Centering on Jesus When Life (and Shame) are Loud: Andrea Griffith

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Centering on Jesus When Life (and Shame) are Loud

Guest:Andrea Griffith

From the series:Centering on Jesus When Life (and Shame) are Loud (Day 1 of 2)

Air date:May 7, 2026

Andrea (00:04):

Shame grows in the dark, but if you can get it into the light, it’s like just getting that truth into the light, the power of that secret is broken. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I did not realize the weight I had been under for so long. Nothing was solved then, but as I left, I just felt this weight lifted off.

Dave (00:35):

Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I’m Dave Wilson.

Ann (00:41):

And I’m Ann Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today.

Hey, so today we’re going to do something that’s really interesting, different, and fun.

Dave (00:59):

Wait a minute. I don’t know what’s happening.

Ann (01:01):

And you are very involved in this, Dave.

Dave (01:03):

Are we going to introduce our guest?

Ann (01:05):

Not yet.

Dave (01:05):

Oh.

Ann (01:06):

Not yet. Because we are going to give you a reading comprehension test.

Dave (01:11):

No, you’re not.

Ann (01:12):

Yes, we are. And it’s going to be a little different because I’m going to have you read something and you need to remember it because then you’re going to be tested on it. But as you’re reading it, we’re going to put some headphones on you that’s going to be loud, noisy, and very distracting. And we’re going to see how well you do with your comprehension.

Dave (01:36):

I couldn’t comprehend it without headphones on. Are you serious?

Ann:

Yeah.

Dave:

So that’s why these headphones are sitting on the table.

Ann (01:45):

This is just a little picture of what it’s like to be a mom.

Dave (01:49):

I know what it’s for. I’ve watched you. So I’m putting these headphones on.

Ann (01:53):

Yes.

Dave (01:54):

Do I put them on now? What do I read?

Ann (01:55):

Put the sound up to the microphone so our listeners can hear what you’re hearing.

Dave (01:59):

That is horrible. This is a mom’s life. That is so loud.

Ann (02:09):

Okay. So read out loud what you’re being tested on.

Dave (02:16):

How AI works. AI isn’t a brain. It’s a prediction engine. It processes data by turning words into numerical vectors using a neural network. It applies a mechanism called self-attention to weigh the context of an entire sentence simultaneously. Rather than retrieving facts, it uses probabilistic interference to guess anesthetistical token in a sequence. It’s essentially a high-speed game of math-based fill in the blank.

Ann (02:51):

Okay. Now you can take off your headphones.

Dave (02:54):

That was loud and chaotic.

Ann (02:57):

Welcome to the life of a woman or anyone staying home with children. Okay, are you ready for your comprehension test?

Dave (03:02):

That did sound like our kids’, grandkids’ family room every time we go over there.

Ann (03:08):

Here’s your quiz. Question number one. The passage describes the AI’s internal representation of words using which specific mathematical format?

Dave (03:21):

Fill in the blank. That was the last thing I read, was fill in the blank.

Ann (03:26):

The answer was numerical vectors.

Dave (03:30):

Oh yeah.

Ann (03:31):

Here’s question number two.

Dave (03:33):

Did you guys hear that? Did you hear me say that?

Ann (03:36):

All I could hear was you yelling.

Dave (03:38):

I was yelling? Was I loud?

Ann (03:41):

Yes.

Andrea (03:41):

You were loud.

Ann (03:42):

What specific mechanism allows the AI to evaluate the significance of every word in a sentence at the same time?

Dave (03:51):

What does it? I have no idea.

Ann (03:55):

The answer is—

Dave (03:56):

I have no idea what I read. There was a word in there, vector. I remember the last word, fill in the blanks. That’s all I remember.

Ann (04:06):

The answer is self-attention.

Dave (04:08):

Okay. Did I read it even right? So we got a guest sitting over here. What’s this got to do with Andrea?

Ann (04:15):

This has a lot to do with our friend, Andrea Griffith’s here.

Dave (04:19):

Next time we do something like this, you’re going to do it. You girls could probably do it.

Andrea (04:24):

She might ace it.

Ann:

No, I would not. Andrea, can you explain why we had Dave do that? Do you know?

Andrea (04:32):

Maybe a little.

