{"id":280356,"date":"2024-01-10T10:15:00","date_gmt":"2024-01-10T15:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/the-elephants-in-the-room-kevin-and-marcia-myers\/"},"modified":"2024-11-19T04:15:38","modified_gmt":"2024-11-19T09:15:38","slug":"the-elephants-in-the-room-kevin-and-marcia-myers","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-elephants-in-the-room-kevin-and-marcia-myers\/","title":{"rendered":"The Elephants in the Room: Kevin and Marcia Myers"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ever wonder if your habits could be putting a damper on your marriage? Authors Kevin and Marcia Myers believe confronting those big issues can bring a fresh spark to your relationship. Whether it&#8217;s financial concerns, deciding on having more kids, or other biggies, tackling these &#8216;elephants&#8217; can breathe new life into your connection. Here&#8217;s how.<br \/> Show Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> <a href=\"https:\/\/themarriageadventure.com\/ep-60-interview-with-kevin-marcia-myers\/\" fetchpriority=\"high\">Listen to\u00a0more about Kevin and Marcia<\/a> and on Facebook <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/KevinMyersPK\">@KevinMyersPK.<\/a><br \/> And grab Kevin and Marcia Myers&#8217;s book, <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/the-second-happy\/\">The Second Happy: Seven Practices to Make Your Marriage Better Than Your Honeymoon<\/a><br \/> Want to hear more episodes by<a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/guest\/kevin-and-marcia-myers\/\"> Kevin and Marcia Myers?, listen here!<\/a><br \/> Transform your marriage at half the cost! <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/weekend-to-remember\/\">Weekend to Remember Spring Sale,<\/a> Jan 8-22, 2024\u2014your key to lasting love and connection.<br \/> <a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/january-2024\/you-can-be-a-source-of-hope\/?cru_source=24EGPCandcru_medium=podcastandcru_campaign=January2024\">Give a gift today to help FamilyLife to give hope to more families<\/a>.<br \/> Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<br \/> <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=130\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><br \/> Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife&#8217;s app<\/a>!<br \/> Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<br \/> Check out all the FamilyLife&#8217;s podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ever wonder if your habits could be putting a damper on your marriage? Authors Kevin and Marcia Myers believe confronting those big issues can bring a fresh spark to your relationship. Whether it&#8217;s financial concerns, deciding on having more kids, or othe&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280866,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/eec92bc7-3451-4c2f-b2a8-b154011ca369\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:24:51","filesize":"22.79M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9754],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-280356","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","cwp_profile-kevin-and-marcia-myers","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/04\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/280356\/the-elephants-in-the-room-kevin-and-marcia-myers","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/280356\/the-elephants-in-the-room-kevin-and-marcia-myers","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"RhxyzG2dQI\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-elephants-in-the-room-kevin-and-marcia-myers\/\">The Elephants in the Room: Kevin and Marcia Myers<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-elephants-in-the-room-kevin-and-marcia-myers\/embed\/#?secret=RhxyzG2dQI\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Elephants in the Room: Kevin and Marcia Myers&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"RhxyzG2dQI\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["MS-012984"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/eec92bc7-3451-4c2f-b2a8-b154011ca369\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:24:51"],"filesize":["22.79M"],"_thumbnail_id":["280866"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-01-10.pdf"],"transcript_content":["\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript\r\n\r\nReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.\r\n\r\nThe Elephants in the Room\r\n\r\nGuests:Kevin and Marcia Myers\r\n\r\nFrom the series:The Elephants in the Room (Day 3 of 3)\r\n\r\nAir date:January 10, 2024\r\n\r\nDave: One of the things that I really, really underestimated when we got married was the baggage that you brought in. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nAnn: I was going to say you had a lot of baggage. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDave: You didn\u2019t hear me. I said, \u201cyou brought in.\u201d [Laughter]\r\n\r\nAnn: I know. You had a lot of baggage.\r\n\r\nDave: I did.\r\n\r\nKevin: Great lead in.\r\n\r\nAnn: And I did, too.\r\n\r\nShelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\nAnn: This is FamilyLife Today!\r\n\r\nDave: Think about it. If you would put our childhoods and our families of origin on paper, a counselor would look at us and say, \u201cYou\u2019re going to have real struggles.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Then you put on top of that, that you\u2019re 19 and 22, like, \u201cWhat are you thinking?!\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Yes; we think we don\u2019t need help.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u201cBut God.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s like we were carrying a whole airplane cargo thing down the aisle and then into marriage. [Laughter] Again, I don\u2019t think it showed up for us for a few months, if not even a year. \r\n\r\nAnn: I really thought, \u201cI love Jesus so much [that] all of my baggage has disappeared.\u201d He\u2019s so gracious in that, instead of letting it disappear, He brings it back and says, \u201cOh, I\u2019d love to shape you,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m going to allow some of that baggage to shape you. Or you can ignore it, and it will just wreak havoc on [your] lives.\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: Yes, God actually, we found out, used all that for good. It was not good! There was a lot of evil in there, but as He redeemed it\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014He opened the bags and began to heal.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014He helped us open them. Yes. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: We\u2019ve got a couple with us today that wrote a book that really deals with that. Kevin, and his wife Marcia, Myers from Atlanta, Georgia. Well, suburbs of Atlanta, right?\r\n\r\nKevin: Right, exactly.\r\n\r\nDave: Twelve Stone Church; four kids.\r\n\r\nAnn: Welcome.\r\n\r\nKevin and Marcia: Thank you. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes, welcome to FamilyLife. \r\n\r\nYou\u2019ve got kids and grandkids. You\u2019ve got a big church. You\u2019ve got a full life. Then, on top of that, you write a book called The Second Happy: Seven Practices to Make Your Marriage Better than Your Honeymoon. \r\n\r\nKevin: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: Talk about this, because we\u2019ve talked about the \u201cA Zone,\u201d where we all have hopes and dreams. We get into the \u201cB Zone,\u201d which is the real struggle, and a lot of people, \u201cI love it.\u201d You\u2019re such a pastor; you go to the \u201cQ Zone,\u201d which is \u201cquit,\u201d right? [Laughter] \r\n\r\nMarcia: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: We don\u2019t want to go to the \u201cQ Zone.\u201d We want to get to the \u201cC Zone.\u201d If you don\u2019t know what we\u2019re talking about, get the book or listen to the previous broadcast, because it\u2019s great stuff. But talk about this: What is the \u201csecond happy?\u201d\r\n\r\nKevin: Everybody has that marriage moment, when you exchange the \u201cI do,\u201d with such deep, romantic love. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes, you feel. \r\n\r\nKevin: Yes, you guys have said it: \u201cNo one loves like we love. [Laughter] We are forever.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: Somewhere along the line, the majority of us fall out of that love, feel like we\u2019ve made mistakes, and wonder, \u201cIs there any hope? Do you have to move on?\u201d \r\n\r\nWe applied that to our house. You fall in love with a house; you buy it; it\u2019s a fantastic house. Then after a while, you see its flaws. That doesn\u2019t just happen with physical houses. It happens with relationships. You see its flaws; and pretty soon, all you see is its flaws. Then you just put the house for sale, sell it, and go buy another one you fall in love with. We do this with houses, and we exchange them. \r\n\r\nWe did this with a few houses ourselves, until our last house. We\u2019d lived in [it] for ten years, and we were tired of the flaws; then we had the standard American next thing: \u201cWhat if we renovate?\u201d \r\n\r\nMarcia: Right.\r\n\r\nKevin: We started renovating the house that we\u2019d been in for ten years, and we fell back in love with the same house. We re-did the kitchen; we re-did the basement; we did some things in our bathroom. We re-did the house and discovered that there is a second happy in the same house.\r\n\r\nWell, we\u2019ve also discovered that in marriage. You can find a second happy, and it\u2019s more rich. It\u2019s a deeper companionship; it\u2019s everything you hoped was possible, that you lost after the honeymoon; but you don\u2019t get there by accident. What we decided to do, and we hope it\u2019s helpful, is to be honest about our journey, and the things that you wouldn\u2019t easily see from the stage or being a neighbor, that went on at home that we had to work through. That\u2019s how we get the seven practices.\r\n\r\nAnn: That\u2019s really good. As you\u2019re talking, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s exactly what we\u2019re hoping for the Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage getaway.\u201d We really hope: \u201cYou might have a great marriage, but we can help you to get it better,\u201d or \u201cYou might be really struggling, and you can get to the second happy.\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s in, some ways, a renovation weekend\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn and Marcia: \u2014yes.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014because you sort of look at what you\u2019ve built, and you realize, \u201cMan, we\u2019re struggling! We can do better.\u201d We give you tools and, really, a tool bag to say, \u201cWe\u2019re going to help you do it.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014to renovate the house. \r\n\r\nKevin: Right, right.\r\n\r\nDave: Some of you are like, \u201cHow do I sign up for this?\u201d I\u2019m going to tell you right now. You can get half-off if you go to FamilyLifeToday.com right now and sign up for a Weekend to Remember marriage getaway anywhere you want. You can go to a destination; you can go to your own city. There\u2019s probably one near you. Go for the weekend, Friday [evening] to Sunday [noon]. I\u2019m telling you, you will get a second happy. I can\u2019t guarantee it, but I can almost guarantee it. \r\n\r\nWe\u2019ve literally seen God do miracles. One of the last ones I spoke at, a guy came up and said, \u201cRip up my divorce papers.\u201d They were getting divorced. They were going to the lawyer on Monday, and God showed up, and they started a second happy.\r\n\r\nWe started talking about what we brought in\u2014baggage. \r\n\r\nKevin: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: You talk about this in your book. You have a very interesting chapter called \u201cEvict the Elephant.