cHow\u2019d it go?!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: And nobody told you [that] you had to do that, or you should do it.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: No, it was an honor!<\/p>\n<p>John: It\u2019s because you\u2019ve been married, what? 40-some years?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: 41 years.<\/p>\n<p>John: You\u2019ve been married all this time; you know her. It\u2019s not that hard to pray for your wife\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014no.<\/p>\n<p>John: \u2014and especially as you\u2019ve logged some years together.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: When you think about it, you know what she\u2019s dealing with.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: For you men, I just want to say, \u201cThat makes us feel seen. It makes us feel cherished, and it makes us feel like you really care about our spiritual walk with God in every part of our walk in life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, it\u2019s interesting, the name of her women\u2019s ministry is Heard.<\/p>\n<p>John: Heard.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Because so many women want to be heard. When a man prays for his wife, I think she feels heard.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: Absolutely, I do.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Why don\u2019t we do it?! Why is it so rare?<\/p>\n<p>John: One, we don\u2019t think about it. Two, we don\u2019t feel adequate. Three, we\u2019re afraid we\u2019ll be embarrassed. Four, maybe our faith is pretty weak. But if we could really understand how much it means to our wives, we probably would attempt it more frequently.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And let me encourage the wives who are listening: if your husband prays for you\u2014even if it\u2019s a short prayer, even if it\u2019s a sentence, even if he\u2019s prayed for dinner\u2014can I just encourage you to encourage him? Just to say, \u201cThank you! That means so much to our family when you initiate that prayer. That means so much to me. Thank you!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t say, \u201cWell, finally!\u201d or \u201cAbout time,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ve been wishing you would.\u201d You know, kind of that voice or that tone.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Or \u201cYou call that a prayer?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes! [Laughter] Encourage whatever step he takes toward prayer. I would just encourage him and pray for him to have that confidence. Be confident in him when he doesn\u2019t have confidence in himself.<\/p>\n<p>John, you\u2019ve brought your prayer notebook. Do you have any prayers in there that you\u2019ve written about Susan? Can we hear one that you prayed for her? Is that very personal?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s getting pretty personal.<\/p>\n<p>John: I don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It\u2019s a prayer journal between him and God.<\/p>\n<p>John: I don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I know. I\u2019m just nosey.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cLet\u2019s share it with the world.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: Here\u2019s a whole list of things I was praying for Susan in fall of 1996.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Oh, let\u2019s hear that.<\/p>\n<p>John: Let\u2019s see, what can I read? For her to be encouraged and peaceful about our family and our marriage.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Ahh!<\/p>\n<p>John: That God would feed and nourish her in her spirit. That God would be preparing her for the time when the children are gone.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Wow!<\/p>\n<p>John: That was not too long before they started leaving.<\/p>\n<p>I prayed for her relationship with a teacher in our high school; this was a really difficult woman. It\u2019s too a long story for me to get into, but I prayed over this relationship for<\/p>\n<p>20 years. Before this woman died, we saw amazing answers to prayer in her life. She was one of those teachers who would mock the kids because of their faith in school. Her whole life changed around\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014because of your prayer!<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes, well, I\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014part of it.<\/p>\n<p>John: \u2014because of my wife\u2019s persistence, probably. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Asking God to guide her in her writing. She was beginning to write some books then. I was asking God to control her imagination, because she has a pretty wild imagination. [Laughter] Sometimes it gets the better of her.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I don\u2019t know if God answered that one, did He?<\/p>\n<p>John: I don\u2019t know if He did.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Probably, her imagination was from Him. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>John: Anyway, just that sort of thing.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: You know, I\u2019d just say to the men: when you\u2019re praying for members of your family, just talk to God. Just say, \u201cGod, here\u2019s my wife. You know her. You know that she\u2019s got this concern about her health\u2014she got this report the other day, and she\u2019s worried about it. Lord, please give her assurance that she\u2019s going to be okay. Help her to feel secure. I can\u2019t seem to pull that off, but You can, God.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I mean, that\u2019s not as good as the Lord\u2019s Prayer, but it\u2019s good enough! [Laughter] I mean, God doesn\u2019t care, you know?