{"id":280274,"date":"2024-05-09T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-05-09T13:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/risen-motherhood-prioritizing-marriage-emily-jensen-laura-wifler\/"},"modified":"2025-04-30T11:25:30","modified_gmt":"2025-04-30T15:25:30","slug":"risen-motherhood-prioritizing-marriage-emily-jensen-laura-wifler","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/risen-motherhood-prioritizing-marriage-emily-jensen-laura-wifler\/","title":{"rendered":"Risen Motherhood: Prioritizing Marriage: Emily Jensen &#038; Laura Wifler"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Parenting pulling you in a million directions? Between a crowded calendar, your inbox, and never-ending laundry, finding time for your spouse can feel like a daily challenge. Emily Jensen and Laura Wifler, Co-Founders of the Risen Motherhood Podcast, chat about the importance of believing in your spouse, showing compassion, and finding fun ways to stay connected.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Parenting can be overwhelming. Emily Jensen and Laura Wifler share tips for balancing parenting while maintaining your connection with your spouse.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280865,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/c857f3ef-5ce3-49d5-b617-b1620160fc6c\/audio.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:29:13","filesize":"26.79M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2024-05-09 09:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[],"tags":[2125],"podcast_series":[8756],"cwp_profile":[10886,9933],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-280274","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-tired-moms","podcast_series-sunday-faith-to-monday-tantrum-emily-jenson-laura-wifler","cwp_profile-emily-jensen","cwp_profile-laura-wifler","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/280274\/risen-motherhood-prioritizing-marriage-emily-jensen-laura-wifler","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/280274\/risen-motherhood-prioritizing-marriage-emily-jensen-laura-wifler","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"IEaJp9d5zn\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/risen-motherhood-prioritizing-marriage-emily-jensen-laura-wifler\/\">Risen Motherhood: Prioritizing Marriage: Emily Jensen &#038; Laura Wifler<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/risen-motherhood-prioritizing-marriage-emily-jensen-laura-wifler\/embed\/#?secret=IEaJp9d5zn\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Risen Motherhood: Prioritizing Marriage: Emily Jensen &#038; Laura Wifler&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"IEaJp9d5zn\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg",1024,1024,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Margaret","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coylefamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Parenting can be overwhelming. Emily Jensen and Laura Wifler share tips for balancing parenting while maintaining your connection with your spouse.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<ul>\n<li>Connect with Emily Jenson &amp; Laura Wifler and catch more of their thoughts at <a href=\"https:\/\/emilyajensen.com\/\">emilyajensen.com<\/a> and listen to their podcast, <a href=\"https:\/\/emilyajensen.com\/podcast\">Risen Motherhood<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Connect with them on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/emilyajensen\/\">Instagram<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/EmilyAJens\">X<\/a> @EmilyAJens<\/li>\n<li>And grab Emily Jenson &amp; Laura Wifler\u2019s book, <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/risen-motherhood-gospel-hope-for-everyday-moments\/\">Risen Motherhood: Gospel Hope for Everyday Moments<\/a> by Emily Jensen &amp; Laura Wifler in our shop.<\/li>\n<li>Intrigued by today\u2019s episode? Think deeper about Motherhood by listening to <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/soul-care-for-stressed-moms\/\">Soul Care for Stressed Moms<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/may-2024\/?cru_source=D0002405RB&amp;cru_medium=RadioBanner&amp;cru_premium=PRE21802&amp;cru_campaign=May2024&amp;utm_source=web&amp;utm_medium=radiobanner&amp;utm_campaign=may2024\">Double your gift<\/a> this month when you give to FamilyLife!<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-05-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript<\/p>\n<p>References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.<\/p>\n<p>Risen Motherhood: Prioritizing Marriage<\/p>\n<p>Guests:Emily Jensen and Laura Wifler<\/p>\n<p>From the series:Sunday Faith to Monday Tantrum (Day 2 of 3)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:May 9, 2024<\/p>\n<p>Emily: I want someone to say, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on with you today? Are you okay? You must have a lot on your mind,\u201d and to really dig in and know that I\u2019m not perfect; I have issues. You want someone to have that compassion. My husband also has hurts in his life; he also has things that are on his mind that are weighing on him. Recognizing that, [I ask], \u201cWhat\u2019s going on with you? Are you okay? How can I come alongside you in this?