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: Well, I have to read this, Dave, because I thought it was so interesting. You\u2019re saying: \u201cIf a couple really wants their marriage to be all they want it to be, and ultimately all God intends it to be, they need to do what a lot of couples are hesitant to do. They need to learn how to address and evict the elephants in their marriage.\u201d \r\n\r\nNow, I didn\u2019t think that\u2019s what you were going to say. [Laughter] \u201cEvict the elephants? What!? What in the world is that?\u201d What is that?\r\n\r\nKevin: Well, everybody\u2019s probably heard the phrase, \u201cThere\u2019s an elephant in the room.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: All that means is, if we\u2019re sitting here together, and an elephant walked in and sat down on the couch, and nobody reacted\u2014we treated it like that\u2019s normal, it would be so bizarre that it would put the whole room in pretense.\r\n\r\nAnn: Right.\r\n\r\nKevin: We\u2019re not admitting the truth. Something odd, something dysfunctional is in the room. Then, of course, the elephant\u2019s eventually going to do his business, and that gets left in the room. [Laughter] If you don\u2019t acknowledge the elephant, you don\u2019t acknowledge the mess they make either. So, you end up living in pretense. \r\n\r\nPretense, we discovered\u2014really, I learned it in the way I grew up, because we all bring a little baggage or a lot from our families of origin.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, we bring many elephants into the marriage.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Exactly.\r\n\r\nKevin: I say I brought a herd! [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDave: Yes. \r\n\r\nKevin: And it was some time before I could see the elephant, to be honest. I didn\u2019t know all the time what was creating the conflict, and what had we ignored, and what baggage did we bring?\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes; what do you mean by that \u201cpretense?\u201d\r\n\r\nKevin: Well, let me give an illustration that leads into our family. I\u2019ll do it from family of origin. Let me start. My parents got married in high school\u2014[got] pregnant, left high school, didn\u2019t finish; got married. Dad wasn\u2019t highly motivated, so, they lived poor. I was number three, and they were twenty years old when they had me: three kids, twenty, poor, uneducated; no high school graduation. \r\n\r\nThey came to faith in Christ three years later. But my dad had all sorts of baggage, so we lived one way at home and one way at church, and we were at the center of the church as a family. It was a smaller church of 100-200 people. And my dad was a spiritual leader in the church and leading a completely different life at home; two different lives. \r\n\r\nWhen we went to church, there were times he would say, \u201cStraighten up. We\u2019re at church!\u201d Which means you don\u2019t bring the truth of what\u2019s going on at home to church. \u201cWe don\u2019t tell the truth,\u201d so we live in pretense; and pretense ruined my life. Eventually, they divorced, and my two older brothers and my dad left. I\u2019m left with Mom and my younger sister. I mean, you can\u2019t do that to a 12-year-old boy and not unravel his life. Baggage comes with that; wounds come with that; emotional dysfunction. \r\n\r\nNo family is perfect, so every family has dysfunction; but those are the things that undo the quality of companionship. You can\u2019t get to an experiential oneness unless you travel through pretense, unless you\u2019re honest about the elephants in the room and begin to evict them. Sometimes, you don\u2019t even know what they are. So, that\u2019s what we mean by the framework for the conversation.\r\n\r\nAnn: Marcia, did you have any elephants?  Marcia: Yes, I would say that I did. We laugh, because my family was far more consistent\u2014Christian\u2014pretty much [what they] showed me both at home and at church was the same. But I think partly I, maybe, got a little self-righteous just because I thought: \u201cWell, our family\u2019s perfect,\u201d and \u201cWe\u2019re perfect, and I can show you how to be perfect,\u201d you know?\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nMarcia: \u201cThey did it the right way; therefore, what I do is the right way as well.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: You had a sense of pride.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Yes, I would say. Wouldn\u2019t you say that was probably it (more)? \r\n\r\nKevin: Yes; and that was a breakthrough for us.\r\n\r\nDave: Kevin said that pretty quick. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nMarcia: He did, didn\u2019t he?\r\n\r\nDave: Yes. \r\n\r\nKevin: I\u2019m telling you, it was a major breakthrough,\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014to discover that and admit it?\r\n\r\nKevin: \u2014because she wasn\u2019t wrong. She wasn\u2019t wrong. She grew up that way. But just because you live better, the moment it goes to self-righteous, it\u2019s undoing, and off-putting, and distancing. Well, kudos for her, because she eventually had the courage to see it, own it, and identify it before I ever could.\r\n\r\nMarcia: I think, just in relationships, you both come from a different place. When you get married, you\u2019re marrying a whole bunch of things! Some of them are good, and some of them aren\u2019t so good. But I notice that people always want their traditions to come into the marriage and not the other person\u2019s traditions. \u201cMy family was right, and your family was wrong.\u201d When, actually, it\u2019s more like a lot of times they\u2019re just different. We have to decide how to blend them together. \r\n\r\nDave: [Laughter] I\u2019m laughing, because I married the same woman. \r\n\r\nMarcia: Yes! [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019m like, \u201cAre you not going, \u2018Wow, that is it\u2019?\u201d  \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: I mean, I remember you saying, as a little girl\u2014and they have a great family. Her dad was my high school baseball coach.\r\n\r\nAnn: We didn\u2019t grow up with faith, but they were just good people.\r\n\r\nKevin and Marcia: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, they were really good. In our city\u2014it was a town of about 40,000\u2014they were known as the family. \u201cYou want to be like the Barons.\u201d \r\n\r\nI had all kinds of elephants. They were standing up in the room, from alcohol, to adultery, to girlfriends, to abuse; it\u2019s all there. Then her family really was a model, but it became a problem in our marriage.\r\n\r\nAnn: But I also had sexual abuse in my family.\r\n\r\nDave: That\u2019s the secret.\r\n\r\nAnn: But I didn\u2019t know that was even an elephant. I thought\u2014\r\n\r\nMarcia: \u2014yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: \u2014there you go.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014I just thought, \u201cIt\u2019s in the other room. It\u2019s not in this room.\u201d \r\n\r\nKevin and Marcia: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: And it was in the room, stinking, all the time.\r\n\r\nKevin: Yes.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Interesting.\r\n\r\nDave: What do you do when you start to identify, \u201cWe\u2019ve got some elephants?\u201d I love your cartoon. \r\n\r\nKevin: Isn\u2019t that amazing?!\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes, read it, Dave.\r\n\r\nDave: No, tell them it. \r\n\r\nKevin: We put\u2014you have the stick-figure families on the back of cars and, sometimes, you have the pets with them.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes; on the window, the stickers.\r\n\r\nKevin: \u2014on the window, yes. \r\n\r\nMarcia: \u2014the mom, and the dad, and the kids.\r\n\r\nKevin: \u2014the little white sticker on the back, with the mom, the dad, the kids. How many kids and then, whatever\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes\u2014maybe the soccer ball.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Yes, yes, yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: \u2014so, what\u2019s your sport? How many [kids]? And whatever\u2014your pets. You\u2019ve got a little dog, a little cat\u2014whatever. \r\n\r\nWe put a family of four\u2014a stick figure dad, mom, two kids\u2014and then, we put an elephant. [Laughter] What we were really saying is this: \u201cIf you embrace the elephant as a family pet\u201d\u2014here\u2019s what you have to care about, Dave\u2014\u201cyou\u2019re not going to do anything to evict an elephant until you understand what eventually will be destroyed because of the elephant.\u201d \r\n\r\nIf you don\u2019t take the life of King David in the Old Testament, who decided, at a certain point of success, that he wasn\u2019t going to go back out to battle. [He] sends everybody else, ends up in an affair; hides it\u2014welcome to the elephant in the room.\r\n\r\nDave and Marcia: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: Then indirectly, but by his own hand, really, murders the husband; marries her; has the kid. What did he begin to do? Pretense, pretense, pretense. \r\n\r\nThen, later on, when his own sons did the same kind of thing\u2014I won\u2019t get into the long story about Amnon with Tamar and his other son, Absalom; all of it\u2014there\u2019s pretense. And then, David covers it up and does nothing about that. David\u2019s greatest sorrow was what broke between [him] and Absalom, and it was because a family let the elephants become the family pet. \r\n\r\nMarcia: Right.\r\n\r\nKevin: The moment you realize the destruction of elephants in the room, you\u2019ll have the courage to evict them. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes, that\u2019s good.\r\n\r\nKevin: Wherever you are in your marriage or family, everybody brings some baggage; everybody brings some elephants with them. If you don\u2019t address those and evict them, it eventually will be the source of great damage.\r\n\r\nDave: Whatever elephant you\u2019re struggling with\u2014it could be sin; it could just be generational in your family\u2014you\u2019ve got to understand [that] what you just shared is going to go down. I\u2019m thinking of a mom and dad listening right now. I just want to remind you: what you\u2019re struggling with in the dark, and you think, \u201cNobody will ever find out\u2014\u201d They may never find out, but I\u2019m telling you, even as an older dad and, now, a grandfather, that sin goes into your family, even though it\u2019s private. \r\n\r\nMarcia: Yes, it\u2019s so true.\r\n\r\nDave: You start to see your sons and daughters: \u201cThey\u2019re struggling with what I\u2019m struggling with, and they don\u2019t even know that\u2019s my struggle.\u201d \r\n\r\nKevin: That is correct.\r\n\r\nDave: I can see it, and it\u2019s like, then, the elephant becomes\u2014nobody\u2019s going to talk about it. \u201cI\u2019m not going to tell them,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m not going to let them\u2014\u201d \r\n\r\nYou have to, right, not only talk about it but then, evict it? You\u2019ve got to start with: \u201cWhat\u2019s the elephant?\u201d right?\r\n\r\nMarcia: Absolutely.\r\n\r\nKevin: And when you don\u2019t talk about it, Dave, that\u2019s when you adopt it. \r\n\r\nDave: Oooh.\r\n\r\nKevin: See, the moment you decided not to talk about it, you adopted it as the family pet. Even if you put it in the closet, it\u2019s still there. \r\n\r\nDave: Wow!\r\n\r\nKevin: You\u2019ve now adopted it. You might as well put it on the back of your car with the rest of your family picture and say, \u201cWell, we\u2019ve got elephants, and we just embrace them.\u201d [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: The destruction that comes down the road is horrific.