Ann (04:33):

Yeah, I think you do.

Andrea (04:34):

So there is a Bible study that I’ve written called Center.

Dave (04:39):

There’s three.

Andrea (04:40):

And how do we center our lives on Christ when everything is swirling around us? There are loud voices in our heads, whether it’s our kids, whether it’s our boss, whether it’s our own voice that’s so loud, or all the distractions in life, and yet our hearts want to be centered on Jesus. But how? How do you do it?

Ann (05:00):

So Andrea—

Dave (05:01):

Andrea, you got to tell our listeners who you are.

Ann (05:03):

Yeah, that’s what I was going to say too.

Dave (05:04):

I mean, some of them know you, you and Trent.

Ann:

You’ve been on before.

Dave:

You’ve been speaking for FamilyLife Weekend to Remember for—

Ann (05:10):

It’ll be 20 years this year.

Dave (05:12):

20 years.

Andrea (05:12):

Yeah.

Dave (05:13):

All right. Let’s talk about—I mean, you’ve got three studies.

Andrea:

Yeah.

Ann (05:17):

Which one do you think we should start with? Is this the one?

Andrea (05:19):

Center’s fine. It kind of is the first book out of the three, but you can—I mean, they’re standalone studies at the same time.

Ann (05:26):

Well, explain why you’ve done them, why you’ve written these Bible studies.

Andrea (05:30):

Yeah. So I really did want to give moms something simple that they could grab. It’s not overwhelming. I love the studies that are 45 minutes to an hour of homework.

Ann (05:43):

Right.

Andrea (05:44):

But—

Ann (05:44):

If you’ve ever done a Beth Moore study—

Dave:

Not possible.

Ann:

—like you’re digging in.

Andrea (05:48):

You are. And I love those.

Ann (05:49):

Me too.

Andrea (05:50):

I love the Beth Moore studies.

Ann (05:51):

But you can’t do it at a sitting.

Andrea (05:53):

No. And at the same time, if you’re a mom with little kids running around, what can I grab? What can I ingest? What can I get into my head, my heart, my life, just to pick it up and sit down with Jesus. So my hope is that as you open those books and you get into the scripture, that God will just meet you there in those scriptures, but I won’t keep you there all morning long. Yeah.

Ann (06:18):

Before we get into this, can you give us a little bit of your journey? You’ve been on before and you’ve shared a little bit of your journey, but I think it’s pretty remarkable what God’s done in your life. Will you take us back a little bit?

Andrea (06:30):

Sure. So I actually grew up in church, but I did not understand the Bible. I did not understand the gospel. I don’t know where I was. I know that the scripture says that the Holy Spirit has to help you. The Holy Spirit has to remove the blinders from your eyes. And maybe that just took a lot of years for me until He just encountered my life. But I grew up in church. I was there all the time, but I did not live like somebody in church. I was a total hypocrite. I looked one way in church. I was up front. I was even leading worship and different things, but I was somebody else through the week and on the weekends.

Dave (07:11):

Was it a secret? Did anybody know or is it hidden?

Andrea (07:14):

Very much a secret. At least I tried.

Dave (07:15):

Yeah.

Andrea (07:15):

I tell people I was a very good liar. I don’t mean that I was convincing. I just mean that I was trying to cover all the wrong things I was doing. And when you’re young and you’re lying, the consequences are maybe a little bit smaller, but as I grew up and became a teenager and continued to lie and continued to make wrong choices, immorality, drinking, just all kinds of things that I didn’t want anybody to know about, the consequences got big fast. And I remember my senior year of high school, I found out I was pregnant and because I had this one persona that I thought everyone was seeing, but the reality was something different, I just still chose to cover. I still chose to hide.

Ann (08:08):

When you found out you were pregnant, were you 17 or 18?

Andrea (08:12):

I was 17. Yeah.

Ann (08:13):

Tell me, when you discovered that, what did that feel like?

Andrea (08:19):

Just a lot of shame, also a lot of pride.

Ann (08:25):

What do you mean?

Andrea (08:26):

Pride in that I didn’t want anyone to be able to know that part of my life. Pride of still hiding, still covering. Like you think of Adam and Eve at the beginning, they did something wrong and what did they do? They just ran again.

