He Calls Me Daughter: Rick Altizer

Episode Transcript

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He Calls Me Daughter

Guest:Rick Altizer

From the series:He Calls Me Daughter (Day 1 of 3)

Air date:March 11, 2026

Rick (00:04):

I want a woman, who is in pain—and she can’t put a name on what it is—I want that woman to find healing and hope in this film. I want her to know: “You have a heavenly Father, Who loves you infinitely, and beyond anything you can even imagine or conceive in your mind. He’s perfect, and He loves you perfectly. You have value and worth in Him.”

Ann (00:35):

Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I’m Ann Wilson.

Dave (00:42):

And I’m Dave Wilson. And you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today.

Dave: We’ve got a movie producer; director; recording artist, who has dozens of albums and he’s sold dozens. I think you’ve sold a lot more, Rick.

Ann (01:04):

I think he has a lot.

Dave (01:05):

Rick Altizer is in the studio.

Rick (01:08):

Thank you; it’s a pleasure. It’s so awesome to be here.

Ann (01:10):

You are a talented guy; you’ve done a lot of different things. You’re quite an artist and creative.

Rick (01:16):

Praise God.

Ann (01:17):

Oh, no; he’s getting his guitar out, Rick!

Rick (01:20):

Come on! Come on!

Dave: I’ve never done this before:—

Rick: Come on!

Dave: —I’m giving it to you!

Rick: Come on! What are we doing here?

Dave: Grab the guitar.

Ann: So you wrote something with Johnny Cash?

Rick: [Strumming] I don’t have a pick!

Dave (01:35):

Oh, hey.

Ann: Dave always has a pick in his pocket.

Dave: I have a pick in every pants in my house. Just pretend it’s Nashville. You know what I was thinking? I was thinking: “You’re so talented”—no, no, no; don’t put it away—I was thinking, “You’re so talented, you could probably write a verse/maybe, a chorus about the book your wife’s reading right now:—

Rick: Alright!

Dave: —How to Speak Life to Your Husband: When All You Want to Do Is Yell at Him. Give us a line of what she’s learning or you’re learning about marriage.

Ann: Rick’s written—

Rick (02:12):

[Strumming and singing]

She’s my little helper, my little helper.

She’s my helper in the car.

She’s my little helper, my little helper.

She’s got lots of advice to get me going far.

Dave (02:24):

There we go! I knew he could do it!

Ann: He’s written hundreds of jingles.

Rick (02:29):

Oh, I know; I know; I know.

Ann (02:29):

That’s impressive. But we’re not here to talk about your musical career.

Rick: I can’t believe we’re doing this!

Ann: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, Rick! This is pretty—

Rick: I’m ruining your show.

Ann: No, you’re not.

Rick: It’s over.

Ann: You are not.

Ann: How much are you loving this, Dave?

Dave (02:42):

It was awesome. I just wish I had another guitar! We could write something.

Ann (02:47):

That’s pretty good.

Rick (02:48):

My Little Helper!

Dave: My Little Helper Helps Me.

Rick (02:49):

My wife is awesome. She loves what you’re doing—your book—and how it’s helping her to realize, if she’s just constantly giving me all this advice and suggestions, [I] just feel beat down. She has been telling me all these amazing compliments and building me up. Any praise I get, it doesn’t mean anything.

Ann: —from other people.

Rick: I can get all this praise, and adoration; and whatever, blah, blah, blah—but if my wife criticizes, it just—boom!—it just cuts and destroys. It’s been great—thank you—we love your book.

Ann (03:27):

I love that. And again, the book is called How to Speak Life to Your Husband: When All You Want To Do is Yell at Him.

Dave (03:31):

But we’re not here to talk about that.

Ann: Nope!

Dave: I feel like what we’re going to talk about today literally is an extension—not literally—but it is like an extension of your heart; and actually, I think, God’s heart.

Ann (03:42):

Me, too.

Dave (03:42):

So tell us what we’re talking about.