\r\n\r\nAnn: How did you guys address the elephant? What did that look like? \r\n\r\nKevin: Oh, my! [Laughter] So many, obviously.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Right, exactly. \r\n\r\nKevin: And I brought the majority of elephants. I, eventually, was able to own that. I was eventually able to say, \u201cAlright, we have so much baggage; so many elephants,\u201d and we started with one of mine. \r\n\r\nHere\u2019s what we discovered: when one has the courage to confess there\u2019s an elephant\u2014so, you can\u2019t evict it until you admit it\u2019s in the room. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: So, you say, \u201cWhat do you do?\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cOkay. Look around. Admit it\u2019s in the room.\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cWhat if there are 20 elephants?\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cPick one! Any one will do. [Laughter] Pick the smallest elephant and say, \u2018You know, we have an elephant in the room.\u2019\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: The least painful one, yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: Yes, that: \u201cWe can at least deal with the baby elephant.\u201d Confess it. And when you do, begin to work through it. \r\n\r\nAnyhow, when we did\u2014why don\u2019t we illustrate?\r\n\r\nMarcia: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: Why don\u2019t we talk about the difficulty? We had two children. In the communication process of navigating conflict, we talk about fair fights. The first section is \u201ccommunication. The second section is \u201ccompromise.\u201d And then, the third is \u201ccounseling,\u201d and that\u2019s when you can\u2019t get through it. Many times, you can\u2019t get through conflict and get to resolution because you have elephants. I\u2019m going to put that in a package, so people understand that we, eventually, had one thing we couldn\u2019t get through.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Right. We had two kids, a boy and a girl. Kevin was like, \u201cThis is great. I\u2019ve got a boy. I\u2019ve got a girl. I\u2019m done.\u201d I, on the other hand, was like, \u201cWell, I grew up in a really big family. I love being a mom. I don\u2019t think I\u2019m done at two.\u201d That was the conflict. \r\n\r\nFor years, really, we went back and forth. We would put it under the table for a while, like it wasn\u2019t there. Every once in a while, we\u2019d check back in: \u201cI still want one.\u201d He\u2019d be like, \u201cI still don\u2019t want one.\u201d So, there was a constant back and forth that way.\r\n\r\nKevin: Yes. We ended up going to friends\u2014processing with friends\u2014and eventually, we went to a counselor. The counselor said, \u201cYou\u2019re afraid of having more kids, because you\u2019re going to fail like your father.\u201d The next word out of my mouth was an expletive that pastors don\u2019t use, and we left.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014because you were mad.\r\n\r\nMarcia: He was mad. He [the counselor] just cut right down to it.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: He had just said, \u201cThere\u2019s an elephant in the room.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: You literally just got up and walked out.\r\n\r\nKevin: Yes, we were done.\r\n\r\nMarcia: We never went back.\r\n\r\nKevin: We never went back.\r\n\r\nDave: Oh, you never went back?\r\n\r\nMarcia: No.\r\n\r\nKevin: Never; but what I realized is, I had seen all my father\u2019s elephants, but I didn\u2019t know how to see my own. I\u2019m not willing to have a third [child], because I\u2019m not even succeeding with two, and I can\u2019t trust God to help us with three, financially, emotionally or relationally. If we\u2019re struggling with two\u2014more than she knows I\u2019m struggling, [because] I\u2019m not telling her. \r\n\r\nDave and Ann: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: A whole bunch of us have issues that come from the wounds of our past that make decisions in the present that nobody knows are influencing the decisions.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Right.\r\n\r\nKevin: If you don\u2019t acknowledge the elephant, you don\u2019t know what\u2019s influencing the decision. \r\n\r\nI had to begin to say, \u201cLook, I\u2019m concerned about this.\u201d And then, her elephant in the room was finance. She came from a financially stable home; I came from wreckage. We had already gone through bankruptcy, growing up, more than once. We were poor\u2014government subsidized housing; food stamps when I was in high school\u2014I mean, there is something in me that gets affected by that. And now, we\u2019re planting a church, it\u2019s not working; we have two children, and she wants another one. \u201cWhat is wrong with you?\u201d\r\n\r\nMarcia: I was like, \u201cWell, I mean, we always had enough.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: You\u2019re thinking, \u201cWe\u2019re going to trust Jesus.\u201d \r\n\r\nMarcia: Yes, exactly!\r\n\r\nAnn: That\u2019s what I would have said. \r\n\r\nMarcia: \u201cWhy worry about it?\u201d\r\n\r\nKevin: I love that answer. \r\n\r\nMarcia: I mean, we got into trouble every once in a while, but we always worked it out, you know? \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nMarcia: I mean, \u201cWe\u2019re not going to starve to death. It\u2019s going to be fine.\u201d \r\n\r\nBut I had to come to grips. What we had decided, if we\u2019re going to go forward\u2014and there\u2019s a whole other thing about how we came to that decision, but we finally decided that we would have another one, but we had to make an agreement. So, the agreement\u2014part of it\u2014was that I was going to take over the finances, because he didn\u2019t want to do it anymore. I was like, \u201cOh, I can do this! This is going to be so easy.\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: \u201cThis is awesome.\u201d\r\n\r\nMarcia: \u201cI cannot wait to show him how to do a budget.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Well, I was so wrong. I made such a mess of it. There wasn\u2019t enough money. I thought we would be able to save, but it truly was difficult. He wasn\u2019t wrong about that. \r\n\r\nAnn: He had something to be fearful about.\r\n\r\nMarcia: He had something to be fearful about, exactly. Once I figured that out, I was like, \u201cOh, I am putting pressure on him,\u201d especially when you know that, when you have a third child, you\u2019re probably going to get a bigger car, and you\u2019re going to want a bigger house. I\u2019m going to want all these things, and I\u2019m going to just think they should appear. \r\n\r\nWe kind of came to the realization that: \u201cWe\u2019re going to stay where we are. I\u2019m not going to ask you for a new house or a new car, but I am going to get what I really want, which is another child.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: That was your compromise.\r\n\r\nKevin: Yes.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: Her work world shifted, and she\u2019s going to stay home, and be with the three, and we\u2019re going to live on whatever we make, and we\u2019re not going to put pressure on the church. \r\n\r\nMarcia: Right.\r\n\r\nKevin: Because that\u2019s what happens a lot. People get mad at the church; pastors get mad at the church or whatever the case might be. People do it in their own business. They get frustrated. Somebody feels the pressure. \r\n\r\nWe\u2019re making this sound fast, but this took some time to navigate and confess what was affecting the decision. I had mine; she had hers. I think hers was finance. Mine was all the emotional risk, and what it took to trust God to provide and navigate that. We came to the other side by evicting these elephants.\r\n\r\nDave: Addressing them was the hardest thing ever; evicting them was even harder. And yet, here\u2019s our story\u2014and I know yours is exactly the same: you didn\u2019t only have one more child; you had two. [Laughter] So, God blessed in an amazing way. \r\n\r\nThe only way you get to the second happy, where you get to what you\u2019re hoping it would be at the beginning, is with the gospel. There\u2019s no other way.\r\n\r\nKevin: There is no other way.\r\n\r\nDave: Jesus meets you. He creates environments where the elephants appear, and He says, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to deal with this,\u201d and then He gives you the power to deal with it. \r\n\r\nI actually got to the point where I could experience forgiveness in my life toward the elephants, toward the sin that was generational in my family. God redeemed it, and now, He uses it to help others, like He\u2019s using you and your book and your process. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: The things you went through, and the things you were able to deal with, are now a blessing to others. \r\n\r\nI know there\u2019s a couple listening, saying, \u201cWe can\u2019t get there.\u201d Yes, you can. You can\u2019t without Jesus, but you can if you\u2019re willing to surrender. \r\n\r\nMarcia: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: Again, you can\u2019t surrender your spouse; you can only surrender you, but if you\u2019re willing to say, \u201cI will surrender,\u201d and start the journey to the second happy, He will get you there. He really will. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nMarcia: That\u2019s right.\r\n\r\nDave: Today\u2019s the day to start.\r\n\r\nShelby: I have found that neediness in the Christian life is actually a good thing. Now, I don\u2019t know of anyone who would say that they want to be more needy, but this is exactly what God calls us to in Scripture, because it\u2019s in our recognition of neediness and our cry for help that the Lord truly shows up and makes lasting change. \r\n\r\nSo, like Dave was saying just now, call out to God for help and wait for Him to change you and, consequently, change all your other relationships, including your marriage. Such great wisdom today!\r\n\r\nI\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Kevin and Marcia Myers on FamilyLife Today. Kevin and Marcia have written a book called The Second Happy: Seven Practices to Make Your Marriage Better than Your Honeymoon. That\u2019s quite the promise, and I know they deliver.\r\n\r\nThis book is going to be available to you by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com and clicking on the \u201cToday\u2019s Resources\u201d link, or you can get the link in the show notes. Or you can give us a call at 800-358-6329; again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d And feel free to drop us something in the mail if you\u2019d like to. Our address is FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, FL 32832.\r\n\r\nNow, of course, as we\u2019ve been talking about today, and over the last three days here, marriage takes work! You can ask anybody. Ask your parents; ask your pastor; ask any couple you know. Great marriages don\u2019t just happen. At FamilyLife\u2019s Weekend to Remember marriage getaway, you and your spouse really get the time to intentionally grow with one another. You may have already heard that Weekend to Remember is now 50% off through January 22nd, but I wanted to tell you as well that our Weekend to Remember gift cards are also 50% off. \r\n\r\nIt can sometimes be hard to choose where you want to go right now, so a gift card can allow you to buy now and then register for your location later on. Also, when you\u2019ve heard about a Weekend to Remember marriage getaway, you may have another couple in mind. These gift cards really make great gifts to give to those couples. All of that is half-off now through January 22nd. You can head over to WeekendtoRemember.com and grab a gift card right now.