\u201d\u2014knowing that there\u2019s a person on the other side who might be hurting, who might also be carrying a lot.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: This is FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I would say the hardest years of our marriage were when? Please don\u2019t say, \u201cToday,\u201d or \u201cThis year.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: When our kids were little, it was so hard. I felt alone; I felt like I didn\u2019t know what I was doing; I felt like you were building your career; and I was lost. I think that can be pretty typical, don\u2019t you?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Oh, I think yes. It doesn\u2019t have to be, but it just is when you\u2019re in that season of life. We\u2019ve got two moms in here with nine kids between them?\u2014or eight?<\/p>\n<p>Emily: Eight. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Laura: Eight. We had to count really quick.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Okay. I hope I\u2019m not a prophet. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Laura: Oh, please don\u2019t! Please! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: We\u2019ve got two moms in here with eight kids between them.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And they\u2019re sisters-in-law.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: It\u2019s pretty cool. We\u2019ve got Emily Jensen and Laura Wifler, the creators of Risen Motherhood. We\u2019ve had a day with you guys. Welcome back for Day 2!<\/p>\n<p>Emily: Awesome. Thank you for having us.<\/p>\n<p>Laura: Yes, thanks.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Let\u2019s talk. I mean, in your book, which I really love, because you apply the gospel\u2014like I said yesterday, not just a little bit. Every page is full of the gospel.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And it\u2019s the name of your podcast as well, isn\u2019t it? Risen Motherhood<\/p>\n<p>Emily: Risen Motherhood, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Laura: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Emily: We were really creative with the book title.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I like it! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: There you go; there you go. You just keep that brand going. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>One of the things you mentioned\u2014and you go through all these very practical things, and the gospel comes in; that\u2019s why moms love what you do\u2014is you have a chapter on marriage. I don\u2019t know if we\u2019ll spend the whole day talking about it, but I think we could; because you\u2019re in that season. Talk about marriage, and having a great, healthy, God-purpose-centered marriage, in the middle of risen motherhood.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And let me add, too: both of you have children with disabilities. Your kids are getting older, but you\u2019re continually putting your time and energy with all of your kids\u2014but especially, you have some more energy that you\u2019re putting into the kids who have special needs. I\u2019m guessing that that can take a toll on your marriage, as well. Is that true?<\/p>\n<p>Emily: Yes, absolutely. I think it\u2019s just been interesting over the years, because you do go through phases in marriages\u2014like what you\u2019re saying\u2014when kids are really, really little and all you are doing is just surviving day to day, and coordinating to the next outing.<\/p>\n<p>I think for us\u2014and we\u2019ve been married 14 years, and our youngest is in first grade now; we\u2019re a little bit out of that stage\u2014we have been kind of rebuilding now, in our marriage. Not that anything was torn down, but it\u2019s like your investing in a different way, that I think we didn\u2019t always have time to do during the little years.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Yes, you\u2019re looking at each other saying, \u201cI remember you!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Emily: Yes! [Laughter] And \u201cOh, the kids really will go to college someday. They really will move out.\u201d I think, when they\u2019re really little, you just don\u2019t believe it; it seems impossible that they\u2019ll ever be that old. And now, we\u2019re saying, \u201cOh, actually, we can imagine the amount of years it will be, and then it\u2019s us: \u201cAre we investing in our friendship? Are we partnering on things together?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I think something that\u2019s really helped us through the years is just trying to stay on the same page in the big picture. My husband and I have really different personalities. We have really different ways of doing things. Our method to getting to the same end is usually different; but the point is that we\u2019re trying to get to the same end. Trying to find ways we can be unified in the big picture and stay on the same page, I think, has really been important for us.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Let me ask you, Emily\u2014you\u2019re married to Laura\u2019s brother.