Rick (03:43):

We’re talking about a film called He Calls Me Daughter. It’s a film made for women, who have a father wound. Many women, who perhaps go to church—maybe, they’re in the ministry: the worship team or, maybe, they’re part of the women’s ministry group—there’s something inside them that hurts. They don’t know what it is. They go to the women’s conferences; and they get all the books; and they do all the things—nothing does it for them—and they just figure: “There must be something wrong with me.” They see all these other women connecting with God, and having this strong emotional relationship with Him; and they’re just kind of on the outside, and they don’t know what it is.

When that woman sees this film, her life is going to change. This isn’t going to be life-changing for everyone; but there’s going to be thousands of women, who see this film, and their lives will change because they’re going to realize: “I’m a spiritual orphan. I have a father wound, and my father wound is impacting how I’m relating to God.” Because, so often, we will project onto God traits of our earthly father. For instance, if our father was distant—maybe, he was physically present, but distant—we’ll struggle believing God’s there for us; we’ll transfer that to God.

This is going to be a wake-up moment for so many women, seeing, “I didn’t know I had this father wound and how impactful it was on my life.”

Ann (05:04):

I think it’s more than just women who have a father wound.

Rick (05:06):

Oh, yes.

Dave (05:07):

It’s men.

Ann (05:08):

I automatically want to send it to my sons, who are fathers, to help them to remember and to realize: “Your role is really a big one. You might feel like it’s not, with your daughters; but you are having a huge influence on them.”

Dave (05:23):

It’s obviously a term we’ve heard, although I’m old enough to remember where that was never a term anybody ever talked about. But I remember the first time somebody used those two words, father wound, I was probably in my 20s or 30s. Immediately, I’m like, “I got it. I don’t even know what it is, but I’ve got that.” Define it: “What would be a father wound?”

Rick (05:44):

A father wound is where you’re going to have a lack. You’re lacking—whether it be in self-identity, self-esteem, physical presence of a father, protection, safety from…—you didn’t have this—what you naturally need from a heavenly Father. Our earthly fathers are modeling our heavenly Father. When our earthly fathers don’t model that well, then, you’re left with that wound. You’re lacking because so much of our identity comes from our father—so much of that.

I did a film with the Kendrick brothers called Show Me the Father, which was mostly focused for men.

Ann (06:22):

It was so good.

Rick (06:23):

Praise God. As we were making that film, I was telling Stephen Kendrick: “We got to do this for women,” “We got to do this for women.” God has opened the doors for this film to be made. To realize: “I have this wound,”—even if your father was physically present, you might say, “Well, I don’t have a father wound,”—but he was emotionally distant. You’re going to have a tendency to over-function in that case, because—

Ann (06:45):

That’s me.

Rick (06:45):

—everything is about doing; I’m a human doing, at that point. I get my validation; I get my worth from my dad when I do. I’ll say, “My love language is acts of service”; but actually, I’ve been trained: “If I want Daddy to give me what I need, I got to do.” That’s why acts of service are so big for them, because there is this wound.

So then, they’ll come to God; and now, they’re going to put that on God: “I got to get to work,” “I got to perform,” “This is how I earn; I have to do this.”

Ann (07:15):

—“to get my Father’s attention.”

Rick (07:17):

—“To get my Daddy to love me,” “To get my Daddy’s attention, I need to.”

We do that in so many ways. My father didn’t tell the truth. You’d ask him what the football score was. He’d give/just tell you something that wasn’t truth. So believing God/trusting God was a struggle for me. It was a challenge to work through: “I can trust God; He’s not like my earthly father.”

(07:39) That’s what the film is very strongly focused on. It’s a Christ-message, a gospel-based message, as you saw. Our earthly fathers aren’t like our perfect heavenly Father. You’re loved perfectly—when you’re in Christ—you’re loved by a perfect Father. That is where the heart of the film is.