\r\n\r\nNow, coming up tomorrow, a lot of us think that theology, or studying theology, is kind of boring; but we are worshipers of God. Kelly Kapic is going to be here to help us talk about practical theology, in daily life, that is not boring. That\u2019s coming up tomorrow. We hope you\u2019ll join us.\r\n\r\nOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?  Copyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife                                 \r\n\r\n\n"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-280356.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-280356.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-e11dbe9f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-e11dbe9f > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 3em;padding-bottom: 3em;padding-left: 1.5em;padding-right: 1.5em;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #f8f8f8;;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-e11dbe9f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-e11dbe9f > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f{padding-top: 3px;padding-bottom: 3px;padding-left: 1.5px;padding-right: 1.5px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #f8f8f8;;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-e11dbe9f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-e11dbe9f > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f{padding-top: 3px;padding-bottom: 3px;padding-left: 1.5px;padding-right: 1.5px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #f8f8f8;;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-85559158{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-85559158 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 960px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 10px;padding-right: 10px;margin-top: 60px !important;margin-bottom: 60px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ea16301a{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ea16301a > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.uagb-layout-grid > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{row-gap: 40px;column-gap: 40px;grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr)  minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: start;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-26ccc5c9{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: flex-start;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9{min-height: 710px;box-shadow: 3px 7px 7px -1px rgba(0,0,0,0.15) ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #ffffff;;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: flex-start;flex-wrap: nowrap;align-self: start;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;background: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/07\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.jpg) 50% 50%;;background-size: cover;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-84f50fa3{max-width: 100vw;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-84f50fa3 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3{min-height: 250px;box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-repeat: no-repeat;background-position: 50% 50%;background-size: cover;background-attachment: scroll;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.webp);background-clip: padding-box;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-271bf38d{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-271bf38d > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ab8d0982{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ab8d0982 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.uagb-layout-grid{row-gap: 8px;column-gap: 8px;grid-template-columns: auto  minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-heading-text{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3 .uagb-heading-text{font-weight: 300;font-size: 16px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: left;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-f9d54988 .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 4px;padding-bottom: 4px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;border-top-width: 3px;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-heading-text{color: #006a5a;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36 .uagb-heading-text{font-weight: 400;font-size: 26px;line-height: 1.2em;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;color: #1573a2;fill: #1573a2;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{padding: 0px;border-radius: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__label{font-size: 20px;text-decoration: !important;line-height: em;color: #1573a2;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;padding-top: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__label{text-align: left;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{text-decoration: !important;font-size: 20px;line-height: em;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{margin-left: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child {flex-direction: row-reverse;}.uagb-block-fdd052c2.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-fdd052c2.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-679dc0da.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-679dc0da.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-fbb8dca6.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-fbb8dca6.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-b5e9a44d.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-b5e9a44d.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-10525170.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-10525170.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-48a597f8{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-48a597f8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: flex-start;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8{min-height: 710px;box-shadow: 3px 7px 7px -1px rgba(0,0,0,0.15) ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #ffffff;;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: flex-start;flex-wrap: nowrap;align-self: start;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;background: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/07\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.jpg) 50% 50%;;background-size: cover;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-22a41c70{max-width: 100vw;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-22a41c70 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70{min-height: 250px;box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-repeat: no-repeat;background-position: 50% 50%;background-size: cover;background-attachment: scroll;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/HelpFamiliesGrow2.webp);background-clip: padding-box;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-562935bf{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-562935bf > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5a1442f2{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5a1442f2 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.uagb-layout-grid{row-gap: 8px;column-gap: 8px;grid-template-columns: auto  minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-heading-text{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f .uagb-heading-text{font-weight: 300;font-size: 16px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: left;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 4px;padding-bottom: 4px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;border-top-width: 3px;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-heading-text{color: #006a5a;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3 .uagb-heading-text{font-weight: 400;font-size: 26px;line-height: 1.2em;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;color: #1573a2;fill: #1573a2;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{padding: 0px;border-radius: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__label{font-size: 20px;text-decoration: !important;line-height: em;color: #1573a2;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;padding-top: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__label{text-align: left;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{text-decoration: !important;font-size: 20px;line-height: em;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{margin-left: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child {flex-direction: row-reverse;}.uagb-block-83befcbf.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-83befcbf.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-75d2f158.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-75d2f158.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-0d14af90.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-0d14af90.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-4dd6f9d3.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-4dd6f9d3.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-28c58e21.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-28c58e21.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-85559158{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-85559158 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 10px;padding-right: 10px;margin-top: 60px !important;margin-bottom: 60px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ea16301a{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ea16301a > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.uagb-layout-grid > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr)  minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-26ccc5c9{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #ffffff;;grid-column: span 1;grid-row: span 1;align-self: stretch;justify-self: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-84f50fa3{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-84f50fa3 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-position: 54% 48%;background-size: cover;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.webp);background-clip: padding-box;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-271bf38d{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-271bf38d > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ab8d0982{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ab8d0982 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.uagb-layout-grid{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3 .uagb-heading-text{font-size: 12px;letter-spacing: 1px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: center;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;margin-bottom: initial;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-f9d54988 .