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, in some ways, it sounds like we live in the natural world, and we\u2019re asking God to do something supernatural in our natural world. I\u2019m going to do everything I can. I\u2019m going to love her and communicate with her, but like you said earlier, I can\u2019t change her heart.<\/p>\n<p>John: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I can\u2019t change my son or daughter\u2019s heart. \u201cGod, You have to do that, so I\u2019m going to come to You.\u201d Let me ask you this: how often\u2014how many times\u2014do you maybe pray the same prayer?<\/p>\n<p>John: You know, that\u2019s a really good question. Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount\u2014He said: \u201cKnock, and the door will be opened. Seek, and you will find. Ask, and it will be given unto you,\u201d\u2014but the way He said it, in the original, the tense is: \u201cAsk and keep on asking.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: \u201cKnock and keep on knocking.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I used to think it was foolish to ask for the same thing repeatedly, but then I thought about my relationship with my children. When they came to me and asked for something, I wasn\u2019t always all that clear how serious they were; how important it was; what it meant to them. But if they came back, over and over again, and said, \u201cDad, I really need your help with this,\u201d or whatever, it\u2019s a way that they demonstrate to their father how important something is in their life. So, when we bring something to God in prayer, and we bring it back again a few days later, we bring it back again, there\u2019s no shame in that. There\u2019s nothing wrong with that.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes God answers a prayer by saying, \u201cYes, right now.\u201d You know, sometimes He says, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to be kidding! [Laughter] No way!\u201d Sometimes He says, \u201cNot now.\u201d A wise man used to talk about how God works in response to our needs, and he said, \u201cDelay is not denial.\u201d So, God may say in [response to] prayer, \u201cYou keep asking. In My time, I will do what is right. Delay doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019m denying your request.\u201d God doesn\u2019t always answer the way you want Him to, but many times, He does.<\/p>\n<p>I would like to make another point about prayer, though. One of the things I\u2019ve come to appreciate, as I\u2019ve got a little more time now, is prayer is also being still before God; and prayer is trying to listen to God. I know you know this, but now, because I don\u2019t have to hurry in the morning and get off, I have more time just to sit with a cup of coffee, early in the morning, and just sit with God; just be with God. I will eventually get to those lists, you know, but I\u2019ve found that it\u2019s very helpful just to sort of reflect in God\u2019s presence on the day before; think about the conversations; think about what we did; to give God thanks; to sort of go back and reexamine: \u201cHow did I handle that? Oh, I need to do something about that.\u201d Make a little note, you know? \u201cDon\u2019t forget to do this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And I\u2019ve just found great delight in sort of sitting in the presence of God and reflecting on the day before, reflecting on the day ahead; asking His help on the things that are coming, the things that are coming up; and not being in a hurry, so that I\u2019m able to let my mind go in whatever direction it will go. You know, every morning, your mind goes in different directions. But to do that in the presence of God, I\u2019ve found it to be very\u2014just a great blessing.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: You know, I was coming home from visiting my dad in Ohio, driving back home to Michigan, and I had just lost my mom. She was 90 years old; my parents had been married 70 years. I remember\u2014that drive is four hours\u2014for the first hour, I remember just talking to God the whole time, telling Him what I was feeling, crying. [Emotion in voice]<\/p>\n<p>But there was an intimacy of love that I felt about my heavenly Father. I remember saying, \u201cJesus, You\u2019re my best friend!\u201d I felt and feel about Jesus the way I had first felt about Dave when we were dating, like, \u201cI can\u2019t wait to be with You! I can\u2019t wait to talk with You. I can\u2019t wait to hear what You think about this; or to feel Your presence, and Your power, and Your majesty.\u201d In the car, it\u2019s that overwhelming sense of peace that just comforted my soul.<\/p>\n<p>I thought, \u201cOh, Lord! That\u2019s the greatest gift: Your presence!\u201d And I think God longs for that relationship with us that, as Paul said, to \u201cpray without ceasing.\u201d That\u2019s what it looks like. It\u2019s you, just with your best friend.<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And you\u2019re telling Him everything that\u2019s going on in your heart, with your family, with your spouse, with your kids; your worries. I love to think\u2014and I know\u2014that He\u2019s intent upon every word, and emotion, and feeling, because He\u2019s a loving God who cares for us.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I\u2019m thinking, for me\u2014I think a lot of men are probably feeling the same thing\u2014I want to get a prayer journal going. I used to do that. I remember, often, I would write out prayers; and then I\u2019d put an \u201cL\u201d on my little paper and put my pen down.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cL\u201d meant \u201clisten.\u201d Then I\u2019d say, \u201cOkay, God, are You saying anything?\u201d And you know, I always ask, \u201cWhat do You want me to know? What do You want me to do?