Dave (08:41):

Hid and covered.

Andrea (08:41):

Hid and covered, and that’s exactly the route that I was choosing.

Ann (08:45):

Were you in a panic?

Andrea (08:47):

Very much so. Yeah. My parents didn’t know the choices I was making. Some of my friends did, but outside of that small circle, no one really knew. And so just how do I hide? How do I cover this? The age-old question that I think we still do today.

Ann:

For sure.

Andrea:

I know I do. So I decided that I would have an abortion and I did that. And for me, that was the beginning of a very long hill, downward spiral. I just continued to heap shame.

Ann (09:25):

Did anyone know? Did your parents know?

Andrea (09:27):

Just the guy that I was seeing. Yeah, just the guy I was seeing.

Ann (09:30):

So another thing that you’re hiding, but internally you’re starting to like, it’s affecting you.

Andrea (09:36):

Oh yeah. That made everything get really, real, really fast. Yeah. And so more shame. I couldn’t believe what I had done and I really didn’t have any answers. It’s been done. What do you do now? And so God, in His grace and in His mercy, He put me around a group of people that were really believers. They looked like it on the outside, but they lived it in their hearts. They would have a desire for something that God calls us to, and they would try hard to live that out. I would have a desire, but I just wasn’t trying at all to live that way.

Ann (10:18):

Where did you meet them?

Andrea (10:19):

I started traveling in this ministry called Life Action Ministries. And I was accepted. I graduated from college with a music degree. I was accepted to be a singer on their team and started traveling around. And the differences between them and me just became apparent really quickly. And one morning—I had my time in the Word every day—I was up reading my Bible, and I felt like the Lord said, “Andrea, if you don’t get honest about your past, we are not going anywhere.” Well, I knew that Jesus was my only hope. And so I went and I found a pastor’s wife and I just told her my whole story. And it was the first time that I brought my reality into the light. I’d kept it in the dark for so long. And I feel like that’s where secrets grow and shame grows in the dark, but if you can get it into the light, it’s like just getting that truth into the light, the power of that secret is broken.

Ann (11:23):

What did it feel like for you? Do you remember after you told her everything?

Andrea (11:28):

I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I did not realize the weight I had been under for so long. And so just being able to share that with someone else, have someone else’s eyes and heart on that. Nothing was solved then, but as I left, I just felt this weight lifted off of me.

(11:50):

And a few days later was when I actually came to know the Lord. I met with her and her husband, and he just started asking me all these questions and I’d always been able to be such a good liar. I’d always lied my way out. And I mean, this man was nailing me to the wall with questions, and I started to see my heart the way a Holy God had seen it the whole time. And I was just undone. It was so wicked and so dark and so ugly. And I didn’t know what to do because I thought I already knew Jesus, but I was seeing my heart in a way I’d never seen it before. So I just started with the top of my head, and I went to my feet, and I just gave God every part of me. And I just said, “God, I’ve made such a mess of my life. Would you take control? Would you lead me?” And that was my point of salvation. Looking back from that, that’s when my life started to change.

Ann (12:48):

And as a listener, if you hear this, as you said that, Andrea, I was thinking for both Dave and I, that’s when our lives changed too, when we gave him everything. And if you’re listening to this and you’re thinking, “I don’t know if I’ve ever done that. I don’t know if I’ve ever just given Him all of me,” because it’s very vulnerable. It feels scary and yet it’s exactly what we were meant to do, to give Him everything.

Andrea (13:16):

We were made for Him.

Ann (13:17):

We were made for Him.

Dave (13:19):

Yeah, and even living in a lie or covering, which is what everybody does every day, and we even do it as believers still, but that is no way to live. It’s darkness. It will come out in the light. Let me ask you this. How did you reconcile the abortion as you came to Christ? I’m guessing there’s listeners going, “Oh, do you guys think abortion’s okay?” No, we don’t. Yeah. But how did you—I even picture you’re giving Him your whole body, you came to your womb, and you had to give Him that. How did you process?