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap {padding: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-48a597f8{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-48a597f8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #ffffff;;grid-column: span 1;grid-row: span 1;align-self: stretch;justify-self: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-22a41c70{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-22a41c70 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-position: 54% 48%;background-size: cover;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/HelpFamiliesGrow2.webp);background-clip: padding-box;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-562935bf{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-562935bf > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5a1442f2{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5a1442f2 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.uagb-layout-grid{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f .uagb-heading-text{font-size: 12px;letter-spacing: 1px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: center;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;margin-bottom: initial;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap {padding: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-85559158{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-85559158 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 10px;padding-right: 10px;margin-top: 60px !important;margin-bottom: 60px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ea16301a{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ea16301a > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.uagb-layout-grid > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-26ccc5c9{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px !important;margin-bottom: 0px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;order: initial;background-color: #ffffff;;flex-wrap: wrap;grid-column: span 1;grid-row: span 1;align-self: stretch;justify-self: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-84f50fa3{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-84f50fa3 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.webp);background-clip: padding-box;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-271bf38d{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-271bf38d > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ab8d0982{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ab8d0982 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.uagb-layout-grid{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading {padding-left: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3 .uagb-heading-text{letter-spacing: 4px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: center;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;margin-bottom: initial;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-f9d54988 .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{padding: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-48a597f8{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-48a597f8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px !important;margin-bottom: 0px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;order: initial;background-color: #ffffff;;flex-wrap: wrap;grid-column: span 1;grid-row: span 1;align-self: stretch;justify-self: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-22a41c70{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-22a41c70 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/HelpFamiliesGrow2.webp);background-clip: padding-box;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-562935bf{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-562935bf > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5a1442f2{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5a1442f2 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.uagb-layout-grid{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading {padding-left: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f .uagb-heading-text{letter-spacing: 4px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: center;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;margin-bottom: initial;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{padding: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ecebc267{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background: linear-gradient(130deg, #ffffff 60%, #f8f8f8 46%);;background-clip: padding-box;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ecebc267{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background: linear-gradient(130deg, #ffffff 60%, #f8f8f8 46%);;background-clip: padding-box;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ecebc267{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background: linear-gradient(130deg, #ffffff 60%, #f8f8f8 46%);;background-clip: padding-box;flex-wrap: wrap;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: row;align-items: flex-start;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 32px;column-gap: 32px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 80px;padding-bottom: 80px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;row-gap: 32px;column-gap: 32px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 25%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;max-width: 25% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 25%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;max-width: 25% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 25%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;max-width: 25% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 25%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;max-width: 25% !important;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{padding-top: 80px;padding-bottom: 80px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;max-width:  !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;max-width:  !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;max-width:  !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;max-width:  !important;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{padding-top: 80px;padding-bottom: 80px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;max-width: 100% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;max-width: 100% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;max-width: 100% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;max-width: 100% !important;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662.wp-block-uagb-container{color: #ffffff;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662.wp-block-uagb-container *{color: #ffffff;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-f064f662{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-f064f662 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 20px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 20px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #25282a;;row-gap: 20px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: row;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 20px;column-gap: 32px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: row;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 20px;column-gap: 32px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: auto !important;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-default figure img{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000070;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure figcaption{font-style: normal;align-self: center;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay figure img{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000070;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__color-wrapper{opacity: 0.2;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner{left: 15px;right: 15px;top: 15px;bottom: 15px;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-heading{font-style: normal;color: #fff;opacity: 1;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-heading a{color: #fff;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-caption{opacity: 0;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image__figure:hover .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__color-wrapper{opacity: 1;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-separator{width: 30%;border-top-width: 2px;border-top-color: #fff;opacity: 0;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure img{width: 292px;height: 48px;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure:hover .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-caption{opacity: 1;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure:hover .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-separator{opacity: 1;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-default figure:hover img{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000070;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay figure:hover img{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000070;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-f064f662{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-f064f662 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 20px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #25282a;;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure img{width: 280px;height: 45px;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-f064f662{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-f064f662 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 20px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #25282a;;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure img{width: 280px;height: 45px;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #006c5b;;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #006c5b;;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #006c5b;;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #006c5b;;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #006c5b;;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #006c5b;;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5096eaa1{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5096eaa1 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-89b3b7a8{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 2em;padding-bottom: 2em;padding-left: 2em;padding-right: 2em;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-top-left-radius: 30px;border-top-right-radius: 30px;border-bottom-left-radius: 30px;border-bottom-right-radius: 30px;border-color: inherit;background-color: #ebebeb;;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-97ee3d2f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-97ee3d2f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-97ee3d2f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-97ee3d2f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.uagb-block-232092dc.wp-block-uagb-buttons.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap {gap: 10px;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap {justify-content: left;align-items: center;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-uagb-buttons-child .uagb-buttons-repeater{background: #f3bd48;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link{background: #f3bd48;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link:hover{background: #f4deaa;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link:focus{background: #f4deaa;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-button__wrapper .uagb-buttons-repeater{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link.has-text-color:hover .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link.has-text-color:focus .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-button__wrapper  .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000026;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-button__wrapper  .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link:hover{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000026;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link{border-color: #333;border-style: none;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link:hover{border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link:focus{border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-button.is-style-outline .uagb-button__wrapper .wp-block-button__link.uagb-buttons-repeater{border-color: #333;border-style: none;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-button.is-style-outline .uagb-button__wrapper .wp-block-button__link.uagb-buttons-repeater:hover{border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater:hover .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater:focus .