\u201d But to have that in writing, or you can even do it digitally if you want to do it on your phone or whatever, but to have a copy that, someday\u2014<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m guessing those prayer journals are going to end up in your grandkids\u2019 hands someday, and it\u2019s going to be a legacy\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: \u2014maybe they will; maybe they will.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014of a father [and] a grandfather who prayed for them.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: I have a prayer journal. It\u2019s in my bag right now, next to my Bible. I just don\u2019t write in it the way I should and record the prayers I speak about my life, about my family, about my ministry. Well, I think there\u2019s always room for change though, right? I\u2019m going to start, and I think you should do it with me. Maybe grab a journal\u2014maybe go buy a journal or order one online\u2014and start recording your prayers. I think I\u2019m going to do it.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with John Yates on FamilyLife Today. John\u2019s written a book called How a Man Prays for His Family. This is more than just a placebo to make you feel better. John\u2019s going to show you some tools about how to have a powerful consistent prayer life. To pick up John\u2019s book, you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on \u201cToday\u2019s Resources.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve had some incredible friends come beside us and match every dollar we are gifted during this month, up to $2.5 million. A gift from your home, of any amount, helps keep this ministry going. I\u2019d love it if you\u2019d take the time right now to either give us a call or go online to FamilyLifeToday.com and make your donation. We\u2019re so grateful for those who have already given, and we know that without your generous support, none of this would be possible.<\/p>\n<p>When you do give, in addition to that, we\u2019re going to send you a copy of Trillia Newbell\u2019s book, 52 Weeks in the Word, as our \u201cthank you\u201d for your generosity. You can go online to FamilyLifeToday.com [and] click on the \u201cDonate Now\u201d button at the top of the page, or you can give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329. Again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Or you can feel free to drop us something in the mail if you would like. Our address is FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, FL 32832.<\/p>\n<p>A lot of people ask the question: \u201cWhat are some practical steps to help men raise sons of consequence?\u201d Maybe they don\u2019t word it that way, but they\u2019re thinking that: \u201cHow can I raise my son in a way that\u2019s just different than what the culture tells me and, maybe, what my natural sinful instincts might be.\u201d Well, next week, Jon Tyson is going to be in the studio with Dave and Ann Wilson to talk about \u201cRaising Sons of Consequence.\u201d I hope you\u2019ll join us.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife; a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2023 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife.com<\/p>\n"],"_edit_lock":["1744837210:47000"],"_g_feedback_shortcode_ac3b2a8a74e95ceaec726c5fac0424c82ea41316":["\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Name\" type=\"name\"  required=\"true\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Email\" type=\"email\" required=\"true\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Website\" type=\"url\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Message\" type=\"textarea\" \/]"],"_g_feedback_shortcode_atts_ac3b2a8a74e95ceaec726c5fac0424c82ea41316":["a:17:{s:2:\"to\";s:29:\"margaret.coyle@familylife.com\";s:7:\"subject\";s:73:\"[FamilyLife - A Cru Ministry] Praying Men: A Gift To Families: John Yates\";s:12:\"show_subject\";s:2:\"no\";s:6:\"widget\";i:0;s:14:\"block_template\";N;s:19:\"block_template_part\";N;s:2:\"id\";i:280379;s:18:\"submit_button_text\";s:6:\"Submit\";s:14:\"customThankyou\";s:0:\"\";s:21:\"customThankyouHeading\";s:26:\"Your message has been sent\";s:21:\"customThankyouMessage\";s:30:\"Thank you for your 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want to do things they feel they can do well. On FamilyLife Today, retired pastor and long-time speaker for FamilyLife, John Yates, breaks down the simple nature of prayer and how a man's prayer life blesses his family. Show Notes and Resources You ca...","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<ul>\n<li>You can find John's book on our shop: <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/how-a-man-prays-for-his-family\/\">How a Man Prays for His Family<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/december-2023\/the-gift-of-together\/?cru_source=24EGPCandcru_medium=podcastandcru_campaign=December2023\">Receive 52 Weeks in The Word by giving a donation.<\/a> and your donation will be matched<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2023-12-08.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Praying Men: A Gift to Families<\/p>\n<p>Guest:John Yates<\/p>\n<p>From the series:How a Man Prays for His Family (Day 2 of 2)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:December 8, 2023<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I don\u2019t know about you, but I am glad I\u2019m not parenting kids today. [Laughter] I mean, we have kids, but they are not younger.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I have said that many times; it\u2019s scary. We thought it was scary 40 years ago. I think it is ten times harder today. We have a generation walking away from their faith. We raised them in the church; we raised them to believe. And then, they hit teenage years and beyond, and they walk away in numbers. You talk about scary! Parents are petrified right now. \u201cHow do we help our kids?