<\/p>\n<p>Emily: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Has there ever been this awkwardness of: \u201cLet me vent to you, not just about my husband, but about your brother\u201d?<\/p>\n<p>Laura: Ooohhh, I want to know this answer! I never asked.<\/p>\n<p>Emily: Laura has been so good about being normal\u2014laidback, being open about it; because I\u2019m usually the one of the two of us who is like, \u201cI want to make sure we have clean boundaries here, and that you don\u2019t feel like you hear about this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Laura: Yes, I have no boundaries. I\u2019m kidding. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Emily: But she pushes me, and is like, \u201cI want to hear. I want to know what\u2019s going on in your marriage.\u201d I definitely feel like we\u2019re able, somehow by God\u2019s grace, to keep all of those things separate. Laura is someone I can talk to about marriage. Definitely, there are some topics that I\u2019m not\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Laura: \u2014obviously, I don\u2019t want to know. I\u2019ll be honest.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cI don\u2019t\u2026\u2014[Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Emily: \u2014I\u2019m not going to get into details about.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014\u201c\u2026details about your brother.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Emily: I know it\u2019s weird. I\u2019ve had to find another friend for that.<\/p>\n<p>Laura: It\u2019s happened a few times, where I think, \u201cMmmm,\u201d in group settings. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>But yes, the normal marriage questions we can talk about and \u201cI\u2019m still for you.\u201d I think that is so key as friends, and as family members, that love one another\u2014that we be for one another and believe the best in each other. I want her to have room and freedom to share the real realities of what\u2019s going on and also know that I\u2019m going to believe that they\u2019re both (like you said) pursuing the same goal and their [method] is different. Just to be a friend and cheerleader; I think we all need that.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s a huge thing, I think, in marriage, too: that we believe the best in our spouse. I know that for me, my husband and I are also opposite, very different from one another\u2014it seems to happen a lot in marriage\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Emily: \u2014I know!<\/p>\n<p>Laura: \u2014and yet, I had to really trust that he wants the same thing as me.<\/p>\n<p>You were going to say something.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I was going to say, when you say you want to see the best in each other,\u2014Laura: \u2014yes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014generally, most women don\u2019t do that. They see the negative in their husband; they don\u2019t see the good. How have you dealt with that?<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Maybe their husbands aren\u2019t as bad as the one you are married to.<\/p>\n<p>Laura: Oh, no, no, no.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: You\u2019re awesome.<\/p>\n<p>Laura: They\u2019re normal husbands.<\/p>\n<p>Emily: Normal marriages.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think it\u2019s typical, though, especially if you don\u2019t have a friend who\u2019s on the same page, spiritually. You\u2019ve been around women [where] there is just a husband bashing that goes on.<\/p>\n<p>Laura: Yes, absolutely.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: So, you\u2019re saying you\u2019re believing the best and seeing the best. How did you start doing that?<\/p>\n<p>Laura: I\u2019ve been fairly open about my husband. For a long time, [he] worked really long hours\u2014would just not be at home very often, because he was doing great at work and was really committed to his job. We definitely did not see eye to eye on that. My children were young and at home. My daughter was getting diagnosed with disabilities, surgeries. We were moving. There were so many things going on. I felt like he wasn\u2019t as present as I had hoped for him to be.<\/p>\n<p>I think one of the things that kept me through a lot of it was that his words were: \u201cI want to be available. I want to be here. I love you. I care about you guys.\u201d But sometimes, I felt like the actions didn\u2019t add up\u2014just the way I am in my own life, right? I say one thing, and then I do another thing. I had to believe that his heart was there, and that what he said, I felt like, at times, perhaps I couldn\u2019t trust him; I could trust God with our lives. I could believe the best, because I believe that his heart was still soft towards wanting to be available to our family.<\/p>\n<p>There were times where I think, in that situation, we needed more tools, more people around us; other voices helping us both to know how to get a different family lifestyle that we said we wanted, but it felt really hard to achieve in the moment. Believing the best doesn\u2019t say, \u201cI don\u2019t see any of these problems,\u201d or \u201cOh, you can do nothing wrong.