The hope and the intention is that women and men, all across America, will be touched by it. It’s going to be going into prisons—Prison Fellowship ministry’s involved—women, in prisons, are going to see it; be praying for it.

Dave (08:14):

It’ll be in theaters March 17—

Rick: March 17 and 18—

Dave: —for a couple of days.

Rick: —two days only.

Dave: Even as you started the journey, to produce this film, was there anything that surprised you? You interviewed a lot of women.

Ann (08:25):

You have a lot of stories of women.

Dave (08:27):

Did it go somewhere you didn’t expect? Or is it exactly what you thought?

Rick (08:30):

Yes, absolutely. We had a story in the film—and the film just wasn’t right—it wasn’t there. We had a story that ended up kind of blowing up—the story blew up—which means this married couple started having difficulties, to the point, that they weren’t going to be able to be in the film anymore.

(08:56) “Oh, no; a closed door.” Well, God tends to work more in my life with a closed door than He does with the open door. For me, more often than not, the closed door is direction. I think a younger me would’ve gotten anxious about that: “Oh, no; a closed door.” But I was going, “Okay, God, You’re doing something here.”

We met Rochelle Starr from Scarlet Hope in Louisville. A friend said, “I know someone.” And then, all of a sudden, it’s the amazing story of the film! God just brought what we needed. So many times, when we have these closed doors in our life, we can get anxious. We can struggle trusting and believing in God—especially, if we have a father wound, that’s a tough one for us to believe that God’s there for us and that He’s trustworthy—that’s a hard one. We can talk about it, and I can believe God’s good for you; but for me, I tend to operate in self-sufficiency because: “I’m not so sure I really do believe that.”

Ann (09:46):

Dave, what do you think your struggles with God are, or have been in the past?

Dave (09:52):

Mine was directly connected to my father, who left. When people would say: “God is present,” “He’s there; He cares,”—

Ann: — “He’ll never leave.”

Dave: —that was the catch. I literally had to dive into Scripture over and over, for years, to go, “Okay, that is true about God. It wasn’t true about my dad: he would say he’d show up; he didn’t show up. Again, I didn’t even know until early 30s: “I’m projecting on God my belief about my earthly father, and that’s not who my heavenly Father is”; but that was a wound that I had.

I look back on my life, and I’m like, “Oh, so that’s why I excelled in everything I did,”—the whole time, trying to get—not that it was bad—I’m glad I accomplished things in sports and music. My dad was a drummer—put himself through flight school, playing the drums—and got a love for music from my dad; never saw him play drums anywhere. But I think a lot of us, there’s a driving motivation, underneath everything; and sometimes, it’s connected to: “I’m trying to be seen by a dad who never saw me. And there is a God Who does.”

Ann (11:08):

And mine was performance. My dad very seldom really saw me. I’m the youngest; I had two brothers. Sports was his thing. But I think I was always like: “Do you see me?” “Do you see me now?” “Do you see me now?”—not “…hear me now?”— all of it. I wanted his approval, and his affection, and his love, and his admiration.

When I did give my life to Jesus, I was on that same track: “I need to perform,” “I need to do it better,” “I need for God to love me.” Man, it takes a while to understand who God is and how He’s such a good Father. He’s always with me; He always sees me. I don’t have to perform for Him; it’s crazy.

I’m wondering what—just take a guess—percentage of us have a father wound?

Rick (11:53):

Oh, I don’t know.

Ann (11:55):

You think it’s a lot?

Rick (11:56):

I do,—

Ann (11:57):

I do, too.

Rick: —because no father’s perfect.

Ann: They’re never going to be.

Rick (12:01):

Even a good father is going to mess up.

Dave (12:05):

Yeah, my kids have father wounds; and I was a perfect dad.

Rick (12:08):

So many times—I call them “functional orphans”: “I’m functioning,”—you could be pastoring a church; you could be hosting a radio show—and be functioning. But at the core: “I don’t believe God is my Father.”

