{"id":280277,"date":"2024-05-02T04:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-05-02T08:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/finding-beauty-in-the-boundaries-sara-hagerty\/"},"modified":"2024-11-19T04:15:14","modified_gmt":"2024-11-19T09:15:14","slug":"finding-beauty-in-the-boundaries-sara-hagerty","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-beauty-in-the-boundaries-sara-hagerty\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding Beauty in the Boundaries: Sara Hagerty"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Do you ever feel like it&#8217;s just&#8230; too much? Laundry piles up, bills keep coming, and your schedules overflow. Well, Sara Hagerty gets it. Once struggling with infertility, adoption, and yeah, now she&#8217;s raising seven kids! She encourages us on finding purpose in the unexpected twists of life, even with our limited time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Sara Hagerty, who&#8217;s been through infertility, adoption, and raising seven kids, encourages you to find purpose in life&#8217;s twists.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280865,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/7a642125-705e-432f-a39b-b15c0104b0b6\/audio.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:33:44","filesize":"30.92M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2024-05-02 04:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[],"tags":[2128],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3331],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-280277","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-struggling-with-infertility","cwp_profile-sara-hagerty","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/280277\/finding-beauty-in-the-boundaries-sara-hagerty","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/280277\/finding-beauty-in-the-boundaries-sara-hagerty","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"vcyCCYo6p7\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-beauty-in-the-boundaries-sara-hagerty\/\">Finding Beauty in the Boundaries: Sara Hagerty<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-beauty-in-the-boundaries-sara-hagerty\/embed\/#?secret=vcyCCYo6p7\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Finding Beauty in the Boundaries: Sara Hagerty&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"vcyCCYo6p7\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg",1024,1024,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Margaret","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coylefamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Sara Hagerty, who's been through infertility, adoption, and raising seven kids, encourages you to find purpose in life's twists.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"\n<ul>\n<li>Connect with Sara Hagerty and catch more of her thoughts at <a href=\"http:\/\/sarahagerty.net\/\">sarahagerty.net<\/a>, and on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sarahagertywrites\">Facebook<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/sarahagertywrites\/\">Instagram<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/SaraHagerty\">Twitter<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>And grab Sara\u2019s book, <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/the-gift-of-limitations-finding-beauty-in-your-boundaries\"><em>The Gift of Limitation: Finding Beauty in the Boundaries<\/em><\/a>\u00a0in our shop.<\/li>\n<li>Intrigued by today\u2019s episode? Think deeper about Grief by listening to \"<a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-blended-minute\/stages-of-grief\/\">Stages of Grief<\/a>\".<\/li>\n<li>Want to hear more episodes by Sara Hagerty, listen <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/guest\/Sara-Hagerty\/\">here<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/may-2024\/?cru_source=D0002405RB&cru_medium=RadioBanner&cru_premium=PRE21802&cru_campaign=May2024&utm_source=web&utm_medium=radiobanner&utm_campaign=may2024\">Meet your match!<\/a> Every donation made through May will be matched dollar for dollar, up to $300,000. As a token of our gratitude for partnering with us to support stronger families worldwide, we'll send you Neighborhoods Reimagined by Chris and Elizabeth McKinney. Donate today and double your impact!<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-05-02.pdf","transcript_content":"\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript\r\n\r\nReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.