\u201d It doesn\u2019t mean anything like that, but it does mean to say, \u201cOkay, if he\u2019s saying that he wants this\u2014and I want this, too\u2014I want to believe that we both want to pursue this, even though it feels really bumpy right, even though it feels really hard.\u201d And then, we want to bring in voices, and support structures, and accountability, or whatever those things are in order to say, \u2018Okay, we\u2019re going to pursue what we both say we want.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Also, it can happen in little things, I think, a lot of times with couples, where one person just forgets to take out the trash. Believing the best means: \u201cOkay, you actually forgot.\u201d Not that \u201cyou only wanted to watch the football game,\u201d or whatever, you know?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cHow do you forget every single week?!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Laura: I know; I know. [Laughter] Many questions.<\/p>\n<p>Emily: Right, but what I like that you\u2019re getting at, too, is that it\u2019s almost developing compassion for your spouse, too,\u2014Laura: \u2014that\u2019s good.<\/p>\n<p>Emily: \u2014and who they are, and what they\u2019re walking through; because with our own issues, when I forget to do something, I want someone to be like: \u201cWhat\u2019s going on with you today? Are you okay? You must have a lot on your mind,\u201d and to really dig in and know that I\u2019m not perfect; I have issues. You want someone to have that compassion.<\/p>\n<p>It's helped me, too, to know my husband also has hurts in his life; he also has things that are on his mind that are weighing on him. Recognizing that, it\u2019s not just, \u201cWell, you didn\u2019t meet my needs, and you\u2019re not doing what I want,\u201d but: \u201cWhat\u2019s going on with you? Are you okay? How can I come alongside you in this?\u201d and knowing that there\u2019s a person on the other side, who might be hurting, who might also be carrying a lot. Having that response to them, that I would want someone to have to me, I think, has been really helpful in having that longsuffering attitude\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Laura: \u2014versus justice?<\/p>\n<p>Emily: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: The grace of the gospel.<\/p>\n<p>Emily: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I\u2019m sitting over here as the guy. I\u2019m the only guy here\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Laura: \u2014yes! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014as the husband representative. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cMan, you talk about grace! You two just spoke grace. Part of me is [thinking], \u201cDo you do that?\u201d [Laughter] Because there are moments where you said, when he was working,\u2014Emily: \u2014you\u2019ll have to invite our husbands in to see what they think. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Laura: Yes, you\u2019ll have to ask.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: But I know we get frustrated with one another. Both of you have already said enough, where I say, \u201cWow! You have good marriages.\u201d In the middle of this crazy life you\u2019re living [Laughter], and a season in your life where it would be really hard, get really practical: what do you do? Do you guys date? Do you talk at night? Do you\u2014[Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Emily: \u2014we talk.<\/p>\n<p>Laura: It\u2019s so funny that you bring up date night, because Emily and I have a thing about feeling like\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m allowed to share this\u2014but feeling like date nights are so good and so helpful; but also, there are seasons in life, where date nights aren\u2019t possible\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014yes.<\/p>\n<p>Laura: \u2014because we have children with disabilities.<\/p>\n<p>Emily: \u2014like date nights out of the house\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Laura: \u2014yes, that\u2019s what we\u2019re talking about.<\/p>\n<p>Emily: \u2014at the restaurant.<\/p>\n<p>Laura: Yes, good clarification, because we have children with disabilities.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Can you leave them?<\/p>\n<p>Laura: We can. Clearly, we\u2019re here. But it can be hard. It\u2019s much more difficult to secure childcare and things like that. And especially when they were younger, we needed to be available for bedtime and things like that. While I think dates are so valuable, I think there\u2019s a lot of pressure on young married couples, who have little children at home, to figure out a way, even if it\u2019s: \u201cLet\u2019s watch TV and eat Ramen on the couch, where it\u2019s just us and it\u2019s intentional.\u201d We\u2019re tired! [Laughter] That\u2019s a very real thing to be very, very exhausted because your kid\u2019s not sleeping.