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater .uagb-button__icon > svg{width: 15px;height: 15px;fill: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater:hover .uagb-button__icon > svg{fill: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater:focus .uagb-button__icon > svg{fill: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater .uagb-button__icon-position-after{margin-left: 8px;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater .uagb-button__icon-position-before{margin-right: 8px;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-button__link{text-transform: normal;text-decoration: none;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5096eaa1{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5096eaa1 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-89b3b7a8{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8{padding-top: 2px;padding-bottom: 2px;padding-left: 2px;padding-right: 2px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #ebebeb;;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap {justify-content: center;align-items: center;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap .wp-block-button{width: auto;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-button.is-style-outline .uagb-button__wrapper .wp-block-button__link.uagb-buttons-repeater{border-style: none;border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link{border-style: none;border-color: #333;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5096eaa1{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5096eaa1 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-89b3b7a8{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8{padding-top: 2px;padding-bottom: 2px;padding-left: 2px;padding-right: 2px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #ebebeb;;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap {justify-content: center;align-items: center;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap .wp-block-button{width: auto;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-button.is-style-outline .uagb-button__wrapper .wp-block-button__link.uagb-buttons-repeater{border-style: none;border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link{border-style: none;border-color: #333;}}\";s:2:\"js\";s:161:\"document.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\", function(){ window.addEventListener( 'load', function() {\n\tUAGBButtonChild.init( '.uagb-block-00708611' );\n});\n });\";s:18:\"current_block_list\";a:17:{i:0;s:14:\"uagb\/container\";i:1;s:12:\"core\/heading\";i:2;s:9:\"core\/html\";i:3;s:10:\"core\/group\";i:6;s:21:\"uagb\/advanced-heading\";i:7;s:14:\"uagb\/separator\";i:8;s:14:\"uagb\/icon-list\";i:9;s:20:\"uagb\/icon-list-child\";i:10;s:11:\"core\/search\";i:13;s:18:\"core\/legacy-widget\";i:16;s:10:\"uagb\/image\";i:17;s:17:\"core\/social-links\";i:18;s:16:\"core\/social-link\";i:19;s:14:\"core\/paragraph\";i:20;s:30:\"meta-box\/fl-conditional-blocks\";i:21;s:12:\"uagb\/buttons\";i:22;s:18:\"uagb\/buttons-child\";}s:8:\"uag_flag\";b:1;s:11:\"uag_version\";i:1776470598;s:6:\"gfonts\";a:1:{s:7:\"Default\";a:2:{s:10:\"fontfamily\";s:7:\"Default\";s:12:\"fontvariants\";a:0:{}}}s:10:\"gfonts_url\";s:71:\"\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\/css?family=Default&subset=latin&display=fallback\";s:12:\"gfonts_files\";a:0:{}s:14:\"uag_faq_layout\";b:0;}"]},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/04\/image-scaled.jpg",1024,1024,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Margaret","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coylefamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Ever wonder if your habits could be putting a damper on your marriage? Authors Kevin and Marcia Myers believe confronting those big issues can bring a fresh spark to your relationship. Whether it's financial concerns, deciding on having more kids, or othe...","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-01-10.pdf","transcript_content":"\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript\r\n\r\nReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.\r\n\r\nThe Elephants in the Room\r\n\r\nGuests:Kevin and Marcia Myers\r\n\r\nFrom the series:The Elephants in the Room (Day 3 of 3)\r\n\r\nAir date:January 10, 2024\r\n\r\nDave: One of the things that I really, really underestimated when we got married was the baggage that you brought in. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nAnn: I was going to say you had a lot of baggage. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDave: You didn\u2019t hear me. I said, \u201cyou brought in.\u201d [Laughter]\r\n\r\nAnn: I know. You had a lot of baggage.\r\n\r\nDave: I did.\r\n\r\nKevin: Great lead in.\r\n\r\nAnn: And I did, too.\r\n\r\nShelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\nAnn: This is FamilyLife Today!\r\n\r\nDave: Think about it. If you would put our childhoods and our families of origin on paper, a counselor would look at us and say, \u201cYou\u2019re going to have real struggles.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Then you put on top of that, that you\u2019re 19 and 22, like, \u201cWhat are you thinking?!\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Yes; we think we don\u2019t need help.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u201cBut God.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s like we were carrying a whole airplane cargo thing down the aisle and then into marriage. [Laughter] Again, I don\u2019t think it showed up for us for a few months, if not even a year. \r\n\r\nAnn: I really thought, \u201cI love Jesus so much [that] all of my baggage has disappeared.\u201d He\u2019s so gracious in that, instead of letting it disappear, He brings it back and says, \u201cOh, I\u2019d love to shape you,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m going to allow some of that baggage to shape you. Or you can ignore it, and it will just wreak havoc on [your] lives.\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: Yes, God actually, we found out, used all that for good. It was not good! There was a lot of evil in there, but as He redeemed it\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014He opened the bags and began to heal.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014He helped us open them. Yes. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: We\u2019ve got a couple with us today that wrote a book that really deals with that. Kevin, and his wife Marcia, Myers from Atlanta, Georgia. Well, suburbs of Atlanta, right?\r\n\r\nKevin: Right, exactly.\r\n\r\nDave: Twelve Stone Church; four kids.\r\n\r\nAnn: Welcome.\r\n\r\nKevin and Marcia: Thank you. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes, welcome to FamilyLife. \r\n\r\nYou\u2019ve got kids and grandkids. You\u2019ve got a big church. You\u2019ve got a full life. Then, on top of that, you write a book called The Second Happy: Seven Practices to Make Your Marriage Better than Your Honeymoon. \r\n\r\nKevin: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: Talk about this, because we\u2019ve talked about the \u201cA Zone,\u201d where we all have hopes and dreams. We get into the \u201cB Zone,\u201d which is the real struggle, and a lot of people, \u201cI love it.\u201d You\u2019re such a pastor; you go to the \u201cQ Zone,\u201d which is \u201cquit,\u201d right? [Laughter] \r\n\r\nMarcia: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: We don\u2019t want to go to the \u201cQ Zone.\u201d We want to get to the \u201cC Zone.\u201d If you don\u2019t know what we\u2019re talking about, get the book or listen to the previous broadcast, because it\u2019s great stuff. But talk about this: What is the \u201csecond happy?\u201d\r\n\r\nKevin: Everybody has that marriage moment, when you exchange the \u201cI do,\u201d with such deep, romantic love. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes, you feel. \r\n\r\nKevin: Yes, you guys have said it: \u201cNo one loves like we love. [Laughter] We are forever.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: Somewhere along the line, the majority of us fall out of that love, feel like we\u2019ve made mistakes, and wonder, \u201cIs there any hope? Do you have to move on?\u201d \r\n\r\nWe applied that to our house. You fall in love with a house; you buy it; it\u2019s a fantastic house. Then after a while, you see its flaws. That doesn\u2019t just happen with physical houses. It happens with relationships. You see its flaws; and pretty soon, all you see is its flaws. Then you just put the house for sale, sell it, and go buy another one you fall in love with. We do this with houses, and we exchange them. \r\n\r\nWe did this with a few houses ourselves, until our last house. We\u2019d lived in [it] for ten years, and we were tired of the flaws; then we had the standard American next thing: \u201cWhat if we renovate?\u201d \r\n\r\nMarcia: Right.\r\n\r\nKevin: We started renovating the house that we\u2019d been in for ten years, and we fell back in love with the same house. We re-did the kitchen; we re-did the basement; we did some things in our bathroom. We re-did the house and discovered that there is a second happy in the same house.\r\n\r\nWell, we\u2019ve also discovered that in marriage. You can find a second happy, and it\u2019s more rich. It\u2019s a deeper companionship; it\u2019s everything you hoped was possible, that you lost after the honeymoon; but you don\u2019t get there by accident. What we decided to do, and we hope it\u2019s helpful, is to be honest about our journey, and the things that you wouldn\u2019t easily see from the stage or being a neighbor, that went on at home that we had to work through. That\u2019s how we get the seven practices.\r\n\r\nAnn: That\u2019s really good. As you\u2019re talking, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s exactly what we\u2019re hoping for the Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage getaway.\u201d We really hope: \u201cYou might have a great marriage, but we can help you to get it better,\u201d or \u201cYou might be really struggling, and you can get to the second happy.\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s in, some ways, a renovation weekend\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn and Marcia: \u2014yes.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014because you sort of look at what you\u2019ve built, and you realize, \u201cMan, we\u2019re struggling! We can do better.\u201d We give you tools and, really, a tool bag to say, \u201cWe\u2019re going to help you do it.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014to renovate the house. \r\n\r\nKevin: Right, right.\r\n\r\nDave: Some of you are like, \u201cHow do I sign up for this?\u201d I\u2019m going to tell you right now. You can get half-off if you go to FamilyLifeToday.com right now and sign up for a Weekend to Remember marriage getaway anywhere you want. You can go to a destination; you can go to your own city. There\u2019s probably one near you. Go for the weekend, Friday [evening] to Sunday [noon]. I\u2019m telling you, you will get a second happy. I can\u2019t guarantee it, but I can almost guarantee it. \r\n\r\nWe\u2019ve literally seen God do miracles. One of the last ones I spoke at, a guy came up and said, \u201cRip up my divorce papers.\u201d They were getting divorced. They were going to the lawyer on Monday, and God showed up, and they started a second happy.\r\n\r\nWe started talking about what we brought in\u2014baggage. \r\n\r\nKevin: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: You talk about this in your book. You have a very interesting chapter called \u201cEvict the Elephant.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: Well, I have to read this, Dave, because I thought it was so interesting. You\u2019re saying: \u201cIf a couple really wants their marriage to be all they want it to be, and ultimately all God intends it to be, they need to do what a lot of couples are hesitant to do. They need to learn how to address and evict the elephants in their marriage.\u201d \r\n\r\nNow, I didn\u2019t think that\u2019s what you were going to say. [Laughter] \u201cEvict the elephants? What!? What in the world is that?\u201d What is that?\r\n\r\nKevin: Well, everybody\u2019s probably heard the phrase, \u201cThere\u2019s an elephant in the room.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: All that means is, if we\u2019re sitting here together, and an elephant walked in and sat down on the couch, and nobody reacted\u2014we treated it like that\u2019s normal, it would be so bizarre that it would put the whole room in pretense.