\r\n\r\nFinding Beauty in the Boundaries\r\n\r\nGuest:Sara Hagerty\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Finding Beauty in the Boundaries (Day 1 of 2)\r\n\r\nAir date:May 2, 2024\r\n\r\nSara: It\u2019s okay on a day where I\u2019m tripping over the boots, I can\u2019t find another sock, the kid\u2019s having a meltdown, and I\u2019m going, \u201cLord, it is really hard to mother seven kids.\u201d He doesn\u2019t see me as having a tantrum; He actually just wants to be with me in that moment. We grieve it [that moment]; and in the grieving, I think then, there is a resurrection. There\u2019s a time and a place where God says, \u201cWell, that was the dream for your life, but I actually have different dreams, and they\u2019re better.\u201d\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nShelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today.\r\n\r\nDave: Here\u2019s what I\u2019m thinking about today. This thought just came to me: \u201cIf we had seven kids, would we have survived?\u201d Seven kids! [Laughter]\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes, I think we\u2019d survive. I don\u2019t know if we\u2019d still be married. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDave: That\u2019s what I wondered! [Laughter] The laughter you\u2019re hearing is the woman who has seven kids, Sara.\r\n\r\nSara: And I\u2019m still married! [Laughter]\r\n\r\nAnn: Yay! [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDave: You\u2019re still married.\r\n\r\nAnn: That\u2019s why we have you on.\r\n\r\nSara: And I love him! Yes, that\u2019s right.\r\n\r\nAnn: You love him.\r\n\r\nDave: Sara Hagerty is with us. How many years married?\r\n\r\nSara: Twenty-two; almost twenty-three. You know those years. They test all. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDave: It took a while, right?\r\n\r\nSara: It did. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDave: Tell us your family story.\r\n\r\nSara: Well, we had many years of infertility after being married. We just assumed, like everybody else, [that[ you get married; and then, when you want to have kids, you have kids. But that wasn\u2019t in the story for us. \r\n\r\nWe had wanted to adopt, but we thought we\u2019d have biological children first and then, adopt. But after many, many, many years of infertility, we started the adoption process. We walked through the adoption process, still asking the Lord to give us biological children. We adopted two from Ethiopia and then\u2014we actually, in Ethiopia, as we were touring the orphanage, there was an older girl, who just looked at me with these eyes, like, \u201cTake me home.\u201d She was giving us a tour of the orphanage when we were there to pick up our semi-younger children.\r\n\r\nAnn: How old was she?\r\n\r\nSara: She was probably nine or ten. She had these eyes, like, \u201cI\u2019m not going home with anybody. Will you take me home?\u201d We came home from Ethiopia after adopting our first two, and I said to my husband, \u201cWe have to go back for her.\u201d \r\n\r\nIt wasn\u2019t actually her that we ended up adopting, but we adopted two more children who were older. Her face is just burned in my brain. There was little hope for her to be adopted, and I just thought of those older children. We went back to Uganda, two years later, and adopted two more. \r\n\r\nAnn: But then\u2014\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014several years after that, it was Valentine\u2019s Day that I discovered I was pregnant, and thought, \u201cWhat in the world?\u201d Everything just changed.\r\n\r\nAnn: Valentine\u2019s Day. What did you feel?\r\n\r\nSara: I think it felt surreal. I had dreamed about it for so long, and then, it was finally there. I thought, \u201cGod, You met me when I didn\u2019t have this.\u201d There\u2019s something about that, when the miracle we\u2019re waiting on comes, and we look back and say, \u201cWhen I didn\u2019t have that, God was so near.\u201d It was so personal to me. I wrote letters to my closest friends, telling them I was pregnant. I couldn\u2019t even tell them. I couldn\u2019t even say the words\u2014it felt that private and near: \u201cI can\u2019t believe all these years you\u2019ve walked alongside me. I\u2019m just going to put a letter in the mailbox, because I don\u2019t think I could actually verbally tell you, \u2018God came through this way\u2026\u2019\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: It was that close to the soul, it sounds like.\r\n\r\nSara: Absolutely. I think we all face this. Now, even in this season, I have these questions of God. I\u2019m on my floor, begging God, \u201cWill You move in this way?\u201d All of us have that some way or another. \r\n\r\nThe moment where He doesn\u2019t come through like we think\u2014I say that with air quotes\u2014in some ways, in my mind, is maybe just as holy as the moment when He does. But we have tangible evidence when He does come through. And that feels holy-other.