<\/p>\n<p>I think that the Lord is kind to sustain us, no matter our season. We have to trust that marriage is not dependent upon a special kind of set-aside night, but that God can sustain a marriage through so much more than that in heavy, big seasons, where maybe we don\u2019t have capacity to even say, \u201cHey, every Tuesday night, we\u2019re going to get on the couch, and we\u2019re going to have ice cream.\u201d I only say that to relieve some pressure.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That has relieved so much pressure. [Laughter] We talk to a lot of military families, where one of the spouse is deployed.<\/p>\n<p>Laura: Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cWe can\u2019t have date nights. So, can we not make it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Laura: Right. Is it good? Absolutely! Please, no one hear that. If you can do that, go for it! That\u2019s going to be incredible. But also, you can have a very great marriage.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And the things that happen on a typical date night, whether it\u2019s at a restaurant or whatever, you still do somehow: communication\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Laura: \u2014exactly!<\/p>\n<p>Dave: \u2014connection, intimacy; you name it. I\u2019m guessing you still do that, even in a different way.<\/p>\n<p>Emily: Yes, it\u2019s kind of like quiet time, where you have to be able to think outside of the box of: \u201cIf I can\u2019t be with God from 6:15 am - 6:25 am\u2014with my coffee, with my Bible\u2014can I not meet with God?\u201d It\u2019s like: \u201cYou absolutely can! You can immerse yourself in the Lord all day, every day. You have to just be a little bit more creative and think more openly.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I think, for us, that\u2019s what we\u2019ve done in each season: be creative about what it means to stay connected in that season. For us, right now, we have school-aged children; so, they\u2019re gone during the day. Guess when my husband and I go do stuff together and hang out? While they\u2019re at school! We rarely go on an evening date or a morning date; but if he\u2019s free around lunch, and I\u2019m free around lunch, I\u2019ll say, \u201cHey, can we have lunch together?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Laura: But as an alternative perspective: [Laughter] as someone who shared my husband worked really long hours, so we would not see each other very often; and still, he works away during the days, so that\u2019s probably not practical for us to see one another during the daytime.<\/p>\n<p>But that being said, one of the things that helped us was that we took trips together. We found that, for him, I always joked that we had to get him out of state in order for work to leave him alone. I know there will be women here who will resonate with that statement.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Laura: I would plan us a little weekend away, or we would take a week away and do something a little bit longer. That was something we didn\u2019t bring our children on, and it carried us a lot longer through things.<\/p>\n<p>There were hard years! When my daughter was diagnosed with disabilities, and we were working through a lot of big life changes\u2014please, no one hear that our marriage is good all the time. Especially in that season, things were really, really hard. But we both promised that we would make good on a covenant that we made before the Lord. It wasn\u2019t an option for us to explore anything else, because we both knew that we wanted to make this work. This is assuming a healthy marriage that has its normal struggles and ups and downs, and there\u2019s no abuse\u2014there\u2019s nothing like that. So, there are assumptions that I\u2019m putting in here that I hope [everyone] hears those caveats are there and [have been] said.<\/p>\n<p>But this is where we\u2014Emily and I\u2014keep saying, \u201cWe want the same thing.\u201d We know that our husbands want to honor God. They want to be faithful to God, and they\u2019re going to do it a different way than what we think is best. [Laughter] Their quiet times are going to look different than what I would suggest. Their time in men\u2019s ministries is going to look different than what I think is the right way to do it. We have to give them freedom to be able to figure that out on their own, just like we have freedom to figure that out as wives.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s a lot more we could say, but I think it\u2019s really just important to recognize your season of life and allow\u2014talk with your husband: \u201cWhat is right? How often should we have one-on-one time together? How often should we try to pursue a date night? \u201cShould we take a yearly trip instead?\u201d Having that open communication\u2014when you\u2019re both not hot-headed; you\u2019re not coming in mad, saying, \u201cI haven\u2019t seen you in a month! What in the world\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But instead, you\u2019re saying, \u201cI prayed about this. I feel like I\u2019m in a good state right now, where I\u2019m walking in grace,\u201d and have that communication with your husband. Decide, then and there: \u201cThis is what we would like life to be like\u2026\u201d\u2014knowing that it\u2019s probably not going to measure up to that, but that\u2019s something you want to pursue. I think that can be really helpful: \u201cWhat\u2019s practical? What\u2019s realistic?