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Are you feeling this as I am today? The urgency to get biblical principles and help to our families? Because this is what we are about. We have faithful givers who gave.<\/p>\n<p>40 years ago, because [they] thought, \u201cThis is so important.\u201d Well, it\u2019s even more important now.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I\u2019ve got to tell you: we cannot lose this battle.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Every day we get to speak life and the Word of God. Actually, we get to bring Jesus to your family and bring hope to give you practical tools to help your kids and our kids be strong adults for Jesus. That doesn\u2019t happen without you joining us in prayer and joining us as a financial partner.<\/p>\n<p>I know everybody is asking for money at this time of year. We are saying, \u201cHelp us not lose this battle. Let\u2019s win!\u201d And help us keep bringing life and the Word of God to your family so that you can win, and your family can win. Join us today. Your dollar will be doubled. This is a battle we will not lose, and you can help us win it. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com right now and make a gift.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Join us in this battle. It matters.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I know this about myself and men\u2014and I can\u2019t speak for women, so Ann, you\u2019ll have to do this\u2014but I know for me and every guy I know: we hate to do things we\u2019re not good at.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Oh, yes! I think that\u2019s true for women, too, but is it especially true, you think, for men?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Oh, I think\u2014I mean, two or three weeks ago, I played the worst round of golf. I got in the car and said, \u201cI\u2019m done! I\u2019m never playing this stupid game again! Why do I keep trying to do this, 30 years in? I just quit! I just quit!\u201d I literally threw the clubs into the back of the car, and I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019m just going to burn these things! Why do this again?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is FamilyLife Today!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Ten days later, I\u2019m out again. My front nine, I shot par. I\u2019ve never\u2014I mean, I shot par. I had the best round of my life. Of course, I didn\u2019t shoot par on the back nine, but I had the best round.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It gave you hope!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: There I was again! But I thought, as men\u2014and I\u2019m sure women are the same way\u2014it\u2019s like we don\u2019t like doing things we\u2019re not good at, so we just sort of quit, or we give up, or we move onto something else.<\/p>\n<p>I thought, \u201cOkay, when it comes to prayer, I think a lot of men feel the same way I did about my golf game.\u201d It\u2019s like, \u201cI don\u2019t understand it. I\u2019m not good at it. My wife\u2019s a lot better at it than I am. I\u2019ll just let her be the prayer warrior in our family, and I\u2019ll just sort of not do it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: From what I\u2019ve heard from women (I hear from a lot of women), they struggle because their husbands aren\u2019t necessarily leading in that area. You\u2019ve just given them an answer. This could be one of the reasons why they struggle.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, and I think for a golf game, or for anything else, what do I need to do? I need to get a coach. I need to learn how to hit a ball, which I did; and it helped. I want to train. Prayer is something we haven\u2019t trained much in. We have a guest in the studio today\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014a trainer!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, we\u2019ve got a prayer trainer. I mean, John Yates is with us today. Welcome back, John.<\/p>\n<p>John: It is great to be with you all again today. Thanks.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We\u2019re glad to have you here! I mean, you are one of our mentors; you may not know this, but you and Susan, for years\u2014<\/p>\n<p>You joined the FamilyLife team of speakers, a team of us that do the FamilyLife Weekend to Remember\u00ae all around the country, how long ago?<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And how many years were you on that team?<\/p>\n<p>John: Well, just 20 years.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cJust 20.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cJust 20.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cJust 20!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: It didn\u2019t seem like very long, but they were great years for us. We encourage people to go to the marriage Weekend to Remember. We know how much impact it has on them, but what they don\u2019t realize is how great it is for the speakers! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Exactly!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes! Speaking changed our lives!<\/p>\n<p>John: Speaking changed our marriage, too. Absolutely!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, that was one part of your life\u2014<\/p>\n<p>John: \u2014yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014but for most of your life, you\u2019re a pastor of Falls Church\u2014<\/p>\n<p>John: \u2014right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014in Falls Church, Virginia.<\/p>\n<p>John: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: How many years? 40 years?<\/p>\n<p>John: Forty years.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And then you revised the book you wrote over 20 years ago called\u2014<\/p>\n<p>John: \u2014How a Man Prays for His Family.