\r\n\r\nAnn: He always comes through, you\u2019re right\u2014\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014but not in the way that we think. \r\n\r\nAnn: Exactly.\r\n\r\nDave: Talk about that. How is it holy when he doesn\u2019t? Because that\u2019s the struggle.\r\n\r\nSara: That\u2019s really the topic of this book. We fix our eyes on the things we can\u2019t have. We just do. It\u2019s human nature: it\u2019s subtle; it\u2019s in the back of our mind. With seven kids, I\u2019m walking out the door\u2014and I\u2019m old\u2014and I\u2019m walking out the door with my little kids.\r\n\r\nDave: You\u2019re not\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: You are not old.\r\n\r\nDave: You are not old. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nSara: Well, I\u2019m old to have little children.\r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s all relative.\r\n\r\nSara: You\u2019re right; you\u2019re right.\r\n\r\nDave: Okay, you\u2019re older to have\u2014\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014to have young children! \r\n\r\nDave: Yes, yes.\r\n\r\nSara: I\u2019m walking out the door with them, tripping over boots; we can\u2019t find socks. We want to go on this walk, where I\u2019m going to get to experience nature and wonder with them. Another boot is lost in the woods somewhere, and some kid\u2019s crying. And I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019m too old for this. How are we doing this again?\u201d [Laughter] Right?\r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nSara: I\u2019m up to my eyeballs in kids. I can, in my mind\u2019s eye, see: how ironic that, all these years after my infertility, I say, \u201cWhen am I going to come up for air?\u201d I keep my eyes over the fence line; meaning, the fence around my yard: \u201cWhen am I going to get a break? When are these limitations going to lift?\u201d \r\n\r\nAnd yet, I think there\u2019s something that God has for us who are waiting in the waiting. There\u2019s something God has for us, who are limited\u2014whether physically, or in our marriage, or with children, or without children, or taking care of a sick parent, or taking care of a sick kid that isn\u2019t: \u201cLet\u2019s grit your teeth until this is over.\u201d [Whispering] \"I actually have words and whispers for you right now, when it\u2019s not lifting.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: You\u2019re traveling; you\u2019re speaking; you\u2019re around women. What do you think some of the main ones are? You named a lot of those.\r\n\r\nSara: I think there\u2019s a lot of ache in marriages\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014Me, too.\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014a lot of ache in: \u201cHe\u2019s not who I thought he was,\u201d or \u201cThis isn\u2019t coming together like I thought,\u201d or \u201cWe\u2019re not connecting emotionally.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014and, \u201cMy kids\u2014\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014notice it is all women saying, \u201cHe is not who I thought he was.\u201d\r\n\r\nSara: Well, she asked \u201cwomen,\u201d so\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014yes.\r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019m kidding.\r\n\r\nSara: I think men are probably saying the same thing!\r\n\r\nAnn: I want to ask you what the men are\u2014\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014I\u2019m not having those conversations with men. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes; I think your health, kids who have walked away.\r\n\r\nSara: Kids. Yes, the older you get, watching your kids go through the teenage years and beyond; and if they\u2019re not walking with the Lord. I think health is a big thing. \r\n\r\nAnn: Me, too.\r\n\r\nSara: That\u2019s actually a startling thing, because I think people in my generation, we watched our parents struggle when they got into the older years; but now, we\u2019re seeing friends in their 30s, and even 20s and 40s, struggling with health issues that are chronic. That\u2019s a big thing.\r\n\r\nAnn: And you\u2019ve had a chronic condition.\r\n\r\nSara: You know, after I wrote this book, I actually was diagnosed with Lyme Disease. It was so interesting to go back and reread through the book, and really wonder, \u201cIs the message that I wrote in here going to hold true for this?\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: And \u201cIs it for me?\u201d Like you said\u2014\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014\u201cfor me.