Andrea (13:57):

That took me some time. That didn’t happen immediately right there in that moment. And you’re right, God is a God of life. It’s Satan that came in and brought in death and darkness and all the lying and all the covering that we do still today. I still do that today. So how do I bring myself to this God of life when I’ve created death by my own choosing? And so for me, I had to find a women’s care center, like a pregnancy care center, and many of them have programs that you can go through as a post-abortive woman. And that’s what I did. I just went and I said, “This is in my past and I know I have not healed from it. I know there’s still scars. I know there’s still shame.” I think about it every day and—

Ann:

Did you?

Andrea:

Especially on the anniversary, the yearly anniversary that would come around.

Ann (14:57):

It makes me cry of just the millions of women that carry that still.

Andrea (15:04):

Well, the voices are loud in your head. The voices are loud and especially when it was your own choice, your own mistake, your own failure and that big of one, that large that you can never undo it. You can never get that life back. So for me, I knew I needed help. So I just went and said, “This is in my past. I hear that you guys help women with these things. I’d love for you to help me. ” And they actually had a book, a little study that we went through, and they matched me up with another woman who had had an abortion in her past and we just met and that went deep and it was so cleansing. I remember just crying as it took me to the Word. I would have to write things out and it was like my heart being ripped out and it was still raw and kind of being scrubbed with that raw, tender heart and yet God used it.

(16:07):

He just got me to the Word. And eventually His Word got bigger than my own thoughts and feelings. I kept telling myself this, but God’s Word kept saying this. And eventually this pile kept growing and growing and I had to make the choice.

Ann (16:22):

The one with God.

Andrea (16:23):

Yes. What am I going to believe in? Am I going to keep believing what I think and feel or am I going to believe what God’s Word says? And just making that choice and then choosing every day. You hear that self-talk telling you this, but then know what does God say to me? What does God say as his child? And then choosing to believe that.

Dave (16:46):

Man, as we celebrate 50 years of ministry, we continue to hear stories of how God is transforming families through FamilyLife.

Ann (16:55):

Like Andrew and Eileen, for example, when they married, they were so full of hope.

Dave (17:00):

Weren’t we all?

Ann (17:01):

But life storms came fast. A newborn, family tension, and strains on their marriage and their home just felt heavy. But God wasn’t finished. Through FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember and Love Like You Mean It® cruise, they rediscovered Christ’s design for marriage and they were even, listen to this, able to help Andrew’s parents reconcile after years of distance.

Dave (17:27):

Which is really what it’s all about.

Ann:

It’s crazy.

Dave:

God changes our marriage so we can impact others. Well, here’s the thing, thousands of couples are facing storms like this right now and some are quietly hurting, some are on the brink of divorce and some need hope today. And I’ll tell you what, this ministry is supported financially from partners like you who say, “I believe in this and I want to give.” And right now, every monthly donation will be matched for a full year doubling the impact of your gift.

Ann (18:00):

So we really hope and pray that you’ll consider joining us. All you have to do is visit FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-Today, and together we can shape the next generation of families who walk with Christ.

Center: Wrapping your life around the One who Matters Most. Take us through this one a little bit. What do you want people to know in this study, particularly like center?

Andrea (18:31):

Yeah. Well, I could so identify with your test, Dave, with hearing a million voices. I mean, even you, I think we’re listening to kids. We could kind of hear it.

Ann (18:40):

Yes.

Andrea (18:41):

We could kind of hear you listen to kids, but I mean, even just the voice inside my own head.

Ann (18:45):

Yes.

Andrea (18:47):

The one I was just talking about, the condemning voice or the voice telling me all the things that I’ve got to do today, my to- do list is like a mile high. And so sometimes I will literally have my Bible open, and my mind is a million miles away.

Ann (19:02):

Or you’re praying and you’ve prayed the same thing a million times.

Andrea (19:05):

Yes. Yes. And so how do I get myself centered on the Lord? How do I put myself in a place that I can hear from Him? One of the things that I like to do is when I find myself doing that, which is often, whether I’m praying or I’m in the Word, I just literally have to tell myself, “Andrea, this is the most important thing you will do all day. This is the most important voice you’ll hear all day. So let’s pull ourselves here. Let’s align ourselves here.” And the way for me to do that has been just getting into the Word, which is why I tried to write just very simple studies, but that will get you right into the Word—

Ann (19:48):

It does.