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes, How a Man Prays for His Family. Why did you rewrite it? I know Susan told you to do it, but I mean, do you feel like men today need to learn how to pray just like they did 20 years ago?<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes, I just felt like this might prompt some more men, a little bit later on in life, to rekindle an interest in prayer. I had heard so many stories from people who love this simple little book. It\u2019s just a guide to prayer. That\u2019s all it is! But I\u2019d heard so many people say what it had meant to them. Men study it in small groups, and they talk about it. There weren\u2019t any copies of it around, you know? They were all gone; so, we decided, \u201cWell, let\u2019s redo this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Many of us, as men\u2014I know it\u2019s true for women and wives as well\u2014need a trainer; somebody to help train us. What would you say? It\u2019s the title of your book: \u201cHow does a man pray for his family?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: As a parent, you do everything you can for your kids.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Right.<\/p>\n<p>John: But there are a lot of things you can\u2019t do.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: And those are the things that you have to turn to God for and ask Him to help you with. I can\u2019t change my teenage grandson\u2019s attitude about whatever it is. You know, I can talk to him, but I can\u2019t change his attitude; only God can do that.<\/p>\n<p>And so, I think if a man wants to pray for his family, first of all, he needs to know what\u2019s going on in their lives. For instance, I\u2019m praying a lot for grandchildren now. One of my daughters-in-law, whenever one of the children has a birthday, she will write us a letter, and she will say, \u201cHere are the things that you need to know about this girl\u2019s life so that you can pray for her.\u201d She helps me know how to pray, because I\u2019m not in Charlottesville. I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on all the time.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s a sweet gift, and what a good idea.<\/p>\n<p>John: It\u2019s a great thing for a parent to do for a grandparent.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: Another way that you can learn to pray effectively for your family is to set aside some time. I\u2019ll tell you what Susan and I have done.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, give us some homework.<\/p>\n<p>John: Every year, in late August or early September, as kids are going back to school, my wife and I would pull away for an overnight; go to some hotel somewhere or something, spend the night, [and] get some rest. All the next morning, we would spend talking about the children: \u201cHere\u2019s my son, Chris. Okay, he\u2019s\u2014how old is he? Seventeen right now. He\u2019s trying to make a decision about college. Let\u2019s talk about him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Susan would say, \u201cWhat do you think are some of the needs that we need to be aware of in Chris\u2019s life?\u201d We would think [of] physical needs: \u201cWhat\u2019s going on, physically?\u201d You know, \u201cWhat are health problems?\u201d \u201cHow\u2019s he doing in athletics?\u201d and that sort of thing. Physical needs, spiritual needs, emotional needs, intellectual needs; we would just sort of talk through that child.<\/p>\n<p>But anyway, you try to understand what their needs are, and then you try to discipline yourself in some way to bring these family members to God in prayer and ask God to be working in their lives to meet these needs. I mean, it\u2019s pretty simple.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: But it takes some thought; it takes some discipline; and it takes some love, I guess.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Now, let\u2019s talk about [if] it\u2019s different as you think\u2014you have a chapter in your book about \u201cHow a Man Prays for His Wife.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: What\u2019s that look like?<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes, in some ways, it\u2019s a little different, because your relationship with your wife is closer; it\u2019s more intimate. You know, a husband and wife can kind of be inside each other a little bit. You\u2019re more aware of internal struggles, and that helps you to be able to pray, perhaps, more wisely. But if I want to pray for my wife, then I have to bring to God certain things on her behalf.<\/p>\n<p>And so, for instance, I think about: \u201cOkay, what\u2019s her schedule this week? What\u2019s going on in her life? What is she doing?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I like this! You have to know your wife and know what\u2019s going on in her life in order to pray specifically for her. Every wife is like, \u201cYes! I want my husband to ask me these questions.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: Well, you can pray much more helpfully, I think, if you know what she\u2019s doing. It\u2019s not just what\u2019s on her schedule. You ask yourself:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat responsibilities is she carrying? What things does she have to get done that nobody else knows about, but I know about, and I know they\u2019re weighing on her?\u201d \u201cLord, help her with this; help her with that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat about her character? What\u2019s going on in her mind about things? Is she fearful? Is she anxious? Is she doubting? Is she feeling overwhelmed?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You pray about those things.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So, you\u2019re looking at mental, spiritual, physical. You\u2019re looking at all the areas of her life and how you can pray for her. [Emotion in voice] I get teary thinking of someone\u2014and especially you, Dave\u2014praying for me like that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Probably a lot of wives feel that way?