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: You\u2019re really living it.\r\n\r\nSara: Yes, I\u2019m living it.\r\n\r\nDave: You\u2019re in it.\r\n\r\nSara: I\u2019m in it, and I read it and felt like, \u201cYou know what, Lord? What You\u2019re telling me:\u201d\u2014I think of one phrase I write about in the book\u2014\u201c\u2019slower still.\u2019\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, I love that.\r\n\r\nSara: A phrase that just comes up in my mind\u2014one of my best friends tells it to me often\u2014is: \u201cJesus\u2019 pace was\u201d\u2014something like, what?\u2014\"three miles an hour or something.\u201d Yet, we live in this world of optimization and finding hacks. We just move way faster than we even realize we\u2019re moving, and yet, I think there\u2019s something of a whisper from God in our limitations, saying, \u201cHey, if you slow down, and are less productive than you think you need to be; less accomplished than you think you need to be; noticing more gaps in your life than you want to have, you might actually find that My presence is very near in the \u2018slower still.\u2019\u201d\r\n\r\nSo, being diagnosed with Lyme Disease was like: \u201cOkay, I\u2019m going to practice this. When I\u2019m in bed, or I have to go to bed early, or I\u2019m fatigued and I can\u2019t do it:\u201d\u2014we\u2019re going on a family vacation; and mom\u2019s upstairs in bed\u2014do I really believe that God likes me? Do I really believe that He has something for my day? Or do I need to grit my teeth through this fatigue and wait until it\u2019s over, so I can really be present in my day?\r\n\r\nAnn: That\u2019s really\u2014I mean, we all face that\u2014\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014everywhere.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014even that question: \u201cGod, do You like me? If You love me,\u201d\u2014we have all of our \u201cwhys?\u201d \u201cWhy have You not healed me still?\u201d \u201cWhy are my kids still disobeying, and they\u2019ve walked away?\u201d \u201cWhy is my marriage still--?\u201d \r\n\r\nI like your sentence of: \u201cWill you love Me still, and follow Me, if this never happens?\u201d \r\n\r\nSara: \u201cIf it never happens?\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: That\u2019s so convicting.\r\n\r\nSara: It is! I think we all would say, \u201cYes!\u201d in a heartbeat; but lived, we, maybe, wouldn\u2019t. Really deep down, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cWhat if You took it all away, God?\u201d You say that; and it\u2019s like, \u201cGo, go, go!\u201d But then, all of us are living small versions of having the Lord delay an answer, or having something we desperately want be elusive to us.\r\n\r\nAnn: But you\u2019re right: we have a choice in those moments, when we\u2019re so desperate\u2014when we can\u2019t get out of bed; when we have no answers, we have that choice of: \u201cI can\u2019t do it apart from You, Jesus.\u201d\r\n\r\nSara: Which is a beautiful thing.\r\n\r\nAnn: It\u2019s beautiful.\r\n\r\nSara: That, really, is the gift in our limitations. We have bought a lie, and fed ourselves a lie, that we\u2019re going to conquer it all. And in many ways, that\u2019s why so many of us are tired. We are bone tired because we\u2019ve been trying to change the world and conquer it all.\r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m tired.\r\n\r\nSara: Yes; me, too! [Laughter]\r\n\r\nDave: That makes three of us.\r\n\r\nSara: Right!\r\n\r\nDave: Part of me wants to ask\u2014even hearing that term, \u201cslower still\u201d\u2014when I read it in your book, it made me stop for a second; and then, I rushed past it. No, I\u2019m kidding! It made me stop because I thought, \u201cI don\u2019t like it; I want it.\u201d \r\n\r\nYou open the book with the fence analogy. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cI like fences to keep people out of my life, but I don\u2019t like fences to keep me in; I want to jump over them; I want to crawl [over].\u201d You talk about, at the beginning, the skid marks on your shins as you\u2019re crawling over the limitations of your life.\r\n\r\nSara: Absolutely.\r\n\r\nDave: How do we get to the place\u201c\u2014you\u2019re there; you\u2019ve walked through that\u2014of when you feel limited, when God\u2019s not letting you jump over that fence or whatever\u2014it could be physical; it could be just there are not advancements going on in your life, or career, or whatever. The DNA of me, and some of us, the American way\u2014we celebrate it. And as an athlete\u2014you\u2019re a runner\u2014\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014yes.