\u201d and \u201cWhat do we want?\u201d that fits in there.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: I think that\u2019s really good. And I\u2019m guessing\u2014I\u2019m imagining\u2014you\u2019re having Emily praying for you as you\u2019re having hard conversations or vice versa. And I\u2019m guessing, too, because you talk to so many women\u2014and this is kind of your job\u2014you probably talk to a lot of women who don\u2019t have husbands who are on the same page, spiritually. How do you encourage them?<\/p>\n<p>Emily: Yes, that\u2019s really challenging. What we try to do all the time is push moms toward their local church and their local community, because you really\u2014I think, if you\u2019re in a situation like that, you really\u2014need people in your real life, who you see on a regular basis, who can be praying for you and who can speak into your specific situation. You need someone who knows your husband and your challenges, who can help give you wisdom.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s really, really difficult. I cannot imagine how hard it would be to feel like, \u201cMy husband and I aren\u2019t on the same team.\u201d But we know that she can trust the Lord, and she can rest her identity in Him, and that He is doing things in and through her life for His glory, for her good. There are scriptural promises that she can absolutely believe and rest in, even if her husband isn\u2019t who she hopes that he would be.<\/p>\n<p>I think, too, about the ministry of prayer that she has for her husband. Regardless of where he is spiritually, she may be the one person in his life who is going before the Lord on his behalf. Think about what a powerful thing that is and what a gift you\u2019re giving in honoring him in that way. He may not know that or appreciate that, but that\u2019s unseen work that the Lord sees, that He is rewarding, and no one else may care about in your life. That\u2019s important work.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: I would love for you to speak to the dad\u2014the husband, because for years\u2014probably, decades\u2014I didn\u2019t understand how hard it was for Ann, for a mom. I think I do now, maybe, but I didn\u2019t. I wouldn\u2019t come home and judge you, but I was like, \u201cMy life is really hard! I\u2019m leading this\u2026\u201d\u2014and I\u2019d come in the door, and she was exhausted. Speak to the guy. Tell him: \u201cThis is what it is like for your wife\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Laura: One thing I was going to say I\u2019ve noticed throughout the years, is how over-stimulating it is, even just the physicality of it. Imagine you\u2019re in a room all day, and there\u2019s loud music blaring, and there are lights flashing; and there are little things coming out of the wall, punching your body. [Laughter] And you can\u2019t leave except for when you go to the bathroom! And then, it\u2019s like the room follows you. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Emily: It comes! It follows you back to the bathroom! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Laura: There is a very real component of it that is exhausting, because it\u2019s so over-stimulating.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: That\u2019s so true!<\/p>\n<p>Laura: The other day I actually heard\u2014this was on some social media\u2014a dad was saying (and I thought this was really cool): \u201cI actually have the privilege to go work because my wife gets to be a stay-at-home mom. She serves me in that way.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It was just interesting, because I think we say that a lot, as women: \u201cWe get to serve our husband when he\u2019s at work,\u201d especially, if that mom is a stay-at-home mom. But to hear a dad say, \u201cI have the privilege of working outside the home because my wife is serving me in the home.\u201d It\u2019s saying the same thing but hearing it from a guy recognizing the privilege that that is because sometimes, it can feel like: \u201cThat\u2019s his right. He gets to do that because he\u2019s the head of the household.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It can feel\u2014especially, I\u2019m someone who\u2019s probably a little bit more ambitious, and has to use my hands and my mind all day, and I really enjoy that\u2014and I think that was something that was hard for me. It felt like, \u201cThat\u2019s his right, and so I have to be home in order to support him in that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Instead, for him to hear and recognize what a privilege it is. As we speak to dads, I think recognizing the privilege it is that you get to go off to work every day, and that you come home, and whatever state your home is in\u2014it might be a total disaster; [Laughter] and depending on your wife, it might be neat as a pin\u2014but to be able to tell her that: \u201cI\u2019m so glad that I\u2019m able to go off to work and come home, and I want to help you, and I want to engage in this.