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Help us understand. \u201cWhat is it that makes you teary?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: It\u2019s that our husbands would know us so well, or even they\u2019re asking those questions, and they care about what\u2019s going on in our hearts; because we all long to be known, we all long to be understood, and we all long to be loved unconditionally. But then, to take all of that and take it before God! That\u2019s one of the most loving, most powerful things a husband could do for his wife.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Of course, you can\u2019t really pray for your wife unless you know her, and you\u2019re talking to her, and you\u2019re hearing those things.<\/p>\n<p>John: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I know, just a couple weeks ago on\u2014I think it was a Monday night\u2014Ann was going to host a women\u2019s night for a new ministry that our son is birthing\u2014that has been a dream of yours [Ann] for\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014literally, a dream from God about a women\u2019s ministry birthing. And this was the first\u2014they\u2019d had meetings\u2014but this was the first public.<\/p>\n<p>I get asked to speak the same night to a men\u2019s group on the other side of town. Ann doesn\u2019t even know this, but I got on my motorcycle to ride across town. The whole time on my bike, I\u2019m praying for Ann\u2019s night, just praying for everything: details, her message, the women being moved, and a movement being started in Michigan that we think could be national for women.<\/p>\n<p>I can see it right now. I\u2019m standing in front of all these men at this men\u2019s event, speaking. And during a pause in my message\u2014I\u2019m praying for Ann\u2014you know, I just throw up a prayer right there. I come home, and all I care about\u2014I couldn\u2019t wait to get home! It\u2019s like, \u201cHow\u2019d it go?!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: And nobody told you [that] you had to do that, or you should do it.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: No, it was an honor!<\/p>\n<p>John: It\u2019s because you\u2019ve been married, what? 40-some years?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: 41 years.<\/p>\n<p>John: You\u2019ve been married all this time; you know her. It\u2019s not that hard to pray for your wife\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014no.<\/p>\n<p>John: \u2014and especially as you\u2019ve logged some years together.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: When you think about it, you know what she\u2019s dealing with.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: For you men, I just want to say, \u201cThat makes us feel seen. It makes us feel cherished, and it makes us feel like you really care about our spiritual walk with God in every part of our walk in life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, it\u2019s interesting, the name of her women\u2019s ministry is Heard.<\/p>\n<p>John: Heard.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Because so many women want to be heard. When a man prays for his wife, I think she feels heard.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: Absolutely, I do.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Why don\u2019t we do it?! Why is it so rare?<\/p>\n<p>John: One, we don\u2019t think about it. Two, we don\u2019t feel adequate. Three, we\u2019re afraid we\u2019ll be embarrassed. Four, maybe our faith is pretty weak. But if we could really understand how much it means to our wives, we probably would attempt it more frequently.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And let me encourage the wives who are listening: if your husband prays for you\u2014even if it\u2019s a short prayer, even if it\u2019s a sentence, even if he\u2019s prayed for dinner\u2014can I just encourage you to encourage him? Just to say, \u201cThank you! That means so much to our family when you initiate that prayer. That means so much to me. Thank you!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t say, \u201cWell, finally!\u201d or \u201cAbout time,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ve been wishing you would.\u201d You know, kind of that voice or that tone.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Or \u201cYou call that a prayer?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes! [Laughter] Encourage whatever step he takes toward prayer. I would just encourage him and pray for him to have that confidence. Be confident in him when he doesn\u2019t have confidence in himself.<\/p>\n<p>John, you\u2019ve brought your prayer notebook. Do you have any prayers in there that you\u2019ve written about Susan? Can we hear one that you prayed for her? Is that very personal?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: That\u2019s getting pretty personal.<\/p>\n<p>John: I don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It\u2019s a prayer journal between him and God.<\/p>\n<p>John: I don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I know. I\u2019m just nosey.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cLet\u2019s share it with the world.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>John: Here\u2019s a whole list of things I was praying for Susan in fall of 1996.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Oh, let\u2019s hear that.<\/p>\n<p>John: Let\u2019s see, what can I read? For her to be encouraged and peaceful about our family and our marriage.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Ahh!<\/p>\n<p>John: That God would feed and nourish her in her spirit. That God would be preparing her for the time when the children are gone.