They came to Jesus, in John, Chapter 6; and they said, “Show us the works of the Father that we must be doing,”—”Can I have the list?” “Can I have the five ways to be a good husband?” “Can I have the three ways to encourage my spouse?” “…the four ways to know my spiritual gift?” “What are the works that we must be doing?”

And Jesus responds: “The work”—singular—”of the Father is to believe the One He sent,”—believing that God is Who He says He is; that—”I am Who God says I am,”—that’s the work. That’s the work of God in me. It comes from outside of me. You didn’t have this—this Father Who gave you identity—God gives it to you outside/it comes, outside of you, from God, through His Son, Jesus.

(13:08) So this is our work: believing:

“God is sovereign”; that’s all I got; this is all I got. I don’t know why things happen. I don’t know where, when; I don’t know. But God has clearly revealed Who He is: “He’s sovereign”; He knew this was going to happen. He doesn’t learn anything; He’s sovereign.

“He’s good in His nature; He can’t do anything evil. It’s not possible for Him to be evil, because He is good. He’s all good, and we can trust Him.” That’s all I got!

Now, I can get my head around “God’s sovereign.” “… good,”—I can believe He’s good for you, like I said. But for me, “Maybe I’ll operate in some self-sufficiency, just to make sure.” But that’s the tough one: “I can trust God,”—that’s where God has to work in us; that’s part of our sanctifying work—”You can trust Him. He’s a loving, perfect Father.” That’s all I got! “God’s sovereign,” “He’s good, and we can trust Him.”

Ann (14:01):

I think, as listeners: “Are you resonating with any of that? Do you believe God is good and you can trust Him?” Because if you can’t, that can take you on a journey; don’t you think?

Dave (14:13):

I think the greatest journey of my life was coming to that discovery. I told you, when we were walking in here, I think one of the themes of my preaching for 40 years has come down to—there’s all kinds of themes in teaching Scripture—but I think it comes down to two beliefs:

“What do I believe about God?”—that’s our theology;

and “What do I believe about me/myself?”—that’s identity.

If I believe: “Yes, Scripture says, ‘God’s present’; ‘God’s sovereign’; ‘God cares’; but I don’t believe it, I’m going to make decisions, every day, to try and get God to be present, to be sovereign, to be—you know what I mean? If I believe that there’s a security that /if I believe I’m loved by Him; I am a son He cares about, He thinks about, He designed, I walk in a room—as one of my mentors would say—“I walk in a room, and I own it,”—and not in an arrogant way.

(15:08) “I own it; I don’t need to prove anything to anybody here.”

Ann: I can be who—

Dave: I’m loved by the King of the universe, Who’s with me—so I walk in a room; and I’m not trying to be flashy, or say, “Hey, do you know what I did last week? I did this…”—trying to win approval. I’ve got the approval—I walk in, secure; and I know my identity—the father wound was a part of my reality, but it’s been healed by the Father.

Rick: Amen.

Dave: You know what I’m saying? That’s a different reality. I think most people I run into are still wrestling through: “Who am I?” “Who is He?” And they’re trying to be a human doing.

Rick (15:43):

Yes, the human doing—and the issue of belief/unbelief—this is our struggle. When I’m not connected to the Vine—every time I’ve crashed and burned in my marriage, every time/100 percent of the time—it’s because I haven’t been connected.

Ann (15:56):

Yes.

Rick (15:57):

—every time. Perhaps/maybe, you’re in a marriage—maybe, you have a father wound—so learning how to feel validated or feel of worth—maybe, you’re looking to a spouse to do that in you. And guess what? That’s the role of Jesus; that’s what He’s there for. And that’s the Holy Spirit who does that. So when I’m putting that onto my wife, or my husband, I’m making them an idol.

Ann (16:17):

—an idol. That’s what I did.

Rick (16:18):

What I’m doing—it’s idolatry; I’m idol worshiping—I’m saying: “I need you to be Jesus,” “I need you to validate me,” “I need you to give me my…”; and then, when they don’t do it—my wife is an awesome wife, but she’s not Jesus—well, then, we burn our idols down: “You didn’t respect me!” “You didn’t love me!” “You didn’t give me what I needed!” I’m looking to you to give me something that only Christ can.