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014you don\u2019t slow down; you just push through it\u2014\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014push through.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014push through that quitting point.\r\n\r\nSara: Absolutely.\r\n\r\nDave: \u201cDon\u2019t quit.\u201d If there\u2019s a fence\u2014I\u2019m a football coach\u2014\u201cRun through it; don\u2019t drop the ball.\u201d\r\n\r\nSara: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: But there are times, like you\u2019re saying, it\u2019s: \u201cNo, slower still. It\u2019s a limitation. God wants you right where you are. Rest in that.\u201d How do you do it if you don\u2019t want to do it?\u201d\r\n\r\nSara: Such a good question. I think, in many ways, God is already doing it for so many of us with our circumstances. We\u2019re resenting them, or wishing they would change; and He\u2019s already bringing us there by the circumstances that feel so limiting. \r\n\r\nAs a runner, I think, \u201cIf I ran a race\u2026\u201d; right? There was a local race in Charlottesville, Virginia, I had placed in; this was many years ago, when I could actually place in a race. [Laughter] I wanted to win it the next year, so I got a trainer. I trained to win it. All summer long, in 75-degree heat in the mornings, which was pretty cool for the summer\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014I know this story; this is fascinating.\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014it\u2019s wild! It\u2019s 75-degree heat [for training]. It\u2019s race day. I know the years\u2019 times from years past\u2014this is not a race that\u2019s making it on anybody\u2019s radar; it\u2019s just a local race\u2014but I know the times of the winners from the years past. I have my splits on my hand; I know what I need to do to win the race. \r\n\r\nThat race morning, it\u2019s 85 degrees\u2014which for a runner, that 10-degree difference is not nothing\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014oh, that\u2019s a lot.\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014I hadn\u2019t trained in 85 degrees; we just had an unusually cool summer. \r\n\r\nAs we\u2019re lining up at the starting line, I notice\u2014and there\u2019s some chatter\u2014that there\u2019s some actual Olympic trial-ers who were at that race, who never ran it before. I should have known: \u201cI\u2019m not going to win this race,\u201d right? [Laughter] But I didn\u2019t believe it! \r\n\r\nHere I am\u2014the gun goes off\u2014and I\u2019m looking at my hand, determined for my splits. This heat is slowing me down, but I\u2019m zeroed in on: \u201cI am going to get my splits!\u201d \u201cMy splits\u201d meaning the time for each mile.\r\n\r\nAnn: Right, right.\r\n\r\nSara: \u201cI\u2019m going to win this race.\u201d Not really thinking, \u201cThese women are like so far beyond me:\u201d still trying to keep up with them. My body is giving me all the warning signs to slow down, and I ignore them all, such that I have a heat stroke.\r\n\r\nAnn: No!\r\n\r\nSara: Psychologically, people who have heat strokes are typically people who push past their limits. They just cannot read what their body\u2019s telling them.\r\n\r\nIt became this picture to me of what we do in our lives\u2014your tiredness, your migraines, your stomach aches, your panic attacks\u2014they are telling you a story. Sometimes, that\u2019s even God reaching into your body\u2014could be all the time; I don\u2019t know\u2014God is reaching into your body and speaking to you that message of \u201cslower still.\u201d \r\n\r\nI think there\u2019s a mercy\u2014I hear that, too, and I think, \u201cHow in the world am I going to slow down with seven kids?\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: That\u2019s what I was going to say: the moms listening [will say], \u201cI can\u2019t slow down!\u201d\r\n\r\nSara: \u201cThere\u2019s no way!\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: Right! You feel that.\r\n\r\nSara: Right! But then\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: By the way, the dads feel the same way. [Laughter] You ladies over here; we do the same thing.\r\n\r\nSara: My husband feels that, too.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes, that\u2019s right.\r\n\r\nSara: So, could it be that the circumstances that we keep trying to push past the fence line, and  we keep trying to hurdle, are actually God\u2019s way of saying, \u201cSlower still?\u201d Could it be His way of saying, \u201cI want you to slow down?\u201d Because when we slow, man, there is access to wonder in God; we hear whispers more than we scroll our phone.