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Wow!<\/p>\n<p>John: That was not too long before they started leaving.<\/p>\n<p>I prayed for her relationship with a teacher in our high school; this was a really difficult woman. It\u2019s too a long story for me to get into, but I prayed over this relationship for<\/p>\n<p>20 years. Before this woman died, we saw amazing answers to prayer in her life. She was one of those teachers who would mock the kids because of their faith in school. Her whole life changed around\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014because of your prayer!<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes, well, I\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014part of it.<\/p>\n<p>John: \u2014because of my wife\u2019s persistence, probably. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Asking God to guide her in her writing. She was beginning to write some books then. I was asking God to control her imagination, because she has a pretty wild imagination. [Laughter] Sometimes it gets the better of her.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I don\u2019t know if God answered that one, did He?<\/p>\n<p>John: I don\u2019t know if He did.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Probably, her imagination was from Him. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>John: Anyway, just that sort of thing.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: You know, I\u2019d just say to the men: when you\u2019re praying for members of your family, just talk to God. Just say, \u201cGod, here\u2019s my wife. You know her. You know that she\u2019s got this concern about her health\u2014she got this report the other day, and she\u2019s worried about it. Lord, please give her assurance that she\u2019s going to be okay. Help her to feel secure. I can\u2019t seem to pull that off, but You can, God.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I mean, that\u2019s not as good as the Lord\u2019s Prayer, but it\u2019s good enough! [Laughter] I mean, God doesn\u2019t care, you know?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Well, in some ways, it sounds like we live in the natural world, and we\u2019re asking God to do something supernatural in our natural world. I\u2019m going to do everything I can. I\u2019m going to love her and communicate with her, but like you said earlier, I can\u2019t change her heart.<\/p>\n<p>John: Right.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I can\u2019t change my son or daughter\u2019s heart. \u201cGod, You have to do that, so I\u2019m going to come to You.\u201d Let me ask you this: how often\u2014how many times\u2014do you maybe pray the same prayer?<\/p>\n<p>John: You know, that\u2019s a really good question. Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount\u2014He said: \u201cKnock, and the door will be opened. Seek, and you will find. Ask, and it will be given unto you,\u201d\u2014but the way He said it, in the original, the tense is: \u201cAsk and keep on asking.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: \u201cKnock and keep on knocking.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I used to think it was foolish to ask for the same thing repeatedly, but then I thought about my relationship with my children. When they came to me and asked for something, I wasn\u2019t always all that clear how serious they were; how important it was; what it meant to them. But if they came back, over and over again, and said, \u201cDad, I really need your help with this,\u201d or whatever, it\u2019s a way that they demonstrate to their father how important something is in their life. So, when we bring something to God in prayer, and we bring it back again a few days later, we bring it back again, there\u2019s no shame in that. There\u2019s nothing wrong with that.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes God answers a prayer by saying, \u201cYes, right now.\u201d You know, sometimes He says, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to be kidding! [Laughter] No way!\u201d Sometimes He says, \u201cNot now.\u201d A wise man used to talk about how God works in response to our needs, and he said, \u201cDelay is not denial.\u201d So, God may say in [response to] prayer, \u201cYou keep asking. In My time, I will do what is right. Delay doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019m denying your request.\u201d God doesn\u2019t always answer the way you want Him to, but many times, He does.<\/p>\n<p>I would like to make another point about prayer, though. One of the things I\u2019ve come to appreciate, as I\u2019ve got a little more time now, is prayer is also being still before God; and prayer is trying to listen to God. I know you know this, but now, because I don\u2019t have to hurry in the morning and get off, I have more time just to sit with a cup of coffee, early in the morning, and just sit with God; just be with God. I will eventually get to those lists, you know, but I\u2019ve found that it\u2019s very helpful just to sort of reflect in God\u2019s presence on the day before; think about the conversations; think about what we did; to give God thanks; to sort of go back and reexamine: \u201cHow did I handle that? Oh, I need to do something about that.\u201d Make a little note, you know? \u201cDon\u2019t forget to do this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And I\u2019ve just found great delight in sort of sitting in the presence of God and reflecting on the day before, reflecting on the day ahead; asking His help on the things that are coming, the things that are coming up; and not being in a hurry, so that I\u2019m able to let my mind go in whatever direction it will go. You know, every morning, your mind goes in different directions. But to do that in the presence of God, I\u2019ve found it to be very\u2014just a great blessing.