Getting back to our issue—what I’m saying there is—“I don’t believe Jesus can give me what I need. I need my wife to respect me,” “I need my husband to clean up his socks,” “I need my husband to go help with the dishes,”—or whatever we say, “I need.” And if it isn’t Jesus, it’s unbelief; we’re saying, “Jesus, You’re not enough.” We don’t want to say that; because we’re, also, self-righteous; we also have that. But that’s our struggle—the unbelief—it underlines everything.

And so with this film—believing there is a perfect Father, Who loves you, Who gives you your identity—He calls me, “Daughter”; it comes from outside of you. So many women are confused; they’re hurt, and they’re broken. Many, many, many times, this is coming from a father wound. Maybe, people don’t want to talk about it. Maybe, that’s why there’s never been a film like this; they don’t want to talk about this.

Dave (17:32):

It may be something they don’t want to talk about; but we have to, because it drives every day of our life—every minute, I think, in some sense—is a drive for that affirmation from our father. Maybe, we never got it; but we can get it.

Did you find anything unique with the women you interviewed? Is it uniquely different for women than it is for men?

Ann (17:51):

And how did you determine the women that you would interview?

Rick (17:54):

I’m just telling you: this is my eighth film, and I’ve never been on a project where God was so involved—just from the beginning to right here—the fact that I’m actually sitting in this studio, even talking to you.

Ann (18:06):

I was going to say, “This studio is in your film—

Rick (18:10):

Yeah, yeah.

Ann (18:12):

—“with a guest that we had on.”

Dave (18:14):

Yes, she was sitting in your chair.

Rick: Right here.

Ann: Kia Stephens.

Rick: It is in the film; that’s how we connected here. We saw it at the—there’s a Fatherhood Commission in Rome, Georgia—I watched it for the first time with a group of 175 ministry leaders, who focus on fatherhood ministries. I watched it—and I’ve never had this sense like this—but as I’m watching this film, I’m going, “I didn’t make this film,”—and I know you’ve probably given sermons, or done things like, “That wasn’t me; there’s no way I could do this,”—and I’m watching, going, “I didn’t do any of this. This is God; this is to His glory.” That’s all I got on that.

Ann (18:50):

I cried so many times, watching this; because it pulls at the heartstrings of the longings of a woman’s heart—of the lack that we often feel—of feeling alone, of feeling like we have to do everything ourselves, our distrust, and our lack of trust in a good God. It just pulls at so many things. But the thing that really gets you is when, as you watch the film progress, and you see the progression, and you hear the gospel.

Rick (19:20):

Yes, praise God.

Ann (19:20):

It just sinks praise deep into the heart. And then, you see the transformation. Whew; that’s when I start to cry,—

Rick: Hallelujiah.

Ann: —when I see the transformation of understanding: “This is how loved and beloved you are by the Father,”—that can’t help but pull at your heartstrings; there’s transformation that takes place.

Dave (19:40):

Even Chonda Pierce, who’s this comedian—I’ve never seen her do anything but make me laugh—and there’s this story behind it.

Ann (19:52):

How did you guys connect?

Rick (19:54):

I was doing some work with her. I had a business partner, and we were helping her with marketing her DVDs and things. She told me, “I want to make a movie”; and I’d never made a movie before. I said, “We could do a demo tape.” Remember, back in the day, little cassette tapes, three songs.

Ann (20:10):

You probably made a lot of those.

Rick (20:11):

Yeah, I did. “Why don’t we do five minutes, and send it off; and see what happens?” I went on the road with her for three days and got 16 minutes. They said, “Rick, can you make this film?” I went, “Sure!” It was called Laughing in the Dark, and it was the number five movie in America the night it came out. And then, we did another one called [Chonda Pierce]: Enough; and that was the number two movie in America.