\r\n\r\nAnn: I like the whispers\u2014that God\u2019s whispering to us\u2014and we can actually hear Him\u2014\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014because the noise is quiet.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014 as He whispers.\r\n\r\nSara: Yes; you\u2019re in bed, sick for a day; could it be that God\u2019s even allowing\u2014I don\u2019t want to get into the theology of sickness\u2014but could it be that God allows that?\r\n\r\nAnn: Right. One of my best friend\u2019s oldest son was diagnosed with cancer when he was nine. Their world just stopped! Talk about [a] slow down. They\u2019re both working\u2014the husband and wife are both working\u2014they have four kids. This is their oldest. \r\n\r\nSara: [Whispering] What a heartache!\r\n\r\nAnn: She said, \u201cThe only place I could go every single night, when he was in the hospital, is I would go into the bathroom of the hospital room and I would lie on the floor and cry out to God, \u201cI can\u2019t do this! I can\u2019t do this! I can\u2019t do this!\u201d She said: \u201cHis presence wrapped me in a way\u201d\u2014she said\u2014\u201cI was still in it, but I had this comfort in the midst of it.\u201d She said, \u201cAll I wanted to do was get out of the situation, begging God to heal him.\u201d It wasn\u2019t looking good, but she\u2019s begging God, \u201cGet me out of this place.\u201d \r\n\r\nMiraculously, this little boy was healed after time; but now, when I talk to her, she says, \u201cAnn, I miss that place of desperation.\u201d She says, \u201cI\u2019m so busy now, flying all over the place; but I was meeting God, face to face, when I couldn\u2019t stand on my own two feet.\u201d \r\n\r\nSara: [Whispering] Wow.\r\n\r\nAnn: That\u2019s kind of what you\u2019re talking about.\r\n\r\nSara: That\u2019s ultimately\u2014I mean, those are the stories we need to hear, because deep down inside the reason we\u2019re killing ourselves is we want a sense of belonging and being known and being seen. But there\u2019s another way to get that which isn\u2019t achievement, and productivity, and having all our goals met, and our kids all well-behaved\u2014not that those things are bad\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014yes\u2014\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014but there is something really powerful in the dream that is thwarted, and God saying, \u201cI just want to hold you.\u201d But we don\u2019t really asked to be held when we\u2019re accomplishing all our dreams.\r\n\r\nAnn: We\u2019re too busy running. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nSara: Yes, that\u2019s right!\r\n\r\nDave: We want the feeling of being held without the pain.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes!\r\n\r\nSara: That\u2019s exactly right.\r\n\r\nDave: We just don\u2019t want the pain. When you\u2014and I want to have you talk about the \u201ccome,\u201d \u201cdie,\u201d \u201cgrieve,\u201d \u201clive.\u201d\r\n\r\nSara: Yes, I think we Christians are master pain avoiders. [Laughter] If we\u2019re honest, it\u2019s like we want to do everything.\r\n\r\nAnn: I think the world is; everybody is.\r\n\r\nSara: Yes! We just have our own flavor of it, right, as Christians?\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nSara: The world is. I think there is an invitation, with our limitations, not only to name them\u2014a lot of times, we react to them;\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014oh, name them.\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014we resent them. We\u2019re snapping at our spouse and our kids, but really, underneath it all, we\u2019re just frustrated with the things that are limiting us.\r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nSara: But then, I think the other step is we, as pain-avoiders, actually give ourselves permission to grieve them. That can feel really counter and wrong to us. I think we want to skip steps and tell ourselves the good news at the end of it; when in reality, God gave us lanes for our emotions in the Psalms. Psalm 22: \u201cMy God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?\u201d The exact words Jesus used on the cross. There was a Friday death and a Saturday darkness before Sunday\u2019s resurrection. \r\n\r\nThere is something powerful to, I think, taking that and applying it to our own lives, saying, \u201cThere are things that God is inviting me to die to. If we lose our lives for Him\u2014\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014yes.\r\n\r\nSara: There are things He\u2019s inviting me to die to\u2014not just to keep clinging to and interceding for: \u201cThey\u2019ve got to change! They\u2019ve got to change.