\u201d I think to be able to say that to her, that affirmation piece\u2014that piece that says, \u201cI see your work,\u201d\u2014because I remember I would go through my list with my husband, and say: \u201cAnd I did this.\u201d [Laughter] \u201cAnd I took the trash out, and then, I mowed the lawn.\u201d I was doing it all. I needed to hear; I needed someone to say, \u201cI see the work you are doing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We know that God sees all the work\u2014and that\u2019s what we say at Risen Motherhood all the time: \u201cNobody may ever see your work, but Jesus sees.\u201d But sometimes, you just need another human being that you love and care for to recognize it. That\u2019s what I would to say to any guy who is listening: \u201cGo home, and whether your wife is working outside the home, and she\u2019s coming home and feeding those kids dinner and getting them off to practices, or she\u2019s at home all day, tell her you love her. Tell her all the reasons why. Tell her why she\u2019s incredible.\u201d That, I think, will do so much for her as she goes into the next day and the week beyond. Put it on your phone. Make a little reminder, and do it once a week\u2014or every day. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Ann: And if you\u2019re hearing this, and you have a friend that you know her husband will not do that, you do it for her.<\/p>\n<p>Laura: So good.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: We just need to remind each other, as sisters: \u201cI see everything you\u2019re doing, and I know it\u2019s hard. Way to go!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave: And I\u2019ve got to add this: \u201cDude, if you\u2019re the guy that\u2019s saying, \u2018I can\u2019t do that,\u2019 do it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Laura: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Seriously!<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: We\u2019ll hear more encouragement from Dave about how a husband can practically honor his wife in just a second; but first, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Emily Jensen and Laura Wifler on FamilyLife Today. I love how straightforward and simple it can be to bring life into a specific context by being intentional to encourage.<\/p>\n<p>I know today\u2019s conversation gave you some good tracks to run on when it comes to the practicalities of doing that. If you want to hear more from Emily and Laura, they\u2019ve written a book called Risen Motherhood: Gospel Hope for Everyday Moments. You can find some practical ways to see connection between your faith and everyday challenges that you go through as a mom. And you can get your copy right now by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>While you\u2019re at FamilyLifeToday.com, you\u2019ll discover that there\u2019s a little button at the top of the page that says \u201cDonate Now.\u201d That gives you the opportunity to partner with us, here, at FamilyLife\u00ae. The really cool thing is that, all month long, in the month of May, every gift that you give will be matched dollar-for-dollar up to $500,000. We really encourage you to become a monthly partner with us. Join us in the ministry of reaching families and marriages all over the world. You can do that by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329. Again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Alright, here\u2019s Dave Wilson with some encouragement about how a husband can practically honor his wife:<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Dude, if you have a moment where you can get quiet, say, \u201cHoney, tell me about your day.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Laura: Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Hear about her day! She\u2019s had a hard day, probably. I know you have, too, [Laughter] but she\u2019s had a hard day. She would feel honored to be able to say: \u201cWell, I did this. I changed 18 diapers, and I picked up\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201c\u2014I mowed the grass.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Laura: And be impressed!<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u201cYou\u2019re amazing!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Laura: Yes, exactly! [Laughter] Genuinely impressed, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Shelby: Now, coming up tomorrow, be sure to join us as Emily and Laura talk about the complexities of what it\u2019s like to be a mother of children with disabilities and how they share their faith and find strength in supportive communities. That\u2019s tomorrow. We hope you\u2019ll join us.<\/p>\n<p>On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/280274","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=280274"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280865"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=280274"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=280274"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=280274"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=280274"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=280274"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=280274"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}