And then, from that, Russ Taff wanted me to do a film for him—he was sharing about his alcoholism—called I Still Believe. Stephen Kendrick saw that. I had done three films with Chonda. That’s why—when we started this, I knew that her father had just died—she’d never talked about her story with her dad, because he was still alive.

Ann (20:52):

Oh, I didn’t know that.

Rick (20:52):

This is the first time she’s sharing about the story with her dad, in this film.

Dave (21:01):

What if the questions you’re too embarrassed to ask are the ones your marriage needs answered?

Ann (21:08):

Marriage After Dark is FamilyLife’s newest podcast, where a real married couple talks openly about healthy, God-honoring sex. Yes, the stuff you’d never ask your pastor or your friends.

Dave (21:21):

For more, go to FamilyLife.com/MarriageAfterDark because intimacy shouldn’t stay in the dark. Again, that’s FamilyLife.com/MarriageAfterDark.

Dave: What is—I think I know—but: “What’s your hope? What do you hope happens?”

Rick (21:43):

I want a woman, who is in pain—and she can’t put a name on what it is—I want that woman to find healing and hope in this film. That’s who I’m making this film for. I want her to know that: “You have a heavenly Father who loves you infinitely and beyond anything you can even imagine or conceive in your mind,” and “He’s not like your earthly dad; He’s perfect, and He loves you perfectly, and you have value and worth in Him, and you don’t have to do the work—Christ already did it on the cross—it’s done. You don’t have to work to earn this love; it comes from outside of you. It’s not anything you do and earn—it’s all grace—it’s all outside of you.”

I want that woman to see this film, and for her life to change—and to download our free curriculum we’re giving away—our six-week curriculum. And to go find counseling and deal with this father wound; that then, she’s finding healing in her marriage, and with her kids, with her own life. That’s what I want: for that woman to be healed.

Dave (22:43):

That’s beautiful.

Ann: I believe that really can happen—as women watch this, as dads watch it, as women take their daughters/granddaughters to the film—that’s going to happen.

Dave (22:56):

Let me ask you this: “Do you think fathers should go with their daughters to this movie?”

Rick (23:01):

Absolutely. Oh, yeah. We showed it at the Fatherhood Commission. More men were crying than the women.

Dave: Really?

Ann (23:08):

I could see that.

Rick (23:09):

They were just saying, “This tore me up.”

Ann (23:11):

—because of the power a father has.

Rick (23:13):

The gospel is powerful; the gospel is life-changing. This is not a Jesus-lite film—they have these/they call them “faith adjacent”—there’s nothing adjacent about our faith in this film. Jesus is front and center, and the gospel is the power for salvation! That’s how it happens—when you’re faced with the gospel changing someone’s life—and you see that it’s real; that this is for you. I’m excited to see what ministries come out of this.

Ann (23:40):

Me, too.

Rick (23:40):

We’re just focusing the film on one thing: women, who have a father wound, and giving them the gospel to know that they’re loved and cared for by a perfect heavenly Father.

Dave (23:49):

May God bless it.

Ann (23:50):

Yeah, I agree.

And then, tomorrow, we’re going to bring in Rachelle Starr, who’s in the film—who, actually, has a huge part in it; because she has a ministry that you’re not going to want to miss hearing about—so come back tomorrow.

Dave (24:06):

Again, the movie is called He Calls Me Daughter. It launches in theaters March 17 and 18, two days; you can go see it. You can get all the information you want at HeCallsMeDaughter.org; or go to our FamilyLifeToday.com, and click on the link in the show notes; we’ll send you all the info, as well.

Okay—real quick—you got to join us on the Love Like You Mean It marriage cruise, February 13-20 in 2027. You don’t want to miss it.

Ann (24:31):

There’s a sale going on right now through March 17. This is the time to sign up.

Dave (24:37):

Go to FamilyLifeToday.com, and click on the banner. We’ll see you on the boat.

Ann (24:45):

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