\u201d\u2014to maybe just accept they\u2019re not changing. \r\n\r\nAnn: Oh, this is so true for marriage, too. \r\n\r\nSara: Absolutely! \r\n\r\nAnn: I mean, just living for the day he will change, or come to know Jesus, or lead in the way that we hold for.\r\n\r\nSara: Sending out the crisis prayer text: \u201cPray for my husband: x, y, z.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes, yes.\r\n\r\nSara: Some of that\u2014I mean, how many years in\u2014some of those things are never going to change.\r\n\r\nAnn: And your question at the beginning: \u201cWill you still love Jesus (God)?\u201d\u2014\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014\u201cif they never do [change].\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes.\r\n\r\nSara: And \u201cWill I still love him?\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Exactly! That\u2019s a big question.\r\n\r\nSara: \u201cIf he\u2019s still doing that thing that drives me crazy? And he knows it; we\u2019ve talked about this 267 times.\u201d [Laughter] And you don\u2019t know: \u201cOh, shoot! Now, you remember!\u201d [Laughter] \u201cCan I accept: \u2018This is the whole package? This is who I married\u2019?\u201d\r\n\r\nIn a similar way, in my own life, in marriage and also separate from marriage: \u201cCan I accept those things?\u201d\u2014which I think, in some ways, is holy Saturday. \u201cI\u2019m dying to them. Can I grieve them on that day? Can I grieve them for a period of time and say, \u2018This is hard.\u2019\u201d \r\n\r\nI think, sometimes, we don\u2019t want to do that because we feel like we\u2019re just little kids, throwing tantrums. God knows our heart. It\u2019s okay, on a day where I\u2019m tripping over the boots; I can\u2019t find another sock; the kid\u2019s having a meltdown, and I\u2019m saying, \u201cLord, it is really hard to mother seven kids.\u201d He doesn\u2019t see me as having a tantrum; He actually just wants to be with me in that moment. \r\n\r\nSo, we grieve it [that moment]; and in the grieving, I think then, there is a resurrection. There\u2019s a time and a place where God says: \u201cWell, that was the dream for your life; but I actually have different dreams, and they\u2019re better.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: I was going to say, \u201c\u2026and they\u2019re better.\u201d\r\n\r\nSara: They are better.\r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m so glad that God didn\u2019t listen to some of the dreams that I had, that I thought would fulfil me, because God\u2019s dreams are way, way better. But in the midst of that, we walk some hard spots\u2014\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014oh, absolutely; yes!\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014with our marriage and with things; but that peace of continually surrendering it and laying it down\u2014that\u2019s not easy.\r\n\r\nSara: And grieving it with Him. \r\n\r\nAnn: And grieving it.\r\n\r\nSara: And I even think, in our family, with the challenges with our children, my husband says to me often: \u201cYou would not be the Sara you are today without those kids, because they\u2019ve shaped you.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: They have shaped you, yes.\r\n\r\nSara: You thought you were going to change the world, and they changed you. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nAnn: I say that to every young mom! \u201cOh, you think you\u2019re going to change them? God\u2019s going to use them to shape you\u2014\"\r\n\r\nSara: \u2014that\u2019s so right.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014\u201cin a magnificent way if you\u2019ll let Him.\u201d\r\n\r\nSara: You\u2019re so right.\r\n\r\nShelby: We\u2019re going to hear more in just a second from Dave, with some encouragement on how to practically apply what we\u2019ve heard today; but first, limitations, to me, have always felt like something I\u2019ve needed to move past or kind of bust through. Very rarely have I considered that \u201cthe boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places\u201d and [that] God has put them there for the purpose of allowing me to flourish within them, not always looking for ways to break them down and move beyond them. \r\n\r\nI\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Sara Hagerty on FamilyLife Today. I\u2019ve loved this conversation. Sara has written a book that is directly related to this conversation. It\u2019s called The Gift of Limitation: Finding Beauty in the Boundaries. Full disclosure: I\u2019m actually reading this book right now. It is a really challenging and very helpful book for someone specifically like me. If you\u2019re like me, you have trouble with the limitations; you