\r\n\r\nAnn: Right.\r\n\r\nKevin: We\u2019re not admitting the truth. Something odd, something dysfunctional is in the room. Then, of course, the elephant\u2019s eventually going to do his business, and that gets left in the room. [Laughter] If you don\u2019t acknowledge the elephant, you don\u2019t acknowledge the mess they make either. So, you end up living in pretense. \r\n\r\nPretense, we discovered\u2014really, I learned it in the way I grew up, because we all bring a little baggage or a lot from our families of origin.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, we bring many elephants into the marriage.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Exactly.\r\n\r\nKevin: I say I brought a herd! [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDave: Yes. \r\n\r\nKevin: And it was some time before I could see the elephant, to be honest. I didn\u2019t know all the time what was creating the conflict, and what had we ignored, and what baggage did we bring?\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes; what do you mean by that \u201cpretense?\u201d\r\n\r\nKevin: Well, let me give an illustration that leads into our family. I\u2019ll do it from family of origin. Let me start. My parents got married in high school\u2014[got] pregnant, left high school, didn\u2019t finish; got married. Dad wasn\u2019t highly motivated, so, they lived poor. I was number three, and they were twenty years old when they had me: three kids, twenty, poor, uneducated; no high school graduation. \r\n\r\nThey came to faith in Christ three years later. But my dad had all sorts of baggage, so we lived one way at home and one way at church, and we were at the center of the church as a family. It was a smaller church of 100-200 people. And my dad was a spiritual leader in the church and leading a completely different life at home; two different lives. \r\n\r\nWhen we went to church, there were times he would say, \u201cStraighten up. We\u2019re at church!\u201d Which means you don\u2019t bring the truth of what\u2019s going on at home to church. \u201cWe don\u2019t tell the truth,\u201d so we live in pretense; and pretense ruined my life. Eventually, they divorced, and my two older brothers and my dad left. I\u2019m left with Mom and my younger sister. I mean, you can\u2019t do that to a 12-year-old boy and not unravel his life. Baggage comes with that; wounds come with that; emotional dysfunction. \r\n\r\nNo family is perfect, so every family has dysfunction; but those are the things that undo the quality of companionship. You can\u2019t get to an experiential oneness unless you travel through pretense, unless you\u2019re honest about the elephants in the room and begin to evict them. Sometimes, you don\u2019t even know what they are. So, that\u2019s what we mean by the framework for the conversation.\r\n\r\nAnn: Marcia, did you have any elephants?  Marcia: Yes, I would say that I did. We laugh, because my family was far more consistent\u2014Christian\u2014pretty much [what they] showed me both at home and at church was the same. But I think partly I, maybe, got a little self-righteous just because I thought: \u201cWell, our family\u2019s perfect,\u201d and \u201cWe\u2019re perfect, and I can show you how to be perfect,\u201d you know?\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nMarcia: \u201cThey did it the right way; therefore, what I do is the right way as well.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: You had a sense of pride.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Yes, I would say. Wouldn\u2019t you say that was probably it (more)? \r\n\r\nKevin: Yes; and that was a breakthrough for us.\r\n\r\nDave: Kevin said that pretty quick. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nMarcia: He did, didn\u2019t he?\r\n\r\nDave: Yes. \r\n\r\nKevin: I\u2019m telling you, it was a major breakthrough,\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014to discover that and admit it?\r\n\r\nKevin: \u2014because she wasn\u2019t wrong. She wasn\u2019t wrong. She grew up that way. But just because you live better, the moment it goes to self-righteous, it\u2019s undoing, and off-putting, and distancing. Well, kudos for her, because she eventually had the courage to see it, own it, and identify it before I ever could.\r\n\r\nMarcia: I think, just in relationships, you both come from a different place. When you get married, you\u2019re marrying a whole bunch of things! Some of them are good, and some of them aren\u2019t so good. But I notice that people always want their traditions to come into the marriage and not the other person\u2019s traditions. \u201cMy family was right, and your family was wrong.\u201d When, actually, it\u2019s more like a lot of times they\u2019re just different. We have to decide how to blend them together. \r\n\r\nDave: [Laughter] I\u2019m laughing, because I married the same woman. \r\n\r\nMarcia: Yes! [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019m like, \u201cAre you not going, \u2018Wow, that is it\u2019?\u201d  \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: I mean, I remember you saying, as a little girl\u2014and they have a great family. Her dad was my high school baseball coach.\r\n\r\nAnn: We didn\u2019t grow up with faith, but they were just good people.\r\n\r\nKevin and Marcia: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, they were really good. In our city\u2014it was a town of about 40,000\u2014they were known as the family. \u201cYou want to be like the Barons.\u201d \r\n\r\nI had all kinds of elephants. They were standing up in the room, from alcohol, to adultery, to girlfriends, to abuse; it\u2019s all there. Then her family really was a model, but it became a problem in our marriage.\r\n\r\nAnn: But I also had sexual abuse in my family.\r\n\r\nDave: That\u2019s the secret.\r\n\r\nAnn: But I didn\u2019t know that was even an elephant. I thought\u2014\r\n\r\nMarcia: \u2014yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: \u2014there you go.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014I just thought, \u201cIt\u2019s in the other room. It\u2019s not in this room.\u201d \r\n\r\nKevin and Marcia: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: And it was in the room, stinking, all the time.\r\n\r\nKevin: Yes.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Interesting.\r\n\r\nDave: What do you do when you start to identify, \u201cWe\u2019ve got some elephants?\u201d I love your cartoon. \r\n\r\nKevin: Isn\u2019t that amazing?!\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes, read it, Dave.\r\n\r\nDave: No, tell them it. \r\n\r\nKevin: We put\u2014you have the stick-figure families on the back of cars and, sometimes, you have the pets with them.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes; on the window, the stickers.\r\n\r\nKevin: \u2014on the window, yes. \r\n\r\nMarcia: \u2014the mom, and the dad, and the kids.\r\n\r\nKevin: \u2014the little white sticker on the back, with the mom, the dad, the kids. How many kids and then, whatever\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes\u2014maybe the soccer ball.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Yes, yes, yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: \u2014so, what\u2019s your sport? How many [kids]? And whatever\u2014your pets. You\u2019ve got a little dog, a little cat\u2014whatever. \r\n\r\nWe put a family of four\u2014a stick figure dad, mom, two kids\u2014and then, we put an elephant. [Laughter] What we were really saying is this: \u201cIf you embrace the elephant as a family pet\u201d\u2014here\u2019s what you have to care about, Dave\u2014\u201cyou\u2019re not going to do anything to evict an elephant until you understand what eventually will be destroyed because of the elephant.\u201d \r\n\r\nIf you don\u2019t take the life of King David in the Old Testament, who decided, at a certain point of success, that he wasn\u2019t going to go back out to battle. [He] sends everybody else, ends up in an affair; hides it\u2014welcome to the elephant in the room.\r\n\r\nDave and Marcia: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: Then indirectly, but by his own hand, really, murders the husband; marries her; has the kid. What did he begin to do? Pretense, pretense, pretense. \r\n\r\nThen, later on, when his own sons did the same kind of thing\u2014I won\u2019t get into the long story about Amnon with Tamar and his other son, Absalom; all of it\u2014there\u2019s pretense. And then, David covers it up and does nothing about that. David\u2019s greatest sorrow was what broke between [him] and Absalom, and it was because a family let the elephants become the family pet. \r\n\r\nMarcia: Right.\r\n\r\nKevin: The moment you realize the destruction of elephants in the room, you\u2019ll have the courage to evict them. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes, that\u2019s good.\r\n\r\nKevin: Wherever you are in your marriage or family, everybody brings some baggage; everybody brings some elephants with them. If you don\u2019t address those and evict them, it eventually will be the source of great damage.\r\n\r\nDave: Whatever elephant you\u2019re struggling with\u2014it could be sin; it could just be generational in your family\u2014you\u2019ve got to understand [that] what you just shared is going to go down. I\u2019m thinking of a mom and dad listening right now. I just want to remind you: what you\u2019re struggling with in the dark, and you think, \u201cNobody will ever find out\u2014\u201d They may never find out, but I\u2019m telling you, even as an older dad and, now, a grandfather, that sin goes into your family, even though it\u2019s private. \r\n\r\nMarcia: Yes, it\u2019s so true.\r\n\r\nDave: You start to see your sons and daughters: \u201cThey\u2019re struggling with what I\u2019m struggling with, and they don\u2019t even know that\u2019s my struggle.\u201d \r\n\r\nKevin: That is correct.\r\n\r\nDave: I can see it, and it\u2019s like, then, the elephant becomes\u2014nobody\u2019s going to talk about it. \u201cI\u2019m not going to tell them,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m not going to let them\u2014\u201d \r\n\r\nYou have to, right, not only talk about it but then, evict it? You\u2019ve got to start with: \u201cWhat\u2019s the elephant?\u201d right?\r\n\r\nMarcia: Absolutely.\r\n\r\nKevin: And when you don\u2019t talk about it, Dave, that\u2019s when you adopt it. \r\n\r\nDave: Oooh.\r\n\r\nKevin: See, the moment you decided not to talk about it, you adopted it as the family pet. Even if you put it in the closet, it\u2019s still there. \r\n\r\nDave: Wow!\r\n\r\nKevin: You\u2019ve now adopted it. You might as well put it on the back of your car with the rest of your family picture and say, \u201cWell, we\u2019ve got elephants, and we just embrace them.\u201d [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: The destruction that comes down the road is horrific.\r\n\r\nAnn: How did you guys address the elephant? What did that look like? \r\n\r\nKevin: Oh, my! [Laughter] So many, obviously.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Right, exactly. \r\n\r\nKevin: And I brought the majority of elephants. I, eventually, was able to own that. I was eventually able to say, \u201cAlright, we have so much baggage; so many elephants,\u201d and we started with one of mine. \r\n\r\nHere\u2019s what we discovered: when one has the courage to confess there\u2019s an elephant\u2014so, you can\u2019t evict it until you admit it\u2019s in the room. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: So, you say, \u201cWhat do you do?\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cOkay. Look around. Admit it\u2019s in the room.\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cWhat if there are 20 elephants?\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cPick one! Any one will do. [Laughter] Pick the smallest elephant and say, \u2018You know, we have an elephant in the room.