Andrea (19:48):

—right away and let you pull it apart and hear what God wants to say to you today.

Dave (19:53):

How did you do that? I mean, both of you. I mean, dads live a different life. I mean, not that we’re not around our kids and some are stay-at-home dads and they’re there, but there seems to be we often get separation from them with a job or something outside the home. But you’re not only around your four kids; they’re loud because they’re kids and you’re trying to be centered. How does a mom do that? It is hard to focus on anything. So how do you center? That’s what the study’s about.

Andrea (20:25):

Yeah.

Dave (20:26):

How do you center?

Andrea (20:27):

So I’ll tell you a story. I remember when we had our first daughter. She was our hardest kid for whatever reason. She didn’t want to sleep. She cried a lot. And I remember being up with her at three in the morning, you’re up, you’re nursing your baby, you’ve got all these things going on, trying to keep this baby alive. You don’t know what you’re doing. It’s your first kid. And then I tried to get up and have time with Jesus. I’m exhausted. I can’t even read the words on the page. And so later in the day, I’m folding clothes and I’m complaining to God. I am like mad. I’m like, “God, you gave me this child. I’m happy that I’m a mom, but I really need to get with you because I’m just mad, I’m tired, I’m not doing well.” And I remember the Lord just speaking so loudly to my spirit and just saying, “Andrea, you don’t just have to be with me for 30 minutes to an hour in the morning. You’re folding clothes right now. Could you invite me in?”

(21:31):

And I was like, “Yeah, I can.” And so as I’m folding this shirt, I just start to pray. “God, would you protect my husband? Would you protect his heart? Would you be the one that goes behind him? Your Word says that surely goodness and mercy follow us all the days of our lives.” As I’m folding his shirt and I’m thinking about his back, “God, would you cover him as he’s going with your goodness and mercy?” I pick up another thing. I start to fold it. I’m picking up socks. “God, would you go with him as he’s walking through the day” as I’m folding his socks? And that was just revolutionary to me is that I had had God in this small little box that I could only spend time with him first thing in the morning or last thing at night before I was going to bed.

(22:16):

And now I had this really hard kid that I didn’t know what to do with. And God just said, “Andrea, I’m with you all the time.” So in the chaos, in the moment, how do we pull Him in to create Him still as center?

Ann (22:31):

Andrea, I had that exact same revolution. It was crazy to me. And I think it’s because when you’re single or you’re married without children, you can find these chunks of time. And so that’s what you’re used to, my big chunk of time with Jesus. And so I did the exact same thing. I felt like I need to be talking with God all day long because our oldest was hard too. I was desperate. I was like, “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Andrea (22:58):

Yes.

Ann (22:59):

And I began to pray all day long. I would put Bibles all over the house and then, because even then it’s like, “Oh, I can get a verse in at the table or in a carpool line or whatever.” And then back in the day, this is cassette tapes people. I put that in the car, and it was the Bible. Now we have apps on our phones that we can listen to the Bible, but I can remember listening to the Bible all the time in the car and these kids praise songs, these little Cedarmont Kids and all these crazy—but I thought “Wherever I am, God is with me and I’m going to worship and I’m going to hear the Word and I’m going to sing and I’m going to pray out loud even in the car.” When our kids were little, I had to pray out loud because it was so distracting.

(23:44):

If I prayed out loud, I could keep my thoughts together. But it’s this beautiful journey of God’s saying, “I know right where you are and I’m with you in all of it. I’m right here.”

Andrea (23:55):

He’s so gracious. He meets us right where we are.

Ann (24:01):

Can I just say how much I love Andrea Griffith?

Dave (24:04):

It was awesome. She was awesome. We’re going to have her back again tomorrow. But let me tell you, don’t ever do that to me again; put headphones on and kids screaming in my ears and you didn’t even tell me this is going to happen. I get it, okay? Moms, that’s a chaotic life.

Ann (24:17):

You’re never allowed to do that to me.

Dave (24:21):

You lived it. I got to live it for a couple minutes. But anyway, Andrea will be back tomorrow, and you can pick up her Bible study, Center, Chosen, and Called at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click on the link in the show notes and you can get centered in the chaos of your life. How’s that? We’ll see you back tomorrow.

Ann (24:45):

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