have trouble with looking at the fences in your life and longing for something different than what you\u2019re currently experiencing. \r\n\r\nIt\u2019s a narrative-driven book. Sara shares a lot of stories in it about her own personal experiences, but also, gives great and godly insight on how to appropriately look at your limitations and really be appreciative of how God has ordered your life. You can get your copy right now by going to the show notes at FamilyLifeToday.com. Or you can give us a call at 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \r\n\r\nIt is officially the month of May as of yesterday\u2014it was May 1st; today is May 2nd. That means that, when you partner with FamilyLife\u00ae\u2014when you become a FamilyLife partner, we have had some very generous donors give to the ministry of FamilyLife [so] that, when you give any amount, it is going to be matched, dollar-for-dollar, up to $500,000. That means, if you give a gift of $100, for example, it is actually going to be made into $200. That [also] means, if you become a monthly partner and give $50 a month for a whole year, it\u2019s actually going to be $100 a month. This is a beautiful opportunity to make your donation double and have two times the impact. You can find out more about becoming a monthly partner in the show notes at FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\nNow, when you do give, we\u2019re going to send you, as a \u201cthank you,\u201d a book by Chris and Elizabeth McKinney called Neighborhoods Reimagined. It\u2019s a small way of saying, \u201cthank you\u201d to you for partnering with us in the ministry of FamilyLife and making this ministry possible to help reach more families and marriages. Again, you can find out more by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\n. \r\n\r\nAnd if you know anyone who needs to hear conversations like the one you heard today, would you share this episode of FamilyLife Today from wherever you get your podcasts? And while you\u2019re there, it could really help others learn more about the ministry of FamilyLife Today by leaving us a review. \r\n\r\nAlright, now, let\u2019s hear more from Dave Wilson about some practical ways to apply exactly what you\u2019ve heard today.\r\n\r\nDave: I think, as we wrap up, I would say, I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever named the limitations. I would encourage the listener to take a moment\u2014be still, slower still\u2014get out your phone, or whatever you\u2019re going to use to do it\u2014maybe, a piece of paper\u2014because your phone will probably have a text come in or email\u2014[Laughter]\u2014and your mind will rush off. \r\n\r\nBut get quiet and say, \u201cWhat are things I really wanted that aren\u2019t ever going to happen, and that\u2019s okay?\u201d Because that\u2019s almost a courageous thing, because even at this age, there\u2019s still: \u201cOh, I can still\u2014\u201d It\u2019s like, \u201cNo, those dreams aren\u2019t\u2014they weren\u2019t even good dreams.\u201d God put a fence there, and said, \u201cNo, it\u2019s better that you don\u2019t have that.\u201d Name that.\r\n\r\nAnn: I like the naming it.\r\n\r\nDave: And then, live\u2014live free\u2014in it. I don\u2019t know what that would look like, but that would be a healthy exercise. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes, I like that. I also like the idea of saying to God, \u201cEven if You don\u2019t change the situation, I will love You; I will follow You; I will trust You. I might not feel like it, but I will be obedient and follow You anywhere You take me.\u201d Those are hard things to say.\r\n\r\nSara: [Whispering] Very hard.\r\n\r\nShelby: Now, tomorrow, what\u2019s the point in finding the significance of grieving our limitations and finding purpose in difficult situations? Well, Sara Hagerty is back with Dave and Ann Wilson to talk about just that. We hope you\u2019ll join us tomorrow. \r\n\r\nOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?  \r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife                                 \r\n\r\n\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/280277","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=280277"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280865"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=280277"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=280277"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=280277"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=280277"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=280277"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=280277"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}