\u2019\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: The least painful one, yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: Yes, that: \u201cWe can at least deal with the baby elephant.\u201d Confess it. And when you do, begin to work through it. \r\n\r\nAnyhow, when we did\u2014why don\u2019t we illustrate?\r\n\r\nMarcia: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: Why don\u2019t we talk about the difficulty? We had two children. In the communication process of navigating conflict, we talk about fair fights. The first section is \u201ccommunication. The second section is \u201ccompromise.\u201d And then, the third is \u201ccounseling,\u201d and that\u2019s when you can\u2019t get through it. Many times, you can\u2019t get through conflict and get to resolution because you have elephants. I\u2019m going to put that in a package, so people understand that we, eventually, had one thing we couldn\u2019t get through.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Right. We had two kids, a boy and a girl. Kevin was like, \u201cThis is great. I\u2019ve got a boy. I\u2019ve got a girl. I\u2019m done.\u201d I, on the other hand, was like, \u201cWell, I grew up in a really big family. I love being a mom. I don\u2019t think I\u2019m done at two.\u201d That was the conflict. \r\n\r\nFor years, really, we went back and forth. We would put it under the table for a while, like it wasn\u2019t there. Every once in a while, we\u2019d check back in: \u201cI still want one.\u201d He\u2019d be like, \u201cI still don\u2019t want one.\u201d So, there was a constant back and forth that way.\r\n\r\nKevin: Yes. We ended up going to friends\u2014processing with friends\u2014and eventually, we went to a counselor. The counselor said, \u201cYou\u2019re afraid of having more kids, because you\u2019re going to fail like your father.\u201d The next word out of my mouth was an expletive that pastors don\u2019t use, and we left.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014because you were mad.\r\n\r\nMarcia: He was mad. He [the counselor] just cut right down to it.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: He had just said, \u201cThere\u2019s an elephant in the room.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: You literally just got up and walked out.\r\n\r\nKevin: Yes, we were done.\r\n\r\nMarcia: We never went back.\r\n\r\nKevin: We never went back.\r\n\r\nDave: Oh, you never went back?\r\n\r\nMarcia: No.\r\n\r\nKevin: Never; but what I realized is, I had seen all my father\u2019s elephants, but I didn\u2019t know how to see my own. I\u2019m not willing to have a third [child], because I\u2019m not even succeeding with two, and I can\u2019t trust God to help us with three, financially, emotionally or relationally. If we\u2019re struggling with two\u2014more than she knows I\u2019m struggling, [because] I\u2019m not telling her. \r\n\r\nDave and Ann: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: A whole bunch of us have issues that come from the wounds of our past that make decisions in the present that nobody knows are influencing the decisions.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Right.\r\n\r\nKevin: If you don\u2019t acknowledge the elephant, you don\u2019t know what\u2019s influencing the decision. \r\n\r\nI had to begin to say, \u201cLook, I\u2019m concerned about this.\u201d And then, her elephant in the room was finance. She came from a financially stable home; I came from wreckage. We had already gone through bankruptcy, growing up, more than once. We were poor\u2014government subsidized housing; food stamps when I was in high school\u2014I mean, there is something in me that gets affected by that. And now, we\u2019re planting a church, it\u2019s not working; we have two children, and she wants another one. \u201cWhat is wrong with you?\u201d\r\n\r\nMarcia: I was like, \u201cWell, I mean, we always had enough.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: You\u2019re thinking, \u201cWe\u2019re going to trust Jesus.\u201d \r\n\r\nMarcia: Yes, exactly!\r\n\r\nAnn: That\u2019s what I would have said. \r\n\r\nMarcia: \u201cWhy worry about it?\u201d\r\n\r\nKevin: I love that answer. \r\n\r\nMarcia: I mean, we got into trouble every once in a while, but we always worked it out, you know? \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nMarcia: I mean, \u201cWe\u2019re not going to starve to death. It\u2019s going to be fine.\u201d \r\n\r\nBut I had to come to grips. What we had decided, if we\u2019re going to go forward\u2014and there\u2019s a whole other thing about how we came to that decision, but we finally decided that we would have another one, but we had to make an agreement. So, the agreement\u2014part of it\u2014was that I was going to take over the finances, because he didn\u2019t want to do it anymore. I was like, \u201cOh, I can do this! This is going to be so easy.\u201d \r\n\r\nDave: \u201cThis is awesome.\u201d\r\n\r\nMarcia: \u201cI cannot wait to show him how to do a budget.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Well, I was so wrong. I made such a mess of it. There wasn\u2019t enough money. I thought we would be able to save, but it truly was difficult. He wasn\u2019t wrong about that. \r\n\r\nAnn: He had something to be fearful about.\r\n\r\nMarcia: He had something to be fearful about, exactly. Once I figured that out, I was like, \u201cOh, I am putting pressure on him,\u201d especially when you know that, when you have a third child, you\u2019re probably going to get a bigger car, and you\u2019re going to want a bigger house. I\u2019m going to want all these things, and I\u2019m going to just think they should appear. \r\n\r\nWe kind of came to the realization that: \u201cWe\u2019re going to stay where we are. I\u2019m not going to ask you for a new house or a new car, but I am going to get what I really want, which is another child.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: That was your compromise.\r\n\r\nKevin: Yes.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Yes.\r\n\r\nKevin: Her work world shifted, and she\u2019s going to stay home, and be with the three, and we\u2019re going to live on whatever we make, and we\u2019re not going to put pressure on the church. \r\n\r\nMarcia: Right.\r\n\r\nKevin: Because that\u2019s what happens a lot. People get mad at the church; pastors get mad at the church or whatever the case might be. People do it in their own business. They get frustrated. Somebody feels the pressure. \r\n\r\nWe\u2019re making this sound fast, but this took some time to navigate and confess what was affecting the decision. I had mine; she had hers. I think hers was finance. Mine was all the emotional risk, and what it took to trust God to provide and navigate that. We came to the other side by evicting these elephants.\r\n\r\nDave: Addressing them was the hardest thing ever; evicting them was even harder. And yet, here\u2019s our story\u2014and I know yours is exactly the same: you didn\u2019t only have one more child; you had two. [Laughter] So, God blessed in an amazing way. \r\n\r\nThe only way you get to the second happy, where you get to what you\u2019re hoping it would be at the beginning, is with the gospel. There\u2019s no other way.\r\n\r\nKevin: There is no other way.\r\n\r\nDave: Jesus meets you. He creates environments where the elephants appear, and He says, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to deal with this,\u201d and then He gives you the power to deal with it. \r\n\r\nI actually got to the point where I could experience forgiveness in my life toward the elephants, toward the sin that was generational in my family. God redeemed it, and now, He uses it to help others, like He\u2019s using you and your book and your process. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nMarcia: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: The things you went through, and the things you were able to deal with, are now a blessing to others. \r\n\r\nI know there\u2019s a couple listening, saying, \u201cWe can\u2019t get there.\u201d Yes, you can. You can\u2019t without Jesus, but you can if you\u2019re willing to surrender. \r\n\r\nMarcia: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: Again, you can\u2019t surrender your spouse; you can only surrender you, but if you\u2019re willing to say, \u201cI will surrender,\u201d and start the journey to the second happy, He will get you there. He really will. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nMarcia: That\u2019s right.\r\n\r\nDave: Today\u2019s the day to start.\r\n\r\nShelby: I have found that neediness in the Christian life is actually a good thing. Now, I don\u2019t know of anyone who would say that they want to be more needy, but this is exactly what God calls us to in Scripture, because it\u2019s in our recognition of neediness and our cry for help that the Lord truly shows up and makes lasting change. \r\n\r\nSo, like Dave was saying just now, call out to God for help and wait for Him to change you and, consequently, change all your other relationships, including your marriage. Such great wisdom today!\r\n\r\nI\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Kevin and Marcia Myers on FamilyLife Today. Kevin and Marcia have written a book called The Second Happy: Seven Practices to Make Your Marriage Better than Your Honeymoon. That\u2019s quite the promise, and I know they deliver.\r\n\r\nThis book is going to be available to you by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com and clicking on the \u201cToday\u2019s Resources\u201d link, or you can get the link in the show notes. Or you can give us a call at 800-358-6329; again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d And feel free to drop us something in the mail if you\u2019d like to. Our address is FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, FL 32832.\r\n\r\nNow, of course, as we\u2019ve been talking about today, and over the last three days here, marriage takes work! You can ask anybody. Ask your parents; ask your pastor; ask any couple you know. Great marriages don\u2019t just happen. At FamilyLife\u2019s Weekend to Remember marriage getaway, you and your spouse really get the time to intentionally grow with one another. You may have already heard that Weekend to Remember is now 50% off through January 22nd, but I wanted to tell you as well that our Weekend to Remember gift cards are also 50% off. \r\n\r\nIt can sometimes be hard to choose where you want to go right now, so a gift card can allow you to buy now and then register for your location later on. Also, when you\u2019ve heard about a Weekend to Remember marriage getaway, you may have another couple in mind. These gift cards really make great gifts to give to those couples. All of that is half-off now through January 22nd. You can head over to WeekendtoRemember.com and grab a gift card right now.\r\n\r\nNow, coming up tomorrow, a lot of us think that theology, or studying theology, is kind of boring; but we are worshipers of God. Kelly Kapic is going to be here to help us talk about practical theology, in daily life, that is not boring. That\u2019s coming up tomorrow. We hope you\u2019ll join us.\r\n\r\nOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?  Copyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife                                 \r\n\r\n\n","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/280356","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=280356"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280866"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=280356"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=280356"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=280356"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=280356"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=280356"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=280356"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}