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: You know, I was coming home from visiting my dad in Ohio, driving back home to Michigan, and I had just lost my mom. She was 90 years old; my parents had been married 70 years. I remember\u2014that drive is four hours\u2014for the first hour, I remember just talking to God the whole time, telling Him what I was feeling, crying. [Emotion in voice]<\/p>\n<p>But there was an intimacy of love that I felt about my heavenly Father. I remember saying, \u201cJesus, You\u2019re my best friend!\u201d I felt and feel about Jesus the way I had first felt about Dave when we were dating, like, \u201cI can\u2019t wait to be with You! I can\u2019t wait to talk with You. I can\u2019t wait to hear what You think about this; or to feel Your presence, and Your power, and Your majesty.\u201d In the car, it\u2019s that overwhelming sense of peace that just comforted my soul.<\/p>\n<p>I thought, \u201cOh, Lord! That\u2019s the greatest gift: Your presence!\u201d And I think God longs for that relationship with us that, as Paul said, to \u201cpray without ceasing.\u201d That\u2019s what it looks like. It\u2019s you, just with your best friend.<\/p>\n<p>John: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And you\u2019re telling Him everything that\u2019s going on in your heart, with your family, with your spouse, with your kids; your worries. I love to think\u2014and I know\u2014that He\u2019s intent upon every word, and emotion, and feeling, because He\u2019s a loving God who cares for us.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I\u2019m thinking, for me\u2014I think a lot of men are probably feeling the same thing\u2014I want to get a prayer journal going. I used to do that. I remember, often, I would write out prayers; and then I\u2019d put an \u201cL\u201d on my little paper and put my pen down.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u201cL\u201d meant \u201clisten.\u201d Then I\u2019d say, \u201cOkay, God, are You saying anything?\u201d And you know, I always ask, \u201cWhat do You want me to know? What do You want me to do?\u201d But to have that in writing, or you can even do it digitally if you want to do it on your phone or whatever, but to have a copy that, someday\u2014<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m guessing those prayer journals are going to end up in your grandkids\u2019 hands someday, and it\u2019s going to be a legacy\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p>John: \u2014maybe they will; maybe they will.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014of a father [and] a grandfather who prayed for them.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: I have a prayer journal. It\u2019s in my bag right now, next to my Bible. I just don\u2019t write in it the way I should and record the prayers I speak about my life, about my family, about my ministry. Well, I think there\u2019s always room for change though, right? I\u2019m going to start, and I think you should do it with me. Maybe grab a journal\u2014maybe go buy a journal or order one online\u2014and start recording your prayers. I think I\u2019m going to do it.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with John Yates on FamilyLife Today. John\u2019s written a book called How a Man Prays for His Family. This is more than just a placebo to make you feel better. John\u2019s going to show you some tools about how to have a powerful consistent prayer life. To pick up John\u2019s book, you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on \u201cToday\u2019s Resources.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve had some incredible friends come beside us and match every dollar we are gifted during this month, up to $2.5 million. A gift from your home, of any amount, helps keep this ministry going. I\u2019d love it if you\u2019d take the time right now to either give us a call or go online to FamilyLifeToday.com and make your donation. We\u2019re so grateful for those who have already given, and we know that without your generous support, none of this would be possible.<\/p>\n<p>When you do give, in addition to that, we\u2019re going to send you a copy of Trillia Newbell\u2019s book, 52 Weeks in the Word, as our \u201cthank you\u201d for your generosity. You can go online to FamilyLifeToday.com [and] click on the \u201cDonate Now\u201d button at the top of the page, or you can give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329. Again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Or you can feel free to drop us something in the mail if you would like. Our address is FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, FL 32832.<\/p>\n<p>A lot of people ask the question: \u201cWhat are some practical steps to help men raise sons of consequence?\u201d Maybe they don\u2019t word it that way, but they\u2019re thinking that: \u201cHow can I raise my son in a way that\u2019s just different than what the culture tells me and, maybe, what my natural sinful instincts might be.\u201d Well, next week, Jon Tyson is going to be in the studio with Dave and Ann Wilson to talk about \u201cRaising Sons of Consequence.\u201d I hope you\u2019ll join us.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife; a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2023 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife.com<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/280379","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=280379"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280866"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=